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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:05,240 Oh. Well, this is a story about a guy named Al, and he lived in a sewer with 2 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:08,600 master pal. But the sanitation workers really didn't approve, so he packed up 3 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:12,500 his accordion and had to move to a city in Ohio where he lived in a tree. And he 4 00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:15,780 worked in a nasal deconjection factory, and he played on the company bowling 5 00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:18,660 team. And every single night he had a French occurring dream where he was 6 00:00:18,660 --> 00:00:21,440 wearing leader holes and in a vat of sour cream. But that's really not 7 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:22,398 in the story. 8 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,980 Well, the very next year he met a dental hygienist with a special attitude on 9 00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:26,939 her arm. 10 00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:30,560 But he didn't even touch any lobster number. Then he got a public job on a 11 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:31,468 tot farm. 12 00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:33,510 Outro 13 00:00:33,510 --> 00:00:53,950 Music 14 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,580 Today's lesson is, whenever you're in any type of competition, it's always 15 00:01:18,580 --> 00:01:20,740 important to PLAY FAIR! 16 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:34,380 Oh, hi there. I'm just getting my fortune told by Madam Judy the psychic. 17 00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:35,740 This will just take effect. 18 00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:38,540 Madam Judy demands quiet! 19 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:42,360 I will now predict the present! 20 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:44,470 The present? Quiet! 21 00:01:44,750 --> 00:01:46,210 Madam Judy must concentrate! 22 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,190 Oh, 23 00:01:48,390 --> 00:01:53,030 I see that you are wearing a green shirt. 24 00:01:53,770 --> 00:01:55,110 Uh, no. 25 00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:56,730 Wait, Al! 26 00:01:57,090 --> 00:01:58,150 Laying on a pen! 27 00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:04,610 Look, can't you just tell me something about my future? 28 00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,070 No details! 29 00:02:06,810 --> 00:02:09,229 Only cryptic warnings. 30 00:02:09,690 --> 00:02:11,810 Okay, fine. Hit me with a cryptic warning. 31 00:02:15,690 --> 00:02:16,690 Oh, beware. 32 00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:17,810 Beware. 33 00:02:18,330 --> 00:02:21,770 Beware of toads who don't play fair. 34 00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:24,350 That's it? 35 00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:26,150 No! Five bucks, please. 36 00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:33,470 Oh, I now predict that Madam Judy is leaving you. 37 00:02:33,710 --> 00:02:34,770 Oh, goodbye. 38 00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:36,870 Goodbye. Goodbye. 39 00:02:37,510 --> 00:02:39,470 Wow, for once she was actually right. 40 00:02:40,110 --> 00:02:44,470 Well, anyway, I can tell by the old clock on the wall that once again it's 41 00:02:44,470 --> 00:02:45,470 for... 42 00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:51,040 Al's mailbag, that's right. 43 00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:55,200 Well, let's see what our viewers have to say this week. 44 00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:01,080 Ah, hey. 45 00:03:01,820 --> 00:03:05,800 I've got a letter here from Mindy Grotelution in Omaha, Nebraska. 46 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:11,480 And Mindy writes, oh, it's an answer to our trivia question. The question was, 47 00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:15,300 what's the difference between a machine gun and Kenny G? 48 00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:16,720 Let's see if she got it. 49 00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:23,160 Yes, a machine gun only repeats itself 30 times. Congratulations, Mindy. You 50 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,440 win. My undying respect. 51 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,680 Okay, next letter. 52 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:32,620 Thank you. 53 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,700 Wow. Special delivery. 54 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:38,900 Okay. 55 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:44,320 Wow! Can you believe it? Harvey, look at this. Oh. 56 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:48,140 I've been nominated for the Best TV Show Host Award. 57 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,180 Oh, isn't this great? This is so cool. 58 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:54,940 I probably won't win, but it's an honor just to be nominated, right? 59 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:58,040 Did you hear something? 60 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:02,060 Yeah. Oh, it's the guy boarded up on the wall. 61 00:04:03,380 --> 00:04:05,180 Excuse me, Harvey. The public wants me. 62 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,440 Hey, guy boarded up on the wall. What's going on? 63 00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:10,530 Uh, can you do me a big favor? 