All language subtitles for Diagnosis Murder s05e23 Food .Fight

Hey, ready for lunch?

Starving. What do you want to eat?

I was thinking about the cafeteria.

You don't want hospital food. What's
wrong with hospital food?

Sorry.

Is it a menu?

Why would you order up when you've got a
cafeteria right downstairs?

You ever tried a chip beef?

Well, actually, these are for caterers.
You're looking at the new chairman of

the benefactors' ball, which is just two
weeks away. Jesse, please temporary

insanity and quit. Why? This is my one
chance to show the hospital board that

I'm good at things that matter to them.
Jesse, your record in the ER is

exemplary. You saved many, many lives.

Yeah, but how much money have I raised?

You're a resident. They don't expect you
to raise money.

Exactly. And my residency ends in less
than a year. And if I have any chance of

staying on as an attending, I need to
impress the hospital board. And what

better way than with money?

So bribe him. Can we eat now? You do not
know what you're getting yourself into.

All I have to do is show up. I mean,
this thing has practically run itself

the past 30 years.

That's because Martin Gaylord always
catered to it, but he's retiring this

Look. I've put together some pretty good
ten keggers in college. I mean, throw

in a couple hundred buckets of Captain
Cluck's chicken legs and you've got

yourself a party. Now, that's one
fundraiser I'd go to. Yeah.

Sorry.

What do you got?

A charcoal grill blew up at a party. We
got smoke inhalation, minor burns, cuts

and bruises.

Nothing serious.

Oh,

Mrs. Tangert, I am so sorry. We'll pay
for everything. Just send all the

hospital bills and the repair costs to
me.

Oh, and you're going to be fine. And
don't worry about your wedding

next month. It's on us.

Oh, and don't worry about your son's bar
mitzvah. Our gift, our treat.

Oh, I'm ruined.

Oh, it's not so bad, Mr. Andrews.
Everyone loved the food until they were

wearing it.

Accidents happen, even to the best
chefs.

This was no accident.

Excuse me, I couldn't help notice your
bed. Are you a police officer? Well, I'd

like to report a crime.

My charcoal grill was sabotaged.

Udon noodles were flying everywhere.
Somebody could have been killed.

I didn't know noodles were lethal.

Well, they are if they're uncooked and
flying off the grill at 80 miles an

Can I have your name, please?

William Andrews Caterer. And this is not
the first time a caterer's equipment

has been tampered with lately.

Someone is trying to sabotage all the
caterers in this town, and I have a

good idea who.

Well, there's one caterer off my list.

You know, it's just sheer luck that
somebody wasn't seriously hurt. And if

somebody is really sabotaging caterers,
it could happen again.

Oh, not at my ball.

You better hope not because next time
somebody could get, you know.

One.

I'm in deep trouble.

Jesse, what's the big deal? Just pick
someone and walk away.

This is the benefactor's ball. And you
want it to be the most popular

benefactor's ball in community general
history.

Of course I do. Okay, here's what you
do.

Send out the invitations, collect the
donations, and cancel the ball.

I think if people pay $500 a plate,
they're going to expect to see something

it. They expect to spend a fortune on an
ugly dress or a rented tuck so they can

socialize with people that they've been
trying to avoid all day long.

Then they have to listen to boring
speeches honoring someone everybody

yet they suck up to them for one reason
or another.

And then they have to wait two hours for
the valets to find their cars.

Why do people go to these things in the
first place?

It's not that they want to. They have
to.

So you mean people are going to have a
rotten time no matter what I do?

Don't worry.

Everybody's going to blame you anyway.

Hi.

The arson squad checked out Andrew's
kitchen.

Apparently it looks suspicious, but they
haven't found anything concrete yet,

except for the noodles. You came all the
way down here to tell us that?

Well, Jesse's in a real tough spot right
now. He needs all the help he can get.

Hey, thanks.

Besides, it's Tuesday.

Pigs in a blanket. Anybody want to join
me in the cafeteria?

Are you kidding?

With a full 24 hours notice, I could
handle 500 people.

Hugs to Janice.

Uh, can we help you?

Are we set for Thursday's wrap party?

Say yes, because they're wrapping two
days early. As in tomorrow? I know it's

impossible. Now just get it done.

I'm sorry I don't have time for this
meeting after all.

What meeting?

Well, good news is, looks like Thursday
I'm open. Can we say lunch -ish? Not

easily.

