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1
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,700
Calvin, where do you get these?
2
00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:43,900
They're so funny.
3
00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:46,800
Just remember
don't mention the communists.
4
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,800
Calvin's a great guy,
but he's a little--you know.
5
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,000
-Nutty.
-What's his wife like?
6
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:53,000
You know...housewife.
7
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,800
Likes to cook, pregnant.
8
00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:56,200
Normal, then.
9
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,200
I wouldn't go that far.
10
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,600
-Helen!
-Oh, hi, Betty. Hi, Dave.
11
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,700
Just look at you.
12
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,100
Any day now.
13
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:05,400
Say hi to my sister
Ruth and her husband.
14
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,500
Tell me
if you've heard this one.
15
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,700
A duck walks into a drugstore.
16
00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:13,200
He says,
"I'd like some lip gloss."
17
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,400
The clerk says, "Certainly, sir.
Will this be cash or check?"
18
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:20,200
The duck says,
"Put it on my bill."
19
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:23,600
Oh, brother.
20
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,100
He was the golden boy
professor at Cal Tech...
21
00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:28,700
but then he started
inventing things.
22
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:30,700
He suddenly became very rich.
23
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,500
And that was it.
He quit teaching.
24
00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:36,700
-How's that?
-Just what the doctor ordered.
25
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:41,400
Calvin spends
all of his time out there...
26
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,700
tinkering around
in the workshop.
27
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,300
If you ask me,
it's all very strange.
28
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,500
Same is true of batteries.
29
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,500
I could take
a simple yacht battery...
30
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,300
and rig it
to last a decade, easily.
31
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,000
Say, Helen,
what does Calvin think...
32
00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:58,100
about this trouble down in Cuba?
33
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,700
Oh, for heaven's sakes,
please don't bring that up.
34
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:14,300
I'd say my baseball card
collection is as complete...
35
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,100
as any one I've ever seen.
36
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:20,700
Calvin! Kennedy is going
toe-to-toe with Khruschev...
37
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,500
on television right now.
38
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:23,900
Ooh, boy.
39
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:26,800
On the island of Cuba.
40
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,300
Unmistakable evidence
has established the fact...
41
00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:32,800
that a series
of offensive missile sites...
42
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:37,200
is now in preparation
on that imprisoned island.
43
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:58,400
Tower, this is Wolf One. I got
five miles to the overhead.
44
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,100
Wolf One, Tower.
Report the numbers.
45
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,800
You're number one
for the overhead.
46
00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:07,500
Tower, this is Wolf One.
I got a problem here.
47
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:10,800
State your problem, Wolf One.
Are you declaring an emergency?
48
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,700
Stand by, One.
49
00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:15,600
Additional sites
appear to be designed...
50
00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:18,400
for intermediate-range
ballistic missiles...
51
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,800
and thus capable of striking
most of the major cities...
52
00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:22,700
in the western hemisphere.
53
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,500
Folks.
54
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,800
Given this extraordinary
turn of events...
55
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,700
I think it's prudent
we cut this evening short.
56
00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:33,700
I'm sure this Cuban thing
will resolve itself...
57
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,500
but in the meantime,
I suggest we take...
58
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:39,000
a prayerful
watch and wait stance.
59
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,600
OK, folks, let's go.
60
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:46,800
-My coat.
-Oh, here you go.
61
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,400
I'll call you, then.
62
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:53,700
What did I tell you?
63
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,900
Well, I'm certainly not gonna
let this pot roast go to waste.
64
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:03,700
Oh, Calvin, would you
put that seat cushion...
65
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,300
back on the lawn chair, honey?
66
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,400
Shouldn't we at least
turn off the phonograph?
67
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,300
It shuts off automatically.
68
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:11,000
Oh. Did you make it to do that?
69
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,200
They all do.
70
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,200
I never know anymore.
71
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:20,100
I bet that's a fighter jet
on its way to Key West.
72
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:22,500
Good luck, amigo.
73
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:24,000
An emergency has been declared.
74
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,300
I repeat,
an emergency has been declared.
75
00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:27,500
You hear that?
76
00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:29,700
I'll come back for the radio.
77
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:34,000
I wish you would have
at least let me do the dishes.
78
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,100
It's not gonna be that easy...
79
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,600
to get all that dried-on food
off my nice plates.
80
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,600
I just hope those plates are not
radioactive by tomorrow.
81
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,900
Cheese
is particularly troublesome.
82
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,000
I've got secondaries
of an engine fire.
83
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,100
I'm gonna need to find
a clear area to eject.
84
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:50,400
Roger, Wolf One.
Can you make it to the ocean?
85
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,100
Roger that, Tower.
86
00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:59,700
I'm marking the one-eight-zero
radio for five...
87
00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:01,600
and ejecting, Tower.
88
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:03,100
Roger, Wolf One.
89
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,900
How long will we have
to stay down here?
90
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,400
For this thing to blow over
could take days.
91
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:22,600
Days?
92
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,500
What if I go into labor?
93
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,800
That could happen any time now.
94
00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:28,000
I've read up on it.
95
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,900
If I have to,
I'll deliver the baby myself.
96
00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:59,000
Home, sweet home.
97
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,500
To you, maybe.
98
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:14,600
Are you all right?
99
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,100
I think so.
100
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:22,500
It's happened!
101
00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:23,800
Look at that heat!
102
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,800
All my surface indicators...
103
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:28,700
knocked out! Oh, Lord!
104
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,300
It's happened!
105
00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:38,500
What was that noise?
106
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,400
- The locks.
- The locks?
107
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,800
To keep us from trying to leave.
108
00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:54,700
There's a radiation half-life
after an atomic blast.
109
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,500
-It lasts thirty-five years.- Thirty-five years?
110
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:04,400
Then after that,
it's safe to go up.
111
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:09,200
According to Cal Tech...
112
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,200
this Webber guy
was a bona fide genius...
113
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,600
but a borderline nut case.
114
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:15,800
He and Mrs. Nut Case...
115
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,500
must have been out here
when the plane hit.
116
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,300
Unless we get a postcard or
something, that'd be my guess.
117
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,400
What about relatives?
118
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:23,900
They're all back east.
119
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,300
Neighbors said the guy
spent day and night out here.
120
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:32,000
She'd bring him sandwiches
and hot Dr. Pepper.
121
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,400
He drank it hot?
122
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:39,400
Good God.
123
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,200
Hi, hon.
124
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,300
Feeling better?
125
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,600
We have to be strong.
126
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,000
If not for ourselves...
127
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,500
for the child.
128
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,900
All our friends.
129
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,200
Burnt to a crisp.
130
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,800
I'm not hungry.
131
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,100
Hot Dr. Pepper--your favorite.
132
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,100
No, Calvin. Your favorite.
133
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:26,800
Really?
134
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,000
Chilly? You shouldn't be.
135
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,600
Temperature's
a nice seventy-three degrees.
136
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,700
Maybe I've just got the creeps.
137
00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:39,200
How could you?
This is just like home.
138
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,400
This is different.
139
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,000
Believe me.
140
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,800
Would you like a tranquilizer?
141
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,600
You've got tranquilizers?
142
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,500
I told you I have everything.
143
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:55,400
What?
144
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,900
Oh, hon.
145
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:03,700
Just breathe.
146
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,300
I'll get my stuff.
147
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:42,700
Is there a problem?
148
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:44,700
No, Calvin. Babies cry.
149
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:46,700
I've noticed.
150
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,200
What shall we call him?
151
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,200
I don't know.
152
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,300
Well, I was thinking,
in light of the situation...
153
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,300
we should call him Adam.
154
00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:56,900
That's not sacrilegious, is it?
155
00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:59,500
No. I think it's just right.
156
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,000
And I was wondering if...if...
157
00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:07,500
Whatever you want, Helen.
158
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,100
I want a bedroom ceiling.
159
00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:14,100
You got it.
160
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,000
See, I flick this switch...
161
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:36,100
and the image is projected
onto a mirror...
162
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,200
and the picture
comes out here...
163
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,600
and it's perfect.
164
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,800
Well, almost perfect.
165
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,300
You know something?
166
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:56,400
People will never get tired
of watching these.
167
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:08,800
Lord, bless this food...
168
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,100
this family...
169
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,200
and make us ever mindful...
170
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,200
of the needs of others. Amen.
171
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,200
Let's eat.
172
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,100
Out here, hon.
173
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,900
Oh, there you are.
174
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:43,100
Looked all over for you.
175
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,200
What are you doing back here?
176
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,600
I was just examining
this rear hatchway.
177
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:50,800
Why?
178
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:55,200
It's pretty clear
that when the bomb went off...
179
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,700
the front entrance caved in,
so, you know...
180
00:12:57,700 --> 00:12:59,400
we'll have to return
to the surface...
181
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:02,000
using this back entrance,
which is very nice...
182
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000
because it has
the service elevator.
183
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,000
Unless it's caved in, too.
184
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,900
Well, yes.
185
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,200
You wanted to see me?
186
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,000
Yes. You ready, Adam?
187
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:13,400
Watch this.
188
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,900
He can stand up all by himself.
189
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,200
Show Daddy.
190
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,800
All by himself.
191
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,200
That's my guy.
192
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,400
Stand up.
193
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,000
My son.
194
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,600
Up, Adam...
195
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,100
to the moon.
196
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:47,400
Hey, boss,
what do you make of this?
197
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:48,600
Damn if I know.
198
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:50,000
Bet it's some kind
of septic tank.
199
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,000
I never seen a septic tank
that looked like that.
200
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:53,200
Well, don't fool with it.
201
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,600
If it is a septic tank, I sure
as hell don't want to open it.
202
00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:57,600
We'll just lay
the foundation over it.
203
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:07,400
"In won-der-land."
204
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:10,200
I'd like to see the public
school system match that.
205
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,200
I don't care how terrific it is.
206
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,500
But, honey, don't you think
he's a little young for school?
207
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,600
People have no idea what
the human mind is capable of.
208
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:18,800
Look, Daddy.
209
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,600
Alice went down the hole...
210
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,700
just like us.
211
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,400
Will I ever get to go up on top?
212
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,300
Yes. You certainly will.
213
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,300
And you'll find a nice girl...
214
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,900
rebuild America
just the way it used to be.
215
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:34,700
Oh, Calvin, I'm not sure
we should be making promises...
216
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:36,000
that perhaps can't be kept.
217
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:37,900
I'm convinced
there'll be other survivors.
218
00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:41,600
In fact, I'm guessing there's
life on the surface even now.
219
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,200
Not life worth living,
perhaps...
220
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,800
but believe me...
221
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,800
something is moving around
up there.
222
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,600
I'm gonna need two more
banana splits and a Cherry Coke.
223
00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:06,500
You bet, Mom. Comin' up.
224
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:09,100
Oh, by the way, Mom,
thanks for the job.
225
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:11,200
Buck fifteen an hour.
226
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:17,200
Your husband is crazy.
227
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,800
All right. What's the big news?
228
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,900
Oh, you're a riot.
229
00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:27,700
Oh, what a riot you are!
230
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:30,800
Watch this.
231
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,000
You're funny!
232
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,900
You're a real riot.
233
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,900
They're comin' now
to put you on the stage.
234
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:39,100
There's been complaints
about me on the bus.
235
00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:42,400
He's sending me
to the company psychiatrist.
236
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,000
Psychiatrist?
237
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,100
Yeah, a psychiatrist,
and that means I'm crazy.
238
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:48,800
Oh, don't be silly, Ralph.
239
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:52,200
Sending you to a psychiatrist
doesn't mean you're crazy.
240
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,200
Stick it. That's right.
241
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:55,700
Hook off the jab.
242
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,000
That's right.
243
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:02,800
Excuse me, boys, but I believe
it's my turn now.
244
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:18,600
Four, five.
245
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,400
Five, six.
246
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,800
And six, spin.
247
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,400
May I cut in?
248
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,000
You certainly may.
249
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,600
Thank you, son.
250
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,200
I miss those nice
flower-power kids.
251
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,700
How 'bout you?
252
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,800
What the hell
kind of music is that?
253
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,700
Oh, man.
254
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,300
I'm not sure I like that.
255
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,300
These are stock certificates.
256
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:03,300
Your Mom and I bought them,
for you.
257
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,600
Of course,
they're worthless now...
258
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,500
but at one time
they were quite valuable.
259
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,300
They're pretty.
Could I have them?
260
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,900
Sure.
261
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:18,200
Now let's move on
to our French exam.
262
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:21,300
Latin exam, Dad. It's Tuesday.
263
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,800
Gosh, it is Tuesday.
264
00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:27,900
Time flies, doesn't it?
265
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,500
Tempus fugit.
266
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:45,200
You have a wonderful
sense of humor, son, I must say.
267
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:50,000
The acorn does not fall
very far from the tree.
268
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,500
Gotcha, I gotcha.
269
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:05,900
This is wonderful.
270
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:09,000
That's my baseball card
collection.
271
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,300
It's yours now.
272
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,400
What's baseball?
273
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,600
It's a game, son.
274
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,500
I can explain it pretty easily.
275
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,000
You see, there's a pitcher.
276
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,400
Oh, like a painting?
277
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,000
No. A pit-cher.
278
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:26,400
Like one of Mom's?
279
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,300
No. There's a man
who throws the ball...
280
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,500
to a man who has a bat.
281
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,500
Oh, the nocturnal flying mammal.
282
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,500
I'm sellin' this place.
283
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,800
I want out of this hellhole.
284
00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:08,100
Could I, uh...
285
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,600
If you sell, uh...
286
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:13,700
Me, could I, uh...
287
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:15,400
Buy it from me?
288
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:17,000
Yeah! Yeah, that's it!
289
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:20,000
I'll give it to you.
No money down.
290
00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:21,200
Cool!
291
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,900
This neighborhood's
gone to hell anyway.
292
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,100
At last...
293
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,000
I am master of all I survey!
294
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,100
No, no. Listen...
295
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,600
I'm only gonna explain
this one more time.
296
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,400
The runner on second
goes to third.
297
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,400
It's--He's out there.
298
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:44,600
Why?
299
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:48,900
Because he's forced out.
It's--it's a force.
300
00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:50,100
Then why go there?
301
00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:53,200
Because...he must.
302
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,000
Coming.
303
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:00,500
Yes, dear?
304
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:02,500
You get the presents,
I'll get the lights.
305
00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:04,000
You bet.
306
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:10,300
Happy birthday to you
307
00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:14,100
And many more
308
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,000
Thanks, Mom. Thank you, Dad.
309
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,000
-Blow out the candles.
-Make a wish.
310
00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:29,200
Here.
311
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,500
Oh, boy! A jacket!
312
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:43,500
Your mom made that
all by herself.
