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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,619 --> 00:00:06,364 Hey, knock, knock. 2 00:00:06,388 --> 00:00:08,988 Oh. Hi, Charlie. Hey, Ma. 3 00:00:09,058 --> 00:00:12,386 Listen. You're doing me a solid, offering to do this laundry, all right? 4 00:00:12,410 --> 00:00:14,088 We never get to talk. That's why I offered. 5 00:00:14,112 --> 00:00:16,274 - We don't talk, and it's good that way. - Hey-oh! 6 00:00:16,298 --> 00:00:17,876 Hey, Mac's here. He brought his laundry, so... Hi! 7 00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:19,577 Thanks a bundle, Mrs. Kelly. 8 00:00:19,601 --> 00:00:23,186 I got Frank's stuff, Dee's stuff, Dennis's stuff, so you're gonna be working. 9 00:00:23,254 --> 00:00:25,232 Oh, okay. Well, what I wanted to talk to you about... 10 00:00:25,256 --> 00:00:26,968 Ooh, talky, talky, talky, talky, talky. 11 00:00:26,992 --> 00:00:29,493 Talky, talky... M-M-Mom, we're busy. 12 00:00:29,561 --> 00:00:31,473 We got a whole big day planned. 13 00:00:31,497 --> 00:00:34,709 We're gonna go back to Paddy's and polish off a couple beers. Beers, you know, but, hey... 14 00:00:34,733 --> 00:00:38,078 Time is of the essence. We'll come back when it's folded and good and done. 15 00:00:38,102 --> 00:00:39,735 I'd like to bring it up now. 16 00:00:39,804 --> 00:00:41,421 Um, I have cancer. 17 00:00:41,490 --> 00:00:43,370 Yeah, but I gotta go... Yeah. 18 00:00:43,909 --> 00:00:45,119 I'm sorry. What? 19 00:00:45,143 --> 00:00:46,826 I have lung cancer. 20 00:00:46,895 --> 00:00:50,330 What? But... how? You don't even smoke. 21 00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,165 Well, you know... 22 00:00:52,233 --> 00:00:56,152 It's just one of those freak things. 23 00:01:19,327 --> 00:01:22,840 And then Psychic John said that he could tell I was under a tremendous amount of stress... 24 00:01:22,864 --> 00:01:25,104 and that my heart was filled with sorrow. 25 00:01:25,166 --> 00:01:27,128 Now how would he have known that if he wasn't psychic? 26 00:01:27,152 --> 00:01:29,935 I'm not giving you any money for your dumb psychic. 27 00:01:30,004 --> 00:01:32,471 But he says I'm gonna have a tremendous windfall of cash. 28 00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:34,591 You're losing your mind. You're being scammed. 29 00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:36,259 I'm losing my mind? 30 00:01:36,328 --> 00:01:38,528 How many pairs of shoes have you lost this month, Frank? 31 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:42,782 Three. 32 00:01:42,851 --> 00:01:44,195 Hmm? Four. 33 00:01:44,219 --> 00:01:45,563 Mm-hmm. That's not the point. 34 00:01:45,587 --> 00:01:47,754 The point is my mind is as sharp as a... 35 00:01:47,823 --> 00:01:49,422 What do you call it? Uh... 36 00:01:49,491 --> 00:01:50,973 It's a... 37 00:01:51,042 --> 00:01:52,386 A knife? No. 38 00:01:52,410 --> 00:01:54,377 Uh, what you put... What you... What you... 39 00:01:55,563 --> 00:01:57,357 I just don't understand why it's my fault. 40 00:01:57,381 --> 00:01:59,649 It's your fault 'cause your mom's directly responsible. 41 00:01:59,718 --> 00:02:01,562 Yeah, but we both decided to move them in together, 42 00:02:01,586 --> 00:02:03,197 so, you know, you deserve half the blame. 43 00:02:03,221 --> 00:02:05,061 You would put half the blame on me? Yes. 44 00:02:05,090 --> 00:02:06,656 Guys, my mom has lung cancer. 45 00:02:07,325 --> 00:02:09,609 Oh, God. 46 00:02:09,677 --> 00:02:11,611 You know, how... Geez. 47 00:02:11,679 --> 00:02:13,997 That's... That's terrible. 48 00:02:14,065 --> 00:02:15,732 What... What the hell was that, dude? 49 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,350 That didn't sound very genuine. 50 00:02:17,419 --> 00:02:20,586 No. Sorry. What was I supposed to do? 51 00:02:20,655 --> 00:02:22,784 What are you... Are you kidding me? 52 00:02:22,808 --> 00:02:24,618 Are you screwing with me right now? No. 53 00:02:24,642 --> 00:02:27,021 I'm sorry. I think the cancer thing, for whatever reason, just not... 54 00:02:27,045 --> 00:02:28,922 It's just not grabbing me right now. 55 00:02:28,946 --> 00:02:30,596 Not grabbing you? My mom is dying! 56 00:02:30,665 --> 00:02:32,376 Okay, all right. Calm down. Calm down, okay? 57 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,383 Because my mom has a doctor... 58 00:02:34,452 --> 00:02:37,448 that can cure the cancer for 4,200 bucks, so no big deal. 59 00:02:37,472 --> 00:02:40,773 4,200 bucks? To cure cancer? That's it? No. 60 00:02:40,842 --> 00:02:43,737 - I mean, that's a scam. - That's what I was saying. Do you think it's a scam? 61 00:02:43,761 --> 00:02:46,707 Come on. People take advantage of old people and scam them all the time. 62 00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:48,865 - Thumbtack! - What? 63 00:02:48,934 --> 00:02:50,100 Thumbtack. 