Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,636 --> 00:00:08,407
What does it take
to save a child in africa?
2
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,609
To save them
from the violence?
3
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:15,347
To save them from becoming
a child soldier?
4
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:19,218
What if I told you
that all it took
5
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:22,388
Was just one beard?
6
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:23,422
For the price
of one costume beard,
7
00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:27,192
You can save a child
from becoming another statistic,
8
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:30,462
Another warlord's pawn.
9
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,531
Be safe.
10
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:38,337
That's right.
11
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,372
Just one beard.
12
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:44,343
And for a little more,
you can get him a cane.
13
00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:47,112
[inspirational music]
14
00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:48,514
[music stops]
15
00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:53,352
[door closes]
16
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:54,787
We are here for the children!
17
00:00:54,789 --> 00:00:57,256
[suspenseful music]
18
00:00:57,258 --> 00:01:01,293
♪ ♪
19
00:01:02,762 --> 00:01:06,365
[upbeat jazz music playing]
20
00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:16,442
These are all old people.
21
00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:19,378
We are wasting our time.
22
00:01:20,313 --> 00:01:21,880
Wait!
23
00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:25,317
[dramatic music]
24
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:34,393
♪ ♪
25
00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:41,300
[whistles]
26
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,234
[engine starts]
27
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,303
Go, go!
28
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:48,407
[inspirational music]
29
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:51,310
♪ ♪
30
00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:53,212
Call today.
31
00:01:53,214 --> 00:02:01,587
♪ ♪
32
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:06,158
[haunting western music]
33
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:14,199
♪ ♪
34
00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:34,686
There was one time
I was in my choir at school.
35
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,355
- Mm-hmm.
- My chorus teacher goes,
36
00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:38,490
"all right, so now we're gonna--
for this next number,
37
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,359
We're gonna need somebody
to play the tambourine."
38
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:41,760
Oh, no.
39
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:44,763
And, uh...It was very clear
he gave it to me and was like
40
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:47,533
You know, all right,
jordan, this black kid,
41
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:49,368
He's gonna be fine
with this tambourine.
42
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:50,936
I don't know, keegan, man.
I'm just not--
43
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,471
You could not
get it in there.
44
00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:53,872
The white half of me
45
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:55,407
Was just rocking
that tambourine.
46
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,676
And you were on
the two and the four.
47
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,778
(jordan)
and, like, I think by the end
of the class,
48
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,780
I was ashamed
I was half white.
49
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,649
You just couldn't
get it going, huh?
50
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:04,416
I still am.
51
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:05,551
You're still ashamed
that you're half white?
52
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:06,652
Yeah.
53
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,854
I hope your mom isn't
watching this episode.
54
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:09,521
No, she's fine.
55
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,823
She's probably
ashamed of it, too.
56
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,325
[laughs]
57
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,495
One, two...
58
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:16,995
[scats]
59
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:21,800
(all)
♪ there goes the girl
who owns my heart ♪
60
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:26,438
♪ I knew she was the one
right from the start ♪
61
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,774
- ♪ ooh-wah ♪
- ♪ our love is here to stay ♪
62
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,375
- ♪ ooh-wah ♪
- ♪ each and every day ♪
63
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:35,013
♪ we know that we will
never part ♪
64
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,449
[scats]
65
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:39,818
(lyle)
oh, wow.
66
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:40,819
Great work, everybody.
67
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:44,256
Troy, I love that little
motown outro thing.
68
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:44,823
Super soulful.
69
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,291
Cool.
Thanks, lyle.
70
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:49,895
Yeah, it just, uh, came to me,
so I went with it.
71
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:50,696
Wow.
That's crazy.
72
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:53,865
Hey, is this where
the a cappella group meets?
73
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,367
- Oh, hey, mark.
- Hey, lyle.
74
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:56,134
What's going on, buddy?
75
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,302
- Mark, get over here.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
76
00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:58,337
(lyle)
guys, this is my buddy, mark.
77
00:03:58,339 --> 00:03:59,605
He just transferred
from minnesota.
