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1
00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:04,136
[all chanting]
2
00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:05,571
Hey, hey, hey, y'all,
wait up, hold on.
3
00:00:05,573 --> 00:00:07,272
Hold on.
Listen up. Listen up.
4
00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:08,574
- Yeah.
- Come on, man.
5
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:09,775
Y'all ready for this?
6
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,176
(all)
yeah!
7
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:11,877
That's right, y'all.
8
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:14,046
'cause you know what?
We only get one chance.
9
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:16,048
[all cheering]
10
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:18,183
Let's leave it all
on the field today.
11
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,184
[all cheering]
12
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,720
No doubt.
We gon' give 'em something
13
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:22,488
They can remember.
14
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:24,390
(all)
yeah.
15
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:25,691
Yeah, let's do this.
16
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:26,325
Ah!
17
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,626
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
18
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:28,360
We unstoppable!
19
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,729
Ah.
(all) yeah!
20
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,731
But this is what
we worked for, y'all.
21
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,199
[all cheering]
22
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,703
It's time to handle
our business.
23
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,204
Oh, we're number one
up in here.
24
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,607
[all shouting]
25
00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:45,144
We the best of the best,
of the best, of the best.
26
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,245
(all)
oh!
27
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:51,050
Don't never let nobody
tell you different.
28
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:54,820
Failure is not an option.
29
00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:56,255
(all)
oh!
30
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:59,224
We gon' show 'em that
we're the best that ever was.
31
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:03,462
[all shouting]
32
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:05,264
Whoo!
33
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,366
This is our time.
34
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,368
This is our moment.
35
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:10,069
Nah.
36
00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:13,372
We can't let nobody take this
away from us.
37
00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:16,775
[all shouting]
38
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,478
We a team, y'all.
39
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,582
We got to do this together.
40
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:26,085
[grunting]
41
00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:29,154
Okay. I ain't never had
no family like this, y'all.
42
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:30,823
[grunts]
43
00:01:30,825 --> 00:01:31,490
Y'all's my family.
44
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:32,257
[grunts]
45
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,626
Y'all my brothers forever.
46
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:38,197
You know I got
your back, y'all!
47
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:39,798
And I know y'all got mine.
48
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,267
[grunting]
49
00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:44,336
(all)
whoa!
50
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:48,340
We taking this all the way
to the super bowl, y'all.
51
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,541
This is our year.
52
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:50,409
That's right.
53
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:51,810
This is our destiny.
54
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,179
[tense music]
55
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:55,180
♪ ♪
56
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:58,283
What?
57
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:02,321
[all coughing]
58
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:07,559
♪ ♪
59
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:10,729
[suspenseful music]
60
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:17,836
♪ ♪
61
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:23,542
Let's keep doing like
we been doing all season.
62
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:31,783
♪ ♪
63
00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:21,466
If we do
what we was trained to do...
64
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,202
Can't nobody stop us.
65
00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:26,371
[ominous music]
66
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:34,947
♪ ♪
67
00:03:34,949 --> 00:03:39,251
(on phone)
we can do anything
we set our minds to.
68
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:39,885
♪ ♪
69
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:40,586
[sword hits floor]
70
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:46,792
♪ ♪
71
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:48,227
[whimpering]
72
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:52,431
[timer beeping]
73
00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:56,001
[classical music]
74
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:59,371
[loud explosion]
75
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:05,978
Play this game like it's
the last game of your lives.
76
00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:09,381
♪ ♪
77
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:14,586
[haunting western music]
78
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:22,861
♪ ♪
79
00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:46,852
[whistling]
80
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,461
Hm.
81
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:02,834
You know,
let me ask you a question.
82
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,603
Sure.
83
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,071
When you fart...
84
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:06,738
Mm-hmm.
85
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:13,345
Why don't we just call that
a butt queef?
86
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,746
You know what I mean?
87
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:15,480
Instead of calling--
88
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,883
And then, you know,
the sound that comes out of...
