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1
00:00:36,699 --> 00:00:41,260
Hello? Oh, hi, Ethel. Oh, just
straightening up. You know I can't stand
2
00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:42,260
the house isn't neat.
3
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:46,220
A place for everything and everything in
its place. That's the way I like it.
4
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,520
Well, Ricky ought to be home any minute.
5
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,760
No, I had dinner. Ricky ate downtown at
the club.
6
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,780
Gee, I don't know what we're doing
tonight.
7
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,960
I'll call you back after Ricky gets
home.
8
00:00:57,540 --> 00:00:58,540
Okay, dear.
9
00:01:09,490 --> 00:01:11,650
Thank you.
10
00:03:32,430 --> 00:03:33,430
in the kitchen.
11
00:03:34,150 --> 00:03:37,510
What are you talking about, Cyclone?
Well, something hit this room.
12
00:03:38,430 --> 00:03:39,790
Where? I don't see anything wrong.
13
00:03:40,090 --> 00:03:44,470
Oh, you don't. Would you mind telling
me, please, what all these clothes are
14
00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:47,330
doing here in the living room? Oh,
that's where I took them off. Would you
15
00:03:47,330 --> 00:03:48,330
them away for me there?
16
00:03:48,490 --> 00:03:51,950
Look, honey, there's a new invention
you'll just love. It's a hole in the
17
00:03:52,030 --> 00:03:56,110
has a long pole in it, little metal
things hanging on it, and it's called a
18
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,110
closet.
19
00:03:58,130 --> 00:04:00,190
Well, what won't they think of next?
20
00:04:00,530 --> 00:04:04,170
Oh, honestly, Ricky, How can you men be
so sloppy and dirty?
21
00:04:04,430 --> 00:04:06,190
You're nothing but a bunch of mess cats.
22
00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:11,170
There's nothing sloppy and dirty about
this room. It just looks, uh, lived in.
23
00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:13,990
Well, that's a good answer if you happen
to be a pig.
24
00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:19,329
Honey, just drop this object, will you?
I'd be glad to drop it if there's any
25
00:04:19,329 --> 00:04:20,329
more room on the floor.
26
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,450
You can't expect me to live in a museum.
27
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:27,870
A man's home is his castle. And this is
my castle.
28
00:04:30,410 --> 00:04:35,150
By your majesty, I bow to Ricardo I,
king of the slobs.
29
00:04:38,590 --> 00:04:41,090
Thank you, my faithful subject.
30
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:46,350
Don't expect this slave to pick up after
you. If you want the house to look like
31
00:04:46,350 --> 00:04:48,570
this, okay, you can just sit and wallow
in it.
32
00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:51,750
Ay, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.
33
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:57,230
Well, here's a whole spread on Tommy
Dorsey at home. And you know something?
34
00:04:57,490 --> 00:05:02,270
What? He has his shoes on and a top.
Yeah, what magazine is that?
35
00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:04,390
Your musician's magazine, The Half Beat.
36
00:05:04,650 --> 00:05:05,650
It is?
37
00:05:05,970 --> 00:05:06,970
Let me see that.
38
00:05:08,430 --> 00:05:09,770
Well, how do you like that?
39
00:05:10,130 --> 00:05:12,870
My press agent told me that I was going
to get the next spread.
40
00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:17,170
It was going to be Ricky Ricardo at
home. What magazine was it going to be
41
00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:18,270
Better Homes and Garbage?
42
00:05:20,930 --> 00:05:22,710
No, Smarty, in that magazine.
43
00:05:23,210 --> 00:05:25,430
That's a very important magazine in the
music business.
44
00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:29,050
Wait till I hear from Kenny. Some press
agent is.
45
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,360
Hi, Ethel.
46
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,400
Hi, dear.
47
00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:41,040
No, I don't think we're doing anything.
Why don't you and Fred come on up?
48
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:45,120
Okay. Ethel and Fred are coming up,
honey. Put your shoes on and pick up
49
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,200
papers. What for?
50
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,960
Because company is coming.
51
00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:50,460
It isn't company. It's Fred and Ethel.
52
00:05:51,460 --> 00:05:53,140
Well, put your shoes on.
53
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:54,740
They know I have feet.
54
00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:00,620
Ricky, are you going to help me clean up
this place or aren't you? No, this is
55
00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:02,380
my home and I want to be comfortable in
it.
56
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:06,960
Honey, I didn't mean it that way.
57
00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:10,140
You know, I was under the impression
that half of everything in this house
58
00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:14,100
mine. All right, all right. You go ahead
and clean your half of everything and
59
00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:15,960
leave my half just the way it is.
60
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,420
All right, we'll divide the room in
half.
61
00:06:21,740 --> 00:06:25,700
I'll keep my half the way I want to. You
keep your half any way you please.
62
00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:26,759
Are you kidding?
63
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,220
No, I'm very serious.
64
00:06:29,380 --> 00:06:31,620
We'll make a line right about here.
65
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,400
Absolutamente loca.
66
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:39,420
Never mind that.
67
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:45,040
Now, honey, wait just a minute. What are
you... Just stay right over there.
68
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,560
That's your line. You can't come over
here without a passport.
69
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,540
Oh, for goodness sakes.
70
00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:52,260
That's on the line.
71
00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:53,900
I just want a cigarette.
72
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:55,900
Well, half of what's in this pack is
mine.
73
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,680
You mean that's the only cigarette we
have in the house?
74
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,000
Yep. You get Philip and I get Morris.
75
00:07:16,780 --> 00:07:18,600
What are these things doing over here on
my side?
76
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:32,020
Come in. Hi, Lucy. Hi, folks.
77
00:07:32,380 --> 00:07:33,380
Hi.
78
00:07:35,340 --> 00:07:36,340
What's this?
79
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,720
Before you settle down, whose side do
you want to sit on?
80
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:45,200
Huh? Over there in the neat side of the
house.
81
00:07:51,690 --> 00:07:55,210
so messy, so I divided the apartment in
two. This is my side, that's Ricky's
82
00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:57,570
side. I wondered what happened over
there.
83
00:07:58,070 --> 00:07:59,850
What's the matter with it? It looks okay
to me.
84
00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:01,790
Okay?
85
00:08:02,010 --> 00:08:03,250
Well, sure, there's nothing wrong.
86
00:08:03,630 --> 00:08:04,950
Just looks lived in.
87
00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:06,770
Attaboy, Fred.
88
00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:10,010
Would you like to join me in the
comfortable part of the house?
89
00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:13,010
Delighted. Oh, pull up some debris and
sit down, Fred.
90
00:08:14,270 --> 00:08:17,230
Don't touch anything on your way over
here. Everything over there...
91
00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:33,780
mind if I sit on this side?
92
00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:37,799
No, I think you might find it rather
pleasant over here. Until the wind
93
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,460
Why don't you take your shoes off, Fred?
94
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:43,760
What, can I do that?
95
00:08:43,919 --> 00:08:44,920
Oh, gee.
96
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:10,960
Would you like some fruit?
97
00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:12,020
Yeah, I'd love fruit.
98
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,900
the press agent. Tell him I'm plenty mad
at him. Hello, Kenny.
99
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,260
Ricky says to tell you he's plenty mad
at you.
100
00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:44,240
Why am I mad at you?
101
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:45,580
Why am I mad at you?
102
00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:50,560
Because you've been promising me a
spread in half -beat note magazine since
103
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:54,380
February. Explain that if you can.
Because you've been promising me a
104
00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:56,820
half -beat magazine since last February.
Explain that.
105
00:10:09,219 --> 00:10:10,780
Okay, well, so long, kid. Take it easy.
106
00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:12,260
Well, so long, kid. Take it easy.
107
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,040
If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe
it.
108
00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:22,600
Well, I saw it, and I still don't
believe it.
109
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:26,780
Come on, Fred, you want some cold beer?
Yeah, I'd love. I think I got some cold
110
00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:28,140
chicken in the icebox. Oh, come on.
111
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,000
Ah, ah, ah, ah, kitchen's on my side,
remember?
112
00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:34,560
You mean I can never go into the
kitchen?
113
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,840
And stand back a little, you're over the
line.
114
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,400
What am I supposed to do? Starve to
death?
115
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,120
Oh, I'll toss you a crust of bread now
and then.
116
00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:47,280
Hungry, Ethel? Are you kidding? Come on,
we'll have some beer and cold chicken.
117
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,640
And we'll toss the bottles and bones on
Ricky's side.
118
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:54,100
Oh, say, remind me. I want to show you
some bath salts that I got. They were on
119
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:55,300
sale. Oh, show them to me now.
120
00:10:55,540 --> 00:10:56,540
Okay.
121
00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:59,120
May I see your passport?
122
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:05,200
I just want to show off my new bath
salts. Well, I'm terribly sorry, but the
123
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,760
bathroom is on my side.
124
00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:12,020
go into the bathroom?
125
00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:15,960
That's right. No more taking a shower.
No more washing your face.
126
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,160
No more doing whatever it is you do to
your hair.
127
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,300
Well, no more food for you.
128
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,960
Okay. We'll see who holds out the
longest.
129
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:29,020
Come back in a couple of weeks, Ethel.
We'll still be here. A starving Cuban
130
00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:30,020
a dirty brunette.
131
00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:53,740
Whenever all mine trouble makes trouble
arise, this was a big straw hat.
132
00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:59,180
Over your eyes you'll never see the
circumstance making you... George, is
133
00:11:59,180 --> 00:11:59,879
new number?
134
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:00,719
Yes, Maggie.
135
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,380
Oh, glory be, I've got to see this. Now,
don't do it till I get seated.
136
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,280
Okay, you know you're my best critic.
137
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:09,920
Are you ready?
138
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:10,960
I am.
139
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,500
Whenever all...
140
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:18,460
trouble makes trouble you're right just
put that big straw hat over your eyes
141
00:12:18,460 --> 00:12:23,000
you'll never see the circumstance making
you brown if you'll just push your eyes
142
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:30,000
under the ground life can be a simple
thing a simple thing to laugh and sing
143
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:36,480
get yourself a heart of straw and put it
on don't take it off and when the
144
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:41,920
landlord tells you the rent's in arrears
a big straw hat Over your ears you'll
145
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:47,040
never hear The dialogue tragically grim
If you'll just push your ear Under the
146
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,040
brim
147
00:13:34,860 --> 00:13:36,040
A simple thing.
148
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,700
To laugh and sing.
149
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,780
Get yourself a heart of straw.
150
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:44,600
Put it on.
151
00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,680
Don't take it all.
152
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:56,920
I'm pretty.
153
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,580
Soon your troubles will come.
154
00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:08,119
in the sky.
155
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:11,140
Big throw, hat down.
156
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,640
Big throw, hat down.
157
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:15,080
Oh, you're right.
158
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:20,100
Well?
159
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:30,120
Oh, thank you, Maggie. Thank you very
much.
160
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:31,900
Oh, I'm sure the pleasure was all mine.
161
00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:34,580
Oh, thank you. All right.
162
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:49,420
How's this for fast action? I promised
you last night you were going to get the
163
00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:50,420
next magazine spread.
164
00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:53,840
Meet the photographer who's going to
shoot it, Jim White. Hello, Jim. Hello,
165
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,200
Ricky. I'd like to shoot those pictures
tonight.
166
00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:59,680
All right, I think tonight will be
wonderful. You should get very good
167
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:00,459
here tonight.
168
00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:03,500
Yeah, and I'll tell you something else
I'd like to do, Ricky. Some pictures of
169
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:04,419
your home life.
170
00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:05,339
Oh, sure.
171
00:15:05,340 --> 00:15:06,580
What kind of a place have you got?
172
00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:10,000
Well, I have a little apartment in a
reconverted brownstone.
173
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,780
Say, I'd better call the wife and tell
her you're coming.
174
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,200
Give her a little warning, eh?
175
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:19,340
Well, to tell you the truth, James, she
doesn't need any warning, you know.
176
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:22,040
She's the best little housekeeper you
ever saw.
177
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,220
Everything is always as neat as a pin.
178
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,300
Well, we gotta go.
179
00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:28,940
Jim will meet you here after rehearsal
and you can take him out to the house.
180
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,980
Okay, I'll see you then. Fine. Bye.
181
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,780
Oh, you don't say, Marge. Is that so?
182
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:43,480
Really?
183
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,870
Well, it's certain... Certainly good to
get the other side of the story for a
184
00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:50,010
change. Hey, do you know we've been
gabbing for 45 minutes?
185
00:15:50,630 --> 00:15:53,570
Yeah. Well, let's get together next week
and have a real talk.
186
00:15:54,630 --> 00:15:55,630
Okay, dear.
187
00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:56,790
Bye.
188
00:15:57,070 --> 00:16:00,230
Hi. Oh, hi, Ethel. Welcome to Tobacco
Road.
189
00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:03,610
How did Ricky get out of the house this
morning without crossing the line?
190
00:16:03,710 --> 00:16:07,290
Through the bedroom window? No, he used
the back door. We made a deal. I swapped
191
00:16:07,290 --> 00:16:09,110
him kitchen privileges for bathroom
rights.
192
00:16:11,810 --> 00:16:13,790
Lucy, how long can this go on?
193
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:16,760
Oh, it's over now. I'm going to clean up
the whole house this afternoon.
194
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,040
Well, thank goodness.
195
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,420
Oh, I forgot what I came up for. Ricky
just called me. Your line was busy.
196
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,880
What'd he want? He said to tell you he's
bringing a magazine photographer home
197
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,920
tonight to take some pictures, and he
wants you to clean up the house
198
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,960
all of it. Oh, he won't keep it clean
for me, but when it's important for him,
199
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:36,340
he wants the whole house cleaned up
perfectly, all of it. Let's face it,
200
00:16:36,340 --> 00:16:39,440
man. Serve him right if I left it just
the way it is. Yeah.
201
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:41,880
Hey, I'll do it.
202
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,980
Oh, Lucy, you wouldn't. Yes, I would.
What about that photographer?
203
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:49,280
Oh, that doesn't matter. It's just for
that silly musician's magazine. Nobody
204
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,280
ever reads it anyway.
205
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:52,600
And as soon as I make my point, I'll
tell him it's a gag.
206
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,940
And as long as it's a gag, I might as
well go whole hog.
207
00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:59,720
Ethel, will you help me? Sure. What do
you want me to do? Well, listen, when
208
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,720
Ricky comes home with that photographer,
we'll have the whole place...
209
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,060
Is this your apartment?
210
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:27,079
Well, it sure doesn't look anything like
this.
211
00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:33,580
Well, what do you know, Jim?
212
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:35,420
We're getting to the run -up on...
213
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:18,940
Is this your wife?
214
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,200
Why, sure.
215
00:18:25,580 --> 00:18:26,580
Yes, Jim.
216
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,240
This is my wife.
217
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:29,920
Lucy, meet Jim.
218
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,280
What's the matter? Look at the way this
place looks.
219
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:54,680
Yeah, it looks pretty good, don't it?
You should have seen it before I cleaned
220
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,680
it up.
221
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:00,800
It's a regular pig pen.
222
00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:03,500
Oh, it ain't a regular one, but it'll
do.
223
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,840
You know we don't keep pigs in here,
just chickens.
224
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:14,240
Jim, Jim, please, please, please, Jim.
Now, look, believe me, this place has
225
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,520
never looked like this before.
226
00:19:36,590 --> 00:19:39,230
Funny, do you realize that this man is a
very important photographer?
227
00:20:27,210 --> 00:20:30,830
washing machine, but I darn near passed
out coming through the ringer.
228
00:21:09,899 --> 00:21:11,760
She said she's going hunting.
229
00:21:12,060 --> 00:21:14,400
Hunting. Hunting in the bedroom. How do
you like that?
230
00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:16,560
That's the most ridiculous thing...
231
00:21:46,830 --> 00:21:49,490
Don't read your darn magazine but
musician fellers. Yeah!
232
00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:51,370
Lucy. Huh?
233
00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:54,430
This man is not from, from hot beat...
234
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,300
They showed the nightclub and the band
and the shots of you singing.
235
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,520
Honey, what are you crying about?
236
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:31,020
Jim White promised me he wouldn't use a
single picture of you in the article.
237
00:22:31,340 --> 00:22:33,260
No, I wasn't in the article.
19627
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