All language subtitles for i_love_lucy_s02e22_no_children_allowed

She's been doing that all night. I guess
she's mad because the brickie's crying.

Oh, Mrs. Trumbull's such a sweet old
lady. I can't imagine her getting that

She must be hanging pictures.

On the floor?

Oh, now don't you pay any attention to
that old crank.

You just settle down.

We're sticking pins in him.

Fred, we just can't get him to be quiet.

Well, let me have him, Ethel.

What do you know about babies?

Let me have him.

Be careful. Now, put your hand under his
head. Now, be careful, Fred.

I know how to hold a baby.

Hi there, sunshine.

Oh, dear sunshine, you want to hear the
mockingbird?

Hear the mockingbird?

Hmm?

See?

Well,

anybody can make him stop crying for a
minute. Just wait till you put him down.

Yeah. Now, listen, little fella.

We're going to put you down, and you're
going to be a great, big, brave boy and

not make another sound.

And make your Uncle Fred proud of you.

Okie dokie.

Yeah, what a champ.

Nighty -night.

Beginner's luck's nothing.

It's my phenomenal memory.

Memory? Yeah, it's not generally known,
but I was a little bit of a baby boy

myself once.

You know, to look at him now, it's hard
to believe he was ever a little baby

anything.

Well, what's the difference? The main
thing is, Ricky's asleep.

Yeah.

Well, good night, honey. I'll see you
tomorrow.

Good night.

in the morning.

See?

I'm sorry I woke you up, old man.

Why would you got him awake in the early
morning? What are you going to do about

it?

Well, I apologize to him. What else do
you want me to do?

I want you to put him back to sleep.
That's what I want you to do.

Put him back to sleep? Honey, I had a
hard night.

I've been working.

What do you think I've been doing?

Well, honey, you're supposed to put him
to sleep and things like that. You're

his mother.

idea.

Hi. Oh, hi, Annie.

How's little Ricky this morning? Oh,
fine. He slept the rest of the night.

are you going all dressed up? I'm going
shopping.

I'm having a table of bricks tomorrow.

apartment, so let's have them together.

Okay. Let's have it up here, and we'll
have lunch first. All right. Both make

half the sandwiches, huh? Yep. Will you
bring your card table, your teapot, and

your cups? How many cups?

Eight. Eight cups. Okay, I'll bring
them. Who is that?

Oh, Mrs.

Trumbull. Mrs. Ricardo.

Well, Mrs. Mertz, I'm glad I found you
two together.

You are.

How are you, Mrs. Trumbull?

As well as could be expected after two
hours sleep.

Oh, I'm sorry about that, Mrs. Trumbull.
The baby was a little fussy. He won't

annoy you again.

Oh, I'm sure of that.

Perhaps you'll recall this piece of
paper, Mrs. Murch. Your lease?

Yes.

It is expressly understood that at no
time will children be allowed to live in

said building.

Little Ricky, he's a children.

Since it says... no children in plain
English, what excuse is there for Mrs.

Ricardo's baby?

Um... Uh... He can't read.

He can't read.

Did the Ricardos sign a lease like mine,
or didn't they?

Of course they did, but they didn't have
a baby till ten years later.

I'd expect them to do something
underhanded like that.

Let you be a little more understanding.

I understand only one thing.

Either the Ricardos leave or I do.

Mrs. Trumbull, I'd rather you didn't
force me to make that decision.

Oh, Ethel, wait a minute. You can't
afford to have another vacant apartment?

Don't worry, Lucy. We can rent that
apartment just like that.

And even if we couldn't, it wouldn't
matter.

Because my friendship with the Ricardos
means more to me than all the money on

earth.

not the only tenant who feels that way,
Mrs. Mertz.

I advise you to think it over.

Well, I advise you to think it over.

What?

Oh, Ethel, I can't let you do that.
You'll lose all your tenants. We'll just

have to move, that's all. No, you're
staying.

I won't let you out of your lease.

Oh, Ethel, you're just about the
swellest friend a person ever had.

Now, Lucy, Let's not talk about it. If
there's anything I can't stand, it's

somebody who does something nice for
somebody and then talks about it all the

time. All right. Just forget it, honey.
I'll see you later. Okay.

So long.

Bye.

And then the old prune said, either the
Ricardos leave or I do. And then Lucy

said, wait a minute, Ethel. You can't
afford to have another vacant apartment.

And then what do you guess I said?

What?

What?

I was there.

Oh.

We can rent that apartment just like
that. And even if we couldn't, it

matter because my friendship with the
Ricardos means more to me than all the

money on earth.

And if I'd have been there, I'd have
said the same thing.

Gee.

And then she said, I'm not the only
tenant who feels this way. I advise you

think it over. And I said, well, I
advise you to think it over. And then

flounced out of the apartment.

that you were just wonderful.

Oh, it wasn't anything.

Let's not talk about it anymore.

Well, Lucy and I will never forget it.
Will we, honey?

No, no, we never will. Well, come on,
Fred. We've got a big day tomorrow.

Bridge, you know. Bye. Bye, Lucy. Good
night. Good night, Fred.

Good night.

Gee, honey.

Wasn't Ethel wonderful?

Yeah, wonderful.

You don't sound very appreciative.

Oh, I am, I am. In fact, I'm up to here
with appreciation.

Huh? Well, it was nice of her, okay, but
all day long she's been reenacting her

scene. She told the mailman, the grocery
boy, the cop on the beat. This

afternoon she came down to the beauty
parlor while I was there and played a

matinee for the manicurist.

Well, maybe she got it out of her system
by now. I hope so.

Well, honey, it was nice.

Nice, yes, but Ethel acts as if she
discovered penicillin.

And then the old prune said, either the
Ricardos move or I do.

to have another vacant apartment and
then i said lucy don't worry we can rent

that apartment just like that and even
if we couldn't it wouldn't matter

my

here waiting to hear what happened
yesterday morning. You know that old

Pringle upstairs?

Well, she came down here this morning.
Oh, too bad, honey. You're not going to

be able to finish your story. The
rest...

Wait a minute, Ethel. You can't afford
to have another vacant apartment.

And then I said, Lucy, don't worry.

We can rent that apartment just like
that.

And even if we couldn't, it wouldn't
matter because my friendship with the

Ricardos means more to me than all the
money on earth.

Well!

I'm sorry, Ethel. I just couldn't stand
it any longer. Oh!

You don't care how many tenants I lose,
but you get all...

if I tell a couple of people about it. A
couple of people?

Ethel, that scene has had more
performances than South Pacific.

Well, that does it.

You better consult your program. There's
been a last -minute change in the

lineup.

Huh? What are you talking about?

Ethel and I had a fight.

What? Well, I just couldn't stand it any
longer.

Tallulah Mertz played her big scene
three times at the bridge game today.

Finally, I just started acting it out
with her.

Oh, Lucy, you didn't. Well, she makes me
so mad.

All right, honey, so she make you mad,
but you have to make a big fight out of

it and lose your best friend?

That's the most childish thing I've ever
heard.

Well? Well, she did us a tremendous
favor.

You don't know how a thing like that can
get on your nerves. I do, too.

And I also know what you're going to do
right now.

What? You're going to get on that phone,
call Essel, and apologize.

too much out of this thing. Too much?

Do you realize what happened to me up
there today?

We were having a perfectly nice bridge
luncheon, and I was telling the girl...

know. You told me. You told me.

That's the trouble with you. You keep
harping on things too much.

What? No, no, no. I won't say that Lucy
was right, but I'm getting tired of

hearing that story myself.

And I think the thing for you to do is
to go up there and apologize.

Apologize?

Why? Well, because it's your fault as
much as hers, and because you'll never

happy till you and Lucy make up, and
because I'm hungry.

Well, maybe if she apologizes to me
first, why, then maybe I'll apologize to

her. Well, that's better. Now, come on.

Don't push me.

Lucy, for the last time, are you going
to get on that phone and call Ethel? No.

All right, then you're going to go right
downstairs and apologize. Come on. No,

now, Mickey, stop.

Lucy.

I apologize.

Ethel.

So do I.

You really mean it?

Yes, I really do.

Oh, I'm sorry, Lucy.

Okay,

let's eat.

Yeah, come on.

Okay, let's say we all eat up here
together. Fine, let's eat up here.

What a

pair.

Yeah.

You know, they die without each other.

Yeah, you know something?

Lucy was right.

Ethel was harping on that story till
even I was sick.

Well, I guess Ethel has the habit of
staying on a subject until he gets

sickening.

What do you mean, sickening?

Well, you know what I mean, Fred. You
just said yourself that sometimes you

sick of her.

Well, I'm supposed to get sick of her.
She's my wife.

Well, you don't have to get upset about
it, Fred. I was just agreeing with you.

Well, agree with me without making
cracks about Ethel.

Well, I'm sorry, Fred.

You don't see me taking pot shots at
Lucy.

Although heaven knows I'm loaded with
ammunition.

And what do you mean by that?

I mean I'd rather be married to a
blabbermouth than an ingrate.

Ingrate? You don't even know what it
means.

It doesn't matter. I don't like the way
you look when you say that.

Now listen, you Cuban crumb.

Oh, I better get out of here before I
bust your nose.

together.

Look, now you say I'm sorry, Fred, and
you say I'm sorry, Ricky. I'll conduct.

One, two, three.

I'm sorry, Ricky.

There you are. You see?

It wasn't so hard. I'm glad that's over.

I didn't mean it when I called you a
Cuban crumb.

That's all right, Fred.

I didn't mean it when I called you a
Cuban crumb.

That's all right, Drew, but what does it
mean?

If I told you, we'd start fighting all
over again.

You know, for four grown -up people,
we've been acting pretty childish. Yeah,

we're bigger babies than little Ricky.

though you should be ashamed of yourself
running off and leaving this poor

little child alone.

Don't you worry, dear.

You'll always have me around to see that
nobody leaves you alone again.

Mrs. Trumbull was played by Elizabeth
Patterson. The club women were Vivi

Charlotte Lawrence, Margie List, Peggy
Ray, June Whitley, and Kay Wiley.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back
next week at this same time.

This is the CBS Television Network.