Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:09,410
Day 7: All the housemates
are in the kitchen
2
00:00:39,570 --> 00:00:41,230
Rita, what on earth are you doing?
3
00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:43,380
I'm learning to play the recorder.
4
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:44,490
Why?
5
00:00:44,550 --> 00:00:48,670
Well, it's the school's idea, they say that
every now and then, you should swap places
with your child
6
00:00:48,830 --> 00:00:53,420
so each of you gets to see how the other half
lives. So I'm learning how to play the recorder.
7
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,150
What's your daughter's doing?
8
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,380
Oh, she's sat at home with a bottle of
gin, thinking about her failed marriage.
9
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:01,840
Rita, you're a card.
10
00:01:02,030 --> 00:01:04,150
Yeah, the joker.
11
00:01:06,290 --> 00:01:09,320
Oh, it' no good, it's too difficult.
12
00:01:09,350 --> 00:01:14,890
Rita, I used to play the recorder
at school, let me help your learn.
13
00:01:15,020 --> 00:01:16,520
Thank you Brance. Okay, so...
14
00:01:16,650 --> 00:01:19,580
Yes Mr Yamaguchi...
No Mr Yamaguchi...
15
00:01:19,710 --> 00:01:22,570
Can I just say, one more
time, I'm velly velly solly
16
00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:28,660
I mean, very very sorry. I'll talk
to you too, I'll talk to you, good bye
17
00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:33,210
Rita, just relax...
18
00:01:33,930 --> 00:01:36,270
But it's so hard...
19
00:01:39,090 --> 00:01:41,890
Just take it in your hand...
20
00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:43,550
...and blow...
21
00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:46,420
Don't suck...
22
00:01:47,780 --> 00:01:49,280
Oh, that's good.
23
00:01:51,770 --> 00:01:53,290
What the bloody
hell is going on here
24
00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:58,420
Oh, sorry Mr Stokes I don't know
when I'm blowing or when I'm sucking
25
00:01:58,510 --> 00:02:00,530
She's learning to play
the recorder, Mr Stokes
26
00:02:00,670 --> 00:02:02,690
What does it record? Hein?
27
00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:04,520
What does it record?
28
00:02:04,870 --> 00:02:06,110
it doesn't record anything
29
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,860
Why is it called a recorder
for, then? I don't get it
30
00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:14,310
Are you having a laugh?
Is he having a laugh?
31
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,320
Ah, sometimes Gobler...
32
00:02:25,410 --> 00:02:27,370
Raymond... Oh my god!
33
00:02:27,750 --> 00:02:29,600
What is it? Raymond...
34
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,500
It's only my bloody twin sister
35
00:02:36,170 --> 00:02:37,280
Hello Raymond
36
00:02:37,410 --> 00:02:38,720
What are you doing here?
37
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:43,040
A younger gets lonely. Maybe
still but what are YOU doing here?
38
00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:19,650
Mr Millman... What?
39
00:03:19,740 --> 00:03:23,910
Hello there, sorry to bother you, I saw you
in here, my name is Richard, I'm a manager
40
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,370
You 've got to help me -Why?
41
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:29,270
Would you mind signing a
few of these? -What, now?
42
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,520
They're not moving...
43
00:03:30,630 --> 00:03:34,440
Just as many as you can manage, if you
sign ten, that's ten more chances of selling
44
00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:37,450
I thought the public would lap this tat up for
Christmas but they're more discerning
than I thought
45
00:03:38,570 --> 00:03:41,390
Even the Jade doll are
selling better than this one
46
00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:43,650
I'm up there cherry,
and I'm loooving it!
47
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,250
Shut up! Fifty years ago they had you
upside down with a fucking fork up your arse!
48
00:03:50,510 --> 00:03:53,640
Cheap and ugly, isn't it?
I suppose that's the problem
49
00:03:53,780 --> 00:03:54,850
It is ugly
50
00:03:56,210 --> 00:03:56,880
Are you having a laugh?
51
00:03:57,690 --> 00:03:58,370
Are you having a laugh?
52
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,950
Who to thought people would
eventually find that irritating?
53
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,620
The thing is, you got to order
this things like a year in advance
54
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:08,410
Still...I won't make the
same mistake again. No.
55
00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:10,180
I'll make my money
back next Christmas
56
00:04:10,660 --> 00:04:13,540
I've ordered ten
thousand Sanjaya dolls
57
00:04:13,690 --> 00:04:16,490
Ah, you're laughing
then, aren't you?
58
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,550
What would you rather do, right?
59
00:04:21,630 --> 00:04:25,990
Never celebrate Christmas ever
or have Christmas every day?
60
00:04:26,130 --> 00:04:27,960
If it's Christmas every
day, what do I have to do?
61
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:31,990
Nothing, it's Christmas, you just sit at
home, whatching the TV, having the day off
62
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,440
What, so noone works, there no
industry, no government, it's chaos
63
00:04:35,570 --> 00:04:37,430
So you've rather never
celebrate Christmas?
64
00:04:37,690 --> 00:04:39,670
Yeah, if that was the choice
65
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,730
So you'll be jewish, they
don't celebrate Christmas
66
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:46,810
Why would I suddenly be jewish? I
don't know what you're talking about...
67
00:04:49,110 --> 00:04:49,610
ready?
68
00:04:50,650 --> 00:04:51,220
yes
69
00:05:05,210 --> 00:05:09,070
Look, it's Greg, in a film. Oh,
come on, we can't watch TV in the day
70
00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:10,770
No, no wait, I want to see
71
00:05:10,850 --> 00:05:14,750
No man has the right to kill his brother
It is no excuse to do so in uniform
72
00:05:15,170 --> 00:05:17,150
It merely adds the
infamy of servitude,
73
00:05:17,670 --> 00:05:19,470
to the crime of murder
74
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,350
I love Clive Owen
75
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:25,370
Ugf...Clive...good
name for a film star
76
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:30,480
If we must have a tyrant, let him at
least be a gentleman bred to the business,
77
00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:35,760
and let us fall by the axe,
and not by the butcher's cleaver
78
00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:39,160
Greg seems good in it
79
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:40,920
It'll be a bit part
80
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,300
I'm joined by Clive Owen and Greg
Lindley jones, the two leads in the film
81
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:45,630
He's one of the leads
82
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,430
in a terrible film
83
00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:50,030
I thought the film was brilliant
84
00:05:50,060 --> 00:05:52,570
He thought it was
brilliant Oh, I can hear?
85
00:05:56,130 --> 00:06:02,870
Greg, you play Shelly. And I have to say,
it's one of the most exciting performances
I think I've ever seen
86
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,380
How was it for you working with such
a established star as Clive Owen?
87
00:06:06,510 --> 00:06:10,940
Let me say, he is such a down
to earth guy, he's just so real
88
00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:14,280
We had a good time
I had a great time
89
00:06:14,390 --> 00:06:15,920
I know a lot of people are saying that
but we really really did get along well
90
00:06:17,020 --> 00:06:19,350
I can't believe you persuaded
me to do these things,
91
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,730
they're not even selling apparently
cause they're embarassing...
92
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,360
loads are lying around in
bargain bins for ages. Cheap tat
93
00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:27,860
Well yeah but they cut the
prices to try and shift a few
94
00:06:27,940 --> 00:06:31,630
but the good thing is that because they're so
cheap to manufacture, we still get about
40p a time...
95
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:32,920
cause they're made in sweat shops.
96
00:06:33,550 --> 00:06:35,690
Oh, thanks god for the exploitation
of 10 years old children
97
00:06:35,750 --> 00:06:38,890
Absolutly. And the funny thing is of course
that your key demographic as well is in the kids
98
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,430
so even if they doing like a 14 hours a
day, it's probably living a hell of a time
99
00:06:41,470 --> 00:06:44,520
you know, pressing "You having a laugh?".
They're probably enjoying themselves
'cause it's nice
100
00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:44,820
I hope it doesn't distract them from
their work, they would get a beating
101
00:06:45,390 --> 00:06:46,490
I don't wanna hear, I
don't wanna hear this
102
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,200
Don't listen to him, they wouldn't
work there if they didn't like it
103
00:06:48,590 --> 00:06:49,830
I don't think they got a
lot of choice, to be honest
104
00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:56,580
As Henri Matisse once said: "The right happiness
in oneself from a good day of work for
illuminating the fog that surrounds us"
105
00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:58,440
Oh yeah? What are
you working on today?
106
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:00,490
I'm trying to get this dog muck
out of a shoe, it's a nightmare
107
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:03,060
Next door is Great Dane,
the steinch is unbelievable
108
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:05,990
I've seen him feeding eggs, oil
boiled eggs, to a dog, it's mad
109
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:09,430
Really, I don't care I don't want to
be associated with this sort of staff
110
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,080
To the general public, there is no
difference between me and that doll
111
00:07:12,540 --> 00:07:15,180
What? Little fat ugly thing?
Pathethic? No? No, I put on...
112
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:17,970
I'll put on a wig and
shot a catch phrase
113
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,750
I want to be associated
with credible stuff
114
00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:24,590
Oh, yeah, we've had offers. Part in
the BBC's jewell in the crown, Dr Who
115
00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:26,180
no
116
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,190
Hotel Babylon?
117
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,460
No, I don't want to
do...camp, frothy nonsense
118
00:07:31,740 --> 00:07:33,000
I want to do something classy
119
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:34,850
Celebrity Big Brother've
been on the phone
120
00:07:35,110 --> 00:07:37,030
You're not listening? It's good
money... Not in a million years
121
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:38,950
Whar about films?
What happen to films?
122
00:07:39,230 --> 00:07:42,510
We did have a call. Have you heard about
this Byron film that everyone is raving about?
123
00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:45,890
Yeah Well, they making a sequel,
should be classy, should be good
124
00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:48,740
It's about what it's mean to be a man,
it's about honor, it's about integrity
125
00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:50,620
They wanted you to go
into an audition Right
126
00:07:50,930 --> 00:07:51,930
Obviously I said no
127
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,480
What do you mean you said no?
128
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:57,420
Well they were asking for someone who was
either 36, handsome, dashing and I presumed
they had to be taller than you.
129
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,340
So I thought it was safe...
Always do the audition
130
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:01,310
Look at you, that's insane,
I might as well send Barry
131
00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:05,110
Call them back and say you have
the perfect person for the part Who?
132
00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:07,020
Me! No, I don't want
to waste their time
133
00:08:07,710 --> 00:08:11,300
Why should I have to persuade my agent to get me
an audition? It should be the other way around
134
00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:13,880
If I send you, they'll think
I don't know what I'm doing
135
00:08:14,150 --> 00:08:17,650
Oh, no one could thinks you don't know what
you're doing. You're a total waste of space and
shouldn't even be in the industry
136
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,240
Well thanks, maybe you'll be surprised
137
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,170
Get me the audition
138
00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:30,120
Okay, that's a ten minutes break
everyone, sandwiches are over here
139
00:08:33,070 --> 00:08:36,630
Could you just let the actors and
the crew have theirs first, please
140
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,030
Can you hold on?
141
00:09:34,430 --> 00:09:35,630
Are you Maggie?
-Yes
142
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,120
Andy wants to see you
in his dressing room
143
00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:39,980
What, now?
-Yeah
144
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:41,160
Chop chop
145
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:57,200
Oh, hello mrs Millman, is Andy in?
146
00:09:57,220 --> 00:09:59,730
It's a face pack, don't laugh at me now.
- What is this for?
147
00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:02,900
For a film For a film, it comes for a film?
148
00:10:03,340 --> 00:10:05,480
Help me out, don't comment
149
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,640
Is that a girdle?
150
00:10:07,730 --> 00:10:11,130
No, it just helps firm up the...
151
00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:13,120
Flab?
- Right, come on in, quick
152
00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:16,100
Are you serious? Oh my god...
- Yeah, come on
153
00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:19,760
That's not gonna work Jesus Christ,
- of course it is
154
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,680
I don't hear you laugh, don't hear you laugh
155
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:32,370
Now go on in. - Oh I'm going
right on. - Where do your organs go?
156
00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:37,540
Do they just get closer together or am I
gonna cough up a kidney in the audition?
157
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,810
Andrew Millman
You looking good
158
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,780
Been working out, ain't it?
159
00:10:50,860 --> 00:10:55,600
I'm sorry, I must declare an interest.
Actually me and Andy are very old friends, we...
160
00:10:55,850 --> 00:10:58,630
we've been climbing the
slippery showbiz ladder together
161
00:10:59,980 --> 00:11:02,730
Some of us, got a little
further than others...
162
00:11:04,410 --> 00:11:06,650
Anyway, I won't be biased
163
00:11:06,830 --> 00:11:09,210
So, which role are we all
here for? Henri Milligan
164
00:11:09,410 --> 00:11:12,970
Hang on Copy, Henri
Milligan says here age 36...
165
00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:17,060
Yeah, I took that as meaning
he's in his late thirties
166
00:11:18,150 --> 00:11:19,420
We'll change it to late thirties
167
00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:24,470
Hang on, Henri Milligan
says here late thirties...
168
00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:29,090
Should we do one?
Yeah
169
00:11:29,190 --> 00:11:32,400
Do you want to stand up?
Yes, easy
170
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,720
Ah, Henri Milligan, allow
me to introduce myself
171
00:11:39,790 --> 00:11:43,150
Your reputation preceed you
sir, and it's one...the...
172
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:48,440
Sorry, sorry, can we stop proceeding. Something
seems to have happened to Andy's midriff
173
00:11:48,550 --> 00:11:53,090
Can we just rewind that and see what happened?
I don't know if everyone else saw that?
174
00:11:56,350 --> 00:12:01,520
Hey, it's his belly. Andy, did
your diaphragm just collapsed?
175
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,660
Andy seems to have scuttled off...
176
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:11,520
Allo it's me, leave a message after the tone
and i'll get back to you. Did that record?
177
00:12:12,930 --> 00:12:19,700
I, it's me, do you fancy some lunch, at the Ivy,
half 8. I can tell you all about my
brilliant audition
178
00:12:19,890 --> 00:12:23,840
Alright, give us a call back.
Cheers, bye
179
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,830
Andy Millman
180
00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:28,450
Alright Bunny? What are you doing?
181
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:29,930
waiting...
182
00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:34,230
waiting...for what?
