All language subtitles for diagnosis_murder_s04e25_comedy_is_murder

Is this cannon ready for firing? Yes,
sir. She's all set now, sir. Yes, sir.

right, are you sure?

All right, sir, yes, sir. All right, I'm
going to take the men around to their

left flank.

I'll fire two shots in the air, and then
fire, and then... All right, company!

millions of people forgot their
problems, put aside their differences,

shared the priceless gift of laughter.

After Conrad and Huckabee broke up and
their TV show ended, Harvey Huckabee

continued to provide joy and laughter
going overseas to entertain the troops

all of us at home with his unforgettable
respect.

Only for me, it wasn't in front of a TV
screen.

My father wrote the show.

And every Saturday, I was backstage
watching this great master at work.

Those are cherished moments for me.

Which is why I'm honored to welcome
Harvey Huckabee into the Institute's

pantheon of TV legends.

Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank
the Institute for this wonderful honor.

I can't tell you how long I've been
looking for a good doorstop.

But seriously, it means a lot to me.

All my work will be...

You know, it was only a bruise, but Mr.
Conrad kept insisting that his finger

was crushed and that the pain was so
intense. Like roosting alive in the

furnaces of hell?

Yeah, how'd you know?

I've been his doctor for a long time. He
has a very low threshold for pain.

I gave him some aspirin and an ice pack
and I sent him home. And then he asked

me, when do we start physical therapy?

Are you sure?

You're really red in the face.

Yeah.

Are you having shortness of breath?

Let me take a look.

Let me take a look.

What?

You're okay?

Oh, it's around the corner.

Amanda, have you seen Tim Conrad?

He's in the men's room, and he seemed
very jumpy. Well, he's allergic to

hospitals. Unfortunately, he's also a
klutz.

Mark, Mark, thanks a lot. Boy, that's
great what you did there. Oh, and

I'm sorry, but I'm on this darn water
diet, and it just goes right through

Well, Tim, you must be working. You look
great.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm down the old fighting weight. Yeah,
well, it just takes, you know.

It takes discipline when you're on a
diet. Being disciplined like that.

Say, listen, did you hear that Monolith
is making a movie based on a sketch from

our show? Huh? No.

Well, that's wonderful.

Are you going to be in it?

Uh, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. I'm way
too busy. No other commitments and

everything. Yeah, well, thanks a lot,
guys. Appreciate it. Yep.

How's Harvey?

Oh, just limping along.

Sad, sad, Martin. Very sad.

Mm -hmm.

Didn't I read where he was getting some
kind of an award from the Television

Institute? Uh -huh. Yeah, well, see,
that's what I mean, yeah.

You know that he has donated thousands
of dollars to the Television Institute

over the last five years? Yeah.

Yeah, that old fraud, he's so insecure
that he had to buy his own award.

He's directing television now, isn't he?

Mm -hmm, yeah, yeah.

Well, actually, he has to.

We can't make it as a performer anymore,
you know?

I don't know, I just kind of lost the
contact with the audience.

You know, I can't make them laugh
anymore.

Yeah, I'll happen to you once in a
while, you know.

I'll tell you one thing.

He doesn't dare work at my level.

Dinner at the theater?

Mm -hmm.

I'll dare for a fat dinner at the
theater, you know.

Well, I'll have to get down and see one
of your shows sometime, Jim.

Mm -hmm.

I've got to get going. I've got to find
me an appointment for once.

Harvey, look.

I've done all the groundwork, and after
setting up this project for two years, I

deserve to write the Conrad Huckabee
movie.

Ah, chlorinated waters. It's murder on
the eardrums.

Oh, that's better. I'm sorry. Did you
say something?

Only the same thing I've been saying for
months, that morally and ethically,

this script is mine.

Yeah, but contractually, it belongs to
the guy that wrote Beyond the Beyond,

which had a $30 million opening weekend.
Hello?

You hired another writer without
consulting me? I'm the producer!

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

We hired the producer of Beyond the
Beyond, too.

Pardonnez -moi.

You did what?

Oh, baby, I only did what was best for
the picture.

A -list talent, kid.

That's what gets movies made, not
wannabes.