64 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:11,930 A favor? Sure! 65 00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:13,270 You want an autograph? 66 00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:14,910 A lock of my hair? 67 00:04:15,230 --> 00:04:17,250 A bag of my toenail clippings? 68 00:04:17,529 --> 00:04:18,469 Uh, no. 69 00:04:18,470 --> 00:04:19,649 Could you turn on the TV? 70 00:04:19,850 --> 00:04:21,209 I'm missing the Fred Huggins show. 71 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,270 Fred Huggins? 72 00:04:23,590 --> 00:04:26,070 Oh. Well, okay. 73 00:04:26,450 --> 00:04:27,450 Thanks. 74 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:36,430 Because it really doesn't matter if you're blue or red or green or yellow. 75 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,600 We can all be friends. 76 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:40,380 Right, Papa Bully? 77 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:41,640 Yeah, whatever. 78 00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:46,420 I think his medication's starting to wear off. All righty. Hello, boys and 79 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:50,780 girls. I'm Fred Huggins, and this is the Fred Huggins Show. 80 00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:55,180 Imagine that. Well, why don't we all get comfortable and take off some of these 81 00:04:55,180 --> 00:04:56,280 heavy clothes? 82 00:04:56,860 --> 00:04:57,860 What? What? 83 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:02,100 I'll start with my little shoosie -woosie. Oh, no. 84 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,840 Anything but that. No! Please, stop! 85 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:06,480 Oh, 86 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,300 that's better, isn't it? 87 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,520 Fred Huggins, what a joke. 88 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,400 Let's see what else is on. 89 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,980 I want you all to just shake it out. 90 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:26,980 That's right, shake it out. Get yourself all limber and loosey -goosey. That's 91 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,520 right. I said shake it out. 92 00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:33,640 That's right. You don't want to be exercising too soon, too fast. 93 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,000 You're liable to. 94 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,520 We're back with the Uncle Ralphie Show. 95 00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:57,480 Aren't we having the time of our lives? 96 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,080 Miffy? Pipe down, Miffy. 97 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:05,000 On a slightly more serious note, I would like to thank all of my wonderful fans 98 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,640 for nominating me for Best TV Show Host. 99 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:12,000 When I win that award, and I will win, I want you all to remember that I never 100 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,840 could have done it without the help of all the little people that I had to step 101 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:15,840 on to get where I am today. 102 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:17,600 Well, why don't we go to the phone? 103 00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:22,440 Uncle Ralphie Show, you're on the air. 104 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,440 Hi, I'm a first -time caller? 105 00:06:24,820 --> 00:06:25,820 Yes, you have a question. 106 00:06:27,630 --> 00:06:29,110 Pretty sure you're going to win that award. 107 00:06:29,370 --> 00:06:30,570 Yeah, well, why wouldn't I? 108 00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:36,230 Well, I think there are some other wonderful TV show hosts out there that 109 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,530 good chance of winning, too. 110 00:06:37,910 --> 00:06:40,890 Yeah, right, like that loser Weird Al. 111 00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:43,750 I am not a loser! 112 00:06:43,990 --> 00:06:44,990 You! 113 00:06:45,390 --> 00:06:49,030 Oh, I get it. You're trying to sabotage my show. That's not fair! 114 00:06:49,390 --> 00:06:53,170 I never... I was merely pointing out that you haven't won yet. 115 00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:54,369 Well, I will! 116 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:55,890 I'm going to be number one! 117 00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:58,410 No, I'm... I'm gonna be number one! No! 118 00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:02,610 Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! 119 00:07:02,610 --> 00:07:02,610 Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! 120 00:07:02,610 --> 00:07:03,409 Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! 121 00:07:03,410 --> 00:07:05,070 Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! 122 00:07:06,890 --> 00:07:07,590 Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! 123 00:07:07,590 --> 00:07:07,949 Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! 