Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,150 --> 00:00:13,850
Previously on Headcase. Where you sell
the blendies?
2
00:00:15,610 --> 00:00:17,170
You're married? Yes. Yes.
3
00:00:17,670 --> 00:00:19,310
I didn't even give it a chance.
4
00:00:19,510 --> 00:00:22,230
Are you dating? Is there anybody in your
life? There's no one significant, but
5
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:23,870
I'm planning on dating.
6
00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:27,310
Well, you were hot in the day. In the
day. In the day. In the day. In the day.
7
00:00:27,450 --> 00:00:28,970
In the day. I'm the doctor, yeah.
8
00:00:29,550 --> 00:00:32,729
What do you have to say about this
blendie craze? Whatever makes people
9
00:00:32,729 --> 00:00:33,730
good. I don't know.
10
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:38,220
Fucker! You've been married seven times?
Yeah, well, you know, that's another
11
00:00:38,220 --> 00:00:41,320
story, though. Seven stories? What the
hell is going on here?
12
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:46,180
I want everybody in my office, including
you two idiots with the apron.
13
00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:49,860
We're Perduche. We're Perduche. We've
been making blendies. I invented the
14
00:00:49,860 --> 00:00:54,960
blendies. If anyone invented the
blendies, it's Ron, okay? You are
15
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,220
of Ron Julio's office.
16
00:00:56,460 --> 00:01:00,760
Funny man Kevin Nealon is gravely ill by
ingesting some mysterious fluid. The
17
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,760
contents of a blended drink may be to
blame.
18
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:09,880
Have anything here?
19
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:11,540
No, I don't give a shit.
20
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:16,220
You don't give a shit? I've got to make
a car paint. Kevin Nealon had a seizure
21
00:01:16,220 --> 00:01:17,820
because of our blended drink.
22
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:19,080
Who's Kevin Nealon?
23
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,660
He came in here last week.
24
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,000
Oh, my God.
25
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:23,240
Yes,
26
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:32,340
hi. I'm Mr. Kornfeld. I'm here
representing a client on a legal matter
27
00:01:32,340 --> 00:01:36,580
import. I'm here to see Myron Nicholson.
28
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,000
Steen. Steen.
29
00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:39,809
Christine, yes.
30
00:01:39,810 --> 00:01:41,910
What is this legal matter about?
31
00:01:42,130 --> 00:01:45,630
It's a confidential legal matter that
I've discussed with my client, and I'd
32
00:01:45,630 --> 00:01:47,970
like to discuss with Myron Finkelstein.
33
00:01:48,170 --> 00:01:49,170
Excuse me. Ron!
34
00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:50,390
Ron!
35
00:01:51,330 --> 00:01:53,170
Get the kid. I think you want to talk to
him.
36
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:21,020
What brings you to therapy today? Well,
my friend Jeff Goldblum, he recommended
37
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:27,380
that I come here because I'm finding
that it's really hard to fit in
38
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:32,420
There's almost nothing wrong with me.
And I've never been to therapy.
39
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:39,120
And most of my friends are addicts or
recovering addicts or alcoholics. Right.
40
00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:45,540
And I'm finding almost like a stigma
that there's absolutely nothing
41
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:51,700
wrong with me. I'm sure that's not true.
I see 10 things already.
42
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,660
About that misunderstanding, I apologize
for that.
43
00:02:56,750 --> 00:03:03,690
That's quite all right. My client has a
video message that I'm here to play.
44
00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:04,930
Mr. Lopez.
45
00:03:05,590 --> 00:03:07,490
Ron Julio. Okay.
46
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:08,970
Ms.
47
00:03:10,030 --> 00:03:14,190
Bancroft. Buckingham. Ms. Buckingham,
please act as witnesses.
48
00:03:14,610 --> 00:03:15,610
Mr. Finkelstein.
49
00:03:16,190 --> 00:03:18,010
Finkelstein. Yes, yes.
50
00:03:18,230 --> 00:03:20,270
This message is directed for you.
51
00:03:21,990 --> 00:03:23,170
Hello, friends.
52
00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:29,730
If you're watching this right now, I'm
already gone. I done fucked up. I done
53
00:03:29,730 --> 00:03:31,030
died, Lord have mercy.
54
00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:38,150
You know, I was thinking I tried to hang
on. God damn it. I done fucked up and
55
00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:39,150
died.
56
00:03:39,210 --> 00:03:40,630
What's going on here?
57
00:03:41,230 --> 00:03:44,710
What do you mean? Well, I'm watching
your body language.
58
00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:47,950
And you seem to be... Comfortable?
59
00:03:48,190 --> 00:03:49,190
No.
60
00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:53,270
What are you afraid of? What are you
trying to hide?
61
00:03:53,490 --> 00:03:55,370
I don't know. I'm actually having a lot
of fun.
62
00:03:55,790 --> 00:03:56,790
No, you're not.
63
00:03:56,890 --> 00:03:58,510
You're not. You're not happy.
64
00:03:59,570 --> 00:04:00,690
I feel great.
65
00:04:01,070 --> 00:04:06,290
See, I think your laughter is masking
tears. I think you're sad and upset and
66
00:04:06,290 --> 00:04:10,230
scared. You know, those sort of drama
masks with the frown and the smile? I
67
00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:11,430
think you're always the frown.
68
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,850
Yeah. I feel pretty good.
69
00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:15,130
Mm -mm.
70
00:04:15,310 --> 00:04:18,110
No, I've done some things. I've made
some moves and shit.
71
00:04:18,329 --> 00:04:21,810
You know, I acquired a few things,
having said that.
72
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:31,080
Twinkle Jemima Finkelstein. Being a
sound mind and rockin' ass body, and y
73
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:38,080
know it, do hereby bequeath all my
worldly possessions to the
74
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:44,980
one son of a bitch who made me happy in
this world. To the
75
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:45,980
one...
76
00:04:58,060 --> 00:05:00,580
Have you ever lived with anybody? Have
you ever had a significant relationship?
77
00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:06,460
I have. And, you know, and it was really
successful. Well, it's obviously not
78
00:05:06,460 --> 00:05:09,360
successful because you're not with them
now. So that's called a failed
79
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:14,440
relationship. No, I was successful of
its time. If I don't consider it to be.
80
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,180
can't be successful because it didn't
work.
81
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,200
Daddy, this is all for you, Daddy.
82
00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:36,580
Cornfield, handle this shit, man.
83
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:45,480
So there you have it.
84
00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:59,250
You're alone, not having sex and not
drinking. What do you do? What is your
85
00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:05,470
life? Oh, gosh. I speak to my parents
every day, and I have a dog, and I
86
00:06:05,470 --> 00:06:07,410
do a lot of work with the homeless.
87
00:06:08,050 --> 00:06:09,050
Oh, God.
88
00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:11,030
Well, it's great. It's really important.
89
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:12,370
Is that for press?
90
00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:16,850
Has InStyle covered it? No, no. It's
really important. We've got a huge
91
00:06:16,850 --> 00:06:19,190
here of the homeless in Los Angeles.
92
00:06:19,570 --> 00:06:23,370
Really? Yeah. I mean, if you ever want
to come down, it's really... No.
93
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:27,930
No. Oh, no, you'd like it. No, no, no, I
just, I do that kind of stuff by tech.
94
00:06:28,590 --> 00:06:29,590
So what's he leaving?
95
00:06:29,910 --> 00:06:31,790
A piece of property.
96
00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:33,290
Really?
97
00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:35,310
Where? Manhattan.
98
00:06:35,650 --> 00:06:36,650
No kidding.
99
00:06:36,770 --> 00:06:37,770
Is there an address?
100
00:06:38,270 --> 00:06:39,270
There is.
101
00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:45,270
And if you sign... Yeah. You can check
that out for yourself.
102
00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:50,050
Okay.
103
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:51,710
Very well.
104
00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:54,470
I certainly hope you enjoy it.
105
00:06:55,170 --> 00:06:59,850
There was one other item that I was
supposed to personally convey to you.
106
00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:00,709
it is.
107
00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:01,549
Enjoy it.
108
00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:02,550
Are you okay?
109
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:06,690
I don't like this type of thing. It's
tough stuff. I understand that. Yeah.
110
00:07:07,230 --> 00:07:12,810
So if you ever want to talk, or I could
prescribe something for you. In terms of
111
00:07:12,810 --> 00:07:16,110
my exes, we have cordial relationships.
112
00:07:16,650 --> 00:07:17,650
You...
113
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:21,330
still talk to your exes well of course
just because it didn't work out well if
114
00:07:21,330 --> 00:07:25,370
it didn't work out then it didn't work
out but there's no reason to harbor bad
115
00:07:25,370 --> 00:07:31,810
feelings i guess i just want my ex to
die gosh that's no you don't want that
116
00:07:31,810 --> 00:07:37,930
yeah i do if you shared something
together it would just be crazy oh my
117
00:07:37,930 --> 00:07:43,230
can't do this every week i can't do it
what with the guy no i don't want to
118
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:47,200
treat you anymore what i don't like it I
don't like it. I don't like how you
119
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,680
make me feel. Go skip through the poppy
field.
120
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,300
But we're not done. I cannot do this
anymore.
121
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:53,800
Wow. Yeah.
122
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,260
I want you to go.
123
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,640
Are you kidding me? Yeah, no, I want you
to leave therapy.
124
00:08:09,860 --> 00:08:13,180
I want you to go. I don't have to know
you.
125
00:08:14,630 --> 00:08:16,150
I don't want to treat you.
126
00:08:16,450 --> 00:08:17,450
Go, go, go.
127
00:08:17,570 --> 00:08:19,850
Because now I want you to die. What?
128
00:08:20,270 --> 00:08:22,510
You don't want me to die. That's crazy.
Yes, I do.
129
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:23,289
You do.
130
00:08:23,290 --> 00:08:26,270
Go away from me. Go away from me. Man.
131
00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:28,070
Go. I can't.
132
00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:32,110
Oh, my God.
133
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:33,909
I get it. I get it.
134
00:08:34,789 --> 00:08:35,789
You're testing me.
135
00:08:36,010 --> 00:08:36,949
Oh, my God.
136
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:40,970
Yeah, Jeff said you were good, and this
is what it is, right? You are testing
137
00:08:40,970 --> 00:08:42,010
me. I can't. I need air.
138
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:43,289
I can't.
139
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:47,830
I can't. What is the matter? Nothing. I
want to go home. Oh, man.
140
00:08:48,990 --> 00:08:50,310
This is embarrassing.
141
00:08:57,350 --> 00:09:00,390
I know I run out on you, but what the
hell, we had some laughs.
142
00:09:01,530 --> 00:09:08,450
And when you were talking about me, I
just, I got moved very emotionally. And
143
00:09:08,450 --> 00:09:09,950
one could talk about it.
144
00:09:10,490 --> 00:09:13,950
Sex the way you could and I want to say
that it wasn't just me man. You had a
145
00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:20,910
magic tongue that would not quit Wow,
you seem together. I am I really really
146
00:09:20,910 --> 00:09:24,070
you know I think I've had a full circle
you know since the last time I saw you
147
00:09:24,070 --> 00:09:27,350
and I'm happy and my husband's great and
we're in love. Oh you're still married?
148
00:09:28,170 --> 00:09:29,590
Yeah, I'm still married.
149
00:09:29,910 --> 00:09:35,470
I found a good one. I found a real good
one No one had a time. I mean you know
150
00:09:35,470 --> 00:09:36,470
it wasn't like I was
151
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,420
I was with a few other ladies, and you,
there's no one that had a tongue like
152
00:09:40,420 --> 00:09:42,860
you. Those circular things you used to
do.
153
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:48,140
When you sung to me, when you were
licking and singing at the same time,
154
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:49,600
unbelievable.
155
00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:52,420
I can still see you doing it. I can feel
it.
156
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,280
I can't remember the song, though.
157
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,020
You still got the place in Montecito
with the Persian horses?
158
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:05,080
Yeah, big place. We love it. You know,
it's just...
159
00:10:05,420 --> 00:10:08,780
Things couldn't be better. Well, it's
fun to have a lot of home. Yeah.
160
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:10,440
Are you okay?
161
00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:11,540
I'm good.
162
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,760
I'm sensing you're not. Oh, I'm really
good.
163
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,540
I'm having a few trust issues with men.
164
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:17,760
Why? What's going on?
165
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:20,880
Well, I'm just separated, so, you know,
and I... Oh.
166
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:25,800
You know, I feel not connected to my
body. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?
167
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,400
starting to pull my hair out a little
bit.
168
00:10:27,820 --> 00:10:29,020
Oh, what does your gay say?
169
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:31,020
What's a gay?
170
00:10:31,780 --> 00:10:32,780
You don't have a gay?
171
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:34,240
I don't have a gay.
172
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,120
I'll be seeing you.
173
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:47,960
I got to take a leak.
174
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:49,900
I'm not going to do it here.
175
00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:53,860
That would be sacrilegious. Not that I'm
religious, but I'm not taking a leak in
176
00:10:53,860 --> 00:10:54,960
the cemetery. That's bad luck.
177
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,740
We need to find you a gay. Well, can I
borrow your gay? No, you can't borrow
178
00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:00,500
each other's gays, honey. It doesn't
work like that.
179
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,520
Well, no, no, no, no. We're going to
need to find you a gay. I mean, this is
180
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:06,800
thing. You go shopping, you do spa days,
you travel, you get to do everything
181
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,660
with them. Except you don't have to fuck
them.
182
00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:10,660
Lola!
183
00:11:12,180 --> 00:11:13,640
Get me a gay.
184
00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:16,620
Get you a gay.
185
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:25,620
Doctor will be in shortly. When she
comes in, no extraneous questions.
186
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:29,400
I'd say just speak when spoken to. You
know the score.
187
00:11:41,089 --> 00:11:42,370
And... That's it? Just the two?
188
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:45,210
I narrowed it down. We had a lot of
resumes, but yeah. Okay.
189
00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:46,409
Let's begin.
190
00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:47,470
Who have you gayed for?
191
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,420
Well, Nicole Ritchie, pre -DUI.
192
00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:52,720
Uh -huh. Tell me about your gay -to -me.
Well, I've gayed for some of the
193
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:53,720
hottest names in the business.
194
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,120
Gary Busey. Mm -hmm. Nathan Fairchild.
195
00:11:56,460 --> 00:11:59,080
Mm -hmm. Do you have hippie fits in
public?
196
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:00,360
Excuse me.
197
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:01,800
Hi, I'm looking for Dr.
198
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:02,979
Good.
199
00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:03,980
This is Dr. Good.
200
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,720
Of course you're Dr. Good. We're in a
meeting here.
201
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,660
A meeting? Mm -hmm. That's a big boy's
word.
202
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:13,540
Hi, I'm Stephen Harrington, and I'm here
for the position.
203
00:12:14,140 --> 00:12:17,060
And if you're in a meeting, I will just
wait for you in your...
204
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,770
tasteful lobby, which, by the way, I
have some ideas for.
205
00:12:20,150 --> 00:12:23,230
And when you're done with gay care here,
we can talk.
206
00:12:24,390 --> 00:12:25,390
How rude.
207
00:12:25,850 --> 00:12:26,910
I think we're done here.
208
00:12:28,450 --> 00:12:30,170
So you'll call it... Gay, wait!
209
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:37,470
Thanks awfully. Pop your cups in the
sink, okay? Thank you.
210
00:12:38,310 --> 00:12:39,310
Sorry.
211
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:56,760
You created these?
212
00:12:57,140 --> 00:12:59,440
Mm -hmm. Mini teenies. Oh, my God.
213
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:04,100
Adorable. Perfect for the afternoon.
Thank you. Oh, thank you. I kind of like
214
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:06,320
keep some of my secrets to myself and to
my close friends.
215
00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:07,840
Oh, thank you, Carrie Bradshaw.
216
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:11,100
Cheers. Cheers, absolutely, ladies.
217
00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:15,440
You know, I think the beauty of this
kind of relationship is that there's no
218
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:16,440
conflict of interests.
219
00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,640
Think about it. We're not competing for
the same guys.
220
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:22,600
We're not interested in each other. So
it's a pretty clean slate when you think
221
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:23,179
about it.
222
00:13:23,180 --> 00:13:24,180
Exactly.
223
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:33,960
So I can be completely honest with you,
right?
224
00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:38,560
Yeah. Well, first off, you have a very
professional gloss.
225
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,100
All right? You command respect.
226
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:41,419
All right?
227
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:44,280
You have got a real fun, funky style.
228
00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:45,580
All right? Yeah.
229
00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:48,940
You're not afraid of color. No. Your
smile lights up a room.
230
00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:52,240
All right? And you guys balance each
other because you're two sides of a
231
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:53,640
Yes. All right?
232
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:55,980
So that's the Valentine section.
233
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,100
You want the other side?
234
00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:01,580
Yeah. Okay. You know, we should talk
about this over dinner.
235
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,120
Actually. Whoa.
236
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,580
I have a date.
237
00:14:05,980 --> 00:14:09,860
Oh. I'm not going to get jealous this
time, but I would like a heads up next
238
00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:11,140
time. It's just a first date.
239
00:14:11,380 --> 00:14:12,620
Oh, okay. Very good.
240
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,160
And what are you going to be wearing?
241
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:17,580
I was just going to wipe and spray and
go. Oh, dear.
242
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,720
No, no, no, no. First off, the dress is
gone. I thought all the gays liked
243
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:22,720
animal print.
244
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,080
No, we're not old Jewish people in
Florida.
245
00:14:26,780 --> 00:14:28,080
Although 10 % of us are.
246
00:14:36,630 --> 00:14:39,210
When will you my friend the other shit?
247
00:14:44,390 --> 00:14:47,310
Tomorrow when you come back in for the
meeting, I will show you how I run this
248
00:14:47,310 --> 00:14:50,670
ship and then we'll you know We'll carry
on from there. Okay?
249
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:54,950
Yeah, we can do it over What
250
00:14:54,950 --> 00:15:01,770
do you like to eat I am very
251
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:02,770
open to a lot of things
252
00:15:05,690 --> 00:15:07,730
Where are you going, Myron? I have to
go.
253
00:15:08,730 --> 00:15:10,790
How generous of you. Thank you.
254
00:15:11,550 --> 00:15:14,010
Hey, Dr. Myron Finkelstein.
255
00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:17,710
This is Deep Harrington, who is Dr.
Good's new friend. Oh.
256
00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:18,929
He's a gay.
257
00:15:18,930 --> 00:15:20,230
Oh. Oh, that's nice.
258
00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:28,710
You going to help me out?
259
00:15:29,090 --> 00:15:30,410
I'm just someone speaking to you.
260
00:15:30,790 --> 00:15:32,510
Hey, you're the tard.
261
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:35,360
Wow.
262
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:37,960
I'm all good now. I'm better.
263
00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:39,340
There's water in the air.
264
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:40,339
You're kidding.
265
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,340
Yeah, it's all good.
266
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,140
What does that mean, gay friend?
267
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,820
You know, you're a gay. You bring a gay
perspective into the friendship, which
268
00:15:47,820 --> 00:15:51,140
perhaps the person doesn't have in their
family, you know. Oh.
269
00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:52,680
It's kind of like the Big Brothers
program.
270
00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:53,900
Oh, I see. I see.
271
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,000
Elizabeth. Family?
272
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,240
Yes.
273
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:04,020
Right on to...
274
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:10,310
Well, that must be the beauty alarm or
something.
275
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,350
I love your car.
276
00:16:13,710 --> 00:16:17,110
Oh, thanks. Me too. I think the bank's
going to own it, though, soon enough.
277
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,110
never know.
278
00:16:18,370 --> 00:16:19,370
Wow.
279
00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:20,910
Pleasure to meet you. Nice to meet you.
280
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:22,310
Oh, excuse me. One second, please.
281
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:23,750
Normally don't. Hello?
282
00:16:25,770 --> 00:16:28,690
Well, what the fuck are you calling me
for? You know, I told you I was on a
283
00:16:28,690 --> 00:16:29,690
date.
284
00:16:30,370 --> 00:16:32,450
What? I don't know if we're going to
fuck.
285
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:34,900
Is this employment for you?
286
00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:37,420
Well, actually, this has afforded me a
living.
287
00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:38,640
Have you done this before?
288
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:44,260
Oh, God, yeah. No kidding. Uma Thurman,
a house set in Bel Air for six months.
289
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:47,700
Beautiful place. Well, that's nice.
Right? Okay. So that's free rent.
290
00:16:47,980 --> 00:16:51,560
Sure. There you go. That's commerce.
There was an elderly lady in Palm
291
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,600
I was her gay for a while.
292
00:16:53,940 --> 00:16:55,600
Have any of these ladies tried to...
293
00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:58,600
convert you, for want of a better word?
To Judaism?
294
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,480
No. No, I don't know. I know what you're
talking about.
295
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,079
You want a drink?
296
00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:05,480
Yes, please. Thank you.
297
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,020
Scotch? Sure. That's okay.
298
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:08,599
Anything. Anything?
299
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:12,300
Don't be jealous.
300
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,400
Oh, man. All right. Tell you what. Hey,
listen, honey.
301
00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:20,460
I want you to pretend right now that I'm
there in front of you.
302
00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:24,500
I got my dick just banging right on your
eyes.
303
00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:26,310
Trying to fuck your mouth.
304
00:17:27,430 --> 00:17:29,610
Trying to fuck your mouth, but you want
to breathe.
305
00:17:30,230 --> 00:17:31,650
And I'm pinching your nose.
306
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:33,850
Give me your butthole. I don't want your
pussy.
307
00:17:34,110 --> 00:17:37,030
I can see why people would want to talk
on one of these things.
308
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:38,590
Sure, it's very relaxing. Yeah.
309
00:17:38,930 --> 00:17:40,070
How long have you been gay?
310
00:17:40,490 --> 00:17:44,210
Oh, probably since I was a zygote.
311
00:17:44,410 --> 00:17:47,110
Do you ever wear your mother's shoes or
anything like that? Constantly. Ah.
312
00:17:47,660 --> 00:17:51,180
Yeah. And they were cool about it. Yeah,
and I didn't think about that as
313
00:17:51,180 --> 00:17:54,860
actually even being a gay thing. Like my
man, he was cool about it. Oh, Freud.
314
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,940
Ziggy. He said it was a perversion, not
a neurosis, so it couldn't be cured by
315
00:17:58,940 --> 00:17:59,940
talking.
316
00:18:00,260 --> 00:18:04,180
You're one smart fucking gay, boy. I
tell you, man, you're smart. But what's
317
00:18:04,180 --> 00:18:06,900
difference? You're gay, you're not gay.
You're smart, you know?
318
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,540
I'm going to fuck your asshole, and you
know what? I'm going to jerk off inside
319
00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:11,540
your asshole.
320
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,440
I'm going to jerk my cock off. I'm going
to put both hands in your asshole with
321
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:16,860
my cock and jerk off.
322
00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:18,420
What do you think of that?
323
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:20,400
Happy birthday.
324
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:27,220
Sorry about that. She's needy. I'm
feeling a little under the weather, so
325
00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:30,560
tonight's not a good time. You don't
look under the weather. Well, no, I just
326
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:34,780
have sinusitis, you know, because of
the... Sinusitis?
327
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,600
It's an allergy.
328
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:40,100
I've got something for your sinusitis.
329
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:41,460
Wow, that's a lot of cocaine.
330
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,560
Listen... Are you a coke girl? No, no,
I'm 7 -Up.
331
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,700
You need to...
332
00:18:47,199 --> 00:18:51,360
present a little bit more of a
disciplined image.
333
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,900
She's got, you know, very glossy, nice
dresses. She's a woman, right? Okay.
334
00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:58,000
People open the door and look in here.
335
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:00,140
Let me be your gay for a minute.
336
00:19:00,380 --> 00:19:05,200
Go ahead. Be my gay. It looks like
Tutankhamen's tomb minus the treasures.
337
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,460
Here's the benefit of it. If you clean
this place up, it won't be just good for
338
00:19:09,460 --> 00:19:10,980
you. It'll be good for your patients.
339
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:15,140
Yeah, my patients. My patients are
fucking dead.
340
00:19:15,550 --> 00:19:17,270
Let's just call it a night. It was, it
was.
341
00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:19,710
Oh, I have to do that.
342
00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:25,610
Oh my
343
00:19:25,610 --> 00:19:33,130
God.
344
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:35,250
Yeah. We, we dated for like what? Six
months.
345
00:19:36,210 --> 00:19:37,690
Jen, I know I look different.
346
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:42,030
Wait a second. Are you not remembering
me right now? We did it for six.
347
00:19:42,650 --> 00:19:46,690
month there was a lot of do you remember
getting really drunk and shitting in my
348
00:19:46,690 --> 00:19:50,890
grandma's antique salad bowl do you
remember that this is the shitter okay
349
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:56,530
that's vaguely familiar yeah yeah you
are gonna have so much fun and
350
00:19:56,530 --> 00:20:03,500
then we can carpool i have to do that I
have to do
351
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:04,900
that. What are you doing?
352
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:07,340
Don't touch the fucking door.
353
00:20:07,580 --> 00:20:11,860
Hey, hey, hey. If you want to take a
Cleveland Steamer on your Porsche, she
354
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:14,580
shall do so. Cleveland Steamer? That's
fucking rude.
355
00:20:15,060 --> 00:20:17,100
Great taste in men. Hold your hair in
place.
356
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:22,320
He's a very attractive guy. Take care.
Middle -aged man with a faux hawk. And
357
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:23,159
drives a Porsche.
358
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:26,240
Must have a really big cock. I loved you
with the dead guy.
359
00:20:26,460 --> 00:20:27,460
Good luck, doctor.
360
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,080
Wait,
361
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:33,060
your seatbelt's on! Why is it every week
or two I'm meeting new guys who you
362
00:20:33,060 --> 00:20:34,720
used to fuck? There was the Gersh agent.
363
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,020
There was the dude from Creed. You're
going to bring up the Gersh agent? You'd
364
00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:39,380
be more cocked than a urinal at Yankee
Stadium. Listen, I never let him fuck me
365
00:20:39,380 --> 00:20:42,000
in the ass, so why don't you just relax,
all right? Wow. It's only been you.
366
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:46,600
Their gayness stops just short of any
wet exchange.
367
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:49,380
Dry gay, I like that. I like that.
368
00:20:49,780 --> 00:20:50,940
So, hey, girls.
369
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:52,660
Hey. Oh, I love this.
370
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,180
So, listen, I've been doing a lot of
soul searching.
371
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,460
Yeah. And I've just decided that...
372
00:20:58,990 --> 00:20:59,869
I'm just going to be alone.
373
00:20:59,870 --> 00:21:01,110
I don't need to be with men.
374
00:21:01,790 --> 00:21:06,890
No. No, I don't. One bad date. Get back
on the horse and quickly.
375
00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:10,790
All right, all right, all right. So keep
dating and then what? Eventually
376
00:21:10,790 --> 00:21:12,270
somebody will sprinkle fairy dust?
377
00:21:12,530 --> 00:21:13,530
Ding. Yes.
378
00:21:14,350 --> 00:21:17,330
You'll know when you're ready to love
again.
379
00:21:18,090 --> 00:21:23,910
Dr. Good, you'll know when you're ready
to love again. I could use some backup,
380
00:21:24,010 --> 00:21:25,490
girl. You'll know.
381
00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:57,940
You'll know.
382
00:21:59,220 --> 00:22:00,220
I'll get it.
383
00:22:49,140 --> 00:22:50,740
Are you going on a trip?
384
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:52,900
I'm going to look at my property.
385
00:22:53,420 --> 00:22:54,420
Oh, right, the one in Manhattan.
386
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,440
Yes, it is. Oh, New York, I'm so
jealous.
387
00:22:56,700 --> 00:22:59,660
Yeah. If you have any business issues
with the property, call me, because the
388
00:22:59,660 --> 00:23:01,100
gays are running New York now, not the
Jews.
389
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:02,800
Oh, all right, yeah, okay.
390
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:05,920
Okay.
31613
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.