Nancy, put me down for Thursday. Lunch
-ish with Dr. Travis.

Who are you?

Cynthia Bennett.

Apparently that's Cynthia Bennett.

That's right. All 300 lobsters tomorrow.

So they take the red -eye. I don't care
if they have jet lag. Just get them

here. She's a caterer.

Oh, and they pinned a detective shield
on me.

I tell you, Miss Bennett, I was very
impressed with your bid for the

benefactor's ball.

Don't take this the wrong way, but
you're a fool.

Now, what exactly would be the wrong way
to take that?

Anyone with a calculator and a copy of
Bon Appetit can knock off an impressive

bid. But can they deliver on what they
promise?

Well, if I knew that, I would have hired
someone already.

You know, there are a lot of wannabe
caterers out there.

But there's one thing I've got that they
can only dream of.

Four -digit cell phone bill?

References.

Wow. Is this the real Annette and
Warren?

Give them a call and ask.

And be sure to mention my name to the
person who answers.

You'll get through.

Ruth and Demi?

Whitney and Bobby Denzel and Pauletta
Baryshnikova. Can I borrow this for a

while? Is Fred Breyer in there?

Well, it sounds like Cynthia Bennett did
a great job for you. Thanks for your

time. Hey, you know what? As long as
we're talking here, I've got this great

idea for a movie where Rambo actually
teams up with Rocky.

I'm sorry, I've got to go. I'll call you
later with the details.

What do you got?

You're going to love this, Doctor.
Something you have never seen before.

You're kidding.

No, she's not kidding. BP, pulse.
Through the roof.

Hyper tachycardia. Yeah, well.

So, take a look.

Okay,

here we go. Voila.

A feast for the eyes as well as the
palate.

Hi, I'm Fred.

Fred McCarran. Helen Froehling.

And we put the fun back.

into fundraising. And the ball. Back
into your ball.

And isn't it supposed to impress me?

Well, not as a thing to your benefit.

Of course. Of course.

Personally, I like to think of it as a
quick introduction to our unique style.

Our unique style.

Oh, yes. We think that food is first,
but fun is foremost.

Well, you know, we have our own unique
style here where we use the emergency

room for actual emergencies and not
sales calls. Now, get out.

I'm sorry, Doc. We tried something, and,
well, it just didn't work. But keep

this in mind. The entire hospital will
be buzzing about this for days. When you

get right down to it, isn't that what
you want to get with a benefit? That

you know.

Um, you know where to find us? We're in
the book.

I've read every proposal, studied every
menu, and I've called every reference,

and I've come to the conclusion that
there is only one man.

Who can handle this job.

And that man is you, Mr. Gaylord.

Excellent pitch, Dr. Travis.

Superb. You know, if you had been on my
staff and looked after my sales, I might

have been able to retire years ago.

So then you'll do it.

And it's going to be a glorious evening
with you in charge.

See you at the dessert table.

No, hold on.

I can't.

Says who?

Dr. Travis.

I have catered more than my share of
parties in Hollywood.

And call it jaded or whatever, I believe
I've seen one too many 60 -ish ex -star

trying to pass himself off to everyone
as just being 22.

Well, I gotta tell you, if I was making
enough money to put a big old diamond

like that on a metal bracelet, I would
find it very difficult to just walk

This, my good man, is purely for self
-protection. You see, when you have a

peanut allergy, you want... People to
know why you quit breathing.

And this diamond's the best way I know
to get their attention.

That's a good point.

Well, now, you must know all the
caterers. Maybe you can recommend one

Certainly.

But I won't.

You like it?

Who are all these people, Jesse? I don't
know.

Uh, the party would be for... Not a
clue.

Then what are we doing here?

Eating. You said you were taking us to a
fabulous party.

And here you are.

You dragged us all the way across town
to help you select a caterer. Who else

could I turn to?

Jesse, sooner or later you're going to
have to make a decision for yourself.

I know that, but before I choose, I need
a little guidance. I don't know.

I've got to talk to these people.

Amanda, you have natural elegance. You
could blend in with these guests and see

what they think of the party. And, Mark,
to me, gourmet means sesame seeds on a

bun. You have a sophisticated palate.

You could tell me if this food is worthy
of $500 a plate.

Steve.

It's a nice tie.

You know, I have to admit that veal
Prince Arloff looks a little better than

anything I've got in the freezer.

You have half an hour, but you owe me.
Okay.

There's Cynthia Bennet. I hope you don't
mind if I go chat with her for a little

while. No, no, I'll just hang around
here and wait for someone to admire my

Yeah.

Are you up there?

Okay,

try to think of it this way. If you go
on stage without inhabiting the part,

you're just a person mouthing lines.
Isn't that what Stanislavski said?

Well, the same is true with them.

When folded perfectly, point sharp,
edges crisp, it's a napkin. Until then,

just a balled -up piece of cloth.

Now, take these rags into the kitchen
and don't bring them back until they're

napkins. Tuck the points tightly under
the long fold.

A solid napkin is a monument to the
meal.

Oh, good evening.

Evening. You enjoying the party, Dr.
Sloan? Lovely. Very nice.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, Stanislavski would definitely
approve.

Yes, well, most of the waiters on the
party circuit don't really care about

job. It's just what they do until the
real career kicks in. So in order to

motivate them, I have to speak in terms
that they can understand.

Hmm. I can see why caterers like working
with you.

I try to do a good job.

Although I must admit, I'm surprised
you're working with this particular

caterer. Cynthia, we've done hundreds of
parties together.

Even though Willie said she sabotaged
his party? You could have been hurt.

Explosions aren't Cynthia's style.

Besides, she can do more damage with an
ugly rumor and a cell phone than a

thousand pounds of dynamite.

Excuse me, Dr. Sloan. I have a jewelry
crisis.

I know you're waiting for an answer,
Goldie, but Kurt's birthday is the same

night as the benefactor's ball.

Now, I'm not stringing you along, I
promise.

Just give me a little more time.

All right.

Well, Dr. Travis, I'm so glad you could
make it. I hope you're enjoying the

party. Oh, yeah. The food looks great.
The decor is beautiful.

And all the guests are having a great
time. Oh, I knew you were a man who

appreciate quality.

Oh, it would have been fun to work with
you.

Oh, well.

What do you mean, oh, well? What do you
mean?

Well, I can't keep turning away business
hoping you'll choose me, not when my

regular customers want me for the same
night.

I tell you what, don't make any plans
until tomorrow.

I'll have an answer for you by then. I
don't know. My people are getting antsy.

Nine o 'clock sharp. You can wait until
then.

Nine o 'clock.

Thanks.

Is this a great party or what?

Can we leave yet?

Mind if I eat my food first?

Why don't I have to watch?

What's wrong?

I think it was a shrimp toast.

You know what your problem is? You don't
have a stomach for fine food.

Shrimp toast?

Veal prince aura.

No offense, Mark, but as you get older,
the digestive system gets a little

twitchy. You may want to stay away from
the rich foods.

Bill Prince Orloff?

Cheese balls.

Amanda, all these years in the path lab,
who would have thought that you had

such a tender little stomach?

You know, something I don't think is
Amanda's stomach. Four hours.

Is he all right?

Call 911.

Sorry I'm late.

Anything come up during the autopsy?
Yeah, my breakfast, thanks to you.

That hasn't happened to me during an
autopsy since I was in med school. Hey,

well, look, I didn't cook the food last
night. You didn't eat it either.

Probably a good thing since the lab said
it was full of salmonella.

So Cliff Furlong died from food
poisoning?

Well, not exactly. He was taking
digitalis and diuretics for a heart

But that combined with salmonella caused
his potassium levels to drop so much so

that his system shut down and he died.

So this was an accident.

No, the salmonella levels in his blood
were way too high to be simple

contamination. Somebody tampered with
that food, which makes a murder.

So everyone got poisoned just so someone
could take out this guy?

I don't think so.

Mr. Furlong wasn't even supposed to be
there.

He was the last man of day to one of the
other guests.

So then technically it was an accident.

Well, not if the food was deliberately
tampered with.

You know, I think Willie was right.
Somebody sabotaged his grill.

Maybe the same person that tampered with
Cynthia Bennett's food.

Or Willie was getting back at Cynthia
for what she tried to do to him.

It doesn't matter how it happened.
Cynthia Bennett is not going to be

my benefactor's ball.

Hold on. Think about it.

Jesse, you do that and the sabotage paid
off.

You think all this sabotage is about who
I pick for a caterer? Yes. Well, then I

quit. Well, unfortunately, that's not
going to solve the problem.

It will for me.

You're saying this guy died for a party?
Well, it's not just any party, Steve.

Whoever gets the benefactor's ball
replaces Martin Gaylord at the very top

the catering world.

A lot of money and prestige involved.

Something to kill for. I think I'd
better have a talk with Cynthia Bennett.

Right after I throw up.

The bad news is you're still dehydrated.
The good news is you won't be having to

eat our hospital food.

Give him 25 milligrams of Compazine and
keep the fluids going.

Yep. Thanks a lot.

Uh, Mr. Horn, aside from your queasy
stomach, how are you feeling?

Lucky. This is the first time in ten
years as a cater waiter that I've gotten

food poisoning.

Ten years? Wow.

I guess the career as an actor didn't
quite pan out.

Not all of us cater -waiters are doing
it to pay for acting classes or a chance

to slip someone a spec script.

Some of us are professionals.

For nine years, I worked exclusively for
Martin Gaylord.

Now, would you have any idea who would
want to ruin Willie Andrews and Cynthia

Bennett? Fred McCarron and Helen
Froelich are the obvious ones.

Next to Cynthia and Willie, they're the
best.

And they haven't been struck yet.

Wow, so you must know everybody in the
catering scene, huh?

If they're worth knowing, they started
with Mr. Gaylord.

Do you know Captain Cluck?

You know, let me ask you. If you were
arranging a big social event, who would

you hire to cater it?

Me.

I mean, no offense, Mr.

Horn, but I'm your waiter.

So was Martin Gaylord when he started
out.

No one is born a caterer, Dr. Travis.

You do have to get your start somewhere.

I realize that. This is the benefactor's
ball. I mean, it's hardly a place to

get your start.

Sorry.

Ah, Dr. Travis.

Would you kindly direct me towards
Emerson Horn's room?

Mr. Gaylord, I can do better than that.
I'll escort you myself.

Sure. The least I could do for Community
General's new man of the year. Hello.

Congratulations.

The man of the year has traditionally
been a recognized humanitarian and a

generous benefactor to the hospital.

Well, then explain David Hasselhoff.

The point is, I hardly qualify.

But without you, the benefactor's ball
wouldn't be the premier fundraising

that it is today. You're directly
responsible for raising millions of

donations. Let's face it.

You're irreplaceable. Thank you. I'm
very honored.

So, man of the year, who should replace
you?

Ah, if you named me man of the year
simply as a ploy to get me to select a

caterer, I'm afraid you are in for a
very grave disappointment.

So are you, unless you like Captain
Cluck's chicken fixings.

Dr. Travis, I simply cannot select a
caterer. It's like asking a father to

his favorite child.

Hey, um, you could tell me which one
would be most likely to sabotage his

competitor.

All of them.

I'm afraid they all have my ambition and
none of my ethics. However, they can

throw a fabulous party.

Good luck, Dr. Tata.

Of course I understand, Ingrid. We can't
afford to take chances.

I've done every party she's ever been
to, and now I'm not good enough to cater

bachelorette party for 35 of her
supermodel friends.

After last night, can you blame her?

She probably didn't want her friends to
spend the next day throwing up.

They're supermodels, Detective.

That's what they do anyway.

Cynthia can't come to the phone right
now. She's busy vomiting. If you'd like

leave a message... Hello!

Why don't you just shoot me?

The thought crossed my mind at about 3 o
'clock this morning.

So I'm the bad guy?

That's what I'm here to find out.

You know anything about the explosion
that ruined Willie Andrews' party?

Well, of course I do. Thanks to his
misfortune, I was about to get the

for the benefactor's ball.

What are my chances now?

It was up to me.

Well, with me and Willie Andrews out of
the running, that just leaves the

dastardly duo, Fred McCarron and Helen
Froelich.

There must be a thousand other caterers
in this town.

Yes, but only three who trained in a
Martin Gaylord.

Anyone else is just fast food.

Hey, I was never poisoned by Burger Boy.

And I smoked six packs a day for 12
years. Does that mean I shouldn't worry

about lung cancer?

Well, Fred and Helen did do it. It
wasn't a very subtle plan.

They stand out like a topless dancer at
a funeral.

So you've been to one of their events?

no hard evidence on anyone.

Just a lot of accusations and sour
stomachs.

Fresh enough for your magnesium
hydrochloride? No, thanks.

I got a drive.

Now I know how my patients feel.

All our problems are solved.

Funny, I still feel nauseous. The
board's been trying to raise money for a

MRI suite, right?

Right. So I got this great idea. What if
I got them one?

How? I'm hosting a gala fundraiser a
week from today right here in the lobby.

Sort of like a dry run for the
benefactors ball.

You RSVP for the party right there in
the community general's admission form.

Not a bad idea, Jesse. Who's catering?

Fred and Helen.

But they're the ones that are probably
behind all the sabotage. Yeah, so the

evening should go by without a hitch. So
look sharp.

Nice turnout.

Yeah, and we're saving a bundle on
overhead.

No room or furniture rental, plenty of
parking, and free decor.

Be careful, Jesse. You're starting to
sound like a bit of a demonstrator.

I see you're plainly wised up and want
with a real chef from downstairs.

Would you go with macaroni and cheese or
the chip beef?

They're both great.

You know he wasn't raised that way. He's
going to be so depressed when he lifts

that lid and finds that there's lamb
medallions and champagne.

Don't look. Let's see that lady
following the food cart.

That's Jan Curran. She's the society
editor for the Los Angeles Chronicle.

always first in line for the food. And
last to leave the bar.

If she writes about this in her column,
you have arrived in society, Dr. Travis.

See, Mark, I told you there's nothing to
arranging a little fundraiser.

Except your caterers may be killers.

So, you arrest them after the ball.

I've got to hand it to you. The food is
great.

I love it when they put little bacon
bits in the meatloaf. No bone.

Oh, my God.

That's hospital food.

Yeah, and it's hot, too. You better get
a plate quick.

We're ruined.

I'm ruined. What's the problem?

Well, no one's going to pay $250 a plate
for our slop.

Hey, that's a bargain compared to what
the hospital usually charges a patient.

My rival in society.

Oh,

I'm so sorry, but this is for the tubal
ligation patient in room six there. Your

meal is on the way.

Just step on up and enjoy our bar.

Where's the good stuff?

I don't know. Somebody must have
hijacked the truck. What do you mean?

Do you really know how to throw a party?

I always thought it was a crime the way
food is served in hospitals.

Until now, I never knew what it really
was.

This isn't a joke, Mr. Andrews. It's
exactly what it is, Lieutenant.

It's just a harmless prank. It's just...
Like what those two scoundrels pulled

on me when they blew up my charcoal
grill.

You said Cynthia Bennett did that.

Yeah, well, that's what I thought, you
see, until all those people got poisoned

at our party.

And how do I know you didn't do that?

I'm not that kind of person.

You're just the kind of person that
would break into their kitchen, lock the

chef in a freezer.

I tossed them a down jacket first.

Destroyed everything they cooked and
steal their van.

I returned it.

Yeah, that reminds me. You parked in a
handicapped spot.

That's a $2 ,000 fine.

So why don't you just convince me that
you didn't contaminate Cynthia Bennett's

food and in doing so kill one of her
guests?

I didn't destroy everything Fred and
Helen cooked.

I dropped it off at a homeless shelter.

And you saved the receipt for your
taxes.

The point is, Detective, I'm an artist.

Food is my form. It's my life.

I'd never waste good cuisine, whether I
cooked it or not, and I certainly could

never poison it.

Not even for the lucrative catering
contracts you might land if you got the

benefactor's ball?

I wouldn't.

But Cynthia, Fred, and Helen, they're
not like me.

No.

They might.

Willie was released on bail this
morning.

On a murder charge?

I only had enough to charge him with
joyriding.

The chef he locked in the freezer
refused to file a complaint.

Why? Well, I think it may have had
something to do with his new job at

catering company at twice the salary
that he was being paid by Fred and

Ah, shame.

So we're no closer to finding our
saboteur or the guy who murdered poor

Furlong. At least Willie's prank wasn't
lethal.

I guess you've never had the hospital's
butterscotch pudding.

You know, we can't take the chance the
next prank won't be lethal.

Where are you going?

I want to talk to Jesse. We need to buy
ourselves some time.

Well, the good thing is it's a simple
break, so we'll keep this cast on her

about six weeks, and you'll be arm
-wrestling your brother Jasper in no

But next time, don't do it on a granite
countertop. I really can't talk right

now, so we have to make this fast.

I'm with a patient. You want to get out?

Say hello to Elton John.

You have to give me the benefactor's
ball, or Cliff Prolong's death has no

meaning. Is this about that guy that
died at your party?

Well, maybe you can live with that
guilt, but I can't.

Thanks, Elton.

You're a candle in my wind.

Let's talk about that brunch.

You just put a sling on that and we'll
schedule a follow -up in three weeks.

I'm

not

going to say a word. My food speaks for
itself.

Security, will you escort this man out
of here? Yeah, well, just try it, buddy.

Just one little bite.

Hey, bon appetit.

I am ready to cancel this ball.

Jesse, you can't cancel the ball. That's
the biggest donation of the year. We

need him.

But I doubt we're going to be able to
unmask our saboteur by then.

So what do we do?

We need to put somebody in charge who's
above reproach.

Captain Cluck.

Grilled cheese sandwich.

Grilled cheese, huh?

Of course.

Just because I'm a caterer doesn't mean
that every meal is truffles and caviar.

I do enjoy the basics, too.

So, here we have povolone, mozzarella,
parmesan, and

goat cheese on homemade sourdough bread,
lightly brushed with hand -churned

butter. Well, as long as it's just the
basics.

So, fellows, we didn't come down here
for lunch now, did we, or did we?

Well, no, we didn't, Martin.

Here's the problem.

All of your protégés are so eager to get
that benefactor's ball account, they're

sabotaging each other's parties, trying
to narrow down the field.

Well, that's exactly why I chose to
retire. I'm afraid the business has

much too brutal.

I do not have the stomach for it
anymore.

Pardon the pun.

The trouble is it's gone way past bad
-mouthing the competition and stealing

each other's cooks. Somebody died
because of those pranks.

We're afraid that no matter who I pick,
the sore loser is going to strike out at

the ball and someone else could get
hurt.

So we were thinking, no one can take
your place at the top if you're still

there. But I do have to retire sometime,
you know.

Oh, of course you do. But could you just
hang on for one more event?

I'm in trouble, Mr. Gaylord, and only
the best can get me out of this. And

that's you.

You made the benefactor's ball the high
point of the social season. Now, you

wouldn't want to see your legacy
disgraced, would you?

Leave everything to me.

Aha! Congratulations, Doctor. You played
your part very well.

Oh, really? What part?

The part Martin Gaylord wrote for you.

Don't you see? All of our reputations
are ruined. The only thing that's left

us to cater this social season is our
own weight.

Madonna's plumber won't even return my
calls.

Hey, look, you guys did this to
yourselves.

The only reason Gaylor retired was
because it was less humiliating than

broke. He was a dinosaur. We, the Ice
Age. When we quit, his business was

finished. Well, Cynthia's the one with
the golden Rolodex.

Willie's the culinary genius.

And Ellen and I... We're the joy.

So then Martin Gaylord was the saboteur.

Yes, he's the one who blew up my
charcoal grill and poisoned Cynthia's

got us to go after each other.

The competition eliminates itself, and
he's the only caterer left standing.

All he needed was a sucker in charge of
the ball to play along.

I hate to say it, but there are theories
as good as any. It could be Gaylord.

Would it also be any of the others, too?

Everybody's got a motive. It doesn't
make my job any easier.

Your job? What about my job? My future
here at the hospital is at stake.

What are we going to do?

I think the only thing we can do is have
a party.

How could you think about a ball knowing
what we know or don't know?

You know?

Everything that's happened is centered
around that ball. I think the only way

we're going to find out the truth is to
have the ball.

Gentlemen, wrench or tuxedo, this is
going to be a killer.

Knife, nose ring.

Get out.

Hello.

A little old to be starting as a cater
waiter, aren't we dear?

I'm embarking on a career change.

I see.

You photograph well.

No previous service experience?

I worked at Burger Boy one summer while
I was in high school.

Balance.

Act like you're a waiter.

Walk.

Smile.

Let's see some teeth.

Offer me something on your tray.

Studs only.

I beg your pardon?

No dangling earrings.

Studs only.

No other jewelry, normal hair, light
makeup, shower, and wear underwear.

I -9, W -4, contact information.

And rules of cater -waitering.

Welcome to the benefactor's ball, Miss
Bentley.

They're supposed to be in circles, not
ovals.

Yes, sir.

Daisy's on the canisters.

Flop in the megaphones, not film.

Relax, Doctor. Everything's going to be
just fine.

