All language subtitles for its.always.sunny.in.philadelphia.s08e02.1080p.bluray.x264-rovers.eng

Oh, I cannot believe
how bad it's gotten back here.

- We should have gone in the front.
- The front's worse.

Oh, God, it stinks so bad!
I can't believe the trashmen
can strike in this economy.

It's unbelievable.
It should be against the law.
Is all of this our trash?

We generate a ton of it.
It's a sad throwaway culture
we're living in.

Mmm. That's true.

I feel like you guys have
done something like that before.

Have we?
Shut up, bird.

It's just not that funny.

Oh, look out!
Whoa!

What are you doing?
Keeping trash in here?
Take it outside.

- There's no more room outside.
- Can you believe these trash bozos?

They make $20 an hour,
and they want more.

Twenty bucks an hour?
That's an outrage. These guys
are blasting us in the ass.

Yeah! I mean, we pay their
salaries, and they turn around
and ass-blast us? Come on.

What are you talking about?
You don't pay taxes.
You don't even vote.

Who am I supposed to vote for?
The Republican who's
blasting me in the ass...

or the Democrat who's
blasting me in the ass?

Yeah, politics is all
one big ass-blast.

This doesn't all sound
familiar to you guys?

If these jerks don't
want to do their job,
I say we do it for 'em.

The trash business
is a gold mine.

Yeah, Frank's right.

Let's pull up our bootstraps,

oil up a couple of asses
and do a little plowing
of our own.

Pow!

- Not gay sex.
- Okay. Yeah.

- It seemed like...
- What are you talking about?

We're gonna solve
the trash crisis.
Oh!

All of this...
I've heard
all of this before.

No?
Shut up, bird.

All right.
It's a simple plan.

Mac, Dennis, Charlie,
you rent a van,

you drive to
rich people's homes,

you tell them that
you'll pick up the trash
for a fee.

Then you take the trash
to a dump in New Jersey
where there's no strike.

Meanwhile, I dress Dee up
like a whore,

get a city official,
bribe him...

and make him give us
the contract, undermining
the trash unions.

Any questions?

Oh, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Oh.

- Charlie.
- We've gone door-to-door
in a van before,

and that didn't work out for us.

This is gonna work.
Trust me. Mac.

I feel like it's gonna be hard
to hang off the back of a van
like the trash guys do.

- Can we just get a trash truck?
- No, you don't want to be
caught scabbing.

Get a van.
Dennis.

I don't want to be a trashman.
I'll bribe the city official
with you.

I need a lady whore. Dee.

Yeah, I've done
the whore thing before.
I don't care for it.

- I won't be doing it again.
- The whore thing worked.
You just didn't listen to me.

How many times have we done
this kind of thing before?

A lot.
Well, we've done things.

We do stuff like this
all the time.
Yeah, once or twice.

And how often do they work out?

Well, come on.
It doesn't always work out.

It's never
once...
How often should it work out?

- Almost never.
- That's because
you don't listen to me.

This time we do it my way.

Okay, I'm a little confused.
So, Frank is the brains,
and you're just the looks now?

And I'm still the wild card,
so that's good.

No, no, guys. We're forsaking
the group dynamic, okay?

And truthfully,
Charlie, come on. I mean,
nobody wants a wild card, okay?

It doesn't make any sense.
We don't want a maniac in our
group. There's no benefit to it.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, I feel like
you just agreed with me,

but you weren't listening
to what I was saying.

Yes.

You...
You pointed at me like
I said something, but I didn't.

Good.

Charlie, having somebody
making wild decisions...

that make no sense...
That benefits nobody.

Oh, yes.
Right. Yes.

Is he listening to...
I can't tell.
He's listening.

- He's not understanding.
- Yeah, he doesn't even,
like, get us, man. It's...

- We're talking about you!
- Ah.

Okay, let's move on from it.
What do you think
is happening right now?

- Guys, it doesn't matter.
- It's good.

We'll sort this out later.
It doesn't matter, guys, because
I have no love for this plan.

I just don't
want to be a trashman.

Yeah, and, guys,
if I'm being honest,

there's no way
that I can hang off
one of the back of these.

- Just simply no way.
- Yeah, what would you
hang on to?

It'd be dangerous.
Let's bail on the plan.
Let's bail on it.

- Let's go.
- Wait, wait. But-But-But that's
the whole thing, right?

We can't just quit. Like,
Frank... We have to see Frank's
plan all the way through.

- That's what he wants us to do.
- Okay. All right. Fine. Look.
We'll do Frank's plan.

But I think I have a tweak
that is gonna solve
both of our problems.

This is what I'm talking about,
Charlie. See, we're still
doing Frank's plan.

Oh, yeah.
We're just improving on it.