Cock!
183
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:35,640
never too early for that, is it?
184
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:37,410
Don't you know about this area?
185
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:38,920
No, I just moved in
186
00:12:39,140 --> 00:12:42,280
This area is famous for
it, I'm here all the time
187
00:12:42,580 --> 00:12:45,050
This is known as the waiting bench
188
00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:49,300
Oh, by the way, loving the show
189
00:12:49,430 --> 00:12:49,910
cheers
190
00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:52,530
You having a laugh?
191
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,970
Keep walking, keep walking!
192
00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:58,920
She'll never get
anything in the daylight
193
00:12:59,380 --> 00:13:02,560
Allright Bunny?
Alright George
194
00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:07,870
any action?
195
00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:11,200
I only got 20 minutes
actually, I'm on my lunch break
196
00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:12,680
lunch break?
197
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,570
Yeah, I'm doing community service.
- Are you still doing that?
198
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,050
Oh no, not that one, I'm doing
another one I'm picking up litter now
199
00:13:20,340 --> 00:13:22,800
Alright...What did
you do wrong this time?
200
00:13:23,110 --> 00:13:24,960
Fly tipping...believe it or not
201
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:29,500
Yeah, I was helping Anny Lenox
out with an old fridge freezer
202
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,870
and she says: "Should
I call the council?"
203
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,560
ans I say: "No, don't bother with that,
there's a skip at the end of my street"
204
00:13:35,450 --> 00:13:40,470
So, at 2h30 in the morning, we're tipping
it in here and the fucking police show up
205
00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:42,190
How is that you get involve then?
206
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:46,450
Well, it was Stuart Copland's
the skip and he called Sting
207
00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:50,310
and Sting called the fucking council
cause he's a fucking do-gooder
208
00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:53,190
And I am here now,
picking up litter
209
00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:56,960
Well, I'll better get going cause
I'm gonna have to go back to work soon
210
00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:58,740
Come on then you,
I'll give you a quickie
211
00:13:58,940 --> 00:14:02,430
I'm not that desperate Maty
- Cheecky bastard
212
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:06,910
Would you do me a favor and look out for
paparazzis, I'm gonna go and try over there
213
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,070
I'd love to
-Cheers
214
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:13,460
I've had him before,
you know...in his car
215
00:14:15,050 --> 00:14:15,940
Wasn't that a bit cramped?
216
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,110
and he was swerving
all over the bloody road
217
00:14:19,220 --> 00:14:21,120
Look, keep an eye over
these will, will you?
218
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,540
That old queer cannot
have got to far...
219
00:14:24,050 --> 00:14:24,850
hellooo
220
00:14:25,420 --> 00:14:27,680
Andy Millman... What? I don't
know what this bench is for
221
00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:29,830
What did you say? Why
are you sitting here?
222
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:34,340
Cause we live across the road
and just fancy to sit down
223
00:14:34,570 --> 00:14:37,730
Well, you've got a garden, ain't you,
why not sit in your garden? -No bench.
224
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:42,920
- If you want to sit in the garden, fine,
but you'll be sitting on the grass...
- Yeah, but why you sitting on the queer bench?
225
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,660
Have you seen George
Michael? Strange question
226
00:14:48,110 --> 00:14:54,890
My editor wants a picture of someone famous
acting bent and all I've got is you sitting on a
queer bench, so...
227
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,980
- I'm not involved, so don't... - I know
you're lying cos I know he's been here
228
00:14:58,170 --> 00:15:03,360
- How do you know?
- A joint... and a kebab
229
00:15:15,670 --> 00:15:18,120
- He's in the bushes.
- Thank you very much.
230
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:44,830
Thank you very much, cheers.
231
00:15:47,850 --> 00:15:50,410
Hi, we haven't booked I wonder
if you've got a table for two
232
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:54,770
Well, you'll have to book, I'm afraid
-Can you just squeeze us in?
233
00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:57,730
We won't have a starter
I'm sorry, there's nothing
234
00:15:58,030 --> 00:16:00,550
Or a pudding We'll be
20 minutes, in and out
235
00:16:00,780 --> 00:16:01,680
I'm sorry
236
00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:06,570
You don't...euh...we're
the management
237
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:11,880
No, I am the manager. - No, on TV, we used to
do these characters called "The Management"
238
00:16:12,530 --> 00:16:15,460
The stonk. - Oh, the Stonk.
Is that a restaurant?
239
00:16:16,210 --> 00:16:18,920
No, it's a song we did
240
00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:23,360
I'm really sorry, there's nothing available
but you can book up to three months in advance
241
00:16:23,660 --> 00:16:28,180
We don't know where we're gonna be in three
months.- Might not be alive in three months
242
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:33,450
What would you rather do? Be on the Planet
Of The Apes, you're human but you can't speak
243
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:37,890
or be the first ever monkey on Earth to
speak like a human, but you're a monkey?
244
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,070
Do I know I'm a monkey?
Yeah, You know you're a monkey
245
00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:44,570
Mr Millman, hello Sorry, we haven't booked, I'm
afraid No problem, I'm sure I can squeeze you in
246
00:16:45,020 --> 00:16:49,780
0h, look, it's them two, what's their
names again? Hale and Pace. Hale. Pace.
247
00:16:49,970 --> 00:16:52,850
Like Ant and Dec?
Without their money
248
00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:57,460
They just throw money at performers
now Should have invested more wisely
249
00:16:57,610 --> 00:17:01,540
Can we not do this in public? I asked you
before It was your idea to buy the racehorse
250
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:05,810
It was your idea to ride it, wasn't it?
You couldn't help us get in, could you?
251
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:14,380
I don't think there is... It
was nice meeting you - Cheers
252
00:17:15,590 --> 00:17:20,900
Oh, look, there's... what's her
name... - Jade Jagger. - That's it
253
00:17:21,260 --> 00:17:24,140
What is she doing?
Fashion...someone
254
00:17:24,470 --> 00:17:29,150
Jade Jagger...How do you
think she got her big break?
255
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:34,400
I wonder. - And what
does Sadie Frost do?
256
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:39,080
She's friend with people I didn't
know that was a job It's, yeah
257
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:47,200
Oh, oh, right, OK, don't look, don't look yet,
right, the woman over there, an amazing face
258
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:52,530
OK? Red top, I want you to turn and
look at her and I'll say her name, Ok?
259
00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:54,170
Three, two, one, Elmer Fudd
260
00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:58,390
That's the only woman I've
ever seen with a comb-over
261
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:03,550
Hi, I'm sorry to bother you, my name's
Tre Cooper, I represent Greg Lindley Jones
262
00:18:03,690 --> 00:18:07,430
You went in yesterday for Byron, didn't
you? -Yeah, I wasn't right for that
263
00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:13,110
No, you don't think you were right for that one
but there are a lot of film people out there
mentioning your name and a lot of roles
I think you would be right for
264
00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:16,650
Yeah, I also heard you're not
entirely happy with your show
265
00:18:16,770 --> 00:18:18,120
It's not how I wanted it to be
266
00:18:18,190 --> 00:18:21,050
Really? - No - You see, I think you
should be on the top of the world
267
00:18:21,210 --> 00:18:24,360
What does it get each week?
Seven million viewers? - Six. - Six.
268
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:30,160
Seven million viewers watch your show every week
because they respond to what you do
and the reviews...
269
00:18:30,660 --> 00:18:35,160
I don't listen to the reviews No-one's down the
pub talking about reviews, they're talking about
your sitcom
270
00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:39,160
And you know what? there'll always gonna be
people who don't like what you do. 0h, yeah
271
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:44,040
So what? If someone shouts "You're a wanker"
you go, "Oh Yeah, look at my sports car"
272
00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:49,800
If they shout, "You're still a tosser!" say,
"Really, interesting, How many catchphrases
have you come up with?"
273
00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:50,490
None
274
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:53,720
And if they're still shouting
at just you, just drive away
275
00:18:53,830 --> 00:18:56,140
I would drive to the bank, laughing
276
00:18:56,310 --> 00:18:58,520
Who's your agent? Darren Lamb
277
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:00,070
I'm not being funny, but I've never heard of
him and I've been in this business 15 years
278
00:19:00,070 --> 00:19:02,080
Where did he come from?
-Bristol
279
00:19:02,690 --> 00:19:05,230
No, which company did he start with? I
don't think he ever worked for a company
280
00:19:05,330 --> 00:19:08,090
He has, he worked part time
at the carphone warehouse
281
00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:11,620
Look, I don't know the guy..
- Why would you, you're in the business?
282
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:15,840
I don't want to disrespect
him, but business is business
283
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:19,610
and if there's any deadwood in your
organisation, you have got to get rid of it
284
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:25,040
It may seem harsh but life's cruel and
noone's gonna help your career but you
285
00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:30,720
I'm an extra, and I love Clive Owen,
can I get a part in that Byron film?
286
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,350
That's alright, she's
asking. Well done
287
00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:37,650
Consider it done. My card
288
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,810
And seriously, if l can be of
any help, call me, we'll sit down
289
00:19:41,330 --> 00:19:43,020
Sorry for interrupting
your meal It's all right
290
00:19:43,190 --> 00:19:47,100
0h, catch of the day, Dover sole,
it is superb Have a great lunch.
291
00:19:47,340 --> 00:19:48,230
Cheers
292
00:19:49,150 --> 00:19:54,050
Oh, Elmer's looking
over Oh, hello, hi ya
293
00:19:54,380 --> 00:19:57,490
I recommend the wabbit,
I mean the rabbit
294
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,040
She doesn't know, does she?
295
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:02,440
How the hell did you do that?
296
00:20:02,530 --> 00:20:04,670
I don't know, they get
stuck, don't they? That is...
297
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:09,340
That's stuck fast, if I... that's
gonna break... Well, don't break it
298
00:20:09,620 --> 00:20:11,950
I'll put it up over your
head, yeah Are you ready?
299
00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:14,550
You just pull back, right? Ok, go!
300
00:20:15,470 --> 00:20:18,970
Just pull, Darren What
about my head, brainiac!
301
00:20:19,030 --> 00:20:22,980
How is that... just pull back I can't help
you if you don't pull back. I am pulling back
302
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,980
What exactly is your plan?
303
00:20:26,380 --> 00:20:30,220
What are you actually intending
to do now? Just you pull back
304
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:36,110
Did you learn nothing in the fame academy,
all right? Power is not everything,
you just need to be subtle.
305
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,630
Don't sing everything like
it's bloody Mustang Sally
306
00:20:44,930 --> 00:20:49,170
OK, Clive... You, over here, please
307
00:20:49,710 --> 00:20:50,890
Quickly, quick sharp, yep, yep
308
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:53,760
OK, so Byron's just spent the
night with a prostitute. All right
309
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:57,380
As he leaves in the morning,
I thought he could just turn,
310
00:20:57,430 --> 00:20:59,480
and then throw the money
on the floor with contempt
311
00:20:59,820 --> 00:21:02,070
and then say your line, "Thank
you for your hospitality"
312
00:21:02,210 --> 00:21:06,370
Yeah, I'm not very happy with this.
I know it's a bit aggressive,
but it's just a character point.
313
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:08,660
No, I mean this one
been a prostitute
314
00:21:09,990 --> 00:21:10,850
I wouldn't pay for that
315
00:21:13,290 --> 00:21:15,200
Right... It's gotta be
a better one than this
316
00:21:15,810 --> 00:21:20,750
Clive, seriously, they sent me a truckload
of absolute hogs and this is the very best one
317
00:21:21,220 --> 00:21:22,860
Really? Yeah Jesus...
318
00:21:25,390 --> 00:21:30,050
I don't want to be difficult, it's just that I
would never pay for a prostitute that
looked like that
319
00:21:30,130 --> 00:21:31,070
No way Right...
320
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,720
What if she wasn't a prostitute, if
she was just a slut, so it was free?
321
00:21:35,230 --> 00:21:37,120
Yeah, I still could
do better, though
322
00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:39,640
OK, what if she is a prostitute,
but you refuse to pay?
323
00:21:40,150 --> 00:21:42,490
OK, so you don't throw money on
the floor, you just...throw food
324
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,570
and you make her eat it like a dog
325
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:48,360
Well, I'm telling you. If I'd slept with that I
wouldn't throw food on the floor,
I'd throw it in her face
326
00:21:48,990 --> 00:21:51,030
OK, what food would you throw? Cause
I've got to get props on to that
327
00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:55,170
It should be some kind of gruel as if
I've found some oats on the stable floor,
328
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,250
mix it with shit
and like, wet cabbage
329
00:21:59,070 --> 00:22:01,850
What would be great is like
when it claps into her face
330
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,270
it just sort of looks
like a rancid cowpat. OK
331
00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:10,080
No, I like that, I like that... Can we get
the shit and the dung and the cabbage together
332
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,390
Make sure it sticks to the face... It
will. OK, let's try that then, please
333
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,470
OK, for rehearsal then... Excuse me
334
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,120
I'm not happy with that
335
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:21,690
Sorry?
336
00:22:22,630 --> 00:22:25,770
I'm not happy with that. I
don't want the dung on my face
337
00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:28,620
You get extra money, don't you
worry about that. Don't care.
338
00:22:28,830 --> 00:22:34,150
Not bothered, I just don't want to do it,
full stop. - Right, OK, you either do it,
or you go home
339
00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:41,640
Ok... Ok, right
340
00:22:41,730 --> 00:22:42,490
See you then
341
00:22:44,580 --> 00:22:47,150
Honestly, I mean, you
give these people a chance
342
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,150
Got to get another on
OK, you, over here, please
343
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:54,460
Oh, fuck off, I'm Clive
Owen That's mental!
344
00:23:17,390 --> 00:23:22,790
Frankly, the BBC are taking the proverbial.
Seriously, the money you're getting for
the show is an insult.
345
00:23:23,090 --> 00:23:26,020
I'm gonna get tough with them and we'll
get this sorted for the next series
346
00:23:26,140 --> 00:23:30,070
I don't think I want to do another series. I've
been thinking of knocking this on the head...
347
00:23:30,130 --> 00:23:32,760
With the right management behind
you, there's a lot of money to be made
348
00:23:32,770 --> 00:23:36,100
I don't care. I'm not proud.
I want to do bigger and better
349
00:23:36,130 --> 00:23:39,980
I'm not proud of having Britain's no1
catchphrase. Is there an Oscar for that? No
350
00:23:40,100 --> 00:23:42,810
No, but they are thinking of
introducing a British Comedy Award for it
351
00:23:43,460 --> 00:23:45,940
Look, I want to hold my head up
352
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:51,450
To me, saying you've got Britain's no1
catchphrase is like saying you've got
Britain's no1 wasting disease
353
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,240
You're not Britain's no1
catchphrase any more. I'm not?
354
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,340
You're not no1 anymore
355
00:24:00,180 --> 00:24:03,750
Good. To be
totally...Who's number one?
356
00:24:03,940 --> 00:24:06,660
0h, it's..."Am I bowered?"
357
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,380
What am I, no2 or something? No. no2
is, "You are the weakest link, goodbye."
358
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,380
Then no3 is "You're
having a laugh?"
359
00:24:12,450 --> 00:24:13,880
In at no3, it changes depending
on what survey you are doing
360
00:24:14,490 --> 00:24:15,600
What survey is that?
361
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,710
It's a survey of 8 to 11 year olds
362
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,950
Well, if they want catchphrases
I'll give 'em catchphrases
363
00:24:21,950 --> 00:24:23,620
I don't get it.
364
00:24:24,260 --> 00:24:25,490
Is he having a laugh?
365
00:24:26,130 --> 00:24:27,360
I need a man!
366
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,050
Join the queue
367
00:24:30,570 --> 00:24:31,940
Oh, bugger me!
368
00:24:33,110 --> 00:24:34,190
He's out and about!
369
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,990
Christmas time,
mistletoe and wine...
370
00:24:43,570 --> 00:24:49,240
Children singing christian rhyme, with
logs on the fire, gifts 'neath the tree...
371
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,130
Any messages mate?
372
00:24:51,510 --> 00:24:54,010
Yeah, a couple. BT called
What, British Telecom? Oh, yeah
373
00:24:54,450 --> 00:24:56,430
What were they after? They wanted to
know if you were happy with the service
374
00:24:56,790 --> 00:24:58,050
Very happy as well as very pleased
375
00:24:58,250 --> 00:25:00,120
That's what I told them cause I thought you
were happy, but they wanted to talk to
you specifically
376
00:25:00,350 --> 00:25:01,540
They would do cause
my name's on the bill
377
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,250
Yes it is, and apparently you could
have free evening and weekend calls
378
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,670
Oh, really, that's very generous of them,
very nice, yeah Do they want me to call back?
379
00:25:06,980 --> 00:25:08,160
No, they said they'll call back
380
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,800
I don't mind calling them. I said you'd be back
about two, It's ten to now so just wait for
them to call
381
00:25:12,230 --> 00:25:14,650
I'll wait until just after two, if
they haven't called, give them a bell
382
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:15,790
yeah
383
00:25:16,210 --> 00:25:17,340
It's an 0800 number,
so...free It's free
384
00:25:17,590 --> 00:25:18,720
Anything else, any other...
385
00:25:19,010 --> 00:25:20,370
Yes, Andy new agent called
386
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,760
Andy's fired you and gone with a new bloke so
you're no longer to have any dealings with
him whatsoever
387
00:25:26,210 --> 00:25:28,400
Sorry, I was thinking about free evening
and weekend calls What were you saying?
388
00:25:28,730 --> 00:25:30,080
Andy Millman, he's fired you
389
00:25:31,250 --> 00:25:32,250
What do you mean he's fired me?
390
00:25:32,580 --> 00:25:34,290
Well, you no longer Andy
Millman's agent, so...
391
00:25:34,530 --> 00:25:36,710
Why are you telling me this now? Why
did you tell me the BT stuff first?
392
00:25:37,090 --> 00:25:38,410
Because I'm doing it
in chronological order
393
00:25:38,790 --> 00:25:40,730
I was excited about the
BT stuff, now I'm depressed
394
00:25:41,090 --> 00:25:45,660
I didn't know that if I'd said, number one,
Andy's fired you and number two, BT has
offered you a generous new tariff,
395
00:25:45,990 --> 00:25:48,620
the good news would have been soured by
the bad news anyway I didn't know what
to do for the best
396
00:25:52,070 --> 00:25:53,200
He's fired me?
397
00:25:59,690 --> 00:26:01,150
Let me ask you this...
398
00:26:01,490 --> 00:26:02,780
Where do you want to
be in 5 years of time?
399
00:26:03,630 --> 00:26:05,670
Sat in a Hollywood mansion
watching my butler polish my Oscar
400
00:26:07,750 --> 00:26:09,600
It's good, thinking big,
nothing wrong with that
401
00:26:10,470 --> 00:26:14,180
But first things first, what I'll need
you to concentrate on is... Excuse me
402
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,060
Yeah Richard Curtis for you
403
00:26:16,810 --> 00:26:19,340
Does he wanna talk about
Africa again? I think so
404
00:26:20,170 --> 00:26:22,270
Tell him to donate the profits
from the Vicar 0f Dibley
405
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,170
They'll be eating
like Dawn in no time
406
00:26:25,050 --> 00:26:26,280
harsh... life's cruel
407
00:26:26,610 --> 00:26:29,410
Er, listen, tell him you can't get hold
of me, tell him I'm snowboarding Okay
408
00:26:30,220 --> 00:26:31,180
Sorry about that
409
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,370
Profile, you need
to boost your profile
410
00:26:33,670 --> 00:26:35,470
Success is all about
getting your face seen Yeah
411
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:39,130
Truth is, at the moment, Andy, you're kind
of...you're C-list...top of the C-list, but
412
00:26:39,500 --> 00:26:41,170
I'm gonna get you
on top of the A-list
413
00:26:41,470 --> 00:26:43,440
I can't snap my fingers
and do that overnight
414
00:26:43,700 --> 00:26:44,990
You need to win an
Emmy or direct something
415
00:26:45,260 --> 00:26:47,140
but we can get you to the top
of the B-list pretty quickly
416
00:26:47,370 --> 00:26:48,660
just by making sure
you're seen out and about
417
00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:51,300
movie premieres, celebrity gay
weddings, stuff like that...
418
00:26:51,620 --> 00:26:53,380
You're single aren't you? Yeah Good
419
00:26:54,020 --> 00:26:58,320
Good, so firstly what we want you to do is be
seen coming out of clubs and restaurants with
some newsworthy trollops
420
00:26:58,670 --> 00:27:01,260
You shagged any of
those tabloid beauties?
421
00:27:05,450 --> 00:27:06,210
no
422
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:07,890
Not even that?
423
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:08,910
no
424
00:27:09,140 --> 00:27:09,940
Isn't everyone?
425
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:11,680
Not me What've you been doing?
426
00:27:11,950 --> 00:27:14,160
I know she's got a cancellation next
Friday so we'll set something up for then
427
00:27:14,410 --> 00:27:16,270
No, no, I'm not into that. I
don't want to do it that way
428
00:27:16,650 --> 00:27:19,260
Do you want to get on the B-list or
not? Yes, but not the Hepatitis B list
429
00:27:20,970 --> 00:27:23,930
Right, OK, no, that's not a problem,
I've got some contacts at the broadsheets
430
00:27:24,890 --> 00:27:25,550
right
431
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,690
Paula, can you get me Emily
Whitford at The Guardian, please Yep
432
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,010
So what do you do?
433
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:02,900
I was a film extra
-Oh, glamorous
434
00:28:03,190 --> 00:28:06,180
It's not really, I'm not doing
it anymore, it's too depressing
435
00:28:06,820 --> 00:28:11,850
I'm too old to be right at the bottom of the
pile being told what to do, scrabbling about
in the dirt for a few quid an hour.
436
00:28:12,790 --> 00:28:13,580
What do you do now?
437
00:28:14,370 --> 00:28:15,070
I'm a cleaner
438
00:28:16,540 --> 00:28:18,540
I scrabble around in the
dirt for a few quid an hour
439
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:24,060
Ok, so...here is the place
440
00:28:26,090 --> 00:28:27,430
here we go
441
00:28:48,150 --> 00:28:48,770
carpets...
442
00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:56,560
Spider? Yep, that won't
be bothering you any more
443
00:28:57,290 --> 00:28:57,550
no
444
00:28:59,310 --> 00:29:00,250
You just gonna leave it there?
445
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:01,220
If you want...
446
00:29:02,140 --> 00:29:03,780
No, I don't want it particularly
447
00:29:03,830 --> 00:29:07,140
Fine, that'll all be
professionally cleaned. Scraped off
448
00:29:09,230 --> 00:29:09,950
Where is the bedroom?
449
00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:12,110
No, it's all in here
450
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:13,450
What, this is it?
451
00:29:14,450 --> 00:29:16,050
Tiny little kitchen over here
452
00:29:16,570 --> 00:29:19,120
and...there is a lavatory
453
00:29:19,310 --> 00:29:22,170
It's everything you need, you'll
never have to leave this place
454
00:29:22,210 --> 00:29:23,610
If the worst comes to the worst
455
00:29:23,650 --> 00:29:27,070
if you were bedridden with a spinal
injury or something, heaven forbid
456
00:29:27,490 --> 00:29:29,850
Then it's all here,
should that happen
457
00:29:30,620 --> 00:29:31,510
Where do I sleep?
458
00:29:39,830 --> 00:29:42,170
Look at that...That's
good, isn't it?
459
00:29:42,230 --> 00:29:44,460
That's like James Bond or something
460
00:29:44,830 --> 00:29:45,550
From Russia with love
461
00:29:46,180 --> 00:29:48,420
Live And Let Die
462
00:29:48,790 --> 00:29:51,240
I can't put anything
underneath that, can I?
463
00:29:51,290 --> 00:29:54,150
Yeah, of course you can, coffee table or
what not just move it before you go to bed
464
00:29:54,220 --> 00:29:55,120
What, every single night?
465
00:29:55,310 --> 00:29:58,340
A chimpanzee makes a nest every night in
a tree or whatever and he doesn't complain
466
00:29:59,420 --> 00:29:59,750
no
467
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:02,560
I hadn't planned to
live like a chimpanzee
468
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:07,060
Well, this is the only place in your
price range really, so... I know, I know
469
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:09,870
What's the area like then?
470
00:30:11,060 --> 00:30:13,040
Okay, I'm gonna be honnest with you
471
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,560
Theres is quite a large
black and asian community,
472
00:30:15,630 --> 00:30:19,110
there's some chinese and it does get
very Araby towards the high street
473
00:30:19,170 --> 00:30:20,740
but there is nothing
we can do about it
474
00:30:20,790 --> 00:30:24,420
No, I mean, what it is like in term of
the amenities, is there a supermarket?
475
00:30:24,490 --> 00:30:28,490
Oh, yeah, yeah a supermarket...Yes, there is
a lot of lovely different shops around here
476
00:30:28,810 --> 00:30:32,840
It's a very cosmopolitan area for food,
i mean do you like chinese food? Yes
477
00:30:33,130 --> 00:30:33,980
Asian food?
478
00:30:34,260 --> 00:30:35,560
Good for Halal meats
479
00:30:35,950 --> 00:30:37,890
Do you like jerk chicken,
just like momma used to make?
480
00:30:38,650 --> 00:30:40,150
There is one of those...euh...
481
00:30:40,940 --> 00:30:43,190
I bet you can probably
see it from the window
482
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:45,920
Yep
483
00:30:46,170 --> 00:30:47,410
There it is
484
00:30:58,650 --> 00:30:59,830
Where have you been,
we said 3 o'clock
485
00:31:00,090 --> 00:31:02,590
Sorry, I've been looking out for
flats, I'm gonna have to downsize
486
00:31:02,870 --> 00:31:06,580
Tell me later. I'm about to do an interview,
in a first session, the Weekend Guardian,
really good publicity
487
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,050
sort ofthe 'man behind the
silly wig' and all that Woo
488
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:11,490
When she gets here, you open
the door for me 0h, no, why me?
489
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:12,950
Say you're my P.A.
490
00:31:13,260 --> 00:31:15,450
Oh, no Yeah, give the illusion of
life of success and everything, right?
491
00:31:15,740 --> 00:31:19,760
Then when we're in there, come in and go
"Oh, Andy, sorry, Ridley Scott's on the phone"
492
00:31:20,290 --> 00:31:21,730
Who? Ridley Scott
493
00:31:22,010 --> 00:31:24,890
Who is that then? Oscar-winning
director...Gladiator, Blade Runner
494
00:31:25,130 --> 00:31:26,520
Is he gonna call?
495
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,150
He's not really gonna call
496
00:31:28,450 --> 00:31:29,730
No? You say he's on the phone
497
00:31:30,130 --> 00:31:32,540
And then, she'll think
I'm a...player Ohh
498
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:34,370
That's her, alright, okay...
499
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:37,880
Answer the door and just look a
bit secretarial. Do something...
500
00:31:43,890 --> 00:31:44,660
hello
501
00:31:45,100 --> 00:31:47,790
hi would you like to come this way
502
00:31:48,070 --> 00:31:48,920
Andy
503
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:50,210
Hi
504
00:31:57,700 --> 00:31:58,670
Thank you, Mr Millman
505
00:32:00,660 --> 00:32:03,280
Thanks for doing this My absolute
pleasure, welcome to my humble abode
506
00:32:05,190 --> 00:32:06,620
You don't talk like
I thought you would
507
00:32:06,850 --> 00:32:08,970
You've seen me in character,
there's much more than silly wigs
508
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:10,830
No, I've seen you on chat
shows, you didn't speak like that
509
00:32:11,350 --> 00:32:14,320
No, but there is Andy Millman the writer,
Andy Millman the actor, Andy Millman
the charity worker...
510
00:32:15,030 --> 00:32:16,790
And who was that?
Slash this slash that...
511
00:32:17,190 --> 00:32:18,120
That's how I thought you talked
512
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:20,270
How do you want me to talk?
513
00:32:21,060 --> 00:32:23,240
Just normal like you're
at home I'm at home
514
00:32:23,990 --> 00:32:25,450
Just speak like that
then Can we tone it down?
515
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,730
So, you mentioned your charity work.
What charity are you involved with?
516
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:32,390
Africa
517
00:32:33,260 --> 00:32:34,900
The main one that
people care about, innit?