78
00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:01,840
I thought he could sit in
on a few practices.
79
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,675
I don't know,
maybe join the group?
80
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:04,843
Maybe.
[chuckles]
81
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:05,711
(lyle)
all right, guys.
82
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:06,979
Let's do "always been my girl"
again, from the top.
83
00:04:06,981 --> 00:04:09,047
- "always been my girl," okay.
- And...Mark?
84
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,782
- Show us your stuff.
- You got it, man.
85
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:11,783
- (lyle)
all right, guys.
Ready?
86
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,586
- One, two...
- [scats]
87
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,822
(all)
♪ there goes the girl ♪
88
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,991
♪ who owns my heart ♪
89
00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:23,729
♪ I knew she was the one
right from the start ♪
90
00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:26,331
- ♪ ooh wah ♪
- ♪ our love is here to stay ♪
91
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,467
- ♪ ooh wah ♪
- ♪ each and every day ♪
92
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:31,737
♪ we know that we will
never part ♪
93
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:34,339
[scats]
94
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:39,011
♪ ooh-wee-ee-ooh ♪
95
00:04:39,013 --> 00:04:39,811
[all laugh and clap]
96
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,780
(lyle)
you got to be kidding me.
97
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,515
Mark, that was
out of this world.
98
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,951
Oh, gosh, okay, well, hey,
it just came to me,
99
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,552
So I just went with it.
100
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:48,654
(lyle)
great.
Well, keep going with it.
101
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:51,723
Guys, have a safe weekend,
all right?
102
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,493
- See you on Monday.
- Nice to meet you guys, man.
103
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,461
- That was awesome.
- Isn't he the best?
104
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,562
Cool, guys.
Great practice.
105
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,364
- Troy, good effort.
- All right.
106
00:04:59,366 --> 00:04:59,965
[troy laughs]
107
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,500
Yeah, check you later, guys.
108
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:05,003
See you later, alligators.
109
00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:10,409
[ominous music]
110
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:17,983
♪ ♪
111
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:21,787
The [bleep] you think
you doing, [bleep]?
112
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:25,057
I'm doing my thing, [bleep].
113
00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:26,692
The [bleep] you doing?
114
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,093
See...
115
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:31,930
This is my seven white boys,
[bleep].
116
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,099
- [scoffs]
- you need to back
117
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,068
The [bleep] up.
118
00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:39,071
[bleep] that, [bleep].
119
00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:40,706
I'm 'bouts to get mine.
120
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:43,442
Do you have any idea
how long it took
121
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:47,879
For me to infiltrate
this group, [bleep]?
122
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,116
25 minutes.
123
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,618
You think I'm gonna
roll over
124
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:56,722
For some falsetto-ass
mother[bleep]?
125
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,423
[scoffs]
126
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:01,560
Well, you know what, [bleep]?
127
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:06,098
White boys is gonna do
what white boys is gonna do.
128
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:06,998
And if they want to run
129
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,870
With a high-ass-singing
falsetto [bleep],
130
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,705
Then that's on them.
131
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,906
Oh, that's on them, then?
132
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,074
Oh, that's on them,
then.
133
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:16,942
Okay, so it's like that?
134
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:19,077
Oh, it's so
like that.
135
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,445
Well, watch your back, [bleep]!
136
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,748
- Okay.
- Watch your back, [bleep]!
137
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,016
'cause you [bleep]
with my [bleep],
138
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,853
I'll [bleep] with your [bleep],
[bleep]!
139
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:29,588
[echoing]
140
00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:32,190
(man)
and improvise.
141
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,860
Oh, it's so cold out,
and it's going to be dark soon.
142
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,728
Oh, my god.
Yeah, we should build a fire.
143
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,797
Right, yeah, um, like...
144
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,632
Oh! Fire! Fire!
145
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,200
Freeze!
146
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,604
Oh, no.
It's a black cat.
147
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:46,471
Hey, man.
148
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:49,474
Why the cat
got to be black?
149
00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:51,743
[laughter]
150
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:52,611
Freeze!
