All language subtitles for i_love_lucy_s08e02_lucy_makes_room_for_danny

The Lutfi Desi Comedy Hour.

With special guest stars Danny Thomas,
Marjorie Lord, Rusty Hamer, Angela

Cartwright. With Vivian Vance, William
Froley, and Little Ricky.

Look, Lucy, we're only going to stay
there two months, not two years.

Could you close this one for me, please,
dear?

Oh, no.

It took me an hour to get it closed
before. Why are you opening it again?

Well, there was one coat in the closet
that I forgot to pack.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Besides, you wouldn't want the wife of a
big movie star to look crummy, would

you? Look, I'm not a big star.

I'm just going out there to make one
picture.

So maybe you could look a little crummy.

Anything in that bag I need. Oh, sure,
yeah, I know.

Well,

come

on

and help me, will you?

Oh, yes, sir. Sit on this other side.

Hi, honey.

Hi, dear.

Oh, so you're really going, huh?

If we can ever get this suitcase close,
we're going.

Ethel, how about giving us a hand? Maybe
the three of us can close it. Okay.

We'll all sit on it, eh? All right.

Thanks

a

lot.

Maybe you better come along with us. I
can always use a good suitcase closer.

Two months isn't a lifetime.

I know.

Come on now, buck up, baby doll.

Okay, I'll be all right.

Is there anything else I can help you
with? No, we're all ready to go as soon

the Williams get here. Already, Mommy?
Okay.

Yeah, we got everything now.

Oh, son, say goodbye to your Aunt Ethel.
You won't be seeing her for two months.

Bye.

treat it like our own home. I know you
will. Oh, and before I forget, I have a

little list of do's and don'ts for the
house.

That reminds me, honey. You sure haven't
delivered the Sunday paper, huh?

Lucy, why don't you go and get little
Rick at the end?

Why don't you come in and make yourself
at home? Oh, thank you.

I've got your signed copy of the lease
here. Oh, thanks a lot. Would you like

to make out a check for the first
month's rent? No, no, no, Ryan.

We'll start on the... first of the
month.

Yeah, but that's not until next week.

Well, you can mail it to me. In the
meantime, be my guest.

Well, isn't that nice?

Well, kids, how do you like the house?

I'm terribly disappointed.

That's not so bad, but what are we going
to do about the house and the... Oh,

that's right. I forgot about that. Oh,
well, now, look, that can't be too much

of a problem. I'm sure we can work out
something.

How?

This is their house for the next two
months. They got a lease.

Oh, Dad, listen, when we tell them what
happened, I'm sure they'll just move

right out.

Where are they going to go, honey? They
already rented their apartment in New

York. Honey, since they're such nice
people, I'm sure they rented to nice

people, and as soon as the nice people
they rented to find out what's happened,

I'm sure...

Now, look, we'll just tell them what
happened, and I'm sure they'll insist on

just tearing this lease right up.

Kathy! Daddy!

Look. What?

Just remember, the suggestion has to
come from them. I know that. Did you

Yes, can we talk to you for a minute?
Oh, yes. You know, Linda has just fallen

in love with little Ricky. Oh?

Rusty's fallen in love with the lizards.
Ah.

But most of all, we've fallen in love
with the house. That's for sure. What

we do for you?

Well, I...

somewhere else?

Well, uh... No, it's been postponed.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, isn't
it awful? Yeah, that's show business.

Yeah, that's show business.

Yeah, that's what kind of business it
is, all right, for sure.

Well, uh, you might say that, uh, this
sort of puts us on the spot.

Spot? Yeah, the picture postponed and
not...

sort of puts you on the spot, doesn't
it? Yeah. Yeah.

What are you going to do?

Well, gosh, we really, really don't
know. Oh, dear.

Oh, I'm sure this thing can be
straightened out somehow.

Boy, that's a perfect solution.

Oh, it sounds like a great place. Oh, it
is. It is. It's a wonderful place. Come

on, Kathy. What are we waiting for?
Let's help them move.

Oh.

We'll stay at the motel. In that flea
bag?

Who can sleep there on that noisy
highway?

Donnie, just a minute. I have an idea.

We can stay with the Mercers, you see.
They stay in our...

You can just drop in any time. That's
right.

Any time at all. After all, our house is
your house. It sure is.

After 17 years of practically living
with the Ricardos, it's about time we

vacation from them. Well, you may want a
vacation from them, but I don't.

Oh, here they are. Oh, it's going to be
terrible saying goodbye.

I can stand anything but a scene.

I'm going to cut this short.

Look, we hate long goodbyes. Goodbye.

It is for something that she absolutely
needs. She must have been over there 15

times in the last three days.

Yeah, yeah, well.

I'm going to fix you some pancakes this
morning, Rick, huh? Oh, thank you,

honey.

Oh, hi, dear.

Lucy. Huh?

Don't you think you've been going over
the Williams a little bit too often?

You're bothering them. Who's bothering
them? Kathy couldn't have been nicer,

Daddy wasn't even awake yet. He sleeps
until noon when he works in the

nightclub.

Like a fly swatter in December.

Well, they don't all go south for the
winter.

Lucy, you're just being a busybody.

I am not being a busybody.

How do you like that?

Just one more time.

It's a nosy woman.

It's me. It's me.

Holy Toledo, do I look that bad?

You want the truth? No, get out of here.

What are you going to do about that
super snooper? Every 15 minutes she

in, it's like living in Grand Central
Station.

Oh, darling, stop exaggerating.

Exaggerating? That sick goldfish has
more primacy than I have.

often to get things. There can't be
anything left to get.

You don't come here to get things. Come
here to spy on us. Oh, honey, don't be

silly. Why would she want to spy?

to get the rest of my things, and I
promise I'm not going to bother you

Oh, it's no bother at all. I'll go up
and get the children off to school.

Hmm, for breakfast, too.

can't eat my breakfast. You got me so
upset.

Well, then go sit down and cool off.

A woman every five minutes.

We run in this place so we can live
peace.

I don't care.

I have a lease.

You come back in here one more time,
I'll have you arrested.

What do you want him for?

Well, Fred is an experienced landlord. I
have an idea he'd know a nice legal way

to kick out a tenant. Where there's a
lease, there's a loophole.

What Rick is saying. I'm just going to
take a look at the copy of our lease.

What Rick is saying.

Oh, hi, Kathy. Come on in. Hello, Ethel.
Hi.

Oh, Lucy. Hi.

I hope you're not too upset the way
Danny lost his temper yesterday.

Think nothing of it.

Kathy, can I fix you a cup of coffee or
something? Oh, no, thanks, Ethel. I'm

rushing to the station to catch the next
train to New York, and your car's in

the driveway. Could somebody move it?
Oh, yeah, Ricky.

The ride's out, honey. Listen, he's
going to the village. You want him to

you off at the station?

Oh, fine.

By the way, I left the rent check for
Danny to sign when he wakes up. Oh,

there's no rush about that.

Oh, it's the first of the month, and
Danny likes to be punctual.

I left it on his dresser with a note so
he can't miss it. Oh, well, thank you.

Yes, ma 'am. Oh.

a station on your way in? Why, sure. I'd
love to. I hope it won't take you out

of your way. No, not at all, honey.

Bye. Bye. See you later. Come back over,
Kathy.

Bye.

She is the sweetest girl. She's got such
a nice disposition.

As long as you couldn't be in your own
house, you're very lucky to have

as nice as... Hey, that's it.

What's what? That's how to get rid of
the Williams. Right here, paragraph

If a tenant at any time is in default on
payment of rent on day or date agreed

between said... tenant, and landlord,
then said landlord may terminate this

lease and remove all persons from
premises without further notice.

So? So if the Williams don't pay the
rent on time, we can evict them.

Oh, but they are going to pay the rent.
Danny's going to sign the check just as

soon as he wakes up.

While Danny is asleep, I am going to
tiptoe over to the bedroom, take the

check and the note, and tiptoe out
again.

Danny will think Kathy has paid us.
Kathy will think Danny has paid us.

And the first thing tomorrow morning,
out they go for non -payment of rent.

Lucy, you can't take that check. That's
stealing.

Ethel, how can you say that?

In the first place, the check is made
out to us, so it's really our check.

In the second place, the check isn't
signed, so it isn't worth anything.

So how can you say taking something that
belongs to you already and isn't worth

anything anyway is stealing?

He caught you over there again. He'd
have you thrown in jail.

Honey, Danny is asleep.

Don't worry. I'll be back in five
minutes.

Five minutes or 30 days. Oh.

I don't think it's such a hot idea, this
commuting, honey.

I miss you. You miss me?

Uh -huh.

I miss you a lot. I don't get to see you
much anymore.

Living in a country like this.

on the coffee can wait scratch night.

Harder, baby, harder. Oh, not that hard.

Come a little higher.

Oh, gee, that feels good.

Do it with both hands, it'll feel twice
as good.

Oh, good.

Oh, don't tickle me, lover.

Sweetheart, lover, don't.

So that I could get the check and...

causing trouble between a husband and a
wife.

I'm rotten to the core.

No, Lucy, you're not. Yes, I am.

Oh, no, you're not. But I understand.

You do.

Of course. I know how you feel about
your home. I'm a woman, too.

Yeah, and what a woman.

You just saved my life. Oh.

Are you still mad at me? You're going to
forgive me, honey?

Huh? I said, are you going to forgive
me?

As long as Tani forgives you.

Kathy forgives you. I guess I'll have
to. Oh, thank you.

it is for you to live in your own home.

So why don't we swap houses?

We'll live in the guest house and the
Mertzes can move in the big house with

you. How about that, honey? I think
that's a wonderful idea.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

That's very kind and very generous of
you. Of course, we could adjust the

You see, you will only have to pay $75 a
month instead of the $200 that you're

paying now.

Sounds fine. When do we move? Yeah.

I think we'd better check with the
Mertz's on it. Oh, Ethel will be

move in here with us.

Well, I know that, but Fred's still in
New York, and I would like to get Fred's

okay. How much rent are you charging the
Mertz's to move in here with us?

Nothing. You just got Fred's okay.

Oh, boy, I didn't know I'd taken so much
stuff out of the big house.

Look at the junk dump carrying.

got to give this a little thought.

What is there to think about? We're
moving in with the Ricardos rent -free,

-E -E.

That's not the point, I thought.

Fred, have you been drinking?

Hey, Rick, what made you think you had
the right to rent my house?

Your house?

Yes, my house.

I own that house. I know that, but I
happen to hold a lease on that house,

it's up to me to decide if I'm going to
rent it to anyone.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

How much are you charging the Williams
for my house?

Same as I charge you, $75 a month.

Fred, can't you get it through your
thick skull? The Williams will be paying

rent and we'll be living with the
Ricardos for nothing.

Yeah, Fred, you got a good thing going
here, so don't foul it up.

I don't want to get technical, but if
anyone's going to rent my house to the

Williams, I'd like to be the one that
does it. What?

house is worth $150 a month.

Then how come you only pay me $75 a
month? Because that's all you ask me.

Because you're a schnook. I don't have
to be one.

Oh, just a moment. I have no intention
of being a schnook.

If you think I'm going to pay you $150
for that little shack, you've got

thing coming.

Oh, what are you squawking about, banana
nose?

Ethel, keep out of this. Business is
business.

Well, okay, that's what we get for
trying to be nice, all right?

Please read the calendar.

Williams versus Ricardo, Ricardo versus
Williams.

Mertz versus Ricardo, Ricardo versus
Mertz.

These are the principles, Your Honor.

Well, for the sake of expediency, it
might be wise to consolidate these

Let's see now.

The Williams, who are the Williams?

You. You are suing the Ricardos for

trespassing. Also, conversion of one...

I beg your pardon, sir.

What's conversion?

Conversion is the wrongful exercise of
control over personal property by a

person or persons not entitled to
possession thereof.

Oh, conversion.

It's polite for stealing.

negligence. Negligence? Yes, sir. You
are charged with permitting a person or

persons to enter the premises and remove
one electric toaster.

Permitting? She came in and took it.

You allowed me to. And you, sir, are
also accused of being a masher.

To wit, precipitating involuntary back
-scratching and nuzzling in the neck

region.

The Mertzes are suing the Ricardos for
attempted eviction and for defamation of

character. Specifically, the defendant's
Ricardos are accused of calling the

plaintiff Mertz a miserable tightwad.

As a countersuit, the Ricardos are suing
the Mertzes for violation of lease to

wit, permitting two families to live in
a one -family dwelling.

The Merkses. Oh.

Thank you, Your Honor.

We have known the Ricardos for about 17

years. And we have moved into their...
We live in their guest house.

been sponging on us for several days,
they tried to evict us from our own

after which she had the nerve, the
unmitigated gall, to call me a miserable

tightwad. That's my story, Your Honor.

Mr. Williams, would you please present
your case?

The son of poor but honest immigrant
parents, I learned many things.

The most important of these is that an
American is guaranteed

by the Constitution the right to life,
liberty, and the pursuit of

happiness.

I bent over backward to try to help
these people.

of the big house.

The guest house, Your Honor.

What was my reward for this humanitarian
effort?

Insults.

Insults from this man.

Name -calling to wit.

Banana notes.

to pay twice the rent he had been paid.

I ask your honor, is this life?

Is this liberty?

Is this happiness?

Is this America?

I rest my case.

Lose my voice because I got laryngitis
from the brutal beating that I took out

in the freezing snow from that woman.

You see...

This lady, she yanked her into the
freezing snow, and this is what...

Keep walking.

Open your shoulders.

Now, I'll watch you. Oh, yes, you.

as he forced you, he forced you to
scratch his back.

And that's how you lost your voice.

Oh, what happened?

How did that happen?

Then, then, yes, then.

Oh, the mess, everybody wheeling around.
They were tumbling over one. Oh, out

the window.

They broke the window.

Watch it. Watch it.

She slapped you. She pushed you. Pushed
you. Gave you a massage.

Gave you a facial.

No. She went to the window.

neither to molest nor see one another
again.

Proceed. Well, as you know, in cases of
this nature, it's always the children

who suffer.

The court agrees.

But how do you propose to solve the
problem of who lives where?

Rusty's daddy has a lease, so they
should stay in our house.

That's very generous of you, but I'm
afraid it won't work.

You stay in your house, and we'll stay
in the guest house. You know how your

mother is.

Yeah, I know.

Well, that's very fine, but what about
the murder?

hear what you have to say.

Come right up here. There we are.

There. We feel Mr.

Merck should take his wife to Miami for
two months.

In the first place, it won't freeze his
ears.

In the second place, it will remove the
curse of being a miserable tightwad.

If you adults could just act as sensibly
as your youngsters, you wouldn't be

here in this court.

I feel that we owe them a deep debt of
gratitude.

Cases dismissed.

This court is adjourned.

Are you kidding? You're the luckiest man
in the world. You've got a perfect

wife.

Yes. Perfect?

Absolutely. She can't talk, and she's a
great backscratcher.