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1
00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:04,436
(woman)
neil? Neil!
2
00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:05,104
Yes, honey?
3
00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:07,306
Neil degrasse tyson,
I asked you
4
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:08,574
To take the dog out
for a walk
5
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:11,744
When I left the house
four hours ago.
6
00:00:11,746 --> 00:00:12,378
Now I come back,
7
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:13,879
And this little
mother[bleep] sputnik
8
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,948
Has done pissed
on my drapes.
9
00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:18,150
Now I've got to get rid
of those things
10
00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:19,084
And get new ones.
11
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:21,253
Neil, it doesn't
make any sense.
12
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,888
You are
an astrophysicist.
13
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:29,261
How can you not keep track
of little details like this?
14
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,964
Well, actually,
15
00:00:31,966 --> 00:00:32,998
It's the little details
16
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,335
That cannot be kept track of,
by definition.
17
00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:40,506
In 1927, a german
university lecturer
18
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:41,807
Named werner heisenberg
19
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:45,644
Came to a seemingly
paradoxical conclusion,
20
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:48,380
That the more we know
about the position
21
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,915
Of a particle
in physical space,
22
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:53,285
The less we know about
its momentum, and vice versa.
23
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,054
Okay, but what--
what does that have to do--
24
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:57,389
Taken in conjunction
with what we know
25
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,558
About the expansion
of the universe,
26
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,728
This brings us
to a fascinating possibility,
27
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:07,332
That maybe what we experience
as one point in time-space
28
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:10,569
Could actually be
a legion of points,
29
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:13,405
Which would mean
that your curtains
30
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,040
And little sputnik's pee-pee
31
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:17,109
Could be as distant
from one another
32
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:21,280
As we are
from the furthest galaxy.
33
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,417
Okay.
34
00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:31,256
Well, just...
Next time.
35
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,394
Of course, dear.
36
00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:38,664
[haunting western music]
37
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:46,905
♪ ♪
38
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:07,092
At some point, man,
I got to, like,
39
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:11,163
Slip some--some--some weed
into, like,
40
00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:13,499
Some of your cookies
or something,
41
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:15,667
And just, like,
get you high, man.
42
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:16,535
Yeah, that would not be
43
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:18,403
The worst thing
that ever happened.
44
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:19,371
That might be fun.
45
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:21,773
[sinister laugh]
also ecstasy.
46
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,876
- I don't know about all that.
- Heroin.
47
00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:25,878
Maybe I'll have
a little marijuana.
48
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,146
Laced with acid.
49
00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:28,580
No, thank you.
50
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:37,856
Welcome to the team,
mr. Wise.
51
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:38,490
Thank you.
52
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:43,428
Now, being an arizona
assistant state's attorney
53
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:44,630
Is an important job,
54
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,031
One we take
very seriously.
55
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:50,602
In fact, we are willing
to do anything to win.
56
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:51,270
It's my honor, sir.
57
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:53,605
And I look forward to serving
the state of arizona.
58
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,240
Are these marbles?
59
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:56,375
How's that?
60
00:02:56,377 --> 00:03:00,679
I was just admiring
your container of marbles.
61
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:01,880
Why, yes.
62
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:05,217
My wife got them for me
as a gift...
63
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,218
Oh.
64
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,986
For my birthday.
65
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,955
Which brings me
to a speech
66
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:13,158
I like to give anyone
on their first day
67
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,261
Here at
the state's attorney office
68
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:18,197
Of arizona.
69
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:21,500
You see...
Lady justice
70
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:22,834
Is a committed woman.
71
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,103
She's a slippery
little scallop,
72
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,772
As you can observe...
73
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:29,908
[dramatic music]
74
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,978
♪ ♪
75
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:34,112
She doesn't cook,
doesn't clean,
76
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:38,250
But what she does do,
is she'll turn a blind eye...
77
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:46,725
♪ ♪
78
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,027
What is going on?