151
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,747
[dramatic music]
152
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,882
♪ ♪
153
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:59,618
Man, I guess I got to put
my dick away.
154
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:03,755
[laughter]
155
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:07,926
[suspenseful music]
156
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:16,168
♪ ♪
157
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:35,954
Like a legitimate date
158
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,355
In the definition of a date
in the dictionary,
159
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:38,690
I feel like I've been
on four dates in my whole life.
160
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:42,527
The problem with dating is,
like, if I start to date,
161
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:47,365
I'm trying to do what I think
you're supposed to do on a date.
162
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:50,135
So it's like, we're about
to see a movie, right?
163
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:50,936
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
164
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,104
And then, look,
this is how you be a sexy date.
165
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,606
You be like,
"you know what?"
166
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:55,941
- Screw it.
- Screw this.
167
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,909
Let's go take a walk
by the canal.
168
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,945
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
169
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:00,779
You almost there, you go,
170
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:03,081
"you know what?
Let's get out of here.
171
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:03,949
Let's go to my place."
172
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,551
On the way to your place, do you
throw another one in there?
173
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,552
You know what?
Screw this.
174
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:08,954
Screw this.
Let's go skip in the fountain.
175
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:11,490
- Come on. Why not?
- Pick up some chroners, or...
176
00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:12,624
And then after you get
out of the fountain?
177
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:13,992
You know what? Screw it.
Let's hit the cinema.
178
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,561
Let's go to a movie.
And then you're soaking wet.
179
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:17,796
Right. Yeah.
And, of course, you know--
180
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,898
- Watching some god-awful film.
- You see a bad film.
181
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,967
Also the fact that it's
air conditioned in there.
182
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:23,435
- Yeah.
- Give yourself a chill.
183
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:28,874
[laughter]
184
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,609
God, the moment I saw you
last night in the club,
185
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,878
Totally had
to ask you out.
186
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,646
Are you kidding me?
Like, the moment?
187
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:35,580
- Oh, yeah.
- That's so sweet.
188
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:37,482
And I was actually afraid
that you were going to be, like,
189
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:41,853
One of those high-maintenance
chicks, you know?
190
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:42,988
- What?
- Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
191
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:46,458
I don't know. Control freak or--
I don't even know.
192
00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:49,027
Oh, my god.
That's so funny.
193
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:49,628
Isn't it?
194
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,595
Is it? Is it funny?
Is it funny?
195
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:55,033
No. I'm, like, I totally
just like to be just easygoing.
196
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,101
- Yeah, yeah.
- Hi, I'm wayne.
197
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,736
- I'll be your waiter.
- It's been five minutes
198
00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:01,106
And we're just now
getting our menus?
199
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,775
Oh, I'm sorry.
200
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,143
Don't be sorry.
201
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,779
Be better.
202
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,814
Right. Okay.
I'll be better.
203
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:10,982
At your job.
204
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,918
[tense music]
205
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,020
Thank you.
206
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:19,024
So, yeah, my philosophy
is pretty much like,
207
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:19,658
Keep it chill.
208
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,526
Right, yeah, yeah.
209
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:22,627
You know what I like
about you?
210
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,529
- No, what?
- It's like you're not afraid
211
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:27,732
To be, like, brainy
and respectful.
212
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:28,733
Right.
Thanks.
213
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,168
I really like your boobs.
214
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:30,769
[chuckles]
215
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,804
I think we really
complement each other well.
216
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:33,772
We just did it
right there.
217
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:36,875
And, uh, I pretty much
go with the flow.
218
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:37,542
Right, right.
219
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:41,179
What the [bleep]
is wrong with you?
220
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,113
Excuse me?
221
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,649
Do I look like
mad max to you?
222
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:45,250
I-I'm sorry?
223
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,787
Do I look like
mel gibson with a mullet?
224
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:49,821
I...
225
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:50,956
No, not at all.
226
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,757
Does he look like
a feral child
227
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,793
With a boomerang
in his hand?
228
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:55,493
No.
229
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:58,597
Then why the [bleep]
is water a rare commodity here?