I'm not a doctor, but I think you're
supposed to take it by the teeth food,

by the gulp.

I think I'll go check on my undercover
operative.

Howdy, Gardner.

Good evening, Duke.

Thank you.

Nice, huh?

If you ever ask me to do something like
this again, I expect to see you in

fishnet stockings and heels as a gesture
of sympathy.

We're needed waiters, and I needed an
extra pair of eyes.

You seen anything yet? No.

Well, I've got men stationed at the
service center and sent at all the

Anybody that gets in doesn't get out.

That is a good look on you.

Enjoy the party, sir.

Hello, Susan.

Oh, hi, Dr. Regan. Nice to see you.

The board of directors is very
impressed.

With Susan.

It's not too late for them to cancel
payment on their checks.

Feels I'm very optimistic.

Well, maybe I've been to too many
parties lately.

That is the one thing a cater waiter

never does.

Eat before the last guest has left and
all the glasses and linens have been

repacked. I don't work very well on an
empty stomach.

You won't work at all if I catch you
touching the food again.

Do I make myself clear?

Yes.

Here's looking at you, kid.

May I offer you some punch?

Not so fast.

Here's another fine mess you got us
into.

Oh, that's it. The party's over. My
career's ruined.

Hollywood,

if nothing else, is a spectacle.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the
31st Annual Benefactors Ball.

Everyone enjoys a good movie explosion,
but the best special effect is this

smile on a child's face.

The happiness born of the good health
your generous contributions to Community

General make possible.

So, tonight, everyone, please enjoy the
party. Please enjoy all

the many surprises.

And most of all, please enjoy the
giving.

Amazing save, Martin.

Oh, thank you. But that was absolutely
nothing. You should have seen when the

white tigers got loose at the county zoo
benefit.

Well, I tell you, if you weren't man of
the year, I would make you man of the

year. Man of the year. You've got to be
sitting at the table of honor. I've got

a speech to make in ten minutes.

I

know

it's very pretty.

But it does have to go on to one's lap
eventually.

Not this one, Martin.

Mr. Horne.

A little problem with this napkin.

Oh, it looks fine to me. Sharp points,
firm body, tight base.

Look at the other nappy from the table.

Floppy points, flat bodies, loose base.
This is ridiculous.

I'm terribly sorry.

Oh, don't be. Save Mr. Galen's life.

I don't understand.

Jesse told me that you were allergic to
peanuts. Yes. This napkin's covered with

a thin film of peanut oil.

You touch this to your lips, you could
go into anaphylactic shock.

You going somewhere?

I'm working a party, in case you hadn't
noticed.

Looks to me like you're trying to flee
the scene of an attempted murder.

Don't be ridiculous.

This was the only... Neat napkin on the
table because it's the only napkin on

the table that you folded.

You know, you were right. Someone was
trying to pit you against one another,

it wasn't Martin Gaylord.

It wasn't Mr. Horne.

You're basing this laughable accusation
on a folded napkin?

No, you also worked at Willie's when the
grill blew up, and you worked at

Cynthia's when everybody got food
poisoning.

I work 100 parties a year.

Besides, I got poisoned, too.

Remember?

Well, that is where you made your
mistake.

Now, what is it that every cater waiter
does not do?

Never eat until the last guest has left
and make sure all the linens and glasses

have been repacked.

That is the only way you could have been
sick with the others.

You ate before the guests left.

Disgusting. Just to make sure that
nobody suspected him of being involved

sabotage.

Did you really think that I enjoyed
being a waiter?

No one in their right minds wants to do
that their entire life.

I had my dreams.

To be an actor?

A caterer.

And I told you that, Martin. You
promised to teach me, to take me into

company, and then when it was time to
retire, all you said was, keep up the

work, Horn.

Well, you could have gone out on your
own.

How could I possibly compete against
them without your help?

I wanted to humiliate you, to ruin your
reputations.

I never thought that the Salmonella
would kill anybody.

No one was supposed to get hurt.

Up until Martin Gaylord came out of
retirement, at least.

Then you saw a one -time opportunity.

You were going to kill him because you
knew they would all be here.

Who wouldn't have thought they killed
him after the stunts they pulled?

You'd be the only one left in business
who trained under Martin Gaylord.

This is what I call a party.

Boy, it sure was.

How are you going to top this one next
year?

Next year?

Yeah.