Oh, honey, it's probably for the best.
Look, this way the movie's guaranteed to

make a ton of money. We can take our
share. We can make the films you always

wanted to make. No, no, this is the film
I've always wanted to make, and I'm not

going to let this old buzzard take it
away.

See you at the movies.

Well, it's good that you came.

Now, he wouldn't say it, but I think
Harvey was really hurt you missed him at

the presentation.

Really, he wasn't as hurt as I was.

Well, look who's here.

Don't you two make a pretty picture.
Like Susan was your wife, not mine.

Harvey.

Oh, I forgot.

She was.

Well, the best man won.

He always does.

Yes, doesn't he? Uh -huh.

Well, that's kind of why I'm here, to
congratulate you. Oh, how thoughtful.

Thanks, but we're kind of busy right
now. Why don't you just drop by some

time if you're in the neighborhood? Good
seeing you, kid. Aha. Well, I thought

that we'd drink to the picture.

Oh, sure.

Sweetheart, make a note. We're going to
have a drink with Tim, you know, around

maybe at the premiere time. No, no, this
is very sweet of you, Tim, especially

after the way the finances worked out.
Yes, yes, yes. Well, I was kind of

desperate there, wasn't I?

I needed $25 ,000, and he was gracious
enough to buy my share of

the show.

A worthless asset at the time.

Who could know that Monolith was going
to make a movie out of it?

Are you suggesting I knew?

Oh, no, of course not.

Between the time that you bought me out
for thousands and Monolith bought you

out for millions, there must have been
weeks.

It's a fortunate coincidence.

You know, I've always been lucky.

Yes, yes, haven't you? Like the day you
met me.

You built an entire career on that lucky
shot.

Yeah, built is right.

Considering the amount of time I spent
propping you up, I could have gotten

the carpenters' union. Okay, enough,
enough.

Tim came for a celebration.

Yeah. Can't we all be friends just for
five minutes?

Well, all right. Here's to you.

I think the idea was to have a drink
together.

Aha.

It's looking at you, kid.

Yeah, to immortality. Yeah, even if it's
just on film.

Well, this has been a great reunion.

It's been good seeing you, Tim. Why
don't we do lunch sometime? You call my

girl, we'll set something up. Be sure to
give her your number in case we have to

cancel.

See you, kid.

Whoa! What is it?

Man, do I feel dizzy.

Lightheaded.

Well, that's what happens when you chug
two glasses of champagne on an empty

stomach in this heat.

I think I'd better lie down. Yeah.

Well, how does it feel to be the partner
with a knife in his back for a change,

huh? Tim, can you see yourself out? So
you think you're the master manipulator,

huh?

Think you're the only one that can make
yourself number one.

Well, pal... Huh?

So, in this bit, I have a parrot on my
shoulder, okay? The parrot has one line,

okay? Time comes for the parrot's line.
He drops dead. Who knows right there?

How's Tim? He's going to be fine. Had to
pump his stomach.

Overdose the tranquilizers.

You know, he was asking for painkillers
this morning.

Well, do you think it was deliberate?

I think it was Tim's only way of getting
some revenge against somebody who had a

lot more success than he did.

What kind of person tries to take his
own life to make someone else feel

You obviously don't know too many people
in the entertainment industry.

Well, Doc, is he going to live?

Thanks to you.

I should have gone around the block one
more time. But I was getting car sick

and... What happened to him? Something
he ate?

You could say that.

He's in the room if you'd like to see
him.

Well, I've seen enough of him.

Harvey, you saved his life. By rushing
him down here, he'd probably like to

thank you in person.

I've been saving his neck for 40 years
now. He never thanked me before.

That makes you think he'd start now.

Come in.

How are you feeling?

Oh, great, great, great. Just great.
Yeah, as a matter of fact, I was kind of

thinking maybe coming in once or twice a
week just to get my stomach pumped.

Seriously, Mark, I learned my lesson.

It's the last time I buy champagne at a
gas station.

Tim, I know what you tried to do with
those tranquilizers.

You do?

Does Harvey know?

Well, he didn't say anything to me, but
I think he's probably figured it out. I

mean, you can't hide something like that
for long.