230
00:09:58,599 --> 00:09:59,564
It's--it's not.
I'm just, uh--
231
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:02,567
[fake laughing]
232
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:03,668
I'm sorry.
I'm just really slammed.
233
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:04,936
No, you'll know
when you're slammed
234
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,137
Because your nuts
will be on the table
235
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,773
And my fists will be covered
in your blood.
236
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:11,910
[dramatic music]
237
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:14,646
♪ ♪
238
00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:19,217
Um...
239
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,518
You were, uh...
240
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,622
Like, kind of harsh
to that guy.
241
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:24,923
Oh, him?
242
00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:25,657
- Yeah.
- No.
243
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:28,627
I was a hostess
at a restaurant.
244
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,762
In the industry, that's how
we talk to each other.
245
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,131
I'll show you.
Hey!
246
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,666
Uh, hey.
247
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,700
What do you see there?
248
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,235
That's your water.
249
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,770
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Down.
250
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:39,671
Down?
251
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:42,273
Down, boy.
Get on your knees.
252
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:45,010
Okay, I have other tables
that I have...
253
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,112
What does that
look like to you?
254
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,114
Yes, there's a little lipstick
on your glass.
255
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,582
- Okay.
- But it...
256
00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:51,416
Megan, it's your--it's yours--
257
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:52,317
This is what
I want you to do.
258
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:55,120
I want you to take
this glass into the back.
259
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,054
I want you to break it,
260
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:59,758
Take the biggest shard you can
find, and bring it to me.
261
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,992
I'm...
262
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,061
Then I want to slit
your gullet.
263
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:04,896
All right, I'm just--
I'll get you another water--
264
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:08,833
I'm going to slit your throat
and watch you bleed out,
265
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,001
And I'm going to shower
in your blood.
266
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,004
All right, I'll...
I'll get another water.
267
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,774
Well, that would be great.
Thank you.
268
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,842
But as I was saying, like,
269
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,745
I just feel like it's like
do unto others.
270
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,814
Megan!
271
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,749
It was your lipstick
on the glass.
272
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:28,119
[dramatic music]
273
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,688
What the hell is that?
What are you doing?
274
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,724
Wait.
Wait, no, no, no, no.
275
00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:35,760
Oh, man.
276
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:37,896
Let me just tell you,
277
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:40,699
No one's ever talked to me
like that in my life.
278
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,801
I'm just saying
that your lipstick--
279
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,737
You have his back?
280
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,639
Who does that?
281
00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:49,808
It was your lipstick
on the glass.
282
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:53,078
He's just a waiter.
283
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,079
You know what?
Take his side.
284
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:55,914
- I'm not--
- and I hope you have
285
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,650
A very happy life together.
286
00:11:58,652 --> 00:11:59,918
Megan.
287
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,854
What's going on right now?
288
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:03,855
What are you...?
289
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:06,958
[dramatic music]
290
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:11,362
♪ ♪
291
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:13,398
- Seriously, megan--
- no!
292
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,032
No.
293
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,867
Megan!
You left your jacket!
294
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:20,071
- Hey, you left your jacket!
- Hey. Hey, hey.
295
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:20,739
Don't do it.
296
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:23,742
Man, I just hurt her feelings,
and then she left her jacket.
297
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:25,343
The least I could do is
give her back her jacket.
298
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,811
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
299
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:28,213
- She [bleep] needs this jacket.
- She does not need it.
300
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,348
It's 87 degrees out.
You know she doesn't need it.
301
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:34,252
In your heart of hearts you know
she doesn't need that jacket.
302
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,820
Don't do it.
303
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,656
I think she's going
to need her jacket.
304
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:39,958
No, she's not going to need it.
She's not gonna need it.
305
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,694
Megan, you left your jacket,
though!
306
00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:45,697
♪ ♪
307
00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:46,698
Seemed like a nice guy.
308
00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:57,008
If you were a villain,
309
00:12:57,010 --> 00:13:00,745
Like, what would you do
to make your villain memorable?
