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1
00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:04,348
- Dennis, do you have the tickets?
- Yes, affirmative.
2
00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:06,149
I got the tickets online,
and I got the last ones.
3
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,834
Charlie, you got booze?
Tell me what you think.
4
00:00:07,858 --> 00:00:09,820
I think that's
enough booze to last
the whole movie, right?
5
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:11,020
Yes.
We're good.
6
00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:12,889
Dee, time?
Uh, we have
just about a half hour.
7
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:15,892
Precisely, you bitch!
I need to know precisely.
28 minutes! I'm sorry.
8
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:18,099
Oh, the city is like a zoo.
9
00:00:18,168 --> 00:00:20,301
I mean, traffic jam
like you wouldn't believe.
10
00:00:20,370 --> 00:00:22,037
Obama's got
the whole thing congested.
11
00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:23,621
Oh, goddamn it, Mac.
12
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,769
I told you there was
gonna be traffic, dude.
I forgot about Obama!
13
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:28,354
We still have time.
We still have time.
14
00:00:28,378 --> 00:00:30,390
No, but, dude,
traffic's gonna
jam us up, man.
15
00:00:30,414 --> 00:00:32,091
No, no, no.
We can make it, okay?
16
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,016
Time for what?
Where are you going?
17
00:00:34,084 --> 00:00:36,813
We're gonna go see
Thundergun Express, man.
You know what I'm talking about.
18
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:39,015
- What the shit
is a thunder gun?
- Are you crazy?
19
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,750
Dude, it's like
the greatest movie
ever made.
20
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:43,853
It's about this warrior
from a postapocalyptic
underground society...
21
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:47,746
who has to travel back
in time to save his lover
from an evil robot army.
22
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:51,132
- Ooh.
- "No hesitation. No surrender."
23
00:00:51,201 --> 00:00:52,311
No man left behind!
24
00:00:52,335 --> 00:00:54,219
It's like the biggest movie
in America.
25
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,254
Whoa, that sounds the tits.
I'm in.
26
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:58,001
No.
How? How?
27
00:00:58,025 --> 00:00:59,752
You do not have
a ticket.
Yeah.
28
00:00:59,776 --> 00:01:02,410
- You didn't buy me a ticket?
- I'm sorry.
What am I, your daddy?
29
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,290
Yeah, I don't just
buy tickets for people.
Yeah.
30
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,376
Well, I'll tell you what.
I'll take Deandra's ticket.
31
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,966
You don't like action movies.
32
00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:10,913
Oh, no, no, no, Frank.
This is just as much
a love story as anything else.
33
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:13,733
Plus, I hear the guy hangs dong,
and I'm very interested
in seeing that.
34
00:01:13,757 --> 00:01:15,501
Me too.
Yeah, he hangs dong.
35
00:01:15,525 --> 00:01:16,975
What the hell am I gonna do?
36
00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:19,322
Get out of the way,
'cause we gotta go.
Yeah. Clock's ticking.
37
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:21,091
Go! Let's go.
38
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,235
Thundergun!
39
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,957
This blows, dude!
Drive faster.
40
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,092
Drive faster?
Where would you like
for me to go?
41
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,761
I'm surrounded by cars, Charlie.
42
00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,330
It's all these
goddamn immigrants
come in to see Obama.
43
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:02,932
And none of them
have any insurance.
That's why they drive so slow.
44
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,101
Why are you even here?
The movie is sold out.
45
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,625
I'm gonna scalp a ticket.
46
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:08,760
Oh, shit!
47
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:12,063
I didn't bring my wallet.
You guys gotta
spot me some dough.
48
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,476
I ain't giving you shit.
49
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,334
All right, I'll sneak in.
I sneak in all the time.
50
00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:18,731
I hope we get there
in time to sit together.
I don't like to split up.
51
00:02:18,755 --> 00:02:20,517
Don't worry about it.
If we get split up,
52
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,151
we'll just yell over
everybody to each other...
53
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:23,853
until they get annoyed
with us and switch.
54
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:26,261
We can call in a bomb threat.
That would delay the picture.
55
00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:28,858
That would be very Thundergun.
We're gonna have
to do something drastic...
56
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,949
if Dennis doesn't figure out
a way to drive faster.
57
00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:32,729
Where would you like
for me to drive?
58
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:35,815
He misses all of his angles.
You could slide
in front of that Prius.
59
00:02:35,839 --> 00:02:39,124
So then I'll be stuck
in front of the Prius instead
of right next to the Prius.
60
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:41,153
It's a bigger problem
than that, guys.
He's slow at everything.
61
00:02:41,177 --> 00:02:43,155
You should see how long
it takes him
to bang chicks.
62
00:02:43,179 --> 00:02:44,974
Mac, that's because
you always try
and barge in...
63
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,542
so you can see the chicks naked.
64
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,194
Then I have
to start the process
all over again.
65
00:02:48,218 --> 00:02:51,064
But you waste so much time
talking to them
when you should be plowing them.
66
00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:52,932
No, you don't get it.
You don't get what I'm...
67
00:02:52,956 --> 00:02:55,135
Look, I'm forging
a connection
with these women...
68
00:02:55,159 --> 00:02:57,203
that will yield for them
the most awakening...
69
00:02:57,227 --> 00:02:59,556
and unforgettable
sexual experience
of their lives.
70
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,108
Whatever!
I don't care about any of this.
We're gonna miss the movie!
71
00:03:02,132 --> 00:03:04,010
Yeah, come on.
Hey, Thundergun it
up on the curb.
72
00:03:04,034 --> 00:03:06,245
Thundergun it all the way down.
73
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:08,231
Thundergun's not a verb.
Stop using it as a verb.
74
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:09,899
There's nothing I can do.
It's the man's name.
75
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,484
Just calm down.
We'll get there.
76
00:03:11,508 --> 00:03:13,870
I'll tell you one thing.
I could walk faster
than we're moving.
77
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,534
Right?
Please.
78
00:03:18,381 --> 00:03:19,881
What are you guys doing?
79
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:23,018
Oh, oh, wait! Get back here,
you sons of bitches!
80
00:03:23,086 --> 00:03:25,370
Thundergun leaves no man behind!
81
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:28,390
We'll come back for you!
82
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,618
- Are you kidding me?
- Come on!
83
00:03:37,734 --> 00:03:39,934
Damn.
Shit.
84
00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:42,870
All the streets are blocked.
Hey, let's ask this cop.
85
00:03:42,939 --> 00:03:44,722
Excuse me, Officer.
86
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,719
Uh, we need to get through.
I can't help you.
87
00:03:46,743 --> 00:03:48,454
The street's closed down
all the way to Spring.
88
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,807
Yeah, but this is an emergency.
It's not my problem.
You gotta go around.
89
00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:53,109
We really gotta...
90
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,677
All right, we gotta find
a new point of entry.
91
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:56,078
Attack the target
from a different angle.
92
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:58,298
Whoa! Hold on.
What are you talking
about attacking?
93
00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:00,372
No, no, no.
We're not terrorists
or anything.
94
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,960
We're just...
We're trying to get to a movie,
Thundergun Express.
95
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:04,842
Oh, Thundergun Express, huh?
96
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,611
You better get going.
97
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,408
You don't want to miss
one second of that movie.
98
00:04:08,432 --> 00:04:11,633
- Is it that good?
- It's the best goddamn movie
I ever seen in my life.
99
00:04:11,702 --> 00:04:14,118
Dude hangs dong.
100
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:15,520
Oh!
I told them that!
101
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,333
I told them!
I don't want
to miss that!
102
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:19,774
Maybe we take a cab.
What about that?
103
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:22,643
A cab? Dee, don't be a fool!
We'll never get a cab
out here.
104
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,390
Plus, we'll
just sit in traffic
like everybody else.
105
00:04:24,414 --> 00:04:25,975
Yeah, we'll be stuck
like Dennis.
106
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,082
The trolley!
107
00:04:28,151 --> 00:04:29,818
Trolley.
We can make it, Frank.
Come on!
108
00:04:29,887 --> 00:04:32,120
Yes.
No surrender, baby!
109
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:33,705
Come on!
110
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,074
Come on, Frank.
I'm coming.
111
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,425
You can make it.
I'm coming.
112
00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:39,928
No, no, no, no, no!
I'm not gonna make it.
113
00:04:39,996 --> 00:04:41,496
No, hop off!
114
00:04:41,565 --> 00:04:43,614
Hop... Don't leave me here!
115
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:47,068
We'll come back for you!
116
00:04:47,137 --> 00:04:49,304
You bastards!
117
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,166
"Take too long.
You take too long, Dennis."
118
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:04,635
Look, screw you, Mac.
I don't take that long.
119
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,306
I'll show you
who takes too long.
120
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,958
Son of a bitch.
Let's see.
121
00:05:10,027 --> 00:05:11,759
We got Amanda.
We got Brenda.
122
00:05:11,828 --> 00:05:13,361
Ah! Allison.
123
00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:17,181
Let's find out
if Allison thought
that I took too long.
124
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,161
It's too bad the museum
is closed on Wednesdays.
125
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:20,685
I know.
126
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:23,234
I guess we canhang out here and getto know each other instead.
127
00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:25,301
This is a good one.
128
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,893
What's with all the locks?
129
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,662
I want you to feel safe.
130
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,445
So your father took off
when you were pretty young, huh?
131
00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,180
- That must have been difficult.
- Yeah...
132
00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:41,839
Yeah, I could probably
speed things up
a little bit.
133
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,092
Thanks very much.
Careful now.
134
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:52,500
There you go.
Watch your step, ladies.
Very good. Thank you.
135
00:05:52,568 --> 00:05:54,447
Hey, guy, can you...
can you take me
up the river?
136
00:05:54,471 --> 00:05:56,715
I gotta get a mile
up the river.
Tour is $15.
137
00:05:56,739 --> 00:05:59,991
I left my wallet at home.
I only got a quarter
to my name.
138
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,421
Look, I can't help you, pal.
All right, folks.
139
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,285
Everybody, take your seats.
I'll be right back.
140
00:06:04,314 --> 00:06:05,981
We'll get this tour under way,
okay?
141
00:06:06,049 --> 00:06:08,094
I swear,
I'll take care of you
when I get up there.
142
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,618
Sorry, dude.
143
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:15,590
Hi. I'm your new captain,
Frank.
144
00:06:15,659 --> 00:06:18,287
I'm gonna take you
up the river.
Okay? Here we go.
145
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,561
What happened to Captain Tom?
146
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:24,148
Uh, Captain Tom turned out
to be a goddamn junkie.
147
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:26,312
- Hang on.
- Oh!
148
00:06:26,336 --> 00:06:28,003
Whoo!
149
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,993
You're...
you're going too fast.
Huh?
150
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,462
Too fast.
It's the fast tour.
151
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,865
It's the quick one.
152
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:42,379
Quick tour.
153
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:44,636
Why aren't you telling us
what anything is?
154
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,905
Like what?
155
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:49,123
Wh-What is that building
over there?
156
00:06:49,192 --> 00:06:51,459
Uh, that's a big building.
157
00:06:51,528 --> 00:06:53,690
It's a brick building...
Red brick building.
158
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:56,793
I don't know
what the hell it is.
It's a old building.
159
00:06:59,369 --> 00:07:02,219
Can you please use microphone?
Very difficult for people
to hear in back.
160
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:04,522
Oh. Oh, the microphone.
Okay?
161
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,123
Okay.
162
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:07,737
All right.
163
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,305
You hear that?
Yeah.
164
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:11,729
Okay. Well, we're on
the Schuylkill River,
165
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:17,001
and, uh,
it's home to many, uh,
weird fishlike creatures.
166
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:20,037
And also the depository of, uh,
167
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:24,943
all of the unsolved crimes
and murders in Philadelphia.
168
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,122
Yeah.
169
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,727
That trolley kicked ass.
170
00:07:48,751 --> 00:07:50,696
We're just like a couple blocks
from the theater, I think.
171
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,999
Thundergun himself would have
been proud of that move.
172
00:07:53,023 --> 00:07:55,823
Of course he'd be proud.
We didn't hesitate.
We didn't surrender.
173
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,603
We did leave
a couple men
behind though.
174
00:07:57,627 --> 00:07:59,738
That's true.
But we didn't hesitate
to leave those men behind.
175
00:07:59,762 --> 00:08:02,263
Yeah. Plus, I hung dong
on the trolley.
You guys missed that.
176
00:08:02,332 --> 00:08:04,243
I didn't miss it.
I chose to ignore it.
177
00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:06,512
I saw it.
Looked like a button
in a fur coat.
178
00:08:06,536 --> 00:08:08,436
Either way,
it was totally Thundergun.
179
00:08:08,504 --> 00:08:10,883
If Thundergun's dong looks
like that, we should all
get our money back.
180
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,351
Yeah, I'm walking
out of the movie.
181
00:08:12,375 --> 00:08:14,020
It was more of a ding
than a dong, really.
182
00:08:14,044 --> 00:08:16,255
I got a lot of "good ones"
and thumbs up and...
183
00:08:16,279 --> 00:08:17,778
Aw.
Goddamn it.
184
00:08:17,847 --> 00:08:19,713
Another closure.
All right, think. Think.
185
00:08:19,782 --> 00:08:22,066
What would Thundergun do
right now?
186
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,895
Oh, shit. Okay, listen.
Hear me out.
187
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,783
Let's fire down that sewer.
Frank and I do it
all the time.
188
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,886
I know my way around.
We'll be over there
in a jiff.
189
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,893
Uh, I don't know.
190
00:08:31,962 --> 00:08:33,745
Sewer, huh?
All right, let's do it.
191
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,624
We've come this far, right?
Right?
192
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:37,193
No, no, no.
Our clothes will get
soaking wet.
193
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,818
- It's gonna ruin
the whole movie.
- Ooh. I know what it is.
194
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:42,881
He's scared he's gonna be
too fat to fit down that gutter.
That is what it is.
195
00:08:42,905 --> 00:08:44,583
No, it isn't.
It has nothing to do with it.
196
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,040
Sewers are disgusting,
that's why.
197
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:48,604
Your big fat body
is what's disgusting.
And you're embarrassed.
198
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:50,578
We are not going in the sewer,
and that is final.
199
00:08:50,647 --> 00:08:52,742
Oh. Oh, yeah?
Aww.
200
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,882
Aww.
No, guys. Guys.
201
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:57,402
Guys, come on. Don't...
Goddamn it.
202
00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,949
I'm coming through, guys.
203
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,218
Here I come.
Here I come.
204
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,569
Oh, wait.
205
00:09:03,593 --> 00:09:05,092
Oh. You know what?
206
00:09:05,162 --> 00:09:08,274
It turns out
I am... I am too muscular,
and I can't fit through.
207
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:12,934
- Looks like you're stuck, huh?
- Yeah, So my-my muscles
stop me from gaining access.
208
00:09:13,003 --> 00:09:14,552
Sorry, Mac.
209
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:16,149
Why don't you guys
come out, and then...
210
00:09:16,173 --> 00:09:17,433
We'll come back for you.
Yeah.
211
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:19,485
That's what I told Dennis
and Frank, and I was lying.
212
00:09:19,509 --> 00:09:22,426
I know. So are we!
213
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:25,346
You sons of bitches!
214
00:09:25,415 --> 00:09:27,482
Oh, you sons of bitches!
215
00:09:27,550 --> 00:09:29,217
You sons of...
216
00:09:29,286 --> 00:09:32,487
Out of the way,
you fat dickhead.
217
00:09:32,555 --> 00:09:35,273
All right, think.
Think. Think.
218
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:36,842
Think.
219
00:09:39,863 --> 00:09:42,864
No surrender.
No surrender!
220
00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:57,395
Shitty bike.
221
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,606
You seem cold.
222
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:11,376
Perhaps you'd be more
comfortable under the covers.
223
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,944
Now, we're talkin'.
Okay, Allison. All right.
224
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:15,846
Hey, hey, guys.
225
00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:17,415
What are you do...
226
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,884
Mac, can we help you?
Goddamn Mac.
227
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:21,497
I thought
I heard you call my name.
228
00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:22,831
I did not call your name.
229
00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:24,188
Oh, okay.
230
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,990
I'll be right outside
if you need anything.
231
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:27,770
We're not gonna
need anything, okay?
232
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,554
If fact, go ahead
and leave the keys in here.
233
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:32,508
Now I have to re-demonstrate
my value, so that's gonna
increase the time.
234
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,415
I think I need
to be getting home.
235
00:10:34,484 --> 00:10:36,217
My mom is gonna start to worry.
236
00:10:36,286 --> 00:10:38,920
Wait. Your mom?
How old are you?
237
00:10:38,988 --> 00:10:41,222
- Sixteen.
- Sixteen?
238
00:10:41,291 --> 00:10:43,035
No get...
Whoa, shit.
That's not good.
239
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,521
Why do I still have this tape?
That's ridiculous.
240
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,440
Oh!
241
00:10:49,365 --> 00:10:51,299
Goddamn it.
242
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:52,867
Shit!
243
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:05,212
Well, now, this
is an interesting development.
244
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:17,020
I gotta say, Charlie,
this sewer
is pretty gross,
245
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:19,288
but it's not nearly
as gross as I thought
it was gonna be.
246
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,212
No, it's not bad now,
but like any minute,
247
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,848
a wall of water could
just come gushing through here.
248
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,584
So we should keep moving.
Wait. Wall of water?
249
00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:28,319
Yeah. Well, you know,
it's not just water.
250
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,488
It's like dog shit
and street sludge.
251
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:33,424
You know, they divert it
to different channels
throughout the day.
252
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,471
Oh, my God.
You know, it's... it's sewage.
It's sewage.
253
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,735
Yeah.
Oh, you know what, Dee?
Dee?
254
00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:39,980
Can we get naked really quick?
255
00:11:41,151 --> 00:11:43,568
No.
Oh, right.
Do you mind if I do?
256
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,636
Mm-hmm.
Well, see the thing is,
257
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:48,006
like, if a wall of water
comes through,
258
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:49,807
it's actually pretty sweet
to be naked,
259
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,576
'cause then
you can hold your clothes up.
260
00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:54,189
You know, and then
that piss and shit
just kind of flows over you.
261
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,791
Mm-hmm.
It's more refreshing
than you think.
262
00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:57,849
And then you have
dry clothes afterwards.
263
00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:01,685
It's a lot better than having
the sewage on your clothes.
264
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,594
I understand
and I'm a little relieved,
265
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:05,184
but it's still not
good enough for me,
266
00:12:05,208 --> 00:12:06,769
so I'm going
to keep my clothes on.
267
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,287
Oh, look at Queen Dee,
who's too good...
268
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,006
to get naked with her buddy
all of a sudden.
269
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,275
Okay, I don't...
Why are you making it
about that? I just...
270
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:14,743
You know what?
This is a preposterous
conversation we're having.
271
00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:16,450
This is
a functional conversation.
272
00:12:16,519 --> 00:12:18,747
This is a preposterous
conversation.
This is not a sexual thing.
273
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,349
Let's just go.
Let's just go.
274
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,318
There's no walls of water.
Oh! Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
275
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,975
Shit. My shoe's stuck.
276
00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:25,243
Well, pull it out.
277
00:12:25,295 --> 00:12:27,578
If I could pull it out,
would it be stuck?
278
00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:29,608
Take your shoe off.
I'm not gonna
take my shoe off...
279
00:12:29,632 --> 00:12:31,799
and walk around barefoot
in this disgusting sewer.
280
00:12:31,868 --> 00:12:34,397
Oh, the queen again,
everyone.
The queen speaks.
281
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,131
Shut up.
Charlie, we don't
have time for this.
282
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:39,018
I have an idea though.
Why don't you take your shoes
off and give them to me?
283
00:12:39,042 --> 00:12:41,119
No, you'll stretch mine out.
No, come on, Charlie.
284
00:12:41,143 --> 00:12:42,854
You were fine
taking all your clothes off...
285
00:12:42,878 --> 00:12:46,447
and walking around
in this gross place.
Dee, you'll stretch them out.
286
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,733
All right, Charlie,
stop screwing around, okay?
287
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:51,185
We're gonna miss the movie.
No, we're...
288
00:12:52,756 --> 00:12:54,222
You're right.
289
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:56,174
Wh-Where are you going?
What are you doing?
290
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:57,942
- I'll come back for you.
- No. No.
291
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,638
I'll come back for you.
Don't you do that.
292
00:12:59,662 --> 00:13:01,995
Don't you...
Charlie, get back here
right now!
293
00:13:02,064 --> 00:13:03,798
Goddamn it!
Oh, goddamn it!
294
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,450
Aw, man! Come on. Come on.
295
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,502
Come on!
296
00:13:08,572 --> 00:13:10,071
What was that?
297
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,507
What was that?
Charlie?
298
00:13:13,576 --> 00:13:15,626
Is that the wall of water?
299
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:18,224
No, Charlie.
Charlie, I hear
the wall of water!
300
00:13:18,248 --> 00:13:19,781
Come back for me!
301
00:13:19,849 --> 00:13:22,500
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Come on. Come on!
302
00:13:24,019 --> 00:13:26,304
Oh, shit!
303
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,449
So they'll send a tow truck
and everything?
304
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:41,196
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't worry about that.
Tow truck is on its way.
305
00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:43,554
See you were born 1985.
Sí.
306
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:46,268
Yeah. So everything
checks out there.
Beautiful.
307
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:49,377
Oh, it's so cool
that you own a chain
of auto-body repair shops.
308
00:13:49,446 --> 00:13:51,112
I wish I new how to fix cars.
309
00:13:51,180 --> 00:13:54,482
Oh, yeah, auto-body repair
has always been a bit
of a passion of mine.
310
00:13:54,551 --> 00:13:57,885
I also invented Facebook
with the Winklevoss twins.
Really?
311
00:13:57,954 --> 00:13:59,648
Yeah, yeah.
Zuckerberg didn't do shit.
312
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,200
Yeah, he really
screwed us on that one.
313
00:14:01,224 --> 00:14:03,001
But I got some hush money,
so it's all good.
314
00:14:03,025 --> 00:14:05,543
It's all good.
315
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:08,507
But, uh, I don't want
to waste any more time
here, so...
316
00:14:08,531 --> 00:14:10,431
No man left behind!
317
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,344
Goddamn it, Mac.
318
00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:14,447
What the hell
are you doing here?
319
00:14:14,471 --> 00:14:17,505
I came back for you
like I said I would,
like Thundergun does.
320
00:14:17,574 --> 00:14:19,857
- Who's the brown girl?
- Uh, Elena.
321
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:21,554
We got into a bit
of a fender bender.
322
00:14:21,578 --> 00:14:24,022
She was on her way
to see Thundergun too.
What are the odds of that?
323
00:14:24,046 --> 00:14:26,180
I seen it twice already.
Oh, it's amazing.
324
00:14:26,248 --> 00:14:28,026
What's with the helmet, bro?
325
00:14:28,050 --> 00:14:30,184
Pretty cool, huh?
Ay, está bonito.
326
00:14:30,252 --> 00:14:32,431
Dude, the helmet
is sweet as shit.
It's very Thundergun.
327
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,655
Yeah. I'm going to wear it
during the movie.
328
00:14:34,724 --> 00:14:37,102
Looks like traffic
is clearing up, huh?
Yeah, it does.
329
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,110
All right. Punch it.
330
00:14:41,764 --> 00:14:44,699
Uh, Charlie and I,
we go down the sewer.
331
00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:49,069
And first thing we do is,
to preserve our clothes,
we take... take our clothes off.
332
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:51,383
We get totally naked
because you don't want
to get wet.
333
00:14:51,407 --> 00:14:52,923
We ball our clothes up.
334
00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:54,592
We stick them up someplace high.
335
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:56,794
There's this waitress
who Charlie's in love with,
336
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,930
and, uh, I banged her.
337
00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:01,358
Charlie got really upset
when I banged the waitress.
338
00:15:01,417 --> 00:15:04,118
Uh, but it was a lot of fun.
She was a nice piece of ass.
339
00:15:04,187 --> 00:15:06,015
We don't know
who you're talking about.
340
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:09,574
Charlie. He's my buddy.
We sleep together.
We hang out together.
341
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:13,344
Once I pooped in the bed.
I blamed it on him.
342
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,546
One time the guys
got hooked on crack.
343
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,648
It was really crazy.
344
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,733
Well, they found a baby
in a Dumpster.
345
00:15:19,802 --> 00:15:21,680
They wanted
to make some money
with the baby,
346
00:15:21,704 --> 00:15:24,182
but nobody
would buy the baby
because it was white.
347
00:15:24,206 --> 00:15:26,057
So they had to turn it brown.
348
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,741
We were fighting over the sword.
349
00:15:27,810 --> 00:15:30,895
And just about when we were
about to hit each other
with the sword,
350
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,613
Social Services came in.
351
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,593
Thought we were
killing the baby.
352
00:15:34,617 --> 00:15:36,434
I-I don't understand this tour.
353
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,485
Charlie wrote this musical.
354
00:15:38,555 --> 00:15:40,220
Oh, man, it was really funny.
355
00:15:40,289 --> 00:15:42,122
I played a troll on the musical.
356
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,886
A troll?
Yeah.
357
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,843
And it's called
The Nightman Cometh.
358
00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:48,946
I could sing you my song,
if you like.
359
00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:52,900
You gotta...
You gotta pay the troll toll
to get into this boy's hole.
360
00:15:57,673 --> 00:16:03,377
I was saying "soul."
He thought I was saying
"boy's hole."
361
00:16:03,446 --> 00:16:07,148
One of the things
I like doing most
is banging whores.
362
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:10,417
I, uh... I go out
and bang a lot of whores.
363
00:16:12,588 --> 00:16:14,388
Yeah.
364
00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:18,325
Listen. Here's the thing.
365
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,989
I'm going to have
to jump off here.
366
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:23,196
So you guys enjoy
the rest of the tour
on your own, okay?
367
00:16:23,265 --> 00:16:25,466
How are we supposed
to get back to our tour bus?
368
00:16:25,535 --> 00:16:27,935
That's your problem.
Welcome to Philly.
369
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,526
No hesitation.
Nah, no surrender.
370
00:16:35,594 --> 00:16:38,095
No hesitation.
No surrender.
371
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,564
No surrender.
No surrender.
372
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,278
No surren...
373
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:45,285
Oh, shit.
374
00:16:46,155 --> 00:16:47,672
I surrender.
375
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:52,826
Coming soon
to a theater near you.
376
00:16:52,895 --> 00:16:55,640
All right. Okay,
there's a nice
way to do that.
377
00:16:55,664 --> 00:16:57,209
There's a nice way to do that.
378
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:58,765
From the director
that brought you...
379
00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:01,085
Ooh! Aaah! That's tart.
380
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,820
This seat taken right here?
381
00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:06,307
Charlie, you made it.
Hey!
382
00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:08,904
What's up, Mac?
I got a seat
right in the middle, bro.
383
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,723
- Aw, dude, that's
an awesome helmet, man.
- Thanks, dude.
384
00:17:11,747 --> 00:17:13,959
- Yo, where's Dee?
- Uh, she couldn't
make it, bro.
385
00:17:13,983 --> 00:17:16,100
Wasn't Thundergun enough.
How about Dennis?
386
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:19,336
Oh, yeah, he's here.
He's Thundergunning
some Mexican chick in the back.
387
00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:21,867
Nice! So he's moving
a lot faster
than usual, huh?
388
00:17:21,891 --> 00:17:24,136
- I think he's getting
a hand job.
- Oh, I am.
389
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:27,511
A hand job.
Hey, can you guys,
uh, maybe be quiet?
390
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:30,075
Why don't you
switch seats with us
if it's bothering you so much?
391
00:17:30,099 --> 00:17:31,944
Just switch seats,
you know what I mean?
Just switch seats.
392
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,078
Yeah, okay.
That's better.
393
00:17:33,102 --> 00:17:35,981
- All right.
- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
394
00:17:36,005 --> 00:17:38,205
Dude.
395
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:39,874
Squeeze in. Squeeze...
396
00:17:39,943 --> 00:17:42,405
- Oh! Hey, Dee, you made it.
- Yeah, you bet your ass
I made it.
397
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,472
- Charlie, my clothes are dry.
- You held them over your head?
398
00:17:44,496 --> 00:17:46,742
Held them over my head.
I told you that water wall
was coming.
399
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:49,228
Excuse me, miss,
but your stench
is unbearable.
400
00:17:49,252 --> 00:17:50,462
It's bad, isn't it?
Yes.
401
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:51,985
That's shit in my hair,
that's why.
402
00:17:52,054 --> 00:17:54,266
If you switch seats,
I can be closer
to those guys and you...
403
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:55,806
Babe, let's get outta here.
404
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:57,453
You won't smell as much...
Excuse me.
405
00:17:57,477 --> 00:18:00,389
- And then you won't hear all the talking and...
- Don't touch me.
406
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,447
Congratulations.
This is a much better seat.
407
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:05,394
So the water wall
came, huh?
Yeah, it came with a vengeance.
408
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,162
Dennis is getting a hand job
in the back.
Seriously?
409
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:08,731
Yeah.
Oh, congratulations.
410
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,299
Well, we're all here.
411
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:12,443
Except Frank.
I wonder where Frank is.
412
00:18:13,142 --> 00:18:15,320
Okay, you got
one phone call.
Make it quick.
413
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:16,844
Thank you, ma'am.
414
00:18:26,088 --> 00:18:28,433
This is 911.
What is your emergency?
415
00:18:28,457 --> 00:18:32,243
I'd like to report
a bomb threat.
416
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,707
That does not qualify
as being...
Would you shut up?
417
00:18:34,731 --> 00:18:36,809
The movie's about to start.
Can you shut up?
418
00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:38,544
Switch with us
if you're getting so upset.
419
00:18:38,568 --> 00:18:40,178
Fine.
Yeah, why don't you
go up there and then...
420
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,363
We're having
a Thundergun-based
conversation.
421
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:42,998
She has a bad attitude.
Talk about shutting up.
422
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:44,316
Dennis, you're gonna
like these seats.
423
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:47,052
At a certain point,
it's your fault
for not moving.
424
00:18:47,076 --> 00:18:47,775
All right.
425
00:18:47,843 --> 00:18:49,526
This is Elena, everybody.
426
00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:51,373
Oh!
It's starting.
It's starting.
427
00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:53,346
This is going to be badass!
428
00:18:53,415 --> 00:18:55,432
♪♪
429
00:18:59,438 --> 00:19:01,138
♪♪
430
00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:02,884
What's going on?
431
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:05,909
Folks, please don't panic,
but we've received
a bomb threat.
432
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:09,363
We ask that you remain calm
and exit the theater
in an orderly fashion.
433
00:19:09,432 --> 00:19:11,081
Aw.
434
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,283
Bomb threat?
No.
435
00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:15,319
Bomb threat?
Oh, shit.
436
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:17,221
Goddamn it, Frank.
437
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:19,256
He Thundergunned all of us.
438
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,236
He Thundergunned
the shit out of us.
439
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:22,371
Frank?
440
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,778
Frank.
Frank.
441
00:20:08,724 --> 00:20:09,724
English - US - Line 21
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