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All language subtitles for Key and Peele S04E08 Terrible Henchman 1080p WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-BTN.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,633 --> 00:00:04,328 (URINAL FLUSHING) 2 00:00:04,935 --> 00:00:06,527 (PANTING) 3 00:00:09,773 --> 00:00:10,762 Oh. 4 00:00:12,476 --> 00:00:13,500 Oh. 5 00:00:14,578 --> 00:00:17,206 Hoo, mama. 6 00:00:19,350 --> 00:00:20,874 Oh, yeah. 7 00:00:21,218 --> 00:00:24,153 There it is. There it is. There we go. 8 00:00:25,055 --> 00:00:26,682 Oh, man. 9 00:00:28,258 --> 00:00:31,625 (GROANING) 10 00:00:31,695 --> 00:00:35,426 (CRYING) 11 00:00:35,499 --> 00:00:38,627 (SOBBING) 12 00:00:38,702 --> 00:00:43,298 (CONTINUES SOBBING) 13 00:00:44,742 --> 00:00:47,836 Why? 14 00:00:47,911 --> 00:00:53,110 (SOBBING) 15 00:00:53,884 --> 00:00:56,045 Whoo! 16 00:00:58,589 --> 00:00:59,681 Okay. 17 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,350 Let's start peeing. 18 00:01:02,026 --> 00:01:03,015 (ZIPPER OPENS) 19 00:01:03,093 --> 00:01:04,492 (URINE RUSHING FORCEFULLY) 20 00:01:04,561 --> 00:01:05,653 (ZIPPER CLOSES) There we go. 21 00:01:05,729 --> 00:01:07,492 (URINAL FLUSHES) 22 00:01:08,799 --> 00:01:09,788 (DOOR CLOSES) 23 00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:12,190 What the f... 24 00:01:14,872 --> 00:01:16,464 Crazy crazy 25 00:01:16,874 --> 00:01:18,671 Does is crazy 26 00:01:19,443 --> 00:01:21,638 Make up for adjustment 27 00:01:22,780 --> 00:01:25,715 You jammin' on the verse 28 00:01:26,684 --> 00:01:30,484 First one's planned that you want to do 29 00:01:30,688 --> 00:01:32,212 All I want 30 00:01:32,723 --> 00:01:36,090 But I don't need you 31 00:01:38,328 --> 00:01:41,161 KEY: You know, like, in a spy movie or, like, a James Bond movie, 32 00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:43,358 there will always be, like, a colorful henchman. 33 00:01:43,434 --> 00:01:47,370 That guy is 99% of the time more feminine than the lead. 34 00:01:47,438 --> 00:01:48,632 Than the... Yes, exactly. 35 00:01:48,706 --> 00:01:50,674 Gay people are evil is what they're trying to say. 36 00:01:50,741 --> 00:01:52,231 Gay people is evil. That's what they're trying to say. 37 00:01:52,309 --> 00:01:54,038 - That's what's going on. - We know what you're doing. 38 00:01:54,111 --> 00:01:57,877 These dudes is putting (DEEP VOICE) The alpha bad-ass type in the lead 39 00:01:57,948 --> 00:01:59,882 'cause that's what pure goodness is. 40 00:01:59,950 --> 00:02:00,939 Right, right. 41 00:02:01,018 --> 00:02:02,076 And then the fop. 42 00:02:02,886 --> 00:02:04,717 Well, the fop is trying to kill the president. 43 00:02:04,788 --> 00:02:06,221 I'm a dangerous fop. 44 00:02:06,290 --> 00:02:07,621 Talking about Clear and Present Danger. 45 00:02:08,058 --> 00:02:09,582 Talking about In The Line of Fire, right? 46 00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:11,287 - Oh, man. - Plip. 47 00:02:11,395 --> 00:02:13,420 Wait a minute. What did I just pound out? What movie? 48 00:02:13,664 --> 00:02:15,632 - In The Line of Fire. - In The Line of Fire. 49 00:02:16,133 --> 00:02:17,930 - Yeah, man. - What did I say? Clear and Present Danger? 50 00:02:18,001 --> 00:02:20,128 - (MUMBLING) - In The Line of Fire. 51 00:02:20,204 --> 00:02:22,195 Different political sentence title. 52 00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:23,569 That's the one. 53 00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:25,164 (LAUGHING) Yeah, right. 54 00:02:28,112 --> 00:02:29,238 Well, well, well. 55 00:02:30,114 --> 00:02:31,741 Jack, welcome. 56 00:02:32,216 --> 00:02:33,615 Make yourself comfortable. 57 00:02:34,118 --> 00:02:36,018 You're going to be here for quite some time. 58 00:02:36,854 --> 00:02:38,219 You'll never get away with this, Dravic. 59 00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:39,277 (SPITS) 60 00:02:39,957 --> 00:02:41,219 That is all, Daquan. 61 00:02:42,326 --> 00:02:43,418 Leave us. 62 00:02:51,034 --> 00:02:54,299 (DOOR CREAKING) 63 00:02:54,705 --> 00:02:56,172 Now, where were we? 64 00:02:57,241 --> 00:02:58,765 You're wasting your time, Dravic. 65 00:02:59,176 --> 00:03:00,507 The military codes were destroyed. 66 00:03:01,211 --> 00:03:02,200 Is that so? 67 00:03:03,614 --> 00:03:05,206 I think you're bluffing, Jack, 68 00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:07,840 and I am about to call... 69 00:03:07,918 --> 00:03:10,216 (DOOR CREAKING) 70 00:03:12,489 --> 00:03:15,185 (DOOR CREAKING) 71 00:03:15,259 --> 00:03:16,248 Your bluff. 72 00:03:16,426 --> 00:03:19,452 You see, Jack, I am a player in this game. 73 00:03:20,531 --> 00:03:23,659 But (CHUCKLES) I'm also the dealer. 74 00:03:23,967 --> 00:03:26,197 I hold all of the cards. 75 00:03:33,443 --> 00:03:35,274 (SIGHS AND CLEARS THROAT) 76 00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:36,334 (CHUCKLES) 77 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,448 You see, Jack, if I were to go all-in, 78 00:03:39,316 --> 00:03:41,147 you would not be able to cover the bet. 79 00:03:41,518 --> 00:03:45,750 (DOOR CREAKING) 80 00:03:48,992 --> 00:03:50,584 What are you doing? 81 00:03:52,729 --> 00:03:54,560 I was thinking, like, 82 00:03:55,599 --> 00:03:56,657 maybe I could be, like, 83 00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,567 your torturing assistant or something? 84 00:03:59,403 --> 00:04:00,495 (SIGHS) 85 00:04:00,571 --> 00:04:01,936 I could be in the room with you 86 00:04:02,005 --> 00:04:03,700 and be that guy that stands in the background 87 00:04:03,774 --> 00:04:05,071 all intimidating-like. 88 00:04:06,276 --> 00:04:07,766 - And that way... - Fine, fine. 89 00:04:08,212 --> 00:04:10,112 Over there, and keep your trap shut. 90 00:04:10,247 --> 00:04:12,147 Yeah, that's what I... That's what I was thinking. 91 00:04:17,321 --> 00:04:18,310 (CHUCKLES) 92 00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:20,185 Are you two done with your little ladies' chat? 93 00:04:20,591 --> 00:04:22,889 Oh! Shouldn't have said that. 94 00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:29,558 You know, Jack, it's very apropos that you would say that, 95 00:04:30,634 --> 00:04:33,501 because I feel like we should have a chat. 96 00:04:33,837 --> 00:04:37,898 And when I say "we," I mean just you and me. 97 00:04:42,446 --> 00:04:44,141 Are you a chess player, Jack? 98 00:04:44,314 --> 00:04:45,303 Sure. 99 00:04:46,083 --> 00:04:47,072 So then you are aware that 100 00:04:47,985 --> 00:04:51,352 each piece serves a different function. 101 00:04:51,488 --> 00:04:52,477 (PLASTIC CRINKLING) 102 00:04:52,556 --> 00:04:53,545 You see, 103 00:04:59,029 --> 00:05:00,621 whereas you are merely a pawn, 104 00:05:01,498 --> 00:05:02,795 you see, Jack, I am a queen. 105 00:05:02,866 --> 00:05:04,527 (PLASTIC CRINKLING) 106 00:05:07,571 --> 00:05:10,369 I am allowed to move around the board with impunity. 107 00:05:10,841 --> 00:05:13,537 (PLASTIC CRINKLING) 108 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:15,009 What is with the lollipop? 109 00:05:15,078 --> 00:05:19,208 Yo, man, I was thinking, like, maybe during your chess speech, 110 00:05:19,483 --> 00:05:20,848 you could suck on this lollipop, 111 00:05:20,918 --> 00:05:22,283 'cause then that shows him, like, 112 00:05:22,819 --> 00:05:23,979 you so comfortable with torture, 113 00:05:24,054 --> 00:05:26,648 you just do something stupid like sucking on a lollipop. 114 00:05:27,224 --> 00:05:28,213 You see what I'm saying? 115 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,193 (THUDDING) 116 00:05:31,695 --> 00:05:33,356 I need you to go over there right now. 117 00:05:33,864 --> 00:05:34,922 I need you to be still. 118 00:05:35,632 --> 00:05:36,621 Okay? 119 00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:38,657 - Or... - No. 120 00:05:38,735 --> 00:05:41,795 There is absolutely no "or" involved. 121 00:05:42,306 --> 00:05:43,432 - Go over there. - Okay. 122 00:05:46,777 --> 00:05:48,039 You shouldn't call yourself a queen, though, 123 00:05:48,245 --> 00:05:50,372 'cause where I'm from, that means something different than what... 124 00:05:50,714 --> 00:05:51,703 Shh. 125 00:05:52,449 --> 00:05:54,383 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 126 00:05:55,852 --> 00:05:56,841 Jack. 127 00:05:58,655 --> 00:06:00,418 I've been waiting for this moment 128 00:06:01,425 --> 00:06:04,622 for a very, very long time. 129 00:06:05,295 --> 00:06:07,229 I wanted to make an introduction 130 00:06:08,365 --> 00:06:10,196 to your new best friend. 131 00:06:10,567 --> 00:06:11,727 (LAUGHS) 132 00:06:12,669 --> 00:06:13,761 I'll never talk. 133 00:06:13,837 --> 00:06:16,397 Oh, this will make you talk, Jack. 134 00:06:19,409 --> 00:06:21,775 Plus, you don't even need to stab him at first. 135 00:06:21,845 --> 00:06:24,370 You could just, like, caress his cheek with the blade, 136 00:06:24,481 --> 00:06:26,915 something just real, like, crazy. 137 00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:28,540 Yeah, I got it. I got it. 138 00:06:28,618 --> 00:06:29,642 Yeah, you good. 139 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,210 That's what I was planning on doing. 140 00:06:31,288 --> 00:06:33,085 I'm sorry. Where did we find you? 141 00:06:33,223 --> 00:06:34,281 Shaquan's cousin. 142 00:06:34,891 --> 00:06:35,915 Who is Shaquan? 143 00:06:35,993 --> 00:06:36,982 Shaquan. 144 00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:38,994 No, no. I'm asking you who he is. 145 00:06:39,062 --> 00:06:41,860 He got kicked into some lava, so that's when I came in. 146 00:06:41,999 --> 00:06:43,330 Okay. That's wonderful. 147 00:06:44,468 --> 00:06:45,730 I need you to go over there, 148 00:06:46,703 --> 00:06:48,967 and I need you to be stock-still, 149 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:50,966 like a statue. 150 00:06:52,876 --> 00:06:53,900 Ah, yeah, yeah. 151 00:06:53,977 --> 00:06:56,571 Now. Like, you need to keep moving in that direction. 152 00:06:56,646 --> 00:06:57,670 No. Yeah, I'm good. 153 00:06:58,749 --> 00:07:00,148 (SIGHS) Jack. 154 00:07:01,451 --> 00:07:06,411 The military codes are not even the primary reason why you are here. 155 00:07:06,790 --> 00:07:09,816 I wanted you all to myself. 156 00:07:10,093 --> 00:07:13,085 He's standing back there like an actual statue, isn't he? 157 00:07:13,630 --> 00:07:14,688 Yeah, it's weird. 158 00:07:15,332 --> 00:07:16,822 Goddamn him. 159 00:07:18,402 --> 00:07:21,064 Daquan, you don't have to stand like an actual statue. 160 00:07:21,138 --> 00:07:22,765 Not literally. I didn't mean it literally. 161 00:07:22,839 --> 00:07:26,900 Oh, all right. I thought that sounded stupid when you said that originally. So, I was like... 162 00:07:26,977 --> 00:07:30,572 Yeah, it would be stupid for a person to do something like that. 163 00:07:30,647 --> 00:07:33,707 Shoot, 'cause I didn't know. I was like, "What? That doesn't make"... 164 00:07:34,484 --> 00:07:35,473 Okay. 165 00:07:37,387 --> 00:07:38,376 Jack. 166 00:07:40,223 --> 00:07:44,990 Today you will experience the most exquisite pain. 167 00:07:45,295 --> 00:07:47,388 - I may or may not give... - DAQUAN: Oh! 168 00:07:47,564 --> 00:07:50,397 Yo! We got pictures of his girlfriend. 169 00:07:50,467 --> 00:07:51,695 - Uh-huh. - That's it. 170 00:07:51,768 --> 00:07:52,792 That's pretty much torture over right there. 171 00:07:53,036 --> 00:07:56,870 You could just show him pictures of his girlfriend, and he'll do whatever you say. 172 00:07:57,174 --> 00:07:58,607 There it is. Oh! 173 00:07:58,675 --> 00:08:00,905 You know what? Even better. We got a cage. 174 00:08:00,977 --> 00:08:03,571 It's got a hole at the bottom, so you could put that over his head. 175 00:08:03,780 --> 00:08:05,680 And this other hole, you could put, like, 176 00:08:05,882 --> 00:08:08,043 a rat or a scorpion up in there. 177 00:08:08,118 --> 00:08:10,245 That's what it's there for, Daquan, all right? 178 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,788 That is what it is there for in the first place. 179 00:08:12,856 --> 00:08:15,256 All of the implements that you're seeing on the table there 180 00:08:15,325 --> 00:08:17,350 are there for a particular reason! 181 00:08:21,164 --> 00:08:22,153 What about that? 182 00:08:22,232 --> 00:08:23,995 Oh! You know what? 183 00:08:25,068 --> 00:08:27,332 Daquan, would you like to be involved? 184 00:08:27,737 --> 00:08:30,433 That's what I was thinking since the beginning. 185 00:08:34,144 --> 00:08:35,202 I was thinking... 186 00:08:36,113 --> 00:08:39,082 Maybe you should just tell him, like, the military codes. 187 00:08:48,024 --> 00:08:51,118 I smoked weed, like, you know, five times in my whole life. 188 00:08:51,194 --> 00:08:52,786 - Uh-huh. - And one time, man, 189 00:08:53,430 --> 00:08:56,160 I don't know if it was good weed or if there was something in the weed, 190 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,465 but I was just, like, 191 00:08:59,169 --> 00:09:01,069 everything I saw was like colorforms. 192 00:09:01,138 --> 00:09:02,264 - Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm. - And there was this one girl 193 00:09:02,339 --> 00:09:04,204 who I went to school with, she just looked, like, 194 00:09:04,274 --> 00:09:06,003 her face was, like, straight craggy, 195 00:09:06,376 --> 00:09:07,843 like a cartoon you might see. 196 00:09:07,911 --> 00:09:08,900 In real life or? 197 00:09:09,246 --> 00:09:11,111 A little in real life, but then it was super... 198 00:09:11,181 --> 00:09:12,978 - It accentuated. Yeah. - It got accentuated. 199 00:09:13,049 --> 00:09:16,018 And I was just "stwiped" out for, like, 48 hours. 200 00:09:16,253 --> 00:09:17,880 And I had to go to the pet store the next day 201 00:09:17,954 --> 00:09:18,943 and just hang out, look at some fish. 202 00:09:19,055 --> 00:09:20,454 (LAUGHS) 203 00:09:20,557 --> 00:09:22,218 'Cause I was, I was jacked out. 204 00:09:22,325 --> 00:09:23,417 Yeah, you did. 205 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,994 And then I got super sad, and then I threw up in my beard. 206 00:09:26,062 --> 00:09:29,190 - (LAUGHING) - And then I was like, "This is not good." 207 00:09:29,266 --> 00:09:30,494 (LAUGHING) You had a beard! 208 00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:35,004 I had a big-ass, big James Harden beard. 209 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,467 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 210 00:09:38,542 --> 00:09:39,531 (CHATTERING) 211 00:09:40,610 --> 00:09:42,100 Okay, students, settle down. 212 00:09:42,812 --> 00:09:43,938 Settle down. 213 00:09:44,581 --> 00:09:45,946 That includes you, Mr. Rodriguez. 214 00:09:46,216 --> 00:09:47,979 Do you want to take the milk carton off of your head? 215 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,514 Thank you so much. 216 00:09:52,189 --> 00:09:53,781 We have a special guest today. 217 00:09:55,058 --> 00:09:56,320 He's from this neighborhood, 218 00:09:57,327 --> 00:09:59,022 and he's a former gang member, 219 00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:01,629 and he's coming here this morning 220 00:10:02,632 --> 00:10:04,691 to talk to you about life choices. 221 00:10:05,569 --> 00:10:08,367 So, please, give a warm central high school welcome 222 00:10:08,605 --> 00:10:10,232 to Donnie Herrera. 223 00:10:10,607 --> 00:10:14,008 (APPLAUSE) 224 00:10:22,419 --> 00:10:23,681 I used to be just like you... 225 00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:25,721 (SAD PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) 226 00:10:26,823 --> 00:10:28,188 Just like you, you, you, you. 227 00:10:29,526 --> 00:10:30,993 Used to clown around. 228 00:10:32,662 --> 00:10:34,152 Make fun of the principal. 229 00:10:35,966 --> 00:10:38,935 Put milk on my head just like you, Rodriguez. 230 00:10:39,569 --> 00:10:40,558 (GIGGLING) 231 00:10:41,805 --> 00:10:42,794 And then, 232 00:10:44,541 --> 00:10:45,906 I got hit with AIDS. 233 00:10:48,345 --> 00:10:49,607 Consequences. 234 00:10:52,082 --> 00:10:55,882 Got into some real trouble, boy. 235 00:10:56,486 --> 00:10:58,010 Stole from my mom and dad. 236 00:10:59,289 --> 00:11:01,154 Stole from my own sister! 237 00:11:01,725 --> 00:11:02,714 And then one day, 238 00:11:04,928 --> 00:11:06,190 a piano fell on my head. 239 00:11:06,263 --> 00:11:07,252 What? 240 00:11:07,330 --> 00:11:09,127 Consequences. 241 00:11:10,767 --> 00:11:12,166 I feel like he missed a step there. 242 00:11:12,235 --> 00:11:13,793 HERRERA: Gave me 88 concussions. 243 00:11:14,337 --> 00:11:16,066 One for each key. 244 00:11:16,139 --> 00:11:18,164 You'd think I'm learning, but, no. 245 00:11:19,409 --> 00:11:20,569 See, I'm just like you. 246 00:11:21,011 --> 00:11:22,239 I got back out there, 247 00:11:22,312 --> 00:11:25,941 started making some real crimes, homeboy. 248 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:27,805 Oh, yeah. 249 00:11:28,151 --> 00:11:29,140 Oh, yeah. 250 00:11:30,420 --> 00:11:31,409 And then, 251 00:11:33,523 --> 00:11:35,047 I got trampled by a herd of buffalo. 252 00:11:35,125 --> 00:11:36,114 What? 253 00:11:36,192 --> 00:11:37,989 Consequences. 254 00:11:38,094 --> 00:11:40,756 Okay, Donnie, I think we've had enough. 255 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:41,956 Not done with my story! 256 00:11:45,402 --> 00:11:46,630 HERRERA: I was like you! 257 00:11:47,003 --> 00:11:48,800 I decided it'd be cool 258 00:11:49,873 --> 00:11:52,273 to hang out with some of the tough kids. 259 00:11:52,342 --> 00:11:54,469 Mmm. You know who I'm talking about. 260 00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,711 They were hanging on the streets late at night. 261 00:11:59,182 --> 00:12:02,117 More than cigarette smokers, homes. 262 00:12:02,385 --> 00:12:03,374 And then, 263 00:12:04,988 --> 00:12:08,389 one day I got shot out of a catapult. 264 00:12:08,491 --> 00:12:09,890 That's it. Okay. 265 00:12:09,993 --> 00:12:11,517 Into the mouth of a dragon! 266 00:12:11,594 --> 00:12:13,721 Students, everything you've heard here today is a lie. 267 00:12:13,797 --> 00:12:15,025 I don't lie anymore. 268 00:12:15,198 --> 00:12:16,358 You're all excused. 269 00:12:19,336 --> 00:12:23,033 Look at me! I shouldn't even be here! 270 00:12:23,306 --> 00:12:24,295 Thank you, Aurelio. 271 00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:26,068 I apologize, Denise. 272 00:12:26,142 --> 00:12:27,632 HERRERA: So I got really deep into crime. 273 00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:30,437 I did a drive-by at my own daughter's quinceaٌera! 274 00:12:30,547 --> 00:12:31,536 (WHIMPERS) 275 00:12:31,614 --> 00:12:34,913 Yeah, shot up everybody. Dead. Killed! 276 00:12:35,352 --> 00:12:36,751 Yeah! 277 00:12:37,287 --> 00:12:38,948 Yeah! 278 00:12:39,022 --> 00:12:40,512 Then I got sucked into a wormhole. 279 00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:41,579 Consequences. 280 00:12:41,658 --> 00:12:43,319 That's it. Okay. Everybody go. 281 00:12:43,460 --> 00:12:45,360 I was in another dimension, 282 00:12:45,528 --> 00:12:47,519 tried to introduce my own parents to each other. 283 00:12:47,597 --> 00:12:49,861 Almost failed. Arm was disappearing. 284 00:12:50,333 --> 00:12:53,097 I invented Johnny B. Goode at my parents' prom, 285 00:12:53,236 --> 00:12:55,761 and at the last moment, they kissed, and it came back. 286 00:12:55,872 --> 00:12:57,737 The faster we get away from him, the better. 287 00:12:57,841 --> 00:12:59,331 But nobody believe me! 288 00:12:59,809 --> 00:13:01,071 Where's my crack? Where's my crack? 289 00:13:02,212 --> 00:13:03,201 Oh. 290 00:13:05,048 --> 00:13:06,879 (BOOMING CRASH) 291 00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:08,474 (YELLS) 292 00:13:08,551 --> 00:13:09,609 Consequences! 293 00:13:14,524 --> 00:13:16,048 What up, Vegas? 294 00:13:16,126 --> 00:13:18,686 What up, Vegas? Yo! 295 00:13:18,828 --> 00:13:20,125 What's up? Three days, 296 00:13:20,196 --> 00:13:24,599 me and you, free drinks, naked biotches. 297 00:13:24,667 --> 00:13:26,396 This is gonna be our shit right here, dog. 298 00:13:26,469 --> 00:13:28,164 - That's right. - This is gonna be my... Let's get some jams 299 00:13:28,238 --> 00:13:29,728 going up in this bitch right now! 300 00:13:29,806 --> 00:13:31,569 RADIO ANNOUNCER: Number one track in the country right now. 301 00:13:31,641 --> 00:13:32,630 Roll With Me. 302 00:13:32,709 --> 00:13:36,201 Oh, shit! That's my jam right there. 303 00:13:36,279 --> 00:13:37,746 I love this song! 304 00:13:37,814 --> 00:13:39,372 I love this song too, man. 305 00:13:39,449 --> 00:13:41,349 Everybody loves this song. 306 00:13:41,418 --> 00:13:42,942 What, uh-huh. 307 00:13:43,052 --> 00:13:44,610 - (FEMALE VOICE SINGING) - What? 308 00:13:44,687 --> 00:13:46,985 BOTH: Roll with me, roll with me 309 00:13:47,056 --> 00:13:52,323 Light the night on fire with me 310 00:13:52,395 --> 00:13:54,693 Girl, you know that I got what you need, see 311 00:13:54,764 --> 00:13:56,026 Don't get greedy 312 00:13:56,099 --> 00:13:57,532 Give it up sweetly 313 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,033 Let me set that body free 314 00:13:59,102 --> 00:14:00,467 'Cause what you got 315 00:14:00,537 --> 00:14:01,595 You got to give it to me 316 00:14:01,671 --> 00:14:02,763 BOTH: What? 317 00:14:03,306 --> 00:14:05,672 Light the night on fire with me 318 00:14:05,775 --> 00:14:08,005 Ever since I was rocking a onesie 319 00:14:08,111 --> 00:14:09,373 I know that you was 320 00:14:09,446 --> 00:14:10,708 BOTH: Second to none, B 321 00:14:10,780 --> 00:14:11,940 Growing up 322 00:14:12,081 --> 00:14:14,982 And learning ABCs and 123s 323 00:14:15,051 --> 00:14:17,679 Hoping you'd learn we were meant to be 324 00:14:17,754 --> 00:14:19,187 Even way back then 325 00:14:19,255 --> 00:14:21,849 Every little nigga's not a perfect ten 326 00:14:21,925 --> 00:14:23,893 But then you know, I grow up 327 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,952 And got a little bit older, a little bit bolder 328 00:14:27,030 --> 00:14:29,658 Brushing off my shoulders, almost a man 329 00:14:29,732 --> 00:14:32,098 Those playground feelings grew stronger 330 00:14:32,202 --> 00:14:34,033 Couldn't wait much longer 331 00:14:34,103 --> 00:14:36,094 Now with me roll 332 00:14:36,172 --> 00:14:37,867 You belong, girl 333 00:14:38,074 --> 00:14:40,668 BOTH: Roll with me, roll with me 334 00:14:40,743 --> 00:14:44,042 Light the night on fire with me 335 00:14:44,113 --> 00:14:46,047 Here's your verse, take it right now 336 00:14:46,115 --> 00:14:47,104 Presentate 337 00:14:47,183 --> 00:14:48,548 And I ain't playing 338 00:14:48,618 --> 00:14:51,382 On top of the game and the life I be playin' 339 00:14:51,454 --> 00:14:54,116 Listen close to the shit I be sayin' 340 00:14:54,190 --> 00:14:55,384 (MUSIC STOPS) No, what the hell? 341 00:14:55,458 --> 00:14:57,016 Don't turn it offjust 'cause you don't know it. 342 00:14:57,093 --> 00:14:58,185 What are we gonna do when we get to Vegas? 343 00:14:58,261 --> 00:14:59,660 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 344 00:14:59,729 --> 00:15:01,754 Don't change the subject about what we gonna do in Vegas. 345 00:15:02,065 --> 00:15:04,727 If you don't know the words, just admit you don't know the words. 346 00:15:04,801 --> 00:15:07,827 I know the words. I told you. Why would I make up that I know, don't know. 347 00:15:08,104 --> 00:15:10,834 That's ridiculous, man. No, I know the words. 348 00:15:10,907 --> 00:15:11,896 It seems like you didn't know the words. 349 00:15:11,975 --> 00:15:13,465 I know the wor... Hey, list... 350 00:15:13,543 --> 00:15:14,874 - Hey, listen to me, man. - What? What? 351 00:15:14,944 --> 00:15:16,343 - I know the words to that song. - Okay. Okay. 352 00:15:16,412 --> 00:15:17,640 - Everybody knows. - Okay. 353 00:15:17,714 --> 00:15:19,944 No, no, it's not okay, 'cause you obviously don't believe me. 354 00:15:20,149 --> 00:15:22,014 Hey, dude, on our friendship. 355 00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:26,521 I know the words to Roll With Me. 356 00:15:28,691 --> 00:15:29,680 Okay. 357 00:15:30,426 --> 00:15:31,415 I'm sorry. 358 00:15:32,462 --> 00:15:33,554 - It's all right. - Just let it go. 359 00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:35,097 I'm sorry. That was stupid. Stupid. 360 00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:38,656 I'll turn it back up. 361 00:15:38,801 --> 00:15:41,531 RADIO ANNOUNCER: (LAUGHING) Yo! I love that track so much. 362 00:15:41,671 --> 00:15:44,003 I'm sorry, I gotta play it again. This is Roll With Me. 363 00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:45,267 101.3 kb. 364 00:15:45,341 --> 00:15:47,332 Roll with me, roll with me 365 00:15:51,548 --> 00:15:52,981 (GRUNTS AND SNIFFS) 366 00:15:54,717 --> 00:15:56,344 Yeah, that really hurt. 367 00:16:01,658 --> 00:16:05,856 You know what? Let's do the scene where you're Pacino 368 00:16:05,929 --> 00:16:07,021 and I'm De Niro from Heat. 369 00:16:07,664 --> 00:16:09,029 - Oh, all right. - Okay. 370 00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:11,862 (IMITATING DE NIRO) So. 371 00:16:14,537 --> 00:16:15,868 You got to know, 372 00:16:16,172 --> 00:16:17,935 I get a chance to take you out, 373 00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:20,509 I'm gonna take that shot. 374 00:16:21,878 --> 00:16:24,779 (IMITATING PACINO) I need you to know 375 00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:28,749 that I will do the same. 376 00:16:28,952 --> 00:16:29,941 I understand. 377 00:16:30,019 --> 00:16:33,716 I need you to understand as well that I understand. 378 00:16:33,923 --> 00:16:34,947 Is this too much? 379 00:16:35,024 --> 00:16:36,013 That's a little too much. 380 00:16:36,092 --> 00:16:37,081 It looks like someone's grabbing your, 381 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,286 or holding, like, the tip of your penis. 382 00:16:38,928 --> 00:16:41,123 Looks like somebody's just, like, pinching the tip of your penis. 383 00:16:41,464 --> 00:16:42,658 Like you're going, "hoygen." 384 00:16:42,732 --> 00:16:43,790 (LAUGHING) 385 00:16:53,343 --> 00:16:54,401 Give me a roll. 386 00:16:56,713 --> 00:16:57,737 Which one you want? 387 00:16:59,782 --> 00:17:01,340 - Give me both of them, man. - Okay. 388 00:17:04,654 --> 00:17:06,884 I'll decide which one I want when I want to eat it. 389 00:17:09,325 --> 00:17:11,486 Maybe you want some of these vegetables too? 390 00:17:12,095 --> 00:17:13,653 Nah, nah. 391 00:17:15,865 --> 00:17:17,059 Okay. Just saying, man. 392 00:17:17,734 --> 00:17:18,962 The nutrients is good 393 00:17:19,869 --> 00:17:21,393 for maintaining energy levels, so... 394 00:17:23,106 --> 00:17:24,971 I know what the fuck a vegetable is, man. 395 00:17:25,241 --> 00:17:27,334 Don't tell me what a vegetable is, man. I'm... 396 00:17:27,543 --> 00:17:29,568 Hey. I'm a grown-ass man. 397 00:17:30,413 --> 00:17:31,846 - All right? - Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. 398 00:17:31,914 --> 00:17:32,938 Yeah, I'm sorry. 399 00:17:35,485 --> 00:17:37,646 This three-bean salad is the bomb, though. 400 00:17:37,987 --> 00:17:38,976 Oh, snap. 401 00:17:39,355 --> 00:17:40,913 They got three-bean salad up in there? 402 00:17:40,990 --> 00:17:42,514 - Mmm-hmm. - I didn't even see that. 403 00:17:43,393 --> 00:17:44,485 You want some of mine? 404 00:17:45,628 --> 00:17:46,890 - Yeah. - Okay. 405 00:17:47,964 --> 00:17:49,659 (CLEARS THROAT) Open the hangar. 406 00:17:52,301 --> 00:17:53,325 What you doing? 407 00:17:54,804 --> 00:17:55,998 Nuh-uh. You don't do that. 408 00:17:56,673 --> 00:17:58,300 You don't feed me like a kid, man. 409 00:17:59,275 --> 00:18:00,469 I'm a grown-ass man. 410 00:18:00,977 --> 00:18:02,842 Okay. Yeah, sure. You got some schmutz right here. 411 00:18:02,979 --> 00:18:04,139 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 412 00:18:05,148 --> 00:18:06,172 Get off my face, nigga! 413 00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:08,607 You never touch a grown man's face! 414 00:18:08,718 --> 00:18:11,050 That's right. I'm sorry, okay? 415 00:18:11,287 --> 00:18:13,346 - You are a grown-ass man. - Hey, hey, hey! 416 00:18:14,057 --> 00:18:15,422 I don't need you to pat my back! 417 00:18:15,758 --> 00:18:16,816 I'm a grown-ass man! 418 00:18:17,193 --> 00:18:18,217 What you doing? 419 00:18:18,461 --> 00:18:19,450 I know you're a grown... 420 00:18:19,529 --> 00:18:21,019 I don't want to hear it anymore about grown-ass man. 421 00:18:21,097 --> 00:18:23,065 - That's what I am. - I don't want to hear it. 422 00:18:23,132 --> 00:18:24,622 - Why you have to treat me... - Shh. Shh. 423 00:18:24,701 --> 00:18:26,293 You're treating me like a kid. 424 00:18:26,369 --> 00:18:27,700 This is not the place for this kind of... 425 00:18:27,770 --> 00:18:29,897 - (WHIMPERING) - Don't start acting up again. 426 00:18:29,972 --> 00:18:31,303 'Cause you're making me angry. 427 00:18:31,374 --> 00:18:34,571 Okay. Then I need you to breathe a little bit. Can you breathe? 428 00:18:34,644 --> 00:18:36,805 (SNIFFLING AND EXHALING DEEPLY) 429 00:18:36,879 --> 00:18:38,540 - Just breathe. - Don't you tell me how to breathe. 430 00:18:38,614 --> 00:18:42,015 No, nigga, I want a motherfucking inside voice up in this bitch. 431 00:18:42,285 --> 00:18:44,219 Don't be getting loud up around these white people. 432 00:18:44,353 --> 00:18:47,379 You treat me like a baby, but I'm not a baby. 433 00:18:47,457 --> 00:18:49,015 - Are you not a baby? - I'm not a baby. 434 00:18:49,092 --> 00:18:50,081 Who pee-peed their self? 435 00:18:50,159 --> 00:18:51,217 - Who left the pee-pee, huh? - (CRYING) 436 00:18:51,327 --> 00:18:52,760 - I pee-peed. - Did you pee-pee yourself? 437 00:18:52,829 --> 00:18:53,921 Just a little bit. 438 00:18:53,996 --> 00:18:56,362 Okay, then let's go to the bathroom and change, okay? 439 00:18:56,432 --> 00:18:58,263 - I don't want to change. - You got to change. 440 00:18:58,334 --> 00:19:00,063 Get your hands off of me! 441 00:19:00,136 --> 00:19:01,194 Is that how we behave? 442 00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,101 - (WHINING) - Is that how we behave? 443 00:19:03,573 --> 00:19:04,631 Stupid bitch! 444 00:19:04,707 --> 00:19:05,833 (GASPS) 445 00:19:08,144 --> 00:19:09,133 (GROANS) 446 00:19:09,412 --> 00:19:10,845 Oh! Oh, I'm sorry. 447 00:19:11,247 --> 00:19:12,680 I'm sorry. You a grown-ass man. 448 00:19:12,915 --> 00:19:14,439 - You a grown-ass man. - (CRYING) 449 00:19:14,517 --> 00:19:16,712 Are you a... Who's a grown-ass man? You a grown-ass man. Okay? 450 00:19:16,786 --> 00:19:18,048 I am. 451 00:19:18,121 --> 00:19:19,986 - You a grown-ass man, right? - I am. 452 00:19:20,056 --> 00:19:21,614 And you know what grown-ass men do? 453 00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:23,258 You go to the bathroom and change your pants 454 00:19:23,326 --> 00:19:24,384 when you got the pee-pee, right? 455 00:19:24,460 --> 00:19:25,950 - Yeah. - Yeah? Okay, let's go. 456 00:19:26,529 --> 00:19:27,757 Let's go, all right? 457 00:19:28,564 --> 00:19:29,826 Excuse me, everybody. 458 00:19:30,166 --> 00:19:31,155 Um. 459 00:19:32,001 --> 00:19:34,834 I'm sorry, but my son got that Benjamin Button's disease. 460 00:19:35,271 --> 00:19:37,136 Um, he's four. 461 00:19:37,406 --> 00:19:39,237 Four and three quarters. 462 00:19:59,495 --> 00:20:01,656 - (EXPLOSION) - (PEOPLE GASPING) 463 00:20:01,731 --> 00:20:02,789 (CAR ALARMS BLARING) 464 00:20:02,865 --> 00:20:05,493 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 465 00:20:09,939 --> 00:20:14,273 (SIRENS WAILING) 466 00:20:23,953 --> 00:20:25,386 You know what would be the worst way to die? 467 00:20:25,454 --> 00:20:26,580 Oh, God. 468 00:20:26,789 --> 00:20:30,816 If I'm hanging from a cliff, and you're holding on to me. 469 00:20:31,093 --> 00:20:32,993 - Mmm-hmm. - And I'm like, making eye contact. 470 00:20:33,062 --> 00:20:34,359 - Right, right, right. - And then I go... 471 00:20:34,497 --> 00:20:35,521 (GASPS) 472 00:20:35,598 --> 00:20:37,327 Oh, no. And you let go of me? 473 00:20:37,733 --> 00:20:39,826 - No. - Or you slipped? You slipped? 474 00:20:39,902 --> 00:20:40,960 - I slipped... - You slipped. 475 00:20:41,037 --> 00:20:42,368 Because you didn't hold me long enough. 476 00:20:42,471 --> 00:20:44,769 The moment that you know that you slipped, and you know you're done. 477 00:20:44,941 --> 00:20:47,068 And I question whether or not you let me go on purpose. 478 00:20:47,143 --> 00:20:49,407 I guarantee you I would not let you go on purpose. 479 00:20:49,478 --> 00:20:50,843 - Can I say something to you? - Yeah. 480 00:20:50,980 --> 00:20:52,948 That's just for my own thing? 481 00:20:53,015 --> 00:20:54,607 I don't mean to be selfish, but I'm just gonna say this. 482 00:20:54,684 --> 00:20:56,379 - Okay. - You got sweaty palms. 483 00:20:57,053 --> 00:21:00,250 There's a really good chance of you slipping right the fuck out of my hand. 484 00:21:00,423 --> 00:21:02,448 MAN: I'm gonna do my one line here 485 00:21:02,525 --> 00:21:04,220 MAN: Oh, yeah. 486 00:21:07,730 --> 00:21:09,630 'Cause every day I give him wedgies. 487 00:21:09,932 --> 00:21:11,194 For those of you who don't know, 488 00:21:11,267 --> 00:21:13,258 a wedgie is when you take someone's underwear... 489 00:21:13,603 --> 00:21:14,831 They're fully aware of what a wedgie is. 490 00:21:14,904 --> 00:21:16,633 And you emasculate him! 491 00:21:16,706 --> 00:21:18,196 What are you doing? Leave. 492 00:21:18,274 --> 00:21:21,266 And that's what I have to live with now every day of my life. 493 00:21:21,344 --> 00:21:22,333 Thank you. 35183