Yeah, we... Absolutely.
Look, the man's got good plans.
It's the specifics are outdated.

They're old... Yeah, you know.
They're very outdated.
Yeah, sure.

In the 1950s, yeah, you could
drive around door-to-door
in a windowless van,

and people didn't think
they were gonna get raped.

Now, they-they
will think that.
This is better.

I know, and plus,
with the tuxedos,

you know, honestly, who wouldn't
want their trashman in a tuxedo?
Absolutely.

I know I would.
There's plenty of room
in the back for the trash.

The real trashmen
don't know we're scabbing.
It's a good plan.

It's a good plan.
I wonder how Mac's
doing back there.

I can't believe
you never listen to me.

You're supposed to
look like a whore.

The whore-politician
is outdated, Frank.

That is an idea that's
best left in the trash.

I am presenting myself
as a powerful lady.

You're presenting yourself
as a banana.

Okay, you know what? I'm here,
and I'm doing your plan.
I'm just doing it my way.

At least sex it up.
Open some buttons.
No. I don't want to. Stop it.

Show some skin.
Get off me!
Stop it, Frank.

St... Oh, great!
This is nice.

This doesn't look
powerful or sexy.
Now it looks good.

Great job, Frank.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I'm running a little bit late.

Now I understand that
you guys wanted to get a bid
to undermine the waste manag...

- I know you guys.
- Oh, shit.

This ain't gonna work.
You know this guy?

It's the gay guy
who wanted to buy Paddy's.

Oh, yeah. You fired me
from the oldies rock café.

Huh. I did not picture
this guy getting recycled
back into the mix.

So much
for the sex appeal angle.

I don't know, Frank.
Why don't you sex it up
a little, huh?

Get off.
Get off of me.
Why don't you sex it up?

- Go on, get... Get off!
- Why don't you be the whore?

Why don't you show some skin?

- Plea... Stop it.
- Huh? He likes it like that.
Yeah. Do it.

- Stop it.
- Do it. Show some skin.

- Knock it off, you lousy bitch.
- Stop it!

What are you doing?

Ah, you like what you see? Hmm?

♪ I still got the moves ♪

♪♪

Okay. Now, guys,
we've done something
like this before,

so we should be able to do it
better this time around.
Right.

Now, right off the bat, Charlie,
were you planning on doing
an accent of any kind?

Yes.
Me too.

You guys were both planning
on doing accents?
Of course.

Let's not do accents. That's
the kind of wild-card stuff that
always gets us into trouble.

All right. You know what?
Let's put all of our cards
on the table.

- Were you guys planning
anything else?
- I have a knife.

- Why do you have a knife?
- Uh, to make sure
that the plan works.

- Could be good.
- Okay. The plan's gonna work.
Give me the knife.

- Should I have the knife?
- I should have the knife.

Somebody should...
have the knife.

I'm afraid that
if I don't have the knife,

then one of you
will stab somebody.

Again, that's a wild-card thing.
We don't want that.

Right.
That's what we're trying
to get rid of.

We don't want that.
Exactly. And also, why don't
you guys let me do the talking.

Well, hold... Hang on.
You know,
'cause now you're...

Look. You've done
talking before, and that
hasn't always worked.

It hasn't worked
because you guys are always
interrupting me.

I'll talk.
I'll talk.

Mac, you have
an exceptional number
of bugs in your teeth.

You're gonna want to
rinse those out.
It's disgusting.

Bugs?
Is that what that is?
Yes, bugs.

If you're gonna ride back there,
ride with your mouth shut.

All right, listen.
I think I have a tweak where
none of us does the talking.

♪ Hello ♪
♪ Hello ♪

♪ Hello ♪

♪ We bet you hate
that smell ♪
♪ That smell ♪

♪ That smell from
all your trash ♪
♪ Your trash ♪

♪ We bet you'd like
three charming men to take
your trash from you ♪

♪ From you ♪
♪ We have
a limousine ♪

♪ A limousine ♪
♪ That we can fill
with trash ♪

♪ Fill with trash ♪
♪ So please let us take
your trash from ♪

♪ You ♪♪

- Wait, I have to stop you.
- Damn it, Dennis.
I knew this wasn't gonna work.

No, the plan was good.
Charlie, you were sharp.
I was...

You were a little sharp.

Guys, guys, the song was fine.
Did you say you would
take my trash?

Yeah.
Yeah, that's...

Oh, my... How much will it cost?

Oh, we didn't, um...

$200.

Oh, that's fantastic.

Can we start now?

Yeah. Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.

- One more time with the song?
- No. Just the trash.

- We can do it better.
- No, it's...

Let's go!
All right. Let's do it, boys.

♪♪

So, how does this place
tickle your fancy?

- Why are we here?
- Because you are
a power bottom.

- He's a what?
- A power bottom.

I'm not having
this conversation.
What do you want?

We can pick up the trash
for half the price
of the union.

We want the city contract.

Look. There's no way
you're gonna undermine one of
the biggest unions in the city.

Moreover,
both sides are incredibly close
to an agreement. So...

Well, you see anything
you like here? Maybe we can
hook it up and change your mind.

- May I please leave?
- I don't get it.

We take you to a titty bar,
and you say no to us.

We bring you to this place
with all these juicy dongs,
and you shut us down.

What team are you playing for?

Hold on a second, Frank.
I think I know
what's going on here.

This man has been realigned.
He's a "yestergay."

What's a yestergay?

A lot of men bounce around
from label to label, never quite
finding their proper gay home.

My hunch is that this gentleman
has gone from a twink
to a twunk to a twank.

What's a twunk?
Twink and a hunk.

A twink with muscles,
but still hairless.

So smooth.
Oh, incredibly smooth.

A twank, on the other hand...
Twank is no good.

That's a twink and a skank.
Essentially a rag doll,

just being passed around
from twink to twunk
to bear to otter.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
What's an otter?

Subsection of bear.
Still hairy,

but where a bear
generates his power
through sheer mass alone,

the otter generates his power
through extraordinary quickness,
cunning and skill.

That is a lot
to keep in your head
to maintain a lifestyle.

It's very difficult
to maintain the lifestyle
of a twank versatile,

'cause this often leads
to a lot of self-hatred
and denial,

especially among the religious
or political types.

So they try and realign
their sexual orientation
through therapy.

So he's not gay anymore?
Well, that's a hotly
debated topic, isn't it?

I, for one, am of the belief
that some things can't be thrown
in the trash, Frank.

And your sexuality
is one of them.
I totally agree.

Some cocks can't be unsucked.

So is it a case of forgetting,
or is it denying?

Neither.

Still gay.

Are you still here?
I thought you'd be gone by now.

I can't.

You're pointing a gun at me.

Oh. I forgot.

Well, I guess we'll be
the ones to slink away.

Dee.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

All right!
Are you guys having fun?

Yeah!
Are you guys
loving this or what?

This is my dream.
I'm loving it!

- Great, because I'm not.
- Me neither.
- Okay, I'm not loving it.

I used to love trash,
but this is just not
how I wanted this to go.

No, not at all. Yes,
we're making lots of money,
and that's great,

but our tuxes are ruined,
and our limousine is covered
in trash and seagulls.

The gulls are shitting
all over me.

No, look, we've essentially
become garbagemen. That's what
I was trying to avoid.

Guys,
can I make a suggestion?
Hmm?

I don't want to do
Frank's plan anymore, so I say
we just quit right now.

- Let's quit it.
- Yeah, but I still have
a lot of energy.

- Me too.
- And I would like to take
one of our old plans...

out of the trash and recycle it.

You want to sell gas
door-to-door? I've been
thinking it the entire time.

That's what I was thinking.
Are you kidding me?

- I have totally been
thinking about that.
- See, 'cause we're like...

Our friendship is like...

It's strong.
We'd never throw that out.

That can't be trashed!
Never throw that out.

That gas idea was a great idea,

and it was trashed long before
it should've been trashed.

Yeah, yeah. Uh, I have
one more suggestion.
Yeah?

Instead of taking that
all the way to New Jersey,

let's just dump it in a poor
neighborhood, because they don't
mind living in their own filth.

Absolutely.
They don't know any better.

I mean, why else would they
choose to live like that?
They don't care.

They don't have...
They clearly don't care.
Let's do it.

Guys, the boys are back in town.

The boys are back in town.
The boys are back in town.

♪♪

He just tried to kiss me.
Yeah, he did a little bit.

♪♪ ♪ The boys are back in town ♪

♪ The boys are back in town ♪♪

Brothers,
I got some good news.
We're going back to work.

Yeah!

The new contract is being
finalized as we speak.

Now, of course, we had to
make a few compromises.

What kind of compromises?

Um, well,
there were certain issues
that we had to deal with.

Issues?

Certain?

Give me that.
Brothers, I don't know
about you,

but I can't understand
this college boy's language.

Am I right?
We gotta have it
in plain English.

- Okay, sir,
I was just getting to that.
- He was just getting to that.

He's trying to confuse us
with his fancy language...

and his expensive podiums,

but we know the truth.

I don't.

Look, if you'd just
let me finish...
This contract is bullshit.

We gotta keep the strike going.

Would you please just
let him finish his sentence?

- But he's lying to us.
- But he hasn't said
anything yet.

Yeah, well, he's lying anyway.

Hey, y'all, it's me,
Martina Martinez.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- What are you...
- Give it to me.
Give it to me.