313
00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:45,000
No kidding?
314
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:48,400
Who else could have done it?
315
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:50,100
I made these.
316
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,100
Holy cow.
317
00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:03,100
What the heck are these?
318
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,800
It's your roller skates. Yup.
319
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,600
I redesigned them.
320
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,600
These are really swell.
I mean swell.
321
00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,600
What did you wish for, son?
322
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:12,800
If he tells,
it won't come true.
323
00:22:12,900 --> 00:22:15,900
Oh, that's a bunch of baloney.
My family never believed that.
324
00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:18,700
Well, we did in my family.
325
00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:20,700
I wished that I could
meet a girl.
326
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:24,300
I hope a nice one?
327
00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:25,700
Yes, ma'am.
328
00:22:25,700 --> 00:22:27,600
One that doesn't
glow in the dark, I hope.
329
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:30,300
Calvin Webber,
what a thing to say.
330
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,400
Well, we'll be going up
in two years.
331
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:33,800
We'll know then.
332
00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:35,100
I'm very hopeful.
333
00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:37,600
Me, too.
334
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:38,900
Elbows, son.
335
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:41,700
I'm sorry, Mom. What the heck
am I thinking tonight?
336
00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:43,700
You never know.
You might someday dine...
337
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:45,400
at the White House
with the President.
338
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:46,900
If we still have one.
339
00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:51,200
You know, when we do go up...
340
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,600
I'm gonna miss this place.
341
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,000
How about you, hon?
342
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,000
Would you please excuse me?
343
00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:07,800
No, no, don't--don't get up.
344
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:24,100
[ Screaming ]
345
00:24:10,100 --> 00:24:11,800
Should we say a prayer first?
346
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,400
Just open the door.
347
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,200
Long time.
348
00:24:33,700 --> 00:24:36,400
Well, it's dirty, but...
349
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:41,800
it seems to be OK.
350
00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:47,700
I know you're happy.
351
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,800
Do we just go on up?
352
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,500
No, son.
353
00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:58,900
Now is the time we must
be at our most cautious.
354
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,100
We wait for night.
355
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:01,600
Oh, shit!
356
00:25:02,900 --> 00:25:04,500
Helen Thomas Webber...
357
00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:07,800
maybe we have been down here
a little too long.
358
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:10,600
Pardon her French, son.
359
00:25:10,700 --> 00:25:12,700
"Shit" is French?
360
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,700
Well, it's archaic French.
361
00:25:15,700 --> 00:25:18,700
It's a 16th century
colloquialism...
362
00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:20,500
meaning roughly "Good."
363
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,600
Your father's right.
364
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,700
Well...shit!
365
00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:43,400
All of these things...
366
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,200
Alcoholics Anonymous...
367
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,200
Cocaine Anonymous...
368
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,100
Heroin Anonymous--
369
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,200
There's a Heroin Anonymous?
370
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,500
Will you please...
shut up!
371
00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:55,900
Sorry. Sorry.
372
00:25:55,900 --> 00:26:00,600
All of these things ask you
to believe in a power...
373
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,600
greater than yourself.
374
00:26:02,700 --> 00:26:07,200
Well, I have lifted my eyes
skyward a time or two...
375
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,200
and I certainly have
not seen anything...
376
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,700
coming from up there
except a goddamn airplane...
377
00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:15,500
which I can't afford to get on.
378
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,900
Earthquake! Another earthquake!
379
00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:24,300
Let her come. Let her come.
Let's get this over with!
380
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:35,700
Oh, God.
381
00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,200
Oh, my God.
382
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,200
Oh, God, save me.
383
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:50,500
For I have seen the light!
384
00:27:00,300 --> 00:27:01,600
I come...
385
00:27:02,900 --> 00:27:04,400
in peace.
386
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:25,200
Leave my elevator alone.
387
00:27:46,300 --> 00:27:49,500
What happened to my backyard?
388
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,200
Got a light, honey?
389
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,100
A light? Yes.
390
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:33,700
I do have a light.
391
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:38,100
Good. Thank you.
392
00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:42,400
So...you survived the blast.
393
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,200
The blast?
394
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,500
Honey, I've survived
a host of things.
395
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:49,200
Like the song says,
the country boy can survive.
396
00:28:49,300 --> 00:28:51,200
Did you say
you were a country boy?
397
00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:53,000
Cute little old man...
398
00:28:53,100 --> 00:28:55,100
if you want a boy,
I can be a boy...
399
00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:57,200
and if you want a girl,
I can be a girl.
400
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,600
Hell, I can be
whatever you want me to be.
401
00:28:58,700 --> 00:28:59,800
Really?
402
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:01,300
Uh-huh, and it's all yours...
403
00:29:01,300 --> 00:29:03,300
for the remarkably low price
of two hundred dollars.
404
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:04,900
And if you act now...
405
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,900
I may even throw in
some free lawn furniture.
406
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,300
No. Thanks.
407
00:29:11,300 --> 00:29:13,300
Thank you. I have to go.
408
00:29:13,500 --> 00:29:14,600
Go on.
409
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,200
Get out of here, you old drunk!
410
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:26,900
Surprise!
411
00:29:35,100 --> 00:29:37,100
[ Screaming ]
412
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,400
I'm gonna give it to you
straight.
413
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,400
There's no point
beating around the bush.
414
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:44,800
There were survivors.
415
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:50,300
Apparently the fallout has
created a subspecies--mutants.
416
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:54,600
Not a pretty sight.
417
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:56,600
Some eat out of garbage cans.
418
00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:59,700
Others--cover your ears,
son, and hum.
419
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,400
I mean that literally.
Right now.
420
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:08,000
Others...are multi-sexual.
421
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,300
It seems they can be both...
422
00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:13,200
masculine and feminine
simultaneously.
423
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,000
-I don't believe it!
-Believe it.
424
00:30:16,100 --> 00:30:18,100
He tried to sell me his body,
Helen.
425
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,200
They offer lawn furniture
as a come-on.
426
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:26,700
All right.
427
00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:28,400
They have done
a lot of rebuilding...
428
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,100
though society,
at least as we know it...
429
00:30:31,100 --> 00:30:34,000
has totally collapsed.
People throw up in the streets.
430
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,300
Others point guns.
431
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,100
There's something terribly wrong
with the automobiles...
432
00:30:38,100 --> 00:30:40,100
and I can't tell you the rest.
433
00:30:40,100 --> 00:30:41,800
I just can't. Maybe someday.
434
00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:45,600
-What do we do now?
-We stay down here!
435
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,200
-We do?
-Yes!
436
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:48,300
We'll make do.
437
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,400
We have clothes,
running water from a well.
438
00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:52,900
I am convinced these mutants
will kill each other off--
439
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,500
No, Calvin, we won't make do!
440
00:30:55,500 --> 00:30:58,500
Not me, not Adam !
We're going up!
441
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,900
I don't care how horrible it is!
We deserve it!
442
00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:02,300
I am the head of this household!
443
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,400
I want him to see the sky!
444
00:31:04,500 --> 00:31:05,600
We will!
445
00:31:05,700 --> 00:31:07,300
The ocean! A mountain!
446
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:08,900
Do as I say!
447
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,000
Oh, Adam ! Oh, my goodness!
448
00:31:22,100 --> 00:31:23,300
Let's get him to the bedroom !
449
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,800
He seems to be doing
all right now.
450
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:29,600
I don't know
if he had a heart attack...
451
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,000
or just
a horrifying experience...
452
00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:35,700
but we need supplies,
and I've got to stay with him.
453
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:36,900
I'll go up.
454
00:31:37,900 --> 00:31:39,400
I'm afraid you must.
455
00:31:39,500 --> 00:31:41,100
I'll be all right.
456
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,200
My brave boy.
457
00:31:45,700 --> 00:31:47,400
Just act normal.
458
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,900
If anyone asks, simply say...
459
00:31:49,900 --> 00:31:52,800
"I'm from out of town.
I'm here on business."
460
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:54,000
Write that down.
461
00:31:55,300 --> 00:31:57,700
Now, I'm going to give you
a shopping list and some money.
462
00:31:57,700 --> 00:32:00,300
We'll need just enough to get
through the next year or two.
463
00:32:00,300 --> 00:32:01,800
You'll find most
of these items...
464
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,300
at what used to be called
a grocery store...
465
00:32:04,300 --> 00:32:06,700
or a hardware store.
Write that down.
466
00:32:06,700 --> 00:32:09,300
I don't know how far you'll have
to travel to find supplies...
467
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,200
but if you can't get home
by nightfall...
468
00:32:11,300 --> 00:32:14,000
I want you to look for something
called a Holiday lnn.
469
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,800
It's a hotel. Write that down.
470
00:32:15,900 --> 00:32:17,900
There might still be one
left standing.
471
00:32:20,900 --> 00:32:22,500
Well, let's get you packed.
472
00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:24,100
Right.
473
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,200
Just hope
this is still good up there.
474
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,200
-Say, Mom?
-Yes, dear?
475
00:32:28,300 --> 00:32:30,100
I was wondering...
476
00:32:30,100 --> 00:32:31,900
while I was up there and all...
477
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,400
I was thinking,
well, you know...
478
00:32:34,500 --> 00:32:36,100
I was wondering
if maybe I could...
479
00:32:37,500 --> 00:32:38,700
meet a girl.
480
00:32:39,700 --> 00:32:42,100
I've been thinking about that
a little.
481
00:32:42,100 --> 00:32:43,900
Just these last fifteen years
or so.
482
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:47,800
Adam, it would be wonderful
if you could meet a girl...
483
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,500
one who's not a mutant...
484
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:51,200
and hopefully
comes from Pasadena.
485
00:32:51,300 --> 00:32:54,200
Nothing against valley girls,
but in my day anyhow...
486
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:58,100
girls from Pasadena always
seemed a little bit nicer.
487
00:32:58,100 --> 00:33:02,000
Oh, and, son, there's also
something called a liquor store.
488
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,200
Write that down.
489
00:33:04,500 --> 00:33:05,600
"Liquor store."
490
00:33:41,100 --> 00:33:42,600
Yes, father?
491
00:33:42,700 --> 00:33:43,900
Don't forget.
492
00:33:43,900 --> 00:33:48,900
Stay out
of the adult book store.
493
00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:52,700
Why?
494
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:55,700
Poison gas.
495
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,800
Invisible.
496
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,300
Don't forget.
497
00:34:01,300 --> 00:34:04,200
I promise. Is that all?
498
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:11,500
One more thing.
499
00:34:14,300 --> 00:34:18,200
If you find
a healthy young woman...
500
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,600
bring her on down.
501
00:34:24,100 --> 00:34:25,400
Yes, sir.
502
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:49,500
Are you all right?
503
00:34:51,700 --> 00:34:53,400
O Lord, yes.
504
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:55,300
Are you the one
who came last night...
505
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,100
all in yellow?
506
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,300
Oh, that was my father.
507
00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:04,200
Oh! Of course. The father.
508
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:06,600
Forgive me.
509
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,600
Can you forgive me
for my wasted life?
510
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,600
Everything has been so awful.
511
00:35:11,700 --> 00:35:14,700
I know. It has been terrible...
512
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,300
but it's not your fault.
513
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,000
And now that
all the decay is over with...
514
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,700
things are going to get better.
515
00:35:20,700 --> 00:35:22,200
You understand?
516
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:28,600
Well, I have to go now.
517
00:35:28,700 --> 00:35:30,700
Of course! Of course you do.
518
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,400
I'll stay here and pray.
519
00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:34,500
Say, that's always a good idea.
520
00:35:36,500 --> 00:35:38,200
How do I leave this place?
521
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:40,500
The front door is open.
522
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:43,800
Will you be back?
523
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,000
I promise.
524
00:36:23,900 --> 00:36:25,400
What?
525
00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:26,600
What is it?
526
00:36:27,500 --> 00:36:28,700
The sky.
527
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:31,500
The sky? Where?
528
00:36:31,500 --> 00:36:32,700
Up there.
529
00:36:33,700 --> 00:36:35,000
I don't see anything.
530
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,200
Just look!
531
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,500
What is it?
532
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,600
He says he sees something.
533
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,600
What is it?
534
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,100
I see it, Mommy!
535
00:36:48,100 --> 00:36:51,600
I have never in my life
seen anything like it before.
536
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:53,600
Or like you.
537
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:02,500
What are you lookin' at?
538
00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:06,000
Oh, my lucky stars, a Negro.
539
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,200
Say what?
540
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:08,600
How do you do, ma'am?
541
00:37:08,700 --> 00:37:10,300
I do all right.
542
00:37:11,500 --> 00:37:12,600
Good.
543
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,800
What is it?
544
00:37:17,900 --> 00:37:19,000
What do you see?
545
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,600
We were just looking at the--
546
00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:23,100
-Oh, no!
-What?
547
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,200
Poisonous gas!
Run for your life!
548
00:37:25,300 --> 00:37:29,000
Run! Run for your life!
lnvisible poisonous gas!
549
00:37:34,100 --> 00:37:35,300
You know--
550
00:37:38,300 --> 00:37:39,500
I just want to say...
551
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:42,400
I think he's going to be fine.
552
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,900
Thank you, Calvin.
553
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,400
Thank you very much.
554
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:48,900
He's smart.
555
00:37:48,900 --> 00:37:50,300
Yes, dear, I know...
556
00:37:51,700 --> 00:37:53,500
but he's still such a baby.
557
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,400
He's a man.
558
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,200
Oh, he's a baby man.
559
00:38:00,100 --> 00:38:02,700
I tried to give
the driver this...
560
00:38:02,700 --> 00:38:04,200
but he wouldn't take it.
561
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,300
He seems kind of angry.
562
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,100
A lot of people do.
563
00:38:10,100 --> 00:38:12,600
Oh, boy. Here we go.
564
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:16,000
Hold on, everyone! Hold on!
565
00:38:16,100 --> 00:38:17,400
Wow!
566
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,600
So this is
public transportation.
567
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,800
My father says it becomes
more and more important...
568
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,100
because of pollution,
which is more and more...
569
00:38:25,100 --> 00:38:27,100
carbon dioxide and other
hazardous gases in the air.
570
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:31,600
Do you have a gun, by the way?
571
00:38:34,700 --> 00:38:37,800
Oh. Well, thank you
for not waving it around.
572
00:38:37,900 --> 00:38:39,600
And for not vomiting,
for that matter.
573
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:43,300
Say, do you know where
I could find a grocery store?
574
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:47,100
I have to find that.
That and a hardware store...
575
00:38:47,100 --> 00:38:49,100
a liquor store,
and a standing Holiday lnn.
576
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:53,100
There's a grocery store
up the street.
577
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,300
-Where?
-Up there!
578
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:57,000
Oh. Thank you. Driver,
please stop the bus immediately!
579
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,300
I wish to get off!
580
00:38:58,900 --> 00:39:00,700
Please stop the bus, sir!
581
00:39:05,500 --> 00:39:08,100
-Paper or plastic?
-Paper, please.
582
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,300
Do you have a club card?
583
00:39:12,700 --> 00:39:14,500
I need a price check
on register four...
584
00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:16,900
Diet Dr. Pepper, six-pack.
585
00:39:25,300 --> 00:39:26,700
Don't talk to strangers.
586
00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:30,300
Manager to the front for
check approval, register one.
587
00:39:30,300 --> 00:39:31,500
Can I help you?
588
00:39:31,500 --> 00:39:35,000
Oh, yes. I'd like to get
some all-beef patties.
589
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:36,200
Fresh or frozen?
590
00:39:37,100 --> 00:39:39,100
Come on. Frozen.
591
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:40,600
How much are they?
592
00:39:41,700 --> 00:39:44,600
Frozen? Six-thirty a dozen
in a three-pound box.
593
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,600
Twelve into nine hundred
is seventy-five.
594
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,600
That's almost five hundred
dollars just for the hamburger.
595
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:53,200
My mother only gave me three
thousand dollars for everything.
596
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:55,200
The yacht batteries,
the pipe tobacco...
597
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:57,200
the diesel oil, the bleach...
598
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:58,700
the floss,
the birthday candles--
599
00:39:58,700 --> 00:40:01,200
You could get a meat order
that big delivered to your home.
600
00:40:01,300 --> 00:40:02,600
Really?
601
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:03,900
Sure.
602
00:40:03,900 --> 00:40:05,900
Oh, that's terrific.
603
00:40:07,700 --> 00:40:10,900
Except it just occurred to me
that I don't know where home is.
604
00:40:12,500 --> 00:40:14,400
I'm lost.
605
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:15,600
Do you know where I live?
606
00:40:16,700 --> 00:40:18,000
Will you please excuse me?
607
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,300
Gladly.
608
00:40:20,100 --> 00:40:21,300
Thank you.
609
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,000
Driver, please stop the bus!
610
00:41:20,300 --> 00:41:21,700
The name's Adam Webber...
611
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,300
and I see that you buy
baseball cards.
612
00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:26,200
Although these are a lot older
than the ones in the window...
613
00:41:26,300 --> 00:41:28,300
I was hoping that you still
might be interested.
614
00:41:31,300 --> 00:41:33,300
How much you want for this
Mickey Mantle rookie season?
615
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,500
Well, I was hoping
to sell all of the cards.
616
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:38,900
Really? No kidding?
617
00:41:38,900 --> 00:41:40,400
All I have
are hundred-dollar bills...
618
00:41:40,500 --> 00:41:42,000
and I need something smaller.
619
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,700
Ones, tens, fives.
620
00:41:43,700 --> 00:41:46,200
I see what you mean.
Tell you what.
621
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:49,700
How about I give you
five hundred in small bills...
622
00:41:49,700 --> 00:41:51,000
for the whole box?
623
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:53,900
That would be wonderful.
624
00:41:53,900 --> 00:41:55,400
Aw, shit.
625
00:41:57,300 --> 00:42:00,000
I'm working here, Evie-poo.
Don't screw me up.
626
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,500
Yeah, I can see you're working,
all right.
627
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,100
Bon soir, mademoiselle.
628
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:07,700
Oh, you're French?
629
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:11,400
I'm from out of town.
630
00:42:11,500 --> 00:42:12,600
I'm here on business.
631
00:42:12,700 --> 00:42:14,700
Well, your business must not be
sports memorabilia...
632
00:42:14,900 --> 00:42:16,900
because this one
Mantle card right here--
633
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:20,500
worth six thousand dollars
all by its itty-bitty self.
634
00:42:20,500 --> 00:42:22,100
Get out of here!
635
00:42:22,100 --> 00:42:23,600
No, you get out of here.
636
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:26,400
Terrific. You're fired.
637
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:29,100
-I quit.
-No, no, no. I fired you.
638
00:42:29,100 --> 00:42:31,800
Just like the hair salon guy
and the Chevy dealer.
639
00:42:31,900 --> 00:42:34,700
You know why you can't keep
a goddamn job?
640
00:42:34,700 --> 00:42:37,400
'Cause you can't keep
your goddamn mouth shut!
641
00:42:37,500 --> 00:42:39,900
Excuse me, sir,
but I'd really appreciate it...
642
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,300
if you wouldn't take
the Lord's name in vain again.
643
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:44,400
You got a problem with that,
partner?
644
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:48,100
Yes.
I have a big problem with that.
645
00:42:49,100 --> 00:42:51,900
Come on, Heathcliff.
I'll walk you out.
646
00:42:53,100 --> 00:42:55,100
Yes, ma'am, but my name's Adam.
647
00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:59,200
Adam and Eve, the perfect match.
648
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,500
I hope the two of you
will be very happy together.
649
00:43:01,500 --> 00:43:03,200
Mazel-fucking-tov.
650
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:05,100
And don't come back, neither,
miss big shot.
651
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:06,300
I'm serious this time.
652
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,000
You're finished
in the hobby business.
653
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,200
Where are we going?
654
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:12,100
We? I'm going home.
Judging by that coat...
655
00:43:12,100 --> 00:43:14,000
you have to get back
to the barber college.
656
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,600
No. I'm lost.
657
00:43:15,700 --> 00:43:17,700
You're lost?
658
00:43:17,900 --> 00:43:19,900
Did you just lose your job
back there because of me?
659
00:43:21,100 --> 00:43:23,600
Forget it. I'm sick of working
for that dickhead.
660
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:24,700
Dickhead?
661
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,900
A walking penis
capable of intelligent speech.
662
00:43:27,900 --> 00:43:29,400
A dickhead.
663
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:31,900
What is wrong with you?
664
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:33,600
I just had
this mental picture--
665
00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:34,900
Help me pick these up.
666
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,000
Oh, thank you.
667
00:43:39,500 --> 00:43:41,000
Where are you parked?
668
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:42,800
I came on a bus.
669
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:44,400
Why does that not surprise me?
670
00:43:44,500 --> 00:43:46,400
Don't know.
Why doesn't it surprise you?
671
00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:49,300
Well, I guess because
I'm a little psychic.
672
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:50,600
I have this thing.
673
00:43:50,700 --> 00:43:52,600
Oh, that's nice.
674
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:54,100
Yeah. Let me guess.
675
00:43:54,100 --> 00:43:56,400
This is your first visit
to la-la land.
676
00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:59,100
You're staying in Hollywood,
because like an idiot...
677
00:43:59,100 --> 00:44:01,000
you thought that would be
an exciting place to stay.
678
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,000
-Am I right so far?
-So far.
679
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,000
-Yes, I'm right?
-Right.
680
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:06,300
I knew it.
681
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,200
So you get on a bus
and before you know it...
682
00:44:08,300 --> 00:44:10,300
you're stuck in the San Fernando
Valley without a clue...
683
00:44:10,500 --> 00:44:12,100
which brings us to here.
Correct again?
684
00:44:12,100 --> 00:44:13,300
Again.
685
00:44:13,300 --> 00:44:15,200
Where are you staying?
686
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:17,600
The Holiday lnn.
687
00:44:20,100 --> 00:44:21,400
That's exactly right.
688
00:44:21,500 --> 00:44:24,400
See? I'm psychic.
Not completely, but pretty much.
689
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:25,800
Pretty good, huh?
690
00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:28,700
No, it was amazing.
691
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:32,100
I know. Thanks. I'm gonna
predict a bus for you.
692
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:34,200
-You go down here--
-Do you own a car?
693
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:35,500
Oh, no, sweetie.
694
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,300
Rule number one
in North America.
695
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:39,200
No strangers in the car.
696
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:40,700
If it'll make you feel
any better...
697
00:44:40,700 --> 00:44:42,200
I don't have a gun.
698
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,300
Oh. Well,
that changes everything.
699
00:44:45,300 --> 00:44:46,600
Get away from me!
700
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,600
I said something wrong.
Please forgive me.
701
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,000
-Get away from me!
-I'll make you a deal!
702
00:44:53,100 --> 00:44:56,200
I will give you a Rogers Hornsby
if you take me to the hotel!
703
00:44:58,700 --> 00:45:00,100
Rogers Hornsby?
704
00:45:00,700 --> 00:45:02,700
He's yours.
I was holding him back.
705
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,900
Rogers Hornsby's worth
four thousand dollars.
706
00:45:05,900 --> 00:45:07,700
So what? I got two of them !
707
00:45:07,700 --> 00:45:10,900
And this many
Larry "Yogi" Berras...
708
00:45:10,900 --> 00:45:12,700
and...
709
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:15,100
For four thousand dollars,
all I have to do...
710
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:16,300
is drive you to your hotel?
711
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,100
-Uh-huh.
-That's it?
712
00:45:18,100 --> 00:45:20,100
I don't have to take
a physical on your spaceship?
713
00:45:20,300 --> 00:45:21,400
No, ma'am.
714
00:45:21,500 --> 00:45:23,100
What?
715
00:45:30,500 --> 00:45:33,100
So, Mr. Andretti,
first time on the freeway?
716
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,500
It's Webber. Adam Webber.
717
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:38,500
Mind if I change the station?
Better traffic reports on A.M.
718
00:45:38,500 --> 00:45:40,500
Sure. Wait!
719
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:42,700
What? What is it?
720
00:45:42,700 --> 00:45:44,600
Go back. You had him.
It's Perry.
721
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,100
Perry Como.
722
00:45:48,100 --> 00:45:50,100
You had him. Go back.
723
00:45:51,700 --> 00:45:52,900
OK. Just--
724
00:45:53,900 --> 00:45:55,900
-That's it.
-There.
725
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:03,100
I could die right now.
726
00:46:03,100 --> 00:46:04,400
Over this?
727
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:11,600
Listen to this part.
728
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,300
This is where it really
takes off.
729
00:46:14,300 --> 00:46:16,300
Wait for it. There!
730
00:46:19,300 --> 00:46:22,300
You are one scary
son of a gun.
731
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:37,800
You better slow down.
732
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,900
I can't help it. Perry Como
always does this to me.
733
00:46:40,900 --> 00:46:43,300
I just get so cranked.
734
00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:57,400
Card, please. End of service.
735
00:46:58,100 --> 00:46:59,900
That was wonderful.
736
00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:02,500
I've never felt anything
like that before in my life.
737
00:47:02,500 --> 00:47:04,400
Yeah, same here.
Don't forget your suitcase.
738
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:08,200
Thanks. You know--
739
00:47:16,300 --> 00:47:17,700
I would like to stay
at this hotel.
740
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,700
Fill this out, please,
and I'll need to see a card.
741
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:23,200
A card?
742
00:47:23,300 --> 00:47:24,800
Yes, sir.
743
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:27,800
Oh. Of course.
744
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:36,700
OK, then.
745
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,000
Bathroom's there...
746
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,000
TV's there--remote is on top.
747
00:47:42,100 --> 00:47:44,000
Room service menu on the table.
748
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:47,500
Wow.
749
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:00,100
Oh, you dial nine to get out.
750
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:03,100
Of what?
751
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:06,300
The hotel.
752
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:09,100
I see.
753
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,500
Thank you.
You've been very, very helpful.
754
00:48:14,500 --> 00:48:16,800
I managed to get some change
downstairs...
755
00:48:16,900 --> 00:48:19,500
and my father taught me
in situations like this...
756
00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:21,200
it's customary to give a tip.
757
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,700
Your father's a smart guy.
758
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:26,100
My father's a genius.
759
00:48:30,100 --> 00:48:33,800
All right, here's your key,
and good night, sir.
760
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:35,500
Good night. Sleep tight.
761
00:48:35,500 --> 00:48:38,600
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
That's what my mom always says.
762
00:48:38,700 --> 00:48:40,500
Who I'm really beginning
to miss, by the way.
763
00:48:41,900 --> 00:48:45,000
Sorry. It's my first night
away from home.
764
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:47,400
How old are you?
765
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:49,300
Thirty-five.
766
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:52,300
You don't look thirty-five.
767
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:53,900
How old do I look?
768
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,700
Oh, twenty-five, around there.
769
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:00,400
I guess living up here
makes people look older.
770
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,000
Up here
on the eighteenth floor?
771
00:49:04,900 --> 00:49:06,900
Yes, up here
on the eighteenth floor.
772
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:08,500
Good night.
773
00:49:24,100 --> 00:49:25,800
What the hell am I doing here?
774
00:49:25,900 --> 00:49:28,400
That's what I'd like to know.
Somebody tell me that.
775
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:32,500
Natural oils, tropical fruits...
776
00:49:32,500 --> 00:49:36,500
flora, nuts,
and protective sunscreens...
777
00:49:36,500 --> 00:49:39,100
a complete sun-care line...
778
00:49:47,700 --> 00:49:50,400
Hi. This is the woman
from the baseball card store.
779
00:49:50,500 --> 00:49:51,600
Remember me?
780
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,300
Hot-diggety-dog!
781
00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:59,000
Thanks for calling me
on the telephone.
782
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:08,200
I'm so glad to see you.
783
00:50:08,300 --> 00:50:09,400
I thought
I'd never see you again.
784
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,300
OK, down, boy.
785
00:50:11,300 --> 00:50:14,400
Listen, I can't take this
for driving you home.
786
00:50:14,500 --> 00:50:17,500
I wish I could, but I can't,
so, here, take it back.
787
00:50:18,700 --> 00:50:20,200
I would have left it
at the front desk...
788
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:21,500
but it's very valuable.
Take it.
789
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:23,100
I can't take that. It's yours.
790
00:50:23,100 --> 00:50:24,600
Take it, damn it!
791
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:27,600
Why are you doing that?
792
00:50:27,700 --> 00:50:29,300
Because I haven't brushed yet.
793
00:50:31,900 --> 00:50:34,700
Well, so long. Enjoy your visit.
794
00:50:34,700 --> 00:50:36,500
Wait. Eve, please wait.
795
00:50:36,500 --> 00:50:39,300
Please, do not follow me.
Don't do it.
796
00:50:39,300 --> 00:50:42,200
I knew this would happen.
You're like a lost puppy.
797
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:45,400
Can't you talk to me
for just one little second?
798
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:49,600
Damn, I should have
taken the money and run.
799
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:52,300
That's what Troy told me to do,
but did I listen? No.
800
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:56,100
Will you put your hand down?
801
00:50:56,100 --> 00:50:58,900
Who's Troy? Is he your husband?
802
00:50:58,900 --> 00:51:00,800
Or a boyfriend?
803
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:03,300
Thank you!
804
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:06,000
Stop that! Don't do that!
805
00:51:06,100 --> 00:51:10,000
Listen, I know you like me, OK?
I can tell.
806
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:13,200
But, you know what?
A lot of guys like me.
807
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:16,100
Not me exactly. It's my legs
or my butt or my hair...
808
00:51:16,100 --> 00:51:17,400
or some combination
of the above.
809
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:19,400
I think it's the eyes.
810
00:51:19,500 --> 00:51:21,800
The eyes?
811
00:51:21,900 --> 00:51:25,200
Great. An eye man.
Anyhow, it never works out.
812
00:51:25,300 --> 00:51:27,600
OK? Not that you even
need to know that.
813
00:51:27,700 --> 00:51:30,200
You look like crap.
What have you been doing?
814
00:51:30,300 --> 00:51:33,000
Watching television in color.
815
00:51:34,700 --> 00:51:36,300
In color? No kidding.
816
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,800
Cross my heart and hope to die.
817
00:51:38,900 --> 00:51:40,600
Yeah. See ya.
818
00:51:41,300 --> 00:51:42,800
Why doesn't it ever work out?
819
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:43,900
What?
820
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:45,800
Why doesn't it ever work out,
you and men?
821
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:47,800
Why? Who the hell knows?
822
00:51:48,900 --> 00:51:51,400
If you promise to leave me
alone, I'll tell you why.
823
00:51:52,300 --> 00:51:53,400
It never works out...
824
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:57,400
because I am into legs
and hair and butts myself.
825
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:59,200
So I wind up with guys
who are very good-looking...
826
00:51:59,300 --> 00:52:02,100
but even more shallow than I am,
if you can picture that.
827
00:52:02,100 --> 00:52:03,600
If you'll excuse me,
I have to go find...
828
00:52:03,700 --> 00:52:05,100
another low-paying,
demeaning job...
829
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:07,200
where some guy named Jerry
keeps telling me...
830
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:08,900
how lousy his marriage is.
831
00:52:08,900 --> 00:52:11,200
-Why not go to work for me?
-Doing what?
832
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:12,800
Helping me sell
all my baseball cards...
833
00:52:12,900 --> 00:52:14,000
and buying enough
food and supplies...
834
00:52:14,100 --> 00:52:16,100
to fill several large trucks.
835
00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:17,800
Food and supplies?
836
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:19,300
Who for, starving people?
837
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:22,900
They're not starving yet,
but they do need help.
838
00:52:22,900 --> 00:52:24,600
How long would you need me for?
839
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:26,200
Two weeks.
840
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:27,400
What's the pay?
841
00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:28,800
What's fair?
842
00:52:28,900 --> 00:52:32,200
I gotta make at least
a thousand dollars a week.
843
00:52:37,300 --> 00:52:38,500
You got it.
844
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:41,200
-Wait here while I get changed.
-Sure.
845
00:52:52,700 --> 00:52:54,300
Here you go.
846
00:52:54,300 --> 00:52:55,800
Why would someone need...
847
00:52:55,900 --> 00:52:59,400
twenty-six yacht batteries?
848
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:02,000
I don't know.
I just work for the guy.
849
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,300
And who does he work for,
the CIA?
850
00:53:04,300 --> 00:53:06,000
Pipe tobacco.
851
00:53:07,500 --> 00:53:09,100
I'm going to need all of this.
852
00:53:11,700 --> 00:53:13,600
Toilet paper.
853
00:53:15,700 --> 00:53:16,900
Is there a sale?
854
00:53:33,300 --> 00:53:35,300
Well, another day,
another dollar.
855
00:53:42,700 --> 00:53:44,100
Will you stop staring at me?
856
00:53:44,100 --> 00:53:45,300
Sorry.
857
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:47,600
I'll pick you up
at 8:00 in the morning.
858
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:53,000
You know, Eve, I was thinking--
859
00:53:53,100 --> 00:53:54,200
Good night.
860
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:16,500
We'll need to rent
a refrigerated truck...
861
00:54:16,500 --> 00:54:18,500
for the beef and poultry.
862
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:20,500
Well, it's your life.
863
00:54:20,500 --> 00:54:22,500
And by the way, it's a dandy.
864
00:54:25,300 --> 00:54:27,700
Think we're also going to have
to get another locker.
865
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:30,800
It's no problem. We'll just
sell another baseball card.
866
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:33,700
Coming down.
867
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,000
You know, Eve...
868
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:47,900
And--and don't get mad,
OK, but...
869
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:52,100
I would just be lost
without you.
870
00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:56,700
Thanks.
871
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:00,300
And I guess...
872
00:55:01,300 --> 00:55:02,700
I guess that...
873
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:03,900
I think that you and l--
874
00:55:03,900 --> 00:55:05,900
Adam,
don't even think about it, OK?
875
00:55:06,100 --> 00:55:08,400
I'm sorry.
I know that sounds mean...
876
00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:10,900
but it would be a lot meaner
if I didn't say it, OK?
877
00:55:13,500 --> 00:55:15,500
Let's take this truck back,
and I'm hungry.
878
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:20,700
Are you getting in?
879
00:55:26,300 --> 00:55:27,900
There's something else
I'd like you to help me with.
880
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:29,100
Name it.
881
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:31,900
I'm afraid this is going
to sound a little bit crazy.
882
00:55:31,900 --> 00:55:33,900
I'm sure it will.
883
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:35,100
Then forget it.
884
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:37,900
No, no. I'm sorry.
885
00:55:37,900 --> 00:55:39,100
What is it?
886
00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,300
Eve,
I want you to help me find...
887
00:55:43,100 --> 00:55:44,200
a wife.
888
00:55:44,300 --> 00:55:46,800
-A wife?
-Yes.
889
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:48,000
What for?
890
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:50,000
Because I want to get married.
891
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:51,800
Why?
892
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:53,500
Because I don't want
to be alone.
893
00:55:53,500 --> 00:55:55,500
Well, you can be single
and not alone.
894
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:58,000
Marriage bites.
895
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:00,300
-Bites what?
-The big one.
896
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:01,700
It does?
897
00:56:01,700 --> 00:56:02,800
Sure.
898
00:56:02,900 --> 00:56:04,000
Oh. I didn't know that.
899
00:56:04,100 --> 00:56:05,800
Everybody knows that.
900
00:56:05,900 --> 00:56:08,500
I mean,
ask my divorced brothers...
901
00:56:08,500 --> 00:56:10,500
or my divorced mom and dad.
902
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:12,600
Everybody knows that.
903
00:56:12,700 --> 00:56:14,000
They're all divorced?
904
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,000
Everybody's divorced.
905
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:22,700
What kind of wife
you looking for?
906
00:56:22,700 --> 00:56:24,500
Oh, um, well...
907
00:56:25,700 --> 00:56:27,100
one who's not a mutant.
908
00:56:28,100 --> 00:56:29,300
No dogs, huh?
909
00:56:29,300 --> 00:56:31,000
OK. Cool.
910
00:56:32,300 --> 00:56:33,800
And if it's possible...
911
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:36,200
I'd like to marry
someone from Pasadena.
912
00:56:41,700 --> 00:56:44,200
Um, when do you need her by?
913
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:47,200
Two weeks?
914
00:56:48,100 --> 00:56:50,000
Well, I can probably
get you laid in two weeks...
915
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:54,000
but to locate a non-mutant wife
from Pasadena...
916
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:55,300
will take some time.
917
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:58,200
That's what I was afraid of.
918
00:57:04,300 --> 00:57:06,700
What do you mean,
you can get me laid?
919
00:57:09,100 --> 00:57:10,700
Uh, can we talk about that
a little later?
920
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:12,400
-Of course.
-Great.
921
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,800
Lord, bless this food
we are about to receive...
922
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:20,700
and make us ever mindful
of the needs of others.
923
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:22,200
And bless my mom...
924
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:23,300
and bless my dad...
925
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:25,400
and bless my new friend Eve.
926
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:26,800
Amen.
927
00:57:37,500 --> 00:57:38,600
Get out.
928
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:41,000
-The engine is still running.
-Now! Get out!
929
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:42,100
Yes, ma'am.
930
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:43,700
-Stop the "Ma'am" crap.
-Sorry.
931
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:46,900
You almost got us killed.
932
00:57:46,900 --> 00:57:48,700
I told you,
I've never driven before.
933
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:50,300
Well, never drive again.
934
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:52,400
You said it would be easy.
935
00:57:52,500 --> 00:57:54,000
Well, I was wrong!
936
00:57:55,100 --> 00:57:57,000
-Say, is this your house?
-Yes.
937
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:58,100
I like it.
938
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:00,100
What are you
bitching about now?
939
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:02,100
What are you doing here?
940
00:58:02,100 --> 00:58:03,800
I forgot some of my stuff.
941
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:05,800
-Your stuff?
-Yeah.
942
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:07,100
Let me see that.
943
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,000
Oh, you came back
for your underwear.
944
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:13,100
Excuse me.
These are Ralph Laurens.
945
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:14,400
How'd you get in?
946
00:58:15,900 --> 00:58:17,000
Thanks.
947
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:20,300
And who's this
interesting looking fellow?
948
00:58:20,300 --> 00:58:21,400
This is Adam.
949
00:58:21,500 --> 00:58:23,000
Adam, this is Cliff.
950
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:24,700
How do you do?
951
00:58:24,700 --> 00:58:26,200
I do fine, Adam.
952
00:58:26,300 --> 00:58:28,600
How about yourself?
You, uh...
953
00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:30,300
doing any good lately?
954
00:58:30,300 --> 00:58:32,800
Go home, Cliff,
wherever that might be.
955
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:34,400
Sheena Gilroy's apartment.
956
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:37,900
You remember her. She's
the model who went to Harvard.
957
00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:42,300
Well, I'd better be going.
958
00:58:42,300 --> 00:58:43,600
Bye, Adam.
959
00:58:43,700 --> 00:58:45,700
-Nice coat.
-Thank you, Cliff.
960
00:58:45,700 --> 00:58:47,200
It was very nice to meet you.
961
00:58:47,300 --> 00:58:48,900
That's a nice parking job, too.
962
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:51,300
May I ask you a question?
963
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:52,500
He's a former boyfriend.
964
00:58:52,500 --> 00:58:54,000
We lived together
for about six months...
965
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:56,400
and, yes, I still have
sort of a thing for him.
966
00:58:56,400 --> 00:58:58,700
That's what you wanted to know,
isn't it?
967
00:58:58,700 --> 00:59:00,400
No. I was going to ask you...
968
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:03,100
why Cliff likes to wear
another man's underpants.
969
00:59:03,100 --> 00:59:04,300
What?
970
00:59:18,500 --> 00:59:20,900
This guy is unbelievable.
971
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:23,100
I knew you'd like him.
972
00:59:23,100 --> 00:59:25,400
I know. It's like he's from
"X Files" or something.
973
00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:28,600
He's got all these easily
negotiable properties, right?
974
00:59:28,700 --> 00:59:30,000
And he's obviously
setting up something big--
975
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:32,900
maybe a self-sustaining island
off the coast of South America.
976
00:59:32,900 --> 00:59:34,000
Or maybe he's the leader
of some cult...
977
00:59:34,100 --> 00:59:37,500
that's into practices involving
poultry and pipe tobacco.
978
00:59:44,300 --> 00:59:46,200
You have very nice ceilings.
979
00:59:46,300 --> 00:59:47,900
-Do l?
-Mm-hmm.
980
00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:49,800
Well...
981
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:52,600
you like ceilings?
982
00:59:52,700 --> 00:59:53,900
Not particularly.
983
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:56,500
Ah. Well, I hope you like this.
984
00:59:56,500 --> 00:59:59,200
It's fresh sea urchin
wrapped in seaweed.
985
00:59:59,300 --> 01:00:00,400
I love sushi.
986
01:00:01,300 --> 01:00:02,500
I love Lucy.
987
01:00:02,500 --> 01:00:05,300
Who doesn't? She's hilarious.
988
01:00:06,100 --> 01:00:08,500
Here you go--
one champagne cocktail.
989
01:00:08,500 --> 01:00:09,700
Oh, thank you.
990
01:00:09,700 --> 01:00:11,700
I thought only hookers
drank those things.
991
01:00:11,900 --> 01:00:14,300
Well, I know Mom
sure likes them.
992
01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:21,300
Well, dinner's in fifteen.
Why don't we sit down and chat?
993
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:24,600
So, Troy, what do you do
for a living?
994
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:26,600
Oh, I design web sites.
995
01:00:29,300 --> 01:00:30,400
And, Adam...
996
01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:33,000
where on Earth are you from?
997
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:34,500
Out of town.
That's all he'll say.
998
01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:36,500
It's a very small place.
999
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:38,200
People don't even know
it's there.
1000
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:40,400
And it's called?
1001
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:42,800
Maybe Eve can guess.
1002
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:44,000
She's psychic.
1003
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:45,600
Is she?
1004
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:46,800
Since when?
1005
01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:49,300
Since I got rear-ended
in Palm Springs.
1006
01:00:49,300 --> 01:00:50,600
Well, then,
Miss Dionne Warwick...
1007
01:00:50,700 --> 01:00:52,200
why don't you tell us
what town he's from?
1008
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:55,200
All right. Give me your hand.
1009
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:58,300
Oh, Lord.
1010
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:02,300
I'm not promising anything.
1011
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:06,600
-Are you OK?
-Mm-hmm.
1012
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:12,900
I see snow--
1013
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:16,200
Iots of snow...
1014
01:01:16,300 --> 01:01:17,900
way up north.
1015
01:01:18,500 --> 01:01:20,100
Are we getting hot?
1016
01:01:21,100 --> 01:01:22,100
Yes...
1017
01:01:24,900 --> 01:01:26,900
You live in Alaska...
1018
01:01:26,900 --> 01:01:29,800
and the only way in and out
of your place is by plane.
1019
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:34,000
And you definitely came here
for food and supplies...
1020
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:35,500
and to find a wife.
1021
01:01:38,900 --> 01:01:40,300
That was right?
1022
01:01:40,300 --> 01:01:42,300
Got goosebumps all over me.
1023
01:01:42,300 --> 01:01:44,100
I'm clairvoyant, butthead.
1024
01:01:44,100 --> 01:01:46,600
Why wouldn't you just go
to Nome...
1025
01:01:46,700 --> 01:01:48,000
to get supplies and a wife?
1026
01:01:48,100 --> 01:01:49,400
Isn't that a lot closer?
1027
01:01:49,500 --> 01:01:52,600
Yeah, right. That's where
you'd go to find girls--
1028
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:54,100
Nome.
1029
01:01:54,100 --> 01:01:55,700
He's gay, by the way.
1030
01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:58,700
Well, good for you.
1031
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:02,000
Well, we try.
1032
01:02:02,100 --> 01:02:03,600
Can I ask you some questions?
1033
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:07,500
When did Alaska become a state?
1034
01:02:07,500 --> 01:02:08,700
1959.
1035
01:02:08,700 --> 01:02:11,200
And who owned it before we did?
1036
01:02:11,300 --> 01:02:12,700
Russia.
1037
01:02:12,700 --> 01:02:14,200
And when did we get it
from them?
1038
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:16,100
1867--Seward's folly.
1039
01:02:16,100 --> 01:02:19,100
We purchased it for seven
point two million dollars--
1040
01:02:19,100 --> 01:02:20,900
a tidy sum then as well as now.
1041
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:22,800
I'm quoting my father,
of course.
1042
01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:24,600
All right,
what's the state capital?
1043
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:25,800
Juneau.
1044
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:28,200
Hello? It's Anchorage. Gotcha.
1045
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:31,400
Sorry. That's the largest city.
1046
01:02:37,700 --> 01:02:38,900
Where's he going?
1047
01:02:38,900 --> 01:02:41,600
He's going to check
your answers on his computer.
1048
01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:44,100
He has a computer?
1049
01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:46,200
-Sure.
-In the house?
1050
01:02:46,300 --> 01:02:48,300
No, actually,
it's in the backyard.
1051
01:02:48,500 --> 01:02:50,200
Of course it's in the house.
It's in there.
1052
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:51,300
May I be excused, please?
1053
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:54,400
Thank you.
1054
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:46,300
Who are you?
1055
01:03:48,300 --> 01:03:49,400
I'm the mother.
1056
01:03:49,500 --> 01:03:51,000
It's the mother!
1057
01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:11,200
Troy, I suppose
those tall buildings...
1058
01:04:11,300 --> 01:04:13,000
we saw this morning are new?
1059
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:15,500
Yeah.
Almost all of them, anyway.
1060
01:04:15,500 --> 01:04:17,100
The recovery's impressive.
1061
01:04:17,100 --> 01:04:18,300
Recovery?
1062
01:04:18,300 --> 01:04:22,000
Oh, yeah. They rebuilt
the freeway in only six months.
1063
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:23,800
-Really?
-Uh-huh.
1064
01:04:23,900 --> 01:04:25,900
That's amazing.
I'm very impressed.
1065
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:28,000
-Oh, well, that's impressive.
-Are you sure I look OK?
1066
01:04:28,100 --> 01:04:30,000
Oh, trust me, you look fabulous.
1067
01:04:30,100 --> 01:04:31,200
Thank you, Troy.
1068
01:04:37,500 --> 01:04:39,800
So, what do you think?
1069
01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:42,000
It works.
1070
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:44,000
Maybe I should show you
the entire trousseau--
1071
01:04:44,200 --> 01:04:46,100
shirts, sweaters, socks,
the whole thing.
1072
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:47,700
No. First, let's show her these.
1073
01:04:50,900 --> 01:04:52,300
Eve, can I skate
around your block?
1074
01:04:54,100 --> 01:04:55,800
How about it, Eve?
1075
01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:57,800
Can he skate around your block?
1076
01:04:59,800 --> 01:05:02,100
Just a few laps.
1077
01:05:02,100 --> 01:05:03,300
It won't take long.
1078
01:05:22,800 --> 01:05:24,000
Look.
1079
01:05:34,900 --> 01:05:37,200
Adam, will you go skate
on the bike path?
1080
01:05:37,300 --> 01:05:39,700
-Where?
-The bike path. It's over there.
1081
01:05:42,700 --> 01:05:44,400
God, I wish I could wear
those pants.
1082
01:07:44,100 --> 01:07:46,000
All right, girl, hit that ball.
1083
01:07:56,400 --> 01:07:58,000
I get it.
1084
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:00,000
I finally get it.
1085
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:02,900
You have to see it
to understand it.
1086
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:06,500
Because he must.
1087
01:08:17,700 --> 01:08:19,300
Haven't you ever heard
the saying...
1088
01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:21,800
"He hasn't got enough sense
to come in out of the rain"?
1089
01:08:23,400 --> 01:08:25,200
You know...
1090
01:08:25,200 --> 01:08:28,500
my father, who is a scientist...
1091
01:08:28,500 --> 01:08:31,100
says that everything
is a miracle.
1092
01:08:32,100 --> 01:08:33,400
Everything.
1093
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:36,600
Until recently, I wasn't sure
what he meant by that.
1094
01:08:36,700 --> 01:08:38,200
No kidding. Listen...
1095
01:08:38,300 --> 01:08:40,200
you still want to go
girl hunting tonight?
1096
01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:41,600
Oh, yes, I certainly do.
1097
01:08:44,100 --> 01:08:45,300
But, I mean, you know...
1098
01:08:45,300 --> 01:08:46,700
this whole business
of finding you a wife...
1099
01:08:46,800 --> 01:08:48,300
it's pretty ridiculous,
don't you think?
1100
01:08:48,400 --> 01:08:50,400
-No, it isn't.
-Yes, it is.
1101
01:08:51,700 --> 01:08:53,700
A girlfriend, maybe,
but a wife, it's...
1102
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:55,300
Well, then help me
find a girlfriend.
1103
01:08:55,300 --> 01:08:56,700
That's all I ask.
1104
01:08:56,700 --> 01:08:59,000
I'll tell you what. I'll give
you every single card I've got.
1105
01:08:59,900 --> 01:09:02,700
Screw you. You think I'm just
somebody you can buy off?
1106
01:09:02,700 --> 01:09:04,100
I didn't mean that at all.
1107
01:09:04,100 --> 01:09:06,100
Eve, you're my best friend.
1108
01:09:06,200 --> 01:09:08,900
Would you do it because
you're my very best friend?
1109
01:09:18,500 --> 01:09:20,000
Thank you, Eve.
1110
01:09:28,600 --> 01:09:30,300
Well, why did we park
way back there?
1111
01:09:32,100 --> 01:09:34,700
She doesn't allow total
strangers to drive her car.
1112
01:09:37,400 --> 01:09:39,700
-What?
-Ladies first, Troy.
1113
01:09:39,700 --> 01:09:41,500
-That was close.
-Uh-huh.
1114
01:09:42,400 --> 01:09:45,800
My goodness gracious,
this place is something.
1115
01:09:45,900 --> 01:09:47,100
Look unimpressed.
1116
01:09:47,100 --> 01:09:48,600
Yeah, bored, even.
1117
01:09:50,500 --> 01:09:53,000
Try vaguely bored.
1118
01:09:53,100 --> 01:09:55,400
Unimpressed,
but still interested.
1119
01:09:57,600 --> 01:09:58,700
Not crazy.
1120
01:09:58,800 --> 01:10:00,200
-Do I look crazy?
-Yes.
1121
01:10:00,300 --> 01:10:02,700
Just, uh, be loose.
1122
01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:07,000
-Just be yourself.
-That's always good advice.
1123
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:09,600
Well, for him. It doesn't work
with the rest of us.
1124
01:10:12,700 --> 01:10:16,400
Of all the clubs in all
the towns in all the world...
1125
01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:17,800
you walk into mine.
1126
01:10:17,900 --> 01:10:19,700
So welcome to Club 40's...
1127
01:10:19,700 --> 01:10:22,200
where the party never stops.
1128
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:23,400
Ah, Jason, Jonathan...
1129
01:10:23,500 --> 01:10:25,100
this is Adam.
Adam, that's them.
1130
01:10:25,200 --> 01:10:26,500
Hi. How do you do?
1131
01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:29,900
It's very nice to meet you,
Jason and Jonathan.
1132
01:10:29,900 --> 01:10:31,100
My mother always said...
1133
01:10:31,100 --> 01:10:32,800
that when you meet someone
for the first time...
1134
01:10:32,900 --> 01:10:34,900
it's always easier
to remember their names...
1135
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:38,200
if you use those names
right away, Jason and Jonathan.
1136
01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:41,100
He's from Alaska.
1137
01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:45,400
Hi there, Eve.
1138
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:46,700
Who's the hunk?
1139
01:10:46,800 --> 01:10:48,100
Get lost, Sophie.
1140
01:10:48,100 --> 01:10:49,700
Hi. I'm Sophie.
1141
01:10:49,700 --> 01:10:51,500
Hi. How do you do?
I'm Adam Webber.
1142
01:10:51,500 --> 01:10:52,800
Adam lives in Alaska.
1143
01:10:52,900 --> 01:10:54,100
No shit?
1144
01:10:54,100 --> 01:10:56,700
-Vous parlez français?
-Oui.
1145
01:10:56,700 --> 01:10:58,300
Moi, je parle un peu français.
1146
01:10:58,300 --> 01:11:00,100
Oh, you speak beautiful French.
1147
01:11:00,200 --> 01:11:02,000
J'ai habite à paris un an.
1148
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:03,700
Paris--
c'est la vie des lumieres...
1149
01:11:03,700 --> 01:11:05,100
-n'est-ce pas?
-Oui.
1150
01:11:05,200 --> 01:11:07,600
-C'est le pays d'amour.
-Bien sur.
1151
01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:10,100
C'est bien que
je vous aie rencontree...
1152
01:11:10,100 --> 01:11:12,100
parce que je n'ai pas
eu la chance de pratiquer.
1153
01:11:12,400 --> 01:11:13,800
Si tu veux,
nous pouvons pratiquer...
1154
01:11:13,900 --> 01:11:15,500
beaucoup de choses ensemble.
1155
01:11:18,100 --> 01:11:19,300
Tais-toi.
1156
01:11:20,900 --> 01:11:22,000
Au revoir.
1157
01:11:22,100 --> 01:11:23,300
Je m'appelle Adam Webber.
1158
01:11:24,700 --> 01:11:26,400
Quit showing off.
We're here on business.
1159
01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:27,800
I thought we were here
to meet women.
1160
01:11:27,900 --> 01:11:29,800
-Not that one.
-I like her.
1161
01:11:29,900 --> 01:11:32,400
Now, Sophie,
when you fly to Paris...
1162
01:11:32,400 --> 01:11:35,500
do you check these,
or are they carry-on?
1163
01:11:35,500 --> 01:11:36,900
They're carry-on.
1164
01:11:39,600 --> 01:11:40,800
Excuse me.
1165
01:11:47,500 --> 01:11:49,400
What are you drinking?
1166
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:50,900
Oh, this is a Rob Roy.
1167
01:11:50,900 --> 01:11:52,500
It's a very popular drink
I'm told.
1168
01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:56,100
How about her?
1169
01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:58,200
No way.
1170
01:11:59,800 --> 01:12:01,800
Why not? l--I think
she's very attractive.
1171
01:12:03,700 --> 01:12:05,700
She's got "bitch"
written all over her.
1172
01:12:05,700 --> 01:12:09,100
You do know what "bitch" means,
don't you?
1173
01:12:09,100 --> 01:12:11,100
Well, yes, I do.
I do have a dictionary...
1174
01:12:11,100 --> 01:12:12,800
but I can't understand
for the life of me...
1175
01:12:12,900 --> 01:12:14,800
why you would say that
about her...
1176
01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:17,100
or why Cliff would say that
about you.
1177
01:12:22,000 --> 01:12:24,000
I think for you
we should aim for...
1178
01:12:24,200 --> 01:12:25,500
sweet.
1179
01:12:25,500 --> 01:12:27,800
OK. I like that.
1180
01:12:27,900 --> 01:12:29,400
Yeah, sweet.
1181
01:12:29,400 --> 01:12:31,400
That's a lovely way
of putting it.
1182
01:12:33,100 --> 01:12:35,100
There's Miss Sweet over there
by the hors d'oeuvres table.
1183
01:12:35,400 --> 01:12:36,500
Look.
1184
01:12:36,500 --> 01:12:38,500
Oh, yeah, yeah. Could be.
1185
01:12:38,500 --> 01:12:41,100
Yeah, go on, Romeo. Say hello.
1186
01:12:41,100 --> 01:12:43,000
She looks
like a non-mutant to me.
1187
01:12:43,100 --> 01:12:44,500
OK. All right.
1188
01:12:45,500 --> 01:12:46,600
What do I say to her?
1189
01:12:46,700 --> 01:12:49,300
Oh, say something surprising...
1190
01:12:49,400 --> 01:12:50,600
something funny--
1191
01:12:51,800 --> 01:12:53,100
Lie, if need be.
1192
01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:55,500
-Lie?
-Oh, yeah.
1193
01:12:55,500 --> 01:12:58,000
Lying can be
a very effective dating tool.
1194
01:13:02,200 --> 01:13:03,800
All right.
1195
01:13:03,800 --> 01:13:05,200
Here I go.
1196
01:13:08,700 --> 01:13:10,300
I don't think
I want to watch this.
1197
01:13:10,300 --> 01:13:12,300
Surprising and funny.
1198
01:13:12,500 --> 01:13:14,400
Well, I know "the duck
who bought some lip balm."
1199
01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:17,100
Lie.
1200
01:13:22,700 --> 01:13:24,700
I was wondering
if you could help me.
1201
01:13:24,700 --> 01:13:26,700
I, um, seem to have lost...
1202
01:13:27,000 --> 01:13:28,300
my Congressional Medal
of Honor...
1203
01:13:28,300 --> 01:13:30,100
around here somewhere.
1204
01:13:32,500 --> 01:13:33,800
Now, that's a great one.
1205
01:13:36,900 --> 01:13:38,700
This is my new friend.
1206
01:13:41,800 --> 01:13:43,500
Hi. I'm Heather.
1207
01:13:45,700 --> 01:13:47,700
I don't believe I've ever
heard that name before.
1208
01:13:52,900 --> 01:13:54,500
Yeah, do you dance?
1209
01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:56,600
Why, I took a dance lesson
every day of my life...
1210
01:13:56,900 --> 01:13:58,700
up until a couple of days ago.
1211
01:13:58,800 --> 01:14:00,700
-You're kidding.
-No, no, I did.
1212
01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:03,800
Shall we dance?
1213
01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:05,100
-Sure.
-Yeah?
1214
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:11,500
Wait for me.
1215
01:16:19,900 --> 01:16:21,100
Is that your girlfriend?
1216
01:16:21,100 --> 01:16:23,700
No, no.
Will you please excuse me?
1217
01:16:25,500 --> 01:16:27,500
You -- you go to the bathroom.
1218
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:28,700
What, right here?
1219
01:16:29,700 --> 01:16:32,300
I thought I should check.
You're being so bossy.
1220
01:16:32,400 --> 01:16:33,700
Thank you both very much
for the dance.