518
00:32:35,490 --> 00:32:37,910
You're not going to release an awful
comedy single, are you, for charity,
519
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,410
so you can get in the charts
and boost your profile?
520
00:32:40,730 --> 00:32:41,830
Not just so I can
boost my profile, no
521
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,540
But you are releasing
a comedy single?
522
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,850
Well, no, it's me as Ray,
doing a cover of Nine To Five,
523
00:32:47,430 --> 00:32:50,730
and it's a fun video, cos we've
got loads of sort of celebs in it
524
00:32:51,170 --> 00:32:55,120
We've got Craig Charles,
Sam Fox, jade Goody's mum
525
00:32:55,620 --> 00:32:56,320
god
526
00:32:56,930 --> 00:32:57,970
Bunch of saddos
527
00:32:58,270 --> 00:33:00,950
Well, the good ones didn't want to do it, did
they? We had to use lookalikes for some of them
528
00:33:01,450 --> 00:33:02,800
They will be sorry, though
529
00:33:03,610 --> 00:33:05,020
when it gets number one
And we'll get number one
530
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,360
so let's not slag it off before
it's saved some Ethiopians
531
00:33:11,170 --> 00:33:12,650
You in a hurry?
532
00:33:12,980 --> 00:33:14,660
0h, no, no, sorry, I've got
another interview to get to
533
00:33:15,610 --> 00:33:17,640
I'm a little nervous
actually Why, for meeting me?
534
00:33:17,930 --> 00:33:20,810
No, god no. Have you
seen the Byron film? Yeah
535
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:22,770
I'm interviewing Greg Lindley jones
536
00:33:23,090 --> 00:33:24,240
Why are you nervous
about meeting him?
537
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:28,290
He's got such a sort of brooding
intensity, he's like a young Richard Burn
538
00:33:28,730 --> 00:33:31,310
Young Richard Simon more like
539
00:33:31,610 --> 00:33:33,020
Well, I'm not slagging
him off but let's not...
540
00:33:33,670 --> 00:33:35,530
Mr Millman, the phone
call has just come in
541
00:33:35,980 --> 00:33:36,900
Oh, who is it?
542
00:33:37,540 --> 00:33:38,570
Is it Wiggly Scott?
543
00:33:38,990 --> 00:33:41,670
Ridley Scott, yeah. The award winning
director of Gladiator and Blade Runner
544
00:33:42,940 --> 00:33:45,240
What does he want?
Cheers. Sorry about this
545
00:33:47,100 --> 00:33:49,670
Hey, Ridley, I can't talk now, I'm
out with a journal. Say hello from me.
546
00:33:50,410 --> 00:33:51,440
what?
547
00:33:51,660 --> 00:33:53,770
We know each other from Cannes.
Say hello from me. Emily Whitford
548
00:33:55,940 --> 00:33:56,980
Emily Whitford
549
00:33:57,900 --> 00:33:59,070
What's he say? Nothing
550
00:33:59,610 --> 00:34:01,540
Ask him how is ankle
is. He'll laugh Will he?
551
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:04,420
How's your ankle?
552
00:34:05,820 --> 00:34:07,250
Is he laughing?
553
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:08,770
sort of
554
00:34:09,250 --> 00:34:10,340
Let me speak to him What?
555
00:34:10,630 --> 00:34:12,150
Let her speak to him
Let me speak to him
556
00:34:12,490 --> 00:34:14,230
Hold on, All right
557
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:19,850
Oh, what's he done? Hung up?
558
00:34:20,430 --> 00:34:22,380
Why is he done that.
Sorry about that, cheers
559
00:34:25,770 --> 00:34:27,640
Can I ask you a few
questions? What about?
560
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:29,610
I'm not very good
at general knowledge
561
00:34:30,530 --> 00:34:31,990
No, about working for Andy
562
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:33,350
Probably not a good idea
563
00:34:33,700 --> 00:34:34,950
Also, if you are in a hurry...
564
00:34:35,300 --> 00:34:37,260
Cheers for that, it was... So
how long have you worked for Andy?
565
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:41,360
3 hours No, think
566
00:34:41,630 --> 00:34:42,670
3 hours?
567
00:34:43,060 --> 00:34:43,820
no
568
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:48,610
What is she talking about?
569
00:34:48,980 --> 00:34:50,110
Just be honest, come on
570
00:34:50,370 --> 00:34:50,870
3 ears
571
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:52,650
No, 3 years
572
00:34:53,190 --> 00:34:54,470
Yeah, that's make
more sense Certainly
573
00:34:54,900 --> 00:34:55,950
And what's he like as a boss?
574
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:57,920
A wanker no...
575
00:34:58,260 --> 00:34:59,680
He's a wanker? No,
she didn't mean that
576
00:35:00,030 --> 00:35:01,500
Listen, listen, listen to her
577
00:35:04,220 --> 00:35:05,780
He plays darts, all the time
578
00:35:06,380 --> 00:35:10,380
I love darts. I don't know why, I've just
I've always wanted to be like Eric Bristow
579
00:35:11,300 --> 00:35:12,860
Is she actually
your P.A.? Is she...
580
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:15,070
Is she actually your P.A.? Who?
581
00:35:15,930 --> 00:35:18,520
That's lady there, is
she actually your P.A.?
582
00:35:18,870 --> 00:35:20,270
Sorry, I don't know what
do you mean by actually
583
00:35:21,180 --> 00:35:22,240
Well, do you employ her?
584
00:35:22,580 --> 00:35:23,990
Employ is a strong term
Strong in what term?
585
00:35:24,250 --> 00:35:27,130
In a sense that it's a bit weird to ask someone
about their PA when they are being interviewed
586
00:35:27,570 --> 00:35:29,750
Well, it's just a clarification,
really. About the article
587
00:35:30,380 --> 00:35:33,780
She said she's my PA, you've seen me get along
with it, so based on that what assesment are
you trying to make?
588
00:35:34,650 --> 00:35:35,690
Well, I get the impression
she's not your P.A.
589
00:35:35,900 --> 00:35:37,390
Opposite impression that
I would want, from this...
590
00:35:37,630 --> 00:35:39,070
Did Ridley Scott actually
phoned you earlier?
591
00:35:39,990 --> 00:35:41,330
According to her, are
you calling her a liar?
592
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:43,720
So he'll remember phoning you,
will he? If l speak to him later
593
00:35:44,060 --> 00:35:46,620
What's his memory like? You know him better than me
But you spoke to him earlier on the phone, didn't you?
594
00:35:46,870 --> 00:35:48,030
Yeah, couldn't hear him
595
00:35:48,580 --> 00:35:50,550
But you were relaying
my messages to him Yeesss
596
00:35:52,340 --> 00:35:54,810
Yes, well done, and I am saying
now, admitting I couldn't hear a word
597
00:35:56,130 --> 00:35:58,070
Could you just answer the question
- is she your PA?
598
00:36:03,700 --> 00:36:05,420
No, it's a joke.
599
00:36:08,650 --> 00:36:10,610
Of course she's
pretending, it's a wind-up
600
00:36:11,850 --> 00:36:13,240
It's just something we
always do to journalists
601
00:36:13,810 --> 00:36:15,510
You always do? What
do you mean by always?
602
00:36:16,750 --> 00:36:19,250
Do you need a P.A.
in real life Andy? No
603
00:36:20,490 --> 00:36:22,300
Cause I can do with the money
604
00:36:27,660 --> 00:36:28,730
Should I pack then?
605
00:36:29,430 --> 00:36:30,410
Yep, may as well
606
00:36:31,180 --> 00:36:32,360
Bought that as a gift for Andy
607
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,150
Didn't want it, wasn't interested
608
00:36:35,330 --> 00:36:37,090
Should have known then something
was brewing. How about these?
609
00:36:39,190 --> 00:36:43,910
Nothing in 'em, just put 'em up there in case
the local kids run by and peer in and
shout insults
610
00:36:45,100 --> 00:36:46,330
Kids can be cruel
611
00:36:47,140 --> 00:36:48,270
Yeah, they can
612
00:36:48,590 --> 00:36:50,080
What do they say?
You know what they say
613
00:36:50,510 --> 00:36:51,800
Lanky four-eyed twat? Yeah
614
00:36:52,590 --> 00:36:54,110
Weirdo goggle-eyed gimp? Sometimes
615
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,760
Frankenstein's albino
gonk? I never heard that one
616
00:36:58,590 --> 00:37:01,520
It's so easy to have a go at a bloke who
looks like you, you're just easy pickings
617
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,300
Sheep shagger they
said sometimes as well
618
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,830
I thought sheep shagger was Welsh?
No, it can be Bristol as well
619
00:37:07,140 --> 00:37:08,380
I thought Bristol was inbreeding
620
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,490
Sheep shagging, inbreeding, slavery,
we're famous for loads of stuff down there
621
00:37:12,220 --> 00:37:13,140
alright
622
00:37:15,060 --> 00:37:16,060
Barry?
623
00:37:16,460 --> 00:37:17,420
yeah
624
00:37:17,660 --> 00:37:19,220
Could do with a hug, mate
625
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:21,900
Yeah
626
00:37:25,990 --> 00:37:27,530
Queers Ignore him
627
00:37:52,060 --> 00:37:53,740
Show me the money
628
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,840
So, "When the Whistle Blows", the BBC
are begging for a Christmas Special... No
629
00:37:57,910 --> 00:37:59,250
What do you mean no? I
don't want to do it anymore
630
00:37:59,690 --> 00:38:02,320
You'll be mad to say no I don't care,
that's it, I want to do Hollywodd films
631
00:38:02,810 --> 00:38:05,550
or TV, but cool TV, american TV
632
00:38:05,980 --> 00:38:07,480
We've got cool TV over
here, I've got offers
633
00:38:07,810 --> 00:38:10,060
Alright, do you want to be
an alien, in doctor who? No
634
00:38:11,530 --> 00:38:13,440
They offered you a guest
part in Hotel Babylon
635
00:38:13,820 --> 00:38:15,340
What part of "cool"
don't you understand?
636
00:38:16,210 --> 00:38:17,640
Alright, well, we've
had a movie offer
637
00:38:18,420 --> 00:38:19,220
Buddy film Oh...
638
00:38:19,740 --> 00:38:22,380
No, no listen, it's a
comedy, starring Neil Hoarsey
639
00:38:22,710 --> 00:38:24,830
as a horny deliveryman who looks
exactly like the Prime Minister
640
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:26,660
Neil will be playing both parts
641
00:38:27,220 --> 00:38:28,340
Get me a Hollywood film.
642
00:38:30,630 --> 00:38:36,060
Andy, with all due respect, I really don't think
Martin Scorsese is gonna be sitting in his London
hotel room flicking through the channels
643
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:39,710
going "I've never seen this bloke before",
shouting "You having a laugh?" but I
think I've gota wig that will fit him.
644
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:41,290
Why would you say that to me?
645
00:38:41,590 --> 00:38:43,320
Because you have choosen a very specific path
646
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,230
I want to get off it. If that's what it takes to
get respect, then definetely I'm gonna finish it
647
00:38:47,510 --> 00:38:53,190
I don't want to come up with more wacky
characters, shouting catchphrases to
appeal to kids and morons
648
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,790
I want to do something credible.
I might want to direct one day
649
00:38:56,150 --> 00:38:59,120
and I'm not gonna get respect like
this, so I'm finishing the sitcom
650
00:38:59,540 --> 00:39:00,930
That's mad, that's
killing a cashcow
651
00:39:01,260 --> 00:39:03,110
I'm ending the sitcom, there you go
652
00:39:03,820 --> 00:39:04,540
done
653
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:05,960
Alright, yeah, you could do that
654
00:39:06,540 --> 00:39:09,210
or you could think
people are still watching
655
00:39:09,690 --> 00:39:10,880
let's milk it
656
00:39:11,210 --> 00:39:13,490
If people are stupid enough to keep on
watching it, let's keep on giving it to them
657
00:39:13,870 --> 00:39:15,030
They've seen it all before
658
00:39:15,390 --> 00:39:19,110
They've seen everything, every sketch,
slightly rewritten, every character
659
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,730
They've heard every cathphrase
shouted a thousand times Yes...
660
00:39:23,310 --> 00:39:26,080
but, have they seen an
episode set in Spain?
661
00:39:39,510 --> 00:39:40,040
It's great, thanks
662
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:40,890
Excuse me
663
00:39:41,140 --> 00:39:41,970
Sorry to bother you
664
00:39:42,250 --> 00:39:43,960
I'm an extra, but
I'm an actor, really
665
00:39:44,380 --> 00:39:46,190
and I know you've
been in my position and
666
00:39:46,550 --> 00:39:49,890
I just wonder if there is a line or
a few lines you need someone to do
667
00:39:50,230 --> 00:39:51,600
I'll really apreciate
the opportunity
668
00:39:51,990 --> 00:39:54,080
I'm not really involved with
casting What's your name?
669
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:55,150
Phil
670
00:39:55,420 --> 00:39:57,980
I will have a word with the floor manager, if
anything comes up, I'll put a word in for you
671
00:39:58,710 --> 00:40:00,250
Thank you, sorry to
bother you That's all right
672
00:40:07,470 --> 00:40:08,390
Why do the extras are coming to me?
673
00:40:09,030 --> 00:40:09,650
sorry?
674
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:13,040
Why are the extras waving out and bothering me?
Why are they not in their paddock or wherever
you keep 'em?
675
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:15,690
I think they sort of look up to
you were in their boat a while ago
676
00:40:16,110 --> 00:40:19,130
Alright, so I'll sit down with
them and reminisce about old times?
677
00:40:19,490 --> 00:40:22,270
or should I go on with my job,
that pays their wages and yours?
678
00:40:22,980 --> 00:40:24,350
Sorry, I didn't realize
679
00:40:25,240 --> 00:40:27,350
I'll tell him, not to do it again
680
00:40:27,780 --> 00:40:29,810
No, he won't do it again,
cause I won't be around again
681
00:40:30,790 --> 00:40:32,550
Okay Yeah?
682
00:41:05,070 --> 00:41:07,950
Hello there, Darren Lamb. I'm here to see
Andy Millman, star of "When the wind blows"
683
00:41:08,490 --> 00:41:10,050
It's "The whistle"
Yes, if I could just...
684
00:41:10,870 --> 00:41:11,830
Do you have a pass?
