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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:04,449 I saw on the news today, 2 00:00:04,484 --> 00:00:07,823 talking about the violence in foreign countries. 3 00:00:09,204 --> 00:00:12,139 talking about all the savagery up in the world, 4 00:00:12,342 --> 00:00:16,068 but they ain't never talk about South Central. 5 00:00:17,544 --> 00:00:20,899 Ain't never talk about what happened to my brother. 6 00:00:21,713 --> 00:00:24,081 Now he's gone. 7 00:00:24,115 --> 00:00:26,477 Now I ain't got no brother. 8 00:00:27,683 --> 00:00:30,750 Yo, dog. 9 00:00:32,886 --> 00:00:35,620 I'll be your brother. 10 00:00:35,655 --> 00:00:36,855 Really? 11 00:00:37,416 --> 00:00:39,434 Absolutely, dog. 12 00:00:40,325 --> 00:00:42,459 You're gonna need somebody to lean on. 13 00:00:42,493 --> 00:00:44,427 You can't just be walking around here 14 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,062 with this emptiness in your heart, man. 15 00:00:46,096 --> 00:00:50,398 An emptiness that can only be filled by a brother. 16 00:00:51,899 --> 00:00:53,632 Okay. 17 00:00:53,666 --> 00:00:57,501 - Brothers, man? - Brothers! 18 00:00:57,536 --> 00:00:59,469 - Get it in here, dog. - Come over here. 19 00:00:59,503 --> 00:01:00,703 You got to get it in there, dog. 20 00:01:00,738 --> 00:01:02,071 I got to tuck it, man. 21 00:01:02,105 --> 00:01:03,472 Tuck it, tuck it, tuck it. 22 00:01:03,506 --> 00:01:04,906 Brothers, man. 23 00:01:04,941 --> 00:01:06,141 Come here, man. 24 00:01:06,175 --> 00:01:08,176 Why the [bleep] you keep following me around, man? 25 00:01:08,211 --> 00:01:10,445 Why don't you go home and stay out of my room? 26 00:01:10,479 --> 00:01:11,746 Don't mess with my models. 27 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:12,780 I'm about to get a wedgie up 28 00:01:12,814 --> 00:01:13,814 in this mother[bleep] right here. 29 00:01:13,848 --> 00:01:15,115 What the-- Hey! 30 00:01:15,149 --> 00:01:16,148 Hey! Get the [bleep] off me, man. 31 00:01:16,183 --> 00:01:17,983 Give me the wedgie-- Hey. 32 00:01:18,017 --> 00:01:20,017 Hey. 33 00:01:20,051 --> 00:01:22,576 You don't give a grown man a wedgie. 34 00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:26,654 Mother[bleep], I'm 34 years old. 35 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:29,856 I got grandchildren. 36 00:01:52,072 --> 00:01:54,406 Hey! 37 00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,576 Thank you! 38 00:02:02,446 --> 00:02:04,146 Thank you. 39 00:02:04,431 --> 00:02:06,465 - I am Keegan-Michael Key. - I'm Jordan Peele. 40 00:02:06,499 --> 00:02:07,565 And we are Key and Peele. 41 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,033 - Thank you for coming out. - Yeah. 42 00:02:12,036 --> 00:02:14,237 You ever have a friend that just 43 00:02:14,271 --> 00:02:17,473 uses the wrong slang for the situation? 44 00:02:17,507 --> 00:02:18,573 Like, I know this dude 45 00:02:18,608 --> 00:02:20,975 who would just say things way too harsh... 46 00:02:21,009 --> 00:02:23,343 - Mm-hmm. - for making love... 47 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:25,210 - Oof, yeah. - Hooking up with a girl. 48 00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,511 Were you with Tiffany last night? 49 00:02:26,545 --> 00:02:27,745 - Yeah, man. - Yeah. 50 00:02:27,779 --> 00:02:30,247 You know that half-Ethiopian, half-Chinese girl? 51 00:02:30,281 --> 00:02:31,514 Yeah. Yeah. I know. 52 00:02:31,549 --> 00:02:33,249 Oh, yeah. How could I forget? 53 00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:34,950 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 54 00:02:34,985 --> 00:02:37,320 Man, crushed it. 55 00:02:37,354 --> 00:02:39,688 Smashed it, smoshed it. Crushed it. 56 00:02:41,123 --> 00:02:44,558 Krishity-krishity-krishity- krishity-krishna crushed it. 57 00:02:44,593 --> 00:02:46,226 There was that other girl last week. 58 00:02:46,261 --> 00:02:48,795 - Yeah. - Half-Paraguay, half-Uruguay? 59 00:02:48,829 --> 00:02:50,062 - I see. Yup. 60 00:02:51,097 --> 00:02:52,096 Yup. Yup. 61 00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:53,230 - Priz-nushed it. 62 00:02:53,265 --> 00:02:55,031 - Okay. Okay. 63 00:02:55,066 --> 00:02:56,766 Are both of those ladies okay? 64 00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,768 - Yup, both those ladies. - Okay. 65 00:02:58,802 --> 00:03:02,603 - Other girl, half-Russian, half-Prussian. 