1221
01:16:33,700 --> 01:16:34,900
Thank you.
1222
01:16:40,600 --> 01:16:42,500
I have to go to the bathroom.
1223
01:16:46,300 --> 01:16:49,600
-You wanted to see me?
-You're not from Alaska.
1224
01:16:49,600 --> 01:16:51,200
Where the hell did you learn
to dance like that?
1225
01:16:51,300 --> 01:16:54,200
And there are
no starving people, are there?
1226
01:16:54,200 --> 01:16:55,600
Why are you so angry with me?
1227
01:16:55,600 --> 01:16:57,900
What, you think
I'm some kind of sap?
1228
01:16:57,900 --> 01:16:59,700
No, I don't.
1229
01:16:59,700 --> 01:17:00,800
I admire you.
1230
01:17:00,800 --> 01:17:03,600
I fell in love with you
the very moment I saw you.
1231
01:17:03,600 --> 01:17:05,500
I want you to stop lying to me.
1232
01:17:07,100 --> 01:17:08,400
All right.
1233
01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:09,600
I'll tell you everything.
1234
01:17:09,600 --> 01:17:11,100
In 1962--
1235
01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:13,100
Well, well, well.
1236
01:17:13,100 --> 01:17:14,700
Don't we clean up nice?
1237
01:17:16,700 --> 01:17:17,900
Well, hello, Cliff.
1238
01:17:18,600 --> 01:17:20,200
How are you this evening?
1239
01:17:20,300 --> 01:17:22,000
Not bad...
1240
01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:24,800
though I do miss
that green sport coat of yours.
1241
01:17:24,900 --> 01:17:26,200
Oh, why, thank you, Cliff...
1242
01:17:26,200 --> 01:17:27,900
but that's my seat,
and I was just about--
1243
01:17:27,900 --> 01:17:29,800
Come have a drink up at the bar.
1244
01:17:37,900 --> 01:17:39,400
Sure.
1245
01:17:39,500 --> 01:17:40,700
Excuse us.
1246
01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:43,200
It's all yours.
1247
01:18:14,100 --> 01:18:15,600
Please excuse this interruption.
1248
01:18:15,600 --> 01:18:16,700
Oh, brother.
1249
01:18:16,800 --> 01:18:19,400
Eve, I don't mean to be rude,
and, Cliff, please excuse me...
1250
01:18:19,500 --> 01:18:22,500
but, Eve, isn't Cliff
just a butt with hair?
1251
01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:23,700
What?
1252
01:18:23,700 --> 01:18:27,100
I'm sorry. And legs--
Legs, butt, and hair.
1253
01:18:27,200 --> 01:18:28,300
And shallow as well.
1254
01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:29,500
Shallow?
1255
01:18:29,500 --> 01:18:31,400
Adam, why don't you go home?
1256
01:18:31,400 --> 01:18:32,700
Go back to the hotel.
1257
01:18:32,800 --> 01:18:34,500
Yeah, before I kick your ass.
1258
01:18:35,900 --> 01:18:38,800
I must warn you, Cliff,
I do know how to defend myself.
1259
01:18:38,900 --> 01:18:40,500
Oh, do you?
1260
01:18:41,300 --> 01:18:42,800
Stop it, you two.
1261
01:18:42,800 --> 01:18:44,700
Nice move.
1262
01:18:44,700 --> 01:18:47,200
Yeah, he's right. Maybe
we shouldn't fight in here.
1263
01:18:48,200 --> 01:18:49,300
I agree.
1264
01:18:53,100 --> 01:18:55,000
I'm sorry. He was going to...
1265
01:18:56,200 --> 01:18:59,100
Maybe we shouldn't fight at all.
I mean...
1266
01:18:59,100 --> 01:19:00,800
fighting's pretty immature
when you think about it.
1267
01:19:00,900 --> 01:19:02,300
It certainly is.
1268
01:19:04,200 --> 01:19:05,600
I'm leaving.
1269
01:19:05,600 --> 01:19:07,000
That's probably a good idea.
1270
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:08,500
I'm sorry.
1271
01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:13,400
Well...
1272
01:19:13,400 --> 01:19:14,600
good night, everyone.
1273
01:19:17,100 --> 01:19:19,400
I'm leaving, too, OK?
1274
01:19:19,400 --> 01:19:20,600
And you know what?
lf you want help...
1275
01:19:20,700 --> 01:19:22,500
you can ask Troy,
because I quit.
1276
01:19:22,500 --> 01:19:24,100
This is ridiculous.
1277
01:19:24,200 --> 01:19:26,900
You're ridiculous,
and I'm ridiculous.
1278
01:19:31,700 --> 01:19:33,500
I'll buy you another
Rob Roy, huh, champ?
1279
01:19:34,800 --> 01:19:36,300
Rob Roy for the gentleman.
1280
01:19:42,500 --> 01:19:43,700
Well?
1281
01:19:44,700 --> 01:19:46,200
He go back to the hotel?
1282
01:19:46,200 --> 01:19:47,800
He might have.
1283
01:19:47,900 --> 01:19:49,100
What does that mean?
1284
01:19:49,800 --> 01:19:52,500
That means
that we did not leave together.
1285
01:19:52,500 --> 01:19:54,100
Well, who did he leave with?
1286
01:19:54,100 --> 01:19:56,100
-What's that to you?
-I'm his pimp!
1287
01:19:57,000 --> 01:19:59,000
He left with those dancers,
didn't he?
1288
01:20:00,900 --> 01:20:02,000
You're the psychic.
1289
01:20:02,100 --> 01:20:04,100
Eve the psychic pimp.
1290
01:20:04,200 --> 01:20:05,500
You tell me.
1291
01:20:05,600 --> 01:20:07,400
Those sluts.
1292
01:20:08,600 --> 01:20:10,600
Then again, who isn't a slut
these days, huh?
1293
01:20:12,900 --> 01:20:14,000
Where are you going?
1294
01:20:14,100 --> 01:20:16,400
-To bed.
-To bed?
1295
01:20:16,400 --> 01:20:18,200
Sure. To bed.
1296
01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:20,100
I'm not the one
that's in love with the guy.
1297
01:20:21,100 --> 01:20:22,200
What?!
1298
01:20:23,200 --> 01:20:24,500
Now hold on!
1299
01:20:24,500 --> 01:20:26,500
Hold on just a minute.
1300
01:20:26,500 --> 01:20:28,000
In the first place...
1301
01:20:28,000 --> 01:20:30,000
I do not fall in love
with weirdoes...
1302
01:20:30,100 --> 01:20:32,100
who I've only known
for four or five days.
1303
01:20:32,100 --> 01:20:33,300
Yes, you do.
1304
01:20:33,400 --> 01:20:35,000
And I don't fall in love
with grown men...
1305
01:20:35,100 --> 01:20:36,500
who collect baseball cards!
1306
01:20:36,500 --> 01:20:37,600
Yes, you do.
1307
01:20:37,700 --> 01:20:40,200
Or pee in their pants
when they see the ocean.
1308
01:20:40,300 --> 01:20:41,400
Yes, you do.
1309
01:20:41,400 --> 01:20:43,200
Or have perfect table manners.
1310
01:20:43,300 --> 01:20:45,700
You know,
I asked him about that.
1311
01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:47,600
He said good manners...
1312
01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:49,100
are just a way
of showing other people...
1313
01:20:49,100 --> 01:20:50,600
that we have respect for them.
1314
01:20:50,600 --> 01:20:53,900
I didn't know that. I thought
it was a way of acting superior.
1315
01:20:53,900 --> 01:20:55,400
Oh, and you know
what else he told me?
1316
01:20:55,500 --> 01:20:56,800
What?
1317
01:20:56,900 --> 01:20:59,600
He thinks I'm a gentleman,
and you're a lady.
1318
01:21:02,200 --> 01:21:05,100
Well, consider the source.
1319
01:21:05,900 --> 01:21:07,700
I don't even know
what a lady is.
1320
01:21:07,700 --> 01:21:10,700
I know. I thought a gentleman
was somebody that owned horses.
1321
01:21:10,700 --> 01:21:12,200
But it turns out...
1322
01:21:12,200 --> 01:21:14,700
the short, simple definition
of a lady or a gentleman...
1323
01:21:14,700 --> 01:21:16,500
is someone who always tries
to make sure...
1324
01:21:16,600 --> 01:21:18,200
that the people
around him or her...
1325
01:21:18,300 --> 01:21:20,300
are as comfortable as possible.
1326
01:21:21,600 --> 01:21:23,600
Where do you think
he got all that information?
1327
01:21:23,800 --> 01:21:25,500
Oh, from the oddest place.
1328
01:21:25,600 --> 01:21:27,400
His parents.
1329
01:21:27,400 --> 01:21:29,900
I don't think
I got that memo from mine.
1330
01:21:29,900 --> 01:21:33,200
And now, I suppose, he's trying
to make those dancers...
1331
01:21:33,200 --> 01:21:35,700
feel as comfortable as possible.
1332
01:21:37,200 --> 01:21:38,700
He didn't go home with them.
1333
01:21:43,600 --> 01:21:45,400
Well...
1334
01:21:45,500 --> 01:21:46,900
He went home with Sophie.
1335
01:21:52,700 --> 01:21:54,200
She swept him out of the room...
1336
01:21:54,300 --> 01:21:56,600
whispering little French
sweet-nothings into his ear.
1337
01:21:56,600 --> 01:21:59,100
No, not Sophie. Not Sophie.
Don't tell me that.
1338
01:21:59,100 --> 01:22:01,600
So whatcha gonna do, go to
her place and kick the door in?
1339
01:22:02,500 --> 01:22:04,400
You're goddamn right I am.
1340
01:22:06,200 --> 01:22:07,500
You coming?
1341
01:22:07,500 --> 01:22:09,500
You kidding? Sophie'd kill me.
1342
01:22:11,000 --> 01:22:12,100
Coward.
1343
01:22:12,200 --> 01:22:14,700
Gentleman coward.
1344
01:22:32,400 --> 01:22:36,200
So just scare me, why don't you,
you stupid son of a bitch!
1345
01:22:36,200 --> 01:22:37,800
I'm really sorry.
1346
01:22:37,800 --> 01:22:39,000
What are you doing here?
1347
01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:41,000
You're supposed to be
on San Vicente Boulevard...
1348
01:22:41,200 --> 01:22:44,700
having unsafe sex
with that slut Sophie.
1349
01:22:44,700 --> 01:22:46,700
I know, and I'm really sorry.
1350
01:22:46,900 --> 01:22:48,200
I'm limping!
1351
01:22:48,200 --> 01:22:49,700
How attractive is that?!
1352
01:22:49,800 --> 01:22:51,400
What if this is for life?
1353
01:22:53,400 --> 01:22:55,400
-I--I was just gonna say--
-I know.
1354
01:22:55,500 --> 01:22:57,900
-And then she--
-I know, I know.
1355
01:22:58,000 --> 01:23:00,000
-And I didn't mean to scare her.
-Of course you didn't.
1356
01:23:00,100 --> 01:23:02,700
Nothing I do with her
ever seems to be right.
1357
01:23:02,700 --> 01:23:04,200
Used to be right up here
with the coffee.
1358
01:23:04,200 --> 01:23:05,400
Why don't people
ever fucking...
1359
01:23:05,400 --> 01:23:07,000
That's because...
1360
01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:08,700
you're a nice boy...
1361
01:23:08,700 --> 01:23:11,300
but what Eve needs
is a nice man.
1362
01:23:11,400 --> 01:23:13,200
Understand, champ?
1363
01:23:13,200 --> 01:23:14,400
Good night.
1364
01:23:15,500 --> 01:23:16,700
Good night, Troy.
1365
01:23:17,900 --> 01:23:19,000
You still here?
1366
01:23:19,100 --> 01:23:21,100
-Let me help you.
-No. I can do it myself.
1367
01:23:21,300 --> 01:23:23,300
I know more about first aid than
you know about baseball cards.
1368
01:23:23,400 --> 01:23:25,300
Now give me the stuff
and sit down.
1369
01:23:26,000 --> 01:23:27,400
Sit!
1370
01:23:28,900 --> 01:23:30,400
Let me see.
1371
01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:31,600
Give me your knee.
1372
01:23:33,800 --> 01:23:35,200
These pants are ruined, right?
1373
01:23:35,200 --> 01:23:36,400
I'd say so.
1374
01:23:36,400 --> 01:23:37,600
There.
1375
01:23:43,700 --> 01:23:45,200
Steady.
1376
01:23:45,200 --> 01:23:46,400
Ouch!
1377
01:23:46,400 --> 01:23:47,700
There.
1378
01:23:47,700 --> 01:23:48,900
Don't be such a baby.
1379
01:23:48,900 --> 01:23:50,900
Oh, I'm the baby?
1380
01:24:00,700 --> 01:24:02,200
Did, um...
1381
01:24:04,000 --> 01:24:06,000
Did you go to Sophie's?
1382
01:24:07,300 --> 01:24:08,800
Of course.
1383
01:24:10,200 --> 01:24:11,400
And?
1384
01:24:12,700 --> 01:24:14,000
She was hospitable.
1385
01:24:14,000 --> 01:24:15,500
Hospitable?
1386
01:24:21,200 --> 01:24:23,000
But...
1387
01:24:23,000 --> 01:24:25,000
it just wasn't
where I wanted to be...
1388
01:24:25,300 --> 01:24:27,200
so...
1389
01:24:27,200 --> 01:24:29,500
I left as politely
as I could...
1390
01:24:29,600 --> 01:24:31,500
and I found a taxi...
1391
01:24:31,600 --> 01:24:33,200
and I told the driver
to bring me here...
1392
01:24:33,200 --> 01:24:35,200
instead of back to the hotel.
1393
01:24:38,600 --> 01:24:42,200
There's a song
that Mr. Como sings...
1394
01:24:42,200 --> 01:24:44,000
called
"On the Street Where You Live."
1395
01:24:44,100 --> 01:24:45,300
Do you know it?
1396
01:24:46,700 --> 01:24:48,600
Sing it to me.
1397
01:24:54,100 --> 01:24:55,900
I have often walked
1398
01:24:55,900 --> 01:24:57,500
Down this street before
1399
01:24:58,600 --> 01:25:00,600
But the pavement always stayed
1400
01:25:00,600 --> 01:25:02,600
Beneath my feet before
1401
01:25:03,700 --> 01:25:05,700
All at once am I
1402
01:25:06,600 --> 01:25:09,300
Several stories high
1403
01:25:09,300 --> 01:25:12,200
Knowing I'm on the street
1404
01:25:12,200 --> 01:25:14,000
Where you live
1405
01:25:15,000 --> 01:25:18,000
It's a song
about a young man...
1406
01:25:18,000 --> 01:25:21,100
who's overjoyed...
1407
01:25:22,900 --> 01:25:25,300
just to be standing
in front of the house...
1408
01:25:26,300 --> 01:25:27,900
of the person...
1409
01:25:29,500 --> 01:25:31,000
that he loves.
1410
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:48,200
You know, l--
1411
01:25:56,700 --> 01:25:59,400
Adam, I know this is stupid...
1412
01:26:00,500 --> 01:26:02,300
but humor me.
1413
01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:08,000
Have you ever had sex before?
1414
01:26:11,400 --> 01:26:12,400
No...
1415
01:26:14,200 --> 01:26:16,900
How is that possible?
1416
01:26:17,800 --> 01:26:19,800
You better sit back down.
1417
01:26:23,600 --> 01:26:26,600
In 1962, when the bomb
was dropped on Los Angeles...
1418
01:26:26,600 --> 01:26:29,200
my parents
were in our fallout shelter.
1419
01:26:29,200 --> 01:26:30,600
That's where I was born.
1420
01:26:31,900 --> 01:26:34,700
We only survived because
it's a huge shelter...
1421
01:26:34,700 --> 01:26:36,700
as far as fallout shelters go.
1422
01:26:37,700 --> 01:26:41,000
My father worked on it secretly
for years.
1423
01:26:41,000 --> 01:26:42,100
When he had to...
1424
01:26:42,200 --> 01:26:43,700
he used contractors...
1425
01:26:43,700 --> 01:26:45,200
but always from out of state...
1426
01:26:45,200 --> 01:26:47,000
and always for only
a portion of the job.
1427
01:26:47,100 --> 01:26:49,700
He told them it was a secret
government experiment...
1428
01:26:49,700 --> 01:26:51,100
done through Cal Tech.
1429
01:26:51,200 --> 01:26:52,700
Now, my dad's not a liar...
1430
01:26:52,700 --> 01:26:55,700
but in this case,
he felt he had no choice.
1431
01:26:55,700 --> 01:26:57,700
Of course,
it had to be kept a secret.
1432
01:26:57,900 --> 01:26:59,100
We only had enough supplies...
1433
01:26:59,100 --> 01:27:01,900
to last three people
for thirty-five years.
1434
01:27:01,900 --> 01:27:04,600
The really tricky part
was the air-vent system...
1435
01:27:04,700 --> 01:27:07,100
but we were able to cut into
the flood-control sewer.
1436
01:27:07,100 --> 01:27:09,100
We...
1437
01:27:13,900 --> 01:27:15,800
What I would like to do...
1438
01:27:15,900 --> 01:27:18,600
is to take you with me
into the fallout shelter.
1439
01:27:19,600 --> 01:27:21,500
We could live there
with my mom and dad.
1440
01:27:22,700 --> 01:27:25,200
My dad said that if I found
a healthy young girl...
1441
01:27:25,200 --> 01:27:28,200
that...that I should
bring her on down.
1442
01:27:28,200 --> 01:27:29,800
Why, Eve...
1443
01:27:31,800 --> 01:27:34,500
you look plenty healthy to me.
1444
01:27:43,200 --> 01:27:46,200
I think it's time to call a cab.
1445
01:27:48,200 --> 01:27:50,800
Oh. Of course.
You're absolutely right.
1446
01:27:50,900 --> 01:27:53,300
I really shouldn't be over here
at this late hour.
1447
01:28:02,300 --> 01:28:03,800
Good night, Adam.
1448
01:28:10,200 --> 01:28:11,500
Thank you.
1449
01:28:29,700 --> 01:28:31,200
God damn, Adam !
1450
01:28:31,200 --> 01:28:32,500
Wait a minute.
1451
01:28:34,200 --> 01:28:36,200
Oh, look, I'm sorry.
1452
01:28:36,400 --> 01:28:39,200
I know. I took the Lord's
name in vain again. I--
1453
01:28:39,200 --> 01:28:42,000
No. There's an adult bookstore
back there.
1454
01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:43,700
I'll be right back.
1455
01:28:57,800 --> 01:28:59,100
Give us a sign!
1456
01:28:59,100 --> 01:29:00,200
-Amen!
-Yes!
1457
01:29:00,200 --> 01:29:01,600
That's all we ask.
1458
01:29:01,700 --> 01:29:04,800
Just give us some sort of sign!
1459
01:29:05,500 --> 01:29:08,400
Just show us
that we're not alone!
1460
01:29:35,800 --> 01:29:37,500
This is, uh...
1461
01:29:37,600 --> 01:29:38,900
Hi, Adam. I'm Nina Aron.
1462
01:29:39,900 --> 01:29:41,900
-Hello. How do you do?
-Very well, thank you.
1463
01:29:42,000 --> 01:29:44,600
I'm with the County
Family Services Department.
1464
01:29:44,600 --> 01:29:48,300
Eve tells me you've been
living in a bomb shelter...
1465
01:29:48,300 --> 01:29:49,500
most of your life.
1466
01:29:50,900 --> 01:29:52,100
Fallout shelter.
1467
01:29:52,100 --> 01:29:54,100
There is a difference.
1468
01:29:54,300 --> 01:29:57,700
Adam, I'd like to introduce you
to my associate Mr. Brown.
1469
01:30:02,100 --> 01:30:03,900
We want you to come with us...
1470
01:30:03,900 --> 01:30:05,900
so we can talk some more
about your experiences.
1471
01:30:06,100 --> 01:30:07,200
Come where?
1472
01:30:07,300 --> 01:30:09,000
My office.
1473
01:30:09,100 --> 01:30:10,200
For how long?
1474
01:30:11,300 --> 01:30:13,100
Well, that depends.
1475
01:30:13,100 --> 01:30:15,500
Well, I thank you very much
for the invitation...
1476
01:30:15,600 --> 01:30:17,200
but I'm very busy today.
1477
01:30:17,200 --> 01:30:18,500
Perhaps
I could see you tomorrow.
1478
01:30:18,500 --> 01:30:21,600
I think you should go
with Dr. Aron.
1479
01:30:22,700 --> 01:30:24,300
I think it's the best thing.
1480
01:30:25,700 --> 01:30:28,400
I think it's best for you.
I--I do.
1481
01:30:34,100 --> 01:30:35,800
All right, Eve. If you say so.
1482
01:30:37,300 --> 01:30:38,400
I do.
1483
01:30:41,300 --> 01:30:43,200
Could I please just go home?
1484
01:30:43,300 --> 01:30:45,700
I was lost,
but I found home this morning.
1485
01:30:45,800 --> 01:30:48,100
And if I can just go home...
1486
01:30:48,100 --> 01:30:50,100
I promise I'll never bother
any of you ever again.
1487
01:30:51,900 --> 01:30:53,800
Let's go talk first.
1488
01:30:58,000 --> 01:30:59,000
Yes Ma'am.
1489
01:31:02,500 --> 01:31:03,500
Bye Adam.
1490
01:31:06,300 --> 01:31:07,300
Bye Troy.
1491
01:31:14,700 --> 01:31:16,200
You'll be hearing from me.
1492
01:31:21,200 --> 01:31:22,500
What?!
1493
01:31:22,600 --> 01:31:24,200
What was I supposed to do?
1494
01:31:24,200 --> 01:31:26,200
He told me he wanted
to take me underground.
1495
01:31:26,200 --> 01:31:27,600
That's like
"Silence of the Lambs."
1496
01:31:27,600 --> 01:31:29,100
It's crazy!
1497
01:31:30,200 --> 01:31:32,700
Yeah. You did the right thing.
1498
01:31:38,700 --> 01:31:40,100
Where you going?
1499
01:31:41,600 --> 01:31:43,100
Oh, my God.
1500
01:31:43,100 --> 01:31:45,400
All right, don't worry.
He'll catch him.
1501
01:31:45,400 --> 01:31:47,000
Yes, this is Nina Aron.
1502
01:31:47,000 --> 01:31:49,500
I've got a runaway, and I'm
going to need police assistance.
1503
01:31:49,500 --> 01:31:52,500
-No, you cannot call them.
-Honey, I have to.
1504
01:31:52,500 --> 01:31:54,900
If a complaint is made
and the person resists--
1505
01:31:54,900 --> 01:31:56,300
No! I cannot have that!
1506
01:31:56,400 --> 01:32:00,200
They'll come with their cars
and their guns and--
1507
01:32:00,200 --> 01:32:01,300
All right. Calm down.
1508
01:32:01,300 --> 01:32:02,700
Now, that young man
needs help...
1509
01:32:02,700 --> 01:32:04,400
and you need protection
from him.
1510
01:32:04,400 --> 01:32:05,700
I was frightened!
1511
01:32:05,700 --> 01:32:08,800
I didn't know what to think,
but, you know...
1512
01:32:08,900 --> 01:32:10,300
I believe him.
1513
01:32:10,400 --> 01:32:11,800
I think he just--
1514
01:32:11,900 --> 01:32:14,600
I really think
he wants to go home--
1515
01:32:14,700 --> 01:32:16,100
wherever that might be.
1516
01:32:16,100 --> 01:32:17,700
Everybody has to calm down.
1517
01:32:17,700 --> 01:32:19,200
That's the most important thing.
1518
01:32:20,700 --> 01:32:22,200
You can have
all my baseball cards...
1519
01:32:22,200 --> 01:32:23,400
and don't forget
to pay my bills.
1520
01:32:23,400 --> 01:32:25,100
Young man, you stop right there!
1521
01:32:25,100 --> 01:32:27,500
Stop! Don't get in that truck!
1522
01:32:28,700 --> 01:32:30,000
You gotta stop trying
to drive this truck.
1523
01:32:31,500 --> 01:32:33,100
Thanks for always being happy.
1524
01:32:33,100 --> 01:32:35,100
-What?
-Gay.
1525
01:32:40,200 --> 01:32:43,000
That's my car,
you son of a bitch!
1526
01:32:43,700 --> 01:32:45,200
Where the hell have you been?
1527
01:32:45,200 --> 01:32:46,400
I fell down.
1528
01:32:46,400 --> 01:32:48,400
You guys get the license number
on that truck?
1529
01:32:48,400 --> 01:32:51,500
What are you asking them for?
They're as screwed up as he is!
1530
01:32:51,600 --> 01:32:53,900
Hey, everybody keep calm.
That's the important thing.
1531
01:32:53,900 --> 01:32:55,700
Who you talking to,
you stupid...
1532
01:33:06,500 --> 01:33:07,900
Mom, Dad...
1533
01:33:08,900 --> 01:33:10,400
I'm home.
1534
01:33:17,500 --> 01:33:19,800
I've got almost everything
we need.
1535
01:33:19,900 --> 01:33:21,400
And this nice man...
1536
01:33:21,400 --> 01:33:22,900
Archbishop Melker.
1537
01:33:22,900 --> 01:33:24,400
We've met previously.
1538
01:33:24,400 --> 01:33:25,900
...and his church group
1539
01:33:25,900 --> 01:33:27,300
have volunteered
to help bring it down...
1540
01:33:27,400 --> 01:33:28,800
but we've gotta hurry.
1541
01:33:28,900 --> 01:33:30,500
Are you in trouble, son?
1542
01:33:30,600 --> 01:33:32,500
I think I'm being chased
by a psychiatrist.
1543
01:33:32,600 --> 01:33:34,000
A psychiatrist?
1544
01:33:34,100 --> 01:33:35,200
It happens.
1545
01:33:35,200 --> 01:33:36,700
Oh, my goodness.
1546
01:33:36,700 --> 01:33:38,700
How bad is it up there?
1547
01:33:39,000 --> 01:33:41,000
Horrible.
1548
01:33:42,600 --> 01:33:44,900
There's something
on your forehead.
1549
01:33:45,900 --> 01:33:47,200
I know.
1550
01:34:24,500 --> 01:34:25,600
Is this it?
1551
01:34:29,700 --> 01:34:32,500
Well, what are we gonna do
with it?
1552
01:34:32,600 --> 01:34:34,000
Give it back to him.
1553
01:34:34,000 --> 01:34:35,700
And what if we can't find him?
1554
01:34:35,700 --> 01:34:37,200
We'll find him.
1555
01:34:37,200 --> 01:34:38,400
Well...
1556
01:35:02,000 --> 01:35:04,900
Eve, look what I found
in the suitcase.
1557
01:35:04,900 --> 01:35:06,400
It's stock certificates.
1558
01:35:06,400 --> 01:35:08,000
I mean, it's got, like--
1559
01:35:08,000 --> 01:35:11,800
It's got, like,
IBM and AT&T and Polaroid and...
1560
01:35:11,900 --> 01:35:13,700
"Ipana"?
1561
01:35:13,700 --> 01:35:15,700
I remember this brand.
1562
01:35:15,700 --> 01:35:17,700
I didn't know
they still made this.
1563
01:35:20,500 --> 01:35:22,800
Oh. Look at this.
1564
01:35:22,900 --> 01:35:25,400
It says "Trademark 1961."
1565
01:35:29,800 --> 01:35:32,200
Hurry, my friends!
We have no time to waste!
1566
01:35:32,200 --> 01:35:33,600
The son has spoken!
1567
01:35:33,600 --> 01:35:35,100
Let's step it up!
1568
01:35:35,100 --> 01:35:39,200
Leave my elevator alone
1569
01:35:39,200 --> 01:35:42,000
We're losing a ride!
1570
01:35:42,000 --> 01:35:44,000
Purchased in 1958 and '59...
1571
01:35:44,300 --> 01:35:46,600
ten thousand shares of each?
1572
01:35:46,700 --> 01:35:48,100
They'd be worth millions.
1573
01:35:48,100 --> 01:35:49,200
Hell, I don't know.
1574
01:35:49,300 --> 01:35:51,200
Millions upon millions...
1575
01:35:51,200 --> 01:35:52,600
Upon millions.
1576
01:35:53,600 --> 01:35:55,200
The stocks,
the baseball cards...
1577
01:35:55,200 --> 01:35:56,900
the clothes...
1578
01:35:56,900 --> 01:35:58,600
the toothpaste.
1579
01:35:59,700 --> 01:36:01,000
The guy's on the level.
1580
01:36:03,700 --> 01:36:06,100
Eve,
a man walks into your life...
1581
01:36:06,200 --> 01:36:08,200
who's the kindest,
most polite...
1582
01:36:08,200 --> 01:36:10,200
most incredibly rich guy
you've ever met.
1583
01:36:10,400 --> 01:36:12,000
And I have him committed.
1584
01:36:14,200 --> 01:36:15,700
Yes, you did.
1585
01:36:19,000 --> 01:36:20,800
Well...
1586
01:36:20,800 --> 01:36:22,800
at least I fell for him
before I found out he was rich.
1587
01:36:23,000 --> 01:36:24,200
That's new.
1588
01:36:26,900 --> 01:36:29,300
He said today
he knew where home was.
1589
01:36:29,400 --> 01:36:31,000
Where'd you guys go
this morning?
1590
01:36:32,200 --> 01:36:34,700
Just to pick up frozen poultry.
1591
01:36:34,700 --> 01:36:35,800
Then?
1592
01:36:35,900 --> 01:36:37,700
Then back to the house.
1593
01:36:37,700 --> 01:36:39,200
You didn't stop anywhere?
1594
01:36:42,200 --> 01:36:44,200
We did.
We stopped at a porn shop.
1595
01:36:45,400 --> 01:36:46,700
Yeah, we stopped
at this adult bookstore.
1596
01:36:46,800 --> 01:36:49,200
Adam was very excited to see it.
1597
01:36:49,200 --> 01:36:51,200
Adam was very excited
to see porn?
1598
01:36:53,600 --> 01:36:57,000
Eve, do you think
maybe his home is underneath...
1599
01:36:57,100 --> 01:36:58,800
a dirty book store
in the valley?
1600
01:37:04,700 --> 01:37:05,800
This is it?
1601
01:37:05,800 --> 01:37:07,700
Yeah. Yeah, this is the place.
1602
01:37:33,200 --> 01:37:35,200
Do you have a basement?
1603
01:37:35,200 --> 01:37:39,500
Believe me, all the really
good stuff is right up front.
1604
01:37:41,400 --> 01:37:43,200
Is there a back entrance
or something?
1605
01:37:43,200 --> 01:37:45,200
Are you kidding? Of course.
1606
01:37:45,300 --> 01:37:47,200
Nice kid. Nice kid.
1607
01:37:50,300 --> 01:37:53,200
What are we looking for?
This is ridiculous.
1608
01:37:53,200 --> 01:37:56,200
Why would they put a fallout
shelter under a porn shop?
1609
01:37:56,200 --> 01:37:57,600
None of this was here
back in '62.
1610
01:37:57,700 --> 01:38:00,200
Back then this was all,
like, cute little homes...
1611
01:38:00,200 --> 01:38:03,100
and, you know, fruit orchards.
1612
01:38:03,200 --> 01:38:05,200
We've come a long way,
haven't we?
1613
01:38:07,200 --> 01:38:08,800
I wanna go home.
1614
01:38:08,800 --> 01:38:10,800
Yeah. Maybe he'll call, huh?
1615
01:38:14,200 --> 01:38:15,700
This is Adam.
1616
01:38:17,000 --> 01:38:20,100
Look, I just wanted to thank you
for everything you did for me.
1617
01:38:20,200 --> 01:38:21,700
And...
1618
01:38:21,700 --> 01:38:23,400
I wanted to tell you that l...
1619
01:38:24,700 --> 01:38:26,200
that, uh...
1620
01:38:26,200 --> 01:38:29,500
that I--that I wish
so many good things for you.
1621
01:38:29,500 --> 01:38:33,200
I wish so hard that
all of your dreams come true.
1622
01:38:33,200 --> 01:38:34,700
And...
1623
01:38:34,700 --> 01:38:37,200
and that--
and that's all I...
1624
01:38:37,200 --> 01:38:38,700
And that's all.
1625
01:39:03,800 --> 01:39:06,300
Your ride stinks!
1626
01:39:10,700 --> 01:39:12,500
Stay outta here, you drunk!
1627
01:39:39,000 --> 01:39:40,900
Adam..?
1628
01:40:18,700 --> 01:40:20,700
How long you gonna set it for
this time?
1629
01:40:20,700 --> 01:40:22,600
I thought ten years.
1630
01:40:23,700 --> 01:40:25,200
Well, it's...
1631
01:40:25,200 --> 01:40:28,200
considerably shorter
than before, but...
1632
01:40:29,200 --> 01:40:31,700
I was wondering, Calvin,
I mean...
1633
01:40:31,700 --> 01:40:33,200
why set the locks at all?
1634
01:40:33,300 --> 01:40:35,000
I mean, the radiation's gone.
1635
01:40:35,100 --> 01:40:37,600
To keep what's up there
from getting down here.
1636
01:40:37,600 --> 01:40:40,100
It's not radiation
I'm worried about.
1637
01:40:52,700 --> 01:40:54,100
I would like for you to meet...
1638
01:40:54,100 --> 01:40:55,900
Miss Eve Vrustikov.
1639
01:41:01,000 --> 01:41:03,800
Adam's told me
such wonderful things about you.
1640
01:41:03,800 --> 01:41:05,500
Oh, honey...
1641
01:41:05,500 --> 01:41:07,200
excuse us, please.
1642
01:41:07,200 --> 01:41:09,200
We haven't entertained
a guest...
1643
01:41:09,200 --> 01:41:10,700
In quite some time.
1644
01:41:10,700 --> 01:41:13,800
Oh, Eve, what--
what can I offer you?
1645
01:41:13,900 --> 01:41:15,600
Mom, Eve and I have to go.
1646
01:41:15,600 --> 01:41:17,300
Oh, Adam, you just got here.
1647
01:41:17,300 --> 01:41:18,800
I can't explain right now...
1648
01:41:18,800 --> 01:41:20,800
but I want you to set the locks
for two months.
1649
01:41:20,800 --> 01:41:22,500
You've got more than enough
of everything...
1650
01:41:22,600 --> 01:41:24,500
and then we'll be right back
to get you.
1651
01:41:24,600 --> 01:41:26,100
But I don't understand.
1652
01:41:26,200 --> 01:41:28,100
And I'm asking you
to trust me...
1653
01:41:28,200 --> 01:41:29,500
without understanding why.
1654
01:41:29,500 --> 01:41:31,200
In that case, of course.
1655
01:41:31,200 --> 01:41:33,200
Oh, of course, son.
1656
01:41:33,200 --> 01:41:35,700
They really are
wonderful parents.
1657
01:41:37,100 --> 01:41:40,200
Oh, Adam, could you at least
stay for dinner?
1658
01:41:40,300 --> 01:41:41,900
Well...she...
1659
01:41:42,000 --> 01:41:43,100
You must.
1660
01:41:45,600 --> 01:41:47,200
Perfect.
1661
01:41:47,300 --> 01:41:49,300
Now tell me
if you heard this one.
1662
01:41:49,500 --> 01:41:51,500
Duck walks into a drugstore.
1663
01:41:51,700 --> 01:41:53,700
This gravy
is an old favorite of Calvin's.
1664
01:41:53,900 --> 01:41:57,100
Now, Eve,
the platter's down here.
1665
01:41:57,100 --> 01:41:59,000
Would you get that, honey?
1666
01:41:59,100 --> 01:42:02,200
The sperm swims toward the egg.
1667
01:42:03,200 --> 01:42:04,300
Into the egg.
1668
01:42:04,400 --> 01:42:06,700
-Why?
-Because it must.
1669
01:42:06,700 --> 01:42:08,000
But why?
1670
01:42:08,000 --> 01:42:10,700
Because it's out there.
1671
01:42:12,000 --> 01:42:15,500
I don't mean to be nosy,
but are you and Adam dating?
1672
01:42:15,600 --> 01:42:17,000
Yeah, we are.
1673
01:42:19,200 --> 01:42:21,200
And I'm from Pasadena.
1674
01:42:25,700 --> 01:42:28,200
And you thought
your parents were weird.
1675
01:42:30,400 --> 01:42:32,300
It's truly amazing
what you can get done...
1676
01:42:32,400 --> 01:42:33,700
when you have unlimited funds.
1677
01:42:33,700 --> 01:42:36,400
Do you know you can have
whole houses built...
1678
01:42:36,400 --> 01:42:38,400
in just a matter of months?
1679
01:42:38,400 --> 01:42:40,700
It's like the Garden of Eden,
don't you think?
1680
01:42:40,700 --> 01:42:42,300
All you have to say is this...
1681
01:42:42,400 --> 01:42:43,900
"I don't care what it costs."
1682
01:42:43,900 --> 01:42:45,100
And then, of course,
you've got to really mean it...
1683
01:42:45,100 --> 01:42:46,800
which no one ever does.
1684
01:42:47,700 --> 01:42:50,200
It took a while to convince
Archbishop Melker...
1685
01:42:50,300 --> 01:42:51,700
that Adam wasn't God...
1686
01:42:51,800 --> 01:42:54,100
and he was pretty broken up
about it, too...
1687
01:42:54,100 --> 01:42:55,600
until I showed him my plans...
1688
01:42:55,700 --> 01:42:58,200
for Los Angeles' hottest
and most original night spot.
1689
01:42:58,200 --> 01:42:59,700
It's my goddamned malt shop.
1690
01:42:59,800 --> 01:43:02,200
Now let's just figure out
what's gonna happen here.
1691
01:43:02,200 --> 01:43:04,200
Now I want
the whole ownership...
1692
01:43:04,200 --> 01:43:06,200
of everything downstairs, right?
1693
01:43:06,200 --> 01:43:08,800
I want one of my guys
at the door.
1694
01:43:11,700 --> 01:43:13,700
Our idea
was to bring Adam's parents...
1695
01:43:13,800 --> 01:43:16,500
up to the surface very slowly...
1696
01:43:16,500 --> 01:43:18,000
make them very comfortable...
1697
01:43:18,000 --> 01:43:20,000
and then break
the bad news to them...
1698
01:43:20,100 --> 01:43:22,500
that there was
no nuclear holocaust.
1699
01:43:50,900 --> 01:43:52,900
Oh, son.
1700
01:43:58,300 --> 01:44:00,800
And here you go. Oh, careful.
1701
01:44:08,000 --> 01:44:09,800
It's hot.
1702
01:44:09,900 --> 01:44:11,900
Careful.
1703
01:44:14,500 --> 01:44:16,500
Have you ever in your life...
1704
01:44:16,700 --> 01:44:19,200
seen a son who did more
for his parents?
1705
01:44:20,200 --> 01:44:22,200
This is beautiful.
1706
01:44:23,700 --> 01:44:26,200
It's absolutely beautiful.
1707
01:44:26,200 --> 01:44:28,500
Well, uh...
1708
01:44:28,600 --> 01:44:30,500
we seem to have everything...
1709
01:44:30,600 --> 01:44:32,400
but, you know...
1710
01:44:33,600 --> 01:44:35,500
it's not much different...
1711
01:44:35,600 --> 01:44:37,000
from a fallout shelter.
1712
01:44:38,300 --> 01:44:39,800
No, Calvin.
1713
01:44:39,800 --> 01:44:41,000
This is different.
1714
01:44:41,100 --> 01:44:42,600
Believe me.
1715
01:44:46,200 --> 01:44:48,700
This is great...
1716
01:44:48,700 --> 01:44:50,200
son.
1717
01:44:52,900 --> 01:44:54,200
By the way...
1718
01:44:55,700 --> 01:44:57,700
Eve. Her last name.
1719
01:44:57,700 --> 01:44:59,200
Vrustikov.
1720
01:44:59,200 --> 01:45:00,800
That's not Russian, is it?
1721
01:45:00,900 --> 01:45:02,300
No, it's Ukrainian.
1722
01:45:02,400 --> 01:45:05,000
Her grandparents immigrated.
1723
01:45:08,300 --> 01:45:09,700
Dad, I don't know
how to tell you this...
1724
01:45:09,700 --> 01:45:13,300
and I was gonna wait
for a while to do it, but...
1725
01:45:15,900 --> 01:45:17,700
Dad, there was no bomb.
1726
01:45:17,700 --> 01:45:19,700
A plane crashed
in our backyard.
1727
01:45:19,900 --> 01:45:22,200
I looked it up
in old newspapers.
1728
01:45:23,200 --> 01:45:25,700
-You sure?
-Positive.
1729
01:45:25,700 --> 01:45:28,700
The Soviet Union collapsed
without a shot being fired.
1730
01:45:28,700 --> 01:45:30,400
The cold war's over.
1731
01:45:33,900 --> 01:45:36,800
That's what everyone believes.
1732
01:45:36,800 --> 01:45:38,300
Oh, yes, sir.
1733
01:45:38,300 --> 01:45:40,300
Mm-hmm. It's true.
1734
01:45:41,400 --> 01:45:43,900
What, the politburo...
1735
01:45:43,900 --> 01:45:45,100
one day said...
1736
01:45:46,200 --> 01:45:47,600
"we give up"?
1737
01:45:49,500 --> 01:45:51,000
Yes, just...
1738
01:45:51,100 --> 01:45:52,600
That's kinda how it went.
1739
01:45:52,600 --> 01:45:54,100
By gosh!
1740
01:45:54,100 --> 01:45:56,000
These commies are brilliant.
1741
01:45:56,100 --> 01:45:58,000
You have to hand it to them.
1742
01:45:58,100 --> 01:46:00,600
No, we didn't drop any bombs.
1743
01:46:00,700 --> 01:46:05,100
Oh, yeah. Our evil empire
has collapsed. Poor us.
1744
01:46:05,200 --> 01:46:07,000
I'll bet...
1745
01:46:07,000 --> 01:46:09,500
they even asked the West
for aid.
1746
01:46:09,500 --> 01:46:11,000
Right?
1747
01:46:11,000 --> 01:46:13,700
Um, I think they did.
1748
01:46:13,700 --> 01:46:14,900
Oh, boys.
1749
01:46:14,900 --> 01:46:16,900
Dinnertime!
1750
01:46:16,900 --> 01:46:18,400
Pot roast.
1751
01:46:23,500 --> 01:46:25,000
I tell ya.
1752
01:46:27,200 --> 01:46:28,800
Funny guy.
1753
01:46:29,800 --> 01:46:31,800
-Don't tell your mother.
-No.
1754
01:46:33,200 --> 01:46:36,200
Adam says that
this is simply how things work.
1755
01:46:36,200 --> 01:46:38,700
First the parents
take care of the children...
1756
01:46:38,700 --> 01:46:41,700
and then the children
take care of the parents.
1757
01:46:41,700 --> 01:46:44,800
He says, historically,
that's how it works.
1758
01:46:44,900 --> 01:46:46,900
Damn commies.
1759
01:46:50,800 --> 01:46:52,100
Whenever Adam gives me...
1760
01:46:52,100 --> 01:46:54,700
such obviously
incorrect information...
1761
01:46:54,700 --> 01:46:58,500
I just smile,
slap him on the knee...
1762
01:46:58,500 --> 01:46:59,700
and look out the window.
1763
01:47:00,500 --> 01:47:02,800
Why spoil his dreams?
1764
01:47:02,800 --> 01:47:05,200
They're such wonderful dreams.
113523
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