79
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:49,761
What?
80
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,330
What are you doing?
81
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:52,698
Oh, uh...
82
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:53,999
I don't--
83
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,100
The marbles, they're just--
84
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:57,669
I got to tell you,
they're just so beautiful.
85
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,705
I was wondering
what it would feel like
86
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:00,739
To--in my mouth.
87
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,407
Like, what would
the marbles feel like
88
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,375
If they were in my mouth?
89
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:06,144
[laughs]
that's...You know.
90
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,312
What?
91
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:09,147
Just, you know...You know.
92
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:10,215
Like, just what would
it feel like
93
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:13,352
If there were just kind of
a whole ton of marbles
94
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:16,321
In my--in my face.
95
00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:18,757
Well, don't do that.
96
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,025
Just...
97
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:20,859
Just don't do that.
98
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,895
Yeah, yeah, of course,
of course.
99
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,030
What am I doing over here?
100
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:28,133
I mean, that's a thing
that a child would do, it is.
101
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:30,836
You were saying?
102
00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,305
I was saying
that lady justice,
103
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:36,975
She just stands there
in my office,
104
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:38,610
Looking at me.
105
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:46,852
♪ ♪
106
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:03,769
Hey!
107
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:06,571
Forget the marbles, boy!
108
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:11,076
Spit the marbles out,
please.
109
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,278
There you go.
110
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:16,715
[marbles clacking]
111
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,087
Well...
112
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:23,488
All right.
113
00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:27,125
Ah--
114
00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:29,995
[marble clacks]
115
00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:34,766
How many--really?
116
00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:37,336
Do you have any--
117
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,637
[marble rolling]
118
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,038
[stomps]
119
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,708
I'm gonna wait
for the last--
120
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:43,975
I'm assuming there's--
121
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,378
Yeah.
122
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:49,648
I know there's another one
in there.
123
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:55,120
- Nope.
- All right.
124
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:58,223
I am so--I'm--they're just
so beautiful.
125
00:05:58,225 --> 00:05:59,891
I can't--
it's just these marbles.
126
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:00,625
I got to tell you.
127
00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:02,928
You obviously don't
take this job very seriously.
128
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:03,462
I do, sir.
129
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,097
It's just these
particular marbles.
130
00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:06,131
I just needed to feel
131
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,733
What they felt like
in my mouth.
132
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,835
I don't know what is wrong
with me.
133
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:12,070
You know we do serious
business here, right?
134
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,105
Yes, I do know that.
135
00:06:13,107 --> 00:06:14,172
I'm 100% aware of that.
136
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,274
'cause I've forgotten
where I was.
137
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,142
You were saying that justice
138
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:19,845
Is a dumb, blind, old lady.
I heard every word.
139
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:20,679
Yes--no!
140
00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:23,415
She's not dumb.
141
00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:26,418
But she is blind.
142
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:29,588
She's reminiscent
of kerry washington
143
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:30,722
In her prime.
144
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:39,398
♪ ♪
145
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,032
Good god.
146
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:44,770
[muffled shouting]
147
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,838
[muffled yelping]
148
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,275
[muffled shouting]
149
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:56,314
[coughing]
150
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,516
[choking]
151
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,651
[muffled groaning]
152
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,254
[choking]
153
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:08,093
[marbles clattering]
154
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:11,430
[atmospheric choral music]
155
00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:18,937
♪ ♪
156
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:19,571
[intercom beeps]
157
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:24,309
Janice, send in
the cleanup crew.
158
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:29,114
Another one fell
for the marble trick.
159
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:32,184
[chuckling]
160
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:36,188
[humming]
161
00:07:41,427 --> 00:07:43,061
(man)
oh, man, I feel like crap.
162
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,530
I just came from
a trashy indian restaurant
163
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:46,998
In a strip mall.
164
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,366
Not bad food, though.
165
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:49,501
Got pretty lucky.