124 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:08,950 Me! 125 00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:11,330 Me! 126 00:07:17,410 --> 00:07:18,950 Me! Me! 127 00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:21,310 Me 128 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:27,080 I want you to keep an eye on Uncle Ralphie. You know, get some inside info 129 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,020 him. I think he's liable to pull something. 130 00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:30,260 You got it, Al. 131 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,200 Oh, 132 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,200 and another thing, I... Oh, she's good. 133 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,860 Anyway, I'm probably just being paranoid. I mean, I'm sure Uncle Ralphie 134 00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:42,860 wouldn't... 135 00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:00,870 Nobody says that about my pal! 136 00:08:01,370 --> 00:08:02,910 That's it! This is war! 137 00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:05,310 You're going down, Uncle Ralphie! 138 00:08:07,090 --> 00:08:11,650 We'll be right back. That marching band has Al playing an angry tune. But is 139 00:08:11,650 --> 00:08:14,350 destroying the competition really the best way to win? 140 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,390 Don't go away! 141 00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:18,090 We'll be right back! 142 00:08:21,190 --> 00:08:23,990 Can you believe it? The Weird Al Show is back! 143 00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:30,010 Wow. Who doesn't love a good marching band? 144 00:08:30,270 --> 00:08:33,510 Nobody. Except maybe that loser, Weird Al. 145 00:08:37,289 --> 00:08:41,970 Bullseye! And now two very special treats. First, buttered popcorn for 146 00:08:41,970 --> 00:08:43,590 everybody. Here's the popcorn. 147 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:03,760 And now for the real treat. Please welcome an act so special they would 148 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,300 agree to do my show. 149 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:06,900 Here they are. 150 00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:08,700 Radish! 151 00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:18,540 Ha! 152 00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:23,060 Look at that, Harvey. They're a no -show. They canceled on him. 153 00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:24,840 Oh, that's beautiful. 154 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:28,860 Gee, wonder why they'd go and do a thing like that. 155 00:09:30,230 --> 00:09:32,230 Radish? What are you guys doing here? 156 00:09:33,130 --> 00:09:34,790 Val, what did you do? 157 00:09:35,490 --> 00:09:40,690 No, no, don't you look at me like that, Al. This is war. 158 00:09:41,570 --> 00:09:42,570 Remember? 159 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,510 Yeah, I guess you're right. 160 00:09:45,950 --> 00:09:50,730 So, Radish, what song will you be performing on my show today? 161 00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:52,350 You're crazy. 162 00:09:54,090 --> 00:09:56,510 Oh, come on. Sing a song. 163 00:09:57,050 --> 00:10:00,380 Please? You're completely out of your mind. Pretty please? 164 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,120 We're not doing your stupid show. You kidnapped us. 165 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,260 I see. I see. 166 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,740 Well, then maybe you'd like to watch The Collected Works of Pauly Shore. 167 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:11,400 No! 168 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,940 Any particular song you want to hear? 169 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,320 Oh. 170 00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:19,960 Surprise me. 171 00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:53,320 Wishing God would lend a hand. 172 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:59,640 Wishing God would lend a hand. Wishing God would lend a hand. 173 00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:05,700 Wishing God would lend a hand. 174 00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:17,330 Take it real. 175 00:11:55,440 --> 00:12:01,340 While the ocean at my heel Is 176 00:12:01,340 --> 00:12:08,240 a water field Up 177 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:14,920 in the sky, something catches my eye Bright as a 178 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,640 star in the northern sky 179 00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:28,820 Take it. 180 00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:18,710 Yeah, yeah. 181 00:13:35,970 --> 00:13:37,010 Hey, Al. 182 00:13:37,470 --> 00:13:38,470 They're getting away. 183 00:13:38,950 --> 00:13:40,070 Don't worry about it. 184 00:13:40,770 --> 00:13:42,890 Hey, kids. I'm Weird Ralph. 185 00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:44,910 What are they doing? 186 00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:50,080 And now here's everyone's favorite rodent, my very, very best friend in the 187 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:53,380 whole world, Marvin the Super Guinea Pig. 188 00:13:56,060 --> 00:14:02,700 How awful. How heartless. How could anyone think so low as to do a parody of 189 00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:03,760 another human being? 190 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:08,380 And making a guinea pig wear blue after Labor Day? What are they thinking? 