685
00:41:12,550 --> 00:41:14,550
No, I'm a friend of his, I'll
just go...There is no problem
686
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:16,470
I can't let anyone
in without a pass
687
00:41:17,420 --> 00:41:18,270
no?
688
00:41:18,940 --> 00:41:21,470
We are friends but we've
had a bit of a falling out
689
00:41:21,870 --> 00:41:24,280
I don't want to hassle you
with it, but if I could just...
690
00:41:24,630 --> 00:41:27,230
I can't help you, sorry
sir Okay, that's all right
691
00:41:28,090 --> 00:41:29,150
Thanks a lot
692
00:41:42,590 --> 00:41:43,800
What's happened?
693
00:41:44,140 --> 00:41:47,330
I think we both know what's happened, don't we,
really. What's happened is I've tried to jump
over the barrier
694
00:41:47,710 --> 00:41:49,550
and that ain't panned out as I had hoped
695
00:41:49,990 --> 00:41:55,710
and so if you just let me free, I'll go home and
say nothing more about it, we'll both have a lovely
Christmas. That sounds like a plan don't it?
696
00:41:57,520 --> 00:41:58,430
What are you doing?
697
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:00,190
Mate, I know this woman. They won't let me in.
698
00:42:00,780 --> 00:42:03,350
You have not got a pass? No, I was
just trying to get and see Andy
699
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:05,750
every time I've tried to phone
him, he's always on voice mail
700
00:42:06,170 --> 00:42:07,690
- Can she just walk me in?
- Not without a pass
701
00:42:08,420 --> 00:42:09,620
It's all about a pass with you, innit?
702
00:42:09,890 --> 00:42:11,070
Can I get him a pass
703
00:42:11,410 --> 00:42:12,350
Yeah, why not
704
00:42:12,620 --> 00:42:13,920
I'm gonna get a pass from Andy
705
00:42:14,270 --> 00:42:15,560
Wait there Cheers
706
00:42:23,290 --> 00:42:24,380
Ooh, There you are
707
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:26,020
Andy, I've just seen Darren up there
708
00:42:26,470 --> 00:42:27,810
And he says he can't get in
709
00:42:28,150 --> 00:42:29,360
And why are you telling me?
710
00:42:29,670 --> 00:42:31,470
Well, he says I keeps trying to call
you but your phone's switched off
711
00:42:31,770 --> 00:42:33,990
No, it's not. I just don't
answer when I see it's him
712
00:42:35,350 --> 00:42:37,450
Can we not just get him a pass
and he can sit up in the back?
713
00:42:37,740 --> 00:42:38,980
I don't want him in here
714
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,480
I know, but I told him I would get him in
715
00:42:41,900 --> 00:42:43,080
Well, you lied
716
00:42:44,050 --> 00:42:45,360
He says he really wants to see you
717
00:42:45,730 --> 00:42:47,110
Life's cruel
718
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:48,960
So I've got to go and tell him he can't get in?
719
00:42:50,350 --> 00:42:51,400
And Maggie...
720
00:42:52,690 --> 00:42:53,740
You can't keep coming up to me
721
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:55,690
I can't what?
722
00:42:55,950 --> 00:42:57,650
You can't keep coming up and talk
to me in front of the other extras
723
00:42:57,990 --> 00:43:01,180
They see you, they go "Oh, she's an extra,
she's his equal, maybe we're his equal"
724
00:43:02,050 --> 00:43:03,620
I'm not an extra Not, you were
725
00:43:04,980 --> 00:43:06,670
And so were you
726
00:43:08,390 --> 00:43:09,750
I'm a little bit busy
727
00:43:21,420 --> 00:43:22,980
Andy can't get you a pass
728
00:43:24,260 --> 00:43:25,800
He said he's really sorry and,
729
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,470
that he will love to have you
in there but he just...can't
730
00:43:29,980 --> 00:43:33,240
bend the rules, fire regulations or something
731
00:43:35,010 --> 00:43:38,190
That makes sense. I imagine the fire regulations
are quite strict at the BBC, aren't they?
732
00:43:40,180 --> 00:43:41,470
Alright well, thanks for trying
733
00:43:42,270 --> 00:43:43,330
It's okay
734
00:43:43,740 --> 00:43:46,220
- Nice to see you again.
- You too, bye.
735
00:44:05,340 --> 00:44:07,470
Oh, It's good to be back
736
00:44:07,770 --> 00:44:11,540
But what a perfect holiday and
everything has worked out brilliantly
737
00:44:11,810 --> 00:44:16,320
It certainly has, I'm getting
married to the man of my dreams
738
00:44:16,590 --> 00:44:18,390
I got that promotion I wanted
739
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:20,490
And ever since Gobbler
fell off that donkey,
740
00:44:20,990 --> 00:44:22,290
he's not been the same
741
00:44:23,260 --> 00:44:24,260
Indeed not,
742
00:44:24,500 --> 00:44:31,240
As Confucius once said, "They must often change,
who would be constant in happiness and wisdom"
743
00:44:31,470 --> 00:44:32,370
I don't get it
744
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:36,370
Brains is so much happier now
that he's out of the closet
745
00:44:36,420 --> 00:44:37,320
Oh, I am
746
00:44:37,710 --> 00:44:42,010
In fact, last night I went on a
wonderful date with a lovely man,
747
00:44:42,550 --> 00:44:45,180
he took me to a
sea food restaurant,
748
00:44:45,430 --> 00:44:47,850
fed me my favourite meal
749
00:44:48,310 --> 00:44:50,190
Fist you? No, he certainly did not
750
00:44:51,870 --> 00:44:53,730
It was our first date
751
00:44:54,500 --> 00:44:57,660
I didn't mean "did he fi..", I
meant, are you having a laugh?
752
00:44:58,070 --> 00:44:59,350
Is he having a laugh?
753
00:45:02,340 --> 00:45:03,210
Now he gets it
754
00:45:03,470 --> 00:45:04,560
Oh I get it
755
00:45:04,730 --> 00:45:06,890
I'm getting it We're all getting it
756
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,340
Merry Christmas to everyone
757
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:32,080
Thank you
758
00:45:33,470 --> 00:45:35,370
Thank you very much
I love you Andy!
759
00:45:35,540 --> 00:45:36,120
Thank you
760
00:45:36,610 --> 00:45:37,610
You having a laugh?
761
00:45:38,150 --> 00:45:39,380
Well, not actually
762
00:45:39,470 --> 00:45:42,870
Which is why this will be the last ever
episodes of "When the whistle blows"
763
00:45:45,790 --> 00:45:47,570
Well, I'll never have to
wear this stupid wig again
764
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,090
Truth be told, it's gone on for...
765
00:45:57,630 --> 00:46:00,320
far too long, I think three series
should be enough for everyone
766
00:46:00,420 --> 00:46:03,370
I don't get it! Obviously,
not enough for some people
767
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:05,010
Andy, why are you
stopping the show?
768
00:46:05,470 --> 00:46:07,570
Because, it's not
what I wanted to do
769
00:46:07,780 --> 00:46:09,190
You know, with my life...
770
00:46:09,490 --> 00:46:11,980
shout a catchphrase to a
load of morons for a livings
771
00:46:12,310 --> 00:46:12,930
no, euh...
772
00:46:13,700 --> 00:46:14,660
well, don't...
773
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:16,660
Merry Christmas
774
00:46:22,980 --> 00:46:24,150
Thank you very much
775
00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:28,170
Who the hell do you think you are? You've just
announced to the audience you are quitting the show
776
00:46:28,470 --> 00:46:31,470
without even consulting us, without even
telling us It's nothing to do with you, is it?
777
00:46:31,740 --> 00:46:33,270
What do you mean, it has nothing to do
with us? If I want to stop, that's it
778
00:46:33,590 --> 00:46:36,290
No, it's the lack of professionalism,
Andy, it's the arrogance...
779
00:46:36,690 --> 00:46:39,810
Oh, oh, When I first got into this, you
were the great "I am" holding me to ransom
780
00:46:40,250 --> 00:46:42,290
the shoe was on the other foot and now
you don't like it, do you? No, I don't
781
00:46:42,720 --> 00:46:45,780
Well if I want to stop, I'll stop. I want
to do other stuff, alright, I want to move on
782
00:46:46,300 --> 00:46:48,570
Live with it, you stay here if you
want, scrambling around, chasing ratings
783
00:46:48,930 --> 00:46:49,970
but I want to do something else
784
00:46:50,340 --> 00:46:53,300
It's a really interesting way of looking at
things, after everything that we done for you
785
00:46:53,630 --> 00:46:58,120
Oh...life's cruel Yes, it can be, good luck and,
eh, you've got lots of things lined up, have you?
786
00:46:59,110 --> 00:47:01,990
Don't worry about me The
phone won't stop ringing
787
00:47:18,790 --> 00:47:20,090
Tre Cooper, please
788
00:47:20,420 --> 00:47:21,350
Andy Millman
789
00:47:23,250 --> 00:47:25,450
Yeah, good, right, listen
to this. What's hot?
790
00:47:26,020 --> 00:47:30,700
Greg Lindley jones, who charmed the nation this
week on Desert Island Discs with a stream
of hilarious anecdotes
791
00:47:31,100 --> 00:47:33,060
that recalled the great
Peter Ustinov at his best
792
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:35,710
What's not? Andy Millman.
Are we having a laugh?
793
00:47:36,340 --> 00:47:39,600
For about five minutes we were, but Andy
Millman's Christmas special hit an all-time low
794
00:47:39,950 --> 00:47:41,960
The jokes were filthier
than Mrs Slocombe's pussy
795
00:47:42,340 --> 00:47:46,240
with no new projects on the horizon, Millman
is fast becoming as out of date as his gags
796
00:47:46,770 --> 00:47:49,650
Aren't you meant to get me some decent
work? I mean, I quit the show three weeks ago
797
00:47:58,750 --> 00:48:01,500
Excuse me, is it okay if
I go? It's nearly half past
798
00:48:01,530 --> 00:48:03,280
OK, see you tomorrow. Thanks
799
00:48:21,370 --> 00:48:21,860
Hi
800
00:48:23,240 --> 00:48:24,230
Where have you been, you're late
801
00:48:24,750 --> 00:48:25,290
Sorry
802
00:48:26,370 --> 00:48:26,970
Look at this
803
00:48:28,340 --> 00:48:29,120
worst table
804
00:48:29,950 --> 00:48:31,370
I'm just happy to be sitting down
805
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:33,930
Oh, look, it's your friend, Vernon Kay
806
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:35,240
Vernon
807
00:48:36,110 --> 00:48:37,600
Hey, Donnie Millman Andy
808
00:48:38,180 --> 00:48:39,310
See you later What?
809
00:48:40,700 --> 00:48:43,170
If he's forgetting my name, how the
hell is he going to read an autocue?
810
00:48:45,310 --> 00:48:47,190
Look at this, the Guardian stitched me up
811
00:48:48,030 --> 00:48:49,800
There's a whiff of
desperation about Andy Millman
812
00:48:50,290 --> 00:48:53,190
Our entire interview was more bizarre
than an episode of "When the whistle blows"
813
00:48:53,710 --> 00:48:56,250
Every answer he gave sounded like
he was reading from a press release,
814
00:48:56,660 --> 00:48:59,990
full of boasts, hyperbole and
the occasional bare-faced lie
815
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:05,040
He seems desperate for the headline to be "All's
well in the Millman camp, next stop hollywood"
816
00:49:07,530 --> 00:49:09,700
This is gonna be a fun lunch then Hein?
817
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:12,840
It's just we never seem to have a laugh any more
818
00:49:13,770 --> 00:49:16,070
When you had nothing and we were
both extras, we had more of a laugh
819
00:49:16,870 --> 00:49:18,590
No, we didn't, I hated it, it was shit
820
00:49:20,100 --> 00:49:21,090
Okay
821
00:49:22,790 --> 00:49:24,750
- I was always moaning.
- You're always moaning now.
822
00:49:25,730 --> 00:49:29,330
You moan about the Ray dolls but they did
buy you a house that overlooks Hampstead Heath
823
00:49:30,380 --> 00:49:34,530
You moan about the sitcom that it gets six
million viewers but it's the wrong six million
824
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:36,580
But at least it gets six million viewers
825
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,810
At least you've accomplished something,
even if it's not exactly what you wanted
826
00:49:43,210 --> 00:49:44,420
I've accomplished nothing
827
00:49:45,270 --> 00:49:47,540
I have brought nothing... to the world
828
00:49:48,750 --> 00:49:49,270
Look at that
829
00:49:49,550 --> 00:49:51,600
Harold Pinter and his wife,
having lunch with Geri Halliwell
830
00:49:52,530 --> 00:49:53,660
Why am I not over there?
831
00:49:55,870 --> 00:49:57,550
I don't know, do you
like Geri Halliwell?
832
00:49:58,290 --> 00:49:59,170
no
833
00:49:59,730 --> 00:50:01,900
no... why am I not having lunch
with Harold Pinter and his wife?
834
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:04,710
Well, I'm sorry you stuck at this table, then
835
00:50:05,220 --> 00:50:06,270
What?
836
00:50:06,650 --> 00:50:09,990
I'm not sure you should actually even come
here, this place just seems to annoy you
837
00:50:10,870 --> 00:50:13,400
You're always saying, he's got
an acting part that you wanted or
838
00:50:13,830 --> 00:50:15,980
he's got credibility and he doesn't deserve it
839
00:50:16,990 --> 00:50:22,200
If you worry about things like that you're,
you're never going to be happy,
no matter how successful you are
840
00:50:22,790 --> 00:50:24,140
You'll never be famous enough
841
00:50:26,230 --> 00:50:27,510
Thank you doctor Freud,
842
00:50:28,510 --> 00:50:29,720
nice conversation
843
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:36,350
What would you rather be?
844
00:50:36,670 --> 00:50:41,250
A penguin that can't fly but it swims around
in the water like a fish but it is a bird
845
00:50:41,860 --> 00:50:46,090
or a flying fish that can fly but
is essentially still just a fish...
