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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,550 --> 00:00:08,520 ("THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS" PLAYING) 2 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:18,960 ♪ There's no business Like show business ♪ 3 00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:22,880 ♪ Like no business I know ♪ 4 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,500 ♪ Everything about it Is appealing ♪ 5 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,940 ♪ Everything the traffic Will allow ♪ 6 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,950 ♪ Nowhere could you get That happy feeling ♪ 7 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,680 ♪ When you are stealing That extra bow ♪ 8 00:00:36,820 --> 00:00:40,690 ♪ There's no people Like show people ♪ 9 00:00:40,820 --> 00:00:44,250 ♪ They smile When they are low ♪ 10 00:00:44,390 --> 00:00:47,820 ♪ Yesterday they told you You would not go far ♪ 11 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,490 ♪ That night you open And there you are ♪ 12 00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:53,230 ♪ Next day On your dressing room ♪ 13 00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:54,640 ♪ They've hung a star ♪ 14 00:00:54,770 --> 00:00:59,550 ♪ Let's go on with the show ♪ 15 00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:03,350 ♪ Let's go ♪ 16 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:10,560 ♪ On with the show ♪ 17 00:01:16,590 --> 00:01:17,450 Say what now? 18 00:01:17,590 --> 00:01:20,820 Vaginas make his flesh creep. 19 00:01:22,230 --> 00:01:24,830 What-- What class was this for? 20 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,330 PE. 21 00:01:27,930 --> 00:01:30,630 Whose vagina is he talking about? 22 00:01:30,770 --> 00:01:32,130 General vaginas. 23 00:01:32,270 --> 00:01:34,000 So... Wait. 24 00:01:34,910 --> 00:01:36,620 You went to PE? 25 00:01:36,740 --> 00:01:40,510 It was a class on CPR. They were discussing anginas. 26 00:01:40,650 --> 00:01:43,560 So, he thought they said vaginas! 27 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,520 Oh, I mean, he isn't exactly sexually active. 28 00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:50,790 He hasn't even seen one. We talk about sex all the time. 29 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,960 - Usually during carpool. - Mr. Smart-- 30 00:01:53,090 --> 00:01:54,290 Which is why my mom drives us now. 31 00:01:54,430 --> 00:01:56,540 In history class, Les was assigned 32 00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:59,190 one page on Manifest Destiny. 33 00:01:59,330 --> 00:02:00,830 Instead, he turned in 34 00:02:00,970 --> 00:02:03,040 a nine-page Wizard of Oz musical 35 00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:06,500 set in the French Revolution he calls "Les Wiz." 36 00:02:06,810 --> 00:02:08,810 I'm sorry. I'm trying to understand. 37 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,540 Aren't nine pages better than one? 38 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,650 That wasn't the assignment. 39 00:02:13,780 --> 00:02:15,880 Les, would you please step outside? 40 00:02:19,850 --> 00:02:21,920 Like it's my fault vaginas make my flesh creep. 41 00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:23,490 You haven't seen one yet! 42 00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:25,090 It's because he hasn't seen one yet. 43 00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:26,620 Mr. Smart, 44 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:30,830 you may need to consider the possibility that Les... 45 00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:33,260 is homosexual. 46 00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:38,240 That is a remarkable statement. 47 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,340 You know I'm in theater, right? 48 00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:42,870 For a living. I produce regional theater. 49 00:02:43,010 --> 00:02:44,240 I don't see what that has to do with-- 50 00:02:44,380 --> 00:02:46,390 Uh, just follow the plot. 51 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,650 Theater teaches empathy. 52 00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:52,420 We don't care if someone's black or white-- 53 00:02:52,550 --> 00:02:53,720 Neither do we. 54 00:02:53,850 --> 00:02:55,880 Don't care if they are gay or straight... 55 00:02:56,020 --> 00:02:59,120 - Neither do we. - Rich, poor, thin, fat-- 56 00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:00,400 Neither do we! 57 00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:03,440 We don't care who they happen to love, 58 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:07,000 or have sex with, Mrs. Franklin. 59 00:03:08,570 --> 00:03:10,240 As long as they are talented-- 60 00:03:10,370 --> 00:03:11,570 Christian. 61 00:03:13,370 --> 00:03:14,600 - Talented. - Christian. 62 00:03:17,610 --> 00:03:18,770 - Talented. - Christian. 63 00:03:19,550 --> 00:03:21,590 (DOOR OPENS) 64 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,760 (MAN) You know, Les, I've always felt deeply sorry 65 00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:28,990 for people who couldn't appreciate me. 66 00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:33,190 (LES) Noël Coward, 1899 to 1973! 67 00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:35,630 I was from Teddington, Middlesex, you see. 68 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,760 Have you ever played Teddington, Middlesex? 69 00:03:39,030 --> 00:03:40,260 Not yet. 70 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,430 Well, if you do, just make the best of it. 71 00:03:43,570 --> 00:03:47,740 My point is, Les, I was a boy actor like you. 72 00:03:48,370 --> 00:03:51,910 You and I think differently than other boys and girls. 73 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:56,410 I'd like to fit in, Noël. But I don't know how, I guess. 74 00:03:56,550 --> 00:03:58,650 It didn't bother me in the least. 75 00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:01,820 I call bullshit. 76 00:04:04,090 --> 00:04:07,020 I never cared who scored the goal, 77 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:10,030 or which side won the silver cup. 78 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,340 I never learned to bat or bowl. 79 00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:17,070 But I heard the curtain going up! 80 00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:19,140 (FATHER GROANS) 81 00:04:19,370 --> 00:04:20,570 (CHUCKLES) 82 00:04:20,870 --> 00:04:23,210 Come on, Les. Let's go pick up your mother and brother. 83 00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:25,510 (BELL RINGS) 84 00:04:26,450 --> 00:04:28,150 (DOOR OPENS) 85 00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:30,410 I hate this school. No one gets me. 86 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:33,450 You're a weirdo. It's not their fault. 87 00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:35,550 Wait till you get to high school. 88 00:04:35,690 --> 00:04:37,400 You'll find your people. 89 00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:38,990 Derrick likes high school. 90 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,990 Derrick likes pushing the button in elevators. 91 00:04:41,130 --> 00:04:43,440 Well, you're more complicated than your brother. 92 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:44,990 You're an artist, like me. 93 00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:48,060 But Derrick's popular. You gave Derrick a popular name. 94 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,200 You actually gave me a name with no value. 95 00:04:50,340 --> 00:04:51,710 Les-- 96 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:53,580 If dirt were a name, you would've called me dirt. 97 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:56,550 Nice. Clever and dramatic. 98 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,020 You'll be happy too. It's inevitable. 99 00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:02,120 Were you popular in middle school? 100 00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:03,620 (SCOFFS) 101 00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:06,150 Five people are popular in middle school, Dirt. 102 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:08,620 I already knew I wanted 103 00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:10,890 to produce shows on Broadway when I was your age. 104 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,060 Who wants to do that in middle school? 105 00:05:13,190 --> 00:05:14,820 Talk about weirdos. 106 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,060 (CAR HONKS) 107 00:05:17,460 --> 00:05:19,700 Does it bother you it never happened? 108 00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:27,540 Things change on a dime in show business. 109 00:05:27,670 --> 00:05:29,710 It could still happen, you'll see. 110 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:31,880 Come on. 111 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,410 Vaginas scared me too at first. 112 00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:41,430 Don't worry about it. Vaginas will grow on you. 113 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:42,950 ("GIVE MY REGARDS TO BROADWAY" PLAYING) 114 00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:46,020 ♪ Give my regards to Broadway ♪ 115 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,770 ♪ Remember me To Herald Square ♪ 116 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:52,970 ♪ Tell all the gang At Forty-Second Street ♪ 117 00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:54,600 ♪ That I will soon be there ♪ 118 00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:57,730 Buddy, you need to talk with your son. 119 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,410 Why are they mine when they're in trouble? 120 00:06:00,540 --> 00:06:02,840 Ernie Saracino wants to quit. 121 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:04,540 Les. 122 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:05,750 Why is it me? It could be Derrick. 123 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,420 He says Les just arbitrarily 124 00:06:07,550 --> 00:06:09,220 sneaks into scenes during the show. 125 00:06:09,350 --> 00:06:10,760 I didn't sneak. 126 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,550 I told him I really think I should be in more scenes. 127 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,350 You're not the director. You can't-- 128 00:06:14,490 --> 00:06:15,760 It's Fiddler on the Roof. 129 00:06:15,890 --> 00:06:17,930 I'm pretty sure there were children in Anatevka. 130 00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:19,400 Ernie Saracino is the best, 131 00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:21,300 least expensive director we have. 132 00:06:21,430 --> 00:06:22,740 We cannot afford to lose him. 133 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:25,160 And he's tired of you upstaging everyone. 134 00:06:26,530 --> 00:06:27,500 Derrick almost lost his virginity. 135 00:06:27,630 --> 00:06:28,760 - Hey! - Almost? 136 00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:30,070 How almost? 137 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,470 - Her name's Annabeth Devine. - Shut up! 138 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,000 Maybe Anna Bess. (LISPING) She lisps. 139 00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:35,640 Well, invite her over for dinner. 140 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:36,970 We'd all like to meet her. 141 00:06:37,110 --> 00:06:38,440 (SCOFFS) No. 142 00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:40,890 No? It's not like you're embarrassed by us or anything. 143 00:06:41,210 --> 00:06:42,650 Dad, of course I am. 144 00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:46,780 Well, then bring her by the theater on a matinee day. 145 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,250 She won't even know we're checking her out. 146 00:06:48,390 --> 00:06:51,030 (SCOFFS) No one I know wants to go to the theater. 147 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,300 God, I don't even want to be at the theater matinee days. 148 00:06:53,420 --> 00:06:54,720 I-I'd rather do football. 149 00:06:54,860 --> 00:06:56,160 - Okay? They're having-- - That's just a phase. 150 00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:57,990 I could easily make the team at this school. 151 00:06:58,130 --> 00:07:00,160 It's not my rule, there are eight shows a week. 152 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,330 That's just the way it is. 153 00:07:01,470 --> 00:07:02,310 I'm not doing any more musicals. 154 00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:04,100 You are not the only 16-year-old 155 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,840 who has to work in the family business. 156 00:07:05,970 --> 00:07:06,800 You don't even pay me. 157 00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:08,270 Well, you're not very good. 158 00:07:09,710 --> 00:07:11,270 Just bring her over for dinner. 159 00:07:11,410 --> 00:07:12,980 Uh, no, better yet, 160 00:07:13,110 --> 00:07:14,810 we'll be having auditions at the house 161 00:07:14,950 --> 00:07:16,490 for Raisin in the Sun soon. 162 00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:18,690 Bring her by then. She will love it. 163 00:07:18,820 --> 00:07:21,230 She won't, Dad. She's normal. 164 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:22,990 She'll grow out of it. 165 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,420 (WOMAN) We'll stay with your Uncle Abram! 166 00:07:26,090 --> 00:07:28,220 (MAN) We're staying with your Uncle Abrams! 167 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,430 We're staying with your Uncle Abrams! 168 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:31,690 The whole world has to know our business! 169 00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:32,900 (CROWD LAUGHTER) 170 00:07:33,030 --> 00:07:34,160 Stop yelling and start packing. 171 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:36,000 (MAN) I don't need your advice, Golde. 172 00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:37,270 (LAUGHTER) 173 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,070 We have a train to catch, and a boat. 174 00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:43,970 Children, put the bundles on the wagon. 175 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,080 Work hard, Motel. 176 00:07:46,810 --> 00:07:48,280 Come to us soon. 177 00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:51,220 (WOMAN) Go on. Do it! 178 00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:54,880 Why go through life unnoticed? 179 00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:58,620 (LES) Ruth Gordon, 1896 to 1985. 180 00:07:58,790 --> 00:08:01,060 Which scene are you crashing? 181 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,530 I promised my dad I wouldn't. 182 00:08:03,660 --> 00:08:07,030 Well, some days, you have to lie. 183 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:11,080 This next scene's the one I really wanna get into. 184 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,540 They're forced to leave their little village of Anatevka. 185 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,750 So they stand in a circle holding hands, 186 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,670 then let go and go their separate ways. 187 00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:18,970 It's symbolic. 188 00:08:19,110 --> 00:08:20,610 Terrific! 189 00:08:20,810 --> 00:08:22,040 But I don't know how to get in the circle 190 00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:24,080 'cause they're holding hands. 191 00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:26,930 Just do it. You'll figure it out. 192 00:08:27,390 --> 00:08:30,230 You gotta go out there and show 'em what you got. 193 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,890 (DISTANT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER) 194 00:08:36,060 --> 00:08:38,390 Don't worry about Ernie Saracino. 195 00:08:38,530 --> 00:08:39,760 What can he do? 196 00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:42,600 Go on. Make it great. 197 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:45,530 Bring the scene up to your great level. 198 00:08:45,670 --> 00:08:48,070 Go! Go! 199 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,780 What the hell are you doing? 200 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,920 (VOICE CRACKING) I'm leaving Anatevka! 201 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:04,450 (MOTHER) Honey, our electric bill 202 00:09:04,590 --> 00:09:05,920 is killing us. 203 00:09:06,060 --> 00:09:07,800 Couldn't we raise the temp in the theater a bit? 204 00:09:07,930 --> 00:09:10,300 It doesn't need to be like a morgue in there. 205 00:09:10,860 --> 00:09:12,560 (BUDDY) Cold keeps the audience alert. 206 00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:14,860 And it keeps us in debt. 207 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:17,500 - Let's just go to sleep. - (SIGHS) 208 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,110 Seems to me the only thing we ever fight about is money. 209 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:23,840 Well, I'm an American. And I love money. 210 00:09:26,110 --> 00:09:27,210 Honestly, though, 211 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,020 you know what I'm afraid of, Buddy? 