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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:53,663 --> 00:01:56,541 Our solar system is composed of nine planets, 2 00:01:56,625 --> 00:01:59,920 31 moons, thousands of minor planets, 3 00:02:00,003 --> 00:02:03,548 scores of comets and millions of meteors. 4 00:02:03,632 --> 00:02:07,010 Each of these heavenly bodies moves in its orbit, 5 00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:11,139 quietly, majestically, without incident. 6 00:02:11,222 --> 00:02:13,224 This is the planet Earth. 7 00:02:13,308 --> 00:02:16,478 Its occupants also move in a daily orbit, 8 00:02:16,561 --> 00:02:20,523 but unlike nature, their course is not quite so regular, 9 00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:23,568 SO quiet, so majestic. 10 00:02:48,718 --> 00:02:50,470 Well! I'm so sorry. 11 00:02:50,553 --> 00:02:52,305 Please forgive me. Are you all right? 12 00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:54,182 You might watch where you're walking. 13 00:02:54,265 --> 00:02:56,226 Absolutely stupid of me. Please forgive me. 14 00:02:56,309 --> 00:03:00,230 Uh, send me a bill for... For the cleaning of the dress, huh? 15 00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:01,982 Uh, can I get you a cab? No. 16 00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:03,692 Are you sure you're all right? 17 00:03:03,775 --> 00:03:05,485 I will be just fine. Never mind. 18 00:03:05,568 --> 00:03:07,195 But... 19 00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,122 It's a good thing I wasn't bending over, 20 00:03:17,205 --> 00:03:19,040 fixing a run in my stocking, ain't it? 21 00:03:19,207 --> 00:03:22,252 Yeah, I'm sorry, Officer. My eyes were on that girl. 22 00:03:22,877 --> 00:03:25,213 Well, just screw 'em back in your head and keep moving. 23 00:03:26,965 --> 00:03:28,675 Yes, sir. 24 00:04:27,317 --> 00:04:28,902 Hey! 25 00:04:29,694 --> 00:04:31,321 That wasn't very nice. 26 00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:33,907 And how come you got such a slob for a roommate? 27 00:04:33,990 --> 00:04:36,868 Just look at this place. Yes. 28 00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:37,053 Clara? Joan Howell. 29 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,097 Any calls? 30 00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:42,183 Oh? Tomorrow night? Auditioning for what? 31 00:05:44,352 --> 00:05:46,104 Japanese governess? 32 00:05:46,187 --> 00:05:49,649 Oh, well. I've had sukiyaki once. 33 00:05:49,732 --> 00:05:52,026 Yeah. Okay. Bye-bye. 34 00:06:03,955 --> 00:06:05,395 Honorable master, 35 00:06:05,415 --> 00:06:09,669 please forgive unworthy governess for unhappy news. 36 00:06:10,211 --> 00:06:14,299 Honorable son refuse depart television... 37 00:06:14,382 --> 00:06:17,343 For honorable bath. 38 00:06:22,056 --> 00:06:24,726 Everybody's a critic. 39 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,194 Morning. 40 00:06:34,277 --> 00:06:35,320 Hello, Honey. 41 00:06:35,403 --> 00:06:38,072 Good morning, Mr. Milford. Mr. Granson has been looking for you. 42 00:06:38,156 --> 00:06:39,157 I'm thrilled. 43 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:40,430 And a Miss Stevens has been calling. 44 00:06:40,450 --> 00:06:43,077 Do me a favor and ring my apartment, will ya? 45 00:06:44,162 --> 00:06:47,498 Miss Stevens was wondering if you'd found a contact lens. 46 00:06:47,582 --> 00:06:49,459 In your bedroom. 47 00:06:49,584 --> 00:06:51,127 Well, don't look at me that way. 48 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:55,173 I mean, I can't help it if Miss Stevens happens to have long eyeballs. 49 00:06:55,256 --> 00:06:57,592 Hello. Mr. Milford here. I was... What's that? 50 00:06:57,675 --> 00:07:01,262 I say hello, Mr. Mifor-san. 51 00:07:01,346 --> 00:07:05,225 Uh, yeah. Listen. I forgot to take the dog for a walk this morning. 52 00:07:05,308 --> 00:07:08,144 Would you be so kind as to take him around the block for me? 53 00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:09,437 Uh, once should be enough. 54 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,190 My pleasure, Mr. Mifor-san. Goodbye. 55 00:07:14,275 --> 00:07:16,595 Thank you very much, Miss Honey. 56 00:07:17,987 --> 00:07:19,322 Morning, Harve. 57 00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:22,325 Boy, we sure missed you at the party last night. It was a beauty. 58 00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:24,474 Yeah. I didn't finish with my wife's lawyers till after midnight. 59 00:07:24,494 --> 00:07:26,829 You mean you and Leona still can't agree on a settlement? 60 00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:30,250 Oh, yeah. She wants to split everything down the middle, including my head. 61 00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:32,877 Well, she can't split what she can't find, can she? 62 00:07:32,961 --> 00:07:34,712 Now, I'm not proud of that maneuver. 63 00:07:34,796 --> 00:07:36,130 I'm an honest man, 64 00:07:36,214 --> 00:07:38,341 and here I am hiding my art collection with you, 65 00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:40,677 my boat's in my brother's dock in Florida, 66 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,804 my securities are in a bank in Geneva. 67 00:07:42,887 --> 00:07:45,139 I've got more locations than the A&P. 68 00:07:45,223 --> 00:07:47,684 Well, you're the guy that wanted to get married. 69 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:51,354 I told you, take up something like parachute jumping or alligator wrestling. 70 00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:52,563 All right, all right. 71 00:07:52,647 --> 00:07:54,671 Look, I'm due out in Los Angeles on that movie deal. 72 00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,464 You know, the one where we're gonna novelize their features. 73 00:07:56,484 --> 00:07:57,527 Mmm-hmm. 74 00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,153 I'd like you to go out there for me. 75 00:07:59,237 --> 00:08:00,738 Figure on about 10 days. Sure. 76 00:08:00,822 --> 00:08:02,907 Here's some correspondence and contracts. 77 00:08:03,908 --> 00:08:06,744 I'll talk to you about it in the morning before you take off. 78 00:08:06,828 --> 00:08:07,829 In the morning? 79 00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:08,955 Yeah, in the morning. 80 00:08:09,038 --> 00:08:10,748 What's the... What's the problem? 81 00:08:10,832 --> 00:08:13,356 Well, that's... That's rushing things a little bit, don't you think? 82 00:08:13,376 --> 00:08:15,211 Uh, I mean, uh, I gotta pack. 83 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,130 I gotta get the dog to the kennel. 84 00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,466 Besides, I was planning a wingding tonight. 85 00:08:20,550 --> 00:08:22,385 You wingdinged last night. 86 00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,345 Well, you see, this is the anniversary 87 00:08:24,429 --> 00:08:26,264 of the unveiling of the Statue of Liberty, 88 00:08:26,347 --> 00:08:28,182 78 years ago today. 89 00:08:28,266 --> 00:08:31,185 I, uh, can't let it pass without observing it. 90 00:08:31,269 --> 00:08:34,188 Mmm-hmm. You never let anything pass unobserved. 91 00:08:34,272 --> 00:08:37,775 Last week you celebrated Chinese New Year, and Ruby Foo you are not. 92 00:08:37,859 --> 00:08:39,819 Harve, all men are my brothers, 93 00:08:39,902 --> 00:08:43,406 and we are all part of that great fraternity known as mankind. 94 00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:46,868 And whatever rejoices my neighbor rejoices me. 95 00:08:46,951 --> 00:08:48,745 Oh, please. I just had my breakfast. 96 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,838 My place, 9:00 tonight? 97 00:08:58,921 --> 00:09:00,089 What's on the stove? 98 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,174 Statue of Liberty. 99 00:09:01,257 --> 00:09:02,383 Crazy. 100 00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:03,634 I knew you were patriotic. 101 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:13,478 Okay. I'm comin'. 102 00:09:23,321 --> 00:09:24,655 Good morning, Mr. Milford. 103 00:09:24,739 --> 00:09:25,907 Good morning, Scruggs. 104 00:09:25,990 --> 00:09:27,450 Hi there, Spike. 105 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:30,036 Listen. I've got to go... 106 00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,247 I say, I've got to go away for 10 days. 107 00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:35,166 So make sure that he gets no horsemeat, huh? 108 00:09:35,249 --> 00:09:37,794 We know Spike. Strictly beef and kibble. 109 00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,545 Have a good trip, sir. Thank you. 110 00:09:39,629 --> 00:09:41,172 Come on, Spike. 111 00:09:43,758 --> 00:09:45,259 Good boy. 112 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,100 Poor maid. 113 00:09:52,183 --> 00:09:55,603 What a terrible thing to do to a nice, old Japanese lady. 114 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,167 I heard you! I heard you! 115 00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,712 You know, we ought to invest in 116 00:10:21,796 --> 00:10:23,589 an alarm clock one of these days. 117 00:10:23,673 --> 00:10:26,050 Why blow three bucks when he gets up when we do? 118 00:10:26,134 --> 00:10:28,219 "Cause I think when a girl reaches maturity, 119 00:10:28,302 --> 00:10:31,222 she should surround herself with certain niceties, 120 00:10:31,305 --> 00:10:32,640 like her own alarm clock. 121 00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:36,060 Bring one more thing into this room, 122 00:10:36,144 --> 00:10:37,895 and we'll have to knock out a wall. 123 00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:44,193 Hark. The sound of the thrush awakes me. 124 00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:49,323 Mine eyes open to the splendor of my abode. 125 00:10:51,159 --> 00:10:53,870 Yuck. 126 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:27,028 If the wheels on these beds ever jam, 127 00:11:27,111 --> 00:11:29,197 we're trapped here for life. 128 00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:58,142 I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair 129 00:11:58,226 --> 00:12:00,144 A case of laryngitis. 130 00:12:00,228 --> 00:12:01,292 Is that too much to ask for? 131 00:12:01,312 --> 00:12:02,313 Borne like a vapor 132 00:12:02,396 --> 00:12:05,650 On the summer air 133 00:12:05,733 --> 00:12:11,948 I see her tripping where the bright streams play 134 00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:14,909 Turn it off a minute, will ya? 135 00:12:14,992 --> 00:12:17,828 Luther, I said turn it off! 136 00:12:17,912 --> 00:12:20,790 Okay, okay, okay! I heard ya. I heard ya. 137 00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:23,292 "I heard ya. I heard ya." Harvard man. 138 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,336 Magna cum loudmouth. 139 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:31,342 Okay, okay, okay! Take it away! 140 00:12:39,517 --> 00:12:41,644 Ah, what a glorious morning. 141 00:12:41,727 --> 00:12:44,689 The hyacinths will be plentiful this summer. 142 00:12:46,357 --> 00:12:47,900 Did you tell Flaccus the gardener 143 00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:50,361 to turn the soil and nourish those dear little roots? 144 00:12:50,444 --> 00:12:52,822 I'll tell him when he comes up for the garbage. 145 00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,366 And what are you having with your coffee, dear Duchess? 146 00:12:55,449 --> 00:12:58,327 Fruitcake, like I have every morning. 147 00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:01,706 Look. Can I get you down off the chandelier for a minute? 148 00:13:01,789 --> 00:13:03,249 Okay. What is it? 149 00:13:03,332 --> 00:13:06,085 How's about moving out of this trap? 150 00:13:07,169 --> 00:13:08,170 Where? 151 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:09,694 We'll take a day off and we'll look. 152 00:13:09,714 --> 00:13:12,758 I can't. I've got an extra apartment to clean. 153 00:13:12,842 --> 00:13:15,803 I got two extra apartments to clean, but this is more important. 154 00:13:15,886 --> 00:13:20,224 Really, doesn't this trap ever get you down? 155 00:13:20,308 --> 00:13:21,934 No, I don't really ever think about it. 156 00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:24,520 Nor do I think about having to work as a maid. 157 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,731 We're trying to stake our way into show business. 158 00:13:26,814 --> 00:13:29,358 So the only important thing right now is to save a buck. 159 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,235 But doesn't it bother you what guys 160 00:13:31,319 --> 00:13:32,903 must think when they take you home? 161 00:13:32,987 --> 00:13:36,949 I never met one that I was that interested in. 162 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,367 Talk to a wall. 163 00:13:42,163 --> 00:13:43,164 Yeah. 164 00:13:43,247 --> 00:13:45,041 It's me, Luther. 165 00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:53,341 I smelled the coffee through the walls. 166 00:13:53,424 --> 00:13:55,051 What walls? 167 00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:57,637 Sorry about the alarm clock. I never hear it. 168 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,097 All I hear are your shoes banging. 169 00:14:00,181 --> 00:14:02,224 Mind if I have a cup of coffee? 170 00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:03,851 Help yourself. 171 00:14:03,934 --> 00:14:05,394 Oh, before I forget, 172 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,189 cannot make the rehearsal tonight. 173 00:14:08,272 --> 00:14:10,149 Gotta talk to a guy about a job. 174 00:14:10,232 --> 00:14:12,234 Oh, congratulations. 175 00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:14,654 It's an offer for the summer. A barn. 176 00:14:14,737 --> 00:14:16,405 Plainfield, New Jersey. 177 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,369 Oh, that's great. Grab it. It's good experience. 178 00:14:18,407 --> 00:14:20,117 All the big stars are doing it. 179 00:14:20,201 --> 00:14:24,330 No, no. This guy is a farmer. He wants me to work in his barn. 180 00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:26,874 Ah, Prince Nicholas. 181 00:14:26,957 --> 00:14:29,543 I am glad that you're back from the Crimea. 182 00:14:33,881 --> 00:14:35,508 Where the heck is the Crimea? 183 00:14:36,801 --> 00:14:39,804 You pass it on the way to Plainfield, New Jersey. 184 00:15:08,082 --> 00:15:09,166 Oh! 185 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:14,046 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Gee, please forgive me. Are you all right? 186 00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,507 Well, you ought to watch where you put that thing, lady. 187 00:15:16,590 --> 00:15:19,593 I know. It's absolutely stupid of me, but, gee, I am sorry. 188 00:15:19,677 --> 00:15:21,804 A guy could break every single bone in his... 189 00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:24,348 Oh. Well, hello. Hello. 190 00:15:24,432 --> 00:15:26,267 You're the same girl that was here yesterday. 191 00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:28,018 Are you sure you're not hurt? 192 00:15:28,102 --> 00:15:30,229 Who, me? No, not a scratch. 193 00:15:30,312 --> 00:15:31,731 Not a scratch. 194 00:15:31,814 --> 00:15:34,108 Funny. Uh, two days in a row. 195 00:15:34,191 --> 00:15:36,026 Maybe we could get the Red Cross 196 00:15:36,110 --> 00:15:38,112 to declare this corner a disaster area. 197 00:15:39,447 --> 00:15:41,991 Uh, as long as we've bumped... 198 00:15:46,203 --> 00:15:50,499 Uh, that girl... She, uh, just took off. 199 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:54,211 What did you expect? Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation? 200 00:15:54,295 --> 00:15:55,838 Yeah. 201 00:16:27,828 --> 00:16:30,539 Good riddance to honorable drunk 202 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,249 and lady chaser. 203 00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:38,422 May the great bird of passage deliver honorable master to California 204 00:16:38,506 --> 00:16:40,841 with happy wind in tail. 205 00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:50,059 I was looking forward to that trip to California. 206 00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:52,144 Are you sure Dunhill beat us out? 207 00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,271 Well, Dunhill called me himself. Hmm. 208 00:16:54,355 --> 00:16:56,232 Had a good three-minute gloat. 209 00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:58,275 If I hadn't been so involved with Leona's divorce, 210 00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:01,237 I would have been out in LA a week ago and had the deal in my pocket. 211 00:17:02,112 --> 00:17:04,532 You know, Harve, I hate to see you so hacked up. 212 00:17:04,615 --> 00:17:06,450 I wish there was something I could do. 213 00:17:06,534 --> 00:17:08,911 Marry Leona. Get me off the alimony hook. 214 00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:11,080 That good a friend I'm not. 215 00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:13,707 I'll give you three of my Pirraux paintings in your apartment. 216 00:17:15,918 --> 00:17:17,002 How much are they worth? 217 00:17:17,086 --> 00:17:18,796 $25,000 apiece. 218 00:17:20,089 --> 00:17:21,966 I have to take Leona? Yeah. 219 00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:24,635 Forget it. 220 00:17:27,096 --> 00:17:28,597 Fair-weather friend. 221 00:17:30,599 --> 00:17:32,768 Oh, well. Another audition down the drain. 222 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,812 Hey, anybody want to share a cab to the village? 223 00:17:34,895 --> 00:17:36,126 No, thanks. I'm being picked up. 224 00:17:36,146 --> 00:17:37,253 I gotta wait for my boyfriend. 225 00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:38,753 Vickie and I are stopping for coffee. 226 00:17:38,816 --> 00:17:40,192 Okay. 227 00:17:41,026 --> 00:17:42,695 You know, um, 228 00:17:42,778 --> 00:17:45,114 I thought you had the best dialect tonight. 229 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:46,740 Sorry you didn't get the part. 230 00:17:46,824 --> 00:17:49,223 Oh, thank you, and I'm sorry you didn't get the part, Hatacki. 231 00:17:49,243 --> 00:17:51,412 I mean, after all, you are Japanese. 232 00:17:52,037 --> 00:17:53,539 Taxi! 233 00:17:53,622 --> 00:17:56,083 Um, if you have the best talent 234 00:17:56,166 --> 00:17:58,711 and I have the best face, well, 235 00:17:58,794 --> 00:18:00,921 what has she got? 236 00:18:01,005 --> 00:18:02,089 As soon as you walked on... 237 00:18:02,172 --> 00:18:03,173 You were sensational! 238 00:18:03,257 --> 00:18:05,259 Wasn't she just great? 239 00:18:05,342 --> 00:18:07,094 The part! 240 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,019 Washington Square. 241 00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:26,342 If you want to commit suicide, 242 00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:27,469 why don't you jump off a bridge? 243 00:18:27,489 --> 00:18:29,325 What's the matter with you, Mac? 244 00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:31,035 See this nut hit me? 245 00:18:31,118 --> 00:18:32,953 Don't be a wise guy. 246 00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:46,614 You know, I get the funniest feeling 247 00:18:46,634 --> 00:18:48,198 that somebody's trying to tell us something. 248 00:18:48,218 --> 00:18:51,013 Well, I hope we find out what it is before we kill each other. 249 00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:52,097 Hey, I got a thought. 250 00:18:52,181 --> 00:18:53,245 Why don't we duck into that bar 251 00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:55,017 and see if we can't decipher the message? 252 00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:56,477 All right. 253 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,520 Don't you know signals? I had my arm up. 254 00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:00,669 Here, fellas. This ought to straighten out the whole beef. 255 00:19:00,689 --> 00:19:02,066 If a cop don't show up. 256 00:19:15,079 --> 00:19:16,580 Here. 257 00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:20,584 What'll it be? 258 00:19:20,668 --> 00:19:24,672 Uh, ooh, something light. Uh, quinine water with just a drop of gin. 259 00:19:24,755 --> 00:19:27,091 Vodka martini for me, please. 260 00:19:27,174 --> 00:19:29,927 You know, we're gonna have to come up with some sort of a system, 261 00:19:30,010 --> 00:19:32,054 because now it's a matter of survival. 262 00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:35,474 Well, why don't we check itineraries each morning 263 00:19:35,557 --> 00:19:37,017 so that we can avoid each other? 264 00:19:37,101 --> 00:19:40,521 Well, I... I want to continue to meet you, but not head-on, you see. 265 00:19:40,604 --> 00:19:42,606 Well, I'll tell you. Let's divide the town in half. 266 00:19:42,690 --> 00:19:44,692 You take the north, and I'll take the south, 267 00:19:44,775 --> 00:19:46,652 and we can talk across the border. 268 00:19:46,735 --> 00:19:48,487 Well, before we get to strategy, 269 00:19:48,570 --> 00:19:50,698 I think a few vital statistics are in order. 270 00:19:50,781 --> 00:19:54,451 Now, you said your name was Joan, and I assume you're a model. 271 00:19:54,535 --> 00:19:56,453 Mmm-mmm. What makes you assume that? 272 00:19:56,537 --> 00:19:59,081 Well, that hatbox is a dead giveaway. 273 00:19:59,540 --> 00:20:01,625 Wrong. Actress? 274 00:20:01,709 --> 00:20:05,462 Well, I'm studying to be, but that's not what I do for a living. 275 00:20:05,546 --> 00:20:07,381 Well, what do you do for a living? 276 00:20:07,464 --> 00:20:11,176 Uh, that's my secret. 277 00:20:11,260 --> 00:20:12,261 Bet I can guess it. 278 00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:15,848 Well, there's really no trick to it if you try long enough. 279 00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:17,307 Ten questions. 280 00:20:17,391 --> 00:20:20,894 Okay, but, you know, even if you do guess it, I might not tell you. 281 00:20:22,104 --> 00:20:24,231 Bartender, let me have some swizzle sticks, please. 282 00:20:27,109 --> 00:20:30,779 Mmm. No, I'd like 10 of them. We're gonna play a game. 283 00:20:35,951 --> 00:20:37,161 Thank you. 284 00:20:37,244 --> 00:20:41,123 Uh, could I avail myself of your services”?? 285 00:20:41,206 --> 00:20:43,000 Mmm, yes. 286 00:20:43,083 --> 00:20:46,628 Uh-huh. Is there any special training required for what you do? 287 00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:49,131 Oh, very little. 288 00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:52,843 Well, uh, could what you do be done in a... In an office? 289 00:20:53,093 --> 00:20:54,470 Mmm-hmm. 290 00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:56,013 An apartment? Mostly. 291 00:20:58,348 --> 00:20:59,475 No. No. 292 00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:01,393 Are your clients exclusively male? 293 00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:03,187 Yes. I see. 294 00:21:03,270 --> 00:21:05,439 Uh, is a telephone essential in your work? 295 00:21:05,522 --> 00:21:08,609 Uh-huh. Very essential. 296 00:21:10,611 --> 00:21:13,906 Would what you do bring extra comfort and happiness to me? 297 00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,658 Well, I'd like to think it would. 298 00:21:18,035 --> 00:21:19,355 Are you in business for yourself? 299 00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:21,830 Oh, no. No, no. I'm with an organized group. 300 00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:24,583 Uh, you know, you only have two questions left. 301 00:21:24,666 --> 00:21:26,627 Well, is there any risk involved in what you do? 302 00:21:26,710 --> 00:21:28,879 Oh, my goodness, yes. Well, do you know that 303 00:21:28,962 --> 00:21:30,839 last week a girl fell off the fireplace? 304 00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:39,139 And you won't believe what happened to me not long ago. 305 00:21:39,223 --> 00:21:41,975 The sofa caught fire. Well, do you know that I just got a broom, 306 00:21:42,059 --> 00:21:45,938 beat it out, and I went on as though nothing had happened. 307 00:21:46,688 --> 00:21:48,107 Wow. 308 00:21:48,857 --> 00:21:50,984 Well, one last question. Um... Okay. 309 00:21:51,068 --> 00:21:52,820 Do your clients have to be present 310 00:21:52,903 --> 00:21:54,703 in order to avail themselves of your services? 311 00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:56,365 No. Whew. 312 00:21:56,448 --> 00:21:57,825 Well, that's a relief. 313 00:21:57,908 --> 00:21:59,201 Well, what do you mean by that? 314 00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:01,036 Nothing. Nothing at all. Forget it. 315 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:04,164 I'm sure whatever you do you do very, very well. 316 00:22:04,248 --> 00:22:06,438 Ooh, my goodness. It's getting late. I've gotta be going. 317 00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:07,981 Well, I'll have you home in no time. Check, please. 318 00:22:08,001 --> 00:22:09,503 Oh, oh. Please don't bother. 319 00:22:09,586 --> 00:22:11,296 You know, it's really quite a ways. 320 00:22:11,380 --> 00:22:12,673 Oh, it's no bother at all. 321 00:22:12,756 --> 00:22:15,467 By the way, I wish you a lot of luck on your acting career. 322 00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:16,782 You know, it's a very difficult business. 323 00:22:16,802 --> 00:22:18,178 Don't I know. 324 00:22:18,262 --> 00:22:21,807 The last job I had was in a patriotic pageant. It was six months ago. 325 00:22:21,890 --> 00:22:23,934 Well, I performed before 14,000 men 326 00:22:24,017 --> 00:22:25,811 at a convention in Atlantic City. 327 00:22:26,436 --> 00:22:28,438 I even got nine curtain calls. 328 00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:31,316 Wow. 329 00:22:31,775 --> 00:22:32,985 Wow. 330 00:22:35,445 --> 00:22:39,158 Hey, Charlie. You ever been to one of them conventions in Atlantic City? 331 00:22:39,241 --> 00:22:42,286 Nope. You know, I think we're missing something. 332 00:22:44,288 --> 00:22:46,540 Well, it's quite late, and, really, 333 00:22:46,623 --> 00:22:49,042 I feel guilty about taking you out of your way. 334 00:22:49,126 --> 00:22:51,044 Well, how do you know what my way is? 335 00:22:51,128 --> 00:22:52,651 We might live right next door to each other. 336 00:22:52,671 --> 00:22:55,549 After all, I have seen you up around 62nd Street. 337 00:22:56,341 --> 00:22:57,718 Say, taxi! 338 00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:12,983 Where to, folks? 339 00:23:13,066 --> 00:23:14,276 62nd Street. 340 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:15,861 What did I tell ya? 341 00:23:25,412 --> 00:23:27,873 So this cop kind of looks at me nasty-like, 342 00:23:27,956 --> 00:23:30,000 and he says, "It's a good thing I wasn't 343 00:23:30,083 --> 00:23:32,961 "pending down fixing a run in my stocking." 344 00:23:33,045 --> 00:23:34,087 Broke me up, I tell ya. 345 00:23:34,171 --> 00:23:35,255 Which house, lady? 346 00:23:35,339 --> 00:23:37,633 Oh. Uh, the one right over there by the fire hydrant. 347 00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:39,384 Okay. 348 00:23:50,729 --> 00:23:52,272 You live here? Yes. 349 00:23:52,356 --> 00:23:55,025 And I want to thank you for a very lovely evening. 350 00:23:55,108 --> 00:23:56,109 Good night. 351 00:23:56,193 --> 00:23:57,319 Don't go away. 352 00:24:00,322 --> 00:24:03,367 Uh... You don't have to take me to the door. Really. 353 00:24:03,450 --> 00:24:04,618 But I want to. 354 00:24:04,701 --> 00:24:05,786 Oh. 355 00:24:08,872 --> 00:24:11,500 Well, good night again. 356 00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:16,838 Tom, please don't bother. 357 00:24:16,922 --> 00:24:19,132 I insist on walking you to your door. 358 00:24:19,216 --> 00:24:21,927 But... But it's silly for you to climb all those stairs. 359 00:24:22,010 --> 00:24:24,846 But I want to. Believe me, I want to. 360 00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:26,306 Oh. 361 00:24:41,613 --> 00:24:44,658 Well, good night again. 362 00:24:48,412 --> 00:24:50,956 Uh, may I ask how long you've lived here? 363 00:24:51,039 --> 00:24:53,500 Oh, just a very short while. 364 00:24:54,584 --> 00:24:56,336 Good night. 365 00:25:03,719 --> 00:25:05,304 Uh, yes, Tom? 366 00:25:05,387 --> 00:25:08,223 We never did get to, uh, last names. 367 00:25:08,307 --> 00:25:10,767 Oh. 368 00:25:10,851 --> 00:25:13,228 No, uh, so we didn't, did we? 369 00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:16,315 Uh, Milford. 370 00:25:16,398 --> 00:25:18,191 Joan Milford. 371 00:25:20,152 --> 00:25:21,194 I'm baffled. 372 00:25:21,278 --> 00:25:22,487 What did you say? 373 00:25:22,571 --> 00:25:24,865 Uh, Baffle. Tom Baffle. 374 00:25:24,948 --> 00:25:27,117 Like confused? 375 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,952 Very. 376 00:25:29,036 --> 00:25:30,370 Oh. 377 00:25:31,455 --> 00:25:33,206 Good night. 378 00:26:02,903 --> 00:26:04,696 Oh! 379 00:26:04,780 --> 00:26:07,324 It's you. Um... 380 00:26:07,407 --> 00:26:10,827 Oh, I hate to leave dirty milk bottles in the hallway. 381 00:26:12,954 --> 00:26:16,375 By the way, I was wondering, could I take you out tomorrow night? 382 00:26:16,458 --> 00:26:19,211 Oh, I'd... I'd love to meet you some place. 383 00:26:19,294 --> 00:26:22,964 Well, I think this place is most convenient for me. -007? 384 00:26:23,048 --> 00:26:24,424 Well, I don't expect to be... 385 00:26:24,508 --> 00:26:25,801 Tomorrow night at 8:00. 386 00:26:25,884 --> 00:26:27,094 Good night. 387 00:26:27,177 --> 00:26:28,512 Again. 388 00:26:29,971 --> 00:26:31,807 Again. 389 00:26:52,619 --> 00:26:54,287 Where next? 390 00:26:54,371 --> 00:26:56,206 I don't know. 391 00:26:56,289 --> 00:26:57,833 Don't you want to go home? 392 00:26:57,916 --> 00:26:59,459 I am home. 393 00:27:03,171 --> 00:27:05,382 What do you want me to do? Drive you up the steps? 394 00:27:09,344 --> 00:27:11,012 58th Street Towers. 395 00:27:19,354 --> 00:27:20,647 But where did she get a key? 396 00:27:20,730 --> 00:27:23,108 I don't know. I don't know. 397 00:27:23,191 --> 00:27:25,360 Call the police, Tom. She's after the paintings. 398 00:27:25,444 --> 00:27:28,029 I'll be personally responsible for the paintings. 399 00:27:28,113 --> 00:27:30,033 Somebody just stole your apartment and your name, 400 00:27:30,115 --> 00:27:33,034 and you're gonna be responsible for my... Call the police. 401 00:27:33,118 --> 00:27:36,788 I will not call the police because I'm not convinced that this girl is a thief. 402 00:27:36,872 --> 00:27:39,499 Now, I've gotta find out for myself just what's going on. 403 00:27:41,168 --> 00:27:43,920 And while you're trying to find out, where do you expect to live? 404 00:27:44,004 --> 00:27:47,466 Harvey. Harvey, what are friends for? 405 00:27:47,549 --> 00:27:49,885 I mean, when you needed a home for your paintings, 406 00:27:49,968 --> 00:27:51,887 why, who did you come to? 407 00:27:54,598 --> 00:27:56,141 Hmm. 408 00:28:07,194 --> 00:28:09,134 I hope you don't mind if I don't make it up for you. 409 00:28:09,154 --> 00:28:10,155 That's all right. 410 00:28:10,238 --> 00:28:12,282 Say, uh, do you have an extra key? Hmm? 411 00:28:12,365 --> 00:28:13,700 An extra key. 412 00:28:13,783 --> 00:28:15,577 Over my dead body. 413 00:28:15,660 --> 00:28:19,122 Harvey, are we bosom pals? I mean, bosom pals. 414 00:28:19,206 --> 00:28:20,665 Yeah, bosom, yes. Key, no. 415 00:28:22,125 --> 00:28:24,149 Do you realize what would happen if I did call the police? 416 00:28:24,169 --> 00:28:26,568 Why, the paintings would become a matter of public information 417 00:28:26,588 --> 00:28:28,089 and community property. 418 00:28:29,299 --> 00:28:32,385 Now, either you give me the key, or, uh, 419 00:28:32,469 --> 00:28:34,429 I'll have to call the police. 420 00:28:44,272 --> 00:28:46,066 You bring one little bunny up to this place, 421 00:28:46,149 --> 00:28:47,839 I'll have you both arrested for trespassing. 422 00:28:47,859 --> 00:28:49,653 Me? Yeah. 423 00:28:50,987 --> 00:28:51,988 Who are you calling? 424 00:28:52,072 --> 00:28:55,784 I'm gonna call my place, because I cannot believe what has happened. 425 00:28:55,909 --> 00:28:57,669 Hey, do you think I had some sort of a lapse? 426 00:29:00,622 --> 00:29:01,665 The line's busy. 427 00:29:01,748 --> 00:29:04,064 Why, of course it's busy. She's probably calling the truck. 428 00:29:04,084 --> 00:29:06,127 Come and get it! 429 00:29:07,963 --> 00:29:14,052 Goldilocks. I feel just like Goldilocks sleeping in Papa Bear's bed. 430 00:29:14,135 --> 00:29:15,595 What? 431 00:29:15,762 --> 00:29:18,139 Oh, relax. Milford's in California. 432 00:29:18,223 --> 00:29:20,892 And, well, I just couldn't let Baffle see where we live. 433 00:29:20,976 --> 00:29:23,895 Look. I got no time to horse around. The sink is stopped up, 434 00:29:23,979 --> 00:29:26,773 the fuse blew in the bathroom, and we got ants in the refrigerator. 435 00:29:26,856 --> 00:29:29,609 Now you get out of that bed and you come right home. 436 00:29:29,693 --> 00:29:31,528 But I'm stuck here. And besides, 437 00:29:31,611 --> 00:29:33,238 we have another date tomorrow night. 438 00:29:33,321 --> 00:29:35,448 Oh, be a good kid, Audrey, and bring my white dress 439 00:29:35,532 --> 00:29:37,826 and my cold cream and toothbrush, huh? 440 00:29:37,909 --> 00:29:41,955 You get home this very minute, or I'll come over and get you. 441 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,168 You can't just move into somebody's apartment without permission. 442 00:29:47,252 --> 00:29:49,337 It's forcible entry. It's trespassing. 443 00:29:49,421 --> 00:29:51,756 It's a criminal offense, punishable by law. 444 00:29:59,222 --> 00:30:01,099 He's in California, huh? 445 00:30:07,689 --> 00:30:09,149 Mmm. 446 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:16,906 Where am I? 447 00:30:18,825 --> 00:30:20,076 Oh. 448 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:23,288 Oh. All right. Come on. Goldilocks, get up. It's morning. 449 00:30:23,371 --> 00:30:24,497 Come on. Up, up, up. Up. 450 00:30:24,581 --> 00:30:27,125 I heard ya. I heard ya. I heard ya. 451 00:30:30,545 --> 00:30:32,130 Hey, this is the life. 452 00:30:33,965 --> 00:30:36,092 Why don't you go in and tub first 453 00:30:36,176 --> 00:30:38,970 while I just wallow in this ecstasy, huh? 454 00:30:39,971 --> 00:30:41,640 Hey, Joan, let's not get carried away. 455 00:30:41,723 --> 00:30:44,351 You know, we are trespassing. We could get arrested. 456 00:30:45,852 --> 00:30:47,604 You worry too much. I do, huh? 457 00:30:47,687 --> 00:30:48,688 Mmm-hmm. 458 00:30:48,772 --> 00:30:50,670 Suppose Milford made a sudden return to New York. 459 00:30:50,690 --> 00:30:53,318 Suppose he walked into this room right now. 460 00:30:53,401 --> 00:30:55,278 Would you want to be found here like this? 461 00:30:55,362 --> 00:30:59,032 I should say not. I'm gonna go bathe and then put some makeup on. 462 00:31:04,829 --> 00:31:07,332 Leave me some of that hot water, will ya? 463 00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:10,335 I heard ya. I heard ya. 464 00:31:12,295 --> 00:31:14,130 Did you ever meet this Milford guy? 465 00:31:14,214 --> 00:31:17,008 Uh-uh. I only sweep up the remains. 466 00:31:17,759 --> 00:31:20,095 Any idea what his racket is? 467 00:31:20,178 --> 00:31:22,472 Well, I'd say he books talent for orgies. 468 00:31:22,555 --> 00:31:24,808 I got news for ya. 469 00:31:24,891 --> 00:31:26,226 He's a jockey. 470 00:31:26,309 --> 00:31:27,811 A what? 471 00:31:27,894 --> 00:31:29,354 A jockey. 472 00:31:31,106 --> 00:31:33,024 I found this in the night table. 473 00:31:33,108 --> 00:31:35,360 "Ginny Frazell. Chestnut hair. Spirited. 474 00:31:35,443 --> 00:31:38,113 "Good legs. Slow starter, but great in stretch. 475 00:31:38,196 --> 00:31:40,365 "Murray Hill, 37599." 476 00:31:40,448 --> 00:31:42,450 If he ain't a jockey, he sure loves horses. 477 00:31:42,534 --> 00:31:45,912 He'll love anything. I clean up this stable. I know. 478 00:31:45,995 --> 00:31:48,081 Here. Read this one. 479 00:31:48,164 --> 00:31:50,417 "Agnes Whitby. Good disposition. 480 00:31:50,500 --> 00:31:52,711 "Affectionate. Slightly nervous. 481 00:31:52,794 --> 00:31:54,921 "Needs two or three outings." 482 00:31:55,004 --> 00:31:58,508 I guess if he likes you, he shoves a piece of sugar in your mouth. 483 00:31:59,634 --> 00:32:02,846 Oh. Oh, "Flo Whitby. Mother of Agnes. 484 00:32:02,929 --> 00:32:07,892 "Superb track record. Breaks fast, always there at the finish." 485 00:32:07,976 --> 00:32:11,563 So what's a swinging jockey like him doing with a bottle of bubble bath? 486 00:32:11,646 --> 00:32:13,732 Maybe his mother visits him once in a while. 487 00:32:13,815 --> 00:32:15,066 Or Agnes' mother. 488 00:32:15,150 --> 00:32:17,819 Do you think it'd be all right if we stayed again tonight? 489 00:32:18,862 --> 00:32:21,865 I've got enough apartments to clean without adding a new one. 490 00:32:22,532 --> 00:32:24,576 Just one more night. 491 00:32:24,659 --> 00:32:27,203 I mean, how can you give up that wonderful bathtub? 492 00:32:27,287 --> 00:32:29,205 Suppose he asks you for a date tomorrow night? 493 00:32:29,289 --> 00:32:31,583 And the next night, and the next? 494 00:32:32,292 --> 00:32:35,211 Yeah, that's true. 495 00:32:35,295 --> 00:32:37,756 I can't wear the same dress each time, can 1? 496 00:32:37,839 --> 00:32:39,883 Now wait a second. 497 00:32:44,220 --> 00:32:46,020 Your stuff's on the left. Mine's on the right. 498 00:32:46,097 --> 00:32:47,640 It's a pretty tight squeeze. 499 00:32:47,724 --> 00:32:49,142 What about the other closet? 500 00:32:49,225 --> 00:32:50,810 Oh, it's loaded. 501 00:32:50,894 --> 00:32:53,396 He's got fishing rods, diving equipment, a bowling ball. 502 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,815 There's even a saddle in there. 503 00:32:55,899 --> 00:32:58,193 Hey, maybe he really is a jockey. 504 00:32:58,276 --> 00:33:00,195 Call Agnes. See if she whinnies. 505 00:33:00,278 --> 00:33:02,405 Ew. It's 8:00. I'd better get a move on. 506 00:33:02,489 --> 00:33:04,157 Now you remember what I said. 507 00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,159 Don't let Baffle into this apartment. 508 00:33:06,242 --> 00:33:08,244 It's about as feminine as a wrestler's locker room. 509 00:33:08,328 --> 00:33:10,163 A guy takes a girl out for a big evening. 510 00:33:10,246 --> 00:33:12,040 Now how can I tell him to wait in the hall? 511 00:33:12,123 --> 00:33:14,083 I'll tell you how. 512 00:33:14,167 --> 00:33:17,420 You say, "Wait in the hall." That's how. 513 00:33:17,504 --> 00:33:19,881 Oh, now you're a big help. 514 00:33:19,964 --> 00:33:23,259 Well, next time some Joe takes you out, you have to do like I do. 515 00:33:23,343 --> 00:33:25,178 I tell them I live in Connecticut. 516 00:33:25,261 --> 00:33:29,098 Then they take me to Grand Central Station, and I duck into the subway. 517 00:33:29,182 --> 00:33:32,435 So what happens when they insist on putting you on the train? 518 00:33:32,519 --> 00:33:34,938 So once in a while I spend a night in New Haven. 519 00:33:36,397 --> 00:33:37,774 Now you remember what I said. 520 00:33:38,983 --> 00:33:39,984 Don't let him in. 521 00:33:40,068 --> 00:33:41,694 What if he insists when we come back? 522 00:33:41,778 --> 00:33:43,092 So I'll move the sofa out into the hallway. 523 00:33:43,112 --> 00:33:44,197 Ooh, thanks a lot. 524 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,157 Coming! 525 00:33:46,241 --> 00:33:47,867 Now remember what I said. 526 00:33:47,951 --> 00:33:50,995 Hi, Tom. 527 00:33:51,079 --> 00:33:53,289 Uh, I'm kind of early. You mind if I come in? 528 00:33:53,373 --> 00:33:57,001 The place is such a mess. You see, I'm having maid trouble. 529 00:34:01,464 --> 00:34:04,926 Yeah. We can't get 'em out of the bathtub. 530 00:34:09,597 --> 00:34:10,974 Quinine water and a drop of gin. 531 00:34:11,057 --> 00:34:12,058 Vodka martini. 532 00:34:15,228 --> 00:34:16,980 Charlie. 533 00:34:17,063 --> 00:34:18,064 Charlie. 534 00:34:18,147 --> 00:34:21,526 There's that little swinger I was telling you about. 535 00:34:23,570 --> 00:34:25,613 The cute little kid? 536 00:34:25,697 --> 00:34:28,032 You've been in that domestic vodka again. 537 00:34:28,116 --> 00:34:30,910 Now take these over and lay an ear on 'em. 538 00:34:30,994 --> 00:34:34,914 You'll hear talk that'll singe the fuzz right out of your navel. 539 00:34:35,874 --> 00:34:37,750 You know, Joan, I admire you. 540 00:34:37,834 --> 00:34:38,918 I mean, you are a rarity. 541 00:34:39,002 --> 00:34:40,211 Oh? 542 00:34:40,295 --> 00:34:42,297 Well... Thank you. 543 00:34:42,380 --> 00:34:45,967 With everybody crying about the immorality of the times, uh, 544 00:34:46,050 --> 00:34:47,927 here you are, a little puritan, 545 00:34:48,011 --> 00:34:50,680 in the middle of this great, big, evil city. 546 00:34:50,763 --> 00:34:52,390 Won't allow a man into her apartment. 547 00:34:52,473 --> 00:34:54,193 Well, I told you, 548 00:34:54,225 --> 00:34:56,185 my housekeeper didn't show up. 549 00:34:56,269 --> 00:34:59,147 Now you know that's not so. You're just being respectable and proper. 550 00:34:59,230 --> 00:35:00,565 And I commend you for it. 551 00:35:00,648 --> 00:35:03,026 Well, a girl should be careful. 552 00:35:03,109 --> 00:35:04,841 I mean, just recently a fellow took me out to dinner, 553 00:35:04,861 --> 00:35:06,029 and then to a show, 554 00:35:06,112 --> 00:35:07,594 and then really got terribly upset with me 555 00:35:07,614 --> 00:35:09,532 because I wouldn't let him kiss me good night. 556 00:35:09,616 --> 00:35:11,075 Well, you stay old-fashioned. 557 00:35:11,159 --> 00:35:13,411 And as far as my interest in your apartment is concerned, 558 00:35:13,494 --> 00:35:15,455 why, it's, uh, purely professional. 559 00:35:16,748 --> 00:35:18,291 Professional? 560 00:35:18,374 --> 00:35:19,709 Mmm-hmm. You see, I'm interested 561 00:35:19,792 --> 00:35:21,065 in the things that people live with. 562 00:35:21,085 --> 00:35:24,756 Furnishings, accessories, uh, paintings. 563 00:35:24,839 --> 00:35:26,966 Paintings? Well, I certainly don't have any of those. 564 00:35:27,050 --> 00:35:29,052 You don't? No. 565 00:35:29,135 --> 00:35:30,450 Not unless you can call something 566 00:35:30,470 --> 00:35:31,888 that looks like a two-headed man 567 00:35:31,971 --> 00:35:35,099 with a three-legged chicken standing on one of them paintings. 568 00:35:35,183 --> 00:35:37,393 Oh. Well, that sounds very impressionistic, 569 00:35:37,477 --> 00:35:39,312 uh, somebody like Jacques Pirraux. 570 00:35:39,395 --> 00:35:40,877 Now they could be very valuable, so if I were you, 571 00:35:40,897 --> 00:35:42,523 I would take very good care of them. 572 00:35:42,607 --> 00:35:46,152 Well, is that your business? Paintings? 573 00:35:46,235 --> 00:35:49,113 Not exactly. I... I'm an interior decorator. 574 00:35:52,116 --> 00:35:54,786 You? An interior decorator? 575 00:35:54,869 --> 00:35:56,429 Well, why not? I mean, is it so strange 576 00:35:56,496 --> 00:35:59,415 that I enjoy chintzes and frilly gingerbready knickknacks? 577 00:35:59,499 --> 00:36:00,583 Well, no. 578 00:36:00,667 --> 00:36:01,960 No. 579 00:36:02,043 --> 00:36:04,712 It's just that I never thought of you in that way. 580 00:36:06,089 --> 00:36:08,174 Anyone ever tell you you don't hear so good? 581 00:36:08,257 --> 00:36:11,719 She's a Girl Scout, and he's an interior decorator. 582 00:36:11,803 --> 00:36:14,055 That's an interior decorator? 583 00:36:14,138 --> 00:36:17,225 Not only don't you hear good, you don't see good. 584 00:36:19,310 --> 00:36:22,146 I think it's so exciting what you do. 585 00:36:22,230 --> 00:36:25,692 Well, you know, the sight of an old Flemish tapestry in muted tones, 586 00:36:25,775 --> 00:36:28,361 or a Louis XV credenza... 587 00:36:28,444 --> 00:36:30,822 Why, they do things to me that nothing else can do. 588 00:36:30,905 --> 00:36:32,615 Oh, I love pretty things. 589 00:36:32,699 --> 00:36:34,931 But, you know, now that I know you're an interior decorator, 590 00:36:34,951 --> 00:36:37,120 I certainly can't take you to see my place. 591 00:36:37,203 --> 00:36:39,956 But I'd love to visit your apartment. 592 00:36:40,039 --> 00:36:41,582 My apartment? Mmm-hmm. 593 00:36:41,666 --> 00:36:42,875 Well, why mine? 594 00:36:44,127 --> 00:36:46,379 Well, the answer should be quite obvious, shouldn't it? 595 00:36:46,462 --> 00:36:49,882 The fact of the matter is, uh, my place is quite disorganized. 596 00:36:49,966 --> 00:36:52,719 Uh, I've been having maid trouble, too. 597 00:36:52,802 --> 00:36:54,012 Well, I tell you what. 598 00:36:54,095 --> 00:36:55,952 You take me to your apartment, and I'll show you 599 00:36:55,972 --> 00:36:57,682 what I can do with a vacuum cleaner. 600 00:37:00,727 --> 00:37:02,103 Thank you. 601 00:37:04,188 --> 00:37:06,065 Good night. Oh, night. 602 00:37:09,569 --> 00:37:11,404 You know something, Charlie? 603 00:37:11,487 --> 00:37:13,114 You're stupid. 604 00:37:16,701 --> 00:37:18,953 Oh! It's very lovely. 605 00:37:19,037 --> 00:37:21,873 Just not what I expected in a decorator's apartment. 606 00:37:21,956 --> 00:37:23,958 Uh, well, tell me more about your apartment. 607 00:37:24,042 --> 00:37:26,002 It's really quite ugly. 608 00:37:26,085 --> 00:37:28,087 What do you find so ugly about it? 609 00:37:28,171 --> 00:37:30,840 Well, those ridiculous paintings, of course. 610 00:37:30,923 --> 00:37:33,092 I'd like to toss them out. 611 00:37:34,302 --> 00:37:35,553 You didn't. 612 00:37:35,636 --> 00:37:37,472 No, but I'm thinking about it. 613 00:37:39,015 --> 00:37:41,434 Uh, let me freshen that up, huh? 614 00:37:41,517 --> 00:37:42,602 Yeah, it's warm in here. 615 00:37:42,727 --> 00:37:46,314 Well, I can, uh... I can open the door for you. 616 00:37:46,397 --> 00:37:50,068 There. Little fresh air. That's better. 617 00:37:50,151 --> 00:37:52,945 Uh, how long did you say you lived in your place? 618 00:37:53,029 --> 00:37:54,822 Oh, just a short while. 619 00:37:54,906 --> 00:37:56,157 Uh-huh. 620 00:37:57,658 --> 00:38:00,369 There's something very familiar about that address. 621 00:38:01,829 --> 00:38:04,916 Yeah, in fact, I think I went to a party there one time. 622 00:38:06,709 --> 00:38:10,046 Now I can't recall the guy's name, but, uh... 623 00:38:10,129 --> 00:38:12,465 But I'm positive it was your apartment, in fact. 624 00:38:12,548 --> 00:38:14,509 It's possible. Do you know who I mean? 625 00:38:15,259 --> 00:38:17,095 I never met the gentleman. 626 00:38:23,226 --> 00:38:24,852 You know, 627 00:38:24,936 --> 00:38:26,896 a guy dreams up all sorts of deceptions 628 00:38:26,979 --> 00:38:28,815 to lure a girl up to his apartment, 629 00:38:28,898 --> 00:38:32,110 and, uh, you invited yourself here. 630 00:38:32,193 --> 00:38:34,237 Well, I trust you. 631 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,156 And that's a compliment to your character. 632 00:38:38,241 --> 00:38:41,869 Well, maybe it's that you think I'm harmless, 633 00:38:42,537 --> 00:38:45,123 and, uh, that's no compliment. 634 00:38:45,206 --> 00:38:48,167 Mmm. A man is only as dangerous 635 00:38:49,377 --> 00:38:51,754 as a girl wants him to be. 636 00:38:51,838 --> 00:38:53,297 Say, what's the... 637 00:38:55,299 --> 00:39:00,138 What's the proportion of gin and quinine water in this drink? 638 00:39:01,639 --> 00:39:05,268 Oh, I'd say about, uh, even-steven. 639 00:39:05,351 --> 00:39:09,147 I'd say it was more steven than even. 640 00:39:10,314 --> 00:39:12,066 Say, 641 00:39:12,150 --> 00:39:14,068 you're not trying to get me drunk, are you? 642 00:39:14,944 --> 00:39:18,114 We'll examine the motives later, hmm? 643 00:39:18,197 --> 00:39:20,491 But later may be too late. 644 00:39:20,575 --> 00:39:22,326 You know something? 645 00:39:22,410 --> 00:39:23,953 We're talkin' too much. 646 00:39:24,036 --> 00:39:27,498 But if I don't talk, how am I gonna know what's going on? 647 00:39:27,582 --> 00:39:30,751 If anything very important happens, I, uh, 648 00:39:30,835 --> 00:39:33,004 guarantee you'll be the first to know. 649 00:39:40,553 --> 00:39:42,805 Harvey, sweetheart. 650 00:39:42,889 --> 00:39:45,391 Well, when did you get back into town? 651 00:39:45,474 --> 00:39:47,351 Well, you look just fantastic. 652 00:39:47,435 --> 00:39:50,646 Just like I always say, my place is your place. 653 00:39:50,730 --> 00:39:53,024 That's why I gave you the key, you know. 654 00:39:53,107 --> 00:39:54,192 How was your trip? 655 00:39:54,275 --> 00:39:55,339 Now, I thought I told you... 656 00:39:55,359 --> 00:39:57,425 Sure, you told me. You told me you were coming into town, 657 00:39:57,445 --> 00:39:59,677 but you never told me what time the plane would get there. 658 00:39:59,697 --> 00:40:01,115 I would have been there to meet ya. 659 00:40:01,199 --> 00:40:03,117 Hey, uh, Joan, this is Harve. 660 00:40:03,201 --> 00:40:06,204 How do you do? My best pal. Greatest pal a guy ever had. 661 00:40:06,287 --> 00:40:08,289 You are a sight for sore eyes. Will you stop that? 662 00:40:08,372 --> 00:40:09,687 Tom, I am not going to let you... 663 00:40:09,707 --> 00:40:10,875 Isn't he a sweet man? 664 00:40:10,958 --> 00:40:12,398 He's not gonna let me inconvenience myself 665 00:40:12,418 --> 00:40:13,961 by putting him up for the night. 666 00:40:14,045 --> 00:40:15,922 Well, Harvey, if you want to spend the night in 667 00:40:16,005 --> 00:40:17,798 a dreary old hotel room, you go right ahead. 668 00:40:17,882 --> 00:40:19,280 What dreary hotel room? I'm not going... 669 00:40:19,300 --> 00:40:21,449 Come on in the kitchen. I want to get you a glass of milk. 670 00:40:21,469 --> 00:40:24,055 You must have had a very, very rough trip. How was the flight? 671 00:40:24,138 --> 00:40:25,348 I'll be back in a second. 672 00:40:25,431 --> 00:40:26,682 I don't want any milk. 673 00:40:26,766 --> 00:40:28,664 It doesn't matter. There must be something in here. 674 00:40:28,684 --> 00:40:29,936 I just don't want to get... 675 00:40:30,019 --> 00:40:31,395 Now look, I thought I told you... 676 00:40:31,479 --> 00:40:33,731 Shh. This is the girl that took my place. 677 00:40:33,814 --> 00:40:35,107 What is she doing in my place? 678 00:40:35,191 --> 00:40:36,505 Well, she won't let me go to my place, 679 00:40:36,525 --> 00:40:38,005 so I had to call your place my place. 680 00:40:38,069 --> 00:40:39,175 Get her out of here, you hear? 681 00:40:39,195 --> 00:40:40,238 Out, out. 682 00:40:40,321 --> 00:40:43,157 Harve, I've been working on her. She's just starting to talk. 683 00:40:43,241 --> 00:40:45,223 Well, teach her how to walk and get her out of here. 684 00:40:45,243 --> 00:40:46,515 Look. The case is practically broken. 685 00:40:46,535 --> 00:40:47,683 She's ready to spill the beans. 686 00:40:47,703 --> 00:40:49,205 And she's no crook. Uh-uh. 687 00:40:49,288 --> 00:40:51,479 In fact, she has no idea of the value of your paintings. 688 00:40:51,499 --> 00:40:53,379 Oh, really? Yeah. She thinks they're ridiculous. 689 00:40:53,417 --> 00:40:54,418 Oh, really? 690 00:40:54,502 --> 00:40:56,796 Yeah. So ridiculous she wants to throw 'em out. 691 00:40:56,879 --> 00:40:58,005 Is that... No. 692 00:40:58,089 --> 00:40:59,090 Yeah. Yeah. 693 00:40:59,173 --> 00:41:00,258 Oh, no. No. 694 00:41:00,341 --> 00:41:03,094 Oh, well... Well, I didn't mean it that way. It's just a joke. 695 00:41:03,177 --> 00:41:06,055 Now, I want my paintings, Tom. I... I want them tonight. Now! 696 00:41:06,138 --> 00:41:08,432 Harvey. Harvey, please. It was just a joke. I mean, I... 697 00:41:08,516 --> 00:41:11,018 The paintings are perfectly safe. They're all right. 698 00:41:11,102 --> 00:41:13,020 Now be a pal. Give me a little time. 699 00:41:13,104 --> 00:41:15,189 I'm on the five-yard line. Hey. 700 00:41:15,273 --> 00:41:16,983 Why don't you check into the Plaza Hotel? 701 00:41:17,066 --> 00:41:18,901 I'll pay for everything. All right? 702 00:41:18,985 --> 00:41:21,153 You check into the Plaza Hotel. 703 00:41:21,237 --> 00:41:24,573 Word of honor, if I detect any evidence of criminal intent, 704 00:41:24,657 --> 00:41:27,326 I'll pick up the paintings and... And call the police. 705 00:41:27,410 --> 00:41:29,161 Scout's honor. 706 00:41:30,454 --> 00:41:31,747 Oh. 707 00:41:31,831 --> 00:41:34,583 I've been locked in with my wife's lawyers for six hours. 708 00:41:34,667 --> 00:41:36,544 I've got indigestion. 709 00:41:37,586 --> 00:41:39,297 I'm tired. 710 00:41:39,380 --> 00:41:43,134 All I want to do is rest my head on my very own pillow. 711 00:41:43,217 --> 00:41:46,178 I'll pack it in a bag, and you can take it with you. Come on. 712 00:41:46,262 --> 00:41:48,806 Oh, thank you. Sure. I knew you'd see it my way. 713 00:41:52,101 --> 00:41:53,644 Going so soon, Harve? 714 00:41:53,728 --> 00:41:57,106 Tom, you're a terrible host. Give the man some quinine water. 715 00:41:57,189 --> 00:41:58,254 Make yourself at home, Harve. 716 00:41:58,274 --> 00:41:59,275 I have no home. 717 00:42:01,319 --> 00:42:03,279 Good night, Harve. 718 00:42:10,328 --> 00:42:12,288 What does he mean by that? 719 00:42:12,371 --> 00:42:13,831 Who, Harve? 720 00:42:13,914 --> 00:42:15,583 Well, uh, he actually is suffering 721 00:42:15,666 --> 00:42:17,460 from a terrible emotional problem. 722 00:42:17,543 --> 00:42:20,087 He... He thinks he's a wandering gypsy. 723 00:42:20,171 --> 00:42:22,214 He wears bright-colored shirts and earrings. 724 00:42:22,298 --> 00:42:24,175 Even shakes a tambourine. 725 00:42:24,258 --> 00:42:26,927 Poor Harve. 726 00:42:27,011 --> 00:42:28,179 Listen. 727 00:42:36,479 --> 00:42:37,563 Tom. 728 00:42:37,646 --> 00:42:39,148 Hmm? 729 00:42:39,231 --> 00:42:40,983 Take me home. 730 00:42:41,067 --> 00:42:43,110 Home? Why? 731 00:42:43,986 --> 00:42:47,031 I don't think I should be here in this condition. 732 00:42:47,114 --> 00:42:48,824 What condition? 733 00:42:48,908 --> 00:42:52,953 Well... I don't know, but it feels good, and... 734 00:42:53,037 --> 00:42:55,915 I'd be afraid to feel any better. 735 00:42:55,998 --> 00:42:57,833 Don't you trust me? 736 00:42:57,917 --> 00:42:59,293 Should I? 737 00:43:43,045 --> 00:43:45,089 8:00'll be fine, Tom. 738 00:43:45,172 --> 00:43:47,091 Oh, I was looking at those paintings. 739 00:43:47,174 --> 00:43:49,343 They are by that fellow Schmeero. 740 00:43:50,553 --> 00:43:51,971 Oh, Pirraux. 741 00:43:52,054 --> 00:43:55,266 Uh, well, is he a boozer? 742 00:43:55,724 --> 00:43:57,726 Nobody sees things like that sober. 743 00:43:59,061 --> 00:44:00,604 I'd still like to toss them out. 744 00:44:02,273 --> 00:44:05,317 Tom, why do you stutter when I say that? 745 00:44:06,694 --> 00:44:09,071 Okay, I'll think about it. 746 00:44:09,155 --> 00:44:11,031 Somebody's at the door. See you at 8:00. 747 00:44:15,035 --> 00:44:16,537 Hi, guys. 748 00:44:19,957 --> 00:44:22,543 Been rehearsing since 10:00 this morning. 749 00:44:22,626 --> 00:44:24,795 Don't ask me why. 750 00:44:24,879 --> 00:44:26,755 Girl, nobody's making you do it with whips. 751 00:44:26,839 --> 00:44:28,716 You don't like the play, quit. 752 00:44:28,799 --> 00:44:31,218 Well, maybe if I knew what was going on. 753 00:44:31,302 --> 00:44:35,473 Twenty-two weeks rehearsing, and still doesn't get the author's message. 754 00:44:35,556 --> 00:44:37,725 Tell me about last night. 755 00:44:37,808 --> 00:44:39,226 Well, it was very nice. 756 00:44:39,310 --> 00:44:43,439 He's... He's considerate and refined. 757 00:44:43,522 --> 00:44:47,067 He called the play The Onion because life is like an onion. 758 00:44:47,151 --> 00:44:49,403 Peel away the skins, what have you got? 759 00:44:49,487 --> 00:44:51,947 A naked onion. Now shut up. 760 00:44:52,031 --> 00:44:54,867 All men are considerate and refined the first time out. 761 00:44:54,950 --> 00:44:56,869 No, no. Tom's really different. He's... 762 00:44:56,952 --> 00:44:58,272 Well, he's an interior decorator. 763 00:44:59,413 --> 00:45:00,998 No. Come on. 764 00:45:01,081 --> 00:45:05,836 I'm not kidding. He loves art and frilly, chintzy gingerbready things. 765 00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,047 That's why he wants to see this apartment so badly. 766 00:45:08,130 --> 00:45:09,757 He says he's got a lot of ideas. 767 00:45:10,591 --> 00:45:11,884 I'll bet he has. 768 00:45:12,843 --> 00:45:16,347 Look, honey, you've latched on to a very high-grade mechanic. 769 00:45:16,430 --> 00:45:18,849 He's an interior decorator like I'm an astronaut. 770 00:45:18,933 --> 00:45:21,810 First he relaxes you with the chintz bit. 771 00:45:21,894 --> 00:45:25,022 Then the next thing you know, you're asking to see his apartment. 772 00:45:25,105 --> 00:45:26,649 I've already seen his apartment. 773 00:45:26,732 --> 00:45:27,733 What did I tell ya? 774 00:45:27,816 --> 00:45:28,984 That's as far as it went. 775 00:45:29,068 --> 00:45:30,986 Patience. He'll get there. 776 00:45:31,070 --> 00:45:32,655 Look, he was a perfect gentleman. 777 00:45:32,738 --> 00:45:35,115 I went to his apartment, I had a couple of drinks. 778 00:45:35,199 --> 00:45:36,700 I got a little dizzy. 779 00:45:36,784 --> 00:45:39,870 So he brought me home and kissed me on the forehead and left. 780 00:45:41,997 --> 00:45:44,500 Could be he is an interior decorator. 781 00:45:44,583 --> 00:45:46,877 The author says life's like an onion... 782 00:45:46,961 --> 00:45:51,006 Not only because it's got skins, but also because it stinks. 783 00:45:51,090 --> 00:45:55,928 Look. Why don't you make like a potato and get boiled? 784 00:45:56,053 --> 00:45:57,846 Now leave us alone. 785 00:45:57,930 --> 00:45:59,682 He's coming here at 8:00. 786 00:45:59,765 --> 00:46:02,685 Well, just remember to keep him out in the hallway. 787 00:46:04,812 --> 00:46:06,939 Maybe I could tell him it's my brother's apartment. 788 00:46:07,022 --> 00:46:08,983 You haven't got a brother. 789 00:46:09,066 --> 00:46:10,317 Well, he doesn't know that. 790 00:46:10,401 --> 00:46:13,112 He'll find out. Men don't like women who lie. 791 00:46:13,195 --> 00:46:14,780 Besides, you got a great big doozy 792 00:46:14,863 --> 00:46:16,865 working for you right now. That's enough. 793 00:46:16,949 --> 00:46:20,661 Well, maybe we can stall him until we rent another apartment. 794 00:46:20,744 --> 00:46:22,288 Do you realize what it would cost 795 00:46:22,371 --> 00:46:24,123 to decorate one as nicely as this? 796 00:46:26,959 --> 00:46:28,669 Wait a second. 797 00:46:30,796 --> 00:46:32,965 Wait a second. 798 00:46:33,048 --> 00:46:35,467 Now, just what piece of hanky-panky 799 00:46:35,551 --> 00:46:38,095 do you have cooking in that twisted little mind? 800 00:46:45,519 --> 00:46:48,105 Oh! I just remembered. 801 00:46:48,188 --> 00:46:50,524 I got an appointment with my dentist in Jersey City. 802 00:46:50,608 --> 00:46:52,298 Well, wait for me. My teeth are killing me. 803 00:46:52,318 --> 00:46:53,319 Halt. 804 00:46:53,444 --> 00:46:55,404 No one is leaving the premises. 805 00:46:55,487 --> 00:46:57,489 I am gonna put skirts in this apartment, 806 00:46:57,573 --> 00:46:59,074 and you two are gonna help me. 807 00:47:06,081 --> 00:47:08,000 Mmm-hmm. 808 00:47:08,083 --> 00:47:09,710 Ah, yes. 809 00:47:09,793 --> 00:47:11,295 English tailoring. 810 00:47:11,378 --> 00:47:13,964 But wearable. Wearable. 811 00:47:14,048 --> 00:47:15,090 Your husband's, ma'am? 812 00:47:15,174 --> 00:47:16,383 Mmm. 813 00:47:17,259 --> 00:47:19,178 Hardly worn. Hardly worn. 814 00:47:19,261 --> 00:47:20,763 Uh, he left me. 815 00:47:22,181 --> 00:47:24,600 I see. How long were you married? 816 00:47:26,810 --> 00:47:29,521 Well, I... I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind. 817 00:47:29,605 --> 00:47:31,190 Oh, but I do mind. 818 00:47:31,273 --> 00:47:34,777 You see, I operate here under the benevolence of a police license, 819 00:47:34,860 --> 00:47:38,656 and if I accept merchandise of questionable origin, 820 00:47:38,739 --> 00:47:41,158 I jeopardize that license and my own good name. 821 00:47:41,700 --> 00:47:44,745 Well! If you're suggesting that I'm a thief... 822 00:47:44,828 --> 00:47:48,457 Well, you say you're married, but I see you wear no band. 823 00:47:50,709 --> 00:47:54,171 Or could it be that the vows were never spoken? 824 00:47:55,089 --> 00:47:56,924 Ah. Pity. 825 00:47:57,007 --> 00:47:58,217 You're in difficulty. 826 00:47:58,300 --> 00:48:01,053 But the shame is not in loving unwisely. 827 00:48:01,136 --> 00:48:05,849 The shame rests on him who would sip the nectar, you might say, 828 00:48:05,933 --> 00:48:09,061 and take flight before the blossom has fruited. 829 00:48:10,562 --> 00:48:11,980 Mr. O'Shea! 830 00:48:12,064 --> 00:48:13,107 What is it, girl? 831 00:48:13,190 --> 00:48:14,858 Oh, I'm afraid that you have... 832 00:48:14,942 --> 00:48:16,131 Oh, now, don't be afraid, child. 833 00:48:16,151 --> 00:48:18,112 Don't be afraid. Have courage. 834 00:48:18,195 --> 00:48:22,908 After all, it's the most natural and sacred of miracles. 835 00:48:22,991 --> 00:48:26,787 I'll, uh... I'll lend you $100 on the lot, 836 00:48:27,746 --> 00:48:29,248 in spite of the tailoring. 837 00:48:40,843 --> 00:48:43,762 Uh, you sure you won't sell them? 838 00:48:43,846 --> 00:48:45,889 Still hoping the rascal will return. 839 00:48:47,141 --> 00:48:50,352 They rarely do. They rarely do. 840 00:48:50,436 --> 00:48:53,313 No, no, you... You make a new life for yourself. 841 00:48:53,397 --> 00:48:55,149 Develop an interest. 842 00:48:55,232 --> 00:48:56,734 Have you any musical ability? 843 00:48:56,817 --> 00:48:58,152 Uh, no, sir. 844 00:48:58,235 --> 00:49:00,279 Oh? Well, here. 845 00:49:00,362 --> 00:49:02,990 Plunk on this to while away the days. 846 00:49:03,073 --> 00:49:06,285 And when the time comes I'll have a perambulator for you. 847 00:49:06,368 --> 00:49:07,995 Watch your step now as you go out. 848 00:49:08,078 --> 00:49:10,414 You've got to take great care of yourself now. 849 00:49:10,497 --> 00:49:12,332 Goodbye. Goodbye. 850 00:49:12,416 --> 00:49:14,209 God bless you. 851 00:49:15,252 --> 00:49:17,045 Oh, no. 852 00:49:17,129 --> 00:49:19,173 They can't fool O'Shea. 853 00:49:29,641 --> 00:49:31,852 Call me at the Plaza as soon as you find out. 854 00:49:31,935 --> 00:49:33,103 Harvey, will you relax? 855 00:49:33,187 --> 00:49:34,563 The paintings are all right. 856 00:49:34,646 --> 00:49:36,148 Call me anyway. 857 00:49:36,231 --> 00:49:39,610 00. I'm gonna push the watch up to 8:00. 858 00:49:39,693 --> 00:49:42,070 She can't possibly leave me in the hall for a whole hour. 859 00:49:42,154 --> 00:49:43,822 She's gotta ask me in. Talk to you later. 860 00:49:43,906 --> 00:49:45,240 Mmm, yeah. 861 00:50:06,386 --> 00:50:07,846 Well, hi, Tom. Hi. 862 00:50:08,764 --> 00:50:10,084 What are you doing here so early? 863 00:50:10,140 --> 00:50:11,225 Early? 864 00:50:11,308 --> 00:50:13,310 We did make it for 8:00, didn't we? 865 00:50:13,393 --> 00:50:14,853 But it's only 7:00. 866 00:50:14,937 --> 00:50:16,438 7:00? 867 00:50:17,231 --> 00:50:18,273 Well, it is racing a bit. 868 00:50:18,357 --> 00:50:21,318 I guess I am early. I'm sorry. I'll just wait out here. 869 00:50:21,401 --> 00:50:24,071 Don't be silly. Come on in. 870 00:50:25,489 --> 00:50:27,282 Well, come on! 871 00:50:46,009 --> 00:50:48,679 Uh, Tom, this is Luther. 872 00:50:48,762 --> 00:50:50,013 Hi, neighbor! 873 00:50:50,097 --> 00:50:53,308 Luth, will you get my guest a drink? I'll just be one minute. 874 00:50:53,392 --> 00:50:54,434 What are you drinkin'? 875 00:50:54,518 --> 00:50:56,895 Uh, uh, nothing, thank you. 876 00:50:56,979 --> 00:50:59,064 You name it, we've got it. 877 00:50:59,314 --> 00:51:03,026 Uh, if you don't mind I'll just browse around. 878 00:51:08,407 --> 00:51:11,076 How are they getting along out there? 879 00:51:11,159 --> 00:51:12,578 Okay, I guess. 880 00:51:12,661 --> 00:51:13,767 I'd sure like to meet the guy, 881 00:51:13,787 --> 00:51:16,832 but I look like I been working out with the Green Bay Packers. 882 00:51:21,545 --> 00:51:22,963 He's cute, isn't he? 883 00:51:23,046 --> 00:51:25,007 Not from this angle. 884 00:51:28,093 --> 00:51:29,761 He can walk, can't he? 885 00:51:29,845 --> 00:51:31,096 Sure. 886 00:51:31,179 --> 00:51:33,015 You'd better watch yourself with this guy. 887 00:51:33,098 --> 00:51:35,350 He's gotta be a wolf, from what I can see. 888 00:51:40,147 --> 00:51:42,024 Tom, what's the trouble? 889 00:51:42,107 --> 00:51:44,860 Oh, no trouble at all. I was just checking the upholstery. 890 00:51:44,943 --> 00:51:46,445 It's very fine. Very fine indeed. 891 00:51:46,528 --> 00:51:47,738 Oh. 892 00:51:47,821 --> 00:51:50,407 Well, I'm all ready. What's on the agenda? 893 00:51:50,490 --> 00:51:52,409 Well, I thought we'd catch a movie. 894 00:51:52,492 --> 00:51:54,244 Then I'd take you for a bite to eat. 895 00:51:54,328 --> 00:51:58,332 And then I'd like to talk to you about some exciting ideas I have 896 00:51:58,415 --> 00:52:00,125 for redoing my apartment. 897 00:52:00,208 --> 00:52:01,960 Wonderful. 898 00:52:05,088 --> 00:52:08,634 I don't know about that guy. What's he look like to you? 899 00:52:08,717 --> 00:52:11,178 Just another pretty face. 900 00:52:19,895 --> 00:52:23,231 I tell ya, if there's one thing I cannot stand, it's a clean Italian movie. 901 00:52:23,315 --> 00:52:26,652 Well, Luigi Brocatelli always plays such a wolf. 902 00:52:26,735 --> 00:52:29,112 Imagine him as an 80-year-old shoemaker! 903 00:52:29,196 --> 00:52:31,531 I wonder where there's a good spaghetti place around here. 904 00:52:31,615 --> 00:52:33,533 Hey, hiya, hotshot! Paul. 905 00:52:33,617 --> 00:52:34,660 Guys, look who's here! 906 00:52:34,743 --> 00:52:35,744 Hi, Tommy! 907 00:52:35,827 --> 00:52:36,912 Hi, Tom. How are you? 908 00:52:36,995 --> 00:52:37,996 Hi. How are you? 909 00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:40,332 Say, uh, folks, I'd like you to meet Joan. 910 00:52:40,415 --> 00:52:42,459 Joan, this is Kitty and Paul and Jeff and Helen. 911 00:52:42,542 --> 00:52:43,710 Hello, Joan. 912 00:52:43,794 --> 00:52:45,275 Long time no see, Tom. Where you been hiding? 913 00:52:45,295 --> 00:52:46,546 Oh, at the office mostly. 914 00:52:46,630 --> 00:52:47,798 Been very busy. 915 00:52:47,881 --> 00:52:49,216 Hey, let's go some place. 916 00:52:49,299 --> 00:52:50,384 Dressed like this? 917 00:52:50,467 --> 00:52:52,219 Really, some other time, huh? 918 00:52:52,302 --> 00:52:54,179 You're close by. How about your place? 919 00:52:54,262 --> 00:52:57,224 Paul's mother is staying with us. How about your place? 920 00:52:57,307 --> 00:53:00,185 The painters are coming tomorrow and the whole joint's torn up. 921 00:53:00,268 --> 00:53:02,938 How about your place, Tom? We won't stay up late. 922 00:53:03,021 --> 00:53:04,940 Uh, well, I'd love to have you over to my place, 923 00:53:05,023 --> 00:53:06,755 but, you see, the woman next door is very sick 924 00:53:06,775 --> 00:53:08,340 and the doctors are coming in and going out. 925 00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:09,403 It's terrible. 926 00:53:10,570 --> 00:53:12,386 Word of honor, I give you a call next week, all right? 927 00:53:12,406 --> 00:53:13,845 Gee, it was awfully nice to see you. 928 00:53:13,865 --> 00:53:15,138 Good night. Nice to see you. Good night. 929 00:53:15,158 --> 00:53:18,996 Gee, I'm awfully sorry about not having you over to my place. 930 00:53:19,162 --> 00:53:23,041 I have an idea. Why don't you all come over to my place? 931 00:53:25,460 --> 00:53:27,379 Why didn't I think of that? 932 00:53:29,798 --> 00:53:31,633 Four scotches, one vodka... 933 00:53:31,717 --> 00:53:33,740 Harve, the least you could do is come out and say hello. 934 00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:36,013 I will not go out there and say hello. 935 00:53:36,096 --> 00:53:38,807 Look, I just told 'em we'd stop here on the way to Joan's place. 936 00:53:38,890 --> 00:53:40,976 Okay, so take 'em to Joan's place. 937 00:53:41,101 --> 00:53:43,895 Joan has no place! My place is her place. 938 00:53:43,979 --> 00:53:45,293 And I couldn't take 'em to my place, 939 00:53:45,313 --> 00:53:46,503 because your place is my place, 940 00:53:46,523 --> 00:53:48,984 and this gang knows my place, so I had to come to your place. 941 00:53:59,077 --> 00:54:01,997 I am seriously thinking of destroying myself. 942 00:54:02,539 --> 00:54:04,583 What will you do when I'm no longer here? 943 00:54:04,666 --> 00:54:06,314 Or will you move me out of that place, too? 944 00:54:06,334 --> 00:54:08,754 Harvey. Harvey, don't be bitter. 945 00:54:08,837 --> 00:54:11,339 You know it pains me to do these things. 946 00:54:11,423 --> 00:54:13,133 I told you to call the police days ago. 947 00:54:13,216 --> 00:54:14,593 I'm worried about my paintings. 948 00:54:14,676 --> 00:54:17,512 Well, stop worrying about 'em. I'll find 'em. 949 00:54:17,596 --> 00:54:19,286 You'll find them? Well, I... I didn't mean that. 950 00:54:19,306 --> 00:54:21,600 You see, they were temporarily removed for safety's sake. 951 00:54:21,683 --> 00:54:23,602 Yeah. Uh, they should be back any... Any, uh... 952 00:54:23,685 --> 00:54:26,063 What happened to my paintings, Tom? Nothing. 953 00:54:26,146 --> 00:54:27,272 Believe me, they're safe. 954 00:54:27,355 --> 00:54:29,107 She redid my apartment, then she took 955 00:54:29,191 --> 00:54:30,714 the paintings down 'cause they didn't fit. 956 00:54:30,734 --> 00:54:31,860 But as far as being lost... 957 00:54:31,943 --> 00:54:32,944 Where are my paintings? 958 00:54:33,028 --> 00:54:34,071 I don't know. 959 00:54:34,154 --> 00:54:36,782 You don't know? You don't have... 960 00:54:38,116 --> 00:54:40,077 Don't know? Don't know... 961 00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:42,871 If you... I'm telling you... You... You don't know my... 962 00:54:42,954 --> 00:54:44,978 Oh, hello. Young lady, would you please get off the phone? 963 00:54:44,998 --> 00:54:46,166 I've gotta call the police. 964 00:54:46,249 --> 00:54:48,418 Yes, get off the line. Thank you. I... What is that? 965 00:54:48,502 --> 00:54:50,108 No, I don't want to hear about your martinis, no. 966 00:54:50,128 --> 00:54:51,922 This is an emergency. 967 00:54:52,005 --> 00:54:54,758 Room service, I want the police. No, no, I don't want the... 968 00:54:54,841 --> 00:54:58,261 What? No, I... I don't want two Scotch and four champagnes! 969 00:54:58,345 --> 00:55:00,263 All I want is the police. Yes! 970 00:55:00,347 --> 00:55:03,183 Oh, she wants them. Well, why don't you send "em over... 971 00:55:03,266 --> 00:55:05,769 No, look, I want the police, now. Do you hear? Please get... 972 00:55:05,852 --> 00:55:08,188 Harvey, you put the police onto that girl 973 00:55:08,271 --> 00:55:10,941 and I'll have to put your wife onto those paintings. 974 00:55:11,024 --> 00:55:12,234 My friend Milford. 975 00:55:12,317 --> 00:55:14,069 My very best friend. 976 00:55:15,070 --> 00:55:16,655 Harve, go back to your apartment 977 00:55:16,738 --> 00:55:18,824 and, word of honor, I won't bug you again. 978 00:55:18,907 --> 00:55:21,368 Oh, all I want is a good night's sleep. 979 00:55:21,451 --> 00:55:24,267 My good night's sleep and my oil paintings. Now, is that asking too much? 980 00:55:24,287 --> 00:55:26,206 No. No, I think you're being very reasonable. 981 00:55:26,289 --> 00:55:28,208 I'll give you a hand. 982 00:55:29,376 --> 00:55:30,877 Here. 983 00:55:30,961 --> 00:55:32,337 Let me help you into your pants. 984 00:55:32,420 --> 00:55:34,214 I'll put on my own pants, thank you. 985 00:55:34,297 --> 00:55:36,279 Just trying to be of some help. I don't want your help. 986 00:55:36,299 --> 00:55:37,801 You've got the touch of disaster. 987 00:55:37,884 --> 00:55:39,302 You just stay away. That's all. 988 00:55:40,053 --> 00:55:41,388 My paintings. 989 00:55:42,764 --> 00:55:44,141 That's fantastic. 990 00:55:44,224 --> 00:55:46,059 Absolutely, completely fantastic. 991 00:55:46,143 --> 00:55:47,144 What is? 992 00:55:47,227 --> 00:55:49,104 You just handed me my trousers, right? 993 00:55:49,187 --> 00:55:51,064 That's all. I just handed 'em to you. 994 00:55:52,566 --> 00:55:54,317 The zipper's stuck. 995 00:55:58,905 --> 00:56:01,116 She's never been this late without calling. 996 00:56:01,199 --> 00:56:04,161 It's only 4:30. Why the sweat? She's no kid. 997 00:56:04,244 --> 00:56:08,165 Try information again. Baffle. B-A-F-F-L-E. Uh, 58th Street Towers. 998 00:56:08,248 --> 00:56:11,126 Information already said there is no phone for that name. 999 00:56:11,209 --> 00:56:13,044 Let's grab a cab and go over there. 1000 00:56:13,128 --> 00:56:15,589 Why are we running? We don't even know the apartment! 1001 00:56:15,672 --> 00:56:18,049 We know he has the penthouse, and that's enough. 1002 00:56:43,909 --> 00:56:45,243 All right, all right. 1003 00:56:46,494 --> 00:56:47,621 Ah, wait, wait! 1004 00:56:51,374 --> 00:56:54,878 So that's how it is, is it? You miserable, depraved beast! 1005 00:56:54,961 --> 00:56:57,339 Luth, take care of him while I get Joan. 1006 00:56:57,422 --> 00:56:59,090 What? 1007 00:56:59,174 --> 00:57:01,509 Wait a second! This doesn't look like the... 1008 00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:11,269 All you had to do was lift a phone at the hotel. 1009 00:57:11,353 --> 00:57:13,355 You can do that from any position. 1010 00:57:13,438 --> 00:57:15,941 We were having so much fun, who bothered to look at the clock? 1011 00:57:16,024 --> 00:57:19,319 Do you realize that we called every place in town, including the morgue? 1012 00:57:20,946 --> 00:57:22,447 By the way, 1013 00:57:22,530 --> 00:57:24,699 if Tom was with you, 1014 00:57:24,783 --> 00:57:26,952 who did Luther punch in the face? 1015 00:57:27,035 --> 00:57:28,787 Hmm. Must have been Tom's friend. 1016 00:57:28,870 --> 00:57:30,956 He went back to sleep at Tom's apartment. 1017 00:57:32,123 --> 00:57:33,917 Oh. Well, anyone who's stupid enough 1018 00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:35,961 to answer the door at 4:30 in the morning 1019 00:57:36,044 --> 00:57:37,921 deserves a punch in the face. 1020 00:57:38,004 --> 00:57:41,466 I... It's getting pretty serious between Tom and me. 1021 00:57:41,549 --> 00:57:44,052 Just these few days? 1022 00:57:44,135 --> 00:57:46,263 Takes me longer to break in a pair of shoes. 1023 00:57:48,181 --> 00:57:49,724 Boy, half a dozen times last night 1024 00:57:49,808 --> 00:57:51,184 I wanted to tell him the truth, 1025 00:57:51,268 --> 00:57:53,228 but I was afraid. 1026 00:57:53,311 --> 00:57:55,689 Well, just listen to Mother Audrey. 1027 00:57:55,772 --> 00:57:57,274 Don't. 1028 00:58:03,947 --> 00:58:06,324 Do you know how to roast a duck? 1029 00:58:06,408 --> 00:58:08,410 Me? Oh, that's pretty good. 1030 00:58:08,493 --> 00:58:11,121 Ask me if I could roast a cottage cheese, I might help you. 1031 00:58:11,204 --> 00:58:14,708 Well, Tom's favorite dish is duck I'orange, 1032 00:58:14,791 --> 00:58:16,793 so I invited him up for dinner. 1033 00:58:18,253 --> 00:58:19,963 Do you get pains in your head? 1034 00:58:20,046 --> 00:58:21,236 Well, I couldn't tell him I can't cook. 1035 00:58:21,256 --> 00:58:23,091 Why couldn't you tell him you can't cook? 1036 00:58:23,174 --> 00:58:26,761 All you have to say is, "I can't cook." That means, "I can't cook." 1037 00:58:26,886 --> 00:58:29,431 You keep getting in deeper and deeper and deeper. 1038 00:58:29,556 --> 00:58:31,683 But he comes up and sees this beautiful kitchen 1039 00:58:31,766 --> 00:58:33,435 with all this beautiful equipment... 1040 00:58:33,518 --> 00:58:35,437 But a duck! I mean, The best French chef 1041 00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:37,355 in town can't make a decent duck I'orange. 1042 00:58:37,439 --> 00:58:39,566 That's with brandy and oranges, the whole schmear. 1043 00:58:39,649 --> 00:58:42,569 Well, how am I going to learn if I don't try? 1044 00:58:42,652 --> 00:58:44,154 You know, you're not well, Joanie. 1045 00:58:44,237 --> 00:58:46,031 You're not at all well. 1046 00:58:46,990 --> 00:58:48,908 Well, I am gonna roast that duck. 1047 00:58:48,992 --> 00:58:50,327 Now, if you don't want to help... 1048 00:58:50,410 --> 00:58:52,120 All right, I'll help, I'll help. 1049 00:58:53,204 --> 00:58:55,707 But what's gonna happen to that duck 1050 00:58:55,832 --> 00:58:57,292 shouldn't happen to a dog. 1051 00:59:00,003 --> 00:59:02,380 Hmm. Mother and child. 1052 00:59:04,049 --> 00:59:05,133 Let me smell. 1053 00:59:05,216 --> 00:59:06,551 Mmm. Gravy smells good. 1054 00:59:06,634 --> 00:59:07,927 Mmm. 1055 00:59:08,011 --> 00:59:11,097 You think we oughta add a little more brandy and Cointreau? 1056 00:59:12,515 --> 00:59:15,226 Gosh, I don't know. We must have a quart in there already. 1057 00:59:15,310 --> 00:59:17,562 I mean, I'd hate to have him get drunk on a duck. 1058 00:59:17,645 --> 00:59:19,606 Mmm. Hey, you'd better get washed and polished. 1059 00:59:19,689 --> 00:59:21,566 He'll be here very soon. 1060 00:59:21,649 --> 00:59:23,234 What about this kitchen? 1061 00:59:23,318 --> 00:59:25,198 Don't worry. I'll manage, and then I'll cut out. 1062 00:59:25,236 --> 00:59:26,696 I'm sure you don't want me around. 1063 00:59:26,780 --> 00:59:29,157 Gee, thanks, Audrey. I appreciate that. 1064 00:59:44,589 --> 00:59:45,882 Ah. 1065 00:59:48,093 --> 00:59:51,304 Let's see. "Baste every 15 minutes." 1066 00:59:53,098 --> 00:59:55,100 "Keep oven at 275." 1067 00:59:56,142 --> 00:59:57,811 Mmm-hmm. 1068 00:59:59,270 --> 01:00:00,605 Mmm-hmm. 1069 01:00:01,689 --> 01:00:03,858 Oh! Oh! 1070 01:00:03,942 --> 01:00:06,027 Oh, Joan! Joan, Joan! Joan, the duck's on fire! 1071 01:00:07,278 --> 01:00:08,279 Joan, look! The duck! 1072 01:00:08,363 --> 01:00:10,782 Oh, don't just stand there! Do something! 1073 01:00:14,327 --> 01:00:15,829 Ooh! What? 1074 01:00:15,912 --> 01:00:16,913 Do you wanna ruin it? 1075 01:00:16,996 --> 01:00:17,997 My duck! 1076 01:00:18,081 --> 01:00:19,457 The fork! Get the serving fork! 1077 01:00:19,541 --> 01:00:22,043 Quick! Don't stand there! Move! Fork! 1078 01:00:22,127 --> 01:00:23,920 Oh... Here. My duck! 1079 01:00:24,003 --> 01:00:25,839 All right, don't panic. My beautiful duck! 1080 01:00:25,922 --> 01:00:27,841 All right... 1081 01:00:27,924 --> 01:00:30,051 The broom! Get the broom! Quick! 1082 01:00:30,135 --> 01:00:31,678 Oh! Oh! 1083 01:00:31,761 --> 01:00:32,804 Don't panic! Don't panic! 1084 01:00:32,887 --> 01:00:33,888 I'm not! I'm not! 1085 01:00:33,972 --> 01:00:35,974 Oh! Oh, I can't watch! 1086 01:00:36,057 --> 01:00:38,309 Oh, I can't watch! Oh, don't ruin it! 1087 01:00:38,393 --> 01:00:40,395 Oh! Oh! Oh, no! 1088 01:00:40,478 --> 01:00:42,689 Oh, you ruined my duck! 1089 01:00:48,153 --> 01:00:49,904 Yeah, and she'll be right over. 1090 01:00:49,988 --> 01:00:52,407 And please pack it well. 1091 01:00:52,490 --> 01:00:53,992 Thank you. 1092 01:00:54,075 --> 01:00:57,287 It's Andre's on 23rd Street. He'll have the duck all packed. 1093 01:00:57,370 --> 01:01:01,040 I'll clean up the slop and set the table before I leave. 1094 01:01:01,124 --> 01:01:03,751 Buck up. It was only a duck. 1095 01:01:04,919 --> 01:01:06,546 But she was so beautiful. 1096 01:01:08,173 --> 01:01:10,008 We all have to go some time. 1097 01:01:45,627 --> 01:01:47,295 No duck. 1098 01:02:14,447 --> 01:02:15,949 Whew. 1099 01:02:29,587 --> 01:02:30,922 Ah! 1100 01:02:48,856 --> 01:02:50,922 Hello, Mr. Milford. Anything to be cleaned or pressed? 1101 01:02:50,942 --> 01:02:52,131 No, Lennie. Thank you very much. 1102 01:02:52,151 --> 01:02:53,194 See you next week. 1103 01:02:53,278 --> 01:02:56,322 Hey, wait. Wait. Come to think of it, come inside. 1104 01:02:57,907 --> 01:03:01,327 You'd better take this suit because I've been living in it for a week. 1105 01:03:04,956 --> 01:03:07,834 Tomorrow okay? Yep. Tomorrow'll be fine. 1106 01:03:07,917 --> 01:03:11,087 No. Come to think of it, make it next week. 1107 01:03:13,339 --> 01:03:16,092 Better yet, I'll call for it myself. 1108 01:03:17,385 --> 01:03:19,345 Oh. Thanks, Mr. Milford. 1109 01:03:19,429 --> 01:03:21,931 That's all right. Bye, Lennie. 1110 01:03:39,449 --> 01:03:42,869 "Maid to order. This apartment serviced by Joan Howell." 1111 01:03:42,952 --> 01:03:45,163 Doesn't sound Japanese. 1112 01:03:45,246 --> 01:03:47,624 "Attention, maid, discontinue service..." 1113 01:03:52,086 --> 01:03:53,254 Joan is my maid! 1114 01:03:54,672 --> 01:03:55,715 Well, I'll be a... 1115 01:04:21,199 --> 01:04:22,742 Tom! 1116 01:04:50,061 --> 01:04:51,688 Tom? 1117 01:04:56,609 --> 01:04:58,111 Uh... 1118 01:04:58,194 --> 01:04:59,445 Tom! 1119 01:05:07,161 --> 01:05:08,871 Taxi! 1120 01:05:09,956 --> 01:05:13,042 I'm sorry. I don't carry your kind, Maxine! 1121 01:05:30,184 --> 01:05:31,728 Well, you've got your big, fat nerve. 1122 01:05:31,811 --> 01:05:33,980 Ma'am, I wonder if I could trouble you for a dime. 1123 01:05:34,063 --> 01:05:35,837 I wonder if I could trouble you to go soak your head! 1124 01:05:35,857 --> 01:05:38,005 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take the booth, but I have a problem. 1125 01:05:38,025 --> 01:05:39,132 Now, if I could have that dime... 1126 01:05:39,152 --> 01:05:41,612 Why don't you just take it? You've taken everything else. 1127 01:05:41,696 --> 01:05:43,614 Only the lowest, the meanest, the nastiest, 1128 01:05:43,698 --> 01:05:45,867 the cheapest kind of person would... 1129 01:05:46,909 --> 01:05:48,745 He took it. 1130 01:05:48,828 --> 01:05:50,872 He took my dime! 1131 01:05:51,164 --> 01:05:53,249 Hello, Sam? Sam, Tom Milford. 1132 01:05:53,332 --> 01:05:54,792 Yeah, listen, don't press my suit. 1133 01:05:54,876 --> 01:05:56,002 Just send it back. 1134 01:05:56,085 --> 01:05:57,545 No, no, don't unpress it. 1135 01:05:57,628 --> 01:05:59,505 Just send it back. And hurry. Okay. 1136 01:05:59,589 --> 01:06:01,466 Oh, Sam! Sam. I'm not at home. 1137 01:06:01,549 --> 01:06:03,384 I'm in a phone booth on 62nd Street, 1138 01:06:03,468 --> 01:06:05,428 right across the street from my place. Right. 1139 01:06:05,845 --> 01:06:10,266 He grabs my arm and bends my fingers back until I give him that dime. 1140 01:06:10,349 --> 01:06:12,393 Did ya ever! 1141 01:06:12,477 --> 01:06:15,188 It's the Russians. They're sprinklin' something around. 1142 01:06:15,271 --> 01:06:17,023 Makes everybody crazy. 1143 01:06:17,190 --> 01:06:19,066 Oh, and, Sam, Sam, one more thing. 1144 01:06:19,150 --> 01:06:22,695 I stole a dime from an old lady. Would you send that, too? 1145 01:06:22,779 --> 01:06:25,239 Why doesn't somebody call a cop? 1146 01:06:25,323 --> 01:06:28,117 What happened? That man stole that woman's dime! 1147 01:06:28,201 --> 01:06:30,661 Her diamond? No, no. Her dime. 1148 01:06:30,745 --> 01:06:31,829 Hey, what's going on here? 1149 01:06:31,913 --> 01:06:33,831 That man stole that woman's diamond. 1150 01:06:33,915 --> 01:06:36,083 If there was a red-blooded man around, 1151 01:06:36,167 --> 01:06:39,587 he'd go in that booth and teach that guy a lesson. 1152 01:06:39,670 --> 01:06:42,632 You got more blood than I got, lady. You go in. 1153 01:06:43,174 --> 01:06:45,176 Well, I never carry anything valuable with me. 1154 01:06:45,259 --> 01:06:47,678 I don't even carry green stamps with me. 1155 01:06:47,762 --> 01:06:49,806 All right, ladies, break it up. Break it up. 1156 01:06:49,889 --> 01:06:53,059 Officer, that fiend threw me bodily out of the phone booth 1157 01:06:53,142 --> 01:06:54,811 and took my dime! 1158 01:06:54,894 --> 01:06:57,688 I'm a witness, Officer. I saw every bit of it. 1159 01:06:57,772 --> 01:07:00,608 Where were you when she was screamin' for help? Yeah! 1160 01:07:00,691 --> 01:07:02,652 I was havin' my ears pierced. 1161 01:07:09,325 --> 01:07:12,286 Officer, would you mind waiting a moment? I haven't a thing to wear. 1162 01:07:12,370 --> 01:07:14,205 Outside. Yeah, but... 1163 01:07:14,288 --> 01:07:16,833 Outside. 1164 01:07:19,293 --> 01:07:21,963 Believe it or not, I was on my way to a duck dinner. 1165 01:07:22,046 --> 01:07:24,423 Oh, and I thought you were waiting for the 4:00 dog sled. 1166 01:07:24,507 --> 01:07:26,843 Well, I know it's unusual, but I can explain everything. 1167 01:07:26,926 --> 01:07:27,969 Sure! 1168 01:07:28,052 --> 01:07:31,430 You're Nanook of the North and I am Admiral Byrd. 1169 01:07:32,306 --> 01:07:33,474 You gotta believe me. 1170 01:07:33,558 --> 01:07:36,310 I'm a victim of circumstance, and I'm waiting for my suit. 1171 01:07:36,394 --> 01:07:39,689 Don't let him talk you out of it, Officer. He's some kind of a pre-vert. 1172 01:07:39,772 --> 01:07:42,066 I can handle this, lady. Let's take a walk. 1173 01:07:42,149 --> 01:07:44,735 Officer, you gotta believe me. I'm as sane as you are. 1174 01:07:44,819 --> 01:07:47,196 Sure you are. Saner. 1175 01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:50,116 I asked for this beat. Come on. 1176 01:07:50,825 --> 01:07:54,120 But what about my dime? Wait. Look. Look. Hold it. Hold it. 1177 01:07:54,203 --> 01:07:57,331 I told you I was just waiting for my suit. Lennie. Lennie. 1178 01:07:57,415 --> 01:07:59,250 This lady over here gets the dime, please. 1179 01:07:59,333 --> 01:08:00,793 Get in there and put it on. 1180 01:08:00,877 --> 01:08:02,378 And let me tell you something. 1181 01:08:02,461 --> 01:08:04,694 If I catch you causing any more disturbances around here, 1182 01:08:04,714 --> 01:08:07,258 I'm gonna throw you in the cookie jar and slap the lid on. 1183 01:08:07,341 --> 01:08:09,427 You understand? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 1184 01:08:11,596 --> 01:08:12,763 Officer! 1185 01:08:12,847 --> 01:08:13,973 All right, all right! 1186 01:08:14,056 --> 01:08:15,308 Break it up! 1187 01:08:15,391 --> 01:08:16,706 What's the matter? Ain't you never seen 1188 01:08:16,726 --> 01:08:18,853 a naked man in a phone booth before? 1189 01:08:18,936 --> 01:08:21,230 Break it up! Come on! Move on! 1190 01:08:23,190 --> 01:08:25,192 Well, I knew you'd been here 1191 01:08:25,276 --> 01:08:27,194 when I saw your wallet was left on the table. 1192 01:08:27,278 --> 01:08:28,738 Well, I thought I'd just dash out 1193 01:08:28,821 --> 01:08:30,615 and have my suit pressed while I was waiting. 1194 01:08:31,365 --> 01:08:33,534 Mmm. This duck is the greatest. 1195 01:08:34,368 --> 01:08:36,495 Why, it's better than Andre's. 1196 01:08:36,579 --> 01:08:38,289 Where'd you learn to cook so well? 1197 01:08:38,372 --> 01:08:40,666 Oh, there are tricks. 1198 01:08:40,750 --> 01:08:43,586 Say, uh, are you just as good at housekeeping? 1199 01:08:43,669 --> 01:08:46,005 Mmm. I'm even better. 1200 01:08:46,088 --> 01:08:49,091 Career girl, a cook, a housekeeper. 1201 01:08:49,175 --> 01:08:50,468 Wow. 1202 01:08:50,551 --> 01:08:53,137 Why, you're, uh... You're quite a catch. 1203 01:08:53,220 --> 01:08:56,057 It's going to take an awful lot of husband to keep up with you. 1204 01:08:56,140 --> 01:08:58,726 Or aren't you interested in getting married? 1205 01:08:58,809 --> 01:09:00,561 Now, what girl isn't? 1206 01:09:00,645 --> 01:09:02,521 Have you got anybody in mind? 1207 01:09:02,605 --> 01:09:04,398 Mmm-mmm. Not yet. 1208 01:09:04,941 --> 01:09:06,130 Well, what's he got to be like? 1209 01:09:06,150 --> 01:09:07,234 Oh, I'm wide open. 1210 01:09:07,318 --> 01:09:11,280 Preferably, uh, rich, handsome, uh, personable? 1211 01:09:11,364 --> 01:09:15,409 Well, you aim for the moon and settle for the best. 1212 01:09:15,910 --> 01:09:17,787 Well, you should have no trouble at all. 1213 01:09:17,870 --> 01:09:20,122 I mean, you're pretty, 1214 01:09:20,206 --> 01:09:22,375 uh, gifted, 1215 01:09:22,458 --> 01:09:24,377 you've got a lovely apartment. 1216 01:09:24,460 --> 01:09:27,088 Excuse me. 1217 01:09:27,171 --> 01:09:29,215 In fact, you've got a lot of things going for you. 1218 01:09:31,217 --> 01:09:35,721 Uh, well, uh, what are you looking for in a girl? 1219 01:09:36,055 --> 01:09:39,016 Well, I want everything to be in the right place, of course. 1220 01:09:39,100 --> 01:09:40,685 But there's one quality above all 1221 01:09:40,768 --> 01:09:43,437 that, well, to me is just a must. 1222 01:09:43,521 --> 01:09:44,814 Honesty. 1223 01:09:47,608 --> 01:09:49,808 You see, I believe if a girl is beautiful on the inside, 1224 01:09:49,860 --> 01:09:52,279 she can't help but be beautiful on the outside. 1225 01:09:52,363 --> 01:09:54,198 It's simple as that. 1226 01:09:54,490 --> 01:09:56,617 Um... 1227 01:09:56,701 --> 01:09:58,577 Well, uh, 1228 01:09:58,661 --> 01:10:01,372 I... I expect to be leaving here soon. 1229 01:10:02,248 --> 01:10:04,000 Oh? 1230 01:10:04,083 --> 01:10:05,167 Where? 1231 01:10:06,252 --> 01:10:08,004 Well, I'm... I'm not sure. 1232 01:10:09,130 --> 01:10:10,410 You will let me know, won't you? 1233 01:10:12,591 --> 01:10:13,634 Do you want to know? 1234 01:10:14,635 --> 01:10:15,636 I want to know. 1235 01:10:17,221 --> 01:10:19,557 Oh, the... Wine. 1236 01:10:30,192 --> 01:10:33,112 There I am, on 62nd Street in my underwear, 1237 01:10:33,195 --> 01:10:35,156 and I can't even raise a dime. 1238 01:10:36,157 --> 01:10:37,491 What'd she do with your suits? 1239 01:10:37,575 --> 01:10:39,452 I have no idea. 1240 01:10:39,535 --> 01:10:40,828 She probably sold 'em. 1241 01:10:40,911 --> 01:10:42,413 Nah. She's not a thief. 1242 01:10:42,496 --> 01:10:44,457 She's not a compulsive liar either. 1243 01:10:44,540 --> 01:10:46,709 She's just a... Just a bush leaguer, 1244 01:10:46,792 --> 01:10:48,294 trying to make a big impression. 1245 01:10:48,377 --> 01:10:52,214 She saw an opportunity to live it up for 10 days, she grabbed it. 1246 01:10:52,298 --> 01:10:54,633 Hmm. Uh, when are you due back from the coast? 1247 01:10:54,717 --> 01:10:55,926 Day after tomorrow. 1248 01:10:56,010 --> 01:10:58,137 Good. Maybe things can get back to normal around here. 1249 01:10:58,220 --> 01:11:00,681 There's an awful lot of work piled up on your desk. 1250 01:11:01,682 --> 01:11:04,602 Harve, I was thinking of, uh, 1251 01:11:04,685 --> 01:11:06,812 delaying my return for a few days. 1252 01:11:06,896 --> 01:11:08,898 Oh, no, you're not. 1253 01:11:08,981 --> 01:11:11,901 What concern is it of yours? I mean, it's my affair. 1254 01:11:11,984 --> 01:11:15,279 Your affairs have a remarkable way of becoming my affairs. 1255 01:11:15,362 --> 01:11:16,489 Now, I've had it, Tom. 1256 01:11:16,572 --> 01:11:19,325 People waking me at 5:00 in the morning to take a punch at me. 1257 01:11:19,450 --> 01:11:22,328 Moving around all hours of the night like a wandering nomad. 1258 01:11:22,411 --> 01:11:24,872 Look, if the girl moves, I'll never see her again. 1259 01:11:25,081 --> 01:11:28,125 And, uh, I want to see her again. 1260 01:11:28,209 --> 01:11:29,899 Now, what in the world do you want with a dame 1261 01:11:29,919 --> 01:11:31,837 who's deceived you from the moment she met you? 1262 01:11:31,921 --> 01:11:34,090 I like her. It's just that simple. Yeah. 1263 01:11:34,173 --> 01:11:36,333 You can pick up that phone and call any one of 50 girls 1264 01:11:36,383 --> 01:11:38,063 who are a darn sight better than this one. 1265 01:11:38,719 --> 01:11:40,719 You are hardly an expert at picking the right girl. 1266 01:11:42,223 --> 01:11:45,392 You can stand there, you with no home and no clothes, 1267 01:11:45,476 --> 01:11:47,196 and tell me that this one is the right one? 1268 01:11:47,269 --> 01:11:48,395 Ah! 1269 01:11:49,855 --> 01:11:52,108 Well, right or wrong, I just don't want to lose her. 1270 01:11:52,191 --> 01:11:54,568 Now, have the California office send a telegram in my name 1271 01:11:54,652 --> 01:11:55,966 saying I'll be delayed for a week. 1272 01:11:55,986 --> 01:11:57,404 That's all I'm asking. 1273 01:11:57,488 --> 01:11:59,073 Now, I'm warning you, Tom. 1274 01:11:59,156 --> 01:12:01,951 You've stretched our friendship just about as far as it'll go. 1275 01:12:02,034 --> 01:12:03,536 I'm running a business here. 1276 01:12:03,619 --> 01:12:05,538 Either get with it or get out. 1277 01:12:08,666 --> 01:12:10,751 All right, Harve. You win. 1278 01:12:11,001 --> 01:12:13,379 I know you have my best interests at heart, so, uh... 1279 01:12:13,462 --> 01:12:17,758 So I'll forget about the girl and just let her disappear out of my life. 1280 01:12:17,967 --> 01:12:20,469 And I'll, uh, drown myself in my work. 1281 01:12:21,345 --> 01:12:22,680 You're too agreeable. 1282 01:12:24,098 --> 01:12:27,059 Harvey, from now on, I promise, I am just a company man. 1283 01:12:27,143 --> 01:12:29,645 You're planning something sneaky to get even with me. 1284 01:12:29,728 --> 01:12:31,502 You're gonna call Leona and tell her about the paintings. 1285 01:12:31,522 --> 01:12:32,602 What's the matter with you? 1286 01:12:32,648 --> 01:12:34,296 You're gonna write her lawyers an anonymous letter 1287 01:12:34,316 --> 01:12:36,277 telling them about my securities and the boat. 1288 01:12:36,360 --> 01:12:38,259 You hurt me when you accuse me of things like that. 1289 01:12:38,279 --> 01:12:39,822 You're in love with that girl. 1290 01:12:39,905 --> 01:12:42,408 And a person in love is a person insane. 1291 01:12:42,491 --> 01:12:44,368 I'm not insane. Oh, no? 1292 01:12:44,451 --> 01:12:45,558 What other kind of mind would dream up 1293 01:12:45,578 --> 01:12:47,413 a double-crossing plot like this? 1294 01:12:55,588 --> 01:12:58,966 What are you so clouded up about? Lovers' quarrel? 1295 01:12:59,049 --> 01:13:01,552 We were never lovers, and we didn't quarrel. 1296 01:13:01,635 --> 01:13:03,429 What about the banjo? 1297 01:13:03,512 --> 01:13:06,140 I'll take it back to the pawn shop with me. 1298 01:13:06,223 --> 01:13:08,350 Give the ticket to Luther. He'll get the suits. 1299 01:13:08,434 --> 01:13:10,519 He'll also get a good hit in the head. 1300 01:13:10,644 --> 01:13:11,729 Why? 1301 01:13:11,812 --> 01:13:13,892 "Cause O'Shea'll think you're the father of my child. 1302 01:13:14,356 --> 01:13:16,942 I haven't been near enough to her to give her a cold. 1303 01:13:17,026 --> 01:13:20,613 You know, you were right about men not liking liars. 1304 01:13:21,780 --> 01:13:23,115 He said something. 1305 01:13:23,699 --> 01:13:24,992 How did he happen to mention it? 1306 01:13:25,075 --> 01:13:26,952 Came out somehow. 1307 01:13:28,037 --> 01:13:31,582 Maybe it's just as well it ends right now. 1308 01:13:40,132 --> 01:13:42,593 Thirty, 40, 50, 1309 01:13:42,676 --> 01:13:45,638 60, 70, 80, 90, 1310 01:13:45,721 --> 01:13:47,097 100. 1311 01:13:47,181 --> 01:13:48,349 What are the charges? 1312 01:13:48,432 --> 01:13:49,516 No. No charge. 1313 01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:50,768 Glad to be of help. 1314 01:13:50,851 --> 01:13:52,269 Well, thank you, Mr. O'Shea. 1315 01:13:52,353 --> 01:13:54,396 And if I might make a suggestion, 1316 01:13:54,480 --> 01:13:56,273 now that he's back, you run him down 1317 01:13:56,357 --> 01:13:58,442 to city hall and get a license. 1318 01:13:58,525 --> 01:14:01,195 Mr. O'Shea, there's something I must tell you. 1319 01:14:01,278 --> 01:14:04,031 Oh, tell me nothing. The child's got to have a name. 1320 01:14:05,115 --> 01:14:07,660 I am not going to have a child. 1321 01:14:09,119 --> 01:14:11,205 Well, don't tell him till after the wedding. 1322 01:14:11,288 --> 01:14:14,208 You get the certificate. It's a permanent credit card. 1323 01:14:14,291 --> 01:14:16,502 You listen to O'Shea. 1324 01:14:20,297 --> 01:14:21,362 This came right after you left. 1325 01:14:21,382 --> 01:14:22,466 Oh. 1326 01:14:28,931 --> 01:14:33,644 "Attention, maid. Return delayed one week. Milford." 1327 01:14:43,696 --> 01:14:44,822 She loves the guy. 1328 01:14:44,905 --> 01:14:46,365 Love, schmove. 1329 01:14:46,448 --> 01:14:48,158 One more skin on the onion. 1330 01:15:25,529 --> 01:15:27,323 Hello? 1331 01:15:27,406 --> 01:15:28,949 Oh, hello, Tom. 1332 01:15:29,033 --> 01:15:31,493 Uh, no. I just stepped out for a minute. 1333 01:15:32,828 --> 01:15:37,124 Um, Tom, I was wondering if we should be seeing each other again. 1334 01:15:39,043 --> 01:15:41,503 Well, there are many reasons. 1335 01:15:42,296 --> 01:15:43,422 Oh, no, no. 1336 01:15:43,505 --> 01:15:46,467 You've been very nice and I've enjoyed being with you. 1337 01:15:47,801 --> 01:15:51,096 Oh, I do. I do. 1338 01:15:52,556 --> 01:15:55,434 Yeah. No. 1339 01:16:00,898 --> 01:16:02,483 Oh, Tom. 1340 01:16:03,901 --> 01:16:08,030 Oh, you mean he shuttled in and shuttled out again? 1341 01:16:08,113 --> 01:16:10,491 Must we go through all the details, Mr. O'Shea? 1342 01:16:10,574 --> 01:16:13,660 Well, you can't have him running in and out like the tides. 1343 01:16:13,744 --> 01:16:16,914 You'll wear yourself out carrying the suits. 1344 01:16:16,997 --> 01:16:18,791 Look, I'm in a hurry. Never mind the money. 1345 01:16:18,874 --> 01:16:20,626 Just hold the suits for me, huh? 1346 01:16:20,709 --> 01:16:22,461 Do you love the man? 1347 01:16:23,921 --> 01:16:26,423 Mr. O'Shea, there is no man. 1348 01:16:26,507 --> 01:16:28,175 I see. 1349 01:16:28,258 --> 01:16:30,094 You want to forget him. 1350 01:16:30,177 --> 01:16:33,013 Good riddance it is. So now I can tell you. 1351 01:16:33,097 --> 01:16:34,390 Goodbye, Mr. O'Shea. 1352 01:16:34,473 --> 01:16:35,516 There's another woman. 1353 01:16:40,521 --> 01:16:42,356 What'd you say? 1354 01:16:42,439 --> 01:16:45,442 I found this in one of the pockets the first time you came in. 1355 01:16:45,526 --> 01:16:49,321 I didn't want to upset you, so I slipped it to one side. 1356 01:16:50,531 --> 01:16:52,449 Why, that's Tom. 1357 01:16:55,327 --> 01:16:57,454 That's Tom! 1358 01:16:57,538 --> 01:16:59,039 That's Tom Milford! 1359 01:16:59,123 --> 01:17:01,208 Oh, no. Oh, no! 1360 01:17:02,042 --> 01:17:05,045 Oh, I just want to die. 1361 01:17:05,129 --> 01:17:07,464 Oh, I am so embarrassed. 1362 01:17:07,548 --> 01:17:10,509 I just want to die! 1363 01:17:10,717 --> 01:17:14,555 Well, why didn't the bum say something? Why did he string you along? 1364 01:17:14,680 --> 01:17:16,245 As far as I know, all that changed hands 1365 01:17:16,265 --> 01:17:18,725 was some quinine water and a roast duck. 1366 01:17:18,809 --> 01:17:21,019 Because he wanted me to look like 1367 01:17:21,103 --> 01:17:23,188 the biggest idiot that ever came out of the west. 1368 01:17:23,272 --> 01:17:26,358 Or the north, south and east. And Canada. 1369 01:17:26,442 --> 01:17:28,026 Well... 1370 01:17:28,110 --> 01:17:29,361 It's that time again. 1371 01:17:29,445 --> 01:17:31,447 If he had one shred of decency, 1372 01:17:31,530 --> 01:17:33,198 he would have never led me on. 1373 01:17:33,282 --> 01:17:35,033 Any gentleman would have spoken up 1374 01:17:35,117 --> 01:17:37,494 the minute I brought him back to his apartment. 1375 01:17:37,578 --> 01:17:41,165 Only a lying, sneaky, deceitful snake would do that to a girl. 1376 01:17:41,290 --> 01:17:42,291 Yeah, how about that? 1377 01:17:42,374 --> 01:17:45,377 When all you did was steal his apartment and hock all his clothes. 1378 01:17:45,461 --> 01:17:46,795 Why didn't he stop me? 1379 01:17:46,879 --> 01:17:48,338 Why did you start it? 1380 01:17:48,422 --> 01:17:49,673 Don't change the subject. 1381 01:17:49,756 --> 01:17:52,342 Give me a hand with these slipcovers, will ya? 1382 01:17:52,426 --> 01:17:54,678 He is not gonna get away with it. Do you understand me? 1383 01:17:54,761 --> 01:17:56,305 He is not gonna get away with it! 1384 01:17:56,388 --> 01:17:58,474 Joanie, sit down, hmm? 1385 01:18:00,017 --> 01:18:03,395 Do you know that you could get six months for this? 1386 01:18:03,479 --> 01:18:05,355 Jail. Pokey-pie. 1387 01:18:05,439 --> 01:18:08,317 You should be grateful that he didn't blow a whistle. 1388 01:18:08,400 --> 01:18:10,194 Oh, he wouldn't dare. 1389 01:18:10,277 --> 01:18:11,403 He wouldn't dare, 1390 01:18:11,487 --> 01:18:14,615 because I can prove that he led me on for immoral purposes. 1391 01:18:15,574 --> 01:18:18,410 Now, Joanie, you didn't tell me about that. 1392 01:18:18,494 --> 01:18:19,995 When did it happen? 1393 01:18:20,078 --> 01:18:22,498 It didn't. But he was getting around to it. 1394 01:18:22,623 --> 01:18:24,082 Are you gonna help me or not? 1395 01:18:24,166 --> 01:18:25,834 I am not leaving this apartment. 1396 01:18:25,918 --> 01:18:29,046 He humiliated me, and he is not gonna get away with it. 1397 01:18:29,129 --> 01:18:30,631 Don't forget, I'm from Iowa. 1398 01:18:30,714 --> 01:18:32,514 What has that got to do with it? I don't know. 1399 01:18:32,549 --> 01:18:36,053 But he is gonna rue the day that he ever toyed with Joan Milford. 1400 01:18:36,136 --> 01:18:37,846 Your name is Howell. Remember? 1401 01:18:37,930 --> 01:18:39,223 How you gonna get him to rue? 1402 01:18:39,306 --> 01:18:40,307 I'll think of something. 1403 01:18:40,390 --> 01:18:42,414 Oh, then you're gonna keep your date with him tonight. 1404 01:18:42,434 --> 01:18:44,353 Oh! I can't wait. 1405 01:18:44,436 --> 01:18:49,233 He may just give me the clue on the best way to rue. 1406 01:18:54,238 --> 01:18:55,697 Oh, it hardly seems possible 1407 01:18:55,781 --> 01:18:58,450 that we've known each other less than two weeks. 1408 01:18:58,534 --> 01:19:00,911 I feel like I've known you forever. 1409 01:19:00,994 --> 01:19:04,498 And yet, you know, we really know very little about one another. 1410 01:19:04,581 --> 01:19:07,084 Well, what more do you have to know? 1411 01:19:07,167 --> 01:19:10,295 Oh, things like your ideas and such. 1412 01:19:10,379 --> 01:19:12,339 At 2:30 in the morning? 1413 01:19:12,422 --> 01:19:15,133 That's a heck of a time to exchange ideas. 1414 01:19:15,217 --> 01:19:16,552 Well, you know, you once told me 1415 01:19:16,635 --> 01:19:20,347 that the most important quality in a woman was honesty. 1416 01:19:20,430 --> 01:19:22,766 What do you think the most important quality in a man is? 1417 01:19:22,849 --> 01:19:24,810 Same thing. Honesty. 1418 01:19:24,893 --> 01:19:26,228 Honesty in anybody. 1419 01:19:26,311 --> 01:19:29,898 And do your friends consider you an honest man? 1420 01:19:29,982 --> 01:19:31,275 I like to think so. 1421 01:19:32,359 --> 01:19:34,570 You must have such exciting friends. 1422 01:19:34,653 --> 01:19:36,196 Especially among the women. 1423 01:19:36,280 --> 01:19:38,490 No, I... I'm actually a lonely man. 1424 01:19:40,284 --> 01:19:42,160 You see, my real love is my work. 1425 01:19:42,244 --> 01:19:44,871 Now, splashes of colors or beautiful fabrics 1426 01:19:44,955 --> 01:19:46,498 or a well-turned piece of wood, 1427 01:19:46,582 --> 01:19:49,209 now those are the things that can thrill me. 1428 01:19:49,459 --> 01:19:51,670 I'm, uh, really quite an artist. 1429 01:19:53,463 --> 01:19:56,008 Yes, you certainly are quite an artist. 1430 01:19:56,091 --> 01:20:00,012 But, you know, you should have more friends. 1431 01:20:00,095 --> 01:20:01,805 I have you. What more do I need? 1432 01:20:01,888 --> 01:20:04,516 What do you say I have a party for you? 1433 01:20:04,600 --> 01:20:06,977 But we have each other. That's plenty, isn't it? 1434 01:20:07,060 --> 01:20:09,479 Oh, but, Tom, I'm not really very exciting, 1435 01:20:09,563 --> 01:20:12,441 and I can introduce you to a lot of interesting people. 1436 01:20:12,524 --> 01:20:15,402 Mmm. I... I'm very uncomfortable around people. 1437 01:20:15,485 --> 01:20:18,196 Well, Tom, my mind's made up. 1438 01:20:18,280 --> 01:20:20,616 I'm going to invite a few friends over Friday night. 1439 01:20:20,699 --> 01:20:22,576 And we can have a few drinks and dance 1440 01:20:22,659 --> 01:20:24,453 and I'll get some sandwiches in. 1441 01:20:24,536 --> 01:20:27,372 Why, I bet you the change would do you good. 1442 01:20:27,456 --> 01:20:29,333 Well, if it'll please you, then I'm for it. 1443 01:20:29,416 --> 01:20:30,417 Yes. 1444 01:20:32,502 --> 01:20:35,088 It's getting late now, Tom. You'd better go. 1445 01:20:35,172 --> 01:20:36,715 Okay. 1446 01:20:41,053 --> 01:20:43,055 Night. Night. 1447 01:20:56,610 --> 01:20:58,779 Hello. Is Agnes there? 1448 01:20:59,905 --> 01:21:03,200 Oh, hello, Agnes. This is Mr. Milford's secretary. 1449 01:21:03,283 --> 01:21:06,370 We're having a little party Friday night at Mr. Milford's place. 1450 01:21:06,453 --> 01:21:08,455 A "Streets of Paris" party. 1451 01:21:08,538 --> 01:21:10,791 And all the girls are coming dressed 1452 01:21:10,874 --> 01:21:13,085 as their favorite women of the boulevards. 1453 01:21:16,421 --> 01:21:20,175 Oh, fine. And, Agnes, uh, please, it's a surprise party. 1454 01:21:20,258 --> 01:21:22,469 So don't call Tom back. 1455 01:21:22,552 --> 01:21:24,805 Al righty. 1456 01:21:24,888 --> 01:21:26,598 Goodbye, Agnes. 1457 01:21:26,682 --> 01:21:29,768 Uh, what are you trying to do, Joan? 1458 01:21:29,851 --> 01:21:32,312 This is national rue week. Remember? 1459 01:21:32,396 --> 01:21:34,398 Yeah, but what point are you trying to make? 1460 01:21:34,940 --> 01:21:38,110 This is a man who demands honesty in his women. 1461 01:21:38,193 --> 01:21:41,655 Well, I just want to show him that it's a pretty good virtue in men, too. 1462 01:21:42,155 --> 01:21:45,033 Huh! "I'm so alone, Joan. 1463 01:21:45,117 --> 01:21:48,453 "I'm so uncomfortable around women." 1464 01:21:48,537 --> 01:21:50,831 I don't know. You're going to an awful lot of trouble 1465 01:21:50,914 --> 01:21:52,457 for a guy you're supposed to hate. 1466 01:21:56,920 --> 01:21:58,088 You want a lift home? 1467 01:21:58,171 --> 01:22:01,258 No, Harve, thank you. I'm gonna hang around and do a little thinking. 1468 01:22:01,341 --> 01:22:02,381 Good afternoon, gentlemen. 1469 01:22:02,426 --> 01:22:04,302 Good afternoon, Bert. Have a nice weekend. 1470 01:22:04,386 --> 01:22:05,887 Bye. 1471 01:22:05,971 --> 01:22:07,848 What do you wanna think about? 1472 01:22:07,931 --> 01:22:09,391 Joan. 1473 01:22:09,474 --> 01:22:11,393 Suddenly, she's very important to me. 1474 01:22:11,476 --> 01:22:13,270 I'm awfully fond of that girl. 1475 01:22:13,353 --> 01:22:16,231 I don't dig it. You know she's been one long lie. 1476 01:22:16,356 --> 01:22:19,526 No. Her only crime has been trying to impress me. 1477 01:22:20,610 --> 01:22:22,028 No matter how you rationalize, 1478 01:22:22,112 --> 01:22:24,072 she's trespassing on someone else's property. 1479 01:22:24,156 --> 01:22:25,615 That's morally and legally wrong. 1480 01:22:27,367 --> 01:22:29,870 Well, what about a man who conceals assets 1481 01:22:29,953 --> 01:22:32,706 that, morally and legally, are not completely his, 1482 01:22:32,789 --> 01:22:35,417 such as a nice collection of oil paintings? 1483 01:22:35,500 --> 01:22:36,752 Well, uh... 1484 01:22:37,419 --> 01:22:39,838 She's throwing a little party for me tonight. 1485 01:22:41,089 --> 01:22:44,050 I told her I didn't have many friends, that I was kind of a hermit. 1486 01:22:44,176 --> 01:22:46,219 Oh, that must have been a very touching scene. 1487 01:22:46,762 --> 01:22:49,097 Harvey, I feel like a heel. 1488 01:22:49,890 --> 01:22:51,933 For two weeks now I've been spiking her drinks, 1489 01:22:52,058 --> 01:22:55,562 playing on her sympathies, lurking around just waiting to take advantage. 1490 01:22:57,230 --> 01:22:58,879 Would you want somebody to do that to your sister? 1491 01:22:58,899 --> 01:23:01,860 I sure would. My sister's single and pushing 40. 1492 01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:04,279 I'm gonna go to the party and grab her aside, 1493 01:23:04,362 --> 01:23:06,261 tell her who I am and forgive her for what she's done. 1494 01:23:06,281 --> 01:23:09,493 I don't care what you do. Just come back with my paintings. 1495 01:23:10,994 --> 01:23:12,788 Hey, Harve, why don't you come along with me 1496 01:23:12,871 --> 01:23:15,207 and pick up the paintings yourself? 1497 01:23:15,290 --> 01:23:18,190 I mean, after all, you've been involved in this whole thing from the beginning. 1498 01:23:18,210 --> 01:23:19,878 Could be a lot of laughs. 1499 01:23:19,961 --> 01:23:21,463 Could just be a lot of laughs. 1500 01:24:15,892 --> 01:24:17,519 Must be old home week. 1501 01:24:40,250 --> 01:24:43,378 I don't get it. What kind of a party is this without men? 1502 01:24:43,461 --> 01:24:45,130 Be patient. You know Tom. 1503 01:24:45,213 --> 01:24:46,965 He's always full of surprises. 1504 01:24:47,048 --> 01:24:48,675 He never surprised me. 1505 01:24:49,926 --> 01:24:51,887 Look at the one at the table, 1506 01:24:51,970 --> 01:24:54,472 the one stuffing her face with the tuna fish sandwiches. 1507 01:24:59,519 --> 01:25:01,813 That's gotta be Ginny Frazell. 1508 01:25:01,897 --> 01:25:04,149 Slow starter, but great in the stretch. 1509 01:25:05,317 --> 01:25:07,277 That's right, Chief. Dozens of 'em. 1510 01:25:07,903 --> 01:25:09,362 I can't figure it either, 1511 01:25:09,446 --> 01:25:12,324 unless the seventh fleet's steaming down Madison Avenue. 1512 01:25:20,957 --> 01:25:23,335 What are you gonna do when your man finally shows up? 1513 01:25:23,418 --> 01:25:26,338 I don't have to do anything. I just want him to see me. 1514 01:25:26,421 --> 01:25:27,797 He'll get the message. 1515 01:25:27,881 --> 01:25:30,425 Chief, I counted 50. 1516 01:25:30,508 --> 01:25:33,219 Must be a national convention. 1517 01:25:33,303 --> 01:25:35,305 Just a second. 1518 01:25:35,388 --> 01:25:37,557 Two male individuals just arrived. 1519 01:25:38,516 --> 01:25:40,018 I can't see their faces. 1520 01:25:43,980 --> 01:25:46,441 But they ain't here to read the gas meters. 1521 01:25:46,524 --> 01:25:48,360 Yeah. Yeah. 1522 01:25:48,443 --> 01:25:50,695 Better charter a bus. 1523 01:25:51,029 --> 01:25:53,281 Looks like they're all here. 1524 01:25:53,365 --> 01:25:56,785 I wish he'd hurry. I'm getting worried. 1525 01:25:56,868 --> 01:25:58,745 What are you worried about? 1526 01:25:58,828 --> 01:26:00,205 I don't know. 1527 01:26:00,330 --> 01:26:04,876 But with all this talent and no place to put it, something's gotta give. 1528 01:26:04,960 --> 01:26:06,252 That's funny. 1529 01:26:06,336 --> 01:26:09,130 I could have sworn she said just a few friends. 1530 01:26:09,214 --> 01:26:11,174 Sounds like a few dozen to me. 1531 01:26:11,257 --> 01:26:12,822 That's what I mean about this girl, Harve. 1532 01:26:12,842 --> 01:26:14,803 She's so concerned for my welfare. 1533 01:26:14,928 --> 01:26:17,639 Imagine going to all this trouble and expense. 1534 01:26:17,764 --> 01:26:19,975 I just hope there's some way I can repay her. 1535 01:26:20,058 --> 01:26:21,643 Well... 1536 01:26:24,604 --> 01:26:26,898 Hi! 1537 01:26:29,067 --> 01:26:32,153 Hey, where are the other fellas? There's only two of you! 1538 01:26:33,154 --> 01:26:35,490 Hi! Come on in! 1539 01:26:37,200 --> 01:26:39,680 Oh, I'll grab the paintings, and I'll meet you down in the car. 1540 01:26:50,755 --> 01:26:52,173 What is this? 1541 01:26:52,257 --> 01:26:54,300 Welcome to your party, Mr. Milford. 1542 01:26:55,510 --> 01:26:58,930 I just thought you might enjoy being surrounded by the, uh... 1543 01:26:59,014 --> 01:27:01,307 Things you love best. 1544 01:27:01,391 --> 01:27:04,185 Joan, I swear I was on my way to clear up this whole mess. 1545 01:27:04,269 --> 01:27:05,770 You're a little bit late. 1546 01:27:05,854 --> 01:27:07,856 Well, what's a guy supposed to do? 1547 01:27:07,939 --> 01:27:10,150 A girl takes me to my own apartment, tells me it's hers. 1548 01:27:10,233 --> 01:27:12,152 I couldn't get over the shock for a week! 1549 01:27:12,235 --> 01:27:15,238 That still leaves one week unaccounted for! 1550 01:27:15,321 --> 01:27:18,283 You deliberately led me on to humiliate me, and you have. 1551 01:27:18,366 --> 01:27:20,201 Goodbye. Now listen. 1552 01:27:20,285 --> 01:27:22,203 Step aside, please. 1553 01:27:23,621 --> 01:27:25,290 Could we be alone, please? 1554 01:27:25,373 --> 01:27:27,917 Oh, sure. What did you have in mind? 1555 01:27:28,710 --> 01:27:30,545 I meant Joan. 1556 01:27:30,628 --> 01:27:32,005 You stay right here, Audrey. 1557 01:27:33,381 --> 01:27:37,552 As far as being offended, I have as much right to be offended as you do. 1558 01:27:37,635 --> 01:27:41,222 I knew what I was doing was wrong, but my motives were good. 1559 01:27:41,306 --> 01:27:44,184 I met a man I liked and I wanted to impress him. 1560 01:27:44,267 --> 01:27:46,352 But you lied to me for your own evil purposes. 1561 01:27:47,562 --> 01:27:49,105 If I say I love you... 1562 01:27:51,816 --> 01:27:54,944 I suggest you scratch this horse, Mr. Milford. 1563 01:27:55,028 --> 01:27:56,821 It's shy, nervous 1564 01:27:56,905 --> 01:27:59,115 and refuses to enter the starting gate. 1565 01:27:59,199 --> 01:28:00,909 Now, you're talking about lies. 1566 01:28:00,992 --> 01:28:03,203 How about your lies to me? 1567 01:28:03,286 --> 01:28:05,997 Didn't you tell me you were a very good cook? Huh? 1568 01:28:06,081 --> 01:28:08,063 Well, you know darn well you didn't cook that duck dinner. 1569 01:28:08,083 --> 01:28:09,250 I tried! 1570 01:28:09,334 --> 01:28:11,649 You take a duck, you put it in the oven, you turn the oven on... 1571 01:28:11,669 --> 01:28:13,588 Can you hear what he's sayin'? 1572 01:28:13,671 --> 01:28:16,883 He sounds disappointed because she didn't make him a duck dinner. 1573 01:28:16,966 --> 01:28:18,239 The whole thing burned up. 1574 01:28:18,259 --> 01:28:20,325 Drop a cigarette in it? I've got ashtrays in my apartment. 1575 01:28:20,345 --> 01:28:23,181 What about the other one that's playing cards on the bed? 1576 01:28:23,264 --> 01:28:24,390 You didn't cook it! 1577 01:28:24,557 --> 01:28:25,725 I didn't cook it! 1578 01:28:25,809 --> 01:28:27,519 I'm still workin' on the duck dinner. 1579 01:28:27,602 --> 01:28:29,876 You got a duck that tasted that good from a delicatessen? 1580 01:28:29,896 --> 01:28:31,127 I have to leave! 1581 01:28:31,147 --> 01:28:32,398 Where are you taking them? 1582 01:28:34,025 --> 01:28:36,277 You can't... Oh, you can't leave, Harve! 1583 01:28:36,361 --> 01:28:37,570 But I've got an appointment. 1584 01:28:37,654 --> 01:28:38,780 You don't have to leave us! 1585 01:28:38,863 --> 01:28:40,824 Yes, I... You don't have to. 1586 01:28:40,907 --> 01:28:42,075 Yes, I have to go. 1587 01:28:42,158 --> 01:28:43,243 Where you going? 1588 01:28:50,750 --> 01:28:52,752 Uh, where you going, sir? Home. 1589 01:28:52,836 --> 01:28:55,088 We have just one stop to make first. Into the wagon. 1590 01:28:55,171 --> 01:28:56,548 What? In the wagon. 1591 01:28:56,631 --> 01:28:58,550 But I don't know anything about those people. 1592 01:28:58,633 --> 01:29:00,240 Now, you see, I'm a responsible businessman. 1593 01:29:00,260 --> 01:29:01,491 I just came up here for my paintings. 1594 01:29:01,511 --> 01:29:03,221 Into the wagon. 1595 01:29:03,304 --> 01:29:06,182 Now please, Sarge. I've never seen those people before in my life. 1596 01:29:06,266 --> 01:29:09,477 You see, my wife, Leona, she's asking an awful lot of money. 1597 01:29:09,561 --> 01:29:12,322 And, uh... Well, anyway, I was keeping my paintings up at Tom's place, 1598 01:29:12,355 --> 01:29:14,595 and I was staying at my place, in my beautiful apartment. 1599 01:29:14,649 --> 01:29:17,193 Then he asked me to check into the Plaza Hotel, which I did. 1600 01:29:17,277 --> 01:29:20,280 I was gonna call you fellas, but this girl kept ordering martinis. 1601 01:29:20,363 --> 01:29:22,323 And then when my zipper got stuck, you see... 1602 01:29:22,407 --> 01:29:23,700 In the wagon! 1603 01:29:23,783 --> 01:29:25,952 Oh, all right. I'll get in the... 1604 01:29:26,035 --> 01:29:27,912 Just push a little bit. Thank you. 1605 01:29:27,996 --> 01:29:29,956 Stop! Will you... Come on outta here. 1606 01:29:30,039 --> 01:29:32,292 I'll have you broken for this, you goon! 1607 01:29:32,375 --> 01:29:35,253 But I told you, I'm a secretary at the UN. 1608 01:29:35,336 --> 01:29:38,631 Wait till my old man gets a hold of that Milford. 1609 01:29:40,592 --> 01:29:42,385 Why don't you believe me? 1610 01:29:42,468 --> 01:29:45,471 Officer, you don't understand. It was all a joke. 1611 01:29:45,555 --> 01:29:47,807 I mean, it was my idea. 1612 01:29:47,891 --> 01:29:49,809 Look, I don't even know these girls. 1613 01:29:49,893 --> 01:29:52,103 Sure, girlie. Nobody knows nobody around here. 1614 01:29:52,187 --> 01:29:55,003 You all just happened to be standing up there waiting for a trolley car. 1615 01:29:55,023 --> 01:29:56,357 In the van! 1616 01:29:57,734 --> 01:29:59,777 Officer, look, I can explain this whole thing. 1617 01:29:59,861 --> 01:30:01,342 You see, I know all these people. I live here. 1618 01:30:01,362 --> 01:30:02,906 They're all friends of mine. Uh-huh. 1619 01:30:02,989 --> 01:30:05,325 Look, I never even got a traffic ticket in my whole life. 1620 01:30:05,408 --> 01:30:06,951 Uh-huh. Maybe somebody can help me. 1621 01:30:07,035 --> 01:30:08,536 Officer, let me explain it to you. 1622 01:30:08,703 --> 01:30:10,303 The whole thing is just a gag. It was... 1623 01:30:10,330 --> 01:30:14,000 You again. You know, I didn't recognize you with your pants on. 1624 01:30:15,460 --> 01:30:17,670 Yes, sir. I'll go quietly. 1625 01:30:32,435 --> 01:30:35,355 Lovely evening to get arrested, isn't it? 1626 01:30:37,106 --> 01:30:40,109 You know, if you like the apartment, 1627 01:30:40,193 --> 01:30:43,279 I have no objections to you using it on a more permanent basis. 1628 01:30:44,739 --> 01:30:46,741 That is, uh, 1629 01:30:46,824 --> 01:30:49,369 if you'd like to use the Milford name 1630 01:30:49,452 --> 01:30:51,037 on a more permanent basis. 1631 01:30:52,121 --> 01:30:54,374 Pay attention. That's a proposal. 1632 01:30:55,875 --> 01:30:58,878 Oh, and you don't have to worry about tossing away those paintings, 1633 01:30:58,962 --> 01:31:00,296 because they belong to Harve. 1634 01:31:01,256 --> 01:31:03,508 Oh! 1635 01:31:03,591 --> 01:31:07,011 Are these magnificent paintings really yours? 1636 01:31:07,095 --> 01:31:09,305 Well, yes. I... I think so. I... 1637 01:31:09,389 --> 01:31:12,767 Oh, well, I was only saying the other day 1638 01:31:12,850 --> 01:31:15,061 that whoever owns these paintings 1639 01:31:15,144 --> 01:31:18,773 must be a man of great taste and refinement. 1640 01:31:18,856 --> 01:31:20,566 Oh, really? 1641 01:31:20,650 --> 01:31:22,568 Uh-huh. Well 1642 01:31:24,237 --> 01:31:25,947 So I'm passing the police station 1643 01:31:26,030 --> 01:31:28,950 and these two vans pull up and unload 1644 01:31:29,033 --> 01:31:31,786 the biggest bunch of night fliers you've ever seen. 1645 01:31:31,869 --> 01:31:34,747 And who do you think is right smack in the middle of them? 1646 01:31:34,831 --> 01:31:37,250 Your friend, Little Miss Muffet. 1647 01:31:37,333 --> 01:31:39,669 How about that? How about that? 1648 01:31:39,752 --> 01:31:41,671 Oh, it's like I always said. 1649 01:31:41,754 --> 01:31:43,673 The city is a jungle. 1650 01:31:43,756 --> 01:31:45,842 Crawling with vice, it is. 1651 01:31:45,925 --> 01:31:48,094 Why, only this week, mind you, 1652 01:31:48,177 --> 01:31:51,764 a mere wisp of a child with the bloom of innocence still on her cheeks 1653 01:31:51,848 --> 01:31:53,016 comes into the place. 1654 01:31:53,099 --> 01:31:54,434 And would you believe it? 1655 01:31:54,517 --> 01:31:56,269 Some dirty dog of a scoundrel, 1656 01:31:56,352 --> 01:31:59,147 some mean, low-down, cheap, conniving, 1657 01:31:59,314 --> 01:32:01,858 two-faced, lecherous snake in the grass... 1658 01:32:01,941 --> 01:32:03,234 Why... 1659 01:32:08,031 --> 01:32:09,490 I'll take care of 'em. 1660 01:32:09,574 --> 01:32:11,367 You listened last time. It's my turn. 1661 01:32:11,451 --> 01:32:13,036 You always wanna keep the good ones. 1662 01:32:13,119 --> 01:32:16,414 Okay, okay. We'll both take care of 'em. 1663 01:32:26,215 --> 01:32:28,301 You and your English tailoring. 1664 01:32:30,178 --> 01:32:31,554 Tom! 1665 01:32:32,805 --> 01:32:34,515 Honey? 1666 01:32:34,599 --> 01:32:36,642 Are you all right? 1667 01:32:37,685 --> 01:32:39,354 Well, Tom... 1668 01:32:44,859 --> 01:32:46,444 You know somethin', Charlie? 1669 01:32:46,527 --> 01:32:49,781 When you got her around, you don't need television.125966

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