All language subtitles for my_boys_s04e05_the_nto

Sometimes it's hard to be faced with the
truth, so we pretend not to see it.

Well, I can handle Megan Fox.

Can who?

I just took the Can You Handle Megan Fox
quiz. It says I can.

Bulge magazine, really? You want me to
read? I'm reading.

Hey, Robert, I'm going to go to the bar
to order a drink.

Would you care to join me?

Uh... I can see that you're trying to
communicate with me, and I want to know

what it is. So, yes.

How to get her to bring her pals into
bed?

With a Z?

They have movie reviews, too. They give
Hurt Locker three thumbs up.

Those aren't thumbs.

Okay. Business of the utmost secrecy.

Business at the store is... Well, there
is no business at the store.

That's too bad. Yeah, and I gotta make
some money, so I have a job interview

with the Bulls PR department.

Well, that's great.

But I haven't done the whole Dark Sox
job interview thing in quite a while.

Maybe you can help me prep? Of course.

That sucks about the store, though. I
feel bad for Kenny.

What did he say?

No, I can't tell him. I really think you
need to warn him. Like, as soon as

possible. Who wants to have that
conversation?

I'll tell him when the time is right.
Now, listen.

There's a super secret Code Red can't
tell anybody situation.

Hey, copy?

Yeah.

Hey, you guys.

Hey. Hey.

You guys remember my sister Tracy,
right?

Yeah. Yes, she's staying with me for a
little while. Oh, what happened to

Got really sick.

Sorry to hear that. Came down with a
case of dickhead -itis.

Ah, yes.

Oh, and we're going to that Mongolian
barbecue place tomorrow to celebrate her

freedom. Galby, I love that place. No
matter what I put on my plate, they just

mix it on that grill. And it all comes
out the exact same, like a giant pile of

brown. Extremely delicioso. Glop, yes.
Love it. In when?

Tomorrow, 8.

We'll see you there.

Done. Oh, Mike, we've got to take a trip
out to Fond du Lac.

It's state sale. Guy's got a bunch of
great Packer stuff.

I'm in.

Really? Yeah, uh, we can use my nephew's
pickup.

Okay, well, I gotta get home and file my
story by 10, so I'll see you guys.

Uh -huh, I'll be right there.

Okay, oh my God, this is perfect.

How often do you and your chick get
fluffy in the barnyard?

Well, in a perfect world, my chick and I
would get fluffy twice a day. Please,

you'd die in a week. Okay, it says here
16 times a month.

It's ridiculous.

Four times a week?

Seems low.

What? Three times a week for us.

Minimum. Plus Free Skate Thursday.

Wait, what do you mean Free Skate
Thursday? No, don't ask, please. I'm

four times a week is low?

Well, you tell us. You're dating
someone.

I mean, that means guaranteed... Boop!

Does four times a week seem low?

I don't know.

Oh, look. Avatar got six bulges.

Yeah, but they gave John Mayer's new
album Four Hummin' Hummin' a Swing, and

it's not that crazy.

You like that?

Oh.

Hey.

Hey, Peach.

Dude, I'm playing this kid from Latvia.
He's like 14, but he's awesome.

Oh, thanks, babe.

No way. In there?

Well, go get it. Hurry up. Hurry up.

Hey, I am going to go take a bath.

Go to bed.

I'm just going to be in the bath.

Some candles and some bubbles.

Okay, babe, I'll try not to wake you.

To my girlfriend, Rini, because I'm a
grown man.

Oh, oh, no, you're shooting me, you're
shooting me.

No matter how hard we pretend, it's
impossible to ignore the truth.

Where's Bobby at? Oh, he'll be here. He,
uh, needed a nap after work.

Oh, good.

I got home after 3 a .m. and he was
still up playing that video game.

Yeah, found asleep when he came to bed.

That's not right. A man should be in bed
with his lady. Can I just say that if

you were my lady... Which I'm not, and
don't say my lady. But if you were, we

wouldn't be playing good army versus bad
army. We'd be playing Mike versus your

band. You've got to get a girlfriend,
man.

Is that why you were so bent out of
shape about the four times a week? Bent

of shape is a little strong.

Well, you've hit it. You're there.

You've reached the NTO.

No.

Wait, what is that? The NTO, all right?
The natural tapering off. Every

relationship has one. The red hot lava
passion has to cool.

I mean, without the NTO, you would burn
each other up with your fiery love blaze

power rods.

Ew, so many times.

Happens to everyone.

I mean, usually it happens in the eighth
year of marriage, but you're an old

soul. Nothing to be ashamed of, okay?
Every relationship needs to cool off a

little bit.

Okay, so there's nothing to worry about,
right? I mean, it's not me.

No. Guys are thick. Just be
straightforward.

Tell Bobby how you feel.

No, I don't want to say something and
then have sex. I won't know if it's, you

know, pity... pity sex or what. I
just... I want him to want me. I'm sure

does. Don't panic.

It's natural. Just give him a little
nudge. I'm sure he'll perk up. You've

in a relationship long enough that
you've actually reached the NTO, okay? I

haven't had that in a long time.

Whose fault is that?

It ain't my fault.

Dude, they always do something. You
know, whether they're finishing my

or they're wearing their hair in the
pigtails, or they're doing the baby

mean, one Wendy, it's time for me to
fake a tapeworm.

Kenny, you okay, man?

No. Uh, this came from the accountant.

I gotta shut the store down. But I can't
fire Mike. It'll kill him.

No, dude, I think he'd be okay.

You really should tell him. No. I'm just
gonna burn the store down and collect

the insurance money. I know a guy.

Yeah, but you always said that guy was
Mike.

Besides, you'd never survive jail.
Wrong. Step one, find your hustle.

Cigarettes, magazines. Step two, you
find the biggest guy there, you throw a

chair at him.

Listen, you gotta promise not to tell
anybody about this.

Oh, man.

Hey, how was business today?

Same. We'll rebound.

Yeah, we will. We'll come back stronger.

Actually, I've been meaning to talk to
you about a mini mall in Chumberg.

We talking expansion?

That's why we're partners.

Oh, my God.

I want to live here.

I am so happy.

Kenny, you don't have any vegetables on
your plate at all. You're going to get

scurvy. Only pirates and models get
scurvy, and I have a vegetable. Thank

Water chestnut. That's a nut.

So,

Brendan. Steffi tells me you collect
comfort posters. Yeah, of course. Do you

know Justin Hampton? Love Justin
Hampton. He's a genius. He has an

Thursday and DJ Turnbuckle's spinning.

Seriously? We're going to that. I know
we are.

DJ Turnbuckle? And Justin Hampton.
That's completely meaningless to me. Me

They've done all this preparation
beforehand.

We're going to take these great
aphrodisiacs, asparagus, oysters,

We're going to put them into one meal
that says, let's get it on.

Right? First thing we're going to do is
we're going to chop up this asparagus.

We're going to eat it.

PJ, what are you doing here?

Seriously?

What are you doing here?

Bobby wanted to see me in a suit. I
thought you went to the gym.

I did.

I actually got some oysters and
chocolate mousse and a movie.

Why are you in a suit?

You can tell her, but that is it. Mike
has a job interview.

Oh, tell Kenny?

He's not telling, Kenny. Dude, you have
to. I will tell him when it is time for

that. Until then, it is time for me to
get the bull's job. And now you know my

life.

Can you pretend to be the head of HR?

Well, actually, I was hoping that, um,
we could make some dinner and curl up to

a very particular movie.

Yeah.

What do you need?

Sit here, ask him these questions.

Wow. Oysters and moose. Thanks.

Yeah, no problem.

What experience prepares you for this
position? Prepares, P -R -E -P -A -I -R?

That is an excellent question, HR lady.

I think... Dude, I love this movie.

I forgot, Mickey Rourke used to look
like a person.

Yeah, and Kim Basinger was so hot, you
actually forgot how crazy she is.

Night,

Pete.

Well, that's great.

No, thank you so much, Barbara.

And may I call you Babs?

Okay, I won't. No, no, I'll see you
Monday.

J to the O to the B to the B. One too
many Bs. I got the job, buddy.

Congrats. And now you can break the news
to Kenny. No, no, no. Dude, I haven't

even given him notice.

Now, use your head, okay? You have to
tell him. What, are you just going to

showing up for work?

No, I'll just rock both jobs until the
store turns around and he doesn't need

me. And when you say rock both jobs,
what's your solution to the can't

be in two places at once thing?

Surgery, dead aunt, time -space
continuum. I'll figure it out.

Dude, please. I'm getting a stomachache.

So I spent $65 on food, and now I have a
crisper full of oysters.

You guys are just in a rut, all right?
Gotta shake things up to get out of it.

I'm not bringing my pals in the bedroom.

Hey, my friend, you have assets which
you generally do not work, all right?

Time to work them.

Hey, like how?

Well, if it was Mike, I'd say rent a
fluffy bunny outfit, but, uh,

sexy librarians, oldest time.

Okay, so just to be clear...

You are suggesting I actually dress as a
librarian?

Sexy librarian.

Look, come on, you can do this. Show me
what you look like with your hair up.

Go on.

Wow, your hair is smoking like that.

Why would I say that?

What's wrong with me?

Go get me a drink, and I want a small
bowl of nut.

Brando, come with me.

What are your intentions with my
girlfriend's sister?

Well, we're going to the Justin Hampton
show.

What do you mean? If you screw up, I
will have both Lane's sisters sitting in

living room glaring at me, saying things
I don't want to hear.

Why do men always, and that's just like
a man, and even Kenny here... We're

going to have a good time, all right?
Relax.

I've been on a million dates.

That doesn't help, okay? I'm just
saying, you mess this up, you're dealing

her.

Wine?

Hey, guy.

Hey. Hey. Where'd you run off to after
lunch, Mike?

Oh, yeah. Mike, why don't you tell the
man where you ran off to?

I had some kind of surgery. What?

Hey, I had an idea for the Schomburg
store.

Online auctions.

That's my partner. Always thinking.

Did you hear yourselves?

I love working with you, man. Me too. We
should do it forever.

So great. Look at your hair.

Oh, it's my fun mood hair.

I'm in a fun mood.

Want some wine?

Maybe a lot of it? Absolutely.

Mommy needs a wad of wine, Bwenden.

Ooh, they have a shawaz.

So, here you go. I brought you the
Louboutin.

Now you're going to tell me what's going
on between you and Bobby?

Oh, no, it's nothing.

I think we're in a little bit of a rut.
How long has it been?

Honestly, since before he moved in.

What did Bobby say about this?

Oh, no, no, no.

Nobody wants to have that conversation.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm just going to get out of this rut
with some red shoes.

Why do you hurt me?

These aren't shoes.

These are Louboutins.

These are incendiary devices.

I couldn't even carry these in a paper
bag.

Otherwise, the bag will... I know what
incendiary means.

Okay, fine.

But be careful.

Bobby won't be responsible for his
actions.

Rainey, you're complaining to the wrong
guy.

Okay, hold on. Let me get to the train
station.

Hello, Mr. Newman.

Hey!

Are we having sex? Sundays?

Sort of.

It's my girlfriend. I don't know. She's
dressed like she's running for

president.

Oh, it sure is hot in this library.

I really have no idea.

What?

No, no, no.

Rini, she's not with Falcon because it's
a game and we're not fighting in a real

war. I don't want to have this
conversation again.

you doing?

No, not you, Rini. Get back in the
roundhouse.

Hey. Oh, hey, man.

I got a Tracy problem.

You mean like a problem with how much
you like her or like a problem figuring

out when you should propose?

Date two did not go well, okay? She had
fun mood hair.

I'm out. Oh, dude.

Hey, guys. Hey, what's going on?

Brando's ruining my life.

Yeah?

Tracy, not feeling it? Not feeling it.
Well, you better start feeling it, okay?

Because I got two sisters complaining
about everything.

I have to clean my toothbrush.

The what? You know, I got to clean off
the toothbrush handle. Yeah, the

toothpaste ooze settles down into the
toothbrush mug.

Drives me crazy. And that is why I'm
single.

That's not why you're single.

Brandon, why don't you just tell
Stephanie that you think her sister's

What's the problem?

That's why you're single. I can't, man.
Would you want to tell Stephanie you're

not into her sister? I mean, dude, come
on. You got to help me out here.

Brandon, this is between you and
Stephanie.

I'm talking to a ghost.

What are you so dressed up for?

Um, funeral.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, my God.

Brendan, how did your date go with
Tracy?

How did she say it was?

Great. She said it was great.

It was.

It really was.

Okay, that is it. You know what? People
just need to say what is on their minds

right now.

I mean, we all know that everybody at
this table is lying a little bit, okay?

it's time that people come clean.

Brendan?

Are you lying about my sister?

All right, Steph. Look, your sister's
great, okay? I just, you know, I'm so

right now.

What are you talking about?

Well, my therapist, I mean, said that I
shouldn't even date anybody for like a

year, so, you know. You're not in
therapy.

Well, also, um, I don't date women of
color.

What?

What about Monica Lambert in college?
She was black.

Was she?

Oh, Brando, this is your bottom.

So you'd rather come off as a racist and
say you don't want to date my sister?

I'm sorry, Steph. I like her. I really
do. I just, I don't know. I don't see us

having a future together.

Can you believe that?

You're ruining my life.

Plus, her sister is a terrific woman.

Kenny, Kenny, it's okay.

Okay, calm down.

Sometimes two great people don't gel.

It's okay.

Sorry, Steph.

No worries, honey.

Tracy's a big girl. So what are you
going to tell her?

Oh, I'm going to tell her that Brendan
hates black people.

Mike, what about you? Did you have
something you want to say?

I like black people.

Mike.

Kenny, I can't work at the store anymore
because I got a new job.

With the book.

And I started today, so I quit.

Oh, my gosh.

That's great.

Really? Yeah, it's great because you're
fired.

No way.

Yeah, I met with the accountant. He says
we got to close the doors. That's

great. It's not that great, but I'm glad
to know that you're going to be all

right. There we go.

Doesn't that feel good to just clear the
air?

I mean, we're all friends here, guys. So
if we're not being honest with each

other, what are we even doing?

Yes.

Come on, do I have to?

Everybody up. Come on. No, I have
checks.

Don't care.

Let's go.

Where are we going?

Brando's room.

Really?

What's going on?

I read this stupid article about how
often couples have sex.

And, I mean, we haven't, you know, since
you moved in.

And I'm kind of worried that something's
wrong. And then Brando told me about

the NTO.

Brando?

You should have talked to me.

No, I know that, but if I talked to you,
it would secure the result. And then

Mike agreed.

Mike? You talked to Mike about this? I
find that very confusing.

I've never been in here.

No, me neither.

This place smells funky.

Robert, will you take it easy?

Dude, what is that smell?

Sock? Gerbil.

You have a gerbil? Yeah, I'm eight.

I'm just... I'm afraid you don't find me
attractive anymore.

Paige, what are you talking about? I
find you incredibly sexy.

I mean, you're gorgeous.

And you don't take crap from anybody.

And you know Carrie Wood's ERA is rookie
year.

34.

God, I want you.

No, but then why are we tapering off?

I mean, my feelings haven't tapered off.
You know, I don't want to taper off.

It's not you.

I guess, I don't know, I guess I just
haven't felt very sexy lately.

Like I lost all my mojo or something.

I don't know, maybe it's just the stress
of everything crashing down and my

family and no apartment, no money.

But babe, none of that matters to me.

But I thought chicks were into straight
cash dollars.

What are we going to do?

This level of disorganization makes me
uncomfortable.

Can you hear them? Are they still out
there?

I'm not nosing in their business.

Kenny, listen at the door.

I don't want to press my face against
Brando's door. What if it sticks?

Don't fling things.

I'm not a monkey.

Listen, we are going to have to go
through stuff like this, but we have to

able to talk about it. I know.

I know. Wow, we're really, like, in a
relationship.

I know.

It's a brave new world.

Hey, you want to know what Greg Maddox's
career ERA is?

Oh, don't do that.

Oh, it's 316.

Oh, yeah.

We at least need our beers. I can't take
this anymore. Let's just pick which one

of us we're going to eat.

I'm not going out there.

Pete, I need my phone.

I got to pee and all my jars are full.

Even though it's embarrassing and
sometimes painful, it's always best to

the truth with eyes wide open.