Yeah, well, you guys can't prove
anything. I'll just say it was an

Tim, you've got to stop denying it,
especially to yourself.

You've got to admit to yourself what you
did.

Are you nuts?

You know, believe it or not, your trying
to take your life was a cry for help.

I didn't cry for help. I screamed.

Look, this afternoon, Dr. Madison from
our psychiatric counseling department

will be in just to have a little visit
with you.

Oh, good. Now, what happens after that?
It's up to you.

Uh -huh.

Bye, Doc.

Psychiatric. Oh, Harvey, you're a dead
man.

No, no, no.

I'm here to clean the pulo.

Yeah.

No,

no. It's not for sale.

No.

Just checking the pool.

Needs a little more chlorine.

I'll get this thing.

See you in hell, Harvey.

Pool man found a body when he opened up
the cover this morning.

Somebody rigged a pool cover motor to
the filter timer so the cover would

ten minutes after it was open, trapping
the victim underwater.

Oh, that wiring is a mess.

Some of it even looks shorted out.

Yeah, it's a real jumble. Our
electrician's still trying to get it all

unsangled. Well, it looks like the
killer didn't even know what he was

It worked, didn't it?

Lucky he didn't burn the whole house
down.

Well, what's going on here?

Tim, what are you doing here?

Oh, I just came over to thank Harvey for
what he did for me yesterday. I brought

my old pal a box of his favorite cigars.

Where is he?

Tim, this is my son, Steve. He's a
homicide detective.

He was like a brother to me. A sister.
Oh, the despair.

You know, I think you've got something
wrong. How is America? How am I ever

going to live without his immense
talent? Tim, Harvey Huckabee.

The ace in Hollywood. He's a legend.

He's an icon in show business that will
never, ever die.

I don't know what it means to me to hear
you say that. Just looking at you

reminds me that things could be worse.

Hi, Jim.

Who's in there?

Your ex -wife, Susan.

Ah, boy.

I'm afraid she drowned.

Someone rigged a pool cover to close
over her head.

We'll get through our grief together.

We will, you and I. Be strong.

Harvey went for his nightly swim at 8 p
.m. when he hit the pool cover switch,

the full light blue, along with every
bulb in the house. So he just forgot

it and went to bed. Where was Susan?

She was downtown at a charity function.
She left her home around 9.

Harvey never saw her?

No, he heard a car alarm at 9 .30, but
that's it. So he went back to sleep

his 7 a .m. wake -up call, the pool man
screaming.

Oh.

Take the firm hold of the hypodermic
needle. Right.

a little bit of pain and then numbness
will set in.

How could they have broken up? These
guys were great together.

They were acting, Jesse.

Nah, you can't pretend to be having that
much fun.

Oh, I guess we'll get right to it.

Well, you can if you get paid enough.

cracking up. I mean, they were having a
great time.

Well, maybe they were on stage.

You can see it's like a couple that's
great and dead, but once they get out,

they can't relate to one another.

I don't see a problem there.

Harvey and Tim both have tremendous
amount of talent, but they had egos to

match. There was a lot of rivalry going
on in that relationship.

It finally wrecked it.

And how could they have stayed together
for so long?

Success. They were doing too well to
break up. They had a top ten hit there

almost a decade.

Then when the ratings started to
decline, they began to blame each other.

And when the show was canceled, they
split up just to go out and prove who

the best one.

Well, Harvey's continued to do well, but
what happened to Tim?

Would you remember Hollywood and Levine?

No. That's what happened to Tim. Oh,
yeah. Half man, half plant, all cop.

was a great show.

What?

You know, I hate to say this, but Tim's
reasons for attempting suicide are also

motives for murder.

I mean, his wife left him for Harvey,
took all the money, his career tank.

Well, same thing crossed my mind. I just
don't want to believe it.

We may have to.

A pool man did visit the Huckabee
residence yesterday, but it wasn't the

guy. Gardner gave us a description.

It's Mario.

Who's Mario? Mario Machismo.

Playboy, swinger, gigolo. Women melt
when they see him.

That was a joke, anyway.

And why Tim Conrad got so many laughs
when he played it.

Well, it's not funny anymore.

Tim should be finished with his audition
by now.

Well, boy, got the job.

Oh, congratulations.

That's great.

What are you guys doing here, anyway?

Oh, Tim, the police have a sketch of the
suspect in Susan's murder.

Uh -huh.

Doesn't that look familiar?

Uh...

Uh, no. No, no, no. I don't think I've
ever seen him before. Good -looking guy,

though.

Look at him now.

Hmm. Now, does that look like anybody to
you?

Ah, boy.

Ah. Take your time with it. Study it.
Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. Of course. Well,

can understand how the police are...
Yeah, Lefty Berrigan.

Lefty what?

Berrigan. Lefty Berrigan. Yeah. Got a
picture here. Yeah, he's a, uh, a loan

shark. Ah, yeah. Well, a guy from Las
Vegas. Big time, yeah.

Uh, Harvey's into him pretty deep.

Yeah, Harvey said he was going to give
up the ponies, you know, but then I

that old foul probably still got him in
trouble, didn't it? Tim. Hmm? Yeah.

The picture of you.

Yeah, yeah, common mistake, yeah. You
know, when we were in Las Vegas, people

used to throw money at me. I thought it
was just a fan appreciation for a great

talent. Then I found out I look exactly
like Lefty, you know. They're trying to

repay their debts now before it's too
late, you know. Bang, bang, problem.

Yeah, but if he did this, boy, he's
going down for it. I think I know just

to find him.

Well, Tim certainly had motive.

Well, it's the motive he's had for years
now. Why would he decide to kill her

now? The divorce was ten years ago.
Maybe he had an epiphany after his near

-death experience. Maybe he thought, why
kill myself? It's her fault.

I should kill her.

Eh, I don't buy it.

Well, the fake pool man was one of Tim's
character.

Well, it looked like one of Tim's
disguises, but anyone who saw the show

use one of those disguises.

Besides, I don't think Tim could carry
off that and elaborate a plot.

That's why the wiring in the pool shed
was so fouled up. Because Tim didn't

what he was doing. I mean, it's all
fixed, Mark.

Nice. Well, I got some good news and
some bad news.

Okay, what's the bad news?

We got a warrant in search of Tim's
place.

We found a sniper rifle, the Mario
disguise pool cleaning equipment, and a

of mercenary magazines.

One of which has plans on how to rig a
pool cover motor to a filter timer.

And Tim's prints are on everything.

What's the good news?

That is the good news, too.

Case is closed.

I'm going to arrest Tim Conrad for
murder.

Just as soon as I can find him.

What do you mean, find him?

Tim Conrad has disappeared.

Diagnosis murderer will continue.

On the explosive season finale, it's the
murder of Mark Sloan. When a double

Joseph diagnosis continues, CBS Max.

CBS.

Welcome home.

Yes, Dr. Sloan.

I don't have a patient in 311.

Mrs. Who?

Mrs. Gronick?

I'm Dr.

Sloan. Look, I am sorry about the
confusion, but I don't think I've ever

you. Good.

Now, that's exactly what I want you to
tell the cops.

Tim, what are you doing? Are you
kidding? The heat's on.

I'm not going to fry.

I'm going to split the country. Now, all
I need is some good buddy of mine to

lend me a set of wheels, huh?

No, Tim, this is insane. You've got to
turn yourself in. What? For a murder I

didn't commit?

Oh, you don't know how glad I am to hear
you say that.

So you weren't the one who sneaked onto
Harvey's property in disguise.

No, no, no. That was me.

But you weren't the one who wired the
pool cover to automatically shut.

No, I did that.

Well, then why do you say you didn't
commit the crime?

Because it wasn't supposed to be Susan
in the pool.

We're trying to kill Harvey.

Yeah, right, yeah. Try explaining that
to a jury.

Why would you do that? You split up
years ago. Because a couple of weeks

Harvey, he bought my share of the show
for 25 grand, right?

So then he turns around and he sells it
to Monolith for a million.

Tried to cheat me out of my share, huh?

Ah, that bum. He's done that before, you
know.

Gotta eat more fruit.

I wish I'd have given this more thought.

