All language subtitles for i_love_lucy_s03e06_lucy_tells_the_truth

That happens right out on the stage, and
there's nothing you can do about it. I

know. Is anybody hungry? Hey, Fred, do
you remember what happened to that quick

change artist? You know, the one who
used to change her clothes in the dark

right out on the stage?

Do I?

Boy, was she ever mad at that
electrician. What happened?

Well, she called for her tights, and he
thought she said light.

Amusing. Oh, I'm sorry, Lucy.

Oh, we shouldn't talk about our old
times in show business in front of Lucy.

makes her feel left out.

Oh, no, it doesn't. Yeah.

If you haven't been in show business
yourself, it must all seem kind of dull.

I've been in show business.

Oh, Ethel means real show business, not
trying to get in Ricky's act.

I've been in show business.

Honey, Ethel means show business, not
playing a petunia in a grammar school

recital.

You think you know all there is to know
about me, don't you? Remind me sometime

to tell you about my experience in
musical comedy. Come on, Ethel, let's

some coffee.

Hey, just a minute.

You were in musical comedy?

It was before I met you, dear. Come on,
Ethel. Now, wait, wait a minute. This is

very interesting.

What was the name of the musical comedy?

Oh, leave her alone, Ricky. She's just
exaggerating, as usual.

I am not.

Well, what was the name of the musical
comedy?

Oklahoma.

Oklahoma?

Oklahoma, and I was the star, too.

Yeah? What was your maiden name, Alfred
Drake?

Well, maybe I wasn't exactly a star, but
would you believe I was a featured

player?

Chorus girl?

Ticket taker?

Lucy, why don't you tell the truth?

You know that you were never in
Oklahoma.

I was, too. I spent two weeks in Tulsa
once.

Why do you do it? You always fib and you
always get caught.

I do not fib. I never told a fib in my
life. Oh, there she goes again.

Well, it isn't fibbing. I just like to
color things a little.

Well, why didn't you say so? I'll buy
you some watercolors.

Oh, you're all very funny. Very funny.

Oh, thank you.

Flowers.

Oh, Ricky, you shouldn't have.

I didn't.

You did?

Oh, no, these are for you.

For me?

Who's sending you flowers?

Get well quick, laugh, Jim and Dorothy.

I feel fine.

dinner with Jim and Dorothy Wynn
tonight, so I told them that you

ankle. There's another one.

Oh, now, what's the matter with that?
That's just a little social fib.

Honey, you knew that we were gonna have
dinner with the Mercers. Why didn't you

just tell them the truth?

You can't tell people the truth they
think you're lying.

You have to lie to make them think
you're telling the truth.

Well, it's not funny. You gotta cut it
out. Now, now, Ricky, don't be too tough

on Lucy.

Thanks, Fred.

She can't help it if she's a liar.

mean it like that. He just means the
colorful way you push the truth around

part of your character.

Yeah, Molly McGee should have such a
fibber.

I think you're all just horrid.

I could tell the absolute truth like
everybody else if I wanted to be dull.

Present company not accepted.

Honey, you couldn't tell the absolute
truth if your whole life depended on it.

Would you like to risk a little money on
that proposition?

I most certainly would.

I'll tell you what.

You can't tell the truth for... For how
long? One week? I'll make it easy on

you. One day.

24 hours.

Okay. How much do you want to bet? Make
it easy on yourself. Any part of $100?

I'll take it all.

Can I have a piece of that?

I'd like a little of that, too.

My friend.

Oh, it hasn't anything to do with
friendship.

It's just that there are so few sure
ways of making a buck these days.

I'll tell you what. I'll take 50 and
I'll give you each 25.

Thank you.

When do you want to start?

It's one minute to eight. I'll start on
the hour.

Okay. You've got yourself a bet. Okay.

Did I ever tell you the time that Cary
Grant asked me to marry him?

Hasn't started yet.

I just thought I'd have one last fib for
the road.

Okay, it's started. For the next 24
hours. Okay.

wait to hear you tomorrow afternoon,
Lucy.

Why? We're playing bridge at Carolyn's,
remember?

Oh, no, no, no.

I can't spend the afternoon with three
women and have to tell the truth.

I'll call Carolyn and tell her I'm sick.

Changed the whole mood of the room.

My, I'll say.

We threw out everything we had that was
early American and started fresh with

Chinese modern.

Here, let me take your coats. I'll put
them in the bedroom.

For heaven's sake.

Gee, yes, that's pretty. Pretty is
nothing, huh?

Thank you.

This is really something, isn't it?

And I thought it was awful before.

It looks like... I don't know what.

I do. It looks like a bad dream you'd
have after eating too much Chinese food.

Well,

how do you like my new furniture?

Oh, we were just talking about it.

Weren't we, Lucy?

What do you think? You like it? Oh, I
think it's just lovely.

What do you think, Lucy?

what you said to me.

Oh, she doesn't want my little old
opinion.

Oh, but I do, Lucy. Come on now, tell me
exactly what you told Ethel about my

furniture.

Well, uh, I said it looked like a dream,
didn't I, Ethel? Isn't that what I

said? Yes.

Oh, that's all right.

What kind of a dream, Lucy?

and strong.

When you're having four for bridge, it's
always polite to wait until a fourth

person arrives before you start playing.
It's the only decent thing to do. Oh.

Now, let's see. What were we talking
about? Oh, yes. Carolyn's furniture.

Uh, what kind of a dream, Lucy?

Carolyn, I told Ethel that your
furniture looked like a bad dream you'd

after eating too much Chinese food.

Well, is that what you really think?

Yes.

Well, Lucy, I hope it gives you a lot of
pleasure to insult me.

No, it doesn't. I don't like it any
better than you do.

Well, nobody's twisting your arm.

Oh, no?

Before you get too mad, Carolyn, I think
you ought to know something.

Last night, Ricky and Fred and I bet
Lucy $100 that she couldn't tell the

absolute truth for 24 hours.

Oh. So, you see, it wasn't my fault. I
was tricked into it by old Sneaky here.

Well, that explains... but it doesn't
make me feel any better.

it off. Let's play bridge.

Lucy, what do you think of Marion's new
hat?

Oh, that's a hat, all right.

Yeah, but what do you think about it?

Well, Marion, if that's the kind of hat
you wanted, you sure got a good one.

Oh, seriously, Lucy.

Well, Marion, nothing personal, but I
think that's the silliest looking hat

ever seen.

and you ought to know.

Last night, we bet Lucy $100 that she
couldn't tell the truth for 24 hours.

Oh, no!

Then that's what she really thinks of my
head.

Come on, let's play bridge. That is, if
anyone still wants to play with me.

Marion, bring your things over here.

What color would your hair be if you
didn't dye it?

33,

129, and mouthy brown.

Anything else you'd like to ask me?

What? Go ahead, ask me anything you
like. I like it. It feels wonderful to

the truth.

Now she's trying to use psychology on
it. No, I mean it. I feel very relieved.

It is wonderful to tell the truth. You
should try it sometime. We'd all be much

better friends.

I feel great. Come on, let's play
bridge.

I'm your partner this week, aren't I,
Carolyn? And Carolyn, let someone else

keep score this week. You cheat.

Yes, cheat.

The last three times we played, you
added up the score in your favor.

I would have said something about it if
I hadn't been your partner.

so much you don't know what cards have
been played.

Well.

Oh, I'm sorry, Ethel, but it's so true.

Marion, stop cackling. I've been waiting
ten years for you to lay that egg.

For heaven's sake, Carolyn, when are you
going to get a new deck of cards? We've

been playing with the same dirty old
deck since I've known you.

Uncle Fred how I taught you how to wave
bye -bye this morning.

Show him. Bye -bye.

Bye -bye. Bye -bye, Ricky.

Bye -bye. Bye -bye. Looks more like he's
teaching us how to wave bye -bye.

Well,

he did it this morning.

Now, look here, old man.

You're going to have to learn how to
perform on cue if you're going to be my

son.

Hi. Oh, here's your mommy.

Oh, there's your mommy. Was he a good
boy? He was an angel.

Where is that?

She'll be right up. Did you feed him?

Yeah, I followed your instructions to
the letter.

Looks like you fed a whole nursery full
of babies.

Well, he was hungry. Come on, honey, we
go beddy -bye.

Bye. Bye -bye.

Bye -bye.

They never do what you want them to do
when you want them to do it. I know, and

I can't help it. Bye.

Hi. How was the bridge game?

Oh, yeah.

How did we do?

Is the bed all over?

Not at all.

Why? Not at all. She never told one lie
all afternoon.

I don't believe it.

What did she do, tape her mouth shut?

I wish she had. She not only told the
truth, but she got brutally frank and

us all exactly what she thought of us.

All of us have been good.

When you two hyenas get through
laughing, you can go dig up a hundred

between you.

Oh, don't be silly. She won't be able to
keep it up. Not Lucy.

That's so funny.

Ethel was telling us what happened when
you told the girls the truth this

afternoon. Oh, yeah. They all got a
little miffed, but I don't care.

I feel wonderful telling the truth.

Well, I don't feel so wonderful finding
out you hate to play bridge with me.

Well, I wouldn't if you'd stop gabbing
once in a while.

Oh, shut up, Fred. You're no rose.

I'll say he's not. Yeah.

Why don't you buy Ethel a new dress once
in a while?

Yeah, you tell him, Lucy.

Well, tightwad, she wouldn't have to go
around looking so tacky.

Tightwad?

Come on, let's get out of here. We don't
have to be insulted. No.

Wait a minute, Fred and Ethel. I don't
blame you for being a little happy, but

after all, we were the ones who forced
Lucy to tell the truth.

Well, that's right.

And besides, a few truthful criticisms
will do us all a lot of good. Oh, that's

easy for you to say. She hasn't said
anything about you yet. Yeah.

Okay.

Go ahead, Lucy. Tell me my faults.

Tell me what you really think of me.

I think you are the most handsome, the
most wonderful, the cleverest, and the

most talented man in the whole world.

Can you think of any other faults of
mine?

Yes, you're hammy, you're stubborn, and
you're a coward.

A coward?

How do you like it now?

She's really telling him. A tight one?

You said it, Tacky.

Now, let's wait a minute.

What is this business about being a
coward? I'm not afraid of anything.

Yeah, he proves it every time he steps
on the stage.

Never mind the wisecrack.

What is this coward routine?

You are afraid that if I got half a
chance at a career that I would be the

of the family.

Oh, I see.

You would, huh? I have more talent in my
little finger than most people have in

their whole body.

Well,

I'll tell you what.

I'm going to an audition tonight.

They're casting for one of the biggest
shows on television.

Why don't you come along?

Okay, what do I do?

Well, why don't you let them audition
your little finger? What does he do,

Thank you. I'll go get ready.

What's the matter with you, Ricky?

Yeah, you can't run out to an audition.

If she doesn't tell her lie by 8 o
'clock, we're out 100 bucks.

I know, I know. I just found a way to
win the bet and keep her quiet about

business at the same time.

You lost me.

Well, look.

I know the way that they conduct those
auditions.

And she won't get to first base unless
she can prove to them that she's got

experience. I don't get it.

I do.

If she lies about her experience to get
a job, we win the bet.

And if she doesn't lie about her
experience, she won't get the audition.

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute. Just
give this to me slowly. Now, look, if

she doesn't win the audition... I can't
understand why we come into the field...

Now,

let me see.

Who's next?

Mercedes Minch.

You've got a nice list of credits here.

Sings like a chicken.

Sings like a chicken.

Well, this won't be the first foul
singer I've heard today.

doing here? Who's with little Ricky? We
got Mrs. Trumbull to sit with him. We

couldn't miss this.

Lucille McGillicuddy.

Singer, dancer, comedian, monologist,
mistress of ceremonies, after -dinner

speaker, saxophonist, star, bit player
or extra.

That's quite some accomplishments.

Thank you.

I'm just going to sing and dance today.

Just a moment, please. There's nothing
down here under experience.

Where have you appeared before?

How's that?

I say, where have you appeared before?

Oh, uh... Well, uh, see, I just finished
at, um... Well, well, there's been so

many places, it's hard to single one
out.

Well, try.

Oh.

Uh... I just finished a long run at
Ricardo's.

Ricardo's? Yes, sir. I don't believe
I've ever heard of that place.

What sort of an establishment is it?

Oh, well, it's a three -ring circus.

Yes, it's quite a place. You should drop
by some night.

How long was your engagement there?

Eleven years.

Yes, well, I'm ready. I have my... Well,
just a minute, please. Where else have

you appeared?

in third dimension.

No, sir, I did not.

I said I was in 3D.

Well, what's 3D if it isn't third
dimension?

It's a number on our apartment.

Now, I'm very sorry, Miss McGillicuddy,
but we're only interested in

professionals here.

Now, it's almost 8 o 'clock. We have to
move on. We only have time for one more.

Now, let me see.

Professor Falcone.

Something

about a

woman you're trying to say?

Anybody here speak Italian?

No.

Well, I'm afraid that's all for this
session, then.

Grazie, caro.

Grazie.

No, tesoro, qua, ho detto.

Qua? Non parlare.

Parlare, parlare.

No,

no, no.

... ... ...

... ...

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back
next week at this same time.