310
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:02,413
I would be called the puppeteer.
311
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:05,283
- Of course you would.
- I'd be a super villain.
312
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,484
You could be
my number-one henchman.
313
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:09,154
Yeah, can I be the crackin?
Just like--I just want--
314
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,221
Because then you could say,
315
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,891
"come on, y'all,
release the crackin."
316
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,225
And then I would just be like...
[makes squeaking noise]
317
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,995
And I just come out the
side door with, like, a hood.
318
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:20,165
- Release the crackin, james.
- No, I wouldn't do that.
319
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,332
And james would be your--
your butler.
320
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,001
- Nope. I don't...
- And he'd be sitting down there
321
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:23,935
Next to you, saying--
322
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,070
James is not a good...
323
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,071
Okay, jeeves,
you could call him.
324
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,774
"hey, jeeves, go
down to the cellar
325
00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:30,842
And release the crackin."
326
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:33,111
So I'm the mastermind,
so I probably should...
327
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:37,081
Just, like, figure out
what the words are and what--
328
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:40,451
"well, I'll--I'll be.
There's the crackin."
329
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,787
My supervillain
doesn't need input.
330
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,860
[east indian music]
331
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:52,330
Okay, there is your hero
fusion burger, sir.
332
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:52,931
Thank you.
333
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,433
And, sir, if you could just wait
for one moment.
334
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,769
We are very, very busy today.
I'm so sorry.
335
00:13:57,771 --> 00:14:00,071
Another great day of business,
brother abraham.
336
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:01,472
Oh, my gosh.
Are you kidding me?
337
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,508
Look, we are
raking in the money.
338
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:04,776
Praise allah.
I know.
339
00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:06,077
I have just bought
a flat screen television.
340
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,379
- Really?
- High definition.
341
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,481
We should watch some of the
american films on the screen.
342
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:11,449
Come, come.
I have the la-z-boy.
343
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:14,886
- I have the la-z-boy sofa.
- Oh, my god, we could--
344
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:17,088
Salam alaykum.
345
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:20,225
Brother abraham,
brother osman.
346
00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:22,861
Wa-alaikum-salaam,
brother mustafa.
347
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,295
Wa-alaikum-salaam,
brother mustafa.
348
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:27,799
What are you doing here
in United States?
349
00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:30,034
- A joyous surprise.
- Yes, absolutely.
350
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:33,171
I was just
checking on your progress.
351
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:33,805
Of course.
352
00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:38,910
This is a very good front
for your sleeper cell.
353
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:39,410
[chuckles]
354
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:42,113
The americans will never
see it coming.
355
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,582
They are totally fooled,
brother mustafa.
356
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,251
They think that we are
just two immigrants
357
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:50,121
Who are in love with
the amazing amounts of money
358
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,155
That you can make
being entrepreneurs.
359
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:54,559
I mean, this food truck
is, like, just printing money.
360
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,194
It's a little crazy,
to be honest with you.
361
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:59,030
It's like a bottomless pit
of money.
362
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,531
You can just reach in,
pull it out...
363
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:03,368
Well, in reality,
brother abraham.
364
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,904
Yes, well, in reality,
we--we--we want to destroy
365
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:08,873
As many of the imperialist
infidels as possible.
366
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,909
Right.
367
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:15,914
But what
I don't understand is...
368
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:20,318
You have your target,
you have your explosives.
369
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:24,055
Why not just put the bomb
on the truck
370
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,291
And then drive it straight
into the building,
371
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:29,160
Killing as many infidels
as you can?
372
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:34,299
No.
So, the thing...Is...
373
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,301
That we are already
doing it.
374
00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:39,437
How is that possible?
375
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,572
You see,
brother mustafa,
376
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:47,578
These sandwiches
are loaded with cholesterol.
377
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:51,115
Slowly, the infidels,
they grow fat,
378
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,284
And their arteries
start to clog--
379
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,185
Stop it!
380
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:59,324
I'm beginning to doubt
your dedication to the cause.
381
00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:00,358
- No, no, no, no.