Well, if you had, I think you would have
realized what a terrible thing you were

doing and changed your mind.

No, no, no, no. I would have used the
pool cover remote.

That way I could have hidden in the
bushes and watched him die.

Tim, will you listen to yourself? This
is crazy.

Yeah, you're right.

Once the lights blew out, I couldn't
have seen him.

You know, if you had used the remote,
you wouldn't have had to sabotage the

wiring. The lights wouldn't have blown
out.

I never said I was a master electrician.

No, you didn't, did you?

You didn't have the foggiest notion of
what you were doing. It's lucky you

didn't blow up the whole place.

I didn't come here to be insulted.

Tim, you didn't kill Susan. And I'm
going to prove it.

You are? How?

But first you've got to turn yourself
in. The more you run, the more guilty

look. Yeah.

Maybe you're right.

Look, I've got to do one more thing,
though. Tim, I'm not going to examine

No, no, no, no.

I'm just going to change clothes.

Oh, good idea.

You've got about five minutes. Right.

You're doing the right thing.

Right. Yeah.

Of course I didn't tell Susan.

How could anybody possibly think that?

Somebody did, don't they?

Somebody who wanted to frame me.

I think I know who that is.

We'll be down in about half an hour,
Steve.

I don't know what was wrong with Mrs.
Grolnick, but you sure seem to have

her. Yeah?

The woman in 311, right? Yeah. I've
never seen an old lady sprint so fast.

Oh, no.

The studio took

my office, my golf cart. They even
ripped up my drive -on pass.

Do you still have your employee ID?

Yeah. I hid it in my sock.

Look on the bright side. You'll still
get 10 % off the studio tour.

Phil, please.

Honey, can't you see he's still
grieving?

Could you please pass me the Dijon?
Sure.

My father gave you the best years of his
life, and this is how you honor his

memory? By cheating his son.

Your father was a mediocre writer who
was blessed to be working with a hot

comedy team.

Phil, I'm trying to do you a favor.
You're doing me a favor by having me

off the lot and humiliating me in front
of the entire industry.

No. By protecting your father's
royalties.

If you wrote that script, this picture
would never be made.

Phil, it's not that you're an untalented
writer. You're wonderful in a lot of

ways, but not for this business.

Greeting card companies, always looking
for good people.

If you'll excuse me.

Sweetheart, it's up to the people who
really love you to say the difficult

things. Harvey's just trying to be
helpful.

Harvey is ruining my career.

Sweetie, they sell those cards
everywhere. Someone has to write them.

Want to take a dip?

Not much for a swimmer.

I do the breaststroke every night.

That's great.

Then I go swimming.

You know, I've never seen a pool cover
quite like this. Oh, this is fantastic.

So sturdy, an entire football team can
stand on it. You know, it must be a

nuisance, though, running back and forth
to the pool filter to open it up.

Oh, I never exert myself. If I can avoid
it, I use this thing.

Voila.

Well, then why did you use the manual
switch the other night?

Yeah, it didn't work.

Well, it's working now.

Story of my life lately. Sometimes it
works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes

it's ooh, sometimes it's boo.

We need to talk to you about that. It's
probably nothing at all. Give me a call.

We'll make an appointment.

Promise? Sure. Thanks.

I hate this damn thing.

Relax, honey. I'll take care of it.

I keep one of these in my car. It
discourages the thieves and it's

What is it?

Melted ice cream bar.

Works great.

Wow. Must be a friend of Harvey.

Oh, yeah. I like to think I am. I've
been his doctor for years.

You're the guy who removed his heart.

I'm so sorry about the noise. Once you
lock the car, the alarm is automatically

set. It's supposed to be a convenience,
but...

It's a real pain.

Well, at least nobody takes your car.

Yeah, for a couple days.

Studio leased it for us. And now, thanks
to Harvey, my deal there is as dead as

Susan.

Bill. What?

Harvey's not shedding any tears for her.
Why should I?

Please forgive my husband.

It's been a very difficult week.

He's going to divorce her anyway.

Until he found out that he'd lose half
of everything, including any profits for

the movie. Now, he can keep it all.

Susan was a wonderful woman, and I'm
sure that Harvey's grieving for her in

own way.

You know, it's hard for someone who
makes people laugh to share their hurt.

I'm sure you're right.

All right, thanks.

I put photos of all of Tim's characters
out on the wire.

He's not going to get away again.

I can't understand why he ran.

Because he didn't want to get caught?

But I'm sure he didn't kill Susan.

Well, he can still go to jail for the
attempted murder of Harvey Huckabee.

You know, what if Harvey knew that?

I mean, we know he had to go back and
use the manual switch to open that

Well, he said he just reached in without
looking.

What if he didn't?

You mean what if he saw the wiring and
figured out that Tim was trying to kill

him? Mm -hmm. Saw a way to get rid of
his wife and pin it on his ex -partner,

whom he hated.

It's a reach, Dad, but I'll check out
Harvey Huckabee just to be safe.

Works.

Dad, I trailed Harvey to a seedy motel.

Oh, so Harvey is up to something, huh?

Yeah, but I can hardly pull him in on
suspicion of murder just because he has

bad taste in lodging.

Well, maybe I can.

Uh -oh.

Tim's here.

Dad I'll call you back.

Having an affair with Phil's wife?

The hotel manager says they've been
meeting there for the past six months.

You know, if Susan found out and
demanded the divorce, it would have cost

millions. That's a pretty solid motive
for murder.

It would be a lot more solid if he just
hadn't been kidnapped by our prime

suspect.

You know, maybe Tim thinks he can make
Harvey confess that he closed the pool

cover on Susan.

Wait a minute.

The remote!

What about it?

I've got one more little thing to check,
and then I think we have our killer.

Just how pathetic are you? I mean, you
can't even kidnap someone, right?

Well, that'd be a lot more convincing if
you weren't tied to that chair.

In my own home?

How scary.

What are you going to do next? Make me a
sandwich?

I'll laugh in your face.

That's the cunning part of my cunning
plan. Who'd ever think of looking for

here if you're a kidnapper? And wearing
that cunning disguise will prevent me

from identifying you?

Exactly.

No detail. Too small to escape my grasp.
Good plan, I see. Okay, now, so what do

you want, Tim?

Don't call me Tim. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay,
look, all I want you to do is admit that

you killed Susan. I'll let you go.
That's it? All right, you got it. Hold

Confession, take one.

Mark.

I kill Susan. Okay, let me go.

Boy,

I got you. Now, admit that I... I mean
that Tim Conrad was the partner with

all the talent.

Confession on talent, take one.

Mark.

Action. Tim Conrad was the partner with
all the talent.

More convincing.

Tim Conrad was the one with all the
talent.

Good on the head shake. I like that.
Okay. Now, I want to get half of

that you make on the movie sale.

Half of the money, Mark.

Roll them.

Action. I'm going to give Tim half of
everything I make on the movie sale.

Cut, print, update. Now, let me go.

Let's go.

Wait till they see this. Come on.

Wait a minute.

You just saying all that so I'll untie
you. Of course I am.

I'm not the psycho who wired the pool
house to kill my wife. Oh, so you admit

that that was my idea, huh? I'm
surprised you didn't take credit for it.

I am not a murderer, not like this
maniac.

He killed my wife. Don't try to kill me.

Dad,

I'm not sure what we're doing out there.

Works pretty well, doesn't it?

It's a marvel of modern engineering.

But while we're admiring it, I'm worried
about what Tim might be doing to

Harvey. Oh, I don't think Harvey's in
any real danger.

You want to ask Susan Huckabee about
that?

Murderer, butcher, creep.

Maybe we should discuss that theory
later.

No,

not my humanitarian award.

I confess you worm.

I thought that was my line.

Detective, I was just about to call you.

I got the man right here.

You're more than welcome.

Yeah, well, I don't need your sarcasm.
Leaving me alone with this dementia

precox. Okay.

I admit that my personality's been a
little strange lately, but... Oh, look

there.

Oh, cunning move.

Read him his rights. I want to hear
this. No, no, no. Read him his rights.

You're going down for murder.

Now, wait a minute.

Nobody's going down just yet.

This is going to tell us who murdered
Susan Huckabee.

We got here as quickly as we could.

Were you serious when you said you'd
reconsider it? No.

What is this, some kind of joke?

My jokes are funny.

Not without me, they aren't.

You can blame me for Harvey misleading
you into coming here.

Wait, Dr. Sloan.

If you need me to give blood or bone
marrow to this guy, you can think again.

No, this isn't medicinal. This is
criminal.

I'm a consultant to the police
department.

That would be me.

I don't understand.

We're investigating the murder of Susan
Huckabee.

So what does that have to do with us?

With you, nothing.

But Candy, I'm afraid you're going to
jail.

Now that is a joke, and a funny one.

Wish it was.

You were having an affair with Harvey,
weren't you?

Since when is that a criminal offense?

How could you do this to me?

What Harvey said about you is true.

Come on, Phil, I have to look out for
myself.

You knew Harvey would never leave his
wife because that would mean giving up

half of everything he had, which is
really all you ever wanted, wasn't it?

Well, thanks a lot.

Even if that were true, and it is not,
Pookie.

It does not make me a murderer.

That night when Harvey went to use the
pool, he couldn't use the pool cover

because the remote wouldn't work.

He had to use a switch over by the pool
motor.

And yet in the morning when the pool man
came, it worked just fine.

So what?

Prove you murdered Susan Huckabee.

Aha! So, you thought you had it all
figured out, huh?

Well, tough luck, baby.

You and all your devious machina...

Machinations. Machinations.

Pookie?

You overlooked.

One detail.

Small detail.

But a detail so glaringly obvious that
anyone could see it.

You saw it, didn't you?

Yes. Yeah, I think I did.

You snuck onto the property that night
after Harvey went to bed.

You tried to close the pool cover on
Susan with the remote, but the battery

dead. You replaced it with a battery
from your car alarm remote.

It worked fine, didn't it?

Ah, that sucks.

That's exactly how I saw it. The car
alarm that woke me up, that was you.

You couldn't deactivate the alarm
because you left the battery in the pool

remote.

Pookie's catching on.

You had to pull the fuse, just like you
did when I met you.

And I bet if we check the battery for
Prince, we'll find yours.

I'm afraid you're under arrest, Mrs.
Arkin.

Bill?

Honey? Aren't you going to cover?

I owe you an apology.

You're kidding.

No, not this time. I must have done some
terrible things to you to make you do

what you almost did.

Look, pal, I'm... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'll tell you what. Why don't you
just give me my fair share of the movie

sale? We'll call it quits, okay?

Sorry.

It's a deal.

Mm -hmm.

Uh, you know, there's one thing I don't
understand. That pool motor, you know, I

took the insulation off that ground
wire, then I hooked it up to the

wire there.

Uh, how did that rewiring, what did that
do?

You shorted out the lights.

Expect a bill.

Uh -huh. It, uh...

about anything because I know it all.
Especially show business. No, no, no. I

know more about show business. Oh,
really? I was actually born in show

Is that so? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad was
out performing when I was born, you

know, and the doctor brought me right on
stage. He stopped singing.

Doctor handed me to my dad and he looked
down and my dad said, well, he has my

smile. You know what the doctor said?

You're holding him upside down?

Yes. You know, when I was born, I was so
ugly, the doctor slapped everybody.

But I want to tell you, you have been a
great audience.

I haven't had this much fun in 20 years.
Oh, you know, when our picture comes

out, people are going to be clamoring
for us. I don't think they ever stopped.

You guys are legends.

Well, officially only I am. You're kind
of an honorary legend, but I'm lobbying

in your behalf.

Oh, thanks, pal.

Hey, as long as bygones are bygones, why
don't we get together again? Fire up

the old act. Oh, you really mean it? Of
course I mean it. Just like the old

days. Huckabee and Conrad.

Isn't it Conrad and Huckabee? At one
time. It worked then, but not now. You

there's a whole new image now. Today,
people are hip. Do you think polyester

indentures are hip? Well, what about the
pacemaker?

What about you? Look at that neck. You
ever take a ride in a convertible? It'll

fall off. Hey, that's a little rough.