These white boys is crazy,
right?

Youse about to get screwed
by y'all city
and y'all union as well.

Okay, ma'am, if you just
give me the mike, please...
Rape! Rape! Rape!

Oh, my...
This white boy's
got his hands...

all over
my beautiful brown body!

Thank you.

Now, why is it...

that my Latino
and my proud
African brothers...

gotta be doing all the work
while these cracker-ass bitches
doing the negotiating?

Yeah.

- What are you doing?
- Just go with it.

Let me "aks" you something.

Why we got to be
the trashmen and the maids
and the gardeners, hmm?

- Yeah.
- Why we got to live next to the trash dumps and the ghettos?

We deserve better!

When was the last time
a white lady
pick up after you...

when you threw your
orange soda and your grape sodas
on the ground?

- You're losing them.
- Uh, well, there's, uh...
there's...

Well, hold on a second.
What's happening over here?

Oh, my God!
The white upper-class man
has no respect for us.

They're dumping their trash
in our neighborhoods.

♪ So buy our classy gasoline ♪

♪♪

- We gotta go get 'em.
- Yeah!

- Go get those guys.
- Let's go get 'em.
Go get 'em.

Let's get ourselves worked up
into a wild and crazy...
Let's go get 'em.

Hang on a second.
What's this all about?

Now that looks to be
like some sort of swarming mob.

Yeah, I know. What are they
so angry about though?
I don't know.

Something bad's
about to happen to somebody.

Is it us?
Yep.

Get in. Get in.
Go, go, go, go, go.

♪ The boys are back in town ♪

♪ The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town ♪♪

Don't dump your trash
in our neighborhood,
you rich pricks!

Sorry! Sorry!

No to the contract.
Right?

Right?
No to the contract.

No to the contract!
No to the contract!

What the hell were you guys
doing dumping down there?

Look, it would've been fine
if Dee hadn't incited
a race war.

How was I supposed to know
it was you guys?

We were going back to
the old gas plan, okay?

Why?
Why don't you do my plan?

Why couldn't you guys
just grease that
city council guy?

I mean, so what
if he's gay, you know?
He zigs, you zag.

- I would've gotten the contract.
- - Can we just forget about the whole thing, please?

Yes.
Let's just forget about it.
Can I get a beer?

- I'm on it.
- I don't want to talk about it.
Let me have a beer.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, beer me, beer me.

Yes, beers.

We should get rugs for the bar.

We should make rugs for the bar.

- Make them?
- I got a rug guy.

We could put on a show
where we play rug salesmen.

That's a good idea.
That would attract
a great amount of attention.

No, no, wait.
What? No. What?

Guys, we give up way too easily.

Then we just jump
on to the next thing?
What? That's insane.

Look, all we have to do
is make a couple adjustments
and this plan can still work.

Dennis, if you want to be
classy and you're good
with city councilmen...

and you think
you can get him, great.

Be classy and bang the guy.
Go get him!

I'll get him,
but I'm not gonna bang him.

He's a twank versatile.
You watch yourself.
Ooh.

I wouldn't be able to
satisfy him. A twank versatile?
That's impressive.

Look, the point is,
we gotta learn
from our mistakes, right?

You know,
make a couple adjustments.

Let's solve this trash crisis.

♪♪

Okay, when we arrive,
Dennis will do
all of the talking,

Frank and I will handle
the refuse, and Dee
will take the wheel.

Then we can strap me onto the
back for the rest of the day.
Everybody's happy.

Yeah, guys,
I can't believe it, but I think
this might actually work.

See? All we had to do
is learn from our mistakes
and then work together.

Everyone got to contribute
something to the group
as a whole.

What did you contribute?
Try the brakes.

Try the...
Did you cut
the brakes again?

Yep!
Goddamn it!
Goddamn it!

Oh, Charlie!
Why would you do that, Charlie?

- That's just what I do!
- Wild card, bitches!

What?
Yee-ha!

Oh, my... We have no brakes!

Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

What are you doing?
What... Oh!

That's that.
Whoo! Good call on getting
those brakes fixed, Mac.

Yeah, I saw that
coming a mile away.

All right. Now that we got rid
of our wild card, we can
actually see this thing through.

So, we good?
Oh, yeah. This is
gonna be easy money.

Grab some trash,
you bitches.
Okay.

I'm telling you, this is gonna
be great. This is really...
This is gonna work, I think.

Guess the strike's over.

Goddamn it.

So, the rugs?

Yeah, the rugs.
Well, yeah, the rugs.

It's always been the rugs.
Of course it's the rugs.

It's always been the rugs.
We should get a billboard.

♪ In your neighborhood ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ If there's something weird
and it don't look good ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪♪