All language subtitles for Two Guys and a Girl s02e19 A Girl And A Fighter

How was your date with Benita last
night?

Great, until get this.

Ashley shows up at the restaurant.

No way.

See, I knew it. I knew it. From the
moment I met her, I told you there was

something weird about her. Yep.

She's a freak.

It's good. You finally came to your
senses.

You would have been proud of me, too,
because I told her I hated her. Good

And then I said, I despise you. And I
loathe you.

Damn you. I detest you.

Race you to the bedroom, you freak.
You're off.

She's wearing my shirt.

Oh, man.

You can't get this in your fancy health
club.

The sweet smell of 50 years of cigar
smoke and sweat.

That stinks of it. I never pictured you
a fight fit. Are you kidding?

When I was a kid, my dad took me to a
Hagler -Hearns fight. I got to sit

Eric Estrada and a woman I'm pretty sure
was a hooker.

Oh, man, oh, man, there's Boom Boom
Mancini on the Bum -a -da, Bum -a -da,

-a -da bag.

You want to meet him? No, no, no, it's
okay. Get him on. Okay.

Hey, Rick.

Johnny, how you doing? Good, man, good.

Where's your girlfriend?

That's my buddy, Burry. He wanted to
meet some real boxers, so, uh, you know

him?

Very funny.

Let's see how your sisters work.

Do their kids still look like me?

Boom, boom!

Yeah, that never grows old.

Ah, okay, okay. Here's Buster. You're
gonna love this guy. Growing up, he used

to protect me from all the bullies.

You? You? Big Moose used to get beat up?

I was scrawny, all right? Up until I was
14, I wasn't much bigger than you.

Hey, Buster!

it before, Johnny. You're distracting
me.

You're bleeding there. Let me take a
look at that lip. This is Berg, the new

man I was telling you about. It's no
use. Once it opens, it never closes.

It's like cats.

What's that?

It's a musical that's been playing
for...

Put this on his lip there. Way to go,
Buster. Now I gotta call a promoter and

postpone a fight.

No, you don't.

A little gauze, a little secret sauce,
and you should be fine. You can take

off now.

Oh, man!

What happened to the cut?

I'm a doctor.

I heal.

Mr. Soap?

Meet Mrs. Soap.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Oh,

wait. Hold on, Burke. I'll let you in.
Oh, it's okay, Pete. I got it.

Ashley. Ashley, what?

You have a key to our apartment? Yeah,
Bert gave me one. He thought it'd be

easier. He gave you a key to our
apartment without discussing it?

Oh, no, no, no. We talked about it. I
agreed with him.

Ashley, you know, I'm kind of in the
middle of something.

Oh, yeah? You getting ready for a big
meeting in your underpants?

What's that supposed to mean?

Come on, Pete. I'm just teasing you
because, you know, you got nothing going

Ashley, you know what?

No, Pete, Pete, Pete. I'm trying to
study. Oh, and besides, Mrs. Soap wants

to take her into the other room.

Here's to having you back where you
belong, baby.

Here, here.

And I'm sorry about that whole thing
with Sean.

Uh -uh.

Ground rule.

Here you mention her name again. Okay,
you got it. Let's just not fight

No, no, no.

I can't believe Ashley.

She barges in like she owns the place.
She makes herself at home. She

me. I have no privacy. Move over.

I hate her. I hate her.

You know, I can't say anything because
she's Berg's girlfriend.

Oh, sure you can. It's her apartment.

You should leave my apartment right now
and go straighten it out.

Right now.

Pete Sharon's right. It's like that old
saying, girlfriends come and go, but

friends are forever.

Girlfriends come and go?

Yeah, yeah. You know, here today, gone
tomorrow. Thanks, Johnny.

Is that what you really think, Johnny?

No, no.

I'm just saying there's a powerful bond
between two friends.

Right, like the powerful bond with your
friend Sean?

You broke the Sean rule! Oh, you said
her name! I can't believe you said her

name! Wait, wait, wait, Sharon, Sharon,
look, you know what?

I don't want to take sides here.

Johnny's right.

Excuse me? You did say Sean's name
first.

And in Johnny's defense... Please don't.
No, no, no, no, no. You know what,

Johnny, she needs to hear this. Okay,
no, no, the madness has to stop.

Look, you know what? We are all sick of
hearing Sean's name.

I mean, Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean.

You know what I'm sick of?

I'm sick of people who sit around in
their bathrobe all day complaining about

how they don't have a real job.

They stick their big fat noses into the
lives of people who have, get this,

lives!

Thanks for sticking up for me. Yeah,
sure.

came down here to tell you I support you
100%. You know, Sharon, it's a little

rude not to knock.

They're having a big guy fest up there
to hell with them. I just want you to

know I am with you, sister!

What are you talking about? The thing
with Pete.

What thing with Pete? You know, how you
get on his nerves.

He said that? Don't worry.

I set him straight between you and...

You have every right to be here no
matter how much Pete doesn't like you.

Pete told you that he doesn't like me?
Yes.

It's a small man who can't handle a
woman that's cold and aloof.

If you ladies will excuse me, I just
came down to get me and Johnny a little

more white wine.

So, you don't like me.

What? Who told you that?

Your big mouth friend, Sharon.

Sharon? Big mouth? Well, what would you
call it?

Now I know you both hate me, but I hate
you one more.

I'm nowhere to go.

Oh.

You're here.

Hey, Ashley, you know what? You're
flying monkeys. We're just in here

for you.

behind a munchkin.

Are you here to complain about me to
Berg?

No. I don't need Berg's help to deal
with you. You're lucky I don't squash

with my slipper and flush you down the
toilet.

Fine. But if you're gonna wait, wait
over there.

Fine.

I'm not pointing to the booth.

I'm pointing to Rhode Island.

Really great. Yeah? Throwing bunches and
bunches. Yeah, it felt good.

Hey, uh, you've been doing such a great
job, so I got you something. What's

this? Just open it.

Okay.

Two bird keep punching marvelous Marvin
Hagler. Johnny told me you were a fan.

Yeah, I don't know what to say. Thank
you. I kind of forget about it.

Ow!

most important people in my life. Come
here, guys.

Buster Garrett, I would like you to meet
Pete, Sharon, and Ashley, my happy

little family.

It's nice to meet you. Hey, Pete, you
got any slices?

Yeah, we got pepperoni, mushroom, or
Canadian bacon.

Ooh, Canadian bacon.

Coming right up.

I think I'm more excited about this
fight than you are. That's because

not the guy getting punched in the face.

Can I talk to you for a second? Sure.
Hey, you got any slices?

Pepperoni, mushroom, or Canadian bacon?

I'll take the Canadian bacon.

Whatever they say, it's not my fault.

Sharon,

you're babbling again. You should be
home nursing that high fever.

You can't be sick, okay? Because we are
all...

Going to the fights tonight.

Front row.

Buster here has got a shot at the guy
who has a shot at the guy who has a shot

at the title.

It's like I'm dreaming.

Hey, you got any slices?

How about a Canadian bacon?

You read my mind.

Bert, can I talk to you for a second?

Oh, wait a minute, Bert. I need to...

Yeah, um, I think there's something
wrong with Buster.

What do you mean?

He just asked for the same slice of
pizza three times.

That doesn't mean anything.

How many times have you told me that Art
Garfunkel in the airport story?

Berg, he just, you know, he seems kind
of out of it.

No, look, trust me, okay? I'm a medical
student.

Pete, you don't know what you're talking
about. You're right. Pete doesn't know

what he's talking about. You want me at
the apartment, don't you, Berg? It's not

my fault Pete doesn't have a job.

petty little troubles you guys are
having i'm in a really good mood so

just do me a favor and handle it like
civilized adult come on buster

let's go beat somebody up

Well, I figured you'd do something
stupid like change the lock, so I left

window open a crack.

A crack?

Oh, wait a minute. I forgot.

Vampires can turn into mist.

Hello.

All right.

Buster is having the fight of his life
tonight, and the three of you...

I'm not going to ruin it for him and
Bert.

It's not my fault. Well, it certainly
isn't mine.

Hey, they're not going to talk to you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No more

pointing fingers.

We're going to sit down and talk this
through and find some common ground.

Fine. Fine. All right. Fine.

Who would like to start?

Ashley? What's the big deal? I just
wanted to spend a little bit of time at

boyfriend's house. I mean, I thought his
idiot roommate and I were getting

along.

It's not like he told me anything was
wrong.

That's right. I was just sitting here,
minding my own business, quietly hating

you.

Okay. Sharon?

Well, I was just upstairs trying to have
a romantic dinner, and if you hadn't

said the S -word, I wouldn't have had to
come down here and rat -peed out the S

-word. Gone.

the reason you got so upset and laughed.
It was you.

Well, it looks like we found our common
ground.

Shouldn't we be pointing the finger at
her? I mean, everything was okay until

she got here.

Oh, really?

Why don't we ask Sean?

I

want

everyone to know I am just here for
Bert. Well, why do you think I'm here?

according to the Bible, to balance good.

Oh, man.

These seats are awesome. We're sure to
get some sweat.

I just want to say you're the best cut
man a fighter could ever have.

Hey, you know, and you're the best
fighter a cut man could ever have.

Forget about it.

If you ladies are through, it's time.

have a beer for me and my friends? How
many?

One.

Can you believe her?

Oh, I'm still mad at her. I'm talking to
you.

Where are you going?

I'm going to talk to Berg.

Do you believe her? Do you believe her?
She's probably going over to Berg the

bad mouth. I hope so.

After the fight, I got something for
you. Hey, come on now. You already got

that picture of Hagler.

Who told you?

Get in his face, kid. Get in his face.

Get out of his face. Out of his face.

Hey, Bert.

The fight's starting.

Bert. Pete.

I'm in the middle of a fight here. Yeah,
I know. So am I.

It's true. I don't like Ashley hanging
around.

What? I didn't tell him.

What? Yes. Once again, you're the idiot.

Well, you know what? I never would have
said anything if Sharon didn't open her

big mouth.

You suck.

Guys, some bikers are eyeing your seats.

No kidding. I'm getting killed out
there.

Hey, how you doing?

Get back to your seats.

I'm not going back to my seat. And you
know what? This is all your fault. None

of this would have happened if you
didn't give Ashley a key.

Wait a second. You gave Ashley a key
without checking with Pete first? That's

really wrong. So this is all Berg's
fault. You know, kid, it's none of my

business. But they make a good point.

I'm going to tell you how it is, all
right?

Sharon, you and Johnny, you fight and
you make up, you fight and you make up.

Find some other kind of foreplay.

You're my best friend. Ashley, you're my
girlfriend, and I'm keeping you both,

so deal with it. And you.

Spit!

That's right.

As long as we've been together, why
haven't we not been fighting? Sorry.

What, you don't think I'm sick of it?

Maybe girlfriends do come and go, and
friends are the only ones that laugh.

Come on, Cher, I didn't mean it. Then
why did you say it? I don't know.

Face it, I'm going to say a lot of
stupid things in our lifetime.

If you want to hold all of them against
me, we're going to be miserable.

What did you just say?

Again, I said something stupid. I'm not
very... No, no, no, no, no, no.

You said we were going to be miserable
for a lifetime.

Oh, Johnny, that's so sweet. No, no, no,
actually... Why should I be nice

to you?

It's not like you ever said a nice thing
about me.

You know, Ashley, it's pretty clear you
don't like me very much. Actually, Pete,

I happen to like you a lot. Oh, yeah,
right.

I guess that's why you put me down all
the time. Yeah, like how you and your

friends always tease each other. I mean,
you call me the devil.

You're the spawn of Satan.

Exactly. I was just trying to be part of
the gang.

Well, you know what?

Could you maybe try to not be so good at
it? Yeah, I could do that. All right, I

can help, too. All right, I'll try to be
more patient when you're around.

I'll try and remember that you're going
through a difficult time and you don't

really have anything going for you
except for your routine.

Try to be less abrasive, that might
help. And try and be less of a baby.

enough making up. Okay.

How am I doing?

You're behind on points, kid. We need a
knockout. He's not looking so good. Work

your magic.

I'm counting on you, Larry.

I'm not Larry.

Larry was his old cut man.

Buster, who am I?

You're Larry, Larry.

Jeez, you'd think he was the one in the
fight. Okay,

that's it. That's it. We're stopping the
fight. I'm calling in the radio. Hey,

what are you doing?

Something is wrong with you.

I can beat him. He's tired.

From beating you senseless.

I want to stop the fight.

All right.

He looks fine to me. Let's go.

No, no, no.

He shouldn't be fighting. He said my
name was Larry.

You look like a Larry.

thrown in the towel.

punch drunk. They say I shouldn't fight
anymore. They don't know what the hell

they're talking about.

Buster, you know they do. If you don't
stop fighting now, you're risking

permanent brain damage.

Yeah? That you don't know what the hell
you're talking about? I got a shot now.

It's over.

The hospital is going to report you to
the boxing commission.

I don't have to worry about them.

See? I gave the hospital a fake name.

Buster Garrett with one R isn't going to
fool anyone.

Playing with your life here.

Fighting is my life. Not anymore.

I'm reporting you myself.

Oh, yeah?

Well, how about I show you how well I
can still fight by breaking your face?

Okay, okay.

You have no idea how terrified I am
right now.

But I'm still going to report you.

You're... You're fine.

Well, uh, the shoulder's acting up
again, and there's this hole in the

And, oh, I had to tell a guy that the
only thing he's ever done in his life he

can't do anymore.

How you doing?

Bert, come on. You did the right thing.

Yeah, Bert. And you know what? Look on
the bright side.

In a few years, he won't remember.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Is there anything that we can do?

No, I think I'm just going to take a
walk.

Okay.

You're a buster.

Sure puts our problems into perspective.

Yeah, I know. All I could think about
was how I was going to get Berg back for

giving Ashley a key.

Me too.

What were you going to do?

Leave a message on his machine as an ex
-girlfriend.

You? I was going to leave a home
pregnancy test kit on his dresser.

Good. You really put a lot of thought
into that.

He's my best friend.

How long

till

you think somebody finds us?

This was a really dumb idea.