66 00:03:05,439 --> 00:03:07,306 I was crushin' the Russian-Prussian. 67 00:03:11,911 --> 00:03:12,910 Whoa. 68 00:03:12,945 --> 00:03:14,512 Man, I felt sorry for that dude, 69 00:03:14,546 --> 00:03:15,613 But, you know, what you gonna do? 70 00:03:15,647 --> 00:03:17,514 I had to lay that [bleep] down. 71 00:03:17,548 --> 00:03:18,947 You know I did, dog. 72 00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:21,482 What? That [bleep] lay you down. 73 00:03:21,516 --> 00:03:23,383 Hey, brother, I don't know what fight you was at. 74 00:03:23,417 --> 00:03:25,051 That [bleep] got a couple licks in, sure. 75 00:03:25,085 --> 00:03:27,119 But pfft, I was like, bip! 76 00:03:28,588 --> 00:03:30,888 Man, I put the pussy on the chain wax. 77 00:03:32,990 --> 00:03:36,158 - Put the pussy on the-- - the chain wax. 78 00:03:36,193 --> 00:03:38,793 I put the pussy on the chain wax. 79 00:03:38,828 --> 00:03:41,129 I put the pussy on the chain wax. 80 00:03:41,163 --> 00:03:43,603 - Pussy on the chain wax? - Hmm? 81 00:03:44,966 --> 00:03:46,565 Is that a thing? 82 00:03:48,201 --> 00:03:49,401 Well, yeah. That-- Yeah. 83 00:03:49,435 --> 00:03:50,635 That's a-- That's a thing. 84 00:03:50,669 --> 00:03:52,636 - Yeah. - Yeah, that's something. 85 00:03:52,671 --> 00:03:54,704 Okay. 86 00:03:54,739 --> 00:03:56,139 Yeah, I put the pussy on the chain wax. 87 00:03:56,173 --> 00:03:57,739 Pussy on the chain wax! 88 00:03:57,774 --> 00:04:00,475 I said I put the pussy on the chain wax! 89 00:04:00,509 --> 00:04:02,176 He put the pussy on the chain wax. 90 00:04:02,210 --> 00:04:04,478 - Pussy on the chain wax. - Pussy on the chain wax. 91 00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:06,078 Uh, pussy coming in. 92 00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:07,312 - This is the chain wax. - Hold up. 93 00:04:07,346 --> 00:04:09,046 Hold up. 94 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,622 I just, um, googled "Pussy on the chain wax." 95 00:04:12,449 --> 00:04:13,782 No results. 96 00:04:13,816 --> 00:04:16,718 Man, um, why are you googling? 97 00:04:16,752 --> 00:04:17,785 No, I'm just saying. 98 00:04:17,887 --> 00:04:21,188 "Pussy on the chain wax," It's not an expression. 99 00:04:21,222 --> 00:04:22,722 Ye-- Yeah it is. 100 00:04:22,757 --> 00:04:23,856 - Yeah, it is. - Yes, thank you. 101 00:04:23,891 --> 00:04:25,124 - It's something, Leo. - Yeah. 102 00:04:25,158 --> 00:04:26,992 What it-- What it-- What does it mean then? 103 00:04:27,026 --> 00:04:28,593 What does it mean? 104 00:04:29,496 --> 00:04:30,994 - I'll tell you what it means. - Do it, do it. 105 00:04:31,035 --> 00:04:33,747 It means that... 106 00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:37,542 is that you put the... 107 00:04:37,593 --> 00:04:40,568 pussy on the chain wax! 108 00:04:42,037 --> 00:04:43,303 Nope, nope. 109 00:04:43,338 --> 00:04:44,404 Pussy on the chain wax! 110 00:04:44,438 --> 00:04:45,805 It's not-- Don't-- 111 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:47,139 - Pussy on the chain wax! - Pussy on the chain wax. 112 00:04:47,173 --> 00:04:49,073 Acting like y'all know what it is-- 113 00:04:49,108 --> 00:04:50,774 Okay, have either of the two of you-- 114 00:04:50,809 --> 00:04:53,376 have you ever said the words 115 00:04:53,411 --> 00:04:55,846 "Pussy on the chain wax" in any context? 116 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,081 - Pfft, us? - Pfft. 117 00:04:58,116 --> 00:04:59,783 - He-- He talking to you. - Man-- 118 00:04:59,817 --> 00:05:01,084 He ain't talking to me. 119 00:05:01,119 --> 00:05:02,953 Hey, man. 120 00:05:02,987 --> 00:05:04,721 It's not our fault that you ain't never put the... 121 00:05:04,755 --> 00:05:07,056 pussy on the chain wax! 122 00:05:07,090 --> 00:05:08,190 Pussy on the chain wax! 123 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:11,494 No one can put the pussy on the chain wax 124 00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:14,497 'cause pussy on the chain wax ain't a thing! 125 00:05:15,329 --> 00:05:16,899 You trying to start a thing, aren't you? 126 00:05:16,934 --> 00:05:19,669 Wha-- Me-- 127 00:05:19,703 --> 00:05:23,039 I mean, what are you talking about, trying to start a thing? 128 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,575 A thing, like "Off the hook" 129 00:05:25,609 --> 00:05:27,043 or "I'ma put you on blast." 130 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,677 You trying to get it in the ether, 131 00:05:28,712 --> 00:05:31,513 so everybody out there saying "Pussy on the chain wax." 132 00:05:31,547 --> 00:05:33,014 Man, why are you doing this? 133 00:05:33,049 --> 00:05:34,682 Why you looking up [bleep] I'm saying and-- 134 00:05:34,717 --> 00:05:36,584 and fact-checking my ass and [bleep]? 135 00:05:36,619 --> 00:05:40,121 You keep saying some [bleep] that doesn't exist, 136 00:05:40,156 --> 00:05:41,522 and you got thing one and thing two 137 00:05:41,556 --> 00:05:43,657 corroborating your story like it does, 138 00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,592 and then-- why you lying then? 139 00:05:45,626 --> 00:05:47,894 It's bull[bleep]! 140 00:05:50,663 --> 00:05:53,665 Bodie... 141 00:05:56,634 --> 00:06:01,438 Why do you care so much 142 00:06:01,472 --> 00:06:07,243 whether I made up "pussy on the chain wax" or not? 143 00:06:10,814 --> 00:06:13,516 I lost my job. 144 00:06:15,519 --> 00:06:18,153 My girl left me. 145 00:06:20,122 --> 00:06:24,357 And all I w-- All I wanted to do 146 00:06:24,391 --> 00:06:29,727 was have a little bit of fun with my friends today. 147 00:06:29,762 --> 00:06:31,062 So why-- why do you ha-- 148 00:06:31,096 --> 00:06:33,630 why do you have to belittle me like that? 149 00:06:37,801 --> 00:06:39,468 - It's just that I-- - Yeah? 150 00:06:39,503 --> 00:06:41,737 I'm just trying to say-- 151 00:06:41,772 --> 00:06:45,674 What you trying to say, [bleep]? 152 00:06:45,708 --> 00:06:48,143 I'm trying to say 153 00:06:48,177 --> 00:06:51,580 that I want to put the pussy... 154 00:06:51,614 --> 00:06:54,916 on the chain wax! 155 00:06:56,585 --> 00:06:58,286 He did it, yo. He put the... 156 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,788 - pussy on the chain wax! - Yeah! 157 00:07:09,447 --> 00:07:10,547 So, uh, yeah. 158 00:07:10,581 --> 00:07:12,515 I got, like, 30-something followers. 159 00:07:12,550 --> 00:07:14,851 I'm up to, like, 15 tweets a day. 160 00:07:14,885 --> 00:07:19,089 So if you wanted to, um, follow-- all right. 161 00:07:19,123 --> 00:07:22,592 No, no, no, no! 162 00:07:22,626 --> 00:07:24,794 - What? - They hating on the Hathaways. 163 00:07:24,828 --> 00:07:27,396 They hating on the Hathaways? 164 00:07:27,431 --> 00:07:30,900 They straight hating on Annie Hathaways. 165 00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:32,935 - That's your girl, dog! - I know that's my girl, dog. 166 00:07:32,970 --> 00:07:34,708 Annie Hathaways from Devil Wears Pradas? 167 00:07:34,742 --> 00:07:35,671 They hating on her. 168 00:07:35,893 --> 00:07:37,363 - Nicholas Nicklebys? - Straight hating! 169 00:07:37,398 --> 00:07:39,365 - Les Misérables? - Les Misérables! 170 00:07:39,399 --> 00:07:40,733 ♪ I dreamed a dreams, and dreams get dreamed ♪ 171 00:07:40,768 --> 00:07:42,135 - Oh, man. - No, what? 172 00:07:42,169 --> 00:07:43,336 Why you be hating on that? 173 00:07:43,370 --> 00:07:44,904 How do you be hating on the Hathaways? 174 00:07:44,938 --> 00:07:46,539 I do not know! 175 00:07:46,573 --> 00:07:48,140 - 'cause that's your girl, dog! - That's my girl with the-- 176 00:07:48,175 --> 00:07:49,308 I've been rolling with the Hathaways 177 00:07:49,342 --> 00:07:50,710 Since Princess Diaries! 178 00:07:50,744 --> 00:07:52,745 Shh. 179 00:07:55,248 --> 00:07:56,848 You was there since day one! 180 00:07:56,883 --> 00:07:58,383 Man, you know I be loving me some Princess Diaries 2: 181 00:07:58,417 --> 00:07:59,451 The Royal Engagement! 182 00:07:59,485 --> 00:08:00,752 You got the Blu-ray! 183 00:08:00,786 --> 00:08:02,721 And I got that on DVD and LaserDisc and VHS, man. 184 00:08:02,755 --> 00:08:04,489 - Pfft. - Rachel Getting Married though. 185 00:08:04,523 --> 00:08:05,724 - What? Uh-uh. - Mm-mm. 186 00:08:05,758 --> 00:08:06,858 - Uh-uh. uh-uh. - Rachel Getting Married. 187 00:08:06,893 --> 00:08:07,959 Rachel Getting Married, though? 188 00:08:07,994 --> 00:08:08,961 Rachel Getting Married, though. 