166
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:52,070
Got the hottest,
baddest curry
167
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,672
I ever ate in my life.
168
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:56,141
Place called naan sense,
indian joint,
169
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:57,876
Just, like, terminal 3.
170
00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:58,677
It's like, I'm going
171
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:01,446
To my brother's wedding
on Sunday, and it's like,
172
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:02,914
I don't even want to go.
173
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,049
I don't even like my brother.
174
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,617
My brother's, like, a jerk.
175
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:06,885
Don't like his wife.
176
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,086
She's, like, a bitch.
177
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:08,620
[rumbling]
178
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:09,821
I stayed with them
for, like, three weeks.
179
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,690
She was a bitch
to me, man.
180
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,191
I put my feet
on her coffee table.
181
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,527
She was like, "don't get
your feet on my coffee--"
182
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:16,728
I'm like, "who are you?"
183
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:17,963
[demonic growling]
184
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:18,930
[rumbling]
scrimps.
185
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,066
A ginger broad, man, like...
186
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:21,800
[rumbling]
scrimps.
187
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:23,301
Those are the worst people
on the planet.
188
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,135
So I said that to him.
189
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:25,604
I said that to him
in the parking lot.
190
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,839
I cornered him
a little bit, sure.
191
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,242
(demonic voice)
scrimps.
192
00:08:30,244 --> 00:08:31,142
He swung on me.
193
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,110
Can you believe that?
194
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,613
It's like, who sings
on their own brother, man?
195
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:35,947
Yeah, I swung back...
196
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,583
[demonic growling]
197
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:39,618
But that's cool, you know.
198
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:40,752
It's like, I haven't
seen him for a while,
199
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:44,356
But now I got this expensive
wedding I have to go to.
200
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,390
So it's crazy.
201
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:47,058
I got to get my tickets,
202
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,627
And that's a whole situation.
203
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:49,794
I hate doing that.
204
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:51,162
And--hold on a second.
205
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:53,732
Hey, hey, pal pal.
206
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:54,900
Start on
the downstairs bits.
207
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:57,469
I'm in the middle
of a conversation up here.
208
00:08:57,471 --> 00:08:59,304
[rumbling]
209
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:02,574
- Hey.
- Of course, of course.
210
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:03,708
Whatever you say.
211
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,744
Thank you.
212
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:06,511
Sorry about that.
213
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:08,880
Just have
a little guy here
214
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,348
Working on my suit...
215
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:13,418
(demonic voice)
from the eternal, from within.
216
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:16,121
You know, I mean, there's always
chicks at the wedding, right?
217
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,323
There is a guy in there.
218
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,958
- The answer is yes.
- [muttering nervously]
219
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,960
And hopefully, you know,
I can get, like,
220
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,795
Two down in one evening,
you know?
221
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:24,329
[exhales]
222
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,764
And speaking of
"two down in one evening,"
223
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:30,001
If they've got popcorn shrimp
and little lobster rolls,
224
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:30,802
I'm a happy man.
225
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:33,805
But they're not
going to have that...
226
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,740
(demonic voice)
stop!
227
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,443
Who goes there?
228
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,381
Sal.
229
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:44,649
My name is sal.
230
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:48,253
(demonic voice)
sal...The end is near.
231
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,187
What?
232
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,022
Why--what--
[stammering]
233
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:51,656
What do you mean?
234
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:54,225
(demonic voice)
everything is changing.
235
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:54,859
What do you mean?
236
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:57,696
(demonic voice)
the end is near, sal.
237
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,297
No, I don't know
what you mean.
238
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:00,265
What do you mean?
239
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:00,966
I don't want to die!
240
00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,734
(demonic voice)
there's nothing you can do.
241
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,002
The end is near.
242
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,137
Everything is changing.
243
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:09,140
From the eternal,
from within.
244
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,742
No, I don't want to die!
245
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:11,910
What do you mean?
246
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,979
(demonic voice)
the end is near.
247
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:16,247
(sal)
what?
248
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:17,983
[squeaky fart]
249
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:20,652
Sorry about that, man.
250
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:21,886
Of course.
251
00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:22,988
[bell chimes]
252
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,824
Change is coming.
253
00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:29,361
[bell chimes]
254
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,898
The craziest part
of all of this,
255
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,634
I actually am
on acid right now.
256
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:36,635
Are you right now?
257
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:37,369
- Yeah.
- Wow.
258
00:10:37,371 --> 00:10:39,270
Like, for instance,
I don't even--
259
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,506
I'm 90% sure you're here.
260
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:42,440
[laughs]
261
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,476
But if I shut my eyes
and you weren't,
262
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:45,877
I would not be surprised.
263
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:46,845
You would not be surprised
264
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,913
If this car just kind of
lifted off in the air
265
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:51,049
And just started driving
through space
266
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:51,850
With a rainbow trail.
267
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:54,486
- Mm-hmm.
- You would not be surprised.
268
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:58,356
Hey, none of this is real,
man.
269
00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,925
None of this is real,
okay?
270
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,527
Just surface--
271
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:04,996
[screaming]
272
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,700
- Yo.
- What's up?
273
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:09,968
Game of thrones,
though, dog.
274
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,703
Yo, you all caught up?
275
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:12,937
Yo, I totally binge-watched
276
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,172
That whole thing
last night, dog.
277
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,375
Yo, it's cold-blooded
up in westeros, dog.
278
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,744
They killed my [bleep] ned!
279
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:20,645
Ned starks?
280
00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:24,015
[hums game of thrones
theme song]
281
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,650
You ain't see that one
coming, did you?
282
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:27,552
- Oh, [bleep], hell no.
- Uh-uh.
283
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:28,486
- Oh, my god.
- Uh-uh.
284
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,288
I mean, my man
was just there, right?
285
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,790
And he got down there
on the thing.
286
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,224
- Like blip.
- [makes sword noise]
287
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:34,392
And then I was like,
"I ain't worried.
288
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,194
They ain't gonna kill
my boy ned starks!"
289
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,696
- Slit.
- And then plop.
290
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:38,730
I was like...
291
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:39,297
[screaming]
292
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,566
Yo, I told you they
cold-blooded up in there.
293
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:42,734
And then I was like,
"but that's okay,
294
00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:45,103
Because I still got
my [bleep] khal drogos."
295
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,037
Big dave navarro?
296
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,238
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
297
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,106
Big dave navarro?
298
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,208
Widdly-widdly-widdly
widdly-wow!
299
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,210
Yeah, that dude picked up
some molten gold,
300
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,945
Poured it
on [bleep] heads.
301
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:54,746
[screaming]
302
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,581
"I want to sleep
with my sister!"
303
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:57,248
Yo.
304
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,049
And he killed him, right?
305
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,651
I mean, he big like hercules
and everything.
306
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:01,586
I'm like, you can't
kill khal drogos
307
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:02,287
With a paper cut.
308
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:03,688
An infected scratch
up on there?
309
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:04,556
An infected scratch!
310
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:05,623
- But he got straight...
(both) killed!
311
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:08,326
Yo, but you know who my
favorite character is, dog?
312
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:09,194
Who's that, dog?
313
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:10,528
Pssst!
Khaleesies.
314
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:11,029
Khaleesi.
315
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:13,298
You know I be liking
some khaleesies, dog.
316
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,066
But what about khaleesies
317
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,868
Straight-up
with the dragons?
318
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:17,969
Oh, it's--
319
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,571
Khaleesies
with the dragons.
320
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:21,106
And khaleesi's
all like this.
321
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:24,142
And then we talking about--
[screeching]
322
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:25,043
[screeching]
323
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,478
[both screeching]
324
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:27,078
Whoosh!
325
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,680
Just straight
roasting goats!
326
00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:29,581
Yo!
327
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:30,381
Oh, my god.
328
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:31,282
And that's when they start
329
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,251
Killing characters
left and right, dog!
330
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,386
- At the wedding?
- Yo, at the wedding!
331
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,421
- Robb starks.
- What?
332
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:37,322
- His wife.
- What?
333
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:38,523
- They got his mama!
- Yo!
334
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:40,859
(both)
killed, killed, killed, killed!
335
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,060
That was a four-for-one, dog.
336
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:42,994
Four-for-one up there, dog.
337
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:44,262
That's a straight
four-for-one, dog.
338
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,029
Four-for-one up in there.
339
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,498
What about when they
got wildlings girl?
340
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:47,198
Talking about...
341
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,200
"you know nothing,
jon snow."
342
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:50,902
- Screek!
- Guh!
343
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:51,736
(both)
killed!
344
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:52,837
What about the hound, though?
345
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:53,638
- Yo!
- The hound!
346
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,306
"ah, I'm falling
down the hill!"
347
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:56,808
[indistinct shouting]
348
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,042
[humming]
349
00:12:58,044 --> 00:12:58,810
"kill me!
350
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:00,211
You've got to kill me!"
351
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:01,312
[high-pitched]
"no!"
352
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,347
(both)
killed!
353
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:03,581
Slowly, by omission.
354
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:04,048
Bingo.
355
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,017
Yo, what about my man
taiwan lannisters?
356
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:07,018
Taiwan lannisters.
357
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:07,819
Taiwan lannisters!
358
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:09,154
What about taiwan lannisters,
dog?
359
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,388
Yo, my man talking about,
360
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,023
"I'm taking a [bleep]."
361
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:14,759
He's like--ow!
362
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:15,860
(both)
killed!
363
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:16,995
By his own son.
364
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,029
What?
365
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:19,063
Da dinkles.
366
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:19,998
[gasps]
367
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:20,965
Da dinkles.
368
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,000
Da dinkles, yo.
369
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,368
Da dinkles.
370
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:24,235
Da dinkles!
371
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,336
Dinkles is my jam.
372
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:26,638
Can't nobody kill da dinkles!
373
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,139
Da dinkles is my jam,
my jelly,
374
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,841
My peanut butter,
and my peanuts.
375
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,509
- Dinkles.
- Da dinkles.
376
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,077
Dinkles, though!
377
00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:38,716
(both)
dinkles is my [bleep]!
378
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:41,753
[voices fading]
379
00:13:41,755 --> 00:13:48,693
[dramatic music]
380
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:51,930
(woman)
neil!
381
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,598
There you are.
382
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:54,399
What are you doing?
383
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:57,235
We have to go
to my aunt nelly's funeral.
384
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,204
How are you not ready?
385
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:01,739
I've been talking to you
about this all week.
386
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,875
How am I gonna find you
in your boxers
387
00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:06,511
Looking in
a science magazine?
388
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,478
[sighs]
389
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,147
I swear, neil,
390
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:09,981
Sometimes I think
391
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:14,352
You don't have any idea
of what's important.
392
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,222
Well...Actually...
393
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,424
An idea of what's important
394
00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:21,392
Is as close
as we can ever come
395
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:24,696
To any definition
of importance.
396
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,331
Our galaxy is one
397
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:30,401
Of over 100 billion
in the observable universe,
398
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:33,838
And it's 100,000
light-years across,
399
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:39,110
Which means it would take light
100,000 years to traverse.
400
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,178
Okay, but--
401
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,913
But that's just space.
402
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:46,251
If we were to chart
the history of the universe
403
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:47,986
On one calendar year,
404
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:51,022
The history of mankind
as we know it,
405
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:51,956
Would just take place
406
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,858
In the final second
of that year.
407
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:58,696
So, whether I'm ready now
or in 500 years,
408
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,798
Well, cosmically speaking,
409
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,269
The distinction is meaningless.
410
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:06,838
Well...Okay.
411
00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:12,944
I'm--I'm going now.
412
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:17,982
Good-bye, honey.
413
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:21,953
True story.
414
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:24,422
I went down to san francisco
with my girlfriend.
415
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,189
Brup-brup-brup.
416
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:26,591
And we were going
to an event,
417
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,626
And bill nye
the science guy...
418
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,161
[gasps]
was there?
419
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:30,895
No joke.
420
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,397
Bill nye
hit on my girlfriend
421
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:33,865
In front of my face.
422
00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:34,832
Did he really?
423
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,935
Bill nye the science guy...
424
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,903
You need the back
the [bleep] up.
425
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,371
Dude, pussy hound, man.
426
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:43,007
That guy
has laid down pipe.
427
00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:44,909
Probably
polycarbonate pipe.
428
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:46,177
Probably.
429
00:15:48,914 --> 00:15:52,317
[chatter on tv]
430
00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:59,123
[phone ringing]
431
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,024
Hello, this is gavin.
432
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:02,860
(colin)
hi, gavin, my name
is colin valenti.
433
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:05,129
I'm calling from
master travel incorporated
434
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,799
To tell you about an exciting
limited-time offer,
435
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,434
Exclusive las vegas getaway.
436
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:10,868
Can I have a few moments
of your time
437
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,804
To tell you
about this new package?
438
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,205
You know what,
I would love to,
439
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,341
But I just don't have the time.
440
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:17,709
[phone beeps]
441
00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:19,277
Hello?
442
00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:21,279
Hello?
443
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:24,048
[disconnect tone]
444
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:25,583
Hm.
445
00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:46,137
[touch tones beeping]
446
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,305
[line trilling]
447
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:49,807
[phone ringing]
448
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:52,744
(colin)
this is colin valenti,
master travel incorporated.
449
00:16:52,746 --> 00:16:53,811
How may I be of service?
450
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,179
Hi, colin valenti.
451
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,547
My name is gavin.
452
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:57,915
I think we just talked.
453
00:16:57,917 --> 00:16:59,450
Did we get disconnected?
454
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:03,187
(colin)
yeah, no--I mean, yeah,
I hung up on you.
455
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:06,891
Why would you do that?
456
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,359
I mean, are you even--
457
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,328
Are you even allowed
to do that?
458
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:13,331
(colin)
were you going to buy
the las vegas package?
459
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,000
Well, I mean, probably not,
but that's not the point.
460
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:17,201
(gavin)
the point is--
461
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,636
[phone beeps]
462
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:19,637
What the hell?
463
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,205
[touch tones beeping]
464
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:22,740
[line trilling]
465
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:23,775
(colin)
this is colin--
466
00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:24,709
Yeah, valenti.
Listen.
467
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,511
(gavin)
I don't know what
crawled up your ass
468
00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:28,246
And set up shop there,
but you don't get to hang up--
469
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,415
[phone beeps]
[gasps]
470
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,517
What?
471
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:34,519
Oh, my g--
472
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:35,887
[line trilling]
473
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:38,856
[phone ringing]
474
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,625
(colin)
what the [bleep] do you want?
475
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,026
What is your deal, huh?
476
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:44,796
(colin)
um, you don't want
the vegas package,
477
00:17:44,798 --> 00:17:45,863
So I don't want to talk.
478
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,598
I did us a favor,
wasting our time here.
479
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,133
(gavin)
stop, stop, don't you dare
480
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:52,770
Hang up that [bleep] phone,
okay?
481
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,172
(colin)
why shouldn't I?
482
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:55,139
Why shou--
483
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:57,408
What if I wanted
the vegas package?
484
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,077
Wha--you know what?
485
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,612
I want the vegas package.
486
00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:04,382
(colin)
sure you do.
487
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:05,516
[phone beeps]
488
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:06,584
What?