846
00:50:46,530 --> 00:50:48,120
Oh Maggie, I can't do these
stupid questions anymore
847
00:50:48,490 --> 00:50:49,750
Seriously, we're grown ups
848
00:50:52,750 --> 00:50:54,500
Ah, Andy Millman,
849
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:59,090
you probably want to turn to page 17, a
rather perceptive interview with yours truly
850
00:50:59,820 --> 00:51:01,810
the one that says "Next stop Hollywood"
851
00:51:02,370 --> 00:51:04,160
I've seen it, nice photo Thank you
852
00:51:04,630 --> 00:51:06,240
Thank you, yes, apparently,
I have a brooding intensity
853
00:51:07,020 --> 00:51:10,040
Anyway, I'm going to love you and leave you
854
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:12,690
Don't let him have a pudding, we don't
want him bursting out all over the place
855
00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:29,590
Do you want me to sign that?
856
00:51:29,930 --> 00:51:31,280
No, we're alright man, cheers
857
00:51:32,050 --> 00:51:32,970
There is no one else in there
858
00:51:33,010 --> 00:51:34,150
No, it's all right, leave it, yeah
859
00:51:34,210 --> 00:51:35,680
Well, you'll never get it filled
860
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:48,100
All right? How's it going? Just getting lunch
861
00:51:48,190 --> 00:51:49,880
What have you gone for?
Yeah, "Filet au fish"
862
00:51:49,900 --> 00:51:50,560
Alright, yeah
863
00:51:50,650 --> 00:51:51,550
It's good and tasty
864
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:55,860
Good for you, isn't it, fish? Yeah, you're
meant to have two portions a week, or?
865
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:59,270
Yeah, it's got fatty acids, which are
very good for you apparently and omega
866
00:52:01,230 --> 00:52:01,780
It's good
867
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:04,490
Are you alright?
868
00:52:04,820 --> 00:52:06,060
Good, yeah Excellent
869
00:52:06,350 --> 00:52:07,650
I'd better crack on
870
00:52:08,050 --> 00:52:12,000
Darren, what you doing? It's quarter past two.
Yes, all right, calm down, mate, you're not the
boss of me, he's not the boss.
871
00:52:12,650 --> 00:52:13,700
Alright, Andy?
872
00:52:13,930 --> 00:52:15,490
Yeah You were due
back 15 minutes ago
873
00:52:15,770 --> 00:52:17,480
Yeah, alright, keep your hair
transplant on, I'm coming in, aren't I?
874
00:52:18,530 --> 00:52:19,370
See you later
875
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:20,670
See you later
876
00:52:22,220 --> 00:52:23,990
You alright? Yeah, good. Good
877
00:52:24,860 --> 00:52:26,170
No hard feelings, you know?
878
00:52:26,420 --> 00:52:27,180
No, sure
879
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:28,520
I needed someone to
further my career...
880
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:31,450
We all know, you know, he wasn't the
best agent in the world, you know,
881
00:52:31,780 --> 00:52:33,040
but he was loyal
882
00:52:33,530 --> 00:52:34,120
yeah..
883
00:52:34,390 --> 00:52:35,380
and he tries hard yeah...
884
00:52:35,700 --> 00:52:40,320
Be careful mate Fame is a
mask that eats...into the face
885
00:52:42,250 --> 00:52:44,650
Barry, can you stop nattering,
please? Dean's got a question for you
886
00:52:45,220 --> 00:52:47,030
Did you tell someone the
Nokia 8600 came with...
887
00:52:48,340 --> 00:52:49,880
Oh, hello, mate, "Are
you having a laugh?"
888
00:52:53,700 --> 00:52:56,970
I thought you were lying when you used to go on
about him all the time. I didn't used to go on
about him all the time, I didn't mention him...
889
00:52:59,060 --> 00:53:00,400
See you later yeah
890
00:53:07,710 --> 00:53:08,990
Were you really his agent once?
891
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:10,430
yes
892
00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:12,320
I need a new agent
893
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:13,600
why?
894
00:53:14,240 --> 00:53:15,720
Because I'm working
in Carphone Warehouse
895
00:54:39,300 --> 00:54:41,770
I quit the show five months ago
896
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:44,630
I'm sat here like a lemon,
you're not getting me anything
897
00:54:45,500 --> 00:54:49,030
No, I told you a thousand times, I'm
not gonna play an alien in Doctor Who
898
00:54:50,230 --> 00:54:51,020
Don't do it, Schlong!
899
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:53,850
You leave me no alternative, Doctor
900
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:02,310
What's happening to us?
901
00:55:02,720 --> 00:55:03,910
He's hyper-podulating
902
00:55:04,810 --> 00:55:08,510
He's using his molluscian glang
valves to internally vibrulate our DNA
903
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:10,890
What does that mean?
904
00:55:11,580 --> 00:55:13,740
It means we'll both turn
into slugs in about 30 seconds
905
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:16,300
Unless I can reach
that sodium chloride
906
00:55:17,530 --> 00:55:19,200
What's sodium chloride?
907
00:55:19,750 --> 00:55:21,680
You probably know it as table salt
908
00:55:37,750 --> 00:55:38,820
Tre Copper
909
00:55:39,470 --> 00:55:40,550
Andy Millman
910
00:55:41,230 --> 00:55:42,930
Okay, do you know where he is?
911
00:55:44,110 --> 00:55:45,750
Andy Millman...Tell him to call me
912
00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:47,250
Cheers
913
00:55:48,340 --> 00:55:49,320
It's Andy Millman again
914
00:55:51,230 --> 00:55:52,530
Can you get him to call me please?
915
00:55:53,170 --> 00:55:56,350
I've been calling every day for two
weeks, he's never there, where is he?
916
00:55:57,070 --> 00:55:58,030
Snowboarding...
917
00:56:00,510 --> 00:56:02,880
No, I told him. I don't
want to do Hotel Babylon
918
00:56:03,900 --> 00:56:05,910
No, I'll tell you what, I
am going to see him today
919
00:56:06,220 --> 00:56:09,550
because he's my agent and he
takes 12.5% of my wages, OK?
920
00:56:10,300 --> 00:56:11,110
right?
921
00:56:11,590 --> 00:56:14,550
Yeah, and if he really is at lunch,
where is he? Please tell me where he is.
922
00:56:15,770 --> 00:56:16,830
Thank you
923
00:56:18,340 --> 00:56:20,950
I think you've made a very wise and informed
decision, if you don't mind my saying
924
00:56:21,620 --> 00:56:24,230
Good little phone, fun ringtone as well
on there, I've actually got the same one
925
00:56:35,090 --> 00:56:37,400
You can see that will be
enjoyable...with your friends
926
00:56:37,970 --> 00:56:40,000
so, just pop your card
in there if you would
927
00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:42,040
enter PIN
928
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:43,700
And don't let him see your number
929
00:56:44,030 --> 00:56:44,730
Libellous
930
00:56:45,050 --> 00:56:46,480
Just let it phone his girlfriend
931
00:56:47,670 --> 00:56:48,660
That should be it, extract
932
00:56:50,900 --> 00:56:53,260
Deano, a Motorola Accessory
Pack, s'il vous plait
933
00:56:53,660 --> 00:56:55,100
Sure, Shauny
934
00:56:55,870 --> 00:56:56,960
Thar she blows
935
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:58,630
I thank you
936
00:56:58,920 --> 00:56:59,960
Enjoy
937
00:57:00,630 --> 00:57:01,630
Nice lady Yeah
938
00:57:03,690 --> 00:57:04,750
Hi, you alright?
939
00:57:05,470 --> 00:57:07,360
How's it going, do you
need a phone or something?
940
00:57:07,650 --> 00:57:08,620
no
941
00:57:09,150 --> 00:57:10,550
I need some work, really
942
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:12,660
any jobs going?
943
00:57:13,370 --> 00:57:14,790
Not really, no, I mean,
944
00:57:15,190 --> 00:57:17,240
aside from the intensive
training needed,
945
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:19,450
we are a bit overstaffed as well
946
00:57:20,070 --> 00:57:22,690
I think the only way there would be a vacancy
is if one of these guys got an acting job
947
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:24,290
Or if one of us dies
948
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:25,770
That's more likely
949
00:57:26,070 --> 00:57:27,160
Statistically, yes
950
00:57:27,550 --> 00:57:28,280
So, no room at the...
951
00:57:28,910 --> 00:57:30,290
...at the inn
952
00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:34,290
Are you alright?
953
00:57:36,300 --> 00:57:37,350
Need tissues
954
00:57:40,340 --> 00:57:41,530
Don't worry
955
00:57:44,010 --> 00:57:45,420
I'm sure something will turn up
956
00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:47,460
It's not about the job
957
00:57:47,980 --> 00:57:49,380
It's everything, really
958
00:57:50,370 --> 00:57:52,010
I just wasted my life
959
00:57:53,270 --> 00:57:54,730
I haven't done anything
960
00:57:55,170 --> 00:57:57,680
I haven't seen anything,
I haven't...been anywhere
961
00:57:59,850 --> 00:58:01,450
I've never even left the country
962
00:58:02,300 --> 00:58:03,390
I haven't even been abroad
963
00:58:05,250 --> 00:58:09,320
I'm just living on my own...in
one room...with no money
964
00:58:10,550 --> 00:58:13,520
and I can't even get a job
at the Carphone Warehouse
965
00:58:14,020 --> 00:58:14,900
That's not true
966
00:58:15,730 --> 00:58:16,860
It's true
967
00:58:17,140 --> 00:58:19,310
It's true at this branch, but
you know, there are other branches
968
00:58:20,030 --> 00:58:21,510
particularly the
ones in rougher areas
969
00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:23,040
They're always desperate for staff,
970
00:58:23,370 --> 00:58:27,240
because the ones they've got are always being
assaulted or stabbed, sometimes in the face
971
00:58:29,020 --> 00:58:30,710
sorry yeah
972
00:58:32,590 --> 00:58:35,090
Hi, where are you? No, nowhere
973
00:58:35,690 --> 00:58:37,280
Can you meet me at the Ivy, ASAP
974
00:58:37,750 --> 00:58:41,640
I'm trying to track down my agent. Honestly,
he's worst than Darren, he was useless but
at least, I knew where he was
975
00:58:42,170 --> 00:58:44,140
Why do you need me
there? Cause it's the Ivy
976
00:58:44,420 --> 00:58:46,670
I don't want to go in by myself,
I would look like a complete loser
977
00:58:46,960 --> 00:58:48,070
Can you meet me or not?
978
00:58:48,490 --> 00:58:49,550
Em, Okay
979
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:51,950
Good, see you later Um Um
980
00:58:53,180 --> 00:58:54,250
I have to go
981
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:57,860
Okay, sorry
982
00:58:58,820 --> 00:58:59,090
Thanks for your help
983
00:58:59,770 --> 00:59:00,780
I've had a piece of that
984
00:59:01,110 --> 00:59:02,020
Have you? Yeah
985
00:59:02,330 --> 00:59:03,940
He's a bit of a player,
ain't he? It was one date
986
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:05,760
Alright, Barry Yeah but one
date is enough though, ain't it?
987
00:59:06,070 --> 00:59:07,080
You know it! Nothing happened!
988
00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:09,570
You told me. You said you
blocked the toilet up and she left
989
00:59:10,420 --> 00:59:18,650
Yes and that was for your ears
only. Thank you very much.
990
00:59:24,740 --> 00:59:26,660
That's my mom...she's ill...
991
00:59:27,570 --> 00:59:29,350
Mom, hello... She's gone
992
00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:51,410
You alright?
993
00:59:51,770 --> 00:59:53,290
I'm having a bit of a nightmare
if the truth to be told
994
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:54,890
Tell me about it, I can't
get a hold of this agent
995
00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:58,020
I had to do Doctor Who, Hotel
Babylon, just to get my profile up
996
00:59:58,590 --> 01:00:00,530
Now he wants me to do Robin Hood.
I can't even get him on the phone
997
01:00:01,290 --> 01:00:02,610
Sounds like you had
it tough Nightmare
998
01:00:03,450 --> 01:00:05,350
Apart from all the TV work,
you're doing alright, are you? Yeah
999
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:08,100
Yes sir Hi, we haven't booked
1000
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:10,030
We're very busy today, sir
1001
01:00:10,970 --> 01:00:14,630
Andy Millman, I... Yes, you
should have booked ahead really
1002
01:00:15,110 --> 01:00:16,930
It's usually all right Sorry
1003
01:00:17,610 --> 01:00:18,870
Andy Millman Hey
1004
01:00:19,730 --> 01:00:21,730
You all right? Very all
right, Sir, Byron number one
1005
01:00:22,370 --> 01:00:25,910
UK box office, number two in
the United States of America
1006
01:00:26,740 --> 01:00:27,550
one lucky
1007
01:00:27,870 --> 01:00:29,620
I'm off round Europe next
week to promote the old film
1008
01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:32,460
What about you? Oh
great, good, yeah
1009
01:00:32,930 --> 01:00:35,000
You got lots on? Mental,
Just saying, I was...yeah
1010
01:00:35,530 --> 01:00:38,380
I saw you as a slug in
Doctor Who, very convincing
1011
01:00:39,020 --> 01:00:40,260
It's a space serpent, yeah
1012
01:00:40,650 --> 01:00:43,160
What's our agent like though? Can't
get ahold of him, has he gone AWOL?
1013
01:00:43,660 --> 01:00:46,310
Hiding from the tax man? I hope he
hasn't, I'm having lunch with him
1014
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:47,730
You're having lunch with him?
1015
01:00:48,030 --> 01:00:49,790
I wouldn't bother, it just
goes straight to the voicemail
1016
01:00:50,290 --> 01:00:53,020
Tre, yeah, oh, you're here, I'm
outside. I'll come straight in
1017
01:00:54,010 --> 01:00:55,250
Alright mate
1018
01:00:57,220 --> 01:00:59,710
Something's wrong with this The
signal, these girders...sometimes it...
1019
01:01:00,340 --> 01:01:03,130
It's weird how things pan out?
He's more famous than you are now
1020
01:01:03,450 --> 01:01:04,700
Why would you say that?
1021
01:01:05,070 --> 01:01:06,340
Why do you say that to me?
1022
01:01:06,650 --> 01:01:09,640
He's not more famous than me, not amongst my
demographic. So don't talk about things you
don't understand
1023
01:01:10,690 --> 01:01:11,800
Alright That's bollocks
1024
01:01:13,780 --> 01:01:14,730
Gordon?
1025
01:01:15,260 --> 01:01:16,090
Yep?
1026
01:01:16,350 --> 01:01:17,970
Hiya. You all right? Andy Millman
1027
01:01:18,160 --> 01:01:18,790
Yeah
1028
01:01:19,130 --> 01:01:20,220
You all right? ...Yeah...
1029
01:01:20,650 --> 01:01:21,290
Can't you have a word, can you?
1030
01:01:21,500 --> 01:01:22,180
I'm just leaving
1031
01:01:22,410 --> 01:01:24,270
No, no, you're in the industry, if you
just have a word and they'll let me through
1032
01:01:24,500 --> 01:01:25,980
I can't You can't or won't?
1033
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:27,750
Won't Oh
1034
01:01:28,250 --> 01:01:30,400
At least nip to the kitchen and
make me a cheese sandwich. You cook!
1035
01:01:30,820 --> 01:01:32,780
Cock?! Haven't you had
enough cheese sandwiches
1036
01:01:33,170 --> 01:01:34,610
fat boy You pound puppy-faced git
1037
01:01:34,860 --> 01:01:37,820
You catchphrase shouting,
wig-wearing wannabe
1038
01:01:38,190 --> 01:01:41,740
You publicity hungry,
failed footballing fuck
1039
01:01:42,060 --> 01:01:43,650
You're a has been, go home
1040
01:01:44,070 --> 01:01:46,810
You think you're hard don"t you cause you shout
at people in kitchens. Who works in kitchens?
1041
01:01:47,190 --> 01:01:50,260
Ooh, women and gays, ooh and
the French. Ooh you're well hard
1042
01:01:50,770 --> 01:01:52,700
Let's just leave it
there, shall we? yeah?
1043
01:01:53,100 --> 01:01:56,470
I don't want to get into a fight. I've
heard your girdle could explode at any minute
1044
01:01:56,820 --> 01:01:59,330
You fuck, I was gonna...
1045
01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:01,100
Come on, let's just go
1046
01:02:01,410 --> 01:02:04,180
No, I'm gonna wait here and wait for him to come
out. If I can't go through there for five minutes?
1047
01:02:04,470 --> 01:02:05,500
I'm sorry
1048
01:02:05,770 --> 01:02:07,190
Well, can we at least
have a drink at the bar?
1049
01:02:07,550 --> 01:02:08,740
Do you want a drink? Not really no
1050
01:02:09,030 --> 01:02:10,230
No, got something better to do?
1051
01:02:10,690 --> 01:02:11,500
no
1052
01:02:11,770 --> 01:02:12,810
I'm going home Where you going?
1053
01:02:13,090 --> 01:02:13,780
Home
1054
01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:15,300
Don't leave me here
by myself, come on
1055
01:02:16,020 --> 01:02:17,100
Where is my home?
1056
01:02:17,410 --> 01:02:17,960
What?
1057
01:02:18,230 --> 01:02:19,250
Where do I live?
1058
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:20,510
You moved
1059
01:02:20,770 --> 01:02:22,080
Yeah, where to?
1060
01:02:22,410 --> 01:02:23,500
You want the exact adress?
1061
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:24,950
No, just the area
1062
01:02:26,380 --> 01:02:27,450
What am I, your postman?
1063
01:02:28,470 --> 01:02:29,910
No, you're my friend
1064
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:31,930
Look, I'll see you Oh, come on
1065
01:02:32,540 --> 01:02:34,740
Oh, for fuck s...
1066
01:03:21,510 --> 01:03:22,030
Tre!
1067
01:03:22,290 --> 01:03:22,930
Excuse me
1068
01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:32,780
What are you doing?
1069
01:03:33,050 --> 01:03:33,800
What are YOU doing?
1070
01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:35,500
You haven't returned
any of my calls
1071
01:03:35,730 --> 01:03:38,950
Yeah, funny enough, there's not been that
much since you told the BBC to piss off
1072
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:42,290
There's other channels, aren't there? You're
meant to generate work for me, you're my agent
1073
01:03:42,530 --> 01:03:44,360
Yeah, well, I can't magic
things out of thin air
1074
01:03:44,700 --> 01:03:46,220
They either want you or they don't
1075
01:03:46,700 --> 01:03:47,680
Life's cruel
1076
01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:51,730
And to be honest with you, I've been up to my
eyeballs with my other clients...
Guilty as charged.
1077
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:53,190
Yeah...What about me?
1078
01:03:53,650 --> 01:03:54,680
Alright, listen to me Andy
1079
01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:56,960
I can't help you because I don't
know what it is that you want
1080
01:03:57,600 --> 01:03:59,200
Every time you come in my
office, it's something different
1081
01:03:59,680 --> 01:04:01,570
One day it's all about not
selling out, being an artist
1082
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:03,380
Next day, you just want
your face in the paper
1083
01:04:04,460 --> 01:04:05,800
What do you want?
1084
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:10,320
Do you want to be a famous movie star or do you
want to be the tortured genius creating great art?
1085
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:13,190
Look, do you want fame and fortune?
1086
01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:15,750
or do you want
integrity and respect?
1087
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:17,260
Both
1088
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:18,350
right,
1089
01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:20,740
Well, there is only a few people in
this world who have both those things
1090
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:22,420
You...
1091
01:04:23,260 --> 01:04:24,490
...will never be one of them
1092
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:29,360
What do you want?
1093
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:38,160
Rich and famous and on the TV
1094
01:04:39,320 --> 01:04:40,470
right
1095
01:04:40,910 --> 01:04:42,050
okay then
1096
01:04:42,470 --> 01:04:44,340
Will you do the stuff
you keep turning down?
1097
01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:45,570
yes
1098
01:04:45,850 --> 01:04:46,630
Comedy panel shows?
1099
01:04:46,950 --> 01:04:47,600
yes
1100
01:04:47,870 --> 01:04:49,730
You know you will have to make your
carefully written jokes look ad-libbed?
1101
01:04:50,010 --> 01:04:51,040
Yes, I know how they work
1102
01:04:52,770 --> 01:04:53,480
Ooo
1103
01:04:54,110 --> 01:04:55,640
Thick club
1104
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:56,990
Good, yeah, this is great
1105
01:04:57,290 --> 01:05:02,400
I'd much rather have a client that will do anything
to get on television than someone who goes,
"I don't want to do that" or "It's beneath me"
1106
01:05:02,760 --> 01:05:03,670
Ooh, hold on
1107
01:05:04,120 --> 01:05:06,040
There is one other thing
I'll have to pull some strings
1108
01:05:06,840 --> 01:05:07,790
Pull them
1109
01:05:14,250 --> 01:05:18,270
Last night, the celebrity housemates
arrived in the Big Brother house
1110
01:05:19,250 --> 01:05:20,760
Hi, hello...hiya
1111
01:05:21,600 --> 01:05:24,510
Hi Lisa Scott Lee. Hi,
Lisa, hi Scott, hi Lee
1112
01:05:25,650 --> 01:05:28,120
Chico. Oh, yeah yeah. Toby.
All right mate, how it going?
1113
01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:30,520
Welcome to the house Oh, cheers
1114
01:05:31,260 --> 01:05:32,400
Hello Hi, Andy..
1115
01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:34,570
Lionel Blair. Andy
1116
01:05:36,090 --> 01:05:36,970
good
1117
01:05:43,020 --> 01:05:43,820
he's happy...
1118
01:05:49,220 --> 01:05:50,690
I don't know who any
of these people are
1119
01:05:51,360 --> 01:05:53,070
Who's that one in the dress?
1120
01:05:53,520 --> 01:05:55,470
That's Amy, she is
in all the lad's mags
1121
01:05:56,320 --> 01:05:58,160
Her boyfriend was
accused of rape. Hmm
1122
01:05:58,520 --> 01:05:59,760
Opportunity knocks
1123
01:06:01,500 --> 01:06:02,680
Yeah And who is that one?
1124
01:06:02,980 --> 01:06:04,230
Her son was murdered murdered?
1125
01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:06,560
What's she doing in here?
1126
01:06:07,010 --> 01:06:09,100
She's got a single coming
out. Course she has. Well
1127
01:06:09,650 --> 01:06:10,880
Cheers Cheers
1128
01:06:33,040 --> 01:06:37,240
11.22pm: All the
housemates are in the lounge
1129
01:06:38,230 --> 01:06:40,290
Obviously, I knew he
was filming us at it
1130
01:06:41,100 --> 01:06:42,950
but I didn't think it was
going to end up on the internet
1131
01:06:43,550 --> 01:06:44,600
How did it end up on the internet?
1132
01:06:44,950 --> 01:06:45,970
Well, someone must have stolen it.
1133
01:06:46,780 --> 01:06:47,630
Where from?
1134
01:06:48,020 --> 01:06:49,000
From the flat
1135
01:06:49,320 --> 01:06:55,680
You probably put it on the open window sill next to
the apple pie that was cooling down, some ruffians
came by, they've put it straight on the internet
1136
01:06:56,160 --> 01:06:59,470
I'm glad they did though because
the lad mags called and said "Hey,
1137
01:06:59,880 --> 01:07:04,770
wa saw those, we thought they looked great
in motion, do they look as good still?"
1138
01:07:05,160 --> 01:07:10,930
And they did. So they put them in the magazines
and luckily $L%µ& was reading one of them and...
1139
01:07:11,860 --> 01:07:14,410
You went out with $L%µ&
for a while, didn't you?
1140
01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:16,390
Well, I didn't really go out with
him, I shagged him a few times
1141
01:07:16,880 --> 01:07:18,670
And I also shagged &µ%L$
1142
01:07:19,320 --> 01:07:22,120
&µ%L$&µ%L$&µ%L$
1143
01:07:22,430 --> 01:07:25,500
&µ%L$&µ%L$&µ%L$&µ%L$
1144
01:07:26,190 --> 01:07:28,240
&µ%L$&µ%L$&µ%L$
1145
01:07:28,650 --> 01:07:29,920
&µ%L$&µ%L$
1146
01:07:32,860 --> 01:07:34,990
Andy has come to the Diary Room
1147
01:07:35,870 --> 01:07:37,760
You might be sued under
the Trades Descriptions Act,
1148
01:07:38,360 --> 01:07:39,700
for calling it
Celebrity Big Brother
1149
01:07:40,370 --> 01:07:41,690
I didn't know some of them were
1150
01:07:42,270 --> 01:07:43,610
Do you know what I
mean? I just think...
1151
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:48,950
I just don't think this is doing me any good
at all. It'll make me look bad if anything
1152
01:07:49,340 --> 01:07:53,620
because people won't go "oh, he's the
biggest star in there", they'll go...
1153
01:07:54,400 --> 01:07:56,000
"well, if he's in
there, he must be as..."
1154
01:08:03,800 --> 01:08:07,470
Day Three: Lionel is dancing again
1155
01:08:15,990 --> 01:08:17,640
I pulled my bloody back
1156
01:08:18,630 --> 01:08:21,340
There we go. Easy does it, lay
back, lay back, lay back, lay back..
1157
01:08:23,210 --> 01:08:23,980
You alright?
1158
01:08:25,980 --> 01:08:27,090
Why are you doing this?
1159
01:08:28,160 --> 01:08:29,520
It just keeps up the profile
1160
01:08:30,490 --> 01:08:34,830
But you've been performing for 40 years. Aren't
you bored with, just, having to be on all the time?
1161
01:08:35,510 --> 01:08:37,280
Yeah, I ache as well
1162
01:08:38,440 --> 01:08:39,910
I wake up in the morning and I ache
1163
01:08:40,570 --> 01:08:41,840
That's why I've
done my bloody back,
1164
01:08:42,560 --> 01:08:43,580
I didn't stretch because
1165
01:08:44,160 --> 01:08:45,470
it aches to stretch
1166
01:08:47,560 --> 01:08:49,200
Do you know what I look
forward to these days?
1167
01:08:51,360 --> 01:08:52,520
death
1168
01:08:54,340 --> 01:08:55,490
Oh, save me some wine
1169
01:08:56,600 --> 01:08:57,890
It numbs the pain
1170
01:09:04,600 --> 01:09:08,510
Day 4: Big Brother has
set the housemates a task
1171
01:09:09,240 --> 01:09:12,450
The housemates must rank
themselves in order of fame
1172
01:09:12,990 --> 01:09:17,370
With one being the most famous
and eight being the least famous
1173
01:09:18,390 --> 01:09:21,220
I've worked hard to get where I've got
What have you done, dropped your knickers?
1174
01:09:21,750 --> 01:09:26,310
OK, all right, but at least I'm
on the way up This is serious guys
1175
01:09:26,920 --> 01:09:29,720
My fans are watching so I should be here.
I've been famous for ten years, you've
been famous for ten minutes
1176
01:09:29,970 --> 01:09:32,370
I've been in this business 50
years. Granddad's talking now
1177
01:09:33,630 --> 01:09:36,070
Never mind about
Granddad, Come on, go on.
1178
01:09:36,380 --> 01:09:40,450
I had two programmes in the top five,
Give Us A Clue and Name That Tune
1179
01:09:40,850 --> 01:09:41,920
When have you been on the TV?
1180
01:09:42,250 --> 01:09:44,410
Everybody who watched are
in homes. Is that right?
1181
01:09:44,780 --> 01:09:49,320
Look, I don't care if Lionel wants to go
number one... I'll swap with Lionel but
I'm not swapping with her...
1182
01:09:49,650 --> 01:09:55,830
Well, I don't mind, I mean, all I say is my show
was getting seven million every week on BBC One
1183
01:09:56,330 --> 01:10:00,260
Everyone shouts my catchphrases Even
four-year-olds shout my catchphrase
1184
01:10:00,670 --> 01:10:04,370
Four-year-olds shout my catchphrase.
They're five now but that's not the point...
I'm sorry, mate, you're a reality winner
1185
01:10:05,080 --> 01:10:12,900
Hold on, hold on, hold on a second Actually,
you didn't even win You didn't even win...
1186
01:10:17,100 --> 01:10:19,030
My son's murder was
on the news at ten...
1187
01:10:23,710 --> 01:10:26,900
And I met Gordon Brown He paid for me
to come up to London and everything.