212 00:09:29,510 --> 00:09:31,180 Silence? 213 00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:36,750 Look, we are rich in other ways. 214 00:09:36,890 --> 00:09:38,890 And I've got some coals in the fire. 215 00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:41,820 Big things are coming. (CLUCKS TONGUE) 216 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,100 - I saw Reverend Jackson. - Mace-- 217 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,980 Millions of people find comfort in God. 218 00:09:54,110 --> 00:09:55,350 You act like it's just me. 219 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,310 I just don't want to be associated with it. 220 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:02,810 I was raised by two of the meanest, churchiest women-- 221 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:06,010 I'm not your horrible dead aunts, I'm your wife. 222 00:10:06,150 --> 00:10:08,650 And if you loved me, you would at least be open to it. 223 00:10:08,790 --> 00:10:10,900 But if you loved me, you wouldn't try to change me. 224 00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:13,090 It's because I love you, Buddy. 225 00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:16,490 It would break my heart to watch you die without God. 226 00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:19,190 Sweetie, who says I'm going first? 227 00:10:19,630 --> 00:10:22,770 - Mm. (LAUGHS) - Hmm? 228 00:10:23,430 --> 00:10:26,600 Honestly, I thought I would've worn you down by now. 229 00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:30,050 The thought of you in purgatory terrifies me. 230 00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:33,050 (MACY SIGHS) 231 00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:35,180 - Goodnight. - Oh. Stop talking. 232 00:10:35,310 --> 00:10:37,210 You don't always get to have the last word, you know? 233 00:10:37,350 --> 00:10:38,980 - You're right. - Then stop talking. 234 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,260 - I am. - I mean it. 235 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:42,560 - I know. - Don't say any more. (CHUCKLES) 236 00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:43,900 - I won't. - Oh... 237 00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:47,560 (LAUGHS) I have to sleep. 238 00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:50,560 I have to get up early to make the boys' lunches. 239 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,410 (BUDDY SIGHS) 240 00:11:03,540 --> 00:11:06,140 - Sweet dreams. - I knew you were gonna do that! 241 00:11:07,550 --> 00:11:09,520 (BAGPIPES PLAYING) 242 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:14,450 (MACY) Hey! 243 00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:16,450 Hey! 244 00:11:16,590 --> 00:11:17,760 Hey! 245 00:11:17,890 --> 00:11:19,290 Honest to Betsy! 246 00:11:19,420 --> 00:11:21,420 Do you have to play that thing where we can hear it? 247 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:24,160 Mom, I have to practice, or I'll never sound good. 248 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:27,870 You'll never sound good 'cause you're playing a bagpipe. 249 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,970 Bagpipes sound like a mistake. 250 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,050 Well, who were we bothering? We're making music. 251 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,970 That is not music! 252 00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:36,950 Those things sounded lousy on stage. 253 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,420 They sound worse in life. 254 00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:40,310 Les, come in and get ready for school. 255 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,790 (BAGPIPE TOOTS) 256 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:45,150 I will call the police on you myself, I swear it. 257 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,650 (BUDDY) Can you at least take joy 258 00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:49,580 in the fact of knowing that any minute we might stop? 259 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,060 On with the show. 260 00:11:56,290 --> 00:11:58,260 (BAGPIPES PLAYING) 261 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,370 (DOGS BARKING) 262 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,140 (SIGHS) 263 00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:16,140 (STUDENT) Hey. 264 00:12:17,980 --> 00:12:19,210 I was just wondering, 265 00:12:19,350 --> 00:12:20,950 how come you never play sports after school? 266 00:12:21,090 --> 00:12:22,930 I work at my parents' theater. 267 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,320 Theater? 268 00:12:25,460 --> 00:12:27,600 I thought theater's just for fags. 269 00:12:28,030 --> 00:12:29,470 Not just. 270 00:12:29,590 --> 00:12:30,960 Are you a fag? 271 00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:34,130 Actually, are you a boy or a girl? 272 00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:37,870 You know you're going to hell, right, faggot? 273 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,040 You and all of your AIDS-y fag friends are gonna burn in hell. 274 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,740 ♪ Sodomy ♪ 275 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:48,490 ♪ Fellatio ♪ 276 00:12:48,610 --> 00:12:50,680 ♪ Cunnilingus ♪ 277 00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:54,330 ♪ Why do these words Sound so nasty? ♪ 278 00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:57,090 Hair, 1967. 279 00:12:57,220 --> 00:13:01,060 Galt McDermot, James Rado, Gerome Ragni, asshole. 280 00:13:01,190 --> 00:13:02,290 You tell 'em, Les. 281 00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:03,840 It's the age of Aquarius, man. 282 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,190 Let the sunshine in, you turd. 283 00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:09,200 You are so fucking weird. 284 00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:12,430 Yes, I am! 285 00:13:14,410 --> 00:13:15,580 (SIGHS) 286 00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:18,680 (BELL RINGS) 287 00:13:19,180 --> 00:13:20,420 For what we are about to receive, 288 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,490 may the Lord make us truly grateful. 289 00:13:22,610 --> 00:13:23,610 Amen. 290 00:13:24,850 --> 00:13:28,650 Uh, I have an announcement. 291 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,350 Two words. 292 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:34,520 You ready? 293 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,390 Were those them? 294 00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:38,430 No. 295 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:41,660 New Jersey. 296 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,130 (GASPS) Oh, my God! 297 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:45,930 I haven't even said what's in New Jersey. 298 00:13:46,070 --> 00:13:47,470 Les, what-- what are you doing? 299 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,010 Just being supportive. 300 00:13:50,510 --> 00:13:51,670 Uh, okay. 301 00:13:52,110 --> 00:13:54,310 So, I talked with Ed Monroe. 302 00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:57,760 The Barn Theater in New Jersey is ours if we want it. 303 00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:00,450 Now it's a family decision. We all get to vote-- 304 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,160 No, we're not moving to New Jersey. 305 00:14:02,290 --> 00:14:03,860 That's actually a good theater! Like, 1100 seats. 306 00:14:03,990 --> 00:14:05,320 - How much are they paying us? - Well-- 307 00:14:05,460 --> 00:14:07,470 No, I-I-- Dad, I like it here. Okay? 308 00:14:07,590 --> 00:14:10,060 I-I like my friends. I like my school. 309 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,400 I have a girlfriend, okay? I can't like... 310 00:14:12,530 --> 00:14:13,360 What's the point of doing anything 311 00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:14,630 if we always have to start over? 312 00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,470 Derrick, The Barn is a summer theater. 313 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:17,930 We'd be back in the fall. 314 00:14:18,070 --> 00:14:19,370 - Ding, ding, ding! - So, I got plans this summer. 315 00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:20,740 - Les. Can you... - What? 316 00:14:20,870 --> 00:14:23,270 You didn't even let me get to the fun part. 317 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,040 Milwaukee! 318 00:14:25,180 --> 00:14:27,520 - Oh, my God! - (SIGHS) 319 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,290 Ed also owns 320 00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:33,190 the Players Theater in Milwaukee. 321 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,620 Now if we do enough business this summer, 322 00:14:36,390 --> 00:14:37,530 he's going to offer us 323 00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:40,030 a five-year contract for both theaters. 324 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,390 No more season to season! 325 00:14:43,530 --> 00:14:44,860 That sounds too good to be true. 326 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,300 - (LAUGHING) Yes! - Wait. 327 00:14:46,430 --> 00:14:47,260 What if we don't do enough business at The Barn? 328 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,230 Well, then we're screwed. 329 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,310 If we all decide to go to The Barn, 330 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,600 then I have to give notice here so they have time to replace me. 331 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,670 And if we don't do 332 00:14:59,810 --> 00:15:02,640 enough business this summer, then we end up with... 333 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:04,810 (POPS) ...nothing. 334 00:15:04,950 --> 00:15:06,780 Of course. When is it ever easy? 335 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,490 I-I-I vote no. Okay? 336 00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:09,650 Enough. 337 00:15:09,790 --> 00:15:11,900 I... All I wanna do is play football 338 00:15:12,020 --> 00:15:13,160 and lose my virginity. 339 00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:14,920 That's not asking a lot. 340 00:15:15,060 --> 00:15:16,120 And I can't do either of those things 341 00:15:16,260 --> 00:15:17,760 if I'm constantly moving around. 342 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:19,000 I like it here. 343 00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:20,660 Okay? Please, just... 344 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,430 Les, how do you vote? 345 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:24,930 I vote... 346 00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:28,240 that we leave this ugly town. 347 00:15:28,370 --> 00:15:30,770 Okay, so we have one voting to stay, one to leave. 348 00:15:30,910 --> 00:15:31,970 You little shit. 349 00:15:32,110 --> 00:15:33,110 Don't say "shit" when we're eating. 350 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,310 Nobody likes me here, okay? 351 00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:37,090 Derrick, and you can play football anywhere. 352 00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:39,360 You can do better than Annabeth Devine. 353 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,820 I didn't wanna tell you this, 354 00:15:40,950 --> 00:15:42,680 but she told me her favorite Marx brother was Curly. 355 00:15:42,820 --> 00:15:44,150 Guess what? I don't give a shit who 356 00:15:44,290 --> 00:15:45,650 - her favorite Marx brother is. - Derrick. 357 00:15:45,790 --> 00:15:47,620 Curly isn't a Marx brother. He's Three Stooges! 358 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:49,060 That's very telling. 359 00:15:49,190 --> 00:15:51,030 What do you think, Mace, huh? 360 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,960 I mean, no pressure. 361 00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:55,400 This is just our entire future. 362 00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:56,630 Well, I know how you're gonna vote, 363 00:15:56,770 --> 00:15:58,880 and I know how you want me to vote. 364 00:16:00,070 --> 00:16:01,970 (MACY EXHALES) 365 00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:04,620 You're quite adorable when you get keyed up. 366 00:16:04,810 --> 00:16:06,740 Oh! I know it. 367 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,090 You're the biggest liar. You only ever think of yourself! 368 00:16:09,210 --> 00:16:10,850 No. That's not true. 369 00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:12,180 Just last night, I was up late 370 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,860 imagining what it must feel like to be you. 371 00:16:16,950 --> 00:16:19,590 But then, I got so bored. 372 00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:21,170 - (SHOUTS) - (YELPS) 373 00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:23,090 - Five years? - Yeah. 374 00:16:23,230 --> 00:16:24,730 We could have real lives. 375 00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,060 Yes! 376 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,240 - Wow! But... - (LES SCREAMS) 377 00:16:27,370 --> 00:16:28,510 You little asshole! 378 00:16:28,630 --> 00:16:29,760 - No, uh-uh, no, Derrick! - Come here! 379 00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:31,600 I'm just, I'm so afraid to be hopeful. 380 00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,880 This could be the biggest mistake we've ever made. 381 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,510 But Milwaukee could lead to bigger cities. 382 00:16:37,780 --> 00:16:41,050 Our name could finally mean something. 383 00:16:41,350 --> 00:16:42,750 This is what we've been waiting for. 384 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,210 But if it doesn't work, I mean... (GASPS) 385 00:16:45,350 --> 00:16:47,520 Honey, we'd be living in the car. 386 00:16:47,650 --> 00:16:49,780 That's a new low, even for us. 387 00:16:49,950 --> 00:16:52,420 Mace, it could be great. 388 00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:55,160 Well... (SIGHS) 389 00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:57,840 Great is the way I like it. (CHUCKLES WEAKLY) 390 00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:04,930 (CHEERS AND LAUGHS) 391 00:17:05,070 --> 00:17:06,070 Yes! 392 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,070 (BOTH CHEERING AND LAUGHING) 393 00:17:08,370 --> 00:17:10,710 Mwah! Oh, yes! Yes! Yes! 394 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,280 - (MUFFLED MUSIC) - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 395 00:17:13,410 --> 00:17:14,640 (BUDDY) Derrick? 396 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:17,910 (MUFFLED MUSIC CONTINUES) 397 00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:26,790 I know you're upset. 398 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,820 I'm not upset. 399 00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:30,830 - I'm not going. - (MUFFLED MUSIC STOPS) 400 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,890 I'll stay here with Annabeth's family. 401 00:17:33,030 --> 00:17:35,530 That is never going to happen. 402 00:17:35,670 --> 00:17:37,440 I got a job at Foot Locker. 403 00:17:37,570 --> 00:17:39,430 I'll stay with her family, pay her family rent. 404 00:17:39,570 --> 00:17:41,600 I'll stay in school. I'm almost 18 anyway. 405 00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:42,740 You're 16. 406 00:17:42,870 --> 00:17:43,840 I'm happy here. 407 00:17:43,970 --> 00:17:45,110 You're gonna be happy there too. 408 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:46,640 I'm happy here. 409 00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:48,820 Okay? I hate always saying goodbye to everyone. 410 00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:51,190 Well, you won't have to say goodbye for five years. 411 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,120 If we even make it there! 412 00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:56,050 This is yours, Les and Mom's dream. 413 00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:57,820 Theater, it's all right, 414 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,100 except it's bullshit. It's not real. 415 00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:03,300 Real is so overrated, Derrick. 416 00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:04,830 I-I-I have a girlfriend here. You-- 417 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,690 You'll have a dozen girlfriends. 418 00:18:06,830 --> 00:18:09,060 And that's life. You don't-- You don't stop at the first one. 419 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,730 So I should just sleep around? Is that what you're telling me? 420 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,550 - Yes. - (SCOFFS) 421 00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:16,700 I wish someone would've told me. 422 00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:19,910 Look, Derrick, you're a great looking kid... 423 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,280 You're not listening. 424 00:18:21,410 --> 00:18:22,580 That's the last thing I think about, you know? 425 00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,750 Did you know that more Playboy Playmates 426 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:28,250 come out of Milwaukee than any other town? 427 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:31,060 Dad, you can't just make things up 428 00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:32,520 and then think that they're true. 429 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:37,170 Derrick, you have to dream things into happening. 430 00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:39,840 You have to dream bigger than you are. 431 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,400 And you have to find work that you love, 432 00:18:43,530 --> 00:18:47,070 and then you bring that love into work with you. 433 00:18:47,670 --> 00:18:51,340 (STAMMERS) Who would rather work at the Foot Locker 434 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,750 when you could work in the theater? 435 00:18:56,050 --> 00:18:57,420 Me! 436 00:18:57,820 --> 00:18:58,860 (SCOFFS) 437 00:18:58,980 --> 00:19:02,550 ("WALK OF LIFE" BY DIRE STRAITS PLAYING) 438 00:19:02,690 --> 00:19:05,200 Thirteen, fourteen. All bags are accounted for. 439 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:06,520 You gonna be okay there, Annabeth? 440 00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:08,900 - (SOBS) - Okay then. 441 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:15,070 Goodbye, Akron. I will not be back. 442 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,930 There are places I like better. 443 00:19:17,070 --> 00:19:20,880 Derrick, come on. Chop, chop. Get the show on the road. 444 00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:25,040 ("WALK OF LIFE" BY DIRE STRAITS CONTINUES) 445 00:19:25,180 --> 00:19:27,080 (HORN HONKS) 446 00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:36,150 ♪ Here comes Johnny Singing oldies goldies ♪ 447 00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:38,900 ♪ "Be-Bop-A-Lula" "Baby What I Say" ♪ 448 00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:41,690 ♪ Here comes Johnny Singing "I Got a Woman" ♪ 449 00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:44,800 ♪ Down in the tunnels Trying to make it pay ♪ 450 00:19:44,930 --> 00:19:47,660 ♪ He got the action He got the motion ♪ 451 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,260 ♪ Oh, yeah The boy can play ♪ 452 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,930 ♪ Dedication Devotion ♪ 453 00:19:53,070 --> 00:19:55,240 ♪ Turning all the night time Into the day ♪ 454 00:19:55,370 --> 00:19:57,740 ♪ He do the song About the sweet lovin' woman ♪ 455 00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,680 ♪ He do the song About the knife ♪ 456 00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:00,740 (MUSIC MUFFLES) 457 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,240 ♪ They do the walk ♪ 458 00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:05,180 What's our address out there? 459 00:20:05,650 --> 00:20:08,380 - Hmm... - We're not exactly sure. 460 00:20:08,890 --> 00:20:11,900 Remember Dee Baskin, who played Anybodys in West Side Story? 461 00:20:12,020 --> 00:20:13,760 - In real life too. - (CHUCKLES) 462 00:20:13,890 --> 00:20:16,690 She sells real estate in New Jersey now. 463 00:20:16,830 --> 00:20:19,970 We are going to stay in empty houses Dee Baskin's selling. 464 00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:21,640 (SCOFFS) Do the owners know? 465 00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:24,740 - (BOTH GROAN) - Great. We're squatters. 466 00:20:24,870 --> 00:20:26,070 We're enterprising. 467 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,840 I'll just tell Annabeth to address her letters 468 00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:29,970 to "Empty houses Dee Baskin is selling." 469 00:20:30,110 --> 00:20:31,550 Derrick, you're handsome. 470 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,150 You'll be single for an hour wherever we go. 471 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,290 I don't give a red hot shit about how I look, okay? 472 00:20:35,410 --> 00:20:37,850 I wish everyone would just shut up about how I looked. 473 00:20:37,980 --> 00:20:39,280 - (LAUGHS) - What? 474 00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:41,160 Oh, my God, you got lipstick all over your face! 475 00:20:41,290 --> 00:20:42,890 - Shit. - (LAUGHS) 476 00:20:43,020 --> 00:20:44,390 Is it gone? 477 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:45,820 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. You got it. 478 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,070 ("I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR-GENERAL" PLAYING) 479 00:20:49,060 --> 00:20:51,830 ♪ I am the very model Of a modern Major-General ♪ 480 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,500 ♪ I've information vegetable Animal and mineral ♪ 481 00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:55,900 ♪ I know the kings of England ♪ 482 00:20:56,030 --> 00:20:57,630 ♪ And I quote The fights historical ♪ 483 00:20:57,770 --> 00:21:00,130 ♪ From Marathon to Waterloo In order categorical ♪ 484 00:21:00,270 --> 00:21:01,970 Ha ha! 485 00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:04,880 ♪ I'm very well-acquainted too With matters mathematical ♪ 486 00:21:05,010 --> 00:21:06,310 ♪ I understand equations ♪ 487 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:07,580 ♪ Both the simple And quadratical ♪ 488 00:21:07,710 --> 00:21:08,980 ♪ About binomial theorem ♪ 489 00:21:09,110 --> 00:21:11,450 ♪ I am teeming With a lot o' news ♪ 490 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:13,680 Oh, yes. 491 00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:15,180 ♪ With many cheerful facts ♪ 492 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,350 ♪ About the square Of the hypotenuse ♪ 493 00:21:17,490 --> 00:21:18,850 ♪ With many cheerful facts ♪ 494 00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:20,320 ♪ About the square Of the hypotenuse ♪ 495 00:21:20,460 --> 00:21:21,820 ♪ With many cheerful facts ♪ 496 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,260 ♪ About the square Of the hypotenuse ♪ 497 00:21:23,390 --> 00:21:24,860 ♪ With many cheerful facts ♪ 498 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,670 ♪ About the square Of the hypoten-potenuse ♪ 499 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,770 - (ARPEGGIO PLAYS) - Mom! 500 00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:31,370 ♪ I'm very good at integral And differential calculus ♪ 501 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:34,040 ♪ I know the scientific names Of beings animalculous ♪ 502 00:21:34,170 --> 00:21:36,800 ♪ In short in matters vegetable Animal and mineral ♪ 503 00:21:36,940 --> 00:21:39,210 ♪ I am the very model Of a modern Major-General ♪ 504 00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:41,980 ♪ In short in matters vegetable Animal and mineral ♪ 505 00:21:42,110 --> 00:21:45,210 ♪ He is the very model Of a modern Major-General ♪ 506 00:21:45,350 --> 00:21:46,580 - (CHUCKLES) - Derrick! 507 00:21:48,490 --> 00:21:49,660 (BUDDY) Derrick? 508 00:21:50,290 --> 00:21:51,460 (MACY) Derrick? 509 00:21:51,890 --> 00:21:53,460 - Oh, my God. - (SONG CONTINUES) 510 00:21:53,590 --> 00:21:54,820 (ACTOR) ♪ I know our mythic history ♪ 511 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:55,990 ♪ King Arthur's And Sir Caradoc's ♪ 512 00:21:56,130 --> 00:21:57,570 ♪ I answer hard acrostics ♪ 513 00:21:57,700 --> 00:21:58,570 ♪ I've a pretty taste For paradox ♪ 514 00:21:58,700 --> 00:21:59,940 ♪ I quote in elegiacs ♪ 515 00:22:00,060 --> 00:22:01,560 ♪ All the crimes Of Heliogabalus ♪ 516 00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:04,370 ♪ In conics I can floor Peculiarities parabolous ♪ 517 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:05,970 (PERSON COUGHS) 518 00:22:06,100 --> 00:22:07,500 ♪ I can tell Undoubted Raphaels ♪ 519 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,000 ♪ From Gerard Dows And Zoffanies ♪ 520 00:22:09,140 --> 00:22:10,370 ♪ I know the croaking chorus ♪ 521 00:22:10,510 --> 00:22:11,610 ♪ From the frogs Of Aristophanes ♪ 522 00:22:11,740 --> 00:22:13,240 ♪ Then I can hum a fugue ♪ 523 00:22:13,380 --> 00:22:14,850 ♪ Of which I've heard The music's din afore ♪ 524 00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:17,980 Din afore? Din afore? Din afore? Ah. 525 00:22:18,450 --> 00:22:19,850 ♪ And whistle all the airs ♪ 526 00:22:19,980 --> 00:22:21,520 ♪ From that infernal nonsense Pinafore ♪ 527 00:22:21,650 --> 00:22:23,050 ♪ And whistle all the airs ♪ 528 00:22:23,190 --> 00:22:24,230 ♪ From that infernal nonsense Pinafore ♪ 529 00:22:24,350 --> 00:22:25,790 ♪ And whistle all the airs ♪ 530 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:26,920 ♪ From that infernal nonsense Pinafore ♪ 531 00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:28,600 ♪ And whistle all the airs ♪ 532 00:22:28,730 --> 00:22:30,430 ♪ From that infernal nonsense Pina-Pinafore ♪ 533 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:31,590 (ARPEGGIO PLAYS) 534 00:22:31,730 --> 00:22:33,090 ♪ For my military knowledge ♪ 535 00:22:33,230 --> 00:22:34,260 ♪ Though I'm plucky And adventury ♪ 536 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:35,660 ♪ Has only been brought down ♪ 537 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,300 ♪ To the beginning Of the century ♪ 538 00:22:37,430 --> 00:22:38,970 ♪ But still in matters Vegetable, animal and mineral ♪ 539 00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:40,900 ♪ I am the very model Of a modern Major-General ♪ 540 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,040 ♪ But still in matters Vegetable, animal and mineral ♪ 541 00:22:43,170 --> 00:22:45,740 ♪ He is the very model Of a modern Major-General ♪ 542 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,150 (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) 543 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,050 (APPLAUSE CONTINUES) 544 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:56,920 (WHISPERS) What the fuck! 545 00:22:57,050 --> 00:22:58,920 (WOMAN) Bravo! 546 00:22:59,060 --> 00:23:00,800 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) 547 00:23:00,930 --> 00:23:04,140 - (BUDDY HUMMING) - (MACY SIGHS) 548 00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:07,970 Is that the smile you're gonna wear? 549 00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:09,630 Well, I don't have a poker face. You know that. 550 00:23:09,770 --> 00:23:11,140 Come on, the show was great. 551 00:23:11,270 --> 00:23:12,700 Yeah, but the house wasn't. 552 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,480 Seriously, Ed Monroe did not look happy. 553 00:23:15,610 --> 00:23:16,910 What are we gonna say to Ed? 554 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,670 - Ed! Congratulations! - Ed! Congratulations! 555 00:23:19,810 --> 00:23:21,110 Beautiful production, Buddy. 556 00:23:21,250 --> 00:23:22,750 Well, if you're happy, we're happy. 557 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,610 - I'm not happy. - Oh. 558 00:23:24,750 --> 00:23:27,250 - Where was the audience? - Oh, listen. 559 00:23:27,650 --> 00:23:29,520 Wait until the reviews come out. 560 00:23:29,650 --> 00:23:30,720 Word of mouth will spread. 561 00:23:30,860 --> 00:23:31,860 We'll be selling out every night. 562 00:23:31,990 --> 00:23:34,890 We better, 'cause this won't do. 563 00:23:35,030 --> 00:23:36,800 (MACY) We hear you, Ed. We're on it. 564 00:23:36,930 --> 00:23:39,040 (BUDDY) All over it. Don't worry about a thing. 565 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:40,330 Buddy, honey, I want you to meet Fred. 566 00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:41,530 - I'll bring him right back. - (MACY) Please. 567 00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:42,740 I will. 568 00:23:42,870 --> 00:23:45,240 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (SIGHS) 569 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,780 (CHATTER AND LAUGHTER) 570 00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:49,700 No. 571 00:23:49,910 --> 00:23:52,450 No, the first time I kissed a girl, 572 00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:55,750 she stuck her tongue in my mouth, moved it around... 573 00:23:56,110 --> 00:23:57,980 I thought she was having a seizure. 574 00:23:58,150 --> 00:23:59,850 Wow, Kyle. 'Cause, you know, 575 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:02,020 you look like you were born without your virginity. 576 00:24:02,150 --> 00:24:03,550 (CHUCKLES) 577 00:24:04,050 --> 00:24:05,320 So, uh... 578 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,290 how do you act sexy? 579 00:24:08,430 --> 00:24:11,000 It's more like thinking. Hm? 580 00:24:11,130 --> 00:24:12,360 You know, when I go up to a girl, 581 00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:15,510 I'm not worrying, "How will I impress her?" 582 00:24:15,630 --> 00:24:17,030 "What am I gonna say?" No. 583 00:24:17,170 --> 00:24:19,740 You think one thing, very clearly, 584 00:24:19,870 --> 00:24:21,840 over and over when you approach... 585 00:24:23,470 --> 00:24:24,470 What? 586 00:24:24,610 --> 00:24:26,740 "I have a foot-long penis." 587 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,350 "I have a foot-long penis." 588 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,460 And then just be whatever she wants you to be. 589 00:24:32,580 --> 00:24:34,380 You're an actor. You could do that. 590 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:35,780 And it's sexy. 591 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,220 Oh, also, try and go for the plainer girls 592 00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:41,200 who think you're out of their league. 593 00:24:41,330 --> 00:24:43,000 Flattered sex is amazing. 594 00:24:43,130 --> 00:24:46,640 Now you try. "I have a foot-long penis." 595 00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:48,930 Oh, really? Just-- 596 00:24:49,070 --> 00:24:50,640 Yeah, no, really. It works every time. 597 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:53,310 Okay. 598 00:25:10,150 --> 00:25:12,090 You're a very weird kid, Les. 599 00:25:12,420 --> 00:25:13,620 Thanks. 600 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,790 (HARD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 601 00:25:24,570 --> 00:25:26,670 (MUSIC CONTINUES MUFFLED) 602 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:35,740 Tonight was fun. 603 00:25:36,580 --> 00:25:39,050 How can you act like we're not in some serious shit right now? 604 00:25:39,180 --> 00:25:40,580 All I said was tonight was fun. 605 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:44,120 Ed Monroe is not happy. We're about to lose everything. 606 00:25:44,250 --> 00:25:46,520 Do you even care about your family at all? 607 00:25:46,660 --> 00:25:47,670 This is just what we do, Macy. 608 00:25:47,790 --> 00:25:49,020 What do we do? 609 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,890 We struggle, you freak. It works out, we repeat. 610 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:54,610 That is not our thing. 611 00:25:54,730 --> 00:25:56,060 That is-- That's a terrible thing. 612 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:57,400 But it's ours. 613 00:25:57,530 --> 00:25:58,370 Well, it's not the way I see it. 614 00:25:58,500 --> 00:25:59,800 Well, how do you see it? 615 00:25:59,940 --> 00:26:03,050 I see to it we scrape by, by any means possible 616 00:26:03,170 --> 00:26:05,040 while you promise us this great future. 617 00:26:05,180 --> 00:26:07,350 - Okay, okay, come on. - It's exhausting, Buddy. 618 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,190 I am lonely, and it's turning me into some kind of a shrew. 619 00:26:09,310 --> 00:26:10,380 Macy, please. It's okay. 620 00:26:10,510 --> 00:26:12,280 I'm actually repelling people now, 621 00:26:12,420 --> 00:26:13,590 and I don't blame them. 622 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,850 I'm even repelling you! 623 00:26:15,990 --> 00:26:17,330 We're about to lose everything, 624 00:26:17,450 --> 00:26:19,220 and you're talking about what fun you had at a party. 625 00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:20,530 (GROANS) 626 00:26:20,660 --> 00:26:23,600 You know, it would be nice if just once 627 00:26:23,730 --> 00:26:26,160 you showed a little faith in me. 628 00:26:26,300 --> 00:26:27,600 Just a little. 629 00:26:27,730 --> 00:26:30,260 You, you put so much faith in your invisible God. 630 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,300 Well, I'm actually here, and you have none in me. 631 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,880 Because you promised we'd make it in five years! 632 00:26:36,010 --> 00:26:37,720 Wishing things won't work, Buddy. 633 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,370 This is my dream too! 634 00:26:39,510 --> 00:26:42,710 I have given us a big life! 635 00:26:42,850 --> 00:26:44,160 A unique one. 636 00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,110 Don't treat that like it's nothing. 637 00:26:46,250 --> 00:26:47,110 (MACY SIGHS) 638 00:26:47,250 --> 00:26:48,850 And we're not doing so badly. 639 00:26:48,990 --> 00:26:50,460 No, we're doing horribly! 640 00:26:50,590 --> 00:26:52,430 - Oh, my-- - We have kids. 641 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,130 You wanted to wait so long 642 00:26:54,260 --> 00:26:55,590 'cause you didn't wanna make the same mistakes 643 00:26:55,730 --> 00:26:56,800 as your mean dead aunts, 644 00:26:56,930 --> 00:26:58,640 but your mistakes are just as bad. 645 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,800 - We're living hand-to-mouth... - Ha! Jee-- I mean-- 646 00:27:00,930 --> 00:27:02,830 ...in empty houses Dee Baskin is selling. 647 00:27:02,970 --> 00:27:04,080 What's your plan B? 648 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,630 We are not living hand-to-mouth. 649 00:27:06,770 --> 00:27:09,140 We are so rich in so many ways, 650 00:27:09,270 --> 00:27:11,610 but the only thing you ever see is what we don't have. 651 00:27:11,740 --> 00:27:13,540 Yeah, well, unless we get some butts in those seats, 652 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:15,690 I don't know where we're going. Where are we going, Buddy? 653 00:27:15,810 --> 00:27:19,510 As I've said all along, we are either all in or we're not. 654 00:27:19,650 --> 00:27:21,250 I will make this work! 655 00:27:22,150 --> 00:27:24,790 All right? I promise. 656 00:27:26,460 --> 00:27:27,460 (DOOR SLAMS) 657 00:27:28,860 --> 00:27:30,120 (GROANS) 658 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,370 (DISTANT SIREN WAILS) 659 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:49,340 Come on, go to sleep. 660 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,880 Your mom and I were just rehearsing. 661 00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:57,850 (WHISPERS) I don't know how, 662 00:27:58,620 --> 00:28:01,790 but your mom will blame me if she knows you're still up. 663 00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:04,170 How old were you when you married Mom? 664 00:28:04,290 --> 00:28:06,430 You know we don't do age in this house. 665 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:08,410 (EXHALES) 666 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:12,300 (BUDDY SIGHS) 667 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,870 She was so much fun, your mom. 668 00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:20,450 No, she really was. 669 00:28:21,180 --> 00:28:22,610 But she couldn't say, "I love you" 670 00:28:22,750 --> 00:28:26,320 unless she really felt it deeply. 671 00:28:27,180 --> 00:28:29,950 I could say "love" like other people say "envelope," 672 00:28:30,090 --> 00:28:31,700 I'm so shallow. 673 00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:34,020 So I admire that in her. 674 00:28:35,590 --> 00:28:37,060 What was your mom like? 675 00:28:37,190 --> 00:28:39,390 Oh, I really don't remember her. 676 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,110 She walked out when I was only four, 677 00:28:41,230 --> 00:28:42,730 didn't even shut the door. 678 00:28:43,070 --> 00:28:47,280 I had to live with my aunts, Astrid and Reliance. 679 00:28:47,670 --> 00:28:48,840 God. 680 00:28:49,340 --> 00:28:53,540 So, your mom could be anywhere in the world, 681 00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:54,620 you'd never know it. 682 00:28:54,740 --> 00:28:57,640 Yeah. People are shits. 683 00:28:58,950 --> 00:29:01,020 But that's on them. 684 00:29:01,150 --> 00:29:03,020 How you treat people is more important. 685 00:29:03,150 --> 00:29:07,390 And, Les, you have a huge capacity for kindness. 686 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,270 Yeah, yeah, I know. 687 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:11,860 I didn't learn anything about love 688 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,410 from Astrid and Reliance. 689 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:16,500 I got all that from your mother. 690 00:29:17,430 --> 00:29:18,570 Yeah. 691 00:29:18,740 --> 00:29:20,180 And you two monsters. 692 00:29:22,510 --> 00:29:23,920 Can you imagine your mother's face 693 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:25,610 when the money comes in? 694 00:29:26,580 --> 00:29:27,680 Wow. (LAUGHS) 695 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:30,680 Oh, that would be something. 696 00:29:35,020 --> 00:29:37,020 I wish I knew how to do it. 697 00:29:39,990 --> 00:29:41,320 We will. 698 00:29:43,730 --> 00:29:45,040 I know. 699 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,670 - (BAGPIPES PLAYING) - (DOGS BARKING) 700 00:29:56,470 --> 00:29:57,970 (GROANS) 701 00:30:02,710 --> 00:30:06,010 (DISTANT TRAIN HORN BLARES) 702 00:30:08,590 --> 00:30:10,860 - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - Yeah? 703 00:30:11,790 --> 00:30:13,420 - Hey. - Hey. 704 00:30:13,690 --> 00:30:17,260 I told Les I'd drop these off to him. 705 00:30:17,790 --> 00:30:18,930 Did he tell you I was coming by? 706 00:30:19,060 --> 00:30:20,530 No, of course not. (CHUCKLES) 707 00:30:20,860 --> 00:30:22,400 Books on acting. 708 00:30:22,530 --> 00:30:24,970 Oh, I don't know if I should thank you or throw them at you. 709 00:30:26,900 --> 00:30:29,100 I tell you what, you wash, I'll dry. 710 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:30,540 Then I got to get to rehearsal. 711 00:30:30,670 --> 00:30:31,870 Deal. (CLEARS THROAT) 712 00:30:32,010 --> 00:30:33,440 Thank you. 713 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,310 (EXHALES) So, what's your story? 714 00:30:37,850 --> 00:30:39,090 Where you from, anyway? 715 00:30:39,220 --> 00:30:41,690 Arkansas City, Kansas. You ever hear of it? 716 00:30:42,420 --> 00:30:43,880 - No, never will. - (CHUCKLES) 717 00:30:44,220 --> 00:30:45,820 So what do you do for fun in Arkansas? 718 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,100 (MACY LAUGHS) 719 00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:49,460 Oh, think of ways to get out, mostly. 720 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:51,930 But looking back, I was happy then, 721 00:30:52,060 --> 00:30:53,960 and didn't even know it. 722 00:30:54,500 --> 00:30:56,430 Maybe that's just being young. 723 00:30:57,130 --> 00:31:00,730 But I was Queen of the Arkalala Festival. 724 00:31:00,870 --> 00:31:02,840 Oh, I knew you looked familiar. 725 00:31:02,970 --> 00:31:05,010 (MACY LAUGHS) 726 00:31:05,140 --> 00:31:06,610 My nickname growing up was Bigfoot 727 00:31:06,740 --> 00:31:08,510 'cause I was six feet by the time I was twelve. 728 00:31:08,650 --> 00:31:10,850 So you could've knocked me over when I got that crown. 729 00:31:10,980 --> 00:31:12,710 It sounds like an honor, 730 00:31:12,850 --> 00:31:16,180 but pretty slim pickings in Arkansas, I admit it. 731 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:17,850 - (LAUGHS) - Is that where you met Buddy? 732 00:31:17,990 --> 00:31:20,450 No, we met at a theater party. 733 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,090 I think he always thought 734 00:31:22,230 --> 00:31:24,070 I was gonna be that kind of party happy. 735 00:31:24,190 --> 00:31:27,060 And I let him. We married a week later. 736 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:28,370 Mm. 737 00:31:28,500 --> 00:31:29,700 It was like there was a spotlight on him 738 00:31:29,830 --> 00:31:31,400 anywhere he'd go. 739 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,570 And he chose me. 740 00:31:35,070 --> 00:31:36,270 Hmm. 741 00:31:37,340 --> 00:31:38,640 It's hard being the plus one 742 00:31:38,780 --> 00:31:41,190 in your own life sometimes, though, you know? 743 00:31:41,610 --> 00:31:44,450 I've never felt like a plus one before. 744 00:31:44,710 --> 00:31:46,810 (LAUGHS) No. 745 00:31:46,950 --> 00:31:48,420 - What? - No. 746 00:31:48,550 --> 00:31:50,380 (LAUGHS) Well... 747 00:31:51,260 --> 00:31:52,460 - What? - Nothing. 748 00:31:52,590 --> 00:31:53,990 - (LAUGHS) - (CLEARS THROAT) 749 00:31:54,220 --> 00:31:56,020 I don't see him going anywhere. 750 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,130 No. Mm-mm. He's not. 751 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:00,560 I am. 752 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:02,760 Rehearsals. 753 00:32:02,900 --> 00:32:04,070 (MACY CHUCKLES) 754 00:32:04,770 --> 00:32:06,370 Thanks for the books. 755 00:32:06,500 --> 00:32:08,800 And in the future, when Les is on unemployment, 756 00:32:08,940 --> 00:32:10,340 we'll think of you. 757 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:17,540 (QUIRKY UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) 758 00:32:35,630 --> 00:32:37,260 (BUDDY) Thank you for the tour. 759 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,330 I've been looking for a really nice place to worship. 760 00:32:40,470 --> 00:32:41,770 You're very welcome here. 761 00:32:41,910 --> 00:32:43,250 - Oh. - Anytime. 762 00:32:43,370 --> 00:32:46,040 Thank you. How many parishioners do you have here? 763 00:32:46,180 --> 00:32:48,790 I would say 120. 764 00:32:49,550 --> 00:32:50,850 Oh... 765 00:32:50,980 --> 00:32:52,780 Well, it's a start. 766 00:32:53,020 --> 00:32:54,460 Very nice. 767 00:32:55,020 --> 00:32:56,820 Rabbi, how many members are there 768 00:32:56,950 --> 00:32:58,720 in the temple's congregation? 769 00:32:58,860 --> 00:33:02,300 The masonry itself is just spectacular. 770 00:33:04,060 --> 00:33:05,330 As the newest member 771 00:33:05,460 --> 00:33:08,800 of the Ascension Greek Orthodox Church, 772 00:33:08,930 --> 00:33:10,430 I would love to organize 773 00:33:10,570 --> 00:33:13,380 a theater party for all our parishioners. 774 00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:15,970 So Catholics can come to our productions 775 00:33:16,110 --> 00:33:18,280 at a much reduced rate... 776 00:33:19,410 --> 00:33:21,240 seeing that I'm one of you now. 777 00:33:22,180 --> 00:33:24,250 Buddy, that's horrible. 778 00:33:24,380 --> 00:33:26,410 How many churches did you join? 779 00:33:26,550 --> 00:33:27,650 Eleven. 780 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,250 What? You're always after me to join the church. 781 00:33:31,390 --> 00:33:34,690 Buddy, it's a sin to lie to a man of the cloth! 782 00:33:34,820 --> 00:33:36,190 Who lied? 783 00:33:36,330 --> 00:33:39,040 I said I wanted to join the church, I joined. 784 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:40,490 Well, you're sending yourself to hell. 785 00:33:40,630 --> 00:33:42,300 I hope you know that. Straight to hell. 786 00:33:42,430 --> 00:33:44,400 I'm doubling our subscriptions. 787 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,440 - Seriously? - (DEVIOUSLY) Yes. 788 00:33:56,380 --> 00:33:57,640 (POPS MOUTH) 789 00:34:02,020 --> 00:34:03,580 (SIGHS AND CHUCKLES) 790 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,620 I bet I could get us a balcony full of Episcopalians then. 791 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:07,660 (LAUGHS) Yes! 792 00:34:07,790 --> 00:34:09,320 Holy cow! 793 00:34:09,460 --> 00:34:11,060 (LAUGHING AND GROANING) 794 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:12,570 (GASPS) 795 00:34:12,700 --> 00:34:16,470 Oh, my God, you look exactly like the girl I married. 796 00:34:17,730 --> 00:34:19,000 Wow. 797 00:34:19,570 --> 00:34:21,600 Or maybe we always see the people we love 798 00:34:21,740 --> 00:34:23,900 the way they looked when we first fell in love with 'em. 799 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:24,970 I'm not like that girl. 800 00:34:25,110 --> 00:34:26,440 Oh, you're not? 801 00:34:26,580 --> 00:34:29,090 You said, "Holy cow!" 802 00:34:29,210 --> 00:34:30,780 Maybe you don't see it, but I do. 803 00:34:30,910 --> 00:34:32,680 You just want to see it. 804 00:34:34,420 --> 00:34:37,320 I told you I was gonna make this happen, Macy. 805 00:34:40,690 --> 00:34:42,920 You're very sexy when you get all self-starty. 806 00:34:44,290 --> 00:34:47,290 Wow, get used to that. 807 00:34:49,370 --> 00:34:51,980 What? What are you doing? 808 00:34:52,100 --> 00:34:53,400 - Come here. - What? 809 00:34:53,540 --> 00:34:55,110 We have just enough time for a quickie. 810 00:34:55,340 --> 00:34:56,640 (LAUGHS) What? 811 00:34:56,940 --> 00:34:58,710 (MACY) Come on, right here on the counter. 812 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,240 We'll turn off the lights. Save on the electricity bill. 813 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,550 Macy? We can't, we don't have time. 814 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,010 - Five minutes, tops. - No. Look, 815 00:35:06,150 --> 00:35:08,550 Les could be here any second with-- 816 00:35:08,690 --> 00:35:10,490 with Fritzi and Loud Sue and the rest of the gang. 817 00:35:10,620 --> 00:35:12,020 When is Les ever on time? 818 00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:13,860 Oh, my God! 819 00:35:13,990 --> 00:35:16,090 (LAUGHS) 820 00:35:16,230 --> 00:35:19,840 You are my favorite wife ever! 821 00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:23,930 Ooh! 822 00:35:25,900 --> 00:35:28,670 I'm gonna go to the store to get beer for everyone. 823 00:35:28,810 --> 00:35:29,780 (DOOR OPENS) 824 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:32,650 (DOOR CLOSES) 825 00:35:34,180 --> 00:35:35,450 Macy, this is the best brownie 826 00:35:35,580 --> 00:35:37,140 I've ever had in my entire mouth. 827 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:38,750 (LAUGHS) 828 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,480 Dad, can we do On Borrowed Time when we get to Milwaukee? 829 00:35:40,620 --> 00:35:41,860 If we get to Milwaukee. 830 00:35:41,990 --> 00:35:43,860 Honestly, Les. You only ever want to do plays 831 00:35:43,990 --> 00:35:45,400 with parts for you in it. 832 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,950 Well, you got to audition like everybody else, sport. 833 00:35:48,090 --> 00:35:49,760 (WOMAN) Barbra Streisand made me her Brooklyn brownie 834 00:35:49,890 --> 00:35:52,360 when I was with the Broadway company of Funny Girl. 835 00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:54,610 (CHUCKLES) It doesn't compare to this. 836 00:35:54,730 --> 00:35:57,330 They always make me audition. I hate auditioning for them. 837 00:35:57,470 --> 00:35:59,340 (WOMAN) Kyle, you're the first person 838 00:35:59,470 --> 00:36:00,270 who didn't look impressed when I happen to mention 839 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:01,570 I worked with Barbra. 840 00:36:01,710 --> 00:36:02,910 And they always say the same thing 841 00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:04,510 after every audition. 842 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,070 (BOTH) Thank you, Les. We'll call you. 843 00:36:07,210 --> 00:36:08,740 You know, and they never call. 844 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:10,510 I have to audition again tomorrow. 845 00:36:10,650 --> 00:36:12,460 Brighton Beach Memoirs. It's the lead. 846 00:36:12,580 --> 00:36:13,810 I was the first replacement, 847 00:36:13,950 --> 00:36:16,750 Mrs. Strakosh, in the original show. (LAUGHS) 848 00:36:16,890 --> 00:36:18,230 Does that make me too old for you? 849 00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:19,730 No. It's your age that does. 850 00:36:20,290 --> 00:36:21,420 (RINGING) 851 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,090 That's my beeper. 852 00:36:23,460 --> 00:36:25,660 Oh, I gotta check my answering service. 853 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,240 - Oh, maybe it's your big break. - Yeah. 854 00:36:28,370 --> 00:36:30,240 Hey, Macy, can I use your phone? Whoa. 855 00:36:30,370 --> 00:36:32,010 - Of course. - Thanks. 856 00:36:32,540 --> 00:36:35,050 Relax, dear. He plays for my team, not yours. 857 00:36:35,170 --> 00:36:37,270 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 858 00:36:37,410 --> 00:36:39,650 (BUDDY) There you go. You got it. 859 00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:43,650 (QUIRKY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS) 860 00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:50,950 Les Smart. 861 00:36:51,990 --> 00:36:53,450 It's Lester. 862 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:00,930 (BUDDY CLEARS THROAT) 863 00:37:01,370 --> 00:37:03,040 Whenever you're ready, Lester. 864 00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:05,770 Oh, yeah. 865 00:37:06,300 --> 00:37:08,200 - (BUDDY) * One... ♪ - (LES) Two, shoulders up. 866 00:37:08,340 --> 00:37:09,870 (BOTH) * Singular sensation Every little step she takes ♪ 867 00:37:10,010 --> 00:37:11,520 (LES) Point and point. And step. 868 00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:12,810 Hat to the head. Three, four. 869 00:37:12,940 --> 00:37:14,810 - * One ♪ - Elbow right, down. 870 00:37:14,940 --> 00:37:18,240 ♪ Brilliant combination Every move that she makes ♪ 871 00:37:18,380 --> 00:37:20,180 Step, brush, three, four. 872 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,590 ♪ One smile And suddenly nobody else ♪ 873 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:26,950 Step, flick, step, up, step and step, slow. 874 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:29,470 ♪ You know you'll never Be lonely ♪ 875 00:37:29,590 --> 00:37:30,660 (LES) Kick, step, brush. 876 00:37:30,790 --> 00:37:32,590 ♪ With you-know-who ♪ 877 00:37:32,730 --> 00:37:34,900 - Five, six. Back, back! - (BUDDY CONTINUES SINGING) 878 00:37:35,030 --> 00:37:38,200 Yes, Tiffany, find your light, pop, good. 879 00:37:38,330 --> 00:37:40,130 ♪ And you can forget the rest ♪ 880 00:37:40,270 --> 00:37:41,440 ♪ Diddla-diddla-do ♪ 881 00:37:41,570 --> 00:37:44,140 ♪ For the girl is second best ♪ 882 00:37:44,270 --> 00:37:48,270 ♪ To none, son ♪ 883 00:37:48,750 --> 00:37:50,320 ♪ Ooh, sigh ♪ 884 00:37:50,450 --> 00:37:52,190 ♪ Give her your attention ♪ 885 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,890 ♪ Do I really have to mention ♪ 886 00:37:56,020 --> 00:38:01,660 ♪ She's the one ♪ 887 00:38:01,890 --> 00:38:04,530 (HUMMING) 888 00:38:05,330 --> 00:38:06,860 When do we hear about Milwaukee? 889 00:38:07,300 --> 00:38:09,410 Shouldn't we have heard something already? 890 00:38:09,900 --> 00:38:14,440 Derrick, what are you gonna do when the money comes in? 891 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:15,840 Hmm? 892 00:38:15,970 --> 00:38:17,240 - When the money comes in? - Yeah. 893 00:38:17,370 --> 00:38:18,640 I'm gonna get Green Bay season tickets 894 00:38:18,780 --> 00:38:20,450 right at the 50-yard line. 895 00:38:20,580 --> 00:38:22,120 I mean, everyone's writing them off, 896 00:38:22,250 --> 00:38:23,690 but I don't know. 897 00:38:26,050 --> 00:38:28,210 Well, what are we gonna do if Milwaukee doesn't happen? 898 00:38:28,350 --> 00:38:32,890 Oh, it will happen. Everything's gonna be great. 899 00:38:33,020 --> 00:38:35,560 But, I mean, like, do we have a place to go? 900 00:38:35,690 --> 00:38:37,760 Because eventually Dee Baskin's gonna sell a house. 901 00:38:37,890 --> 00:38:40,630 No, we are all in on this one. 902 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,960 But, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. 903 00:38:44,100 --> 00:38:45,770 (SMACKS LIPS) The bigger the loss. 904 00:38:47,140 --> 00:38:49,450 I mean... (STAMMERS) how will we even pay for food? 905 00:38:49,570 --> 00:38:50,870 - Theater tickets. - Theater tickets. 906 00:38:51,010 --> 00:38:52,080 (SCOFFS) 907 00:38:52,210 --> 00:38:54,010 You gotta have a little faith, Derrick. 908 00:38:54,140 --> 00:38:58,010 You might ask yourself, "Why can't I be more like Les?" 909 00:38:58,150 --> 00:38:59,120 'Cause I'm more like me. 910 00:38:59,250 --> 00:39:01,250 He's got a positive attitude. 911 00:39:01,380 --> 00:39:03,720 He has faith that we're going to end up in Milwaukee. 912 00:39:03,850 --> 00:39:05,720 - Don't you, Les? - Nope. 913 00:39:07,090 --> 00:39:08,120 Thanks. 914 00:39:08,730 --> 00:39:10,130 Very funny. 915 00:39:10,690 --> 00:39:11,960 - Watch out for the pothole. - Hmm? 916 00:39:12,100 --> 00:39:14,140 - The pothole, right-- - (METALLIC THUD) 917 00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:16,430 - Sorry. - Really? 918 00:39:17,370 --> 00:39:18,610 Derrick? 919 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,930 I need to talk to you about all the girls 920 00:39:21,070 --> 00:39:22,470 that you've been kissing on lately. 921 00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:24,010 No, no, you don't. 922 00:39:24,140 --> 00:39:26,740 Yes, I do. Your mother and I think you're being a slut. 923 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:28,820 No, look, you-- you told me to sleep around. Okay? 924 00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:31,250 It's exactly what you said, word-for-word. 925 00:39:31,380 --> 00:39:33,580 "Have a big life," you said. You wished someone had told you. 926 00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:34,860 That doesn't mean you sleep around 927 00:39:34,980 --> 00:39:38,020 with every girl from Secaucus to Paramus. 928 00:39:38,150 --> 00:39:40,650 I mean, there's horny, and then there's pervy. 929 00:39:41,020 --> 00:39:42,420 Watch out for the pothole. Do you see it? 930 00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:43,860 - Right there. - (METALLIC THUD) 931 00:39:43,990 --> 00:39:46,290 - Dad, he's doing it on purpose. - Shut up! 932 00:39:46,430 --> 00:39:47,430 Hey! 933 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:48,860 If you have sex without a condom, 934 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:50,900 your mom's gonna cut your balls off. 935 00:39:54,740 --> 00:39:56,740 I think this talk went well. 936 00:39:58,980 --> 00:40:01,050 (LES) Derrick, can you drop me off at the theater? 937 00:40:09,620 --> 00:40:11,550 (BUDDY) All right, Lester, have fun. 938 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,700 (WOMAN) Les, darling. 939 00:40:27,970 --> 00:40:30,000 How did you know I'd be here? 940 00:40:30,310 --> 00:40:33,580 (LES) Tallulah Bankhead, 1902 to 1968. 941 00:40:33,710 --> 00:40:37,210 You look ghastly, Les darling. What's the matter? 942 00:40:37,350 --> 00:40:40,290 I'm just waiting to see if I got a part and... 943 00:40:41,380 --> 00:40:42,780 It's a long story, Tallulah, 944 00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,220 and I'm not sure how I come out at the end of it. 945 00:40:45,350 --> 00:40:47,050 Champagne? 946 00:40:47,190 --> 00:40:50,620 I meant for me. (LAUGHS) 947 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:52,830 You know, plus, Derrick's making out like a bandit, 948 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:54,560 and it's got me thinking-- 949 00:40:54,700 --> 00:40:56,160 I don't know what to tell you. 950 00:40:56,300 --> 00:40:58,800 I've been with many men, and I've been with many women. 951 00:40:58,940 --> 00:41:03,410 And, darling, there has got to be something better. 952 00:41:03,910 --> 00:41:05,350 (DISTANT RATTLING) 953 00:41:05,470 --> 00:41:06,670 Did you hear that? 954 00:41:13,420 --> 00:41:15,390 (RATTLING CONTINUES) 955 00:41:21,290 --> 00:41:23,090 (MOANING) 956 00:41:24,190 --> 00:41:25,690 - Oh! - Oh, uh, I'm sorry. 957 00:41:25,830 --> 00:41:27,060 I-I didn't see anything. 958 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,400 Oh, shit. 959 00:41:30,330 --> 00:41:31,670 Les... 960 00:41:33,140 --> 00:41:35,150 (WHIMPERS) 961 00:41:35,670 --> 00:41:37,770 (CRYING) 962 00:41:40,180 --> 00:41:44,050 Les, wait, please! Les, Les, no... 963 00:41:45,310 --> 00:41:46,410 Buddy? 964 00:41:46,550 --> 00:41:49,620 What-- What happened? What's wrong? 965 00:41:50,150 --> 00:41:53,290 What did-- What do you-- Who's on the phone? 966 00:41:54,820 --> 00:41:56,090 (STAMMERS) 967 00:41:58,460 --> 00:41:59,790 We got Milwaukee. 968 00:42:01,830 --> 00:42:03,300 I got the call. 969 00:42:03,870 --> 00:42:05,310 Milwaukee! 970 00:42:06,170 --> 00:42:07,730 Five years! 971 00:42:07,870 --> 00:42:10,770 We are set for the next full five years! 972 00:42:10,910 --> 00:42:12,750 Oh, my God! 973 00:42:13,240 --> 00:42:16,140 Champagne. We need champagne. Lots of it! 974 00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,010 We're celebrating big time. You know why, Les? 975 00:42:19,150 --> 00:42:21,150 It's not just because of the phone call. 976 00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:22,550 Les... 977 00:42:23,250 --> 00:42:24,380 I should probably go through your people, 978 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:25,820 I know, but I can't wait. 979 00:42:27,790 --> 00:42:30,220 You got the role. 980 00:42:31,830 --> 00:42:33,190 What? 981 00:42:33,330 --> 00:42:34,530 What? The role. 982 00:42:34,660 --> 00:42:36,460 Brighton Beach Memoirs. You got the role. 983 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,800 You were the best actor. Truly. 984 00:42:39,940 --> 00:42:42,450 There was no nepotism involved. 985 00:42:46,240 --> 00:42:47,810 Oh-oh-oh. 986 00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:52,360 There you go. Yes, let it out. You deserve it. 987 00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,680 Oh, I'm so proud of you. 988 00:42:54,820 --> 00:42:56,220 (BUDDY LAUGHS) 989 00:42:56,350 --> 00:43:00,350 Congratulations. You wanna go to the store with me? 990 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:03,490 No, it's okay, it's okay. 991 00:43:04,390 --> 00:43:05,490 You know what? 992 00:43:06,860 --> 00:43:09,300 This is a turning point for our family. 993 00:43:10,230 --> 00:43:11,530 (CHUCKLES) 994 00:43:11,970 --> 00:43:14,170 Whoo! (LAUGHS) 995 00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:20,070 (WHISPERS) Les... 996 00:43:23,980 --> 00:43:26,010 (DISTANT BELL TOLLING) 997 00:43:30,390 --> 00:43:31,360 Alcohol... 998 00:43:31,490 --> 00:43:33,200 (DOOR CHIMES) 999 00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:35,020 Do you have any decent champagne? 1000 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:37,220 (CLERK) Indecent only. 1001 00:43:37,630 --> 00:43:39,470 Everyone's a comedian. 1002 00:43:40,260 --> 00:43:41,290 (HUMMING) 1003 00:43:41,430 --> 00:43:42,730 There we go. 1004 00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:45,040 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1005 00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:50,070 Mm. 1006 00:44:05,590 --> 00:44:06,620 No, no, no. 1007 00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:09,170 (HIGH-PITCHED RINGING) 1008 00:44:09,290 --> 00:44:10,260 No. 1009 00:44:10,390 --> 00:44:13,290 (DEEP RUMBLING) 1010 00:44:19,740 --> 00:44:21,380 (MUFFLED THUD) 1011 00:44:29,980 --> 00:44:31,410 (MUFFLED THUD) 1012 00:44:49,700 --> 00:44:52,330 Welcome in the name of Jesus, 1013 00:44:52,470 --> 00:44:56,440 we are gathered to worship, to proclaim Christ crucified 1014 00:44:56,570 --> 00:44:59,040 and reason to remember before God, 1015 00:44:59,180 --> 00:45:02,490 our brother Buddy Smart. 1016 00:45:02,610 --> 00:45:04,980 To give thanks for his life, 1017 00:45:05,110 --> 00:45:08,080 to commend him to our merciful redeemer 1018 00:45:08,220 --> 00:45:11,760 and to comfort one another in our grief. 1019 00:45:11,890 --> 00:45:14,120 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ 1020 00:45:14,260 --> 00:45:16,670 and the communion of the holy spirit 1021 00:45:17,030 --> 00:45:21,600 all gather grace and glory, we remember before you today... 1022 00:45:21,730 --> 00:45:23,460 (VOICE GROWS DISTANT) ...our brother Buddy. 1023 00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:26,430 (MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYS) 1024 00:45:26,570 --> 00:45:29,300 (MUFFLED VOICE CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) 1025 00:45:34,010 --> 00:45:36,610 (MELANCHOLY MUSIC SWELLS) 1026 00:45:38,350 --> 00:45:40,420 (MUFFLED VOICE CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) 1027 00:45:41,850 --> 00:45:45,290 (OVERLAPPING WHISPERED SPEECH) 1028 00:45:49,990 --> 00:45:52,060 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1029 00:45:53,430 --> 00:45:55,260 Do you remember Mr. Paterson? 1030 00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:57,360 Son, sorry for your loss. 1031 00:45:58,700 --> 00:46:00,200 Oh, doctor. 1032 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,300 (GRUNTS) 1033 00:46:03,470 --> 00:46:06,470 Boys, I'm so sorry for your loss. 1034 00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:09,220 And, Macy. 1035 00:46:09,350 --> 00:46:13,090 He lived life exactly the way he wanted. 1036 00:46:13,420 --> 00:46:17,560 It's a gift. No one could ever tell Buddy what to do. 1037 00:46:17,690 --> 00:46:20,630 I could. And did. But he didn't listen anyway. 1038 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:22,000 (CHUCKLES) 1039 00:46:22,130 --> 00:46:23,500 Clearly, I couldn't. 1040 00:46:23,630 --> 00:46:26,140 Dr. Kannengiser, thank you for coming all that way. 1041 00:46:26,260 --> 00:46:30,330 I'm just so overwhelmed by how many people showed up. 1042 00:46:31,470 --> 00:46:33,240 I wish Buddy could've seen it. 1043 00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:35,000 He loved a packed house. 1044 00:46:35,140 --> 00:46:36,700 (LAUGHS) That he did. 1045 00:46:37,270 --> 00:46:41,370 Doctor... what couldn't you tell Buddy to do? 1046 00:46:42,150 --> 00:46:46,290 Well, you know. Retire. 'Cause of his heart. 1047 00:47:21,580 --> 00:47:23,050 (BUDDY, ON RECORDING) You've reached the Smarts. 1048 00:47:23,190 --> 00:47:24,130 If you were trying for someone else, 1049 00:47:24,250 --> 00:47:25,550 we beg your pardon. 1050 00:47:25,690 --> 00:47:28,150 I will recite a poem if you leave a message. 1051 00:47:28,290 --> 00:47:29,590 (CLEARS THROAT) 1052 00:47:29,730 --> 00:47:32,300 There once was a woman from Devizes, 1053 00:47:32,430 --> 00:47:35,260 whose breasts were of different sizes. 1054 00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:38,600 One was quite small. It was nothing at all. 1055 00:47:38,730 --> 00:47:42,100 The other was huge and won prizes! 1056 00:47:42,240 --> 00:47:44,170 - Your turn. - (MACHINE BEEPS) 1057 00:47:44,610 --> 00:47:47,550 ("IF YOU COULD READ MY MIND" BY GORDON LIGHTFOOT PLAYING) 1058 00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:56,680 ♪ If you could read My mind, love ♪ 1059 00:47:56,820 --> 00:48:00,190 ♪ What a tale My thoughts could tell ♪ 1060 00:48:00,620 --> 00:48:04,490 ♪ Just like An old-time movie ♪ 1061 00:48:04,630 --> 00:48:07,740 ♪ 'Bout a ghost From a wishing well ♪ 1062 00:48:08,700 --> 00:48:13,040 ♪ In a castle dark Or a fortress strong ♪ 1063 00:48:13,170 --> 00:48:16,440 ♪ With chains upon my feet ♪ 1064 00:48:17,310 --> 00:48:20,350 ♪ You know that ghost is me ♪ 1065 00:48:21,740 --> 00:48:25,350 ♪ And I will never Be set free ♪ 1066 00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:29,980 ♪ As long as I'm a ghost You can't see ♪ 1067 00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:38,490 - Mom? - (MACY) Hmm. 1068 00:48:39,130 --> 00:48:41,790 Did he talk to you about me playing football in Milwaukee? 1069 00:48:43,270 --> 00:48:44,810 He said I could. 1070 00:48:44,930 --> 00:48:47,830 He, uh, said if we got there, that there'd be security 1071 00:48:47,970 --> 00:48:50,270 so I wouldn't have to work at the theater anymore. 1072 00:48:51,240 --> 00:48:52,610 He promised. 1073 00:48:52,740 --> 00:48:54,940 You don't have to work at the theater anymore, Derrick. 1074 00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:56,780 But what about the theater in Milwaukee? 1075 00:48:56,910 --> 00:48:58,180 (SIGHS) Look, I really tried, 1076 00:48:58,310 --> 00:49:00,410 but your father had a contract there, not us. 1077 00:49:00,550 --> 00:49:03,680 We're not going to Milwaukee. We're going home. 1078 00:49:05,790 --> 00:49:06,720 - Home? - Yeah. 1079 00:49:06,860 --> 00:49:08,830 You can play football in Kansas. 1080 00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:11,270 My brother said we could stay with him on his farm. 1081 00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:13,660 - On his farm? - (PENCIL SCRIBBLING) 1082 00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:15,900 We're living on a farm? 1083 00:49:16,300 --> 00:49:17,530 What are we, cowpoke? 1084 00:49:17,670 --> 00:49:19,040 What am I supposed to do in fucking Kansas? 1085 00:49:19,170 --> 00:49:20,370 Hey. 1086 00:49:20,500 --> 00:49:21,870 You can start by watching your mouth. 1087 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:23,670 It's physically impossible to watch your mouth. 1088 00:49:23,810 --> 00:49:25,280 We don't have options. 1089 00:49:25,410 --> 00:49:26,810 You might even like it there, Les. 1090 00:49:26,940 --> 00:49:28,610 It'll be like living in The Wizard of Oz. 1091 00:49:28,740 --> 00:49:31,280 In the black-and-white section of The Wizard of Oz. 1092 00:49:31,410 --> 00:49:33,680 No one wants to live in that section! 1093 00:49:33,820 --> 00:49:35,020 Just keep an open mind. 1094 00:49:35,150 --> 00:49:37,550 Kansas is famous for twisters and being white. 1095 00:49:37,690 --> 00:49:40,060 We don't have any place else to go! 1096 00:49:40,190 --> 00:49:42,260 I am doing the best I can for us. 1097 00:49:42,490 --> 00:49:44,620 You're just gonna have to accept it, Les. 1098 00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,260 (BIRDS CAWING) 1099 00:50:00,580 --> 00:50:04,550 The motto of the state of Kansas is... 1100 00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,580 "To the stars through difficulties." 1101 00:50:09,750 --> 00:50:13,850 Seems to me you've all had your share of difficulties. 1102 00:50:16,260 --> 00:50:19,830 What do you boys like to do for fun? Huh? 1103 00:50:22,100 --> 00:50:24,010 - Um... - Les loves theater, 1104 00:50:24,130 --> 00:50:25,900 - like his dad. - Mm-hmm. 1105 00:50:26,270 --> 00:50:30,040 Uh, I don't know about theaters much, but... 1106 00:50:30,540 --> 00:50:32,140 we have a Renaissance Fair 1107 00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:36,590 with costumes, mermaids, and fire spitters. 1108 00:50:36,710 --> 00:50:38,040 (CHUCKLES) 1109 00:50:38,180 --> 00:50:41,250 The church puts on a nativity tableaux each year. 1110 00:50:41,380 --> 00:50:45,390 And, that's... you know, kinda theater-y, and... 1111 00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:46,990 That's not even amateur theater. 1112 00:50:51,130 --> 00:50:52,440 Um, what about football? 1113 00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:55,530 Oh, well, we love our football in Kansas. 1114 00:50:55,660 --> 00:50:57,700 - And we're really bad at it. - (LAUGHS) 1115 00:50:57,830 --> 00:51:03,170 But we got national parks, national forests, and, uh... 1116 00:51:03,570 --> 00:51:06,740 Macy? What do you say I take the boys hunting tomorrow? 1117 00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,650 Really? Arming them? I-- 1118 00:51:08,780 --> 00:51:11,020 Well, I know the girls never wanted to go, 1119 00:51:11,150 --> 00:51:12,360 but I bet your boys would. 1120 00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:15,050 I'm not some psycho serial killer 1121 00:51:15,180 --> 00:51:16,620 shooting and killing things. 1122 00:51:16,750 --> 00:51:18,450 - My dad just died. - (FORK CLINKS) 1123 00:51:18,590 --> 00:51:19,860 Les... 1124 00:51:20,390 --> 00:51:23,520 I know that, but people here feel differently. 1125 00:51:23,790 --> 00:51:28,630 Out here... gun control means hitting what you aim at. 1126 00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:31,230 People out here, they love their guns. 1127 00:51:31,370 --> 00:51:33,440 - People followed Hitler, too. - Jesus. 1128 00:51:33,570 --> 00:51:36,370 Oh, yeah, you think that's a fair comparison? 1129 00:51:36,510 --> 00:51:37,910 I don't give a shit about being fair. 1130 00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:39,870 - Les! - Well... 1131 00:51:40,910 --> 00:51:43,280 You know, suit yourself. 1132 00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:48,350 You're free to stay, and you're free to go. 1133 00:51:49,620 --> 00:51:51,820 No one's holding you prisoner. 1134 00:51:52,420 --> 00:51:55,920 But we clear our own plates in this house. 1135 00:52:02,730 --> 00:52:04,360 What part of "We don't have anywhere else to go" 1136 00:52:04,500 --> 00:52:05,800 was unclear? 1137 00:52:12,070 --> 00:52:14,040 (OWL HOOTING) 1138 00:52:16,980 --> 00:52:18,310 You all right? 1139 00:52:19,620 --> 00:52:20,790 No. 1140 00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:23,660 I don't think I'm me anymore without my dad. 1141 00:52:24,020 --> 00:52:27,020 I'm never gonna find my people in Kansas. 1142 00:52:28,820 --> 00:52:31,520 You haven't even been here a day. 1143 00:52:33,260 --> 00:52:35,360 This is an opportunity. 1144 00:52:36,870 --> 00:52:40,410 You start a new school next week. High school. 1145 00:52:40,540 --> 00:52:42,850 Just try fitting in. Huh? 1146 00:52:42,970 --> 00:52:45,640 Having a normal life isn't a sin. 1147 00:52:47,980 --> 00:52:49,290 Les... 1148 00:52:49,810 --> 00:52:52,710 Y-You need to let me explain. 1149 00:52:54,620 --> 00:52:56,460 - I loved your father-- - Just go away. 1150 00:52:56,590 --> 00:52:58,360 I just want to unsee it. 1151 00:52:59,190 --> 00:53:01,300 But for the longest time, 1152 00:53:01,660 --> 00:53:04,330 everybody looked at me like I was... 1153 00:53:05,390 --> 00:53:08,090 dull and serious, and not worth knowing. 1154 00:53:08,230 --> 00:53:11,360 And-- And I-I never used to be any of those things. 1155 00:53:11,700 --> 00:53:14,270 Even you looked at me like that, Les. 1156 00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:18,180 Your dad, he saw someone that didn't exist anymore. 1157 00:53:18,310 --> 00:53:19,650 And I just... 1158 00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:22,950 I just wanted to be seen. And Kyle saw me. 1159 00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:25,240 Saw you with his penis? 1160 00:53:25,380 --> 00:53:27,080 (INHALES SLOWLY) 1161 00:53:27,220 --> 00:53:29,630 I made a really bad decision, 1162 00:53:29,750 --> 00:53:32,020 and I made it deliberately. 1163 00:53:32,150 --> 00:53:35,760 And I wish to God it was just my secret and you didn't know. 1164 00:53:36,390 --> 00:53:38,420 I'm so sorry, Les. 1165 00:53:46,500 --> 00:53:48,530 I love you, sweetheart. 1166 00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:07,050 (MAN) Hey, Les. Can I tell you something? 1167 00:54:07,620 --> 00:54:10,720 Kansas was my real inspiration, you know. 1168 00:54:11,890 --> 00:54:15,360 (LES) William Inge, 1913 to 1973. 1169 00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:18,860 If you look at my plays, Les, they're all about my life here. 1170 00:54:19,270 --> 00:54:23,710 Kansas turned me into a real artist. (CHUCKLES) 1171 00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:25,510 You could be an artist too. 1172 00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:29,440 You could be as happy as I was here if you just give it a try. 1173 00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:32,480 Didn't you kill yourself? 1174 00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:37,230 Well... (CHUCKLES) 1175 00:54:40,460 --> 00:54:41,730 (SIGHS) 1176 00:54:45,090 --> 00:54:46,890 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) 1177 00:54:47,030 --> 00:54:49,630 ♪ Run, run, run, run Run away now ♪ 1178 00:54:49,770 --> 00:54:52,410 ♪ Got to run away from me ♪ 1179 00:54:52,770 --> 00:54:54,200 ♪ Whistle-blowin' Pistol-packin' ♪ 1180 00:54:54,340 --> 00:54:55,680 ♪ Gun-slingin' showdown ♪ 1181 00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:57,840 ♪ Is what you're all About to see ♪ 1182 00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:01,470 (MUSIC FADES) 1183 00:55:02,110 --> 00:55:04,740 - Nice shirt. - Thanks. 1184 00:55:05,310 --> 00:55:06,950 Listen to Dr. Feelgood yet? 1185 00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:10,420 Pretty good. Better than Girls, Girls, Girls. 1186 00:55:10,550 --> 00:55:12,650 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 1187 00:55:12,790 --> 00:55:14,750 - Alex. - Derrick. 1188 00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:16,990 - Johnny. - New? 1189 00:55:17,130 --> 00:55:18,830 - Yeah. - Cool. 1190 00:55:23,130 --> 00:55:24,560 Seriously? 1191 00:55:25,300 --> 00:55:26,900 (CHATTERING) 1192 00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:30,540 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1193 00:55:30,670 --> 00:55:33,140 - My mom, you know, she just-- - (CHUCKLES) 1194 00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:36,450 This is, uh, my brother Les. 1195 00:55:36,910 --> 00:55:38,110 Yo. 1196 00:55:38,250 --> 00:55:40,460 (ANNOUNCER) The chess club in room 104 1197 00:55:40,580 --> 00:55:42,080 has been canceled. 1198 00:55:42,220 --> 00:55:43,590 Am I seeing things, 1199 00:55:43,720 --> 00:55:46,450 or did Selena Roach get, like, totally hot over break? 1200 00:55:46,590 --> 00:55:48,220 Oh, man, look at her. 1201 00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:51,790 - She looks kind of slutty. - Right? 1202 00:55:52,190 --> 00:55:54,330 Right. Yeah, I love sluts. 1203 00:55:54,460 --> 00:55:56,560 She is totally third base, man. 1204 00:55:56,930 --> 00:55:59,770 You know, when I pick up girls, I think one thing. 1205 00:55:59,900 --> 00:56:03,200 - Very clearly, over and over. - What? 1206 00:56:03,540 --> 00:56:05,870 - "I have a foot-long penis." - (SNORTS AND LAUGHTER) 1207 00:56:06,010 --> 00:56:07,340 Yeah, watch. 1208 00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:08,680 No way. 1209 00:56:11,350 --> 00:56:12,960 (LAUGHTER) 1210 00:56:16,350 --> 00:56:19,250 What's so funny? What are they saying about me? 1211 00:56:19,390 --> 00:56:21,260 My brother thinks you're a fox. 1212 00:56:21,390 --> 00:56:23,490 He's the guy you're watching like a TV set. 1213 00:56:23,630 --> 00:56:25,070 Yeah, I'm so sure. 1214 00:56:26,330 --> 00:56:27,690 Not really my type. 1215 00:56:28,500 --> 00:56:29,840 What kind of girl does he like? 1216 00:56:30,230 --> 00:56:31,360 New. 1217 00:56:31,730 --> 00:56:33,230 (CHUCKLES) 1218 00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:34,640 I'm Les. 1219 00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:37,850 Hmm. Okay. Selena. 1220 00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:49,490 Oh, you shouldn't be drinking like that. 1221 00:56:49,620 --> 00:56:51,380 I'm using a glass. 1222 00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:53,050 - No, I meant-- - No. 1223 00:56:53,190 --> 00:56:55,450 I should absolutely be drinking, okay? 1224 00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:59,190 I yelled at Buddy over and over to have a Plan B. 1225 00:56:59,330 --> 00:57:00,870 I have no plan. 1226 00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:03,370 I was an awful wife. My kids are miserable. 1227 00:57:03,500 --> 00:57:05,830 Give me one good reason why I shouldn't be drinking. 1228 00:57:05,970 --> 00:57:08,000 I meant you shouldn't be drinking alone. 1229 00:57:08,140 --> 00:57:09,240 (BANGS TABLE) 1230 00:57:13,540 --> 00:57:15,010 My mistake. 1231 00:57:26,620 --> 00:57:27,950 (GRUMBLES) 1232 00:57:28,090 --> 00:57:29,990 Why'd you stop talking to me? 1233 00:57:30,260 --> 00:57:32,690 Why, I'm pretty sure we're talking now. 1234 00:57:32,830 --> 00:57:35,630 You stopped returning calls, you stopped writing... 1235 00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:37,700 - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. 1236 00:57:38,300 --> 00:57:39,700 Well, you look terrible. 1237 00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:41,310 Well, I feel terrible, Walter. 1238 00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:42,680 Well, you... 1239 00:57:42,810 --> 00:57:44,210 You look it. 1240 00:57:47,380 --> 00:57:49,550 - (GLASS CLINKS) - (SIGHS) 1241 00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:51,240 Look... 1242 00:57:52,110 --> 00:57:55,210 I read three different articles this week about... 1243 00:57:55,550 --> 00:57:56,750 food allergies. 1244 00:57:58,050 --> 00:58:01,320 Three. That can't be a coincidence. 1245 00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:06,070 They say, what you eat directly contributes to how you feel. 1246 00:58:06,190 --> 00:58:08,330 You can be allergic to something. 1247 00:58:08,460 --> 00:58:10,030 And-- And it-- And it causes-- 1248 00:58:10,170 --> 00:58:13,080 it causes mood swings, and you aren't aware of it. 1249 00:58:13,300 --> 00:58:14,530 That's not this. 1250 00:58:14,670 --> 00:58:18,070 Look, there's a man in Enid, Oklahoma 1251 00:58:18,210 --> 00:58:19,980 who cut his wife up in a salad bowl 1252 00:58:20,110 --> 00:58:21,840 'cause he was allergic to dairy. 1253 00:58:21,980 --> 00:58:23,250 All three articles talked about him. 1254 00:58:23,380 --> 00:58:24,610 Walter... 1255 00:58:24,750 --> 00:58:27,960 No, all I'm saying is... aside from Buddy... 1256 00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:30,490 The uncertainty? 1257 00:58:31,050 --> 00:58:34,020 The overwhelming emotions? 1258 00:58:35,190 --> 00:58:36,520 Yeah? 1259 00:58:38,390 --> 00:58:40,460 Could all be tuna. 1260 00:58:43,330 --> 00:58:44,460 Yeah. 1261 00:58:45,230 --> 00:58:46,500 (SELENA) Glad you could ditch with me. 1262 00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:48,140 (LES) I always ditch PE. 1263 00:58:48,900 --> 00:58:50,400 How long have you lived here? 1264 00:58:51,370 --> 00:58:52,840 God, too long. 1265 00:58:52,980 --> 00:58:55,750 I know everything everyone's gonna say before they say it. 1266 00:58:56,510 --> 00:58:57,910 Intolerable. 1267 00:58:58,380 --> 00:59:00,810 I'm moving to LA first chance I get. 1268 00:59:01,220 --> 00:59:03,060 If Debbie Gibson can be a rockstar... 1269 00:59:03,190 --> 00:59:05,830 I'm giving myself five years to make it in New York. 1270 00:59:05,950 --> 00:59:07,090 I'm going to an acting school 1271 00:59:07,220 --> 00:59:08,750 where they don't just teach acting... 1272 00:59:08,890 --> 00:59:11,220 but how to become rich and be fascinating. 1273 00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:13,830 My dad said they have those in New York. 1274 00:59:14,530 --> 00:59:15,860 Wait, you're gay? 1275 00:59:18,170 --> 00:59:19,410 What? 1276 00:59:19,770 --> 00:59:23,240 Mm. All actors are just a little bit gay. 1277 00:59:27,140 --> 00:59:28,470 Do you wanna touch my boob? 1278 00:59:30,810 --> 00:59:32,080 Yeah. 1279 00:59:34,780 --> 00:59:36,350 Uh, under the shirt. 1280 00:59:37,220 --> 00:59:38,220 Oh. 1281 00:59:41,820 --> 00:59:43,090 Hey, your brother seems way cool. 1282 00:59:43,230 --> 00:59:44,900 - Mm. - He have a girlfriend? 1283 00:59:45,030 --> 00:59:46,800 - Uh-uh. - Hmm. 1284 00:59:46,930 --> 00:59:49,360 Okay, it doesn't screw off, Les. That's enough. 1285 00:59:52,430 --> 00:59:54,970 I saw Hair when I was eight 'cause... 1286 00:59:55,270 --> 00:59:57,670 my dad said he'd rather I learn about sex in the theater 1287 00:59:57,810 --> 00:59:59,050 than the street. 1288 00:59:59,310 --> 01:00:01,750 People here are obsessed with sex. 1289 01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:04,140 You know, I'm in AP Calculus. 1290 01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:06,450 But no one ever talks about that. 1291 01:00:07,050 --> 01:00:08,480 I know what the guys here say about me. 1292 01:00:08,620 --> 01:00:10,860 But I'm not doing anything they're not doing. 1293 01:00:10,990 --> 01:00:12,630 Anything they wish they were doing. 1294 01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:14,000 Exactly. 1295 01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:15,420 Intolerable. 1296 01:00:17,160 --> 01:00:18,890 Yeah, it just really upsets people here 1297 01:00:19,030 --> 01:00:21,900 that I have a working brain, and a working vagina. 1298 01:00:22,730 --> 01:00:23,930 (GAGS) 1299 01:00:26,570 --> 01:00:28,000 Intolerable. 1300 01:00:28,700 --> 01:00:30,140 Intolerable. 1301 01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:33,210 (ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS) 1302 01:00:35,910 --> 01:00:39,680 ♪ On a hill far away ♪ 1303 01:00:39,820 --> 01:00:43,990 ♪ Stood an old rugged cross ♪ 1304 01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:50,960 ♪ The emblem Of suffering and shame ♪ 1305 01:00:51,690 --> 01:00:56,130 (SINGING MUFFLES) ♪ And I love that old cross ♪ 1306 01:00:56,260 --> 01:01:00,030 ♪ Where the dearest and best ♪ 1307 01:01:00,170 --> 01:01:06,840 ♪ For a world of lost sinners Was slain ♪ 1308 01:01:07,140 --> 01:01:08,870 Thank you so much for coming today. 1309 01:01:10,480 --> 01:01:13,010 - Pastor Ellis, I'm Macy Smart. - Oh, hi, Macy. 1310 01:01:13,150 --> 01:01:15,210 I hear the church is looking for a bookkeeper. 1311 01:01:15,350 --> 01:01:16,620 Yes, actually, 1312 01:01:16,750 --> 01:01:19,050 our Miss Rowbottom's leaving us to get married. 1313 01:01:19,190 --> 01:01:23,130 I have over 15 years experience in bookkeeping for my husband. 1314 01:01:23,260 --> 01:01:25,590 - Okay, and your husband is-- - Dead? Yes. 1315 01:01:25,730 --> 01:01:27,000 Oh. 1316 01:01:27,130 --> 01:01:29,360 His number came up, as we say in bookkeeping. 1317 01:01:29,500 --> 01:01:30,610 I see. 1318 01:01:31,130 --> 01:01:33,430 Look. Apparently, I'm a control freak 1319 01:01:33,570 --> 01:01:36,000 with control over absolutely nothing in my life. 1320 01:01:36,140 --> 01:01:38,970 And I'm also seemingly dull and uninteresting, 1321 01:01:39,110 --> 01:01:41,020 so perfect for the job. 1322 01:01:41,980 --> 01:01:44,150 I'll see what we can do, Macy. 1323 01:01:46,150 --> 01:01:48,580 It was a lot of this, watch... Double take. 1324 01:01:49,220 --> 01:01:51,130 - (BOTH LAUGH) - Triple take. 1325 01:01:51,590 --> 01:01:54,030 - (LAUGHTER) - It was so... Oh, my God! 1326 01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:55,900 It was like serving time in thespian jail. 1327 01:01:56,020 --> 01:01:57,120 And the more I tried to escape, 1328 01:01:57,260 --> 01:01:58,420 the more musicals they'd put me in. 1329 01:01:58,560 --> 01:01:59,990 That's bizarre, dude. 1330 01:02:00,130 --> 01:02:02,460 I know, and I'm fantasizing about football and tackling 1331 01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:05,010 and for real, this is what they have me doing. 1332 01:02:05,130 --> 01:02:06,730 On stage, in front of everyone. 1333 01:02:06,870 --> 01:02:08,970 Eight shows a week. Triple time step! 1334 01:02:09,100 --> 01:02:10,840 - (TAPPING) - (LAUGHTER) 1335 01:02:10,970 --> 01:02:13,440 It wasn't actually like that. 1336 01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:16,020 It was actually really great. 1337 01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:18,480 Come on! "Moon, June, croon, tune" 1338 01:02:18,610 --> 01:02:19,680 and the "feelings" bullshit. 1339 01:02:20,420 --> 01:02:22,320 It was so corny and embarrassing. 1340 01:02:22,450 --> 01:02:24,050 I never told any of my friends what I was doing 1341 01:02:24,190 --> 01:02:25,660 'cause I know I'd never live it down. 1342 01:02:25,790 --> 01:02:26,960 It wasn't corny. 1343 01:02:27,090 --> 01:02:28,990 It was corn right off the cob, Les. 1344 01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:30,560 You just weren't good at it. 1345 01:02:33,260 --> 01:02:35,460 Everything's different up there. 1346 01:02:35,930 --> 01:02:37,500 The energy, the intensity. 1347 01:02:38,130 --> 01:02:39,970 You connect with everybody simultaneously 1348 01:02:40,100 --> 01:02:41,830 and bring them together. 1349 01:02:41,970 --> 01:02:43,600 That's the opposite of corny. 1350 01:02:45,010 --> 01:02:46,750 - We were good. - No. 1351 01:02:46,880 --> 01:02:48,750 We were terrible, Les. 1352 01:02:49,180 --> 01:02:51,650 Dad told you we were good, and you believed him. 1353 01:02:52,980 --> 01:02:54,810 And we were a joke. 1354 01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:57,080 And Dad picked that joke over us. 1355 01:02:58,990 --> 01:03:00,400 And he died for it. 1356 01:03:01,490 --> 01:03:02,920 (SCOFFS) I mean, he wanted to be good, 1357 01:03:03,060 --> 01:03:04,490 but you gotta face the truth, 1358 01:03:04,630 --> 01:03:06,070 Dad was the joke. 1359 01:03:07,660 --> 01:03:09,660 Dad was fucking tragic. 1360 01:03:10,330 --> 01:03:12,460 - Take it back! - (CROWD) Whoa. 1361 01:03:15,470 --> 01:03:19,300 Dad went after what he loved 100%, and that's brave. 1362 01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:22,270 We were special, and you weren't. 1363 01:03:22,740 --> 01:03:24,680 That's not Dad's fault. 1364 01:03:25,150 --> 01:03:28,290 You're just a boring, ordinary asshole, Derrick. 1365 01:03:32,820 --> 01:03:34,990 Dad wasn't tragic! 1366 01:03:36,390 --> 01:03:39,660 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1367 01:03:41,130 --> 01:03:42,860 We were special. 1368 01:03:43,270 --> 01:03:46,510 (INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES) 1369 01:03:49,670 --> 01:03:51,640 What are you and Derrick fighting about? 1370 01:03:55,880 --> 01:03:57,720 I'm not talking about it with you. 1371 01:03:59,010 --> 01:04:00,310 Okay. 1372 01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:02,260 Why not? 1373 01:04:02,380 --> 01:04:04,320 Because you cheated on Dad. 1374 01:04:08,690 --> 01:04:10,690 Is that what you and Derrick were fighting about? 1375 01:04:11,630 --> 01:04:12,630 You know... 1376 01:04:13,730 --> 01:04:15,830 I'm gonna be so famous. 1377 01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:19,200 Everyone's gonna piss themselves wishing they were nicer to me. 1378 01:04:19,330 --> 01:04:21,230 When the money comes in... 1379 01:04:21,370 --> 01:04:24,340 I'm gonna make Kyle my assistant and treat him terrible. 1380 01:04:24,470 --> 01:04:27,410 No matter what he does, it's not good enough. 1381 01:04:27,540 --> 01:04:29,770 And when it's time to give him a raise, I'm gonna fire him. 1382 01:04:33,050 --> 01:04:34,550 Okay, you wanna join me here 1383 01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:36,080 - in reality for a second? - No. 1384 01:04:36,220 --> 01:04:37,680 Reality sucks. It's better in my head. 1385 01:04:37,820 --> 01:04:38,780 But it's not real. 1386 01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:40,450 - It's better. - It's not. 1387 01:04:40,590 --> 01:04:43,520 It's braver to face things head on. 1388 01:04:45,130 --> 01:04:46,840 Artists appreciate truth. 1389 01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:49,840 You're not an artist. 1390 01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:52,760 Your dreams never happened, so now you don't dream at all. 1391 01:04:53,070 --> 01:04:54,970 That's the opposite of brave. 1392 01:04:55,100 --> 01:04:58,870 No, you don't dream when you're just trying to survive, Les. 1393 01:04:59,010 --> 01:05:00,380 That's exactly when you do. 1394 01:05:00,510 --> 01:05:04,640 No, you face facts and you deal with them. 1395 01:05:04,780 --> 01:05:07,610 Dreams are fine, but dreams can also destroy you. 1396 01:05:07,980 --> 01:05:09,680 I am trying... 1397 01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:11,750 to protect you, Les. 1398 01:05:11,890 --> 01:05:13,400 That's my job. 1399 01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:14,950 - You're limiting me. - No. 1400 01:05:15,090 --> 01:05:18,090 You want me to pick the safest, smallest life possible. 1401 01:05:18,690 --> 01:05:19,990 Honey... 1402 01:05:20,130 --> 01:05:22,760 I'm giving myself five years to make it in New York. 1403 01:05:22,900 --> 01:05:26,640 I'm not gonna be small and simple like you. 1404 01:05:28,140 --> 01:05:30,150 I'm going after what I want. 1405 01:05:30,710 --> 01:05:34,320 And I'm dreaming fucking big, just like my dad. 1406 01:05:38,950 --> 01:05:41,560 You're not ever gonna forgive me, are you? 1407 01:05:57,270 --> 01:05:58,610 - (EXHALES) - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1408 01:06:02,070 --> 01:06:03,240 You have everything you need? 1409 01:06:03,370 --> 01:06:05,140 (CHUCKLES) Really? 1410 01:06:05,270 --> 01:06:07,840 (CHUCKLES) Uh, you know what I mean. 1411 01:06:08,780 --> 01:06:10,220 I'm fine. 1412 01:06:11,950 --> 01:06:13,290 Really? 1413 01:06:14,350 --> 01:06:16,780 You know what I mean. Come in. 1414 01:06:19,790 --> 01:06:21,400 (BOTH GROAN) 1415 01:06:24,590 --> 01:06:27,460 (EXHALES) You think you're gonna stay? 1416 01:06:29,260 --> 01:06:30,930 I don't know what to think. 1417 01:06:31,070 --> 01:06:33,380 I'm just... 1418 01:06:34,540 --> 01:06:35,540 Well... 1419 01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:38,040 Questioning everything. 1420 01:06:38,170 --> 01:06:39,370 Yeah. 1421 01:06:40,340 --> 01:06:42,310 I can't even pray. 1422 01:06:43,110 --> 01:06:46,710 Why would I pray to a God that let Buddy die without faith? 1423 01:06:47,280 --> 01:06:49,450 Plus, Buddy knew he was sick. 1424 01:06:50,850 --> 01:06:53,950 He pretended he was fine. He never let on. 1425 01:06:54,220 --> 01:06:55,420 Mm. 1426 01:06:57,130 --> 01:07:00,300 I didn't know Buddy well, but... 1427 01:07:01,660 --> 01:07:02,990 I guess he didn't want you to worry-- 1428 01:07:03,130 --> 01:07:04,560 They warned him. 1429 01:07:05,270 --> 01:07:07,580 Buddy and his big dreams. 1430 01:07:07,700 --> 01:07:09,870 That's what killed him. And I-I... 1431 01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:13,510 I must've known on some level because I kept begging him... 1432 01:07:15,110 --> 01:07:16,740 I don't know how to forgive him. 1433 01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:19,340 I can't forgive myself. 1434 01:07:20,450 --> 01:07:22,510 - Mm. - And I don't know how to... 1435 01:07:23,350 --> 01:07:25,720 live my life now without God. 1436 01:07:27,220 --> 01:07:29,420 You know, growing up, uh... 1437 01:07:30,590 --> 01:07:32,860 I always wanted to protect you. 1438 01:07:32,990 --> 01:07:35,230 But you never needed it. 1439 01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:39,930 Who knew I'd be so bad at it? 1440 01:07:40,070 --> 01:07:41,780 - (LAUGHS) - No... 1441 01:07:44,170 --> 01:07:47,440 What do you suppose Buddy'd say about all this? 1442 01:07:51,450 --> 01:07:53,260 On with the show. 1443 01:07:54,250 --> 01:07:55,450 Hm. 1444 01:07:57,950 --> 01:07:59,350 (MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYS) 1445 01:07:59,490 --> 01:08:01,030 I know what you've heard about me. 1446 01:08:01,420 --> 01:08:03,890 - (EXHALES) - I don't, you know. 1447 01:08:04,260 --> 01:08:05,990 They all just say they've been with me 1448 01:08:06,130 --> 01:08:08,200 because they don't wanna be the only one who hasn't. 1449 01:08:08,330 --> 01:08:10,330 - (EXHALES) - All of 'em. 1450 01:08:10,470 --> 01:08:12,210 (CAN CRINKLES AND CLINKS) 1451 01:08:12,330 --> 01:08:13,270 It's all good. 1452 01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:14,670 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 1453 01:08:14,800 --> 01:08:17,870 You know, I don't say anything because, uh... 1454 01:08:18,610 --> 01:08:20,820 you do what you have to when your last name's Roach. 1455 01:08:20,940 --> 01:08:22,310 (BOTH LAUGH) 1456 01:08:22,440 --> 01:08:24,680 I mean, I don't care, it doesn't bother me, I-- 1457 01:08:25,580 --> 01:08:27,310 I'm leaving town anyway. 1458 01:08:27,650 --> 01:08:29,450 I'm moving to LA to become a singer. 1459 01:08:29,580 --> 01:08:32,680 Don't-- Don't go. I just got here. 1460 01:08:32,820 --> 01:08:35,120 (LAUGHS) You're messed up, huh? 1461 01:08:35,260 --> 01:08:37,330 Wha-- I'm not messed up. 1462 01:08:37,460 --> 01:08:39,390 Uh-huh. No? (LAUGHS) 1463 01:08:39,530 --> 01:08:41,200 - No, no siree-- - Yeah. 1464 01:08:41,330 --> 01:08:42,930 No, I'm-- 1465 01:08:43,270 --> 01:08:44,440 - Okay, yeah, I am. - Yeah. 1466 01:08:44,570 --> 01:08:46,880 - I'm messed up. - (BOTH LAUGH) 1467 01:08:57,410 --> 01:08:59,010 - Okay, slow down. - Hey. 1468 01:09:00,950 --> 01:09:02,350 (CLEARS THROAT) 1469 01:09:05,220 --> 01:09:07,520 Yep, LA. 1470 01:09:09,990 --> 01:09:13,160 Actually, we, um-- We moved here from Milwaukee. 1471 01:09:13,300 --> 01:09:14,300 Mm. 1472 01:09:14,430 --> 01:09:17,260 Yeah, my dad's in manufacturing. 1473 01:09:17,400 --> 01:09:19,560 He worked at the Maybelline cosmetics factory 1474 01:09:19,700 --> 01:09:21,170 until it shut down there. 1475 01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:23,800 I didn't even get a fucking lipstick outta it. 1476 01:09:23,940 --> 01:09:25,640 (BOTH LAUGH) 1477 01:09:26,170 --> 01:09:27,370 Wha... 1478 01:09:27,510 --> 01:09:30,480 Did you know that more Playboy Playmates 1479 01:09:30,610 --> 01:09:33,450 come from Milwaukee, than... 1480 01:09:40,690 --> 01:09:41,920 Shit! 1481 01:09:43,460 --> 01:09:44,860 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 1482 01:09:44,990 --> 01:09:46,530 (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) 1483 01:09:53,970 --> 01:09:55,870 (SIGHS) Oh, Dad... 1484 01:09:56,440 --> 01:09:58,000 What's wrong? 1485 01:09:58,610 --> 01:10:01,320 It's just... I don't even miss my dad. 1486 01:10:01,440 --> 01:10:02,770 I-I don't miss him. 1487 01:10:05,010 --> 01:10:06,610 (SOBS) 1488 01:10:07,480 --> 01:10:08,680 Fuck. 1489 01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:11,720 My-- 1490 01:10:12,450 --> 01:10:14,620 It's just, my dad, um... 1491 01:10:17,590 --> 01:10:19,720 (INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY) 1492 01:10:20,930 --> 01:10:22,860 Okay, well, um... 1493 01:10:24,430 --> 01:10:26,700 I still want to, so... 1494 01:10:27,440 --> 01:10:28,880 - you can if you want. - (ZIPPER ZIPS) 1495 01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:31,870 Yeah. 1496 01:10:37,710 --> 01:10:40,040 Okay, yeah, Derrick. Off. 1497 01:10:40,180 --> 01:10:41,850 I have to get home. 1498 01:10:43,150 --> 01:10:44,150 What happened? 1499 01:10:45,720 --> 01:10:47,220 You don't remember? 1500 01:10:47,360 --> 01:10:49,160 - (ZIPPER ZIPS) - What? 1501 01:10:50,360 --> 01:10:52,260 Whatever, just take me home. 1502 01:10:52,390 --> 01:10:55,160 Wait. We didn't... 1503 01:10:57,060 --> 01:10:59,930 I-I lost my virginity, and I don't even remember? 1504 01:11:01,270 --> 01:11:02,900 You-- You were a virgin? 1505 01:11:04,640 --> 01:11:05,940 You couldn't tell? 1506 01:11:06,910 --> 01:11:09,970 (QUIRKY UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) 1507 01:11:12,150 --> 01:11:13,820 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1508 01:11:17,990 --> 01:11:19,960 (QUIRKY UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES) 1509 01:11:22,220 --> 01:11:24,190 (DOOR OPENS) 1510 01:11:26,730 --> 01:11:28,930 Macy, everything all right? 1511 01:11:29,060 --> 01:11:30,530 (SIGHS) 1512 01:11:30,670 --> 01:11:33,610 Everything's sunshine and Santa Claus, Pastor. Why do you ask? 1513 01:11:33,740 --> 01:11:35,640 Well, the high school just called. 1514 01:11:35,770 --> 01:11:38,540 They wanna know if you'd come in at 1:00 to talk about Les. 1515 01:11:39,970 --> 01:11:42,240 Oh, well... 1516 01:11:42,710 --> 01:11:45,440 he's having a little trouble adjusting. 1517 01:11:46,880 --> 01:11:51,150 You know, the church has a pretty big outreach, so... 1518 01:11:51,790 --> 01:11:54,200 You know, you don't have to do all this alone, Macy. 1519 01:11:54,320 --> 01:11:57,520 Well... I'm taking a vacation from church. 1520 01:11:57,660 --> 01:12:01,360 Well, you're literally working... for a church. 1521 01:12:01,500 --> 01:12:02,900 (LAUGHS) 1522 01:12:03,030 --> 01:12:05,760 Well... I'm not working very hard. 1523 01:12:05,900 --> 01:12:10,070 Look, I just meant that I know how messy it all is. 1524 01:12:10,200 --> 01:12:12,640 And, you know, if you needed help, 1525 01:12:12,770 --> 01:12:15,370 I'm sure the church could spring for an analyst. 1526 01:12:15,710 --> 01:12:18,410 I do not need an analyst. 1527 01:12:18,550 --> 01:12:20,490 I face things head on. 1528 01:12:20,620 --> 01:12:22,190 That's what I do. You know what? 1529 01:12:22,320 --> 01:12:24,560 I hide in the background and keep my mouth shut 1530 01:12:24,690 --> 01:12:25,860 and get things done. 1531 01:12:25,990 --> 01:12:29,860 If anything, I am too sensible, too safe. 1532 01:12:29,990 --> 01:12:32,560 As a matter of fact, I resent this entire conversation. 1533 01:12:32,690 --> 01:12:34,390 I keep a tight reign on things. 1534 01:12:34,530 --> 01:12:37,260 I am managing just fine. Thank you very much. 1535 01:12:37,400 --> 01:12:40,570 I know, I was talking about a financial analyst. 1536 01:12:40,700 --> 01:12:42,670 I was talking about the books, Macy. 1537 01:12:44,810 --> 01:12:46,850 (SIGHS AND GROANS) 1538 01:12:48,780 --> 01:12:50,590 I'll let you finish up. 1539 01:13:00,690 --> 01:13:02,120 (MACY) He said what now? 1540 01:13:02,260 --> 01:13:04,130 God doesn't exist. 1541 01:13:04,260 --> 01:13:06,120 What class was this for? 1542 01:13:06,590 --> 01:13:07,790 PE. 1543 01:13:07,930 --> 01:13:09,130 PE? 1544 01:13:09,360 --> 01:13:10,630 Coach Gifford was saying 1545 01:13:10,770 --> 01:13:13,010 that it would take an act of God for Les to pass PE 1546 01:13:13,130 --> 01:13:15,400 if he continues the way he is. 1547 01:13:15,540 --> 01:13:16,750 And he responded with-- 1548 01:13:16,870 --> 01:13:19,200 Did the coach ask him what he does believe in? 1549 01:13:19,340 --> 01:13:20,640 'Cause I'd like to know. 1550 01:13:20,780 --> 01:13:23,150 That is a pretty bold statement. 1551 01:13:23,280 --> 01:13:27,160 What-- What do you believe in, if not God? 1552 01:13:27,550 --> 01:13:29,080 I don't know, just... 1553 01:13:30,620 --> 01:13:32,750 Me, I guess. 1554 01:13:32,890 --> 01:13:33,830 (SCOFFS) 1555 01:13:33,960 --> 01:13:37,100 You're 14. You're 14 years old. 1556 01:13:37,220 --> 01:13:38,260 I-I know. 1557 01:13:38,390 --> 01:13:39,760 (MACY STAMMERS) 1558 01:13:39,890 --> 01:13:42,490 I second guess myself every 15 minutes! 1559 01:13:42,630 --> 01:13:44,630 That's an extraordinary statement 1560 01:13:44,770 --> 01:13:46,170 - for a 14-year-old to make... - Mrs. Smart... 1561 01:13:46,300 --> 01:13:48,030 Who thinks like that at 14? 1562 01:13:48,170 --> 01:13:49,570 I don't think you understand-- 1563 01:13:49,700 --> 01:13:52,240 His dad had trouble with God too. Les takes after him. 1564 01:13:52,370 --> 01:13:54,110 (WHISPERS) And he hates the hell out of me right now. 1565 01:13:54,240 --> 01:13:55,710 (SCOFFS) 1566 01:13:55,840 --> 01:13:59,210 But God bless you, Les, if you'll excuse the expression, 1567 01:13:59,350 --> 01:14:01,760 'cause I know how you feel about Him. 1568 01:14:01,880 --> 01:14:04,580 But it's a little like having his dad back. 1569 01:14:04,720 --> 01:14:06,950 I don't think you understand, Mrs. Smart. 1570 01:14:07,090 --> 01:14:09,190 If he continues this way there's a good chance 1571 01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:10,890 that Les will fail PE. 1572 01:14:11,030 --> 01:14:14,340 Oh, he's failing PE! Just wrap your head around that. 1573 01:14:14,460 --> 01:14:17,100 But, he'll make it up in another way, it'll be fine. 1574 01:14:17,230 --> 01:14:20,570 He could be the football team's mascot maybe. 1575 01:14:20,700 --> 01:14:22,170 We're-- We're still, um... 1576 01:14:22,740 --> 01:14:23,910 Um... 1577 01:14:24,040 --> 01:14:25,070 - What are we? - The Beavers. 1578 01:14:25,210 --> 01:14:27,250 Beavers! Dress him up like a beaver. 1579 01:14:27,370 --> 01:14:29,370 (LAUGHING) 1580 01:14:30,980 --> 01:14:32,980 (LAUGHS HARDER) 1581 01:14:33,680 --> 01:14:35,050 Whoo! 1582 01:14:35,880 --> 01:14:37,520 Mom, are you drunk? 1583 01:14:37,650 --> 01:14:39,550 Do not talk to me like that. 1584 01:14:39,690 --> 01:14:42,100 (GASPS) No, you don't! 1585 01:14:42,820 --> 01:14:44,190 Can you believe he's... 1586 01:14:44,330 --> 01:14:46,200 This is not about me. This is just... 1587 01:14:46,330 --> 01:14:47,370 (VOICE FADES AND ECHOES) 1588 01:14:50,460 --> 01:14:52,700 (WALTER) You probably like lox for breakfast. 1589 01:14:52,830 --> 01:14:55,530 But there's no salmon fishing near here. 1590 01:14:55,970 --> 01:14:58,140 Now, bass toast... 1591 01:14:58,870 --> 01:15:02,040 is an undiscovered meal you're gonna love. 1592 01:15:04,110 --> 01:15:07,250 Say... how do you like your school? 1593 01:15:08,580 --> 01:15:10,010 They don't get me here. 1594 01:15:10,150 --> 01:15:11,920 (MURMURS) 1595 01:15:12,050 --> 01:15:15,050 You think I give a shit if people get me? 1596 01:15:16,190 --> 01:15:18,860 You are who you are, that's it. 1597 01:15:19,960 --> 01:15:23,960 Maybe they'll, uh... they'll get you tomorrow. 1598 01:15:25,800 --> 01:15:27,730 Maybe they'll catch up. 1599 01:15:27,870 --> 01:15:30,600 The thing of it is, by the time they do... 1600 01:15:30,910 --> 01:15:32,950 you won't give a shit either. 1601 01:15:36,040 --> 01:15:37,210 Hmm. 1602 01:15:38,880 --> 01:15:40,610 How come you stopped seeing each other? 1603 01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:42,360 You and Mom. 1604 01:15:43,790 --> 01:15:45,330 'Cause we're idiots. 1605 01:15:46,790 --> 01:15:49,750 I was so pissed off... 1606 01:15:50,120 --> 01:15:52,090 when she left town with your dad. 1607 01:15:53,830 --> 01:15:56,060 She was engaged to my best friend, 1608 01:15:56,200 --> 01:15:59,170 and I couldn't understand how she turned her back on all of us 1609 01:15:59,300 --> 01:16:01,670 for a guy she'd known for, like, a week. 1610 01:16:02,670 --> 01:16:04,740 Nobody saw it coming. 1611 01:16:05,240 --> 01:16:06,600 Oh... 1612 01:16:06,970 --> 01:16:09,270 We fought and just, uh... 1613 01:16:09,640 --> 01:16:13,510 measured and doled out the exact amount of love and affection 1614 01:16:13,650 --> 01:16:17,290 we thought the other was giving and gave that exact amount back. 1615 01:16:17,420 --> 01:16:18,380 (CLEARS THROAT) 1616 01:16:18,520 --> 01:16:20,220 Stupid shit. 1617 01:16:20,690 --> 01:16:22,250 Hey, you want, uh... 1618 01:16:23,590 --> 01:16:24,920 (CLEARS THROAT) 1619 01:16:25,790 --> 01:16:27,790 You want butter or cream cheese? 1620 01:16:29,400 --> 01:16:30,540 On bass? 1621 01:16:30,660 --> 01:16:31,900 Yeah. 1622 01:16:32,500 --> 01:16:33,870 Butter. 1623 01:16:36,040 --> 01:16:38,410 I stayed put here all my life. 1624 01:16:38,540 --> 01:16:41,870 Freakin'... Kansas, man. 1625 01:16:44,880 --> 01:16:46,950 I don't know, maybe she was smart. 1626 01:16:52,090 --> 01:16:54,900 You should make up with your brother. 1627 01:16:59,930 --> 01:17:01,770 She's falling down a rabbit hole, 1628 01:17:01,900 --> 01:17:03,910 and I don't know how to help. 1629 01:17:17,010 --> 01:17:19,040 (DOOR OPENS) 1630 01:17:25,920 --> 01:17:29,650 Oh, For God's sake. You would all make the worst spies ever. 1631 01:17:29,790 --> 01:17:30,890 (WALTER LAUGHS) 1632 01:17:31,030 --> 01:17:32,400 - Happy birthday! - Happy birthday! 1633 01:17:32,530 --> 01:17:35,440 Oh, yay! 1634 01:17:36,060 --> 01:17:38,460 (SIGHS) Another year older. 1635 01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:42,130 Here's to the decay of my body and growing old alone. 1636 01:17:42,270 --> 01:17:46,070 Here, this came in the mail a few days ago. 1637 01:17:47,570 --> 01:17:48,840 Derrick... 1638 01:17:48,980 --> 01:17:51,950 Would you open it up? Your mother is hung. 1639 01:17:52,650 --> 01:17:54,020 That's a line from Auntie Mame. 1640 01:17:54,150 --> 01:17:56,950 It's just a line from life now. You can forget all that. 1641 01:17:58,320 --> 01:17:59,650 It's a Bible. 1642 01:17:59,790 --> 01:18:02,900 It's probably from one of the many churches in Jersey. 1643 01:18:03,520 --> 01:18:04,920 Let me see it. 1644 01:18:08,460 --> 01:18:09,590 Nice Bible. 1645 01:18:16,700 --> 01:18:18,870 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYS) 1646 01:18:30,120 --> 01:18:31,930 I don't understand. 1647 01:18:32,750 --> 01:18:34,090 Who's it from? 1648 01:18:36,220 --> 01:18:37,620 Buddy. 1649 01:18:39,060 --> 01:18:40,390 Let me see the postmark. 1650 01:18:40,530 --> 01:18:42,940 Really? You think it's going to say "Kingdom Come?" 1651 01:18:44,530 --> 01:18:48,030 Akron, Ohio. Yeah, it was forwarded from our last address. 1652 01:18:49,170 --> 01:18:51,970 I... I remember him getting it. 1653 01:18:52,110 --> 01:18:53,950 It's engraved. 1654 01:18:54,080 --> 01:18:56,550 Leather bound, he spent money on this. 1655 01:18:57,310 --> 01:18:58,740 We were in the book store. 1656 01:18:58,880 --> 01:19:01,710 It was... kind of random. 1657 01:19:01,850 --> 01:19:03,150 But... 1658 01:19:04,490 --> 01:19:06,230 the effort he went to... 1659 01:19:06,990 --> 01:19:08,520 It made him really happy. 1660 01:19:09,490 --> 01:19:10,650 Then... 1661 01:19:10,960 --> 01:19:13,190 I mean, on, I-I... 1662 01:19:16,660 --> 01:19:18,430 on some level... 1663 01:19:19,070 --> 01:19:21,380 for him to give me this, I mean... 1664 01:19:24,810 --> 01:19:28,320 Maybe he accepted God a little. 1665 01:19:29,380 --> 01:19:31,920 Maybe even just for my sake, right? 1666 01:19:34,380 --> 01:19:35,510 Yeah. 1667 01:19:35,650 --> 01:19:37,080 (GASPS) Okay. 1668 01:19:37,550 --> 01:19:39,550 Okay, wait, wait, wait. (EXHALES) 1669 01:19:46,330 --> 01:19:49,100 We're going to church. Now. All of us. Let's go. 1670 01:19:49,230 --> 01:19:51,230 What? Really? We're going to church? Now? 1671 01:19:51,370 --> 01:19:54,010 (SIGHS) He's not gonna be in purgatory. 1672 01:19:54,140 --> 01:19:56,140 I can make it up to him. 1673 01:19:56,270 --> 01:19:58,600 I-I was just laying here thinking... 1674 01:19:58,740 --> 01:20:02,010 Buddy died never having found faith, but I was wrong. 1675 01:20:02,140 --> 01:20:04,240 He had so much faith in us. 1676 01:20:05,550 --> 01:20:07,320 What're you all standing there for? 1677 01:20:07,450 --> 01:20:08,680 - Move! Go! - All right. 1678 01:20:08,820 --> 01:20:09,790 - Church? - Go! 1679 01:20:09,920 --> 01:20:11,390 - Go! - Church... 1680 01:20:11,520 --> 01:20:12,950 Yay. Happy birthday. 1681 01:20:15,920 --> 01:20:19,320 (SCREEN DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) 1682 01:20:23,530 --> 01:20:24,560 So... 1683 01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:29,530 you really think he found God all of a sudden? 1684 01:20:31,670 --> 01:20:33,370 Maybe he did. 1685 01:20:34,940 --> 01:20:36,670 In what reality? 1686 01:20:36,980 --> 01:20:38,480 I don't buy it. 1687 01:20:39,750 --> 01:20:42,560 I don't see what's so great about reality. 1688 01:20:43,420 --> 01:20:45,360 It just doesn't work for me. 1689 01:20:49,190 --> 01:20:51,520 How'd you get it postmarked from Akron? 1690 01:20:56,360 --> 01:20:57,460 What? 1691 01:20:57,700 --> 01:20:59,130 That was genius. 1692 01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:01,970 I didn't. 1693 01:21:03,240 --> 01:21:04,450 You didn't? 1694 01:21:05,010 --> 01:21:06,210 I didn't. 1695 01:21:09,980 --> 01:21:11,620 I got Ernie Saracino to. 1696 01:21:13,680 --> 01:21:14,880 There it is. 1697 01:21:15,350 --> 01:21:17,250 It got her out of bed, didn't it? 1698 01:21:17,380 --> 01:21:18,680 So what? 1699 01:21:19,020 --> 01:21:20,120 Now we just spend the rest of our lives 1700 01:21:20,250 --> 01:21:21,750 pretending Dad found God? 1701 01:21:22,720 --> 01:21:24,060 Who's it hurting? 1702 01:21:24,390 --> 01:21:26,520 Ruth Gordon said, "Some days you have to lie." 1703 01:21:29,860 --> 01:21:31,900 You pretend you don't know me in school. 1704 01:21:32,030 --> 01:21:33,330 You're good with that lie. 1705 01:21:34,770 --> 01:21:35,800 Look. 1706 01:21:37,370 --> 01:21:40,500 You're gonna move to New York, and you'll fit in there. 1707 01:21:41,110 --> 01:21:43,510 And you're gonna be really successful. 1708 01:21:44,710 --> 01:21:46,040 I'm-- I'm not. 1709 01:21:47,280 --> 01:21:49,880 I need to fit in here, and... 1710 01:21:50,150 --> 01:21:51,780 I just can't with you around. 1711 01:21:52,750 --> 01:21:54,520 You think I'm going to be successful? 1712 01:21:54,660 --> 01:21:57,430 I'm-- I'm not talented like you, Les. 1713 01:21:58,330 --> 01:22:00,730 Shit, I'm not even talented for Kansas. 1714 01:22:03,130 --> 01:22:06,330 Dad thought what people don't like about you in school, 1715 01:22:06,470 --> 01:22:08,310 they're gonna love about you on the page. 1716 01:22:09,540 --> 01:22:11,610 I mean, he thought you were gonna be a writer. 1717 01:22:14,510 --> 01:22:16,640 And I'm never really gonna get to know him now. 1718 01:22:19,010 --> 01:22:20,810 'Cause I'm an idiot. 1719 01:22:22,650 --> 01:22:25,950 You're not just an idiot, Derrick. 1720 01:22:27,190 --> 01:22:29,090 No one's just one thing. 1721 01:22:30,620 --> 01:22:32,420 You're also selfish and unfair. 1722 01:22:32,560 --> 01:22:34,160 (SCOFFS) Okay. 1723 01:22:34,300 --> 01:22:36,570 (CHUCKLES) 1724 01:22:36,700 --> 01:22:39,240 I think we treat each other terribly 'cause we're family. 1725 01:22:39,370 --> 01:22:40,710 And we know we can. 1726 01:22:46,310 --> 01:22:48,220 (SNIFFLES) 1727 01:22:52,250 --> 01:22:54,120 Wanna hear something funny? 1728 01:22:56,250 --> 01:22:58,420 I tried out for the football team here. 1729 01:23:00,950 --> 01:23:02,220 I didn't make it. 1730 01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:04,400 (ORGAN PLAYING) 1731 01:23:04,530 --> 01:23:07,940 (GIRL SINGING) ♪ O holy night ♪ 1732 01:23:08,060 --> 01:23:13,060 ♪ The stars Are brightly shining ♪ 1733 01:23:13,200 --> 01:23:15,930 ♪ It is the night ♪ 1734 01:23:16,070 --> 01:23:20,770 ♪ Of our dear Savior's birth ♪ 1735 01:23:22,080 --> 01:23:25,350 ♪ Long lay the world ♪ 1736 01:23:25,480 --> 01:23:30,210 ♪ In sin and error pining ♪ 1737 01:23:30,350 --> 01:23:33,080 ♪ Till He appeared ♪ 1738 01:23:33,220 --> 01:23:39,220 ♪ And the soul felt its worth ♪ 1739 01:23:39,360 --> 01:23:43,130 ♪ A thrill of hope ♪ 1740 01:23:43,260 --> 01:23:47,270 ♪ The weary world rejoices ♪ 1741 01:23:47,400 --> 01:23:51,030 ♪ For yonder breaks ♪ 1742 01:23:51,370 --> 01:23:55,440 ♪ A new and glorious morn' ♪ 1743 01:23:55,580 --> 01:23:58,320 ♪ Fall ♪ 1744 01:23:58,450 --> 01:24:02,960 ♪ On your knees ♪ 1745 01:24:03,080 --> 01:24:05,980 ♪ O hear ♪ 1746 01:24:06,120 --> 01:24:10,820 ♪ The angel voices ♪ 1747 01:24:10,960 --> 01:24:14,840 ♪ O night ♪ 1748 01:24:14,960 --> 01:24:17,900 ♪ Divine ♪ 1749 01:24:18,030 --> 01:24:21,130 ♪ O night ♪ 1750 01:24:21,270 --> 01:24:25,800 ♪ When Christ was born ♪ 1751 01:24:25,940 --> 01:24:30,110 ♪ O night ♪ 1752 01:24:30,240 --> 01:24:34,810 ♪ Divine ♪ 1753 01:24:34,950 --> 01:24:38,950 ♪ O night ♪ 1754 01:24:39,320 --> 01:24:45,360 ♪ O night divine ♪ 1755 01:24:48,860 --> 01:24:54,400 (ORGAN CONTINUES) 1756 01:24:54,770 --> 01:24:56,270 - Thank you. - Thank you, Macy. 1757 01:25:05,480 --> 01:25:06,910 Look, I've been thinking. 1758 01:25:08,350 --> 01:25:13,980 I never wanna hear you say you only have five years to make it. 1759 01:25:14,420 --> 01:25:15,550 I played that card with your father, 1760 01:25:15,690 --> 01:25:17,320 and it made us both miserable. 1761 01:25:17,460 --> 01:25:20,790 It's like starting a race with 100 extra pounds on your back. 1762 01:25:20,930 --> 01:25:23,340 You're either all in or you're not. 1763 01:25:23,530 --> 01:25:25,530 - You hear me? - Yeah. 1764 01:25:26,630 --> 01:25:28,670 And don't get so comfortable here. 1765 01:25:29,100 --> 01:25:30,530 We're leaving. 1766 01:25:33,570 --> 01:25:34,870 Come on, let's go. 1767 01:25:46,820 --> 01:25:48,750 - You wanna take a break? - Hmm? 1768 01:25:48,890 --> 01:25:51,050 I mean... You let me know if I'm working you too hard, okay? 1769 01:25:51,190 --> 01:25:52,460 Oh, no, I'm good. 1770 01:25:52,590 --> 01:25:54,060 Seriously, Les, give me a hand. 1771 01:25:54,190 --> 01:25:55,390 Oh. 1772 01:25:58,030 --> 01:25:59,560 - Well... - (DERRICK SIGHS) 1773 01:25:59,700 --> 01:26:01,770 ...you still look terrible. 1774 01:26:02,600 --> 01:26:04,470 But I don't feel terrible. 1775 01:26:05,070 --> 01:26:07,540 Anyway, you oughta see what I'm looking at. 1776 01:26:07,670 --> 01:26:09,170 (LAUGHS) 1777 01:26:09,310 --> 01:26:11,540 Are we staying in empty houses Dee Baskin's selling again? 1778 01:26:11,680 --> 01:26:14,140 (GRUNTS) I negotiated a better deal than that. 1779 01:26:14,280 --> 01:26:15,880 Especially after I heard Joe Henley, 1780 01:26:16,020 --> 01:26:17,460 who took over for Buddy, 1781 01:26:17,580 --> 01:26:19,380 tanked in Milwaukee doing 1782 01:26:19,520 --> 01:26:22,150 Death of a Salesman, of all things. 1783 01:26:22,290 --> 01:26:23,850 If we get our shot in Milwaukee, 1784 01:26:23,990 --> 01:26:26,960 we're gonna do a full season of nothing but Neil Simon. 1785 01:26:27,090 --> 01:26:28,590 Money in the bank. 1786 01:26:28,730 --> 01:26:30,290 (DERRICK) What if we don't get Milwaukee? 1787 01:26:30,430 --> 01:26:31,930 We'll get it. 1788 01:26:32,070 --> 01:26:34,240 Anyway, I've got a couple of tricks up my sleeves. 1789 01:26:34,370 --> 01:26:37,100 Good things are coming, boys. I can feel it in my bones. 1790 01:26:37,240 --> 01:26:38,210 Mm. 1791 01:26:38,340 --> 01:26:40,100 Maybe that's arthritis. 1792 01:26:41,410 --> 01:26:43,470 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 1793 01:26:43,610 --> 01:26:45,910 Feels weird doing this without Dad. 1794 01:26:46,050 --> 01:26:48,920 Well, I guess that makes us weirdos again. 1795 01:26:50,320 --> 01:26:52,830 Derrick, step it up. If you make me late for Ed Monroe-- 1796 01:26:52,950 --> 01:26:55,550 Seriously? I'm literally the only one doing work here. 1797 01:26:55,690 --> 01:26:57,390 Talk back and I'll put you center stage 1798 01:26:57,520 --> 01:26:58,920 in every dance number this summer. 1799 01:26:59,060 --> 01:27:00,920 No, no, way. I'm not doing another musical. 1800 01:27:01,060 --> 01:27:02,690 Triple time step under the spotlight. 1801 01:27:02,830 --> 01:27:04,460 No, uh, you-- you can't-- You can't make me do it. 1802 01:27:04,600 --> 01:27:06,960 I'm a woman drunk with power. I will make you do mime. 1803 01:27:07,100 --> 01:27:08,500 (CHUCKLES) 1804 01:27:08,640 --> 01:27:10,880 Come on, let's go. Say goodbye to Walter. 1805 01:27:13,240 --> 01:27:14,910 - Bye. - See ya. 1806 01:27:30,560 --> 01:27:32,400 (CAR DOOR OPENS) 1807 01:27:33,590 --> 01:27:36,360 - (CAR DOOR CLOSES) - Thank you, Walter. 1808 01:27:39,300 --> 01:27:40,560 Anytime. 1809 01:27:43,400 --> 01:27:44,300 (WHISPERS) Hey. 1810 01:27:52,310 --> 01:27:53,340 (WALTER GRUNTS) 1811 01:27:53,480 --> 01:27:54,750 (HONKS HORN) 1812 01:27:54,880 --> 01:27:56,380 - (DERRICK) Come on, Mom. - Yeah, I'm coming. 1813 01:27:56,680 --> 01:27:58,580 (ENGINE STARTS) 1814 01:28:16,040 --> 01:28:17,210 God. 1815 01:28:18,100 --> 01:28:19,300 (GRUNTS) 1816 01:28:19,770 --> 01:28:22,010 When I was 29, I joined the U.S.O. 1817 01:28:22,140 --> 01:28:25,880 I had no particular talent, but I didn't let that get in my way. 1818 01:28:26,010 --> 01:28:27,040 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 1819 01:28:27,180 --> 01:28:28,250 You felt it was your patriotic duty? 1820 01:28:28,380 --> 01:28:30,910 I was single. I was 29. 1821 01:28:31,050 --> 01:28:32,620 I went for the boys. 1822 01:28:32,750 --> 01:28:34,990 - (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1823 01:28:35,120 --> 01:28:38,120 Keep that swagger, remember to smile and have fun. 1824 01:28:38,260 --> 01:28:39,190 Off you go. 1825 01:28:39,330 --> 01:28:40,530 Sparkle! 1826 01:28:41,960 --> 01:28:44,090 Could you put these at stage-left prop table for me? 1827 01:28:44,230 --> 01:28:45,200 Thank you so much. 1828 01:28:45,330 --> 01:28:47,470 Places, guys, have a great show. 1829 01:28:48,100 --> 01:28:50,070 - Good show, good show. - (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 1830 01:28:50,200 --> 01:28:51,230 Uh-- You! 1831 01:28:51,370 --> 01:28:53,570 You did good in your one scene. 1832 01:28:53,710 --> 01:28:55,620 But you're done, one and done. 1833 01:28:55,740 --> 01:28:57,010 You take another step toward that stage, 1834 01:28:57,140 --> 01:28:58,740 it'll be your last step, Lester Smart. 1835 01:28:58,880 --> 01:29:00,410 Mom, I'm nowhere near the stage. 1836 01:29:00,550 --> 01:29:03,320 Mom. Can we have the keys to the car? 1837 01:29:03,550 --> 01:29:05,280 (SIGHS) If I can find 'em. 1838 01:29:05,420 --> 01:29:06,920 Go, go, go! 1839 01:29:08,560 --> 01:29:11,130 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 1840 01:29:11,260 --> 01:29:14,940 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS) 1841 01:29:41,320 --> 01:29:42,720 (MUSIC FADES) 1842 01:29:42,860 --> 01:29:44,570 (BUDDY) How's the house? 1843 01:30:05,350 --> 01:30:07,620 What are you up to, Les? 1844 01:30:10,780 --> 01:30:13,750 - Just-- Just watching. - Hmm. 1845 01:30:13,890 --> 01:30:16,960 (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) 1846 01:30:20,230 --> 01:30:21,500 Go. 1847 01:30:21,630 --> 01:30:23,690 (SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES) 1848 01:30:31,500 --> 01:30:33,640 (SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES) 1849 01:30:44,790 --> 01:30:49,930 (INTRO TO "ONE" PLAYING ON PIANO) 1850 01:30:53,830 --> 01:31:00,470 (MEN) * One singular sensation Every little step he takes ♪ 1851 01:31:01,400 --> 01:31:07,370 ♪ One thrilling combination Every move that he makes ♪ 1852 01:31:09,140 --> 01:31:15,480 ♪ One smile and suddenly Nobody else will do ♪ 1853 01:31:16,350 --> 01:31:23,120 ♪ You know you'll never be Lonely with you-know-who ♪ 1854 01:31:23,260 --> 01:31:29,470 ♪ One moment in his presence And you can't forget the rest ♪ 1855 01:31:30,400 --> 01:31:37,610 ♪ For the guy is second best To none, son ♪ 1856 01:31:37,740 --> 01:31:39,500 ♪ Ooh! Sigh! ♪ 1857 01:31:39,640 --> 01:31:41,340 ♪ Give him your attention ♪ 1858 01:31:41,470 --> 01:31:44,880 ♪ Do I Really have to mention ♪ 1859 01:31:45,010 --> 01:31:51,110 ♪ He's the one ♪ 1860 01:31:56,290 --> 01:31:58,990 ♪ She walks into a room And you know ♪ 1861 01:31:59,130 --> 01:32:01,300 (WOMEN) * She's uncommonly rare Very unique ♪ 1862 01:32:01,430 --> 01:32:03,540 ♪ Peripatetic Poetic and chic ♪ 1863 01:32:03,660 --> 01:32:06,330 (ALL) * She walks into a room And you know ♪ 1864 01:32:06,470 --> 01:32:09,040 ♪ From her maddening poise Effortless whirl ♪ 1865 01:32:09,170 --> 01:32:10,530 ♪ She's a special girl ♪ 1866 01:32:10,670 --> 01:32:14,340 ♪ Strolling ♪ 1867 01:32:14,810 --> 01:32:16,270 ♪ Can't help ♪ 1868 01:32:16,540 --> 01:32:20,980 ♪ All of her qualities Extolling ♪ 1869 01:32:21,350 --> 01:32:23,420 ♪ Loaded with charisma Is ma ♪ 1870 01:32:23,550 --> 01:32:25,450 ♪ Jauntily sauntering Ambling shambler ♪ 1871 01:32:25,590 --> 01:32:28,200 ♪ She walks into a room And you know ♪ 1872 01:32:28,320 --> 01:32:30,550 ♪ You must shuffle along Join the parade ♪ 1873 01:32:30,690 --> 01:32:33,060 ♪ She's the quintessence Of making the grade ♪ 1874 01:32:33,190 --> 01:32:36,530 ♪ This is whatcha call Traveling ♪ 1875 01:32:36,660 --> 01:32:38,230 ♪ Oh strut your stuff! ♪ 1876 01:32:38,360 --> 01:32:43,370 ♪ Can't get enough of her ♪ 1877 01:32:43,500 --> 01:32:47,070 ♪ Love her! ♪ 1878 01:32:47,510 --> 01:32:53,050 ♪ I'm a son of a gun She is one of a kind! ♪ 1879 01:32:53,880 --> 01:32:55,050 (MEN) * One ♪ 1880 01:32:55,180 --> 01:32:56,710 (WOMEN) ♪ She walks into a room ♪ 1881 01:32:56,850 --> 01:32:58,280 - ♪ Singular sensation ♪ - ♪ And you know she's ♪ 1882 01:32:58,420 --> 01:32:59,650 (WOMEN) * Uncommonly rare Very unique ♪ 1883 01:32:59,790 --> 01:33:00,560 ♪ Peripatetic Poetic and chic ♪ 1884 01:33:00,690 --> 01:33:01,860 (MEN) * One ♪ 1885 01:33:01,990 --> 01:33:03,750 (WOMEN) ♪ She walks into a room ♪ 1886 01:33:03,890 --> 01:33:05,360 - ♪ Thrilling combination ♪ - ♪ And you know from her ♪ 1887 01:33:05,490 --> 01:33:06,790 (WOMEN) * Maddening poise Effortless whirl ♪ 1888 01:33:06,930 --> 01:33:09,570 ♪ She's a special girl Strolling ♪ 1889 01:33:09,700 --> 01:33:12,440 (MEN) * One smile and suddenly Nobody else ♪ 1890 01:33:12,570 --> 01:33:14,140 - ♪ Can't help ♪ - ♪ Will do ♪ 1891 01:33:14,270 --> 01:33:16,310 (WOMEN) * All of her qualities Extolling ♪ 1892 01:33:16,440 --> 01:33:18,610 (MEN) * You know You'll never be lonely ♪ 1893 01:33:18,740 --> 01:33:20,440 - ♪ With you-know-who ♪ - ♪ Loaded with charisma ♪ 1894 01:33:20,570 --> 01:33:22,840 ♪ Is ma jauntily sauntering Ambling shambler ♪ 1895 01:33:22,980 --> 01:33:25,290 ♪ She walks into a room And you know ♪ 1896 01:33:25,410 --> 01:33:27,680 ♪ You must shuffle along Join the parade ♪ 1897 01:33:27,810 --> 01:33:29,450 ♪ She's the quintessence Of making the grade ♪ 1898 01:33:29,580 --> 01:33:33,320 ♪ This is whatcha call Traveling ♪ 1899 01:33:33,650 --> 01:33:35,050 ♪ Oh, strut your stuff! ♪ 1900 01:33:35,190 --> 01:33:39,890 ♪ Can't get enough of her ♪ 1901 01:33:40,030 --> 01:33:43,440 ♪ Love her! ♪ 1902 01:33:43,560 --> 01:33:45,860 - ♪ I'm a son of a gun ♪ - (MEN) * She's the... ♪ 1903 01:33:46,000 --> 01:33:50,570 - ♪ She is one of a kind! ♪ - (MEN) * One ♪ 1904 01:33:50,940 --> 01:33:57,380 (ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) 1905 01:34:00,980 --> 01:34:02,150 (ALL) * One! ♪ 1906 01:34:03,020 --> 01:34:08,060 ♪ Singular sensation Every little step she takes ♪ 1907 01:34:08,190 --> 01:34:11,350 ♪ One! Thrilling combination ♪ 1908 01:34:11,490 --> 01:34:14,220 ♪ Every move that she makes ♪ 1909 01:34:15,730 --> 01:34:21,770 ♪ One smile and suddenly Nobody else will do ♪ 1910 01:34:22,600 --> 01:34:29,210 ♪ You know you'll never be Lonely with you-know-who ♪ 1911 01:34:29,340 --> 01:34:31,040 ♪ One! ♪ 1912 01:34:31,180 --> 01:34:35,020 ♪ Moment in her presence And you can't forget the rest ♪ 1913 01:34:36,380 --> 01:34:41,380 ♪ For the girl Is second-best to none ♪ 1914 01:34:41,520 --> 01:34:43,390 ♪ Son ♪ 1915 01:34:43,520 --> 01:34:44,920 ♪ Ooh! Sigh! ♪ 1916 01:34:45,060 --> 01:34:46,860 ♪ Give her your attention ♪ 1917 01:34:46,990 --> 01:34:50,090 ♪ Do I really have to mention ♪ 1918 01:34:50,230 --> 01:34:53,660 ♪ She's the ♪ 1919 01:34:53,800 --> 01:34:57,570 ♪ She's the ♪ 1920 01:34:57,700 --> 01:35:03,270 ♪ She's the one! ♪ 139531

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