64 00:02:50,168 --> 00:02:53,169 We were talking about things earlier that were sharp, 65 00:02:53,238 --> 00:02:54,971 and a thumbtack is sharp. 66 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,217 Thumbtack. Yeah. 67 00:02:56,241 --> 00:02:57,285 All right. Mmm. 68 00:02:57,309 --> 00:02:58,486 You see what I'm talking about? 69 00:02:58,510 --> 00:03:00,221 People get old and then their brains turn to mush, 70 00:03:00,245 --> 00:03:01,989 and then people come along and take advantage of 'em. 71 00:03:02,013 --> 00:03:05,432 Now, Frank, give me that hundred bucks you were excited to give me for my psychic. 72 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:08,084 Oh, yeah. 73 00:03:08,153 --> 00:03:09,652 Sorry. Here you go. 74 00:03:09,721 --> 00:03:12,041 Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 75 00:03:14,910 --> 00:03:16,454 Where the hell are we? 76 00:03:16,478 --> 00:03:19,595 Your mom's totally screwing my mom again with this doctor scam. 77 00:03:19,664 --> 00:03:21,175 It's not a scam, Charlie. 78 00:03:21,199 --> 00:03:23,310 She's been seeing this guy for years, and she doesn't have cancer. 79 00:03:23,334 --> 00:03:26,030 I got to say, though, this is a strange place for a doctor's office. 80 00:03:26,054 --> 00:03:28,655 - What's this guy's name? - Dr. Jinx. 81 00:03:28,724 --> 00:03:31,391 Dr. Jinx is the name of a monkey, not a man. 82 00:03:31,459 --> 00:03:33,326 Come in. He lives in a garage? 83 00:03:33,394 --> 00:03:35,314 Yeah. Look. Let's just give him a shot, all right? 84 00:03:35,363 --> 00:03:37,580 If we don't like what we see, we reassess. 85 00:03:37,649 --> 00:03:39,377 All right. Go. 86 00:03:39,401 --> 00:03:41,901 ♪♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 87 00:03:41,970 --> 00:03:44,653 Oh, I-I'm sorry. Are you Dr. Jinx? 88 00:03:44,722 --> 00:03:46,284 ♪ The right stuff ♪ Indeed I am. 89 00:03:46,308 --> 00:03:48,002 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ Have a seat. 90 00:03:48,026 --> 00:03:50,393 Goddamn it. 91 00:03:50,462 --> 00:03:52,978 ♪♪ 92 00:03:53,047 --> 00:03:55,142 So, what are we gonna do, guys? 93 00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:56,665 I just have to say... 94 00:03:56,735 --> 00:03:58,234 this is, uh... 95 00:03:58,302 --> 00:03:59,802 This is weird. 96 00:03:59,871 --> 00:04:01,432 I can understand your suspicions. 97 00:04:01,456 --> 00:04:03,167 When most people think of a doctor, 98 00:04:03,191 --> 00:04:06,910 they don't think of a black man living in a garage, surrounded by houseplants. 99 00:04:06,978 --> 00:04:08,611 I normally think Asian. 100 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:10,312 Yeah, or I think of an Indian guy. 101 00:04:10,381 --> 00:04:12,359 Yeah. Or white. Middle Eastern. 102 00:04:12,383 --> 00:04:14,395 Pretty much anything other than black. Is that racist? 103 00:04:14,419 --> 00:04:16,085 Hell, yeah, that's racist. 104 00:04:16,154 --> 00:04:18,999 Your parents ain't let you watch The Cosby Show when you was coming up? 105 00:04:19,023 --> 00:04:21,402 My parents would never have let me watch something like that. 106 00:04:21,426 --> 00:04:23,237 Let's not make this about racism. 107 00:04:23,261 --> 00:04:27,446 Let's make this about the man who's living in a garage treating my mom for cancer. 108 00:04:27,515 --> 00:04:29,043 Hey, hey. Now, look. Here's my deal... 109 00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:31,317 I use ancient homeopathic remedies... 110 00:04:31,386 --> 00:04:33,506 derived from the mother earth. 111 00:04:33,571 --> 00:04:35,065 You can't get no cleaner than that. 112 00:04:35,089 --> 00:04:37,089 Homeopathic from mother earth, huh? 113 00:04:37,159 --> 00:04:41,294 Dr. Jinx, I have a eczema situation that's burning me up good. 114 00:04:41,363 --> 00:04:43,073 Do you have anything for that? Oh, shit! 115 00:04:43,097 --> 00:04:44,664 That's not eczema. 116 00:04:44,732 --> 00:04:47,650 What you have there, my friend, that's sailor's rot. 117 00:04:47,718 --> 00:04:50,364 Sailor's rot? I'm not a sailor, Dr. Jinx. 118 00:04:50,388 --> 00:04:52,332 - When the last time you been to Haiti? - Never. 119 00:04:52,356 --> 00:04:53,918 I've never been... I've been to Kensington. 120 00:04:53,942 --> 00:04:55,853 When you was in Kensington, did you have intercourse... 121 00:04:55,877 --> 00:04:58,038 with any hos, ladies of the nights or prostitutes? 122 00:04:58,062 --> 00:04:59,629 No! 123 00:04:59,697 --> 00:05:01,242 No. I have... Don't worry about it. 124 00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:03,894 Doctor-client privilege. Don't worry about it. I got what you need. 125 00:05:03,918 --> 00:05:05,484 Okay. What is... 126 00:05:05,553 --> 00:05:06,753 Oh. Oh! 127 00:05:06,822 --> 00:05:08,687 Oh, that burns! 128 00:05:08,756 --> 00:05:10,306 Mother earth don't play. 129 00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:11,952 Do you have anything from the mother earth... 130 00:05:11,976 --> 00:05:15,945 that would be sprayed on me and cause me to have feelings again, 131 00:05:16,013 --> 00:05:17,858 'cause I'm having trouble feeling things. 132 00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:21,017 Oh, you want feelings? I have something for that. 133 00:05:21,085 --> 00:05:23,719 Dr. Jinx got something for feeling. 134 00:05:25,540 --> 00:05:28,207 ♪♪ 135 00:05:34,932 --> 00:05:37,533 ♪♪ 136 00:05:42,591 --> 00:05:44,201 Okay. So that was a scam, right? 137 00:05:44,225 --> 00:05:45,959 Yep. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. 138 00:05:46,027 --> 00:05:47,827 I think he sprayed me with Miracle-Gro. 139 00:05:47,896 --> 00:05:51,047 All right, guys. My mom has real problems. I need real help. 140 00:05:51,115 --> 00:05:53,349 Oh. I got it. 141 00:05:53,418 --> 00:05:55,585 I know exactly who we need to turn to next. 142 00:05:55,654 --> 00:05:57,220 Hmm. 143 00:05:57,288 --> 00:06:02,425 ♪ And he will raise you up on eagles' wings ♪ 144 00:06:02,494 --> 00:06:08,047 ♪ Bear you on the breath of dawn ♪ 145 00:06:08,116 --> 00:06:12,785 ♪ Make youse to shine like the sun ♪ 146 00:06:12,853 --> 00:06:19,341 ♪ And hold youse in the palm ♪ 147 00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:23,713 ♪ Of his hand ♪♪ 148 00:06:23,782 --> 00:06:28,784 Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of power and might, 149 00:06:28,853 --> 00:06:30,820 heaven and earth are full of your glory. 150 00:06:30,889 --> 00:06:33,684 - This is ridiculous. - What are we doing here? 151 00:06:33,708 --> 00:06:35,886 We're turning to the big man upstairs. He's gonna make this right. 152 00:06:35,910 --> 00:06:38,121 I can't believe you think this is a real solution to our problem. 153 00:06:38,145 --> 00:06:39,857 Dennis, what do you think of all this? Shh. Shh. 154 00:06:39,881 --> 00:06:42,014 ♪ Amen ♪ ♪ Amen ♪ 155 00:06:42,083 --> 00:06:43,461 I'm just trying to embrace this. 156 00:06:43,485 --> 00:06:45,496 I want to see if I can knock some emotion loose. 157 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:46,853 This is ridiculous. 158 00:06:46,921 --> 00:06:49,321 Hey, hey, hey! Don't say that. Now kneel. 159 00:06:49,390 --> 00:06:51,401 Why do I have to kneel? I don't see the point. 160 00:06:51,425 --> 00:06:52,908 Because God wants it. 161 00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:55,912 Look, just do what the priest says. Don't ask why. Just do. 162 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,813 Look, our moms are here. 163 00:06:57,882 --> 00:06:59,465 They see the value in it. Why can't you? 164 00:07:01,586 --> 00:07:03,102 Where's your mom going? 165 00:07:03,171 --> 00:07:05,116 She keeps a cigarette burning out on the steps outside, 166 00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:06,639 so she's gonna go hack a butt. 167 00:07:06,708 --> 00:07:08,402 So she just comes and goes as she pleases. 168 00:07:08,426 --> 00:07:09,987 There's no sort of rules for her. 169 00:07:10,011 --> 00:07:11,561 She's put her time in here, all right? 170 00:07:11,629 --> 00:07:13,807 The Lord makes an exception for her. Jesus Christ, man. 171 00:07:13,831 --> 00:07:17,049 Hey! Don't... Stop using his name in vain. Now stand. 172 00:07:17,118 --> 00:07:18,662 Stand? Yes. 173 00:07:18,686 --> 00:07:20,914 And give me some money for the baskets. I'm not giving you money. 174 00:07:20,938 --> 00:07:23,166 We have to give money... What are you... No, thank you. No, thank you. 175 00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:25,602 If anything, the church should give us money. They seem to have plenty of it. 176 00:07:25,626 --> 00:07:27,593 Dude, the church doesn't give money. It takes it. 177 00:07:27,662 --> 00:07:29,162 All right? That's the way it works. 178 00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:30,730 And then you go to heaven. Now kneel. 179 00:07:30,799 --> 00:07:32,342 Kneel? I gotta kneel again? 180 00:07:32,366 --> 00:07:33,994 - Actually, it's over. - We're standing again. 181 00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:36,652 Charlie... Son of a bitch. This is a scam, okay? 182 00:07:36,721 --> 00:07:39,433 This is a scam... All this kneeling, standing, getting people all confused. 183 00:07:39,457 --> 00:07:41,001 ♪♪ Hey. Hey, hey. Come here. 184 00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:43,087 What are you doing? What are you doing? Come here. Come here. 185 00:07:43,111 --> 00:07:45,105 I'm offering you a sign of peace. I don't want this. 186 00:07:45,129 --> 00:07:47,057 Peace... Peace be with you. Okay. Hey. 187 00:07:47,081 --> 00:07:49,743 Can I say something? Can I say something? 188 00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:53,369 Sorry about your mother. 189 00:07:56,892 --> 00:07:59,208 Okay, I want to talk about someone in your life. 190 00:07:59,277 --> 00:08:01,711 Okay. Okay. Someone close to you. 191 00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:04,347 All right. I'm getting a Fa... 192 00:08:05,116 --> 00:08:07,366 No, I'm getting a Ba... 193 00:08:07,435 --> 00:08:09,202 No. I'm getting a Da... 194 00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,298 Dennis? Dennis! 195 00:08:10,322 --> 00:08:12,021 Is it? Yes. 196 00:08:12,090 --> 00:08:13,734 Yeah. No, I'm seeing that. Dennis. 197 00:08:13,758 --> 00:08:15,803 Yup, yup. I'm seeing Dennis. Okay. 198 00:08:15,827 --> 00:08:21,597 And I am feeling as if he is a... neighbor or an enemy. 199 00:08:21,666 --> 00:08:24,050 He's a coworker, friend... He's a relative... 200 00:08:24,119 --> 00:08:25,746 He's my brother. He's your brother. 201 00:08:25,770 --> 00:08:27,314 Oh, my God. Yes. 202 00:08:27,338 --> 00:08:28,882 Is he how I'm getting my windfall of cash? 203 00:08:28,906 --> 00:08:32,541 You know, I'm not seeing clearly yet how you get the cash. Hmm. 204 00:08:32,610 --> 00:08:35,578 I do see a lot of money in your future. You do. 205 00:08:35,647 --> 00:08:37,942 Yeah, but... Oh, shit. 206 00:08:37,966 --> 00:08:41,884 I think it's gonna take a few sessions to really get the whole picture. 207 00:08:41,952 --> 00:08:43,281 Is it? 208 00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:47,390 Ha. I was just out buying new shoes and I remembered... 209 00:08:47,459 --> 00:08:49,692 I didn't want to give you that hundred bucks. 210 00:08:49,761 --> 00:08:52,461 Yeah, and then you called me and you said you'd changed your mind... 211 00:08:52,530 --> 00:08:55,080 and you'd like to give me another hundred... So where is it? 212 00:08:55,149 --> 00:08:56,410 I did? Yeah. 213 00:08:56,434 --> 00:08:59,168 - Ah, shit! - Hi. Psychic John. 214 00:08:59,237 --> 00:09:00,937 You have an interesting aura. 215 00:09:01,005 --> 00:09:02,638 Don't start with me. 216 00:09:02,707 --> 00:09:04,757 Who's gonna win the Super Bowl this year? 217 00:09:06,377 --> 00:09:07,794 You don't know shit. 218 00:09:07,862 --> 00:09:10,747 Well, I do know that you lost three pairs of shoes this month, 219 00:09:10,815 --> 00:09:12,749 you have a pork chop bone in your left pocket, 220 00:09:12,817 --> 00:09:14,716 you have 57 cents in your right... 221 00:09:14,785 --> 00:09:19,138 and you clipped someone's side mirror while parking in a handicap spot. 222 00:09:19,206 --> 00:09:21,474 Holy shit. That's good. 223 00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:24,076 Can you conjure the dead? 224 00:09:24,145 --> 00:09:28,497 Can you get my dead whore wife back here so I can lay into her from the other side? 225 00:09:28,566 --> 00:09:30,415 Well, I can't do that. 226 00:09:30,484 --> 00:09:32,335 Yeah. Because you're full of shit. 227 00:09:32,404 --> 00:09:35,921 I can't do it because I feel her spirit is still very much alive. 228 00:09:37,242 --> 00:09:39,437 What? No. Well, I don't know about that. 229 00:09:39,461 --> 00:09:41,688 Wait a minute. 230 00:09:41,712 --> 00:09:45,314 I knew there was always something suspicious about that whore's death. 231 00:09:45,383 --> 00:09:48,217 - Really? - Yes. We didn't ask any questions. 232 00:09:48,286 --> 00:09:50,164 We never saw the body. We didn't go to the funeral. 233 00:09:50,188 --> 00:09:54,506 I am feeling as if she is still living somewhere in this city... 234 00:09:54,575 --> 00:09:57,076 With a small Mexican dog. 235 00:09:57,145 --> 00:09:59,305 - Does that ring a bell? - Oh. 236 00:10:00,531 --> 00:10:02,265 That dirty bitch. 237 00:10:03,434 --> 00:10:05,634 Well, I'll tell you, guys. 238 00:10:05,703 --> 00:10:08,670 I didn't feel much in there, but I always enjoy the little wafers. 239 00:10:08,739 --> 00:10:11,285 Of course you do. Because you're consuming the actual body of Christ. 240 00:10:11,309 --> 00:10:13,709 - Uh-huh. Well, he was delicious. - Wait. What? 241 00:10:13,778 --> 00:10:16,729 You're eating our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ every Sunday. That's... 242 00:10:16,797 --> 00:10:20,299 You're telling me that you believe that Christ comes back to life every Sunday... 243 00:10:20,368 --> 00:10:22,213 in the form of a bowl of crackers, 244 00:10:22,237 --> 00:10:23,914 and then you proceed to just eat the man? 245 00:10:23,938 --> 00:10:26,484 Correct. You consumed his corpse and you drank his blood. Okay. Okay. 246 00:10:26,508 --> 00:10:28,085 - That's a part of... - Good. Good, good, good. 247 00:10:28,109 --> 00:10:29,703 This is what we're dealing with. Hey, Mom? 248 00:10:29,727 --> 00:10:31,126 Oh, hi. 249 00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:33,579 Can I talk to you for a second? Why are you here, honestly? 250 00:10:33,647 --> 00:10:36,898 I was praying for help. I need the money for Dr. Jinx. 251 00:10:36,967 --> 00:10:40,169 Dr. Jinx is a con artist and a lunatic. 252 00:10:40,238 --> 00:10:43,572 I-I know he's strange, but he's a great doctor. 253 00:10:43,641 --> 00:10:45,675 He really does cure people. 254 00:10:45,743 --> 00:10:48,355 Hey, guys? Look at this. My rash is almost completely cleared up. 255 00:10:48,379 --> 00:10:49,523 Oh, my God. 256 00:10:49,547 --> 00:10:50,774 Whoa. Yeah. Look at that. 257 00:10:50,798 --> 00:10:52,342 Whatever he sprayed on me worked. 258 00:10:52,366 --> 00:10:53,911 He might actually be a good doctor. 259 00:10:53,935 --> 00:10:55,167 Yes! Oh, shit. 260 00:10:55,236 --> 00:10:58,165 Hi, everybody. Just a reminder, if you wouldn't mind. 261 00:10:58,189 --> 00:11:00,033 We're asking for extra donations... 262 00:11:00,057 --> 00:11:03,092 for the statue of the Blessed Mother that was vandalized last week. 263 00:11:03,161 --> 00:11:05,678 What the shit, man? Charlie. 264 00:11:05,747 --> 00:11:08,764 My mother is dying of cancer, and you need money to fix a statue? 265 00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:11,211 - No, no, no, no. Don't give me this act. - Charlie, calm down. 266 00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:13,797 No, no. Why don't you give us some money? How much is that ring worth? 267 00:11:13,821 --> 00:11:16,000 That looks like an expensive ring. Can we have the ring? 268 00:11:16,024 --> 00:11:17,801 Okay. All right. I'm sorry, Father. This is bullshit! 269 00:11:17,825 --> 00:11:20,425 I will pray for his sins. I'm sorry. Hey, Charlie. Charlie. 270 00:11:20,461 --> 00:11:22,055 What are you doing? It's okay. I got this. 271 00:11:22,079 --> 00:11:23,974 - What am I doing? What is he doing? - Listen. 272 00:11:23,998 --> 00:11:27,011 Don't get all riled up about this scam or that scam, you know. 273 00:11:27,035 --> 00:11:28,946 It's all a big scam, okay? Yeah. 274 00:11:28,970 --> 00:11:30,514 But I will say this... The church's scam? 275 00:11:30,538 --> 00:11:32,266 It's a pretty good one. It's effective. 276 00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:34,468 Look at all the money these people are giving to the church. 277 00:11:34,492 --> 00:11:38,026 So I say we use that model to raise money for your mom at Paddy's. 278 00:11:38,095 --> 00:11:40,262 Guys. Let's throw a beef and beer. 279 00:11:40,331 --> 00:11:42,931 A beef and beer? It's been years. Mm-hmm. 280 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,595 - Beef and beer, huh? - Yeah. We invite the members of this congregation... 281 00:11:45,619 --> 00:11:47,820 down to Paddy's for cheap beef and watered-down beer. 282 00:11:47,889 --> 00:11:49,599 We'll prey on their Catholic guilt... 283 00:11:49,623 --> 00:11:52,669 by playing up your mom's cancer and "Oh, she's dying"... And she is, you know... 284 00:11:52,693 --> 00:11:54,071 Yeah. Then we'll raise a bunch of money... 285 00:11:54,095 --> 00:11:55,789 to give to your mom to give to Dr. Jinx. 286 00:11:55,813 --> 00:11:59,114 Boom. It's the Holy Trinity... beef and beer and Jesus. 287 00:12:03,421 --> 00:12:04,865 - Dig, dig, dig. - Yeah. 288 00:12:04,889 --> 00:12:07,767 What makes you think she's got money buried in the dog's grave? 289 00:12:07,791 --> 00:12:09,391 Well, she can't use a bank. 290 00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:11,844 She's probably got money buried all over the city. 291 00:12:11,913 --> 00:12:13,112 Oh. Whoa. 292 00:12:13,181 --> 00:12:14,708 There we go. Yeah. Dig it up. 293 00:12:14,732 --> 00:12:16,176 Come on, buddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 294 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,267 Oh, yeah! Whoa, ho, ho. 295 00:12:18,336 --> 00:12:21,047 Goddamn! Oh, there's a dead dog in there! 296 00:12:21,071 --> 00:12:22,421 Gross! 297 00:12:22,490 --> 00:12:24,123 That's not a dog. 298 00:12:24,192 --> 00:12:26,225 That's my toupee, my blond toupee. 299 00:12:26,294 --> 00:12:28,594 I used to wear this in Miami. 300 00:12:28,663 --> 00:12:30,508 She hated this goddamn thing. She didn't like that? 301 00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:32,132 No. You are an idiot. 302 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,833 Hmm. Oh, my God. 303 00:12:33,901 --> 00:12:35,634 There is some cash. 304 00:12:35,703 --> 00:12:37,231 That dirty whore. 305 00:12:37,255 --> 00:12:38,999 There's gotta be, like, five grand in here. 306 00:12:39,023 --> 00:12:40,522 I bet she's probably got this stuff... 307 00:12:40,592 --> 00:12:42,090 hidden all over the city. 308 00:12:42,159 --> 00:12:44,376 I can't believe this. She's alive. 309 00:12:44,445 --> 00:12:47,474 We better tell your brother, Daryl, because he's gonna want to be in the loop. 310 00:12:47,498 --> 00:12:49,031 Dennis. 311 00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:50,327 Dennis. Yeah. 312 00:12:50,351 --> 00:12:51,834 Dennis! Goddamn it! 313 00:12:51,903 --> 00:12:53,530 Okay, shh. Hey, hey. Frank, you're losing it! 314 00:12:53,554 --> 00:12:55,833 Stop it. Pipe down. People live here. 315 00:12:55,857 --> 00:12:57,934 My head is turning to soup! Okay. I get it. 316 00:12:57,958 --> 00:13:00,325 Hey! Uh... Mr... 317 00:13:00,394 --> 00:13:02,722 Juarez. Mr. Juarez. That's right. 318 00:13:02,746 --> 00:13:07,166 You remember the Mexican family whose house we burned down and we had to give them our mansion. 319 00:13:07,235 --> 00:13:09,146 Oh! Remember? 320 00:13:09,170 --> 00:13:10,669 How do you like the mansion? 321 00:13:10,738 --> 00:13:13,389 It's been very, very nice. You know, the weddings, the quinceañeras. 322 00:13:13,457 --> 00:13:14,518 Mmm. Mmm. 323 00:13:14,542 --> 00:13:16,269 But it's very expensive. Mmm. 324 00:13:16,293 --> 00:13:18,410 Uh, how you call it... 325 00:13:18,479 --> 00:13:20,679 Uh, the property tax. It's too much. 326 00:13:20,748 --> 00:13:22,059 Yeah. Sí. 327 00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:25,350 We had to leave. Anyway, I am back here every Saturday. 328 00:13:25,419 --> 00:13:28,003 Why? I have to go to work. 329 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,635 - Yeah. - Oh, shit. 330 00:13:31,659 --> 00:13:33,158 Well, that sucks. 331 00:13:33,228 --> 00:13:36,006 Tell you what. Property taxes... paying for what you already own? 332 00:13:36,030 --> 00:13:37,597 Now that's a scam. 333 00:13:40,834 --> 00:13:42,834 ♪♪ 334 00:13:42,904 --> 00:13:45,104 ♪ We want the funk ♪ 335 00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:46,655 ♪ Dr. Jinx want that funk ♪ 336 00:13:46,724 --> 00:13:49,358 ♪ Oh, we want the funk ♪ 337 00:13:49,427 --> 00:13:51,894 ♪ We need it Gotta have that funk ♪ 338 00:13:51,963 --> 00:13:53,507 ♪ Dr. Jinx want the funk ♪ 339 00:13:53,531 --> 00:13:54,997 Padre! 340 00:13:55,065 --> 00:13:57,210 So good to see you. So good of you to come. 341 00:13:57,234 --> 00:13:58,645 Oh. Yeah. Right on. Right on. 342 00:13:58,669 --> 00:14:00,213 Well, it's for a good cause, isn't it, so... 343 00:14:00,237 --> 00:14:01,882 Have some beef, have some beer. 344 00:14:01,906 --> 00:14:04,089 And if you feel the calling, you know, 345 00:14:04,158 --> 00:14:06,302 go ahead and pop that ring in the donation bucket. 346 00:14:06,326 --> 00:14:08,393 Although I know you won't. 347 00:14:08,462 --> 00:14:10,006 All right. Have a good time. 348 00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:12,443 We're both playing the same game. I... I totally get it. 349 00:14:12,467 --> 00:14:13,966 I get what you're doing. 350 00:14:14,034 --> 00:14:16,068 ♪♪ 351 00:14:16,137 --> 00:14:18,537 ♪ Ow ♪ 352 00:14:18,606 --> 00:14:21,640 ♪ We gonna turn this cancer out ♪ 353 00:14:21,708 --> 00:14:24,242 Let me see the... the neck. 354 00:14:24,311 --> 00:14:25,639 Mom, turn your head that way. 355 00:14:25,663 --> 00:14:27,630 Can we do more lesions? 356 00:14:27,699 --> 00:14:30,316 No, dude. The lesions are fine. That's overkill. Trust me. 357 00:14:30,385 --> 00:14:34,787 I don't know why I have to wear all this makeup and wear a bald cap. 358 00:14:34,855 --> 00:14:38,035 Mom, you want people to feel sorry for you, right? Then they give a lot of money. 359 00:14:38,059 --> 00:14:40,337 You just don't look that sick. You gotta look sicker. 360 00:14:40,361 --> 00:14:42,094 But I feel like it's lying. 361 00:14:42,163 --> 00:14:45,114 It's not lying, Mrs. Kelly, because you are dying of cancer. 362 00:14:45,183 --> 00:14:47,783 - Yeah. - It's devouring your insides. 363 00:14:47,851 --> 00:14:51,620 But we need for it to devour your outside so it plays better for our audience. 364 00:14:51,689 --> 00:14:55,324 Yeah. Look, Mom. It's just basic Hollywood stuff, all right? Don't fight it. 365 00:14:55,393 --> 00:14:57,442 Why can't you get Frank to give me the money? 366 00:14:57,511 --> 00:15:00,106 Mmm. Frank's not really a big charity kind of guy. 367 00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:01,808 He's not really gonna give it. Okay. 368 00:15:01,832 --> 00:15:03,376 Let's talk about the speech, okay? 369 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,111 Can you go over the speech that we gave you? 370 00:15:05,135 --> 00:15:07,369 I don't like this speech. This speech is too graphic. 371 00:15:08,589 --> 00:15:10,167 It needs to be graphic to get their attention. 372 00:15:10,191 --> 00:15:11,735 This bitch is driving me crazy. I'm sorry. 373 00:15:11,759 --> 00:15:13,637 Look, that's the kind of stuff that's going to grab people. 374 00:15:13,661 --> 00:15:15,705 You know what I mean? Like graphic stuff, melt their... 375 00:15:15,729 --> 00:15:17,607 Artemis, what are you doing? 376 00:15:17,631 --> 00:15:19,098 You can't smoke in here. 377 00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:21,100 - It's not tobacco. - I realize it's not tobacco, 378 00:15:21,169 --> 00:15:22,746 but it's not gonna be good for her lungs. 379 00:15:22,770 --> 00:15:24,690 - She's already... - I'm used to smoke around me. 380 00:15:24,738 --> 00:15:26,866 - Oh. - She can recover. She can beat it. 381 00:15:26,890 --> 00:15:29,019 It's only going to add to... Can you go outside? 382 00:15:29,043 --> 00:15:31,594 Whatever. I'm gonna go have some beef. 383 00:15:31,662 --> 00:15:34,140 Pass the beef, but don't smoke in front of the woman. 384 00:15:34,164 --> 00:15:35,242 ♪♪ 385 00:15:35,266 --> 00:15:37,049 ♪ We are Dr. Jinx ♪ 386 00:15:37,117 --> 00:15:41,220 ♪♪ 387 00:15:41,289 --> 00:15:42,437 ♪♪ 388 00:15:44,408 --> 00:15:47,153 We are Dr. Jinx, and we'll be back in a minute. 389 00:15:47,177 --> 00:15:49,839 All right. All right. That's good stuff. Good stuff. 390 00:15:49,863 --> 00:15:53,281 Hey. Everybody give it up one more time for Dr. Jinx, huh? 391 00:15:53,350 --> 00:15:55,867 Whoo! Dr. Jinx. 392 00:15:55,936 --> 00:15:58,237 A man with a band... 393 00:15:58,306 --> 00:16:00,188 named after himself. 394 00:16:00,257 --> 00:16:03,658 Well, ladies and gentlemen, we all know why we're here. 395 00:16:03,727 --> 00:16:07,045 To celebrate the beautiful life of the beautiful Bonnie Kelly. 396 00:16:07,114 --> 00:16:09,814 But I'd like to take a moment, if you'll indulge me. 397 00:16:09,883 --> 00:16:13,719 I learned something very important today, and it just dawned on me. 398 00:16:13,788 --> 00:16:15,965 I want to talk about faith. 399 00:16:15,989 --> 00:16:17,238 Right on. 400 00:16:17,307 --> 00:16:21,126 It's not about whether something is true... 401 00:16:21,195 --> 00:16:24,296 or-or-or based in fact or reality... 402 00:16:24,365 --> 00:16:28,000 or the laws of physics or nature... 403 00:16:28,068 --> 00:16:31,103 or even basic common sense. 404 00:16:31,171 --> 00:16:35,524 It's about whether or not we're dumb enough to believe in it that matters. 405 00:16:37,128 --> 00:16:41,680 Oh, folks, who the hell am I to say that there is no God? Who am I? 406 00:16:41,749 --> 00:16:44,444 Or to say that anybody's belief in the church doesn't make their life better? 407 00:16:44,468 --> 00:16:45,668 Maybe it does. 408 00:16:45,719 --> 00:16:49,839 Or that this man, Dr. Jinx... 409 00:16:49,907 --> 00:16:53,075 Who am I to say that he can't cure diseases with his sorcery? 410 00:16:53,144 --> 00:16:54,793 I don't know. 411 00:16:54,861 --> 00:16:57,329 I say maybe he can. 412 00:16:57,398 --> 00:17:00,766 And I believe that maybe he can. 413 00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:05,037 Ladies and gentlemen, if we believe, 414 00:17:06,273 --> 00:17:08,507 if we just believe, 415 00:17:09,677 --> 00:17:12,410 then we can do anything! 416 00:17:14,715 --> 00:17:17,216 - Whoo! - Oh, yeah, ladies and gentlemen. I feel it now! 417 00:17:17,284 --> 00:17:19,718 Do you feel it? Do you feel the spirit? 418 00:17:19,787 --> 00:17:22,399 Do you feel the invisible things around you that don't really exist? 419 00:17:22,423 --> 00:17:23,906 Oh, it doesn't matter! 420 00:17:23,974 --> 00:17:27,025 - Dr. Jinx feels it, yeah! - Whoo, I feel good! 421 00:17:27,095 --> 00:17:30,429 - Yeah! - We feel magnificent, yeah! 422 00:17:30,498 --> 00:17:34,082 And we can cure cancer with plants. 423 00:17:34,151 --> 00:17:36,711 - Whoo! - Amen. 424 00:17:36,888 --> 00:17:38,798 Mmm. Thank you so much. Thank you. 425 00:17:38,822 --> 00:17:40,422 Whoa. Whoa! Oh! 426 00:17:40,491 --> 00:17:42,057 Dennis, that was amazing, dude. 427 00:17:42,126 --> 00:17:44,760 I am so proud of you. You are feeling again. 428 00:17:45,562 --> 00:17:46,728 No. 429 00:17:46,797 --> 00:17:48,730 I meant none of it. 430 00:17:48,799 --> 00:17:50,893 Come on. Come on. 431 00:17:50,917 --> 00:17:52,601 Just read the speech. 432 00:17:52,670 --> 00:17:54,547 I don't think I can do this. You can do it. 433 00:17:54,571 --> 00:17:56,421 You'll be great. My... My mom has a speech. 434 00:17:57,575 --> 00:17:59,202 "Thank you all for coming... 435 00:17:59,226 --> 00:18:01,943 to our beef and beer and Jesus. 436 00:18:02,012 --> 00:18:04,830 As you know, 437 00:18:04,898 --> 00:18:09,150 I'm as sick as a three-legged dog on the streets of India. 438 00:18:09,219 --> 00:18:14,423 Any minute, my lungs are going to sizzle, pop and disintegrate"... 439 00:18:14,491 --> 00:18:18,343 "into a liquid lung and organ gumbo soup." 440 00:18:18,412 --> 00:18:20,579 That was my line. 441 00:18:20,647 --> 00:18:22,058 Nice. Mmm. 442 00:18:22,082 --> 00:18:24,562 Charlie, I can't do this. Skip to the money part, all right? 443 00:18:24,601 --> 00:18:26,146 Just get the money part done. 444 00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:28,970 "Give me money. Money me. 445 00:18:29,039 --> 00:18:30,539 Money now. 446 00:18:30,608 --> 00:18:33,709 Me a money needing a lot now." 447 00:18:33,778 --> 00:18:35,672 That was Charlie's line. Yeah. 448 00:18:35,696 --> 00:18:38,113 - Eh. - Charlie, I can't do this. 449 00:18:38,181 --> 00:18:39,748 Doing great. We're doing great. 450 00:18:39,817 --> 00:18:42,418 I have a confession to make to all of you. 451 00:18:42,486 --> 00:18:44,803 Don't do it, bitch! 452 00:18:44,872 --> 00:18:47,022 I don't have cancer! 453 00:18:47,091 --> 00:18:48,285 What? 454 00:18:48,309 --> 00:18:50,349 Oh, God. 455 00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:56,815 We're the ones that broke the Virgin Mary statue. 456 00:18:56,884 --> 00:19:00,552 We accidentally hit it with our car. Mmm. 457 00:19:00,621 --> 00:19:04,557 We were trying to raise money to get it fixed. 458 00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:06,225 That's just crazy. 459 00:19:06,294 --> 00:19:08,805 You could've just told me the story about hitting the statue. 460 00:19:08,829 --> 00:19:10,574 I mean, where did you come up with this idea? 461 00:19:10,598 --> 00:19:14,415 Well, I learned everything by watching you. 462 00:19:14,484 --> 00:19:15,801 Wh... Uh... 463 00:19:15,869 --> 00:19:17,414 Oh. Ah, shit. I did do that, huh? 464 00:19:17,438 --> 00:19:18,937 Yeah, you totally... 465 00:19:19,006 --> 00:19:20,584 You pulled that shit on us too. Well... 466 00:19:20,608 --> 00:19:22,368 You son of a bitch. That's no excuse. 467 00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:24,421 Well, at least you didn't try and grift a doctor though. 468 00:19:24,445 --> 00:19:26,762 No, no. I never actually said I was a doctor. 469 00:19:26,831 --> 00:19:29,292 He's the goddamn church gardener. 470 00:19:29,316 --> 00:19:32,450 A gardener? I guess that would explain this. 471 00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,386 Oh. Oh! Jesus. 472 00:19:34,455 --> 00:19:36,433 I was gonna talk to you about that. I'm really sorry. 473 00:19:36,457 --> 00:19:39,908 You had my back up against the wall. I had to spray you with a heavy dose of pesticide. 474 00:19:39,977 --> 00:19:43,411 Put some aloe vera gel on there, a little bit of Vitamin D... 475 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:44,941 What? He doesn't know that. 476 00:19:44,965 --> 00:19:47,044 Don't get a diagnosis from him now. How would you know that? 477 00:19:47,068 --> 00:19:48,244 Goddamn it. 478 00:19:48,268 --> 00:19:50,803 Dennis. Dennis! Mom's alive. 479 00:19:50,871 --> 00:19:54,050 She faked her own death to steal Frank's money, and we think it's buried in her grave. 480 00:19:54,074 --> 00:19:55,557 That dirty whore. 481 00:19:55,626 --> 00:19:58,576 Everybody get a goddamn shovel! 482 00:20:00,030 --> 00:20:04,115 This is such a perfect place for that bitch to hide my money. 483 00:20:04,184 --> 00:20:05,762 Psychic John talked about this. 484 00:20:05,786 --> 00:20:08,482 He said I was gonna come into a windfall of cash, and it's all in here. 485 00:20:08,506 --> 00:20:10,338 Yeah. Then we can use some of that cash... 486 00:20:10,407 --> 00:20:12,407 to pay for the statue that our moms broke, Charlie. 487 00:20:12,442 --> 00:20:15,677 All right! 488 00:20:15,746 --> 00:20:17,963 - You guys ready? - Crack it open, Charlie. 489 00:20:18,032 --> 00:20:20,293 Show me the money. Show me the money! 490 00:20:20,317 --> 00:20:22,717 Show me the money! Show me the money! 491 00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:25,115 Ah, shit! Oh, shit! 492 00:20:26,673 --> 00:20:29,675 - Mommy! Mommy! I grifted ya! 493 00:20:29,743 --> 00:20:32,444 - What are you talking about? - I paid off the psychic. 494 00:20:32,513 --> 00:20:34,774 I buried the money in the dog grave. 495 00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:38,400 My mommy! My mommy's a skeleton! 496 00:20:38,468 --> 00:20:41,503 I grifted your asses good because you said I was slipping. 497 00:20:41,572 --> 00:20:44,067 I feel too much! I feel too much! 498 00:20:44,091 --> 00:20:47,659 You made me dig up my dead mother because I said you were losing it? 499 00:20:47,727 --> 00:20:50,996 Score one for the old people! 500 00:20:52,132 --> 00:20:53,999 Wait a minute. 501 00:20:54,067 --> 00:20:55,901 What the hell happened to my shoes? 39770

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