1188
01:10:28,910 --> 01:10:33,080
Still, it must have been a terrible
time It was an absolute tragedy
1189
01:10:33,900 --> 01:10:42,900
# Tragedy # When feelings gone and you can't go
on it's tragedy... # # With no-one to love you,
you're going nowhere... # # Tragedy... #
1190
01:10:52,990 --> 01:10:55,020
Andy has come to the Diary Room
1191
01:10:56,110 --> 01:10:57,310
I don't know why I did this
1192
01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:00,940
I just don't, I just don't...
1193
01:11:01,390 --> 01:11:03,740
What is this? This is
a blip, is this a blip?
1194
01:11:04,490 --> 01:11:05,730
Is this a blip in my life?
1195
01:11:06,310 --> 01:11:07,570
Will I do something embarrassing?
1196
01:11:07,870 --> 01:11:09,970
Will I, what, do
they... I don't know.
1197
01:11:13,310 --> 01:11:16,030
I don't know what's the best that
can happen. I know what the worst is,
1198
01:11:17,540 --> 01:11:20,050
but I don't know what
the best that can happen
1199
01:11:25,700 --> 01:11:29,160
Andy, is there anything you
miss in the outside world?
1200
01:11:37,500 --> 01:11:38,810
loads of stuff
1201
01:11:47,810 --> 01:11:50,280
The housemates are
talking about fame
1202
01:11:52,550 --> 01:11:54,320
When did you first realise
you wanted to be famous?
1203
01:11:55,470 --> 01:11:56,770
Me? yeah
1204
01:11:57,620 --> 01:11:59,550
I didn't thinkl did just
want to become famous
1205
01:12:00,190 --> 01:12:02,090
I thought I wanted something
1206
01:12:02,580 --> 01:12:06,420
Obviously I do, I just want to be famous
why else would I put myself here with a load
of other desperate people
1207
01:12:07,870 --> 01:12:09,100
I'm not desperate
1208
01:12:09,760 --> 01:12:10,900
no? no
1209
01:12:11,200 --> 01:12:13,790
I'm doing this to broaden my career
I want to be a serious journalist
1210
01:12:15,700 --> 01:12:21,240
Yesterday, june, you spent 20 minutes
making porridge in high heels and a thong
1211
01:12:22,030 --> 01:12:22,750
so?
1212
01:12:23,040 --> 01:12:24,930
I don't think Kate Adie
started out like that
1213
01:12:25,230 --> 01:12:25,850
Who?
1214
01:12:26,150 --> 01:12:27,150
Good luck with the Pulitzer
1215
01:12:27,430 --> 01:12:28,290
Are you patronising me?
1216
01:12:28,560 --> 01:12:30,030
No, I'm not having a go.
I'm really not having a go
1217
01:12:30,260 --> 01:12:35,080
I'm saying we must be desperate - why else would
we come onto a show where you have to
hand in your dignity at the door?
1218
01:12:35,710 --> 01:12:37,360
I haven't handed in my dignity
1219
01:13:45,830 --> 01:13:50,600
I'm not going to get married for a while but if I did
get married, I would definitely let someone pay for it,
1220
01:13:51,040 --> 01:13:54,020
because a decent wedding is going to
cost about 50 grand. I'd let Hello pay.
1221
01:13:55,830 --> 01:13:58,740
And, apparently, they pay you
for every celebrity you get along
1222
01:14:00,230 --> 01:14:02,620
You'd come wouldn't you, you're
worth a few quid. Yeah. Definitely
1223
01:14:03,170 --> 01:14:05,070
Andy, would you come
to my Hello wedding?
1224
01:14:06,800 --> 01:14:08,350
To your Hello wedding? Yeah
1225
01:14:11,830 --> 01:14:13,540
Are you all right? No
1226
01:14:14,940 --> 01:14:17,540
What are we doing? Selling
ourselves, selling everything
1227
01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:20,100
Happiest day of my life. Quick,
1228
01:14:20,660 --> 01:14:24,710
I'd better do the invites and bake a cake.
Must have a press tent, it's a wedding
1229
01:14:25,550 --> 01:14:28,200
ou know, I must see pictures of myself
with other people I'm in a programme with
1230
01:14:28,990 --> 01:14:33,460
Oh, and now I'm pregnant, maybe we should televise
the birth. Get Ryan Seackrest to present it,
1231
01:14:33,910 --> 01:14:35,820
maybe it'll make jimmy
Carr's 100 Greatest Caesareans
1232
01:14:37,020 --> 01:14:39,170
I'm not having a go at you,
I'm sick of these celebrities
1233
01:14:40,400 --> 01:14:42,830
living their life out in the open all
the time. .. Why would you do that?
1234
01:14:43,660 --> 01:14:44,840
It's like these pop stars
1235
01:14:45,260 --> 01:14:47,290
who choose the perfect
moment to go into rehab,
1236
01:14:47,780 --> 01:14:49,780
they call their publicists
before they call a taxi,
1237
01:14:50,310 --> 01:14:52,080
then they come out and do
their second autobiography,
1238
01:14:52,460 --> 01:14:55,040
This one is called "Love me or I'll
kill myself" Oh, kill yourself, then.
1239
01:14:56,560 --> 01:15:01,780
The papers lap it up. They follow us round and
that makes people think we're important and
that makes us think we're important
1240
01:15:02,660 --> 01:15:09,980
If they stopped doing that, people wouldn't take
to the streets going, 'Ooh, quick, I need a
picture of Cameron Diaz with a pimple.' They
wouldn't care, they'd get on with something else
1241
01:15:10,850 --> 01:15:11,950
They'd get on with their lives
1242
01:15:12,780 --> 01:15:15,630
You open a paper, see a picture of
Lindsay Lohan getting out of a car
1243
01:15:16,030 --> 01:15:18,160
and the headline is "Cover up
Lindsay, we can see your knickers"
1244
01:15:18,470 --> 01:15:23,040
0f course you can see your knickers!
Your photographer's lying in the road
pointing his camera up her dress
1245
01:15:23,350 --> 01:15:24,540
to see her knickers!
1246
01:15:24,870 --> 01:15:26,150
You're literally the gutter press
1247
01:15:27,810 --> 01:15:29,860
And fuck you, the makers
of this show as well,
1248
01:15:30,310 --> 01:15:31,570
you can't wash your hands of this,
1249
01:15:31,860 --> 01:15:34,780
you can't keep going "Oh, it's
exploitation but it's what the public want"
1250
01:15:35,110 --> 01:15:35,720
No!
1251
01:15:36,010 --> 01:15:37,660
The Victorian freak
show never went away,
1252
01:15:37,980 --> 01:15:42,070
now it's called Big Brother or American
idol. Where in the preliminary rounds,
1253
01:15:42,380 --> 01:15:46,280
we wheel out the bewildered to be
sniggered at by multi-millionaires
1254
01:15:48,110 --> 01:15:49,410
And fuck you for
watching this at home
1255
01:15:51,580 --> 01:15:52,550
Shame on you!
1256
01:15:53,300 --> 01:15:54,610
And shame on me!
1257
01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:56,050
I'm the worst of all
1258
01:15:56,340 --> 01:15:57,770
Because I'm one of
these people that goes,
1259
01:15:58,070 --> 01:16:01,640
"Oh, I'm an entertainer, it's in my blood" Yeah,
it's in my blood because a real job is too hard.
1260
01:16:02,640 --> 01:16:05,580
I'd love to have been a doctor. Too
hard, didn't want to put the work in
1261
01:16:06,130 --> 01:16:07,070
I'd love to be a war hero
1262
01:16:08,390 --> 01:16:09,620
but I'm too scared
1263
01:16:10,950 --> 01:16:12,370
So I go, "Oh, it's what I do"
1264
01:16:13,670 --> 01:16:17,810
and I have someone bollocked if my cappuccino's
cold, or if they look at me the wrong way
1265
01:16:20,080 --> 01:16:21,580
Do you know what a
friend of mine once said?
1266
01:16:22,090 --> 01:16:24,580
They said I'll never be happy
because I'll never be famous enough
1267
01:16:25,310 --> 01:16:26,400
and they were right
1268
01:16:30,860 --> 01:16:35,450
And if you are watching this, I am so sorry
You're my best friend, you're my only friend
1269
01:16:37,790 --> 01:16:40,660
and you never did anything wrong
1270
01:16:40,930 --> 01:16:44,230
it was everything else. I will never do that
again, I will never treat you like that again
1271
01:16:45,340 --> 01:16:47,910
And it's eating me up You
asked me a stupid question once
1272
01:16:48,470 --> 01:16:53,180
and I could have answered it and I
didn't because I was... I'll answer it now
1273
01:16:55,100 --> 01:16:56,370
I'll be the penguin
1274
01:16:58,590 --> 01:16:59,870
because I could eat the flying fish
1275
01:17:01,780 --> 01:17:03,040
I know what you're thinking,
1276
01:17:03,420 --> 01:17:04,850
why doesn't the fish fly away?
1277
01:17:05,150 --> 01:17:08,190
Well, it can't really fly, it sort of glide and
flap. They should be called glidey flappy fish
1278
01:17:13,980 --> 01:17:15,390
I'm so sorry
1279
01:17:16,310 --> 01:17:18,060
I've been waiting
to hear that, mate...
1280
01:17:18,440 --> 01:17:20,780
I don't think he means... He's
a good guy, he's a good guy, yeah
1281
01:17:21,430 --> 01:17:22,380
yeah
1282
01:17:23,300 --> 01:17:24,840
I'm gonna go now Cheers everyone
1283
01:17:25,560 --> 01:17:26,610
Andy? Yeah
1284
01:17:27,330 --> 01:17:28,920
Andy, that was...that was amazing.
1285
01:17:29,380 --> 01:17:30,720
Cheers I'm gonna come with you
1286
01:17:31,300 --> 01:17:32,300
Okay
1287
01:17:32,630 --> 01:17:35,230
Just give me five minutes, there's
paparazzi out there, I'll put on a bikini
1288
01:17:57,180 --> 01:17:57,980
Andy?
1289
01:17:58,250 --> 01:17:59,170
Andy!
1290
01:18:00,230 --> 01:18:02,550
Seriously mate,
you're a fucking genuis
1291
01:18:03,310 --> 01:18:04,440
Where did that come from?
1292
01:18:04,910 --> 01:18:07,340
I don't know Have you seen the
mob out there? It's gone mad
1293
01:18:07,820 --> 01:18:10,460
The phone's been going mental,
I've had calls from the papers,
1294
01:18:10,850 --> 01:18:14,330
all the chat shows. We can
charge a fortune for this
1295
01:18:14,910 --> 01:18:15,890
Wzll done mate
1296
01:18:16,340 --> 01:18:19,040
Elton john, he's been on, wants you to be
seen at one of his 60th birthday parties
1297
01:18:19,700 --> 01:18:20,810
He's 61 now, isn't he?
1298
01:18:21,100 --> 01:18:23,420
Well, he's got a lot of parties to get
through, he's still on the 60th ones
1299
01:18:23,800 --> 01:18:27,710
Oh, Posh and Becks are being photographed
on a private beach "against their will"
1300
01:18:28,110 --> 01:18:30,230
and they wondered if
you wanted to be there
1301
01:18:30,920 --> 01:18:32,010
Waou Hey?
1302
01:18:32,660 --> 01:18:38,130
When you go through there, don't say too much
cause we wanna be able to sell your story.
Just say a few words, straight in the car
1303
01:18:38,550 --> 01:18:40,120
I've got you a hotel
suite, let's get down there
1304
01:18:40,470 --> 01:18:44,850
and assess our options but seriously,
mate, the world is your oyster
1305
01:18:45,550 --> 01:18:46,530
OK You ready?
1306
01:18:46,800 --> 01:18:47,360
Yeah
1307
01:18:47,630 --> 01:18:49,390
Let me say a few words, then
I will bring you out. Yeah
1308
01:18:54,400 --> 01:18:55,990
Hello. OK, sorry for
keeping you waiting
1309
01:18:56,360 --> 01:18:57,620
Hello. OK, sorry for
keeping you waiting
1310
01:18:57,870 --> 01:19:03,980
there will be a chance for that at a later stage
but those of you who want to get your cheque
books open
1311
01:19:04,870 --> 01:19:07,070
All right so, ladies and
gentleman... Andy Millman
1312
01:19:10,770 --> 01:19:12,130
Oh, he's a deaf bugger
1313
01:19:12,470 --> 01:19:13,860
Andy Millman!
1314
01:19:28,610 --> 01:19:29,830
Hi
1315
01:19:30,420 --> 01:19:31,420
Hello
1316
01:19:31,970 --> 01:19:32,810
You all right?
1317
01:19:33,070 --> 01:19:33,880
Yeah
1318
01:19:34,510 --> 01:19:35,640
I saw you on the TV
1319
01:19:35,860 --> 01:19:36,630
Did you?
1320
01:19:36,980 --> 01:19:37,780
Okay
1321
01:19:37,960 --> 01:19:38,900
Good
1322
01:19:39,180 --> 01:19:40,270
Where are we going?
1323
01:19:40,560 --> 01:19:42,290
Somewhere where
noone cares who I am
1324
01:19:43,050 --> 01:19:44,130
Back to the Ivy then?
1325
01:19:47,520 --> 01:19:50,820
Seriously, somewhere
where noone knows me
1326
01:19:51,520 --> 01:19:52,330
Hollywood?
1327
01:19:53,000 --> 01:19:54,350
The hits keep coming
1328
01:19:57,560 --> 01:20:00,380
What do you want me to tell them? They've
been sitting for three fucking hours!
1329
01:20:00,670 --> 01:20:03,870
Just say "Oh, sorry, we lost
him?!" Move, fucking find him
1330
01:20:10,240 --> 01:20:11,330
Seriously, where do you want to go?
1331
01:20:12,320 --> 01:20:13,780
We can go anywhere? Yeah
1332
01:20:14,550 --> 01:20:15,560
Alright then
1333
01:20:16,380 --> 01:20:17,630
Where do the flying fish live?
1334
01:20:18,030 --> 01:20:18,880
in the sea
1335
01:20:19,170 --> 01:20:20,400
Let's go there then
1336
01:20:20,770 --> 01:20:22,320
Two first class
tickets to the sea...
1337
01:20:25,120 --> 01:20:27,210
Subtitles by Majin Ju (Helped
by Evarin's transcript)
107486
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof