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- ♪ Goddamn, goddamn ♪
2
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,428
♪ It's "Goddamn Comedy Jam" ♪
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00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:13,263
- It's cool,'cause it's like you get to
4
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- It's cool,'cause it's like you get to
5
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:14,889
{\an8}strut your stuff
and act like a rock star
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00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,559
for, like, 2 1/2 minutes.
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- I stupidly said yes to this,
8
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- I stupidly said yes to this,
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{\an8}where there's shit loads
of pressure,
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00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,521
{\an8}where people are are
watching me on TV right now.
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00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:24,899
- [singing indistinctly]
12
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:24,899
- [singing indistinctly]
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00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,067
- I've never done this before.I get nervous.
14
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{\an8}But once I hit the stage,
man, it just leaves.
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00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:31,614
{\an8}- I've been rehearsing,
I'm just nervous.
16
00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:31,614
{\an8}- I've been rehearsing,
I'm just nervous.
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{\an8}because I'm like, "oh, maybe
I didn't rehearse enough."
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00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:34,951
- It's just the most funyou could have on stage.
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00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:38,037
{\an8}Every comic wants to be
a rock star or a rapper
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{\an8}Every comic wants to be
a rock star or a rapper
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{\an8}or whatever, and this is, like,
a way to do it
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00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:42,500
where we don't look like
douche bags.
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where we don't look like
douche bags.
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[rock music]
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♪ ♪
26
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♪ ♪
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00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,219
[cheers and applause]
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00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,472
- Welcome to the
"Goddamn Comedy Jam."
29
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,472
- Welcome to the
"Goddamn Comedy Jam."
30
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Give it up for Adam DeVine!
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[cheers and applause]
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:13,573
- Josh Adam Meyers and the
Goddamn Band, everybody!
36
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- Josh Adam Meyers and the
Goddamn Band, everybody!
37
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[cheers and applause]
38
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[screams]
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Oh, my God.
40
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Oh, my God.
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I'm so fucking excited
that they are actually
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making this into a special.
43
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making this into a special.
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This is my--this is, like,
literally my favorite show
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to do in the entire country.
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[cheers and applause]
47
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[cheers and applause]
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So much fun.
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[laughs]
50
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So, like, everybody has, like,
the one song, you know?
51
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:37,514
So, like, everybody has, like,
the one song, you know?
52
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,850
That sort of, like, transports
you, uh, back in time,
53
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,770
where you were like, wherever
you are, you sort of remember
54
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where you were like, wherever
you are, you sort of remember
55
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exactly where you were
when you heard that song,
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when that song
was a part of your life.
57
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Well, my song was
the song that was playing
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Well, my song was
the song that was playing
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when I lost my virginity.
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when I lost my virginity.
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Yeah.
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[cheers and applause]
63
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Yeah, I was 17 years old,
and I was, like, the oldest
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Yeah, I was 17 years old,
and I was, like, the oldest
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out of all my friends,
you know?
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I'm from Omaha, Nebraska,
so we be fucking, and, uh...
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00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:07,043
I'm from Omaha, Nebraska,
so we be fucking, and, uh...
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[laughs]
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And, uh--not me, though.
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Took a while.
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Took a while.
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And, uh, my girlfriend
at the time,
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she was like a sweetheart,
and she was like,
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"I just want it to be perfect."
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"I just want it to be perfect."
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00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:24,727
And I was like, "I know just the
place that'll set the mood."
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And I was like, "I know just the
place that'll set the mood."
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A Blink-182 concert.
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[cheers and applause]
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Right?
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Right?
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That's the--the groundwork.
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So I somehow convinced my
parents into letting, like,
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00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:37,198
So I somehow convinced my
parents into letting, like,
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me and her and a group of
friends to travel from
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Omaha, Nebraska,
all the way down to
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Kansas City--it's, like,
a 3 1/2 hour drive,
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Kansas City--it's, like,
a 3 1/2 hour drive,
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go to the concert,
and the best part is,
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they put us up
in hotel rooms.
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they put us up
in hotel rooms.
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What the--
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what the fuck
were they thinking?
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Obviously, an orgy
is gonna break out.
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Obviously, an orgy
is gonna break out.
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We're 17, we're like--
[screams].
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It won't go down!
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And we go to the show,
and it was everything
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00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:04,767
you expected it to be.
100
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A lot of jumping like this.
101
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A lot of jumping like this.
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A lot of moving your hair
out of your face like this.
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A lot of moving your hair
out of your face like this.
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And, uh, after the show,
we come back to the hotel,
105
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and, you know, the melodic
sounds of Mark, Tom, and Travis
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and, you know, the melodic
sounds of Mark, Tom, and Travis
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were just pulsating through
our nether regions.
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were just pulsating through
our nether regions.
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And we were just...
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ah.
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And we're just locking eyes,
you know, me and her,
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And we're just locking eyes,
you know, me and her,
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and it's getting--
it's sensual.
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And I'm like, "Oh."
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And I'm like, "Oh."
116
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You know?
Like--
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[laughs]
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When you're, like,
losing your virginity,
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or it's, like, all so new,
like, everything--
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or it's, like, all so new,
like, everything--
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every touch is, like, "oh!"
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00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:46,017
"Oh!"
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00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,727
So it's us, like,
slowly unbuttoning
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each other's clothes,
just being like, "Oh!"
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each other's clothes,
just being like, "Oh!"
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[moans]
127
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And then, I'm like,
"Uh, hold up, time out,
128
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I've got the perfect song."
129
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:04,077
And, uh, in hindsight,
"All The Small Things"
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And, uh, in hindsight,
"All The Small Things"
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is the worst song--
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[cheers and applause]
133
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[cheers and applause]
134
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:14,212
It's the worst song
to lose your virginity to.
135
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:14,212
It's the worst song
to lose your virginity to.
136
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,589
'Cause it's about a tiny dick,
you know?
137
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:21,552
And, uh, it's going good
and we're--I'm in it,
138
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:21,552
And, uh, it's going good
and we're--I'm in it,
139
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,972
and, uh...
140
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:24,847
and I'm in it, and she's like,
"Are you in?"
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And I'm like...
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"Yeah, bitch, I'm in.
143
00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,817
"I'm all--this is
as far as I can go.
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I don't, uh..."
145
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,652
I don't, uh..."
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00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:40,947
And then, I hear the words,
"all the small things"
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and all of a sudden, I'm like,
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00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,281
and all of a sudden, I'm like,
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"I've got the tiniest
dick in the world!
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00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:46,869
"My dick is super small!
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00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,913
"It looks gigantic
in her dainty hands,
152
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,913
"It looks gigantic
in her dainty hands,
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00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,916
but not in her
huge pussy, evidently."
154
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:58,172
We did a lot of finger-banging
up to that point.
155
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:01,676
It was just, like,
a year and a half of, "la!"
156
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:01,676
It was just, like,
a year and a half of, "la!"
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Stupid.
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00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:04,387
She's gonna be so embarrassed.
159
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,347
Hi, Chelsea.
And, uh...
160
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,347
Hi, Chelsea.
And, uh...
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00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,516
[cheers and applause]
162
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:16,149
And, but--so I was, like, kind
of nervous and embarrassed,
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00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:18,818
and then I heard
"all the small things,"
164
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:18,818
and then I heard
"all the small things,"
165
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,236
and I looked right at her
as we're making love,
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00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:25,366
and I go, "Huh, more like all
the medium-sized things, right?"
167
00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:25,366
and I go, "Huh, more like all
the medium-sized things, right?"
168
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:31,664
And then she wiggled
uncomfortably, and I came.
169
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:31,664
And then she wiggled
uncomfortably, and I came.
170
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,583
That's all.
It was awkward.
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00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:36,794
So let's take a trip
back in time...
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00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:36,794
So let's take a trip
back in time...
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00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:39,338
[cheers and applause]
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00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:43,593
With Blink-182's
"All The Small Things."
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00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:43,593
With Blink-182's
"All The Small Things."
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00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:47,555
[Blink-182's "All The Small
Things" playing]
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00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:51,976
♪ ♪
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00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:51,976
♪ ♪
179
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:55,104
♪ All the small things ♪
180
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:55,104
♪ All the small things ♪
181
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,191
♪ True care truth brings ♪
182
00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:01,694
♪ I'll take one lift ♪
183
00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:01,694
♪ I'll take one lift ♪
184
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,614
♪ Your ride best trip ♪
185
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,949
♪ Always I know ♪
186
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,949
♪ Always I know ♪
187
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,077
♪ You'll be ♪
188
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,119
♪ At my show ♪
189
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,956
♪ Watching, waiting ♪
190
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,956
♪ Watching, waiting ♪
191
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,126
♪ Commiserating ♪
192
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,836
♪ Say it ain't so ♪
193
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,836
♪ Say it ain't so ♪
194
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,338
♪ I will not go ♪
195
00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:21,005
♪ Turn the lights off ♪
196
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,091
♪ Carry me home ♪
197
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,468
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
198
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,468
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
199
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:26,385
Everybody!
200
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:29,263
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
201
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,641
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
202
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,641
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
203
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:35,812
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na,
na, na ♪
204
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,772
So at this point in the story,
205
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,772
So at this point in the story,
206
00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:40,483
I forgot a condom,
I had to go next door,
207
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,485
and ask my friend,
who was two years younger,
208
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,485
and ask my friend,
who was two years younger,
209
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:43,736
to borrow a condom.
210
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,488
With a mouth full of braces,
he's like,
211
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:47,949
"Oh, my God, I'm so happy
you're losing your virginity!"
212
00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:51,035
♪ Late night come home ♪
213
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:55,039
♪ Work sucks I know ♪
214
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:55,039
♪ Work sucks I know ♪
215
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,750
♪ She left me roses
by the stairs ♪
216
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:58,835
Oh, thank you.
217
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,129
♪ Surprises let me know
she cares ♪
218
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,129
♪ Surprises let me know
she cares ♪
219
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:02,004
♪ Say it ain't so ♪
220
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,382
♪ I will not go ♪
221
00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:05,049
♪ Turn the lights off ♪
222
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,259
♪ Carry me home ♪
223
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,259
♪ Carry me home ♪
224
00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:10,096
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na,
na, na ♪
225
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:13,641
♪ Na, na, na, na, na,
na, na, na ♪
226
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:13,641
♪ Na, na, na, na, na,
na, na, na ♪
227
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:16,185
So now,
I was just standing there.
228
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,354
She'd never let me
have sex with her again.
229
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,354
She'd never let me
have sex with her again.
230
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:21,190
So I was like, "Please,
I'll do better next time!
231
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,025
"You've got to let me
do it again.
232
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,694
"At least give me
two more times.
233
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,694
"At least give me
two more times.
234
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:26,028
"Give me six more times,
235
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,530
"and I'll get better,
I swear to God.
236
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:31,617
Give me a dozen times, and I'll
be a goddamn porn star, please!"
237
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:31,617
Give me a dozen times, and I'll
be a goddamn porn star, please!"
238
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:35,204
She looked at me right in the
eye, and she said,
239
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:38,374
"Let's try it again."
240
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:38,374
"Let's try it again."
241
00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:40,084
♪ Say it ain't so ♪
242
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,627
♪ I will not go ♪
243
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,045
♪ Turn the lights off ♪
244
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,045
♪ Turn the lights off ♪
245
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,131
♪ Carry me home ♪
246
00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:46,632
♪ Keep your head still ♪
247
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,092
♪ I'll be your thrill ♪
248
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,092
♪ I'll be your thrill ♪
249
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,844
♪ The night will go on ♪
250
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,512
♪ My little windmill ♪
251
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,097
♪ Say it ain't so ♪
252
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,390
♪ I will not go ♪
253
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,390
♪ I will not go ♪
254
00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:55,224
♪ Turn the lights off ♪
255
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,059
♪ Carry me home ♪
256
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,145
♪ Keep your head still ♪
257
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:00,771
♪ I'll be your thrill ♪
258
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:00,771
♪ I'll be your thrill ♪
259
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:02,231
♪ The night will go on ♪
260
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,065
♪ The night will go on ♪
261
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,568
♪ My little windmill ♪
262
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:08,487
[cheers and applause]
263
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:08,487
[cheers and applause]
264
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:23,377
[rock music]
265
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:23,377
[rock music]
266
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:26,422
♪ ♪
267
00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:30,009
- Your next performer,
Australia didn't want him.
268
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:32,511
So America took him in.
269
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:32,511
So America took him in.
270
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:33,304
Ladies and gentlemen,
271
00:08:33,387 --> 00:08:37,183
Jim-Motherfucking-Jefferies!
272
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,935
[cheers and applause]
273
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,935
[cheers and applause]
274
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:46,067
♪ ♪
275
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:46,067
♪ ♪
276
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:47,443
- Adam DeVine!
277
00:08:47,526 --> 00:08:50,696
[cheers and applause]
278
00:08:47,526 --> 00:08:50,696
[cheers and applause]
279
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,198
Wow.
280
00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,617
This is, uh...
281
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:55,952
this is very exciting for me.
282
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,954
I, uh, very early on
in my life,
283
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,954
I, uh, very early on
in my life,
284
00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,288
I wanted to be a singer.
285
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,415
I actually studied musical
theater at university,
286
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,626
and I dreamed of
being a singer--
287
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,626
and I dreamed of
being a singer--
288
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,628
actually sang for the
Australian Opera twice.
289
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,129
That's not a big achievement.
290
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,465
It's...
291
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,465
It's...
292
00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:10,675
What happened was,
293
00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:12,760
I thought I was gonna be
a singer, and I smoked,
294
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:15,805
and I--coke, and drank,
and sang too much, and...
295
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:15,805
and I--coke, and drank,
and sang too much, and...
296
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,599
I fucking blew my voice out
and I had nodules.
297
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,810
And they cut the nodules off,
and a doctor said
298
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,810
And they cut the nodules off,
and a doctor said
299
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,604
that I would never,
ever sing again.
300
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:26,023
And I'm here
to prove him right.
301
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:28,943
[cheers and applause]
302
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:28,943
[cheers and applause]
303
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,904
So during that time
with my nodules,
304
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:35,032
I was silent for three months.
I couldn't talk.
305
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:35,032
I was silent for three months.
I couldn't talk.
306
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,492
I just had to sit there
with a pad,
307
00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:37,576
and I knew I'd never
sing again.
308
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,078
I thought,
"what will I do for a job?"
309
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,078
I thought,
"what will I do for a job?"
310
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,372
And I started watching
Eddie Murphy's "Delirious"
311
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:44,333
and Richard Pryor's
"Live in Concert"
312
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,377
and I watched them over
and over and over again,
313
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,377
and I watched them over
and over and over again,
314
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,004
and I decided the first thing
I would say
315
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,506
when I could talk again is,
"I want to be a comedian."
316
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,506
when I could talk again is,
"I want to be a comedian."
317
00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:51,674
And that's what I did.
I became a comedian.
318
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:54,343
I was heavily influenced
by those two comics.
319
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,887
I used to tell a lot of stories
about how hard it is
320
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,887
I used to tell a lot of stories
about how hard it is
321
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:59,890
to be black man
living in Sydney.
322
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,476
Then you cut to
15 years later,
323
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,687
I was in the Soho House
in London.
324
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:05,855
I was all fucked up.
325
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,566
I was in the bar,
and I saw Russell Brand.
326
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,566
I was in the bar,
and I saw Russell Brand.
327
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:12,987
Russell Brand was a radio DJ in
Britain before he came out here.
328
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:16,198
And he did a radio stunt
where he rang up Manuel
329
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:16,198
And he did a radio stunt
where he rang up Manuel
330
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,242
from "Fawlty Towers."
331
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,368
We all know the sitcom,
"Fawlty Towers."
332
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,787
Manuel from "Fawlty Towers."
333
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,787
Manuel from "Fawlty Towers."
334
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,289
An actor called Andrew Sachs.
335
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:25,875
And he left some voice messages
on Andrew Sachs' phone
336
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,544
that went like this,
"I fucked your granddaughter."
337
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,544
that went like this,
"I fucked your granddaughter."
338
00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:30,171
Now...
339
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,506
He left a few of them.
340
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,506
He left a few of them.
341
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,343
Now, a few people thought
that was in poor taste,
342
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,762
ringing a man up and saying,
"I fucked your granddaughter."
343
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:41,182
So after that, they ring every
single comedian up
344
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:41,182
So after that, they ring every
single comedian up
345
00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:43,726
who's seen to be offensive,
and they asked the question,
346
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,895
"when has comedy gone too far?"
347
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,895
"when has comedy gone too far?"
348
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,897
And they rang me up,
and I said, "Well, look,
349
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,232
"I'll never tell a comic
when not to say a joke,
350
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,819
"but yes, I think in this case,
he probably shouldn't have
351
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,819
"but yes, I think in this case,
he probably shouldn't have
352
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,363
rung her grandfather up."
353
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:56,405
And then the reporter said,
354
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,032
"What about when
you fucked her?"
355
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,032
"What about when
you fucked her?"
356
00:10:58,115 --> 00:11:03,245
Now, I have to cut back...
357
00:10:58,115 --> 00:11:03,245
Now, I have to cut back...
358
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:06,082
I was at the Edinburgh Festival,
I was a young comic,
359
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:09,335
and I fucked Manuel from
"Fawlty Towers'" granddaughter.
360
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:09,335
and I fucked Manuel from
"Fawlty Towers'" granddaughter.
361
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:10,586
But--
362
00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:11,921
[cheers and applause]
363
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:15,925
The difference between me
and Russell Brand is,
364
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:15,925
The difference between me
and Russell Brand is,
365
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,718
I didn't ring
her grandfather up.
366
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:20,429
I'm just telling
the story on television
367
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,182
many, many years later.
368
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:26,727
So anyway, I'm in Soho House
and I bump into Russell Brand.
369
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:26,727
So anyway, I'm in Soho House
and I bump into Russell Brand.
370
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:29,647
Now, I'm completely drunk,
he's been sober for years.
371
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:31,607
And I walk up,
and he sees me and he goes,
372
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:32,942
"Oh, Jim Jefferies,
so wonderful to see you."
373
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:32,942
"Oh, Jim Jefferies,
so wonderful to see you."
374
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:36,612
Like...
375
00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:39,615
And I said, "Mate, you owe me
a fucking drink, mate."
376
00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:39,615
And I said, "Mate, you owe me
a fucking drink, mate."
377
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,492
And he goes, "Why would I ever
owe you a drink?"
378
00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:43,953
And I said,
"Because I had sex with
379
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,163
Manuel from "Fawlty Towers'"
granddaughter, as well,
380
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,163
Manuel from "Fawlty Towers'"
granddaughter, as well,
381
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,206
"and I didn't tell anyone,
but I got a lot of shit,
382
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,792
because you did it."
383
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,794
And he went, "Oh, wasn't she
grubby? She needed a wash."
384
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,794
And he went, "Oh, wasn't she
grubby? She needed a wash."
385
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:58,634
At this stage, I'm drunk,
talking to Russell,
386
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:00,761
I've known him for a few years,
387
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,972
And in walks in Noel Gallagher
from Oasis.
388
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,972
And in walks in Noel Gallagher
from Oasis.
389
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:06,600
Now, I love Oasis,
and he he's sober as well,
390
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,687
but I freak out, like, "Noel
Gallagher, it's Noel Gallagher."
391
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,687
but I freak out, like, "Noel
Gallagher, it's Noel Gallagher."
392
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:14,191
And so he comes and joins
Russell, they're best mates,
393
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:16,193
and it's like the three of us
are a group now.
394
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:16,193
and it's like the three of us
are a group now.
395
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:18,988
We're just standing,
and I'm like--[mumbles]
396
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:22,324
Just joining in with the
conversation, and eventually,
397
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:22,324
Just joining in with the
conversation, and eventually,
398
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,493
Noel just looks at me, and then
turns to Russell and goes,
399
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:25,744
"Who's this guy?"
400
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:26,912
Right?
401
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:26,912
Right?
402
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:27,955
And Russell goes,
"Ooh, I'm ever so sorry,
403
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:31,667
this is the wonderful
Jim Jefferies."
404
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,794
[cheers and applause]
405
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,794
[cheers and applause]
406
00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:40,301
And then Noel
put his hand out and said,
407
00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,845
"What do you do?"
408
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:45,264
And I said, "I fucked Manuel
from "Fawlty Towers'"
409
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:45,264
And I said, "I fucked Manuel
from "Fawlty Towers'"
410
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:46,557
granddaughter, as well."
411
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,685
[cheers and applause]
412
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:51,562
So I'm gonna do
an Oasis song now.
413
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:51,562
So I'm gonna do
an Oasis song now.
414
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:53,189
[cheers and applause]
415
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:55,399
[Oasis's "Wonderwall" playing]
416
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:56,942
Okay, we're gonna sing
"Wonderwall."
417
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:56,942
Okay, we're gonna sing
"Wonderwall."
418
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,027
[cheers and applause]
419
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:02,615
♪ ♪
420
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:02,615
♪ ♪
421
00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:05,618
♪ Today is gonna be the day ♪
422
00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:08,704
♪ But they'll never
throw it back to you ♪
423
00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:08,704
♪ But they'll never
throw it back to you ♪
424
00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:11,207
♪ By now you should've somehow ♪
425
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,876
♪ Realized what you got to do ♪
426
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,629
♪ I don't believe that anybody ♪
427
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,629
♪ I don't believe that anybody ♪
428
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:18,380
♪ Feels the way I do
429
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,341
♪ About you now ♪
430
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:23,886
♪ ♪
431
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:23,886
♪ ♪
432
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,764
♪ Back beat the word
is on the street ♪
433
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,764
♪ Back beat the word
is on the street ♪
434
00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:29,934
♪ That the fire
in your heart is out ♪
435
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:31,894
♪ I'm sure you've
heard it all before ♪
436
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:34,647
♪ But you never really
had a doubt ♪
437
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:34,647
♪ But you never really
had a doubt ♪
438
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:36,607
♪ I don't believe that anybody ♪
439
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,276
♪ Feels the way I do ♪
440
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,276
♪ Feels the way I do ♪
441
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,820
♪ About you now ♪
442
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:44,740
♪ ♪
443
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:44,740
♪ ♪
444
00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:47,284
♪ And all the roads
we have to walk ♪
445
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:50,079
♪ Are winding ♪
446
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,581
♪ And all the lights
that lead us there ♪
447
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,581
♪ And all the lights
that lead us there ♪
448
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,334
♪ Are blinding ♪
449
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,920
♪ There are many things that I ♪
450
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,920
♪ There are many things that I ♪
451
00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:59,588
♪ Would like to say to you ♪
452
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,258
♪ But I don't know how ♪
453
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:05,386
♪ ♪
454
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:05,386
♪ ♪
455
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:09,515
♪ 'Cause maybe ♪
456
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:09,515
♪ 'Cause maybe ♪
457
00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:11,225
♪ You're gonna be the one that ♪
458
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:14,562
♪ Saves me ♪
459
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:14,562
♪ Saves me ♪
460
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:19,358
♪ And after all ♪
461
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:23,279
♪ You're my wonderwall ♪
462
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:23,279
♪ You're my wonderwall ♪
463
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:30,578
♪ ♪
464
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:30,578
♪ ♪
465
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,913
♪ Today was gonna be the day ♪
466
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,913
♪ Today was gonna be the day ♪
467
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,708
♪ But they'll never
throw it back to you ♪
468
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:37,876
♪ By now you should've somehow ♪
469
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,629
♪ Realized what you
got to do ♪
470
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,629
♪ Realized what you
got to do ♪
471
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,382
♪ I don't believe that anybody ♪
472
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:45,301
♪ Feels the way I do ♪
473
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:45,301
♪ Feels the way I do ♪
474
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:46,135
♪ About you now ♪
475
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:50,889
♪ ♪
476
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:50,889
♪ ♪
477
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,349
♪ And all the roads ♪
478
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:53,559
♪ We have to walk ♪
479
00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:56,186
♪ Are winding ♪
480
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:56,937
♪ And all the lights ♪
481
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:56,937
♪ And all the lights ♪
482
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,731
♪ That lead us there ♪
483
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:01,483
♪ Are blinding ♪
484
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,069
♪ There are many things that I ♪
485
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,069
♪ There are many things that I ♪
486
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,863
♪ Would like to say to you ♪
487
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:07,156
♪ But I don't know how ♪
488
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:11,660
♪ ♪
489
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:11,660
♪ ♪
490
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:15,581
♪ 'Cause maybe ♪
491
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:15,581
♪ 'Cause maybe ♪
492
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:16,915
♪ You're gonna be the one ♪
493
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:20,669
♪ That saves me ♪
494
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:20,669
♪ That saves me ♪
495
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:24,715
♪ And after all ♪
496
00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:28,844
♪ You're my wonderwall ♪
497
00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:28,844
♪ You're my wonderwall ♪
498
00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:32,306
♪ ♪
499
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:36,518
♪ I said maybe ♪
500
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:36,518
♪ I said maybe ♪
501
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:37,936
♪ You're gonna be the one that ♪
502
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,438
♪ Saves me ♪
503
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,438
♪ Saves me ♪
504
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:42,691
- ♪ Saves me ♪
- ♪ Saves me ♪
505
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,026
♪ ♪
506
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:47,112
[cheers and applause]
507
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:47,112
[cheers and applause]
508
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:52,993
♪ ♪
509
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:52,993
♪ ♪
510
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:55,162
[cheers and applause]
511
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:05,464
[rock music]
512
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:05,464
[rock music]
513
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:05,464
[rock music]
514
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,635
- Welcome back
to the "Goddamn Comedy Jam"!
515
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,635
- Welcome back
to the "Goddamn Comedy Jam"!
516
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:11,762
[cheers and applause]
517
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:15,015
Please welcome to the stage
518
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:15,015
Please welcome to the stage
519
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,726
Natasha Leggero!
520
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,978
[cheers and applause]
521
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:26,527
♪ ♪
522
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:26,527
♪ ♪
523
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,153
- Thank you.
524
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,153
- Thank you.
525
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:31,740
[cheers and applause]
526
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,827
Thank you.
527
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,827
Thank you.
528
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:38,414
I'm from a town called
Rockford, Illinois.
529
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:39,915
[cheers]
530
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:39,915
[cheers]
531
00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:43,627
Cheap Trick
is from Rockford, so...
532
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:45,045
That's the one good thing.
533
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:45,045
That's the one good thing.
534
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:47,089
Rick Nielsen, one of the
greatest living guitar players.
535
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,258
He still lives there.
536
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:52,094
But my brother,
he's the only other person
537
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:52,094
But my brother,
he's the only other person
538
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,097
I know who lives--well,
and he lives in a van
539
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,224
that he put an address on.
540
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,224
that he put an address on.
541
00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:58,517
And...
542
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,687
you guys have, like,
a problem child in your family?
543
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:05,232
Okay, Louie has to drink
a 24-pack of Old Milwaukee.
544
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:05,232
Okay, Louie has to drink
a 24-pack of Old Milwaukee.
545
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:06,483
A day.
546
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:09,278
Just to kind of--and it can only
be Old Milwaukee.
547
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:09,278
Just to kind of--and it can only
be Old Milwaukee.
548
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,405
Like, one time, I bought him
Trader Joe's beer,
549
00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:15,200
and he was like--[screams].
550
00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:15,200
and he was like--[screams].
551
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:18,954
I recently went home
to my Nana's funeral,
552
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,039
and I was there, sitting--
553
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,039
and I was there, sitting--
554
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,500
we were there
sitting in the pew,
555
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,461
and all of a sudden,
we're in this Catholic church,
556
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:29,840
and Louie stands up,
and he's in his court suit,
557
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:29,840
and Louie stands up,
and he's in his court suit,
558
00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:33,260
and he's like...
559
00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:33,260
and he's like...
560
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:35,053
the whole family's, like,
staring, like,
561
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,305
"what's gonna happen?"
562
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,182
They're in the middle
of the eulogy,
563
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:40,934
and he's just like,
"I fucking love you, Nana!"
564
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:40,934
and he's just like,
"I fucking love you, Nana!"
565
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,103
[cheers and applause]
566
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:49,151
So then, we're at the
after party, or whatever.
567
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,820
What's the funeral, after the...
568
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,820
What's the funeral, after the...
569
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,322
the body?
570
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:54,239
Okay.
571
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,949
So we're there,
and Louie
572
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,367
has taken off his button-up,
573
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,367
has taken off his button-up,
574
00:17:57,451 --> 00:18:01,830
so now he's got a t-shirt on
that has an AK-47 on it,
575
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:05,250
that reads, uh,
"this is my other dick."
576
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:05,250
that reads, uh,
"this is my other dick."
577
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,668
So...
578
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,171
I'm like, "Louie, where
did you get that shirt?
579
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,171
I'm like, "Louie, where
did you get that shirt?
580
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:11,340
Why are you wearing it
at Nana's funeral?"
581
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,175
And he's like,
"I got it at the Two Wheel Inn."
582
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:15,886
And I'm like,
"What's the Two Wheel Inn?
583
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:15,886
And I'm like,
"What's the Two Wheel Inn?
584
00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:17,387
I never heard of this place."
585
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:18,514
And he's like,
"You know, it's my biker bar."
586
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,808
And I was like,
"Oh, and they sell clothes?"
587
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,434
He's like, "Yeah.
588
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,434
He's like, "Yeah.
589
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:26,396
Tons of racist t-shirts and
pro-guns and Republican."
590
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,191
I'm like--as a comedian,
I feel like it was my duty
591
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,191
I'm like--as a comedian,
I feel like it was my duty
592
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:32,402
to go see what was happening.
593
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:33,946
[cheers and applause]
594
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:33,946
[cheers and applause]
595
00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:37,199
So I walk into this bar,
596
00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:38,408
and the woman's like,
597
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:39,701
"What're you doing here?"
598
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:39,701
"What're you doing here?"
599
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,078
And I was like, "Um..."
600
00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,413
And I'm looking at her t-shirt
selection behind her,
601
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,541
and I was like,
"Uh, how much for the
602
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,541
and I was like,
"Uh, how much for the
603
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,293
"'speak English or
get the fuck out' shirt?
604
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:52,422
I'm just trying to fit in."
605
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:52,422
I'm just trying to fit in."
606
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,883
And she's kind of rude to me,
and I'm just sitting there,
607
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,802
I'm like,
"This is a terrible idea."
608
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:59,221
And so then I try to, like,
ingratiate myself,
609
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:59,221
And so then I try to, like,
ingratiate myself,
610
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:02,224
I'm like, "Um, I'm Louie's
sister, by the way."
611
00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:05,978
And all of a sudden,
her whole demeanor changes,
612
00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:05,978
And all of a sudden,
her whole demeanor changes,
613
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:10,065
and she's like,
"Louie? We love Louie!"
614
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:10,065
and she's like,
"Louie? We love Louie!"
615
00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:11,567
And then she motions to, like,
this whole group of
616
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,236
ZZ Top extras.
617
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:18,282
And she's like,
"Guys, this is Louie's sister!"
618
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:18,282
And she's like,
"Guys, this is Louie's sister!"
619
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:19,324
And then all
these guys are like,
620
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:22,911
"Louie? Where the hell
has Louie been?"
621
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:22,911
"Louie? Where the hell
has Louie been?"
622
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,998
And I was like, "You know,
he's been spending the night
623
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,207
in Leaf River."
624
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,207
in Leaf River."
625
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:30,752
And then, all of a sudden,
it got silent.
626
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:34,756
And this guy steps forward,
who I can only describe as
627
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:34,756
And this guy steps forward,
who I can only describe as
628
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,341
obese Willie Nelson.
629
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:40,721
And he has--you know,
like, his beard, is like,
630
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:40,721
And he has--you know,
like, his beard, is like,
631
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:44,141
every six inches is like
a ponytail holder.
632
00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:46,184
That look.
633
00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:46,184
That look.
634
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,812
He steps forward,
and he's like,
635
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,981
"Only one house in Leaf River,
636
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,981
"Only one house in Leaf River,
637
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:54,401
and that belongs to my wife."
638
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:57,487
And I'm like,
"Well, I'm sure you'd know if
639
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:57,487
And I'm like,
"Well, I'm sure you'd know if
640
00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:00,824
Louie's been having sex
with your wife."
641
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:03,911
And he's like,
"I work the night shift."
642
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:03,911
And he's like,
"I work the night shift."
643
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:06,622
And then all of a sudden,
everyone just starts, like,
644
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,123
there's, like, murmuring,
and I'm like,
645
00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:09,666
"Oh, my God,
what's gonna happen?"
646
00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:09,666
"Oh, my God,
what's gonna happen?"
647
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,335
And then Cheap Trick's
"Surrender"
648
00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:13,962
comes on the jukebox, and...
649
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:17,215
[cheers and applause]
650
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:17,215
[cheers and applause]
651
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:21,136
I realized,
compared to these people,
652
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:21,136
I realized,
compared to these people,
653
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:22,679
Louie's all right.
654
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,556
He just seems a little weird.
655
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,724
And...
656
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,142
[cheers and applause]
657
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,142
[cheers and applause]
658
00:20:27,225 --> 00:20:31,063
Ladies and gentlemen,
here to help me sing this song,
659
00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:32,481
all the way from
Rockford, Illinois,
660
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:36,526
please welcome, Cheap Trick's
own Rick Nielsen!
661
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:36,526
please welcome, Cheap Trick's
own Rick Nielsen!
662
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:37,861
[cheers and applause]
663
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,822
[Cheap Trick's "Surrender"
[playing]
664
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,822
[Cheap Trick's "Surrender"
[playing]
665
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:48,914
♪ ♪
666
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:48,914
♪ ♪
667
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,585
♪ Mother told me ♪
668
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,212
♪ Yes, she told me ♪
669
00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:57,881
♪ I'd meet girls like you ♪
670
00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:57,881
♪ I'd meet girls like you ♪
671
00:20:57,965 --> 00:20:59,758
♪ She also told me ♪
672
00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:01,093
♪ Stay away ♪
673
00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:02,844
♪ You'll never know what ♪
674
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,013
♪ You'll catch ♪
675
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,013
♪ You'll catch ♪
676
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:08,100
♪ Just the other day I heard ♪
677
00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:11,895
♪ Of a soldier's falling off ♪
678
00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:11,895
♪ Of a soldier's falling off ♪
679
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:15,065
♪ Some Indonesian junk ♪
680
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:15,065
♪ Some Indonesian junk ♪
681
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:20,070
♪ That's going round ♪
682
00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:21,822
♪ Mommy's all right ♪
683
00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:21,822
♪ Mommy's all right ♪
684
00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,573
♪ Daddy's all right ♪
685
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,868
♪ They just seem
a little weird ♪
686
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,537
♪ Surrender ♪
687
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,537
♪ Surrender ♪
688
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:30,038
♪ Surrender ♪
689
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:33,792
♪ But don't give yourself away ♪
690
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:33,792
♪ But don't give yourself away ♪
691
00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:34,793
♪ Hey ♪
692
00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:37,671
♪ Hey ♪
693
00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:44,886
♪ ♪
694
00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:44,886
♪ ♪
695
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,722
[cheers and applause]
696
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:51,935
♪ ♪
697
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:51,935
♪ ♪
698
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:54,312
♪ Whatever happened ♪
699
00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:56,148
♪ To all this season's ♪
700
00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:58,984
♪ Losers of the year ♪
701
00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:58,984
♪ Losers of the year ♪
702
00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:03,447
♪ Every time I got to thinking ♪
703
00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:03,447
♪ Every time I got to thinking ♪
704
00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:06,825
♪ Where'd they disappear ♪
705
00:22:06,908 --> 00:22:08,785
♪ When I woke up ♪
706
00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:10,495
♪ Mom and Dad were ♪
707
00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:10,495
♪ Mom and Dad were ♪
708
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:14,041
♪ Rolling on the couch ♪
709
00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:15,083
♪ Rolling numbers ♪
710
00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:15,083
♪ Rolling numbers ♪
711
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,502
♪ Rock and rollin' ♪
712
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:20,172
♪ Got my KISS records out ♪
713
00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:22,674
♪ Your Mommy's all right ♪
714
00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:22,674
♪ Your Mommy's all right ♪
715
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,551
♪ Your Daddy's all right ♪
716
00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:26,970
♪ They just seem
a little weird ♪
717
00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:26,970
♪ They just seem
a little weird ♪
718
00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,556
♪ Surrender ♪
719
00:22:29,639 --> 00:22:31,141
♪ Surrender ♪
720
00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:35,020
♪ But don't give yourself away ♪
721
00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:35,020
♪ But don't give yourself away ♪
722
00:22:35,103 --> 00:22:36,855
♪ Hey ♪
723
00:22:36,938 --> 00:22:40,233
♪ Hey ♪
724
00:22:36,938 --> 00:22:40,233
♪ Hey ♪
725
00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:42,277
♪ Away ♪
726
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:44,446
♪ ♪
727
00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:45,989
- Oh, yeah!
728
00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:45,989
- Oh, yeah!
729
00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:48,784
- ♪ Surrender ♪
730
00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:50,786
♪ Surrender ♪
731
00:22:50,869 --> 00:22:53,914
♪ But don't give yourself away ♪
732
00:22:50,869 --> 00:22:53,914
♪ But don't give yourself away ♪
733
00:22:53,997 --> 00:22:55,874
♪ Surrender ♪
734
00:22:55,957 --> 00:22:57,793
♪ Surrender ♪
735
00:22:55,957 --> 00:22:57,793
♪ Surrender ♪
736
00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:01,129
♪ But don't give yourself away ♪
737
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:02,047
♪ Surrender ♪
738
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:04,633
♪ Surrender ♪
739
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:04,633
♪ Surrender ♪
740
00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:07,969
♪ But don't give yourself away ♪
741
00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:08,762
♪ Hey ♪
742
00:23:08,845 --> 00:23:12,557
♪ Hey ♪
743
00:23:08,845 --> 00:23:12,557
♪ Hey ♪
744
00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:20,398
♪ ♪
745
00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:20,398
♪ ♪
746
00:23:28,657 --> 00:23:31,493
[cheers and applause]
747
00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:42,754
[rock music]
748
00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:45,507
[cheers and applause]
749
00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:45,507
[cheers and applause]
750
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:46,967
- Hey, it's the
"Goddamn Comedy Jam,"
751
00:23:47,050 --> 00:23:50,220
where comics get to work out
their dysfunctional childhoods
752
00:23:47,050 --> 00:23:50,220
where comics get to work out
their dysfunctional childhoods
753
00:23:50,303 --> 00:23:51,847
to the gift of song.
754
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:54,766
[cheers and applause]
755
00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:59,187
Our next performer does
masterful impressions
756
00:23:59,271 --> 00:23:59,855
and more on "SNL."
757
00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:01,857
I love him.
758
00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:01,857
I love him.
759
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:03,567
Please give it up
for Jay Pharoah!
760
00:24:03,650 --> 00:24:06,653
[cheers and applause]
761
00:24:06,736 --> 00:24:12,617
♪ ♪
762
00:24:06,736 --> 00:24:12,617
♪ ♪
763
00:24:12,701 --> 00:24:14,870
[cheers and applause]
764
00:24:12,701 --> 00:24:14,870
[cheers and applause]
765
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:16,288
- How y'all feeling,
y'all good?
766
00:24:16,371 --> 00:24:18,039
[cheers and applause]
767
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:20,208
Shit!
768
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:20,208
Shit!
769
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:21,668
Oh.
770
00:24:21,751 --> 00:24:24,504
Before I even get started, man,
oh, my God, listen,
771
00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:27,841
I got to give a big shout-out to
Justin Bieber and that album.
772
00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:27,841
I got to give a big shout-out to
Justin Bieber and that album.
773
00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:29,551
Oh, my God, it is the shit.
774
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:32,888
Listen, he got a song
up there that say,
775
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:32,888
Listen, he got a song
up there that say,
776
00:24:32,971 --> 00:24:34,890
♪ Where are you now
that I need ya ♪
777
00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:35,974
Then it goes like this--
778
00:24:36,057 --> 00:24:37,058
[shrieking]
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
779
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,977
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
780
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,977
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
781
00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:40,562
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
782
00:24:40,645 --> 00:24:41,229
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
783
00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:42,898
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
784
00:24:42,981 --> 00:24:48,111
That is--that is the craziest
noise I have heard in my life.
785
00:24:42,981 --> 00:24:48,111
That is--that is the craziest
noise I have heard in my life.
786
00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:50,197
And literally--
fellas, fellas, it was like
787
00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:50,197
And literally--
fellas, fellas, it was like
788
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:53,450
you was holding back
the biggest load, right?
789
00:24:53,533 --> 00:24:54,242
And you were just like,
"Oh, oh, oh--"
790
00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:56,620
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
791
00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:56,620
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
792
00:24:56,703 --> 00:24:58,079
"Oh, my God, it's everywhere,
it's everywhere!
793
00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:00,916
"It's in the tomato soup,
how did it get in the soup?
794
00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:02,417
It's in the soup."
795
00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:02,417
It's in the soup."
796
00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:04,169
Listen, man, I shout-out
to Justin Bieber,
797
00:25:04,252 --> 00:25:05,754
'cause you know what?
798
00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:08,256
He's doing a lot better in the
woman department than I'm doing.
799
00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:08,256
He's doing a lot better in the
woman department than I'm doing.
800
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:10,508
Like for instance,
I tried to date this one chick
801
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:11,718
and she drugged me.
802
00:25:11,801 --> 00:25:13,220
Mm-hmm.
803
00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:15,597
I was at a all-white party.
804
00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:15,597
I was at a all-white party.
805
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,099
Not 'cause of
the clothes, just 'cause
806
00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:19,768
everybody was white, right?
807
00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:19,768
everybody was white, right?
808
00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:22,020
Look, her girlfriend
came out and said,
809
00:25:22,103 --> 00:25:23,271
"We gonna do some drugs."
810
00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:25,023
So I said,
"Hey, where's the weed at?"
811
00:25:25,106 --> 00:25:26,274
She said, "No, no, no, no, no.
812
00:25:25,106 --> 00:25:26,274
She said, "No, no, no, no, no.
813
00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:29,277
We're not doing
hard-core drugs today."
814
00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:34,741
In what universe is weed
a hard-core drug?
815
00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:34,741
In what universe is weed
a hard-core drug?
816
00:25:34,824 --> 00:25:37,911
And what exactly are we about to
indulge in here, you know?
817
00:25:34,824 --> 00:25:37,911
And what exactly are we about to
indulge in here, you know?
818
00:25:37,994 --> 00:25:42,207
What, we 'bout to pop omega fish
pills, or some shit like that?
819
00:25:42,290 --> 00:25:44,376
We about to freebase
Flintstone vitamins?
820
00:25:42,290 --> 00:25:44,376
We about to freebase
Flintstone vitamins?
821
00:25:44,459 --> 00:25:46,878
Like, what the fuck
is going on?
822
00:25:46,962 --> 00:25:49,172
So she came out,
she was like,
823
00:25:49,256 --> 00:25:51,383
"No, no, no, no,
soft-core, like Molly."
824
00:25:49,256 --> 00:25:51,383
"No, no, no, no,
soft-core, like Molly."
825
00:25:51,466 --> 00:25:54,886
I said,
"Molly? Nigga, no."
826
00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:58,390
[cheers and applause]
827
00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:58,390
[cheers and applause]
828
00:25:58,473 --> 00:26:00,976
She say--
829
00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:04,020
she say--she say,
"Whatever, whatever,
830
00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:04,020
she say--she say,
"Whatever, whatever,
831
00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:05,146
it's here if you want it."
832
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:08,441
♪ Whoo-ooh-ohh! ♪
833
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:08,441
♪ Whoo-ooh-ohh! ♪
834
00:26:08,525 --> 00:26:09,693
That's how I knew I ain't
wanting that shit.
835
00:26:09,776 --> 00:26:11,903
She involuntarily did
the Justin Bieber noise.
836
00:26:11,987 --> 00:26:13,655
I said, "I don't want to
fuck with this shit."
837
00:26:11,987 --> 00:26:13,655
I said, "I don't want to
fuck with this shit."
838
00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:15,532
So look, only thing
I wanted the whole night
839
00:26:15,615 --> 00:26:17,993
was a glass
of champagne, right?
840
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:19,703
And you got to understand
something, L.A.,
841
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:19,703
And you got to understand
something, L.A.,
842
00:26:19,786 --> 00:26:21,329
I drink everything the same.
843
00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:22,914
I don't give a fuck what it is.
844
00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:25,417
It can be a cup of cyanide, that
bitch going down in one gulp.
845
00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:25,417
It can be a cup of cyanide, that
bitch going down in one gulp.
846
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:25,834
That's how I do, right?
847
00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:28,837
So...
848
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,464
so they put it out
in front of me, right?
849
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,464
so they put it out
in front of me, right?
850
00:26:31,548 --> 00:26:32,590
They put it out in front of me.
851
00:26:32,674 --> 00:26:34,592
And naturally,
I drink it fast.
852
00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:36,177
Now everybody starts laughing.
853
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:40,098
I calmly said, "What're you
white people laughing at?"
854
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:40,098
I calmly said, "What're you
white people laughing at?"
855
00:26:40,181 --> 00:26:43,351
Her girlfriend say, "Not only
did you just drink Molly,
856
00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:46,187
but you drank six doses of it."
857
00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:49,399
I said, "What?"
858
00:26:49,482 --> 00:26:50,900
Like, literally, this is how
my face was looking--"What?"
859
00:26:50,984 --> 00:26:53,570
I literally looked like
Lamar Odom and Bobby Brown
860
00:26:53,653 --> 00:26:56,031
fucked each other
and had a love child.
861
00:26:53,653 --> 00:26:56,031
fucked each other
and had a love child.
862
00:26:56,114 --> 00:26:57,282
That's how the hell
I looked, right?
863
00:26:57,365 --> 00:26:59,075
So...
864
00:26:59,159 --> 00:27:01,202
what they tell you
about this drug
865
00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:02,370
is that it makes you
feel the best
866
00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:02,370
is that it makes you
feel the best
867
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:04,372
that you've ever felt
in your life.
868
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,791
What they neglect
to tell you, fellas,
869
00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:08,376
is that if you take
enough of this,
870
00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:08,376
is that if you take
enough of this,
871
00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:10,545
your penis will not work.
872
00:27:10,628 --> 00:27:12,047
Because--me and the girl
started making out,
873
00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:15,050
and the signals just weren't
going down there, like--
874
00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:15,050
and the signals just weren't
going down there, like--
875
00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:16,468
and I'm straight
as a right angle,
876
00:27:16,551 --> 00:27:17,635
you know what I'm
talking about?
877
00:27:17,719 --> 00:27:18,511
I'm sitting there
trying to hump the girl,
878
00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:20,263
and it's just not working.
879
00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:20,263
and it's just not working.
880
00:27:20,347 --> 00:27:23,350
I was like, "No. No!"
881
00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:24,601
I turned Kevin Hart--
882
00:27:24,684 --> 00:27:27,479
"No!
883
00:27:24,684 --> 00:27:27,479
"No!
884
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:32,609
"Bam, heh, bam.
885
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:32,609
"Bam, heh, bam.
886
00:27:32,692 --> 00:27:34,569
"First of all, you should've
told me about this drug,
887
00:27:34,652 --> 00:27:35,737
"and what it does.
888
00:27:35,820 --> 00:27:37,280
"That's your first
damn problem--bam!
889
00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:38,323
"Second problem is,
I'm sitting here..."
890
00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:38,323
"Second problem is,
I'm sitting here..."
891
00:27:38,406 --> 00:27:42,243
[cheers and applause]
892
00:27:44,996 --> 00:27:46,206
"Now I'm sitting here
with a retarded dick.
893
00:27:46,289 --> 00:27:49,334
"My dick is like,
'Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.'
894
00:27:49,417 --> 00:27:52,962
I wasn't ready!
Oh, my God!"
895
00:27:53,046 --> 00:27:55,340
So all of a sudden,
I'm so high,
896
00:27:55,423 --> 00:27:57,342
that I see imaginary
Justin Bieber
897
00:27:57,425 --> 00:27:58,593
come in my damn room.
898
00:27:58,676 --> 00:28:01,179
So Justin Bieber is
in my room at this point.
899
00:28:01,262 --> 00:28:05,392
And now he's talking to me.
900
00:28:01,262 --> 00:28:05,392
And now he's talking to me.
901
00:28:05,475 --> 00:28:07,477
[mimics Justin Bieber]
"Yo, Jay...
902
00:28:05,475 --> 00:28:07,477
[mimics Justin Bieber]
"Yo, Jay...
903
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:10,897
watch porn for, like,
five hours."
904
00:28:10,980 --> 00:28:14,734
I watched porn for five hours...
905
00:28:10,980 --> 00:28:14,734
I watched porn for five hours...
906
00:28:14,818 --> 00:28:17,320
and then imaginary
Justin Bieber took his hand,
907
00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:19,864
and he pointed right here.
908
00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:19,864
and he pointed right here.
909
00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:23,243
At he was like
where are you now?
910
00:28:23,326 --> 00:28:23,952
And it was like this.
911
00:28:24,035 --> 00:28:26,538
[laughs]
912
00:28:24,035 --> 00:28:26,538
[laughs]
913
00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:28,123
[cheers and applause]
914
00:28:28,206 --> 00:28:29,916
But listen, that song is dope,
so I'm gonna
915
00:28:29,999 --> 00:28:30,625
perform it for y'all tonight.
916
00:28:30,708 --> 00:28:31,626
[cheers and applause]
917
00:28:30,708 --> 00:28:31,626
[cheers and applause]
918
00:28:31,709 --> 00:28:35,505
"Where Are U Now."
Here we go.
919
00:28:35,588 --> 00:28:37,173
[Justin Bieber's
"Where Are U Now" playing]
920
00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:37,841
- ♪ I need you ♪
921
00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:37,841
- ♪ I need you ♪
922
00:28:37,924 --> 00:28:39,134
♪ I need you to ♪
923
00:28:39,217 --> 00:28:40,343
♪ I need you ♪
924
00:28:40,427 --> 00:28:41,511
♪ I need to, to, to, to, to ♪
925
00:28:41,594 --> 00:28:42,554
♪ I need you to ♪
926
00:28:42,637 --> 00:28:43,513
♪ I need you ♪
927
00:28:42,637 --> 00:28:43,513
♪ I need you ♪
928
00:28:43,596 --> 00:28:44,556
♪ I need you to ♪
929
00:28:44,639 --> 00:28:45,682
♪ I need you ♪
930
00:28:45,765 --> 00:28:46,391
♪ I need you to,
to, to, to, to, to ♪
931
00:28:46,474 --> 00:28:47,392
♪ I need you to ♪
932
00:28:47,475 --> 00:28:50,812
♪ I need you the most ♪
933
00:28:47,475 --> 00:28:50,812
♪ I need you the most ♪
934
00:28:50,895 --> 00:28:52,439
- ♪ I gave you the key ♪
935
00:28:52,522 --> 00:28:55,316
♪ When the door wasn't open ♪
936
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,861
♪ Just admit it ♪
937
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,861
♪ Just admit it ♪
938
00:28:57,944 --> 00:28:59,571
♪ See, I gave you faith ♪
939
00:28:59,654 --> 00:29:02,699
♪ Turned your doubt
into hoping ♪
940
00:28:59,654 --> 00:29:02,699
♪ Turned your doubt
into hoping ♪
941
00:29:02,782 --> 00:29:04,492
♪ Can't deny it ♪
942
00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:06,661
♪ Now I'm all alone ♪
943
00:29:06,744 --> 00:29:10,081
♪ And my joys turned to moping ♪
944
00:29:06,744 --> 00:29:10,081
♪ And my joys turned to moping ♪
945
00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:13,251
♪ Tell me where are you now ♪
946
00:29:13,334 --> 00:29:15,462
♪ That I need ya? ♪
947
00:29:13,334 --> 00:29:15,462
♪ That I need ya? ♪
948
00:29:15,545 --> 00:29:19,299
♪ Where are you now? ♪
949
00:29:19,382 --> 00:29:23,761
♪ Where are you now
that I need ya? ♪
950
00:29:19,382 --> 00:29:23,761
♪ Where are you now
that I need ya? ♪
951
00:29:23,845 --> 00:29:25,305
♪ Couldn't find you anywhere ♪
952
00:29:25,388 --> 00:29:27,682
♪ When you broke down ♪
953
00:29:25,388 --> 00:29:27,682
♪ When you broke down ♪
954
00:29:27,765 --> 00:29:30,435
♪ I didn't leave ya ♪
- ♪ Leave ya ♪
955
00:29:30,518 --> 00:29:33,062
- ♪ I was by your side ♪
956
00:29:30,518 --> 00:29:33,062
- ♪ I was by your side ♪
957
00:29:33,146 --> 00:29:34,314
♪ So where are you now ♪
958
00:29:34,397 --> 00:29:39,194
♪ That I need ya? ♪
959
00:29:34,397 --> 00:29:39,194
♪ That I need ya? ♪
960
00:29:39,277 --> 00:29:43,156
[cheers]
961
00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:45,492
Here we go.
962
00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:45,492
Here we go.
963
00:29:45,575 --> 00:29:48,244
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
964
00:29:48,328 --> 00:29:49,454
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
965
00:29:48,328 --> 00:29:49,454
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
966
00:29:49,537 --> 00:29:52,081
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
967
00:29:52,165 --> 00:29:53,708
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
968
00:29:53,791 --> 00:29:55,418
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
969
00:29:53,791 --> 00:29:55,418
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
970
00:29:55,502 --> 00:29:57,378
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
971
00:29:57,462 --> 00:30:00,215
♪ Where you now
that I need ya? ♪
972
00:30:00,298 --> 00:30:02,550
♪ ♪
973
00:30:00,298 --> 00:30:02,550
♪ ♪
974
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:04,552
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
975
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,304
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
976
00:30:06,387 --> 00:30:08,223
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
977
00:30:06,387 --> 00:30:08,223
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
978
00:30:08,306 --> 00:30:10,058
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
979
00:30:10,141 --> 00:30:11,893
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
980
00:30:11,976 --> 00:30:14,896
♪ Where are you now
that I need ya? ♪
981
00:30:11,976 --> 00:30:14,896
♪ Where are you now
that I need ya? ♪
982
00:30:18,399 --> 00:30:19,567
♪ I gave you attention ♪
983
00:30:18,399 --> 00:30:19,567
♪ I gave you attention ♪
984
00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:22,237
♪ When nobody else was paying ♪
985
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,657
♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪
986
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,657
♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪
987
00:30:25,740 --> 00:30:27,784
♪ I gave you the shirt
off my back ♪
988
00:30:27,867 --> 00:30:30,286
♪ What you saying? ♪
989
00:30:30,370 --> 00:30:32,747
♪ To keep you warm ♪
990
00:30:30,370 --> 00:30:32,747
♪ To keep you warm ♪
991
00:30:32,830 --> 00:30:34,374
♪ I showed you the game ♪
992
00:30:34,457 --> 00:30:37,502
♪ Everybody else was playing ♪
993
00:30:34,457 --> 00:30:37,502
♪ Everybody else was playing ♪
994
00:30:37,585 --> 00:30:40,046
♪ That's for sure ♪
995
00:30:40,129 --> 00:30:41,631
♪ And I was on my knees ♪
996
00:30:41,714 --> 00:30:45,176
♪ When nobody else was praying ♪
997
00:30:41,714 --> 00:30:45,176
♪ When nobody else was praying ♪
998
00:30:45,260 --> 00:30:47,053
♪ Oh, Lord ♪
999
00:30:47,136 --> 00:30:52,016
♪ ♪
1000
00:30:47,136 --> 00:30:52,016
♪ ♪
1001
00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:54,852
♪ Where are you now
that I need ya? ♪
1002
00:30:54,936 --> 00:30:59,274
♪ ♪
1003
00:30:54,936 --> 00:30:59,274
♪ ♪
1004
00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:01,234
♪ Where are you now
that I need ya? ♪
1005
00:31:01,317 --> 00:31:06,531
♪ ♪
1006
00:31:01,317 --> 00:31:06,531
♪ ♪
1007
00:31:06,614 --> 00:31:09,492
♪ Where are you now
that I need ya? ♪
1008
00:31:06,614 --> 00:31:09,492
♪ Where are you now
that I need ya? ♪
1009
00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:10,952
- ♪ I need you to I need you ♪
- Here we go!
1010
00:31:11,035 --> 00:31:11,953
- ♪ I need you to ♪
1011
00:31:12,036 --> 00:31:13,204
♪ I need you ♪
1012
00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:15,206
- Here we go!
- ♪ I need you the most ♪
1013
00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:15,206
- Here we go!
- ♪ I need you the most ♪
1014
00:31:15,290 --> 00:31:16,708
- Here we go!
1015
00:31:16,791 --> 00:31:18,501
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
1016
00:31:18,585 --> 00:31:20,712
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
1017
00:31:18,585 --> 00:31:20,712
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
1018
00:31:20,795 --> 00:31:21,629
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
1019
00:31:21,713 --> 00:31:24,173
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
1020
00:31:24,257 --> 00:31:25,967
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
1021
00:31:24,257 --> 00:31:25,967
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
1022
00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:26,926
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪
1023
00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:31,431
♪ Where you now
that I need ya? ♪
1024
00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:31,431
♪ Where you now
that I need ya? ♪
1025
00:31:31,514 --> 00:31:32,974
Thank y'all so much!
1026
00:31:33,057 --> 00:31:37,103
[cheers and applause]
1027
00:31:37,186 --> 00:31:39,272
Yeah, yeah!
1028
00:31:37,186 --> 00:31:39,272
Yeah, yeah!
1029
00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:44,652
[rock music]
1030
00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:44,652
[rock music]
1031
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:45,903
[cheers and applause]
1032
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:45,903
[cheers and applause]
1033
00:31:45,987 --> 00:31:48,156
Hey, our next performer
1034
00:31:48,239 --> 00:31:51,993
has the biggest
DSLs on "SNL."
1035
00:31:48,239 --> 00:31:51,993
has the biggest
DSLs on "SNL."
1036
00:31:52,076 --> 00:31:53,995
Y'all know what that means,
I ain't got to explain it.
1037
00:31:54,078 --> 00:31:58,166
Y'all give it up
for my homeboy, Pete Davidson!
1038
00:31:54,078 --> 00:31:58,166
Y'all give it up
for my homeboy, Pete Davidson!
1039
00:31:58,249 --> 00:32:00,251
[cheers and applause]
1040
00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:05,006
♪ ♪
1041
00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:05,006
♪ ♪
1042
00:32:05,089 --> 00:32:07,842
[cheers and applause]
1043
00:32:07,925 --> 00:32:09,677
- Thank you, guys.
1044
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:11,846
Thank you.
1045
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:11,846
Thank you.
1046
00:32:11,929 --> 00:32:14,432
Give it up for Jay Pharoah.
1047
00:32:14,515 --> 00:32:15,141
Right?
1048
00:32:15,224 --> 00:32:16,643
[cheers and applause]
1049
00:32:15,224 --> 00:32:16,643
[cheers and applause]
1050
00:32:16,726 --> 00:32:19,520
The Goddamn Comedy Band, right?
1051
00:32:19,604 --> 00:32:21,397
[cheers and applause]
1052
00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:24,484
Fucking sick.
1053
00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:24,484
Fucking sick.
1054
00:32:24,567 --> 00:32:26,986
I fucking love
doing this show.
1055
00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:28,446
This is my favorite show.
1056
00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:28,446
This is my favorite show.
1057
00:32:28,529 --> 00:32:32,075
Any comedian will tell you
that their first goal
1058
00:32:32,158 --> 00:32:35,078
was to be a rock star
or a pop star,
1059
00:32:32,158 --> 00:32:35,078
was to be a rock star
or a pop star,
1060
00:32:35,161 --> 00:32:37,497
so this is, like,
all of us are just having
1061
00:32:37,580 --> 00:32:40,375
the time of our lives up here,
you know?
1062
00:32:37,580 --> 00:32:40,375
the time of our lives up here,
you know?
1063
00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:41,459
We are, you know?
1064
00:32:41,542 --> 00:32:44,879
This is the most fun
I've ever had,
1065
00:32:44,962 --> 00:32:47,131
and I used to open up
for Nick Cannon.
1066
00:32:44,962 --> 00:32:47,131
and I used to open up
for Nick Cannon.
1067
00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:56,224
No, I'm so happy to be here,
you know?
1068
00:32:56,307 --> 00:32:59,811
I love rap music,
it's my favorite.
1069
00:32:56,307 --> 00:32:59,811
I love rap music,
it's my favorite.
1070
00:32:59,894 --> 00:33:02,397
Yeah, I used to get bullied,
'cause I wanted
1071
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:03,564
to be a rapper in high school.
1072
00:33:03,648 --> 00:33:04,857
I wanted to be a rapper.
1073
00:33:03,648 --> 00:33:04,857
I wanted to be a rapper.
1074
00:33:04,941 --> 00:33:10,530
And my name would be VIPete.
1075
00:33:04,941 --> 00:33:10,530
And my name would be VIPete.
1076
00:33:10,613 --> 00:33:12,115
It's kind of a do--right?
1077
00:33:12,198 --> 00:33:13,282
You know,
it's kind of good.
1078
00:33:13,366 --> 00:33:14,867
It's kind of a dope name.
1079
00:33:14,951 --> 00:33:18,162
It's kind of a dope--
you can agree, it's a good name.
1080
00:33:14,951 --> 00:33:18,162
It's kind of a dope--
you can agree, it's a good name.
1081
00:33:18,246 --> 00:33:20,456
But I always used to
listen to hip-hop.
1082
00:33:20,540 --> 00:33:22,083
Never had friends,
so I used to just hang out
1083
00:33:20,540 --> 00:33:22,083
Never had friends,
so I used to just hang out
1084
00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:23,209
and listen to hip-hop,
'cause it would be motivating
1085
00:33:23,292 --> 00:33:25,920
and hip-hop makes you feel good
about yourself.
1086
00:33:26,003 --> 00:33:27,672
But the weird thing would be,
like, my friends
1087
00:33:27,755 --> 00:33:30,091
are all in their mid-30s,
early 40s.
1088
00:33:27,755 --> 00:33:30,091
are all in their mid-30s,
early 40s.
1089
00:33:30,174 --> 00:33:31,384
So, like, they like
a different type of hip-hop.
1090
00:33:31,467 --> 00:33:35,513
Like, they love Biggie
in the way--I like Biggie, too.
1091
00:33:31,467 --> 00:33:35,513
Like, they love Biggie
in the way--I like Biggie, too.
1092
00:33:35,596 --> 00:33:38,433
But the way that--
all right, relax.
1093
00:33:38,516 --> 00:33:42,437
Uh, yeah,
he's not here, obviously.
1094
00:33:38,516 --> 00:33:42,437
Uh, yeah,
he's not here, obviously.
1095
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:44,147
Yeah.
1096
00:33:44,230 --> 00:33:46,107
I know, that wasn't easy,
but you threw it up,
1097
00:33:44,230 --> 00:33:46,107
I know, that wasn't easy,
but you threw it up,
1098
00:33:46,190 --> 00:33:48,776
and I fucking dunked it,
so fuck all of you, how's that?
1099
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:49,777
Um, anyway...
1100
00:33:49,861 --> 00:33:51,112
[cheers and applause]
1101
00:33:51,195 --> 00:33:54,115
No, but when my older friends
talk about Biggie,
1102
00:33:51,195 --> 00:33:54,115
No, but when my older friends
talk about Biggie,
1103
00:33:54,198 --> 00:33:56,159
like, they talk about him like,
they're like,
1104
00:33:56,242 --> 00:33:58,327
"Haha, Notorious."
1105
00:33:56,242 --> 00:33:58,327
"Haha, Notorious."
1106
00:33:58,411 --> 00:33:59,954
You know, they feel it.
1107
00:34:00,037 --> 00:34:01,706
They're like--[mumbles].
1108
00:34:01,789 --> 00:34:02,790
"He would've been the best."
1109
00:34:02,874 --> 00:34:04,500
They're like,
"If he was alive today,
1110
00:34:02,874 --> 00:34:04,500
They're like,
"If he was alive today,
1111
00:34:04,584 --> 00:34:06,461
"he would've been the best,
you know?
1112
00:34:06,544 --> 00:34:07,628
It's so sad that he died."
1113
00:34:07,712 --> 00:34:09,714
And I always try to
make them feel better,
1114
00:34:09,797 --> 00:34:11,215
'cause I feel for them,
and I'm like,
1115
00:34:09,797 --> 00:34:11,215
'cause I feel for them,
and I'm like,
1116
00:34:11,299 --> 00:34:14,927
"It's probably better that he
died back then, then, like, now
1117
00:34:15,011 --> 00:34:17,096
of, like, natural causes."
1118
00:34:15,011 --> 00:34:17,096
of, like, natural causes."
1119
00:34:19,974 --> 00:34:21,309
You know?
Yeah.
1120
00:34:21,392 --> 00:34:23,686
It's better he got shot
than it be, like, a burger
1121
00:34:21,392 --> 00:34:23,686
It's better he got shot
than it be, like, a burger
1122
00:34:23,770 --> 00:34:28,524
that took Biggie down.
1123
00:34:23,770 --> 00:34:28,524
that took Biggie down.
1124
00:34:28,608 --> 00:34:30,610
"Biggie died on Crenshaw,"
What happened?
1125
00:34:30,693 --> 00:34:31,944
"Burger.
1126
00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:34,280
It was a burger."
1127
00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:34,280
It was a burger."
1128
00:34:37,283 --> 00:34:39,202
My favorite rapper is Coolio.
1129
00:34:39,285 --> 00:34:40,328
I love Coolio.
1130
00:34:39,285 --> 00:34:40,328
I love Coolio.
1131
00:34:40,411 --> 00:34:40,787
[cheers and applause]
1132
00:34:40,870 --> 00:34:42,330
Yeah.
1133
00:34:42,413 --> 00:34:45,249
He's still alive, you know?
1134
00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:47,752
He's been alive forever,
and he's a cook, so, you know,
1135
00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:47,752
He's been alive forever,
and he's a cook, so, you know,
1136
00:34:47,835 --> 00:34:50,713
he's healthy
and he's not going anywhere.
1137
00:34:50,797 --> 00:34:52,840
He's a reliable guy to love.
1138
00:34:50,797 --> 00:34:52,840
He's a reliable guy to love.
1139
00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:55,343
Like, I never wake up like,
"Oh, what's happened to Coolio?"
1140
00:34:55,426 --> 00:34:56,511
You know what I mean?
1141
00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:59,347
I know he's
out there somewhere.
1142
00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:59,347
I know he's
out there somewhere.
1143
00:35:00,431 --> 00:35:03,768
Love fucking Coolio,
he's the man.
1144
00:35:03,851 --> 00:35:05,937
First time I ever heard
"Gangsta's Paradise,"
1145
00:35:03,851 --> 00:35:05,937
First time I ever heard
"Gangsta's Paradise,"
1146
00:35:06,020 --> 00:35:07,188
was in a movie.
1147
00:35:07,271 --> 00:35:08,856
Yeah?
Right?
1148
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:10,274
Most of you probably know the
song from "Dangerous Minds."
1149
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:10,274
Most of you probably know the
song from "Dangerous Minds."
1150
00:35:10,358 --> 00:35:13,528
I wasn't alive
when that was a thing.
1151
00:35:13,611 --> 00:35:15,530
I know it from "Pain and Gain,"
1152
00:35:15,613 --> 00:35:18,533
the weight lifting
Michael Bay movie.
1153
00:35:15,613 --> 00:35:18,533
the weight lifting
Michael Bay movie.
1154
00:35:18,616 --> 00:35:21,035
So...
1155
00:35:21,118 --> 00:35:23,704
And another reason why I love
listening to
1156
00:35:21,118 --> 00:35:23,704
And another reason why I love
listening to
1157
00:35:23,788 --> 00:35:26,207
"Gangsta's Paradise"
is there's no N-words in it,
1158
00:35:26,290 --> 00:35:29,836
so, like, I can sing it drunk
and not, like, fuck up.
1159
00:35:26,290 --> 00:35:29,836
so, like, I can sing it drunk
and not, like, fuck up.
1160
00:35:29,919 --> 00:35:32,129
You know what I mean?
1161
00:35:32,213 --> 00:35:33,881
It's--like, I could sing it
confidently
1162
00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:35,466
all the way through,
no matter where I am.
1163
00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:37,718
I don't have to worry.
1164
00:35:37,802 --> 00:35:39,470
I grew up in Staten Island,
and when you grow up
1165
00:35:39,554 --> 00:35:41,389
in Staten Island,
you're just probably gonna be
1166
00:35:39,554 --> 00:35:41,389
in Staten Island,
you're just probably gonna be
1167
00:35:41,472 --> 00:35:43,182
a construction worker
that beats his wife.
1168
00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:44,559
Like, you know?
1169
00:35:44,642 --> 00:35:46,727
Like, that's--it's like
the best you could do.
1170
00:35:44,642 --> 00:35:46,727
Like, that's--it's like
the best you could do.
1171
00:35:46,811 --> 00:35:47,979
You know?
1172
00:35:48,062 --> 00:35:49,564
So I would listen to
"Gangsta's Paradise"
1173
00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:51,065
and it would make me--
you know, like, maybe I can
1174
00:35:51,148 --> 00:35:53,734
get out of Staten Island.
1175
00:35:51,148 --> 00:35:53,734
get out of Staten Island.
1176
00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:55,111
So without further ado, uh,
1177
00:35:55,194 --> 00:35:55,653
let's fucking rock the fuck out.
1178
00:35:55,736 --> 00:35:57,738
You guys ready?
1179
00:35:57,822 --> 00:35:59,282
All right, let's go!
1180
00:35:57,822 --> 00:35:59,282
All right, let's go!
1181
00:35:59,365 --> 00:36:02,577
Hey, put your
motherfucking hands up!
1182
00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:06,289
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
1183
00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:06,289
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
1184
00:36:06,372 --> 00:36:10,251
[Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise"
playing]
1185
00:36:06,372 --> 00:36:10,251
[Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise"
playing]
1186
00:36:10,334 --> 00:36:11,502
♪ ♪
1187
00:36:11,586 --> 00:36:12,920
♪ As I walk through the valley ♪
1188
00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:14,338
♪ Of the shadow of death ♪
1189
00:36:14,422 --> 00:36:15,673
♪ I take a look at my life ♪
1190
00:36:15,756 --> 00:36:17,592
♪ And realize there's
nothing left ♪
1191
00:36:15,756 --> 00:36:17,592
♪ And realize there's
nothing left ♪
1192
00:36:17,675 --> 00:36:18,843
♪ 'Cause I've been brassing ♪
1193
00:36:18,926 --> 00:36:20,011
♪ And laughing so long ♪
1194
00:36:20,094 --> 00:36:20,761
♪ That even my mama thinks ♪
1195
00:36:20,845 --> 00:36:23,097
♪ That my mind is gone ♪
1196
00:36:20,845 --> 00:36:23,097
♪ That my mind is gone ♪
1197
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:24,557
♪ But I ain't never
crossed a man ♪
1198
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:25,433
♪ That didn't deserve it ♪
1199
00:36:25,516 --> 00:36:27,560
♪ Me be treated like a punk ♪
1200
00:36:27,643 --> 00:36:29,186
♪ You know that's unheard of ♪
1201
00:36:27,643 --> 00:36:29,186
♪ You know that's unheard of ♪
1202
00:36:29,270 --> 00:36:30,897
♪ You better watch
how you talking ♪
1203
00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:32,106
♪ And where you walking ♪
1204
00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:33,774
♪ Or you and your homies
might be ♪
1205
00:36:33,858 --> 00:36:34,901
♪ Lined in chalk ♪
1206
00:36:33,858 --> 00:36:34,901
♪ Lined in chalk ♪
1207
00:36:34,984 --> 00:36:36,611
- ♪ I really hate to trip ♪
- Coolio!
1208
00:36:36,694 --> 00:36:37,904
- ♪ But I got to lope ♪
1209
00:36:37,987 --> 00:36:39,488
♪ As they croak I see myself ♪
1210
00:36:39,572 --> 00:36:40,364
♪ In the pistol smoke ♪
1211
00:36:39,572 --> 00:36:40,364
♪ In the pistol smoke ♪
1212
00:36:40,448 --> 00:36:42,408
♪ Fool I'm the kind of G ♪
1213
00:36:42,491 --> 00:36:43,910
♪ That little homies
want to be ♪
1214
00:36:43,993 --> 00:36:45,411
♪ Like on my knees
in the night ♪
1215
00:36:45,494 --> 00:36:47,496
♪ Saying prayers
in the street light ♪
1216
00:36:45,494 --> 00:36:47,496
♪ Saying prayers
in the street light ♪
1217
00:36:47,580 --> 00:36:49,957
♪ They been spending
most their lives ♪
1218
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:51,667
♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1219
00:36:51,751 --> 00:36:53,669
- Put your motherfucking
hands up!
1220
00:36:51,751 --> 00:36:53,669
- Put your motherfucking
hands up!
1221
00:36:53,753 --> 00:36:55,796
- ♪ Been spending
most our lives ♪
1222
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,549
♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1223
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,549
♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1224
00:36:58,633 --> 00:36:59,675
- Say what?
1225
00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:01,636
- ♪ We keep spending
most our lives ♪
1226
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:04,472
♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1227
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:04,472
♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1228
00:37:04,555 --> 00:37:05,890
- I can't hear you!
1229
00:37:05,973 --> 00:37:07,600
- ♪ We keep spending
most our lives ♪
1230
00:37:07,683 --> 00:37:09,977
♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1231
00:37:07,683 --> 00:37:09,977
♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1232
00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:12,230
- ♪ Look at the situation ♪
1233
00:37:12,313 --> 00:37:13,314
♪ They got me facing ♪
1234
00:37:13,397 --> 00:37:14,148
♪ I can't live a normal life ♪
1235
00:37:14,231 --> 00:37:16,317
♪ I was raised by the strip ♪
1236
00:37:14,231 --> 00:37:16,317
♪ I was raised by the strip ♪
1237
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:17,985
♪ So I got to be down ♪
1238
00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:19,153
♪ With the hood team ♪
1239
00:37:19,236 --> 00:37:20,821
♪ Too much television watching ♪
1240
00:37:20,905 --> 00:37:22,114
♪ Got me chasing dreams ♪
1241
00:37:20,905 --> 00:37:22,114
♪ Got me chasing dreams ♪
1242
00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:23,783
♪ I'm a educated fool ♪
1243
00:37:23,866 --> 00:37:24,992
♪ With money on my mind ♪
1244
00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:26,827
♪ Got my ten in my hand ♪
1245
00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:28,079
♪ And a gleam in my eye ♪
1246
00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:28,079
♪ And a gleam in my eye ♪
1247
00:37:28,162 --> 00:37:28,913
♪ I'm a loped out gangsta ♪
1248
00:37:28,996 --> 00:37:31,165
♪ Set trippin' banger ♪
1249
00:37:31,248 --> 00:37:32,625
♪ And my homies is down ♪
1250
00:37:32,708 --> 00:37:34,710
♪ So don't arouse my anger,
fool ♪
1251
00:37:32,708 --> 00:37:34,710
♪ So don't arouse my anger,
fool ♪
1252
00:37:34,794 --> 00:37:35,419
- ♪ Death ain't nothing ♪
1253
00:37:35,503 --> 00:37:37,421
♪ But a heartbeat away ♪
1254
00:37:37,505 --> 00:37:38,130
♪ I'm living life do or die ♪
1255
00:37:38,214 --> 00:37:40,508
both: ♪ What can I say ♪
1256
00:37:38,214 --> 00:37:40,508
both: ♪ What can I say ♪
1257
00:37:40,591 --> 00:37:41,342
- ♪ I'm 23 now ♪
1258
00:37:41,425 --> 00:37:43,761
♪ Will I live to see 24? ♪
1259
00:37:43,844 --> 00:37:44,428
♪ The way things is going ♪
1260
00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:45,137
♪ I don't know ♪
1261
00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:49,058
- ♪ Tell me why are we ♪
1262
00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:49,058
- ♪ Tell me why are we ♪
1263
00:37:49,141 --> 00:37:51,852
♪ So blind to see ♪
1264
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:52,687
♪ That the ones ♪
1265
00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:54,897
♪ We hurt ♪
1266
00:37:54,981 --> 00:37:57,358
♪ Are you and me ♪
1267
00:37:57,441 --> 00:37:58,859
- That's right.
1268
00:37:57,441 --> 00:37:58,859
- That's right.
1269
00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:00,194
- ♪ Been spending
most our lives ♪
1270
00:38:00,277 --> 00:38:03,072
♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1271
00:38:03,155 --> 00:38:04,240
- Yeah!
- Say what?
1272
00:38:03,155 --> 00:38:04,240
- Yeah!
- Say what?
1273
00:38:04,323 --> 00:38:07,201
- ♪ Been spending
most our lives ♪
1274
00:38:07,284 --> 00:38:09,704
♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1275
00:38:09,787 --> 00:38:10,913
- I can't hear you!
1276
00:38:09,787 --> 00:38:10,913
- I can't hear you!
1277
00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:12,957
- ♪ We keep spending
most our lives ♪
1278
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,710
♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1279
00:38:15,793 --> 00:38:17,086
- Louder!
1280
00:38:15,793 --> 00:38:17,086
- Louder!
1281
00:38:17,169 --> 00:38:19,005
- ♪ We keep spending
most our lives ♪
1282
00:38:19,088 --> 00:38:22,383
♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1283
00:38:19,088 --> 00:38:22,383
♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1284
00:38:22,466 --> 00:38:23,551
- ♪ Power and the money ♪
1285
00:38:23,634 --> 00:38:24,969
♪ Money and the power ♪
1286
00:38:25,052 --> 00:38:26,595
♪ Minute after minute ♪
1287
00:38:26,679 --> 00:38:28,222
♪ Hour after hour ♪
1288
00:38:26,679 --> 00:38:28,222
♪ Hour after hour ♪
1289
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:29,432
- ♪ Everybody's running ♪
1290
00:38:29,515 --> 00:38:30,808
♪ But half of them
ain't looking ♪
1291
00:38:30,891 --> 00:38:32,018
both: ♪ What's going on
in the kitchen ♪
1292
00:38:32,101 --> 00:38:33,936
- ♪ But I don't know
what's cooking ♪
1293
00:38:32,101 --> 00:38:33,936
- ♪ But I don't know
what's cooking ♪
1294
00:38:34,020 --> 00:38:35,396
- ♪ They say I've got to learn ♪
1295
00:38:35,479 --> 00:38:36,272
♪ But nobody's here
to teach me ♪
1296
00:38:36,355 --> 00:38:38,482
♪ If they can't understand it ♪
1297
00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:40,401
both: ♪ How can they reach me? ♪
1298
00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:40,401
both: ♪ How can they reach me? ♪
1299
00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:41,402
- ♪ I guess they can't ♪
1300
00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:42,445
- ♪ I guess they won't ♪
1301
00:38:42,528 --> 00:38:43,446
♪ I guess they front ♪
1302
00:38:43,529 --> 00:38:44,405
both: ♪ That's how I know ♪
1303
00:38:44,488 --> 00:38:46,157
♪ My life is out of luck, fool ♪
1304
00:38:44,488 --> 00:38:46,157
♪ My life is out of luck, fool ♪
1305
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:48,409
- ♪ Been spending
most our lives ♪
1306
00:38:48,492 --> 00:38:51,162
♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1307
00:38:51,245 --> 00:38:52,246
- Say what?
1308
00:38:51,245 --> 00:38:52,246
- Say what?
1309
00:38:52,329 --> 00:38:53,581
- ♪ Been spending
most our lives ♪
1310
00:38:53,664 --> 00:38:56,042
- ♪ Living in the
gangsta's paradise ♪
1311
00:38:56,125 --> 00:38:58,961
♪ Tell me why are we ♪
1312
00:38:56,125 --> 00:38:58,961
♪ Tell me why are we ♪
1313
00:38:59,045 --> 00:39:02,423
♪ So blind to see ♪
1314
00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:05,468
♪ That the ones we hurt ♪
1315
00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:05,468
♪ That the ones we hurt ♪
1316
00:39:05,551 --> 00:39:07,970
♪ Are you and me ♪
1317
00:39:08,054 --> 00:39:11,098
- ♪ Tell me why are we ♪
1318
00:39:08,054 --> 00:39:11,098
- ♪ Tell me why are we ♪
1319
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:13,601
♪ So blind to see ♪
1320
00:39:13,684 --> 00:39:16,812
♪ That the ones we hurt ♪
1321
00:39:13,684 --> 00:39:16,812
♪ That the ones we hurt ♪
1322
00:39:16,896 --> 00:39:19,190
- ♪ Are you and me ♪
1323
00:39:19,273 --> 00:39:19,690
♪ ♪
1324
00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:22,860
[screams]
1325
00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:22,860
[screams]
1326
00:39:22,943 --> 00:39:24,278
- Ugh!
- Ugh!
1327
00:39:24,361 --> 00:39:25,946
- Ugh!
- Ugh!
1328
00:39:26,030 --> 00:39:28,574
[screams]
1329
00:39:26,030 --> 00:39:28,574
[screams]
1330
00:39:28,657 --> 00:39:31,535
[cheers and applause]
1331
00:39:31,619 --> 00:39:34,455
- Give it up for Pete Davidson!
- Coolio!
1332
00:39:31,619 --> 00:39:34,455
- Give it up for Pete Davidson!
- Coolio!
1333
00:39:34,538 --> 00:39:36,082
Fucking Coolio!
1334
00:39:36,165 --> 00:39:37,458
- [chants] Pete, Pete,
Pete, Pete!
1335
00:39:37,541 --> 00:39:39,585
[continues chanting]
1336
00:39:42,963 --> 00:39:43,964
[audiences chants "Pete"]
1337
00:39:44,048 --> 00:39:46,050
[cheers and applause]
1338
00:39:44,048 --> 00:39:46,050
[cheers and applause]
1339
00:39:47,384 --> 00:39:48,803
- Pete Davidson, everybody!
1340
00:39:48,886 --> 00:39:51,097
- All right, guys, uh,
after party's at my house.
1341
00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:53,474
Coolio's gonna be there,
so bring your dad.
1342
00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:53,474
Coolio's gonna be there,
so bring your dad.
1343
00:39:53,557 --> 00:39:55,267
Goddamn Band, take us out!
1344
00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:57,895
[Queen's "We Are the Champions"
playing]
1345
00:39:57,978 --> 00:40:01,524
- ♪ I've paid my dues ♪
1346
00:39:57,978 --> 00:40:01,524
- ♪ I've paid my dues ♪
1347
00:40:01,607 --> 00:40:05,319
♪ Time after time ♪
1348
00:40:01,607 --> 00:40:05,319
♪ Time after time ♪
1349
00:40:05,402 --> 00:40:08,656
♪ I've done my sentence ♪
1350
00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:12,118
♪ But committed no crime ♪
1351
00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:12,118
♪ But committed no crime ♪
1352
00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:16,747
- ♪ And bad mistakes ♪
1353
00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:16,747
- ♪ And bad mistakes ♪
1354
00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:20,334
♪ I've made a few ♪
1355
00:40:20,417 --> 00:40:22,378
♪ I've had my share of sand ♪
1356
00:40:22,461 --> 00:40:24,046
♪ Kicked in my face ♪
1357
00:40:24,130 --> 00:40:26,423
♪ But I've come through ♪
1358
00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:27,675
all: ♪ And it goes on ♪
1359
00:40:27,758 --> 00:40:31,011
♪ And on and on and on ♪
1360
00:40:27,758 --> 00:40:31,011
♪ And on and on and on ♪
1361
00:40:31,095 --> 00:40:34,348
- ♪ We are the champions ♪
1362
00:40:34,431 --> 00:40:37,935
♪ My friends ♪
1363
00:40:38,018 --> 00:40:40,604
♪ We'll keep on ♪
1364
00:40:38,018 --> 00:40:40,604
♪ We'll keep on ♪
1365
00:40:40,688 --> 00:40:42,231
- ♪ Fighting ♪
1366
00:40:42,314 --> 00:40:45,234
- ♪ Till the end ♪
1367
00:40:45,317 --> 00:40:50,030
all: ♪ We are the champions ♪
1368
00:40:45,317 --> 00:40:50,030
all: ♪ We are the champions ♪
1369
00:40:50,114 --> 00:40:54,034
♪ We are the champions ♪
1370
00:40:50,114 --> 00:40:54,034
♪ We are the champions ♪
1371
00:40:54,118 --> 00:40:56,495
♪ No time for losers ♪
- We ain't got no time.
1372
00:40:56,579 --> 00:41:02,710
all: ♪ 'Cause we are
the champions ♪
1373
00:40:56,579 --> 00:41:02,710
all: ♪ 'Cause we are
the champions ♪
1374
00:41:02,793 --> 00:41:05,588
♪ Of the world ♪
1375
00:41:02,793 --> 00:41:05,588
♪ Of the world ♪
1376
00:41:05,671 --> 00:41:06,630
- Get 'em, Pete.
1377
00:41:06,714 --> 00:41:10,009
- Petey-Pete Davidson!
1378
00:41:10,092 --> 00:41:13,888
- ♪ I've taken my bows ♪
1379
00:41:10,092 --> 00:41:13,888
- ♪ I've taken my bows ♪
1380
00:41:13,971 --> 00:41:17,766
♪ And my curtain calls ♪
1381
00:41:13,971 --> 00:41:17,766
♪ And my curtain calls ♪
1382
00:41:17,850 --> 00:41:19,310
♪ You brought me fame ♪
1383
00:41:19,393 --> 00:41:21,145
♪ And fortune and everything
that goes with it ♪
1384
00:41:21,228 --> 00:41:24,565
♪ I thank you all ♪
1385
00:41:21,228 --> 00:41:24,565
♪ I thank you all ♪
1386
00:41:24,648 --> 00:41:29,195
- ♪ But it's been
no bed of roses ♪
1387
00:41:24,648 --> 00:41:29,195
- ♪ But it's been
no bed of roses ♪
1388
00:41:29,278 --> 00:41:33,157
♪ No pleasure cruise ♪
1389
00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:34,909
♪ I consider it a challenge ♪
1390
00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:34,909
♪ I consider it a challenge ♪
1391
00:41:34,992 --> 00:41:36,410
♪ Before the human race ♪
1392
00:41:36,493 --> 00:41:38,746
♪ And I ain't gonna lose ♪
1393
00:41:38,829 --> 00:41:40,498
all: ♪ And it goes on ♪
1394
00:41:38,829 --> 00:41:40,498
all: ♪ And it goes on ♪
1395
00:41:40,581 --> 00:41:43,083
♪ And on and on and on ♪
1396
00:41:43,167 --> 00:41:46,545
♪ We are the champions ♪
1397
00:41:43,167 --> 00:41:46,545
♪ We are the champions ♪
1398
00:41:46,629 --> 00:41:50,299
♪ My friends ♪
1399
00:41:50,382 --> 00:41:53,969
♪ And we'll keep on fighting ♪
1400
00:41:50,382 --> 00:41:53,969
♪ And we'll keep on fighting ♪
1401
00:41:54,053 --> 00:41:58,182
♪ Till the end ♪
1402
00:41:58,265 --> 00:42:01,894
♪ We are the champions ♪
1403
00:41:58,265 --> 00:42:01,894
♪ We are the champions ♪
1404
00:42:01,977 --> 00:42:06,148
♪ We are the champions ♪
1405
00:42:01,977 --> 00:42:06,148
♪ We are the champions ♪
1406
00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:08,776
- Of the world!
1407
00:42:08,859 --> 00:42:10,819
Of the world!
1408
00:42:08,859 --> 00:42:10,819
Of the world!
1409
00:42:10,903 --> 00:42:13,072
- Yeah!
1410
00:42:15,741 --> 00:42:18,786
{\an8}[cheers and applause]
1411
00:42:18,869 --> 00:42:21,622
{\an8}- That's what I'm talking about.
1412
00:42:18,869 --> 00:42:21,622
{\an8}- That's what I'm talking about.
1413
00:42:21,705 --> 00:42:24,458
{\an8}West side champions...
- Check, check!
1414
00:42:24,541 --> 00:42:25,542
{\an8}- West side champions.
1415
00:42:25,626 --> 00:42:26,961
{\an8}- One more time!
1416
00:42:25,626 --> 00:42:26,961
{\an8}- One more time!
1417
00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:28,796
{\an8}- West side champion,
goddamn it.
95669
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