489
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,686
You mother[bleep]!
490
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:09,787
Oh, my god!
491
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,122
You son of a bitch.
492
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,391
[line trilling]
493
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,626
(colin)
come on, man, let it go.
494
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:16,761
[bleep] you, man!
495
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:17,462
[bleep] you!
496
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,864
I want five [bleep] packages!
497
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:20,731
Right now--you know what?
498
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,200
(gavin)
you know what?
Where's my wallet?
499
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,368
This is my credit card
number, right here.
500
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:25,403
Okay, listen.
501
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:26,204
Get [bleep] off me.
502
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:30,975
My credit card number
is 0074-5403-0098.
503
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,377
The expiration date
is 12-20!
504
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:35,012
And then--and then the--
oh, yeah!
505
00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:36,948
The security number is 084!
506
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:39,383
So run the damn card right now!
507
00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:40,184
Right [bleep] now!
508
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:42,553
You run it right [bleep] now,
asshole!
509
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:46,023
[suspenseful music]
510
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,925
(colin)
thank you for your business.
511
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,728
Well, I hope
you learned your le--
512
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,530
[phone beeps]
[gasps]
513
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,765
[screaming]
514
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,338
These new call scripts
are really great.
515
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,672
Yeah, I know, right?
516
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:02,507
[phone rings]
517
00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:10,248
What the [bleep]
do you want, kathy?
518
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,250
(woman)
neil!
519
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:13,317
Who is she?
520
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,352
Who is the white bitch
521
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:17,455
That left this
goddamn lipstick stain
522
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,457
On your collar?
523
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,858
Hmm?
524
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,994
Oh, I got you.
525
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,228
You're caught,
526
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,330
Because this
is apricot-colored,
527
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,765
And you know
who wears that?
528
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:28,666
White bitches.
529
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,601
And you can't talk your way
out of this one,
530
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:32,370
'cause I'm not
getting confused today,
531
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:33,771
'cause I got
my [bleep] in order
532
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,506
And I've done
my research.
533
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,240
Okay, neil?
534
00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:41,612
You see, we are here
at this point in space-time,
535
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:42,747
On a human scale.
536
00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:43,848
But at this point,
537
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,017
You a triflin'-ass
mother[bleep].
538
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:48,619
So expect the papers
from the lawyer,
539
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:51,022
'cause we're parting ways.
540
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:55,426
Well, actually...
541
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:56,260
No, no.
542
00:19:56,262 --> 00:20:00,097
We are always parting ways
and not parting ways
543
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:03,501
In every conceivable
combination.
544
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:06,837
Many physicists,
including stephen hawking,
545
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,206
Now believe that there is
546
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:11,609
An infinite number
of universes.
547
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:12,944
It's called multiverse theory,
548
00:20:12,946 --> 00:20:16,714
And it suggests that there are
an infinite number of universes
549
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:20,918
In which I didn't have sex
with that white woman.
550
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,354
I [bleep] bill nye
the science guy.
551
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:25,256
You bitch.
552
00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:31,495
Bill nye, little bitch.
553
00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:33,598
Looking like a pimple
554
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,833
That I'm about to itch.
555
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:40,805
Scratch off your head,
mother[bleep].
556
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,608
[voice cracking]
try and take my girl?
557
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,509
You a sucker.
558
00:20:48,547 --> 00:20:51,816
(keegan-michael)
none of this is real.
559
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:55,686
(jordan)
oh...[bleep]!
560
00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:58,189
♪ I'm gonna do
my one line here ♪
561
00:20:58,191 --> 00:21:00,391
Oh, yeah.
562
00:21:04,062 --> 00:21:07,098
His dick was as big
as the milky way.
563
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,667
You [bleep] bitch.
564
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:12,036
And as heavy as a quasar.
565
00:21:12,038 --> 00:21:14,472
You are a black hole,
566
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:14,505
Sucking up
every man you meet.
37222
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