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Honey, I think that tomorrow...
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I'm
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sorry, honey.
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00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:10,420
What's the matter with you? Are you
crazy or something? You want the baby to
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00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:11,420
keep us awake again tonight?
6
00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:16,060
I'm sorry, dear. I guess I wasn't
thinking. If I don't get some sleep
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00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:17,060
don't know what I'm going to do.
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Well, honey, we'll keep our fingers
crossed. Maybe we won't hear a peep out
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him tonight.
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Well, I hope not. And, honey, listen, if
he does wake up, I'd certainly
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00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,320
appreciate it if you'd get up and take
care of him.
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00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,760
Sure, honey, I will. Okay. Come on,
let's go to bed.
13
00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,820
What? Oh, Ricky.
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00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:37,880
I'm simply asking if the baby wake up
that you get up and take care of him.
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00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:43,220
Well, honey, I know it's a lot of hard
work taking care of the baby, but that's
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00:01:43,220 --> 00:01:44,220
what mothers are for.
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00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:46,850
Oh, and what are... father's for?
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00:01:47,530 --> 00:01:49,530
Well, the father is the breadwinner.
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00:01:50,090 --> 00:01:54,190
See, the father is supposed to get his
rest at night so he can get up fresh in
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the morning, go out into the world, and
make money for his family.
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00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:00,930
You wouldn't tell me the rules before
the game started.
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00:02:05,070 --> 00:02:07,890
The next time we have a baby, I get to
be the father.
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00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:11,550
Now, don't try to be funny.
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00:02:12,230 --> 00:02:13,870
I'm not trying to be funny.
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00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:26,800
Isn't there some kind of a compromise?
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00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:31,740
Look, I'll tell you what. Maybe the baby
won't cry at all. But if he does,
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00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:35,860
whoever hears him first will get up,
keep him quiet so the other one can
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00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:39,940
Now, is that fair? All right. You got a
deal. Okay. Come on, let's go to bed.
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laughter
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You out -snored me.
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00:05:24,170 --> 00:05:24,949
Ten o 'clock.
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00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,470
Oh, I gotta get your breakfast.
33
00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:28,230
Honey, wait, honey.
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00:05:29,150 --> 00:05:32,690
Honey, please, don't... Don't worry
about my breakfast. Come on, you gotta
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some rest.
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00:05:33,570 --> 00:05:34,570
All right.
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00:05:35,830 --> 00:05:38,230
Listen, tonight I'm gonna make sure you
go to bed real early.
38
00:06:56,710 --> 00:06:58,350
No use trying to play tonight.
39
00:06:58,970 --> 00:07:00,910
No. She's really bushed, isn't she?
40
00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:04,910
Yes, I guess taking care of the house
and the babies.
41
00:07:05,330 --> 00:07:06,770
A little bit too much for her.
42
00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:09,830
Well, taking care of a little baby is no
easy job.
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00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:13,510
You know what I was thinking, Ethel?
What?
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I ought to get Lucy a maid.
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00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:16,859
A maid?
46
00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:18,380
Oh, Ricky, that's wonderful.
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00:07:18,860 --> 00:07:21,700
Well, it's a big expense, but she can't
go on this way.
48
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,900
So you're thinking of getting Lucy a
maid, huh?
49
00:07:24,420 --> 00:07:27,320
Hey, that idea might be a good thing for
us, too.
50
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:30,240
Why, Fred, are you thinking of getting
me a maid?
51
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:32,980
Nope, I'm thinking of hiring you out to
the Ricardos.
52
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:39,760
Lucy, honey, wake up. Three no trump!
53
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,420
And, honey, you know what we just
decided?
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00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:49,260
I'm going to get you a maid.
55
00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:54,580
Isn't that wonderful, Lucy? A maid. I
must still be asleep. I thought you said
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00:07:54,580 --> 00:07:55,820
you were going to get me a maid.
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00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,560
I did,
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honey. You can't go on this way. You'll
need some help.
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00:08:18,730 --> 00:08:19,730
about ten.
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00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:21,570
What do you mean, the first maid?
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00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:25,650
Well, honey, you have to talk to three
or four of them before you can decide.
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00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:29,170
Oh, anybody the agency sends out ought
to be all right.
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00:08:29,470 --> 00:08:31,910
Now, now, wait a minute, honey. I don't
want you to get started wrong. I want
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00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:33,809
you to handle this like a real
businesswoman.
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00:08:34,909 --> 00:08:37,850
Well... Well, you got to ask her
questions. Find out something about her.
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00:08:38,409 --> 00:08:39,409
Oh, I don't know.
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00:08:40,030 --> 00:08:43,270
Honey, why don't you stay around and
interview her? Well, I can't, honey. I
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to go to rehearsal.
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00:08:44,310 --> 00:08:46,890
Well, I've never interviewed one before.
What do I ask?
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00:08:48,550 --> 00:08:54,850
Well, you got to ask her where she
worked before, why she left, if she's a
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00:08:54,850 --> 00:08:56,930
cook, if she knows how to serve.
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00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:03,790
She's got a catcher's mitt.
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00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:09,710
Well, couldn't I just hire her and hope
that everything works out all right?
74
00:09:10,270 --> 00:09:13,690
No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Now, the
most important thing on hiring anybody
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00:09:13,690 --> 00:09:16,950
is to establish the relationship right
from the start. Oh.
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00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:19,400
You got to be firm.
77
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,380
Let her know who's working for who.
78
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:23,440
Yeah, don't give her too much time off.
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00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,900
Make sure that she understands what her
hours are and what her duties are.
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00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,400
Be tough.
81
00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:07,250
Well, what are you going to say?
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00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:10,190
Well, I... Here, you be the maid.
83
00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:12,670
Now, first I want to get a look at you.
84
00:10:19,490 --> 00:10:20,490
Yeah.
85
00:10:22,370 --> 00:10:26,330
Now, I want you to understand just what
kind of a job this is. It's no cinch.
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00:10:26,410 --> 00:10:29,530
You cook and clean, do the laundry and
the ironing and help take care of the
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00:10:29,530 --> 00:10:33,210
baby. You have Thursdays off and Sunday
afternoons only.
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00:10:33,790 --> 00:10:36,510
I expect you here at 8 o 'clock in the
morning, and you mustn't leave until
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00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,130
after 8 .30 at night. Do you understand?
90
00:10:39,110 --> 00:10:43,370
Hey, that was good. You were real firm.
Well, it's the only way. You see, you
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00:10:43,370 --> 00:10:46,030
have to establish the relationship right
from the start.
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00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:49,610
There she is. Well, I'll see you later.
Now, be firm.
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00:10:50,090 --> 00:10:51,090
Yeah.
94
00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:05,549
Good morning.
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00:11:05,550 --> 00:11:07,010
I'm from the employment agency.
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00:11:07,290 --> 00:11:08,450
Are you Mrs. Ricardo?
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00:11:08,850 --> 00:11:09,850
Yes.
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00:11:18,290 --> 00:11:21,790
Uh, there are a few things that I think
that...
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00:11:21,790 --> 00:11:28,770
First, there are some things that I
think we should discuss. That's
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00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:32,890
right. Now, I must have Wednesday
afternoons off. And every weekend.
101
00:11:33,230 --> 00:11:36,750
I can't possibly... come before nine in
the morning and I must leave before
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00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:37,750
seven at night.
103
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,370
Oh. Of course, you have an automatic
dishwasher.
104
00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:42,990
No, we don't.
105
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:44,570
A dryer?
106
00:11:44,690 --> 00:11:45,690
No.
107
00:11:46,550 --> 00:11:50,330
Uh, but we have a... We have a garbage
disposal and a washing machine.
108
00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:53,830
Well... And a television set.
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00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:55,150
21 -inch screen.
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00:11:55,910 --> 00:11:59,070
I'll take the job. Oh, thank you. Thank
you.
111
00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:00,630
Thank you.
112
00:12:00,790 --> 00:12:02,410
May I help you off with your coat?
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00:12:02,810 --> 00:12:03,810
Yes.
114
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:12,180
Yes. Well, now I'll see what I've gotten
myself into. Oh, yes. Go right ahead.
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00:12:12,260 --> 00:12:13,400
Just now, wake up the baby.
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00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,200
Baby?
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00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:22,460
He's just a little one. He really isn't
very much trouble.
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00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,480
Who takes care of him?
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00:12:26,820 --> 00:12:27,820
I do.
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00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,260
Including his laundry?
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00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:35,060
Oh, yes. Yes, I do everything for him. I
take full charge of the baby, always.
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00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,400
Oh, well.
123
00:12:36,430 --> 00:12:38,370
That's all right. Yes. Where's the
kitchen?
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00:12:38,570 --> 00:12:39,570
In there.
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00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:41,730
Oh, I forgot. What is your name?
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00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:43,369
Mrs. Porter.
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00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:45,210
Oh. And what do I call you?
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00:12:45,810 --> 00:12:46,810
Mrs. Porter.
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00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:11,410
into a Mrs.
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00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:12,550
Mertz?
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00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:14,910
After which Mrs. Mertz?
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00:13:15,570 --> 00:13:17,010
Which Mrs. Mertz?
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00:13:18,170 --> 00:13:20,270
The one you owe two months' rent to.
134
00:13:23,030 --> 00:13:26,310
Hello, Ethel. Oh, this is Mrs. Mertz,
scullery girl.
135
00:13:26,530 --> 00:13:31,130
I'll ask the downstairs maid to ask the
upstairs maid if madame can talk to you.
136
00:13:31,290 --> 00:13:32,590
All right, all right.
137
00:13:33,330 --> 00:13:34,330
How you doing?
138
00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:38,630
Well, it isn't exactly the way I dreamed
about it.
139
00:13:41,230 --> 00:13:43,930
I'll come down later and tell you about
it. She's fixing my lunch now.
140
00:13:44,250 --> 00:13:46,010
Fixing your lunch? That doesn't sound
bad.
141
00:13:46,210 --> 00:13:50,390
Well, I think maybe it'll work out all
right. I'll be down later. Goodbye.
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00:13:51,450 --> 00:13:52,450
Lunch is ready.
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00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:53,690
Oh, all right.
144
00:14:01,630 --> 00:14:03,850
Well, you don't want me to bring it in
there, do you?
145
00:14:04,550 --> 00:14:09,210
Oh. Oh, no. Of course not. I'll eat in
the breakfast nook.
146
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:35,960
Don't you like peanut butter sandwiches?
147
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:37,219
Oh, yes.
148
00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:41,420
Yes, I like them very much, as a rule.
But I tell you what, I think I'd rather
149
00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:43,180
have some of that roast beef that's in
the refrigerator.
150
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,020
That snivelly little leftover?
151
00:14:46,980 --> 00:14:48,280
Well, there was half a roast.
152
00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:51,160
Oh, yeah, that was the one.
153
00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:54,480
Boy, I'd hardly made a good mouthful.
154
00:14:57,780 --> 00:15:01,420
Well, there's a head of lettuce. If I
could... If I didn't have the salad, I'd
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00:15:01,420 --> 00:15:02,420
have starved to death.
156
00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:13,430
up in the... All gone?
157
00:15:17,310 --> 00:15:18,310
Some milk?
158
00:15:19,110 --> 00:15:20,110
All gone?
159
00:15:20,770 --> 00:15:26,090
Well, I've got to eat too, you know. Oh,
I know, I know. Yes, of course. Surely.
160
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,480
You're dressed like this, Your Highness.
If you'll excuse me, I'll go put on a
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00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,419
formal gown.
162
00:16:35,420 --> 00:16:36,420
Oh, shut up.
163
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:39,120
What's the matter?
164
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:43,140
Oh, Ethel, let's face it. I'm not the
type to have a maid.
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00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:47,920
Some people are cut out for champagne
and caviar. I'm more the beer and
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00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:48,920
type.
167
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:53,300
What's the matter? What happened? Oh,
she walks all over me. She gets most of
168
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:56,680
the time off. I have to take care of the
baby. I have to do his laundry. And
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00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,040
she's eating me out of house and home.
170
00:16:58,260 --> 00:16:59,360
What am I going to do?
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00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:00,900
That's easy. Fire her.
172
00:17:03,850 --> 00:17:07,010
Well, you certainly can't keep her. You
just said you're not the type to have a
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00:17:07,010 --> 00:17:09,450
maid. Well, I'm not the type to fire one
either.
174
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,250
Lucy Ricardo, are you afraid of the
maid?
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00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:15,210
Afraid? Me?
176
00:17:15,849 --> 00:17:16,849
Yes.
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00:17:18,750 --> 00:17:21,650
Lucy, you go right up there and fire
her.
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00:17:23,890 --> 00:17:26,390
Come on now, who's the boss, you or her?
179
00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:29,030
I am. Who gives the orders?
180
00:17:29,610 --> 00:17:33,600
I do. Well, are you going to let
someone, a stranger... someone you pay
181
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:34,600
to, boss you around?
182
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:38,620
I should say not. Well, what are you
going to do about it? I'm going to go
183
00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:40,680
up there and tell her she's through
right now.
184
00:17:41,380 --> 00:17:44,280
I'll show her who's the boss. She's got
a lot of nerve.
185
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:47,560
Mrs. Porter?
186
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,880
Yes? May I see you for a moment?
187
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:54,980
Mrs. Porter, there's something I'd like
to say to you.
188
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,240
Well?
189
00:17:57,740 --> 00:18:00,220
Uh, could I have a glass of water,
please?
190
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:15,750
Thank you.
191
00:18:46,990 --> 00:18:48,190
Jersey from all that peanut butter.
192
00:19:39,210 --> 00:19:42,570
I'm just not cut out for it, Ricky. I
feel like I'm working for her. That's
193
00:19:42,570 --> 00:19:43,930
worse than doing all the work myself.
194
00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:48,650
Well, we only got her because we thought
it was going to be good for you. If you
195
00:19:48,650 --> 00:19:49,670
don't like her, we'll let her go.
196
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:51,270
We'll fire her, huh?
197
00:19:52,610 --> 00:19:55,910
Sure. Good. I'll go down and see Ethel,
and after you fire her, call me.
198
00:19:56,590 --> 00:19:59,770
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Wait
a minute, wait a minute.
199
00:20:00,290 --> 00:20:01,370
This is your project.
200
00:20:01,590 --> 00:20:05,430
You hire her, you fire her. Oh, I tried
to, and I couldn't.
201
00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:06,950
Well, why not?
202
00:20:07,230 --> 00:20:08,230
I got water.
203
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,010
Do it for me, won't you, Ricky?
204
00:20:13,370 --> 00:20:14,670
Honey, I haven't even met her.
205
00:20:14,910 --> 00:20:15,910
Well, that's perfect.
206
00:20:16,010 --> 00:20:18,950
I'll introduce you. I'll say, Mrs.
Porter, this is my husband. You say, how
207
00:20:18,950 --> 00:20:19,950
you do? You're fired.
208
00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:25,270
Now, don't be silly. I told you I want
you to run this house like a business.
209
00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:27,150
Well, if you're afraid.
210
00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:29,330
Me?
211
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:03,310
Besides, if we don't lower our voices,
nobody will have to tell us. You'll hear
212
00:21:03,310 --> 00:21:04,510
us. Hey.
213
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:05,930
Hey, that's it.
214
00:21:05,990 --> 00:21:08,630
What? Um, I, it's too bad...
215
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:51,840
You must have had some fight.
216
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:05,680
Hi. Hi.
217
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:09,240
What's the matter?
218
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:13,000
Oh, I can't stand it upstairs with that
maid, and I haven't got the nerve to
219
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:13,859
fire her.
220
00:22:13,860 --> 00:22:15,520
Well, somebody's got to fire her.
221
00:22:16,180 --> 00:22:17,180
Yeah.
222
00:22:27,210 --> 00:22:29,090
Guess there's not much chance that
she'll quit, huh?
223
00:22:29,550 --> 00:22:32,030
With an easy job like that, why should
she quit?
224
00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:33,250
Yeah.
225
00:22:34,870 --> 00:22:37,530
Hey, wait a minute. What if she didn't
have such an easy job?
226
00:22:38,010 --> 00:22:40,670
What if she had to work her head off
cleaning up all the time?
227
00:22:41,010 --> 00:22:42,010
Yeah.
228
00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:44,150
How can we make my apartment look like a
pig pen?
229
00:22:44,370 --> 00:22:46,690
Oh, that's easy. Let Fred stay there for
a while.
230
00:22:47,550 --> 00:22:50,390
Come on now. Help me. What can we do?
231
00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:51,970
Well, let's see.
232
00:22:52,230 --> 00:22:54,690
I can have Fred bring up a lot of junk
from the basement.
233
00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:57,100
Tell him to bring up everything that's
messy. Okay.
234
00:22:57,360 --> 00:23:00,600
Let's see. Then we have to wait until
Mrs. Porter goes marketing, and then
235
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,580
mess the place up. And if she gets it
all cleaned up, we'll say we get it that
236
00:23:03,580 --> 00:23:04,580
dirty every day.
237
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:05,720
That ought to do it.
238
00:23:39,180 --> 00:23:41,160
Peanut butter and mustard and molasses
and...
239
00:25:35,470 --> 00:25:36,550
is a Desilu production.
240
00:25:37,190 --> 00:25:41,390
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back
next week at this same time.
241
00:25:43,190 --> 00:25:45,530
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