191 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:13,120 Hey, Al, have you seen Weird Ralph? This guy's a hoot. 192 00:14:13,380 --> 00:14:14,580 I'll do any... 193 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,660 Best TV show host award. 194 00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:17,900 Any advice? 195 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,680 Yes. If you're going to compete with Uncle Ralphie, play fair. 196 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,840 The important thing is you just do the best show you can do. 197 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:30,580 Hey, I've got it. How about if I get a bunch of plastic surgery and change my 198 00:14:30,580 --> 00:14:31,580 looks? 199 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,200 Um, yeah. 200 00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:36,240 That would have been my second choice. 201 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,520 Well, it's a good thing my brand new invention is an instant plastic surgery 202 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:43,520 machine. 203 00:14:43,790 --> 00:14:46,510 I knew the thing would come in handy in a pinch. Let's give it a shot. 204 00:14:53,530 --> 00:14:54,530 Where's that mirror? 205 00:14:56,090 --> 00:14:57,610 Oh, no! What have I done? 206 00:14:59,370 --> 00:15:06,110 That was scary. 207 00:15:07,450 --> 00:15:10,250 Hey, where'd this package come from? 208 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:16,200 Some suspicious -looking clown snuck in here and set it on a table real careful, 209 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,580 like... Wow, package from a clown? 210 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:19,880 How cool is that? 211 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:22,760 Wow! 212 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,660 Giant wax lips! 213 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,580 Just what I always wanted! 214 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,560 And they're... kicking. 215 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:48,020 the last time Al takes any lift from Uncle Ralphie. But will Uncle Ralphie's 216 00:15:48,020 --> 00:15:49,900 dirty tricks blow up in his face? 217 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,260 Hold your horses! 218 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:53,860 We'll be right back! 219 00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:57,720 All right! 220 00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,960 The Weird Al Show is back! 221 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,020 Uncle Ralphie's gone way too far! 222 00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:06,900 If he's not going to play fair, then neither am I! 223 00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:11,380 Val, I'm going to ask you to do something, and I don't want to hear an 224 00:16:12,390 --> 00:16:14,790 Execute secret plan 7B. 225 00:16:15,570 --> 00:16:22,570 Not 7B. Yes, 7B. I can't. You must. But I can't. You must. No, I can't. You 226 00:16:22,570 --> 00:16:23,570 never told me what it was. 227 00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:24,890 Oh. 228 00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:26,850 Got it. 229 00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:31,310 Weasel boy, this is Mother Hubbard. 230 00:16:31,770 --> 00:16:34,150 Release the poodles. 231 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,300 This requires the utmost concentration. 232 00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:45,260 We sure don't want any miscalculations now, do we, Mippy? 233 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:53,460 That's right, because even the slightest distraction... Oh, 234 00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:54,460 no! 235 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,080 That's a good one. 236 00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:05,760 You know, all this espionage is making me kind of hungry. 237 00:17:06,220 --> 00:17:09,240 Think I'll pop out to the kitchen for a little nutrition break. Care to join me, 238 00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:10,219 Val? 239 00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:11,220 Val? 240 00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,240 She's a slippery one, all right. 241 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:19,839 Anyway... Here's one of my favorite recipes. 242 00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:22,140 First, take a raw potato. 243 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:23,700 Don't wash it! 244 00:17:24,099 --> 00:17:26,680 Next, cut it in half with a blunt knife. 245 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,620 Then, sprinkle liberally with gummy worms. 246 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:33,380 And finally, top with your favorite brand of India ink. 247 00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:36,050 Mmm, now that's good eating. 248 00:17:40,050 --> 00:17:45,290 Somebody switched my favorite brand of ink with my very least favorite brand of 249 00:17:45,290 --> 00:17:48,990 ink. Who could have done such a horrible, despicable thing? 250 00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:51,910 Uncle Ralphie! 251 00:17:52,370 --> 00:17:53,610 Ow! Ow! 252 00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:54,950 Ow! 253 00:17:55,250 --> 00:17:56,690 What? What is it? 254 00:17:57,350 --> 00:18:01,610 Can't you see I'm busy plotting the annihilation of a fellow TV show host? 255 00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:02,670 award show is on. 256 00:18:03,390 --> 00:18:05,090 What a word show. And you're not there. 257 00:18:05,490 --> 00:18:06,530 Oh, man, you're right. 258 00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:10,010 I got so wrapped up in this whole Uncle Ralphie thing, I forgot all about it. 259 00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:14,170 Thank you. 260 00:18:14,630 --> 00:18:18,870 And now, without further ado, the moment you've been waiting for. 261 00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:20,950 May I have the envelope, please? 262 00:18:22,010 --> 00:18:22,989 Thank you. 263 00:18:22,990 --> 00:18:28,070 And now the winner of the Best TV Show Host Award goes to... 264 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:34,460 But before I announce the winner, I just want to say something. 265 00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:41,020 Every day in our country, thousands of our youngsters go to amusement parks and 266 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:46,520 arcades and play a supposedly innocent game called Whack a Squirrel. 267 00:18:46,940 --> 00:18:53,900 Well, I personally don't find anything cute, charming, or fun about a game that 268 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:58,160 openly encourages abuse and violence towards our furry rodent. 269 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,280 Will you please stop the insanity? 270 00:19:04,540 --> 00:19:05,540 Thank you. 271 00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:07,640 Now, where was I? 272 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,040 Oh, yes! 273 00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:15,740 The winner of the Best TV Show Host Award is... Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! 274 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:20,040 Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! 275 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,040 Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! 276 00:19:21,780 --> 00:19:22,980 Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! 277 00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:23,100 Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! 278 00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:23,739 Me! Me! 279 00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:24,359 Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! 280 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:25,360 Me! 281 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:26,640 Me! 282 00:19:27,180 --> 00:19:28,720 Me! Me! 283 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:30,160 Me 284 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,540 I can't believe I won. 285 00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:53,840 The only thing that makes winning even better is that my two best friends in 286 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,040 world are here to share it with me. 287 00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:57,820 Guess again, you freak. 288 00:19:58,220 --> 00:20:04,860 I want to go home. I just want to say this is the proudest moment of my 289 00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:11,200 life because now I know you like me. You really want me. 290 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:19,570 I blame you, Mippy. 291 00:20:20,770 --> 00:20:21,930 What'll it be first? 292 00:20:22,690 --> 00:20:23,690 Injury again? 293 00:20:24,270 --> 00:20:25,690 Or jury duty? 294 00:20:31,170 --> 00:20:37,890 You know, it's real 295 00:20:37,890 --> 00:20:39,530 whack you didn't win that award out. 296 00:20:39,790 --> 00:20:43,690 Well, Fred Huggins is pretty lame, but at least he played by the rules. 297 00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:47,260 I've just been spending all my time trying to destroy Uncle Ralphie. 298 00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:50,660 Well, you just wait. Next year, I'll beat everybody. 299 00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:56,360 But I'll do it fair and square, on the level, straight as an arrow, by making 300 00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:57,960 show the very best it can be. 301 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,440 And I know exactly how I'm going to do it! 302 00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:11,160 Don't go away, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life! 303 00:21:15,950 --> 00:21:16,950 Did you miss me? 304 00:21:18,930 --> 00:21:23,950 And now, presenting my very best friend in the whole stinking world, Harvey the 305 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,170 Wonder Hamster! Yay! 306 00:21:25,990 --> 00:21:26,990 How you doing, pal? 307 00:21:27,130 --> 00:21:28,130 You ready for a big stunt? 308 00:21:28,670 --> 00:21:32,370 Okay, today Harvey is going to hang the line from Mount Everest. 309 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:33,709 You ready? 310 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:34,830 Okay, here we go! 311 00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,790 Oh, Harvey's the best. 312 00:21:51,130 --> 00:21:52,530 He's way better than mediocre. 313 00:21:53,210 --> 00:21:57,810 Anyway, it looks like the end of the show because, well, that's what it is. 314 00:21:57,810 --> 00:22:02,010 until next time, keep your feet on the ground, keep your chin held high, and 315 00:22:02,010 --> 00:22:05,130 keep an extra pair of safety goggles handy because you never know when an 316 00:22:05,130 --> 00:22:07,530 interdimensional black hole is going to... No! 22763