89
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,084
- There was a--
- the vagina, why would we not--
90
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,620
- Like, a 45 minute silence.
91
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,356
And then that's
the first question?
92
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:25,090
I just wanted to know.
93
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:27,492
Where do we get
that word from?
94
00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:32,431
I mean, how's that
gotten past everybody?
95
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:33,832
Okay.
96
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,902
This is beyond the pale, sir.
97
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:39,471
[haunting western music]
98
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:42,908
[speaking indistinctly]
99
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:46,345
[militaristic music]
100
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:54,386
♪ ♪
101
00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:58,490
- Hillary.
- Mr. President.
102
00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,392
It's always good to see you.
103
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:03,628
I pretended to like you
for seven years.
104
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:06,665
You remember my anger
translator, luther.
105
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:07,666
Good to see you,
too, mr. President.
106
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:10,869
My hatred for you
is a pure force of nature
107
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,939
That is gonna move me
onward to my destiny.
108
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:16,608
And this is my anger translator,
savannah.
109
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,677
I trust you've been busy.
110
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:21,546
Bet your arms are tired
from stabbing me in the back
111
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:22,247
On the campaign trail.
112
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:24,783
Saying you don't like
my foreign policy?
113
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:25,684
What the [bleep], woman?
114
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:27,686
You wrote the damn policy!
115
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:28,153
[bleep].
116
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,489
Well, you know how it is
to campaign for president.
117
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:32,624
You know how
this [bleep] works.
118
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:35,060
You do whatever you got to do
to get your ass elected.
119
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:40,766
And right now, you are the dead
skunk I got to step over.
120
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,968
Should be smooth sailing
to the nominations.
121
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,604
Even you couldn't [bleep] it up
against these assholes.
122
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:49,174
Well, it's too early to say,
of course.
123
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:50,442
I got this job locked down.
124
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:52,577
Unless something terrible
happens,
125
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,479
Like you campaigning for me.
126
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:55,747
Oh, that's b--mm.
127
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,716
Oh, I got a feeling
that come 2016,
128
00:06:57,718 --> 00:07:00,185
You and bill will be back
in the white house.
129
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:01,653
Yeah, and you're gonna
be busy as [bleep]
130
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:05,490
Doing all the work 'cause I know
you're gonna fire them interns.
131
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:07,025
What?
[imitates explosion]
132
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:10,195
Well, I appreciate having you
as an ally, of course.
133
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:13,465
Eight years ago
I had a lock on this job,
134
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:14,633
Until you showed up
out of nowhere.
135
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,601
- Mm.
- And you stole it from me
136
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,637
When you knew damn well
it was my turn.
137
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,472
You think I ate all that
[bleep], standing there smiling
138
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,574
Next to my pussy-hound husband,
139
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:26,478
So I could turn around
and become secretary of state?
140
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,847
Guess again, mother[bleep].
141
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,015
You got my job
and I'm gonna get it back.
142
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:34,886
And it's not gonna be easy
because you screwed the pooch
143
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,154
Six ways to Sunday.
144
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:39,624
Folks just a soon vote
for a skinned possum
145
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,093
As a democrat.
146
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,061
But that's okay.
147
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:43,929
'cause I'm gon' do it.
148
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:46,031
I'm gonna win
this [bleep] election.
149
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,533
And I am gonna bury you
and every goddamn man
150
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:49,768
Who ever stood in my way.
151
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:53,905
- Savannah, take it down a bit.
- And 2016 is gonna--
152
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:54,773
What is wrong with you, girl?
153
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:57,175
You are embarrassing
the future president
154
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,043
Of the United States of america.
155
00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:01,713
Have a little class.
156
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:04,649
It's always good to speak
with you, hillary.
157
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,818
You a nasty-ass bitch.
158
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,687
Nice to talk to you, barack.
159
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,056
[bleep] you, dream-stealer.
160
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:18,497
Damn, some people's
just too angry.
161
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,802
[haunting western music]
162
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:27,939
I was on the train one time
and there was a dude.
163
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,741
He was drunk.
164
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,543
And my man was...
165
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,744
Man, put your arm here.
166
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,213
He's, like, like this
next to me.
167
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:35,947
My man was like this.
168
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,382
- My man was going...
- What?
169
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:40,185
- Eww!
- [laughs]
170
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:40,819
Eww!
171
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,654
And eventually, I was like,
"hey, man!"
172
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:44,222
No.
Talking about "eventually."
173
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,590
No, you know me. Like,
that's--that's hard for me.
174
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:46,925
- "hey, man!"
- "hey, man!"
175
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,226
And he was like,
"rah, rah, rah."
176
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:50,262
You've been tiddling my arm
for the last half hour.
177
00:08:50,264 --> 00:08:51,897
Quit tiddling, man.
178
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,365
- Quit tiddling already.
- Ain't nobody asked you.
179
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,367
20 minutes is one thing,
but half hour?
180
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:56,501
I'ma give you--
I'ma give you--hey--
181
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:57,536
I'ma give you 20 minutes
to stop that.
182
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:58,303
20 minutes max.
183
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,372
That was really creepy.
184
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:04,543
[haunting western music]
185
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:12,284
[low music in headphones]
186
00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:16,988
♪ ♪
187
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,924
Yo.
188
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:20,926
Hey, yo.
189
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,428
Hey, yo.
190
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:24,529
Yo, yo.
191
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:26,798
Excuse--excuse me?
192
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,368
Oh man, oh man, oh man.
193
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,102
I'll tell you one thing,
194
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:35,941
If 9/11st were to happen up
on this here plane,
195
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,276
Psht, don't worry.
196
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,245
We got this.
197
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:40,679
Oh.
198
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:44,316
Okay, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
199
00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:47,852
He said that if them terries
is gonna try something
200
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:52,324
Up in here today, like
the bounce, boogie, and bump,
201
00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:57,362
That we got this [bleep]
on lock.
202
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:58,797
Terr--do you mean terrorists?
203
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,266
- Oh yeah.
- Hells yeah, baby.
204
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,001
He ain't talking
about teri garr.
205
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:06,705
And I certainly ain't talking
about no terry cloth.
206
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,840
I mean, if a terry up
on this plane,
207
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:11,710
Even thinking about trying
to do something,
208
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:15,313
We gon' draxx him up.
209
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,715
You're gonna--
you're gonna what?
210
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:21,586
We're gonna
draxx him sklounst.
211
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:24,389
I think what my partner's
trying to say
212
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,725
Is if any terries
come up in here,
213
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:29,527
- We gon' get our berger on.
- Yeah.
214
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,864
Did something happen,
or did I miss something?
215
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,332
Is this hypothetical, or...
216
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,868
Oh, we're gon' definitely
drop some hypotheticals
217
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:40,472
On that terry's clavicle,
'cause I'm talking 'bout...
218
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:41,840
[imitates neck breaking]
219
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:45,510
[both imitating blood spurting]
220
00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:50,015
Don't you just wish though?
221
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,584
Don't you just wish
in your heart of hearts...
222
00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:53,151
Yeah. Yeah.
223
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:57,022
Some terry would come up
in here, trying some grab-ass,
224
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:57,989
And the touchy-feely?
225
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:02,093
That's the opposite of what I
want to have happen on a plane.
226
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:05,063
Okay. That's unfortunate.
227
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,464
Conference.
228
00:11:09,368 --> 00:11:10,502
This was unexpected.
229
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:11,770
It certainly was.
230
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:15,640
I'm thrown right now as
to who's gonna be our comrade.
231
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:16,541
I can still hear you.
232
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:17,676
He doesn't have the heart,
nor the gumption.
233
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,377
You're literally right next
to me, so...
234
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:22,614
On three, break.
235
00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:23,848
Three.
236
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,585
Yoo-hoo.
237
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:31,656
I got an idea,
feel free to say no,
238
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:33,091
But can we switch seats?
239
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:36,795
I will not take no
for an answer.
240
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:37,362
Why?
241
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:42,100
That's the combat seat,
jonathan livingston seagull.
242
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,402
If you gon' be
in the combat seat
243
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:48,940
Then you gots to be willing
to blast up on some terries.
244
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:50,675
Because with great power
245
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:53,578
Come great responsitrillitrust.
246
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:56,781
Okay. I just--
I just wanted some leg room.
247
00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:57,549
Um...
248
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,784
Okay, max legroom.
249
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:00,785
You get yours.
250
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:04,422
Meanwhile, I'm gon' go
hayden pantinerry
251
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,825
On some terries.
252
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,461
Especially when they get froggy.
253
00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:11,463
Ribbit, ribbit.
254
00:12:11,465 --> 00:12:13,498
- Yeah.
- Um...
255
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,568
You gon' have to be ready
to kidnap a terry.
256
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:18,703
- I don't--
- you gon' have to be ready
257
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:19,671
To torture a terry.
258
00:12:19,673 --> 00:12:20,672
I don't think
that's necessary.
259
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:25,110
Absolutely, you have to
fireboard those motherjammers.
260
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:28,847
I don't even understand
what that means.
261
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,048
Do you trust me?
262
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,082
No.
263
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,017
I'll take that as a yes.
264
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:34,052
Okay.
265
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:34,586
Trust.
266
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:38,490
These terries come up in here
trying to act froggy...
267
00:12:38,492 --> 00:12:39,858
Whoo!
268
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:43,128
Then we gon' give them
the rainbow connection.
269
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,597
Here, froggy, froggy,
froggy, froggy.
270
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,464
Is that a box cutter?
271
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:50,168
Oh, you best believe it, baby.
272
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:55,140
We gon' be eatin'
like diane keaton.
273
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:57,142
2.36 inches, baby.
274
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,810
Shifax.
275
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:01,112
Perfectly leg-well.
276
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,881
And if those don't work,
277
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:06,017
You know I'm working up
that plan b, brother.
278
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:07,652
[suspenseful music]
279
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:08,720
You have a gun?
280
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:11,122
Oh, yeah.
3-d printer, baby.
281
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,624
100% polyurethane.
282
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:17,162
They can't detect
these mamajamas.
283
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,062
They have a--
they have a weap--
284
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:19,164
They have--
they--
285
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,231
They have a weapon!
They have a weapon!
286
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,533
- Oh, god!
- These guys got a weapon.
287
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:22,901
- Who got a weapon?
- Where you at terry?
288
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,669
Everybody relax.
We takin' control of this plane.
289
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,871
No, wait a minute,
I'm not with them.
290
00:13:26,873 --> 00:13:27,739
[all shouting]
291
00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:31,042
The guy on the right
is the ringleader.
292
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:31,676
Ow!
293
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,511
I don't know them.
I don't know them.
294
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:34,646
I don't know those guys.
295
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:35,647
I'm on vacation.
296
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:39,617
[whimsical music]
297
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:47,559
♪ ♪
298
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,093
Draxx.
299
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:50,528
Them.
300
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,629
Sklounst.
301
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,601
[haunting western music]
302
00:13:57,469 --> 00:14:01,172
I think of myself
as a male feminist.
303
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,207
- Do you now?
- Okay?
304
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:03,474
- Mm-hmm.
- But does--so--
305
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,009
But does that mean,
like, if a girl comes over
306
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,645
And she's just, boom!
307
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,547
She just got like, poof, poof.
308
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:13,518
Looking like she's hiding a
couple of aardvarks back there.
309
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,653
I'm not supposed to look?
310
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:16,254
Aardvarks?
311
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:19,123
You know, just, pow, pow pow!
312
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:19,791
No, wait a second.
313
00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:21,125
Looking like she's
dealing some sauce.
314
00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:22,994
I'm just trying
to get over "aardvarks."
315
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,996
Well,
what is the sexiest animal
316
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,698
That you would compare
to female anatomy?
317
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:27,532
I would just a completely,
318
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,968
A completely different object
in the world.
319
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:32,136
Not even an animal.
Just, like, two--
320
00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:33,104
Two grapefruits.
321
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,240
Two grapefruit--dude, what you
talking 'bout grapefruits?
322
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,407
You know, listen,
we're doing it.
323
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:39,010
We're objectifying women
right now as we're doing it.
324
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:42,647
- Are we?
- Oh, my god.
325
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:45,116
[haunting western music]
326
00:14:46,151 --> 00:14:50,154
[sea shanty music]
327
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:51,556
♪ ♪
328
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,124
♪ I once met a lass so fine ♪
329
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:56,261
♪ she was drunk on barley wine ♪
330
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,162
♪ I'd been to sea
for months a'three ♪
331
00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:01,099
♪ I knew I could make her mine ♪
332
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:03,101
♪ and the lass
was past consent ♪
333
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:06,304
♪ so it was off
with her we went ♪
334
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,373
♪ and we threw her in bed
and rested her head ♪
335
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:13,211
♪ and we left 'cause
that's what gentlemen do ♪
336
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:17,482
(all)
♪ a woman has a right
to a drink or two ♪
337
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:21,252
♪ without worrying
about what you will do ♪
338
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:25,189
♪ we say "yo ho!"
but we don't say "ho" ♪
339
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:29,627
♪ 'cause "ho"
is disrespectful, yo ♪
340
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,062
♪ ♪
341
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:33,131
♪ there once was a girl
from leeds ♪
342
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,199
♪ who I heard was good
on her knees ♪
343
00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:37,435
♪ so I docked my ship
for an overnight trip ♪
344
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,804
♪ to take care of all my needs ♪
345
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:42,106
♪ she was fine
as the tales did tell ♪
346
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,741
♪ and my mast began to swell ♪
347
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:46,311
♪ so I laid her down
and raised her gown ♪
348
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:49,714
♪ and performed cunnilingus
for an hour or so ♪
349
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,318
(all)
♪ always take care
of your lady fair ♪
350
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,822
♪ 'cause they deserve as much
attention down there ♪
351
00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:01,759
♪ we say "yo ho!"
but we don't say "ho" ♪
352
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:05,797
♪ 'cause "ho"
is disrespectful, yo ♪
353
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:08,066
♪ ♪
354
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,500
♪ I once had a woman so fair ♪
355
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,536
♪ whose womb contained my heir ♪
356
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,271
♪ with a son by my side,
the seas we'd ride ♪
357
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,239
♪ the child she would bear ♪
358
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:17,842
♪ but my girl,
she was no fool ♪
359
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,577
♪ she was working her way
through school ♪
360
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,646
♪ so I did support
when she chose to abort ♪
361
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:25,650
♪ 'cause it's her body
and, therefore, her choice ♪
362
00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:29,220
(all)
♪ no, we don't say "booty" ♪
363
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,089
♪ unless we're talking
'bout gold ♪
364
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:34,258
♪ we don't look at chests
unless there treasure holds ♪
365
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,260
♪ with a hat,
and a feather ♪
366
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:38,396
♪ and a cutlass on our hip ♪
367
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:39,397
♪ we don't ever say "she" ♪
368
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:42,266
♪ when we're talkin'
about our ship ♪
369
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:45,503
♪ we don't say "bitch"
and we don't say "whore" ♪
370
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:51,609
♪ 'cause that language leads
to things like body dysmorphia ♪
371
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,411
♪ there was a lady
with a golden eye ♪
372
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,445
♪ and the doctor
said she would die ♪
373
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:57,815
♪ so she emptied her purse
to lift the curse ♪
374
00:16:57,817 --> 00:16:59,550
♪ and prayed to stay alive ♪
375
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:01,586
♪ she awoke the very next day ♪
376
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,421
♪ and in her grave she lay ♪
377
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:06,124
♪ but the scariest part
of the story from the start ♪
378
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,192
♪ is I bet you assumed
the doctor was a man ♪
379
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:11,729
[all gasping]
380
00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:19,270
(all)
♪ women are doctors, too ♪
381
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:23,141
♪ and for a fraction
of doubloons ♪
382
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:26,677
♪ we say "yo ho!"
but we don't say "ho" ♪
383
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:32,550
♪ 'cause "ho"
is disrespectful, yo ♪
384
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,452
♪ there was a slut
with tits to here ♪
385
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:38,656
♪ and an ass like-- ♪
[gunshot]
386
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:41,759
[dramatic music]
387
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:49,233
♪ ♪
388
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:11,355
♪ 'cause it's "yo ho!"
but we don't say "ho" ♪
389
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,291
(all)
♪ 'cause "ho" is ♪
390
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:19,964
♪ disrespectful, yo ♪
391
00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:23,334
[all cheering]
392
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:30,675
[haunting western music]
393
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:33,144
[suspenseful music]
394
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:39,283
♪ ♪
395
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:43,421
This is 288, I'm investigating
the report of a disturbance.
396
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,323
(over radio)
roger that, 288.
397
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:53,564
♪ ♪
398
00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:00,138
Freeze!
399
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,144
Because I got a popsicle,
you think--
400
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,345
Gun!
401
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:12,083
[heroic music]
402
00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:15,086
♪ ♪
403
00:19:15,088 --> 00:19:19,390
[suspenseful music]
404
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:21,259
Oh, rats.
405
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,060
(both)
whoa.
406
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:24,729
Watch out!
That black guy's got a gun
407
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,130
And he's gonna steal
your banana!
408
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:28,065
(both)
what?
409
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:31,369
[shouting]
410
00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:34,205
[heroic music]
411
00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:35,606
Go. Go.
Go, go, go, go, go, go,
412
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:36,307
Go, go go, go, go, go.
413
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,476
Come on.
414
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,478
Sir!
415
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,346
You're gonna have
to leave the area.
416
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,247
There's been a disturbance.
417
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:45,550
Go.
For your safety, sir.
418
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:48,352
Go now.
Please.
419
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:51,556
Okay. Go, go, go.
Get going.
420
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:52,490
[shouts]
421
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,759
Big fuzzy gun!
422
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:57,728
[shouting]
423
00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:01,065
[dramatic music]
424
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:07,104
♪ ♪
425
00:20:12,644 --> 00:20:15,079
I mean, it was like,
it was like, you know, a holiday
426
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,447
For people having guns.
427
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:17,615
God damn it!
428
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:18,849
Mayor's on a warpath.
429
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:21,118
Who's responsible for this mess?
430
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:24,655
I'm sorry, chief.
It was me.
431
00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:25,656
Gun!
432
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:28,159
[shouting]
433
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:34,665
God damn it!
434
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:35,766
Coffee cup.
435
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:37,268
My bad.
436
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:41,372
Anyway, the last seven
came out of nowhere.
437
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:43,307
[haunting western music]
438
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:46,444
If you need to pee,
let me pull over
439
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:47,845
And you can pee
in this enormous sandbox.
440
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,747
No, no. I'm good.
I just don't want you to stop.
441
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:50,881
Let's go,
we're almost there.
442
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,416
Look--look
where you're aiming.
443
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:53,718
You haven't seen--oops!
444
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,354
No--"oops"? What? What's the
oops? What was the oop?
445
00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:59,123
♪ I'm gonna do
my one line here ♪
446
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,191
Oh, yeah.
447
00:21:04,529 --> 00:21:06,764
And if them terries
come up in here,
448
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:10,701
We would stwack it
and quack it.
449
00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:12,903
[laughter]
450
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:14,472
Okay.
451
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:16,607
I feel like y'all
are very excited.
452
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:16,640
- Yeah.
- Um, I act--
31059
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