- Hey, guy?
382
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,328
(man)
can I just order
a fusion burger? I'm in a hurry.
383
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:07,332
Uh, yes...
$9 please.
384
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:11,436
Our leaders
will be very displeased.
385
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:14,973
Did you say $9 for one?
386
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:15,907
Uh, yes.
Yes.
387
00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:20,211
One dollar extra for crazy,
rockin' hummus dip.
388
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,213
How much do they cost to make?
389
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:26,150
- $1.50.
- $1.50.
390
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,485
Pretty good margins.
391
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,087
- Yes.
- Yes, yes, yes.
392
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,489
How many do you
sell a day?
393
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,057
I don't know, I don't know.
Maybe 100?
394
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:36,094
- 100?
- Yes, sometimes two.
395
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,262
On a good day,
maybe two.
396
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:40,498
What?
397
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,600
So 200 is a big day.
398
00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:45,336
But you are ignoring
your mission!
399
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,170
[dramatic music]
400
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,706
You will pay
the ultimate price!
401
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:51,209
(abraham)
no, no, no, no.
No, mustafa.
402
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,110
We are still pure.
403
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:56,147
[suspenseful music]
404
00:16:56,149 --> 00:17:02,420
♪ ♪
405
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:05,323
Okay, that sounds good.
406
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:09,660
Your order will be right up.
That'll be $9, please.
407
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,263
All right, thank you.
408
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:13,664
My friends!
409
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:16,300
You must try mustafa-kebab!
410
00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:17,268
Only $5.
411
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:21,672
And one rock and roll
baba ghanoush, $1 extra.
412
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:22,640
Come on.
413
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:23,608
No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
414
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:27,111
- Your hero fusion burger.
- You...
415
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:36,687
- No, okay. Sorry.
- Sorry.
416
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,856
I'll tell you,
we still got it, otis.
417
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,525
Oh, yeah.
Yes, we do.
418
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:42,527
- True that, walden.
- Mm-hmm.
419
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:43,728
- All right.
- We here, ain't we?
420
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,297
Oh, yeah. Hey, we hittin' it
in business right now.
421
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:50,868
[both croak loudly]
422
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,437
[both sigh]
423
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:55,573
We out here, straight
hitting the bricks, as it were.
424
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,607
Hey, hey, I'm gonna
tell you right now,
425
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:59,744
I got a pocket full of nickels,
and I'm ready to get loose.
426
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:00,545
- All right!
- [laughs]
427
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:02,814
- Okay.
- Can I, uh...
428
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:03,614
Get another round, please?
429
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:07,185
[hip-hop music playing]
430
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,286
- Here we go.
- Oh, yeah.
431
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,621
[both mumbling]
432
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,356
You guys like drake?
433
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:14,192
- Drink?
- A drink?
434
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,293
We got--we got drinks.
435
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,594
- All sorted out on the...
- We got 'em, young buck.
436
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,362
Drink front there,
tiny tim.
437
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:19,697
Drake.
438
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,532
Like drake, the rapper.
He's a musician.
439
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,267
Like, "started from the bottom,
now we here."
440
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,769
Drake.
441
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,437
Drink?
You saying "drink."
442
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:27,738
You know a musician
called drink?
443
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,373
Okay, you know what?
Never--never mind.
444
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,709
Uh, you guys are awesome.
445
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,478
♪ ♪
446
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,378
[both scoff]
447
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:35,379
- Drink.
- Awesome.
448
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:36,414
He over here talking
about drake.
449
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,382
- "you guys are awesome."
- I don't know about no drake.
450
00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:39,383
I don't know nothing
about no drake.
451
00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:40,485
I'll tell you another thing,
452
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,887
I'm trying to watch
my calorie intake.
453
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:44,222
Ain't worried
about no drink.
454
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,490
Concerned about
digesting my steak.
455
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:48,259
- Talk about drake.
- Talking about drake.
456
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,894
I'm having a hard enough time
staying awake.
457
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,329
I can't be concerning
myself with drake.
458
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:52,630
You know.