189 00:08:08,995 --> 00:08:10,228 Yo, do you love Anne Hathaways? 190 00:08:10,263 --> 00:08:11,396 - I do! - Come on. 191 00:08:14,133 --> 00:08:15,400 - Hathaways! - Come on, man. 192 00:08:15,434 --> 00:08:17,369 - And the Oscar goes to... - Annie Hathaways. 193 00:08:17,403 --> 00:08:18,770 - Crackhead killed her brother! - That's right. 194 00:08:18,805 --> 00:08:20,372 - Come on. - Broken Back. 195 00:08:20,406 --> 00:08:21,707 - Okay, Broken Backs. Broken Backs. 196 00:08:21,741 --> 00:08:22,741 Talking about Broken Back Mountain. 197 00:08:22,775 --> 00:08:23,875 That's right. Broken Backs, dog! 198 00:08:23,910 --> 00:08:24,976 I'm married to Jake Jiggling-halls. 199 00:08:25,011 --> 00:08:26,311 - Uh, Giggling-thalls? - Thank you. 200 00:08:26,346 --> 00:08:27,612 I stand corrected. So wait. You know what? 201 00:08:27,647 --> 00:08:28,647 I didn't like that one. 202 00:08:28,681 --> 00:08:29,681 That was not my [bleep], though. 203 00:08:29,716 --> 00:08:30,816 Broken Backs was not my [bleep]. 204 00:08:30,850 --> 00:08:31,950 - But she was good in that. - She was good. 205 00:08:31,985 --> 00:08:33,352 Oh, play that confident Texas businesswoman. 206 00:08:33,386 --> 00:08:34,753 Talk about straight up, "You know what? 207 00:08:34,787 --> 00:08:36,188 "I'm struggling with my husband's sexuality." 208 00:08:36,222 --> 00:08:37,723 She kept her integrity at the same time 209 00:08:37,757 --> 00:08:39,491 - as showing her breasteses. - That's a delicate balance. 210 00:08:39,525 --> 00:08:40,859 That's a delicate balance. 211 00:08:40,893 --> 00:08:42,194 Why was you hating on the Hathaways? 212 00:08:42,228 --> 00:08:44,062 But why would you be hating on the Hathaways? 213 00:08:44,097 --> 00:08:45,430 Confident woman in Hollywood 214 00:08:45,464 --> 00:08:47,298 whose sole character flaw is that she cares too much! 215 00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:48,733 She cares too much! 216 00:08:48,768 --> 00:08:50,435 - It's that she cares too much! - Yeah, she care too much! 217 00:08:50,469 --> 00:08:52,104 - Come on! - Come on! 218 00:08:52,138 --> 00:08:53,605 You know who they never be hating on? 219 00:08:53,639 --> 00:08:55,424 - Who's that, dog? - Sandra Bullocksies. 220 00:08:55,444 --> 00:08:57,309 - Sandra Bullocksies. - She's my girl, 221 00:08:57,343 --> 00:08:58,610 and they never be hating on her. 222 00:08:58,645 --> 00:08:59,811 That's your girl right there. Straight up there. 223 00:08:59,846 --> 00:09:01,179 Sandra Bullocksies your girl right there. 224 00:09:01,214 --> 00:09:02,448 Straight up. 225 00:09:02,482 --> 00:09:03,949 Do you know who should do a movie together, though? 226 00:09:03,983 --> 00:09:05,551 But who is that, dog? 227 00:09:05,585 --> 00:09:08,353 Bullocksies and Hathaways! 228 00:09:08,388 --> 00:09:09,988 You talking about some Hathaway 229 00:09:10,023 --> 00:09:11,356 - and some Bullocksies? - No! 230 00:09:11,391 --> 00:09:12,791 I'm talking about some Bullocksies 231 00:09:12,826 --> 00:09:14,360 and some Hathaways! 232 00:09:14,394 --> 00:09:15,828 Let me just explain what I'm talking about, though. 233 00:09:15,862 --> 00:09:19,799 I'm talking about some Hathaways and some Bullocksies. 234 00:09:19,833 --> 00:09:20,867 No, you right. 235 00:09:20,901 --> 00:09:23,002 Bullocksies. Hathaways. 236 00:09:23,037 --> 00:09:28,541 That would be my [bleep]! 237 00:09:29,844 --> 00:09:33,280 Oh. 238 00:09:33,314 --> 00:09:35,048 - Oh, you good? - Yeah, I-I'm good. 239 00:09:35,082 --> 00:09:36,216 I thought something Was gonna... 240 00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:37,684 - Me too. so-- - happen for a second there. 241 00:09:37,718 --> 00:09:40,287 Figured we would transform in some way, 242 00:09:40,321 --> 00:09:43,089 shape, or form. Okay. 243 00:09:43,123 --> 00:09:46,025 That would be my [bleep]! 244 00:09:46,059 --> 00:09:51,197 That would be my [bleep]! 245 00:09:57,204 --> 00:09:59,973 Who's the most dignified black person in the world? 246 00:10:00,007 --> 00:10:01,708 Sidney Poitier. 247 00:10:01,742 --> 00:10:02,708 - Sidney. - Sidney Poitier. 248 00:10:02,743 --> 00:10:04,010 Yeah. See? See? 249 00:10:04,044 --> 00:10:06,312 All I did was say his name, and you start to clap. 250 00:10:06,346 --> 00:10:07,680 He is. 251 00:10:07,714 --> 00:10:09,715 He's the most graceful, dignified man in the world. 252 00:10:09,749 --> 00:10:11,083 - Is who? - Sidney Poitier. 253 00:10:11,117 --> 00:10:12,251 Okay. Gotta give it up. 254 00:10:12,285 --> 00:10:14,320 Gotta give it up. 255 00:10:14,354 --> 00:10:15,521 You know who's on his way, though? 256 00:10:15,555 --> 00:10:17,357 - Morgan Freeman's on his way. - Mm-hmm. 257 00:10:17,391 --> 00:10:20,026 He's on, like, second-tiered super dignity status. 258 00:10:20,060 --> 00:10:21,161 (imitates Freeman) "Morgan Freeman. 259 00:10:21,195 --> 00:10:22,762 "He's a frisky little mother[bleep]." 260 00:10:24,465 --> 00:10:26,133 Well, you see Morgan Freeman in public. 261 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,368 He's got, like, a leather jacket and jeans. 262 00:10:28,402 --> 00:10:29,836 Yeah. 263 00:10:31,605 --> 00:10:33,039 (imitates Freeman) "I still got it." 264 00:10:33,074 --> 00:10:36,009 "Still got it." 265 00:10:38,946 --> 00:10:40,480 Hello, everyone. 266 00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:43,083 I'm Joseph Carmichael. 267 00:10:43,117 --> 00:10:49,089 Otis is-- was my father. 268 00:10:49,123 --> 00:10:52,492 But we are not here today to mourn his death, 269 00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,661 but to celebrate his life. 270 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:58,399 We knew Otis as a teacher, a community leader, 271 00:10:58,433 --> 00:11:02,069 a role model, a husband, and a father. 272 00:11:02,104 --> 00:11:04,071 Now, I thought it would be nice 273 00:11:04,106 --> 00:11:07,475 to share something about him y'all may not have known. 274 00:11:07,509 --> 00:11:09,110 When my father was younger, 275 00:11:09,144 --> 00:11:11,012 he was an actor in Hollywood. 276 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,281 Going through my dad's things, 277 00:11:13,315 --> 00:11:16,427 I found this reel of his work as an actor. 278 00:11:17,186 --> 00:11:18,753 I haven't seen it yet, 279 00:11:18,787 --> 00:11:21,356 but I thought it would be fun to watch, 280 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,894 here with all of you today. 281 00:11:27,998 --> 00:11:29,832 Thank you. 282 00:11:39,542 --> 00:11:42,188 Where are my pies? 283 00:11:43,313 --> 00:11:47,583 Ribbles, where are the pies I put on my windowsill? 284 00:11:48,819 --> 00:11:52,410 Why, I don't know, Mrs. Caruthers. 285 00:11:52,643 --> 00:11:54,768 Why would anyone want to steal 286 00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:57,438 one of your delicious blueberry pies? 287 00:12:01,389 --> 00:12:02,600 Hey. 288 00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:05,036 See to it you shine those shoes up nice, boy. 289 00:12:05,268 --> 00:12:08,805 Yes, sir, you best be believing I will! 290 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,361 I'll shine your shoes blacker than my mama's booty. 291 00:12:29,088 --> 00:12:30,355 Ooga-booga! 292 00:12:30,389 --> 00:12:32,356 Ooga-booga shoo! Ooga-booga shoo! 293 00:12:32,390 --> 00:12:33,824 - Ooga-booga! - Oh, hell no! 294 00:12:33,858 --> 00:12:36,426 Ooga-booga shoo! 295 00:12:55,580 --> 00:12:58,682 In 1964, my father marched 296 00:12:58,716 --> 00:13:02,018 with Martin Luther King Jr. and Harry Belafonte 297 00:13:02,053 --> 00:13:05,022 along with other renowned civil rights leaders. 298 00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:12,594 The big boss of any company is always, like, super carefree. 299 00:13:12,945 --> 00:13:14,379 Right, you got a cushy job. 300 00:13:14,413 --> 00:13:16,014 - You're-- You're the boss. - Right. 301 00:13:16,048 --> 00:13:17,115 Those are the guys walking around, 302 00:13:17,149 --> 00:13:18,149 "Hey. How's everybody doing? 303 00:13:18,183 --> 00:13:20,151 "I'll be in my office." 304 00:13:20,185 --> 00:13:21,919 Yeah. Yeah. 305 00:13:21,954 --> 00:13:23,287 And my boss-- I used to work at the theater in Chicago, 306 00:13:23,322 --> 00:13:24,588 called the Second City, 307 00:13:24,623 --> 00:13:26,223 and my boss used to do this thing with me all the time. 308 00:13:26,257 --> 00:13:28,425 Hey. Hey, what's going on? 309 00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:29,526 - Hey. - Hey. 310 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,361 Oh. 311 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:33,330 What are you up to? What's going on? 312 00:13:33,364 --> 00:13:34,998 - Oh, just fi-- - Yeah. 313 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:38,468 Just, uh-- in the-- Oh! 314 00:13:40,838 --> 00:13:42,205 You hanging in there? Things are good? 315 00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:43,940 - I'm hanging in there, yeah. - Things are good? 316 00:13:43,974 --> 00:13:46,276 Just been filing a sexual, uh, harassment lawsuit. 317 00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:48,311 Oh, okay. 318 00:13:49,701 --> 00:13:51,235 Okay, all right. 319 00:13:51,269 --> 00:13:52,637 Good morning, Tom. 320 00:13:52,671 --> 00:13:54,271 Jason. 321 00:13:54,306 --> 00:13:55,572 How you doing there, Dave? 322 00:13:55,607 --> 00:13:57,541 Crystal, Tommy. 323 00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:58,942 Good morning, Jake. 324 00:13:58,977 --> 00:14:00,277 How are you? 325 00:14:00,311 --> 00:14:01,478 Pretty good, Kenny. 326 00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:02,579 Yeah, yeah. 327 00:14:03,098 --> 00:14:04,699 Uh, you know, so early in the morning, 328 00:14:04,733 --> 00:14:06,835 I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, 329 00:14:06,869 --> 00:14:08,704 but, uh, you know how I was 330 00:14:08,738 --> 00:14:10,739 - supposed to work late tonight? - Mm-hmm. 331 00:14:10,774 --> 00:14:13,242 Well, I got to run this errand for Mr. Mahina, 332 00:14:13,276 --> 00:14:15,211 and he says that you're gonna have to cover for me, 333 00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:17,046 So there it is. I don't nee-- I'm sorry. 334 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:18,281 Dropped the ax. 335 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,016 Okay, so-- 336 00:14:20,050 --> 00:14:22,251 - Hmm. - Mm-hmm. 337 00:14:22,285 --> 00:14:23,819 - Again. - Yeah. 338 00:14:23,853 --> 00:14:26,654 So-- Oh, you know what? 339 00:14:26,689 --> 00:14:28,189 Just remembered. 340 00:14:28,224 --> 00:14:31,025 Mr. Mahina also-- almost slipped my mind-- 341 00:14:31,060 --> 00:14:33,061 wants us to, uh, change parking spaces. 342 00:14:33,095 --> 00:14:34,429 What? 343 00:14:34,463 --> 00:14:35,997 Yeah. M-Me personally? 344 00:14:36,032 --> 00:14:38,166 I enjoy the nine-minute walk, 345 00:14:38,201 --> 00:14:39,901 But, uh, he said that we have to do it. 346 00:14:39,936 --> 00:14:42,437 Believe it. I hate it as much as you do. 347 00:14:42,472 --> 00:14:44,206 - What are you gonna do? - Nothing you can do. 348 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,407 If Mr. Mahina said it-- 349 00:14:45,441 --> 00:14:47,075 Mahina. 350 00:14:47,110 --> 00:14:48,610 This whole situation has been Mahina-nized. 351 00:14:48,645 --> 00:14:50,879 It just seems a little confusing to me 352 00:14:50,914 --> 00:14:53,114 as to why Mr. Mahina 353 00:14:53,149 --> 00:14:55,617 would give a [bleep] where we park. 354 00:14:55,651 --> 00:14:57,085 How's that? 355 00:14:57,119 --> 00:15:00,989 I mean, why would he care where we park? 356 00:15:01,024 --> 00:15:02,425 I-I don't know the answer to that question. 357 00:15:02,459 --> 00:15:03,859 I-I mean, that's-- it's just what he said. 358 00:15:03,894 --> 00:15:06,295 He-- Hey, the Mahina works in mysterious ways. 359 00:15:06,329 --> 00:15:08,130 You know what, I'm gonna ask him myself 'cause-- 360 00:15:08,164 --> 00:15:11,166 No, that's okay! I'll do it! 361 00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:18,540 Uh, Mr. Mahina, sir, I know you're busy, 362 00:15:18,575 --> 00:15:20,776 but can I speak to you about the parking switch? 363 00:15:20,810 --> 00:15:22,377 What's there to talk about, Kenny? 364 00:15:22,412 --> 00:15:25,648 I told you and Jake to switch parking spaces! 365 00:15:25,682 --> 00:15:27,817 Don't you know who I am? 366 00:15:27,851 --> 00:15:30,153 I am Mr. Mahina, 367 00:15:30,187 --> 00:15:32,856 And I'm a real, real person in here! 368 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:35,926 Get the hell out of my office! 369 00:15:38,196 --> 00:15:39,497 Wow. Did you hear that? 370 00:15:39,531 --> 00:15:40,731 It was crazy in there. 371 00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:43,567 I mean, that was-- whew, tense. 372 00:15:43,602 --> 00:15:44,869 Yeah. 373 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:47,038 You know what's really crazy, though? 374 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,439 Hmm? 375 00:15:48,473 --> 00:15:49,674 I've been working here for about a year, 376 00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:52,143 and I've never even seen Mr. Mahina. 377 00:15:52,177 --> 00:15:54,011 Well, see, now that's-- that's an easy one to answer. 378 00:15:54,046 --> 00:15:55,947 That's because he comes in before you come into work, 379 00:15:55,981 --> 00:15:57,248 and he's still working when you leave. 380 00:15:57,283 --> 00:15:58,316 That's-- That's what makes him Mr. Mahina. 381 00:15:58,351 --> 00:15:59,584 You know, come on. 382 00:15:59,619 --> 00:16:01,319 We're talking about Mr. Mahina here, right? 383 00:16:01,354 --> 00:16:02,554 It makes perfect sense. 384 00:16:02,588 --> 00:16:04,622 - You know, I bet... - Mm-hmm. 385 00:16:04,656 --> 00:16:05,990 the hardworking boss 386 00:16:06,024 --> 00:16:09,560 would love to meet a hardworking employee, 387 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,462 uou know, who shares the same values, 388 00:16:11,496 --> 00:16:14,698 so I'm gonna go ahead and just introduce myself-- 389 00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:16,500 No, no! Uh-- 390 00:16:16,534 --> 00:16:17,935 You can't go into Mr. Mahina's room. 391 00:16:17,969 --> 00:16:19,036 Are you crazy? 392 00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:20,070 No one except me is allowed to go in there. 393 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,339 Mr. Mahina is busy! 394 00:16:24,309 --> 00:16:27,578 Okay, fine. You made your point clear, man. 395 00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:28,979 Thank you very much, Jake. I think it's best-- 396 00:16:29,014 --> 00:16:31,114 - And what-- - Wait, no, Jake! Wait, Jake! 397 00:16:31,148 --> 00:16:33,650 I can't-- 398 00:16:36,465 --> 00:16:39,000 Come on, man. 399 00:16:39,656 --> 00:16:44,560 What? Question my existence, will you? 400 00:16:48,434 --> 00:16:51,515 ...bucket creature? 401 00:16:51,565 --> 00:16:52,790 Listen to me. The people... 402 00:16:52,839 --> 00:16:54,953 I'll have the end of the year report to you by 10. 403 00:17:01,783 --> 00:17:03,484 Freeze! Police. 404 00:17:03,519 --> 00:17:06,588 Hands up. 405 00:17:06,622 --> 00:17:09,691 Turn around slowly. 406 00:17:14,130 --> 00:17:16,164 Okay, buddy. 407 00:17:16,198 --> 00:17:19,234 Do not move a muscle. 408 00:17:23,673 --> 00:17:24,707 Up! Up! 409 00:17:24,741 --> 00:17:25,708 Get your hands back up. 410 00:17:25,743 --> 00:17:27,410 No, raise them. 411 00:17:27,444 --> 00:17:29,645 Up, hands up, now! 412 00:17:31,782 --> 00:17:33,583 No, no m-- Stop! 413 00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:34,751 I said no moving. 414 00:17:34,785 --> 00:17:37,019 Put your foot down. 415 00:17:38,222 --> 00:17:39,355 That's good. 416 00:17:39,390 --> 00:17:40,757 Now, easy does it. No! 417 00:17:40,791 --> 00:17:42,091 Don't pick your other foot up! 418 00:17:42,126 --> 00:17:44,461 Put that down. Put your foot down! 419 00:17:44,495 --> 00:17:47,230 Put your foot down. There we go. 420 00:17:47,265 --> 00:17:48,632 No, do not pick the other one up. 421 00:17:48,666 --> 00:17:50,400 Put that one down. 422 00:17:50,435 --> 00:17:52,202 Put your foot down. No, not-- 423 00:17:52,236 --> 00:17:53,504 Put them both down at the sa-- Okay. 424 00:17:53,538 --> 00:17:56,039 Now you're just walking. Stop walking! 425 00:17:56,074 --> 00:17:57,374 Now! 426 00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:58,776 St-- No walking! 427 00:17:58,810 --> 00:18:01,212 I want you to stop walking right now. 428 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:02,246 Do not get near that car. 429 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,280 Wait, get away from it. 430 00:18:03,315 --> 00:18:04,915 No, don't go near that car. 431 00:18:04,949 --> 00:18:06,049 Don't open that door! 432 00:18:06,084 --> 00:18:07,651 Do not open that door! 433 00:18:07,685 --> 00:18:08,851 Don't open it. 434 00:18:08,886 --> 00:18:10,386 Do not open the car door! 435 00:18:10,421 --> 00:18:12,088 Don't you open that door. 436 00:18:12,122 --> 00:18:14,423 Don't! Do not get in that car. 437 00:18:14,458 --> 00:18:16,292 Freeze! 438 00:18:16,326 --> 00:18:17,493 Your butt better not hit that seat. 439 00:18:17,528 --> 00:18:18,962 The-- Okay. 440 00:18:18,996 --> 00:18:20,296 Stay-- Do-- Get-- Get out of there. 441 00:18:20,331 --> 00:18:23,133 Get out of the car right now. No, you don't. 442 00:18:23,167 --> 00:18:26,302 Don't you dare reach for that glove compartment. 443 00:18:26,337 --> 00:18:28,104 Don't reach for that glove compartment! 444 00:18:28,139 --> 00:18:30,073 Get away from the glove compartment! 445 00:18:30,107 --> 00:18:31,508 Get your hand away from the glove compartment! 446 00:18:31,542 --> 00:18:33,109 Don't you open it! 447 00:18:33,144 --> 00:18:34,644 Do not grab that gun! 448 00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:37,113 Whatever you do, dude, you better not grab that gun. 449 00:18:37,147 --> 00:18:39,148 You better not grab that gun. 450 00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:42,085 Do not pull that gun on me. 451 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:43,854 Put that down! 452 00:18:43,888 --> 00:18:44,922 Don't you pull that gun on me. 453 00:18:44,956 --> 00:18:46,290 No, hey. Put that down. 454 00:18:46,324 --> 00:18:49,193 Don't do it! 455 00:18:49,227 --> 00:18:52,496 Damn it! God damn it! 456 00:19:01,172 --> 00:19:03,773 Damn it. Not again. 457 00:19:12,356 --> 00:19:14,356 - Hey. - Hey. 458 00:19:14,405 --> 00:19:15,596 Hey. How you doing? How you doing? 459 00:19:15,645 --> 00:19:17,122 Hey. What's going on? How you doing? 460 00:19:17,155 --> 00:19:18,312 How you doing? 461 00:19:18,345 --> 00:19:20,345 You look off. Come on. Go ahead. 462 00:19:20,728 --> 00:19:22,728 Oh. Come on. Will you? Hey hey. Come on! 463 00:19:22,856 --> 00:19:26,318 No. Don't. Stop it. Stop it. 464 00:19:26,370 --> 00:19:28,370 - That's fun. - That's fun. I like it. 465 00:19:34,793 --> 00:19:36,321 You big. You big. 466 00:19:42,914 --> 00:19:44,598 - I know you. - How are you? 467 00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:46,344 I don't think I like you. I don't think-- 468 00:19:46,870 --> 00:19:47,923 - No. No. - No! 469 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,102 Hey. What ya eating? What ya eating? 470 00:19:53,170 --> 00:19:55,376 Get the [bleep] away from me! 471 00:19:55,415 --> 00:19:57,415 - Oh, but that's food. - [bleep] off! 472 00:19:57,415 --> 00:19:58,845 - That's food, though. - [bleep] off. 473 00:19:58,979 --> 00:19:59,910 Damn. 474 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,722 I like that. I like the way you look. 475 00:20:04,816 --> 00:20:06,816 You look good to me. 476 00:20:08,937 --> 00:20:11,455 - You were doing. Sorry. - That's okay. It happens. 477 00:20:19,679 --> 00:20:21,379 - Hey, what's up there? - What's up? There's some-- 478 00:20:21,422 --> 00:20:22,344 - Is there something up there? - Yes. 479 00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:23,211 - Is it up there? - Yes. 480 00:20:23,262 --> 00:20:25,157 - Hey. Come here. You up there. - I want to eat you in my mouth. 481 00:20:25,272 --> 00:20:26,676 - You up there. - I want to eat you in my mouth. 482 00:20:26,707 --> 00:20:28,211 No, no. Get away, get away. 483 00:20:28,219 --> 00:20:30,703 I wanna be there. I wanna be there. 484 00:20:30,789 --> 00:20:32,265 - I see you. - Come down. 485 00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:33,381 Come here. 486 00:20:34,621 --> 00:20:36,396 And it's been a wonderful season. 487 00:20:36,576 --> 00:20:39,321 And you have been a wonderful crowd. And thank you so much. 488 00:20:39,479 --> 00:20:41,675 Hmm. We appreciate your passion. 489 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,540 We appreciate you guys watching the show and being fans. 490 00:20:44,630 --> 00:20:46,844 Because, without you, we do not have a show. 491 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:49,322 - You know what I wanna do? - I know what you wanna do. 492 00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:53,018 - I want to put the... - pussy on the chain wax. 493 00:20:53,106 --> 00:20:54,886 Yeah! 494 00:20:57,140 --> 00:21:00,254 ♪ I'm gonna do my one line here ♪ 495 00:21:00,447 --> 00:21:02,089 Oh, yeah. 35217

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