459
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,732
Poured orange juice
on my corn flakes.
460
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:55,333
Yeah.
461
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,634
He talking about drake.
Trying to talk about drake.
462
00:18:56,636 --> 00:19:01,305
I need five breaths
to blow out my birthday cake.
463
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,907
I ain't concerned
about no drake.
464
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:03,774
- Drake.
- You want to be
465
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,943
Concerned about drake,
that's on your time, brother.
466
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:08,613
Shoot, man.
Lost my teeth in a lake.
467
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,515
I'm over here
like a 1930s cartoon
468
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,650
Hitting my head
when I step on a rake.
469
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:13,651
[mimics slap]
whoo!
470
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:14,385
[mimics birds flying]
471
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:15,286
I don't know no drake.
472
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:18,923
Over here talking about drake.
You concerned about drake.
473
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,291
I'm gonna tell you
what I'm concerned about.
474
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:23,261
Making it to the john without
making a bathroom mistake.
475
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:24,295
My left eyeball
is a fake.
476
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:25,863
Sperm, my testicles
do not make.
477
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,331
I woke up this morning
and my booty hole ache.
478
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,467
- Drake. Drake.
- Drake. Drake.
479
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:30,968
I ain't give a [bleep]
about no drake.
480
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,436
You know all about drake.
481
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:34,572
[speaking gibberish]
drake.
482
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:38,676
Drake.
483
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:39,377
[scoffs]
484
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:40,945
Oh, hey, now.
Look at them.
485
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:43,681
Look at these two
old-timers over here.
486
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,249
[both chuckling]
487
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,485
Now, take it easy
on them, walden.
488
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:48,819
[both laughing]
489
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:49,687
I will, otis.
I will, brother.
490
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,288
I will.
491
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,290
[both chuckling]
492
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,458
Hey!
Hello, gentlemen.
493
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:56,861
Y'all like drake?
494
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,329
(man)
drake?
495
00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,730
Hell, yes.
496
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:00,598
"started from the bottom,
497
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,434
Now the whole team
[bleep] here."
498
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:06,470
Y'all like
tyler, the creator?
499
00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:08,906
♪ ♪
500
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:12,610
(jordan)
do you know what it means
when people say,
501
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:16,514
"man, I got my shirt
all fleek right now?"
502
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:16,981
Fleek?
503
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,849
- [scoffs]
- [laughs]
504
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:19,917
You ain't heard about that?
On fleek?
505
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,319
That's not real.
506
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,321
On fleek, man.
507
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:23,821
What?
508
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:26,724
It means just looking
to upset fresh.
509
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:27,792
- I like that.
- Mm-hmm.
510
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,694
I like that.
I'm going to start saying it.
511
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:30,895
I don't care
how stupid I look.
512
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,731
What about
"jump in full dingle?"
513
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:34,465
That's not real.
514
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,533
That's a thing.
Full dingle.
515
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:38,736
Trust me, if we go--
if we go dance somewhere
516
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:39,670
And you jump in
talking about,
517
00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,606
"I'm gonna jump in this party
full dingle,"
518
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:44,308
And you just tell everybody,
you will be the coolest person.
519
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:45,743
Jordan, is that real?
520
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,745
"on fleek" is real, though.
"on fleek" is real.
521
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:51,048
So dingle's not real?
It's not real!
522
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:51,616
[laughter]
523
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,751
Full dingle is not real!
524
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,319
It is now, though.
525
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:56,087
[laughs]
526
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,623
(keegan)
'cause this is a groundbreaking
show up in this bitch.
527
00:20:58,625 --> 00:20:59,390
[laughter]
528
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,926
(both)
♪ I'm gonna do
my one line here ♪
529
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,427
(man)
oh, yeah.
530
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:09,533
Like akembe here.
531
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:11,936
Do I run over there?
532
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,838
No.
Come on.
533
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,439
Do I run over there?
534
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,642
Be safe.
535
00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:18,776
Do I run?
536
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:19,443
Yeah.
537
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:19,476
[sighs]
37561
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof