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Our solar system
is composed of nine planets,
2
00:01:56,625 --> 00:01:59,920
31 moons, thousands of minor planets,
3
00:02:00,003 --> 00:02:03,548
scores of comets and millions of meteors.
4
00:02:03,632 --> 00:02:07,010
Each of these heavenly bodies
moves in its orbit,
5
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:11,139
quietly, majestically, without incident.
6
00:02:11,222 --> 00:02:13,224
This is the planet Earth.
7
00:02:13,308 --> 00:02:16,478
Its occupants also move in a daily orbit,
8
00:02:16,561 --> 00:02:20,523
but unlike nature, their
course is not quite so regular,
9
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:23,568
SO quiet, so majestic.
10
00:02:48,718 --> 00:02:50,470
Well! I'm so sorry.
11
00:02:50,553 --> 00:02:52,305
Please forgive me. Are you all right?
12
00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:54,182
You might watch where you're walking.
13
00:02:54,265 --> 00:02:56,226
Absolutely stupid of me. Please forgive me.
14
00:02:56,309 --> 00:03:00,230
Uh, send me a bill for... For
the cleaning of the dress, huh?
15
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:01,982
Uh, can I get you a cab? No.
16
00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:03,692
Are you sure you're all right?
17
00:03:03,775 --> 00:03:05,485
I will be just fine. Never mind.
18
00:03:05,568 --> 00:03:07,195
But...
19
00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,122
It's a good thing I wasn't bending over,
20
00:03:17,205 --> 00:03:19,040
fixing a run in my stocking, ain't it?
21
00:03:19,207 --> 00:03:22,252
Yeah, I'm sorry, Officer.
My eyes were on that girl.
22
00:03:22,877 --> 00:03:25,213
Well, just screw 'em back in
your head and keep moving.
23
00:03:26,965 --> 00:03:28,675
Yes, sir.
24
00:04:27,317 --> 00:04:28,902
Hey!
25
00:04:29,694 --> 00:04:31,321
That wasn't very nice.
26
00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:33,907
And how come you got
such a slob for a roommate?
27
00:04:33,990 --> 00:04:36,868
Just look at this place. Yes.
28
00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:37,053
Clara? Joan Howell.
29
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,097
Any calls?
30
00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:42,183
Oh? Tomorrow night? Auditioning for what?
31
00:05:44,352 --> 00:05:46,104
Japanese governess?
32
00:05:46,187 --> 00:05:49,649
Oh, well. I've had sukiyaki once.
33
00:05:49,732 --> 00:05:52,026
Yeah. Okay. Bye-bye.
34
00:06:03,955 --> 00:06:05,395
Honorable master,
35
00:06:05,415 --> 00:06:09,669
please forgive unworthy
governess for unhappy news.
36
00:06:10,211 --> 00:06:14,299
Honorable son refuse depart television...
37
00:06:14,382 --> 00:06:17,343
For honorable bath.
38
00:06:22,056 --> 00:06:24,726
Everybody's a critic.
39
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,194
Morning.
40
00:06:34,277 --> 00:06:35,320
Hello, Honey.
41
00:06:35,403 --> 00:06:38,072
Good morning, Mr. Milford.
Mr. Granson has been looking for you.
42
00:06:38,156 --> 00:06:39,157
I'm thrilled.
43
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:40,430
And a Miss Stevens has been calling.
44
00:06:40,450 --> 00:06:43,077
Do me a favor and ring
my apartment, will ya?
45
00:06:44,162 --> 00:06:47,498
Miss Stevens was wondering
if you'd found a contact lens.
46
00:06:47,582 --> 00:06:49,459
In your bedroom.
47
00:06:49,584 --> 00:06:51,127
Well, don't look at me that way.
48
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:55,173
I mean, I can't help it if Miss Stevens
happens to have long eyeballs.
49
00:06:55,256 --> 00:06:57,592
Hello. Mr. Milford here.
I was... What's that?
50
00:06:57,675 --> 00:07:01,262
I say hello, Mr. Mifor-san.
51
00:07:01,346 --> 00:07:05,225
Uh, yeah. Listen. I forgot to take
the dog for a walk this morning.
52
00:07:05,308 --> 00:07:08,144
Would you be so kind as to
take him around the block for me?
53
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:09,437
Uh, once should be enough.
54
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,190
My pleasure, Mr. Mifor-san. Goodbye.
55
00:07:14,275 --> 00:07:16,595
Thank you very much, Miss Honey.
56
00:07:17,987 --> 00:07:19,322
Morning, Harve.
57
00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:22,325
Boy, we sure missed you at
the party last night. It was a beauty.
58
00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:24,474
Yeah. I didn't finish with my
wife's lawyers till after midnight.
59
00:07:24,494 --> 00:07:26,829
You mean you and Leona
still can't agree on a settlement?
60
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:30,250
Oh, yeah. She wants to split everything
down the middle, including my head.
61
00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:32,877
Well, she can't split what
she can't find, can she?
62
00:07:32,961 --> 00:07:34,712
Now, I'm not proud of that maneuver.
63
00:07:34,796 --> 00:07:36,130
I'm an honest man,
64
00:07:36,214 --> 00:07:38,341
and here I am hiding
my art collection with you,
65
00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:40,677
my boat's in my brother's dock in Florida,
66
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,804
my securities are in a bank in Geneva.
67
00:07:42,887 --> 00:07:45,139
I've got more locations than the A&P.
68
00:07:45,223 --> 00:07:47,684
Well, you're the guy
that wanted to get married.
69
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:51,354
I told you, take up something like
parachute jumping or alligator wrestling.
70
00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:52,563
All right, all right.
71
00:07:52,647 --> 00:07:54,671
Look, I'm due out in Los
Angeles on that movie deal.
72
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,464
You know, the one where we're
gonna novelize their features.
73
00:07:56,484 --> 00:07:57,527
Mmm-hmm.
74
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,153
I'd like you to go out there for me.
75
00:07:59,237 --> 00:08:00,738
Figure on about 10 days. Sure.
76
00:08:00,822 --> 00:08:02,907
Here's some correspondence and contracts.
77
00:08:03,908 --> 00:08:06,744
I'll talk to you about it in the
morning before you take off.
78
00:08:06,828 --> 00:08:07,829
In the morning?
79
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:08,955
Yeah, in the morning.
80
00:08:09,038 --> 00:08:10,748
What's the... What's the problem?
81
00:08:10,832 --> 00:08:13,356
Well, that's... That's rushing
things a little bit, don't you think?
82
00:08:13,376 --> 00:08:15,211
Uh, I mean, uh, I gotta pack.
83
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,130
I gotta get the dog to the kennel.
84
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,466
Besides, I was planning a wingding tonight.
85
00:08:20,550 --> 00:08:22,385
You wingdinged last night.
86
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,345
Well, you see, this is the anniversary
87
00:08:24,429 --> 00:08:26,264
of the unveiling of the Statue of Liberty,
88
00:08:26,347 --> 00:08:28,182
78 years ago today.
89
00:08:28,266 --> 00:08:31,185
I, uh, can't let it pass
without observing it.
90
00:08:31,269 --> 00:08:34,188
Mmm-hmm. You never let
anything pass unobserved.
91
00:08:34,272 --> 00:08:37,775
Last week you celebrated Chinese
New Year, and Ruby Foo you are not.
92
00:08:37,859 --> 00:08:39,819
Harve, all men are my brothers,
93
00:08:39,902 --> 00:08:43,406
and we are all part of that great
fraternity known as mankind.
94
00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:46,868
And whatever rejoices
my neighbor rejoices me.
95
00:08:46,951 --> 00:08:48,745
Oh, please. I just had my breakfast.
96
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,838
My place, 9:00 tonight?
97
00:08:58,921 --> 00:09:00,089
What's on the stove?
98
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,174
Statue of Liberty.
99
00:09:01,257 --> 00:09:02,383
Crazy.
100
00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:03,634
I knew you were patriotic.
101
00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:13,478
Okay. I'm comin'.
102
00:09:23,321 --> 00:09:24,655
Good morning, Mr. Milford.
103
00:09:24,739 --> 00:09:25,907
Good morning, Scruggs.
104
00:09:25,990 --> 00:09:27,450
Hi there, Spike.
105
00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:30,036
Listen. I've got to go...
106
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,247
I say, I've got to go away for 10 days.
107
00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:35,166
So make sure that
he gets no horsemeat, huh?
108
00:09:35,249 --> 00:09:37,794
We know Spike. Strictly beef and kibble.
109
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,545
Have a good trip, sir. Thank you.
110
00:09:39,629 --> 00:09:41,172
Come on, Spike.
111
00:09:43,758 --> 00:09:45,259
Good boy.
112
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,100
Poor maid.
113
00:09:52,183 --> 00:09:55,603
What a terrible thing to do
to a nice, old Japanese lady.
114
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,167
I heard you! I heard you!
115
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,712
You know, we ought to invest in
116
00:10:21,796 --> 00:10:23,589
an alarm clock one of these days.
117
00:10:23,673 --> 00:10:26,050
Why blow three bucks
when he gets up when we do?
118
00:10:26,134 --> 00:10:28,219
"Cause I think when
a girl reaches maturity,
119
00:10:28,302 --> 00:10:31,222
she should surround herself
with certain niceties,
120
00:10:31,305 --> 00:10:32,640
like her own alarm clock.
121
00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:36,060
Bring one more thing into this room,
122
00:10:36,144 --> 00:10:37,895
and we'll have to knock out a wall.
123
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:44,193
Hark. The sound of the thrush awakes me.
124
00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:49,323
Mine eyes open to the splendor of my abode.
125
00:10:51,159 --> 00:10:53,870
Yuck.
126
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:27,028
If the wheels on these beds ever jam,
127
00:11:27,111 --> 00:11:29,197
we're trapped here for life.
128
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:58,142
I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair
129
00:11:58,226 --> 00:12:00,144
A case of laryngitis.
130
00:12:00,228 --> 00:12:01,292
Is that too much to ask for?
131
00:12:01,312 --> 00:12:02,313
Borne like a vapor
132
00:12:02,396 --> 00:12:05,650
On the summer air
133
00:12:05,733 --> 00:12:11,948
I see her tripping where
the bright streams play
134
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:14,909
Turn it off a minute, will ya?
135
00:12:14,992 --> 00:12:17,828
Luther, I said turn it off!
136
00:12:17,912 --> 00:12:20,790
Okay, okay, okay! I heard ya. I heard ya.
137
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:23,292
"I heard ya. I heard ya." Harvard man.
138
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,336
Magna cum loudmouth.
139
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:31,342
Okay, okay, okay! Take it away!
140
00:12:39,517 --> 00:12:41,644
Ah, what a glorious morning.
141
00:12:41,727 --> 00:12:44,689
The hyacinths will be
plentiful this summer.
142
00:12:46,357 --> 00:12:47,900
Did you tell Flaccus the gardener
143
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:50,361
to turn the soil and nourish
those dear little roots?
144
00:12:50,444 --> 00:12:52,822
I'll tell him when he
comes up for the garbage.
145
00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,366
And what are you having
with your coffee, dear Duchess?
146
00:12:55,449 --> 00:12:58,327
Fruitcake, like I have every morning.
147
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:01,706
Look. Can I get you down
off the chandelier for a minute?
148
00:13:01,789 --> 00:13:03,249
Okay. What is it?
149
00:13:03,332 --> 00:13:06,085
How's about moving out of this trap?
150
00:13:07,169 --> 00:13:08,170
Where?
151
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:09,694
We'll take a day off and we'll look.
152
00:13:09,714 --> 00:13:12,758
I can't. I've got
an extra apartment to clean.
153
00:13:12,842 --> 00:13:15,803
I got two extra apartments to
clean, but this is more important.
154
00:13:15,886 --> 00:13:20,224
Really, doesn't this
trap ever get you down?
155
00:13:20,308 --> 00:13:21,934
No, I don't really ever think about it.
156
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:24,520
Nor do I think about
having to work as a maid.
157
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,731
We're trying to stake our way
into show business.
158
00:13:26,814 --> 00:13:29,358
So the only important thing
right now is to save a buck.
159
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,235
But doesn't it bother you what guys
160
00:13:31,319 --> 00:13:32,903
must think when they take you home?
161
00:13:32,987 --> 00:13:36,949
I never met one that
I was that interested in.
162
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,367
Talk to a wall.
163
00:13:42,163 --> 00:13:43,164
Yeah.
164
00:13:43,247 --> 00:13:45,041
It's me, Luther.
165
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:53,341
I smelled the coffee through the walls.
166
00:13:53,424 --> 00:13:55,051
What walls?
167
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:57,637
Sorry about the alarm clock.
I never hear it.
168
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,097
All I hear are your shoes banging.
169
00:14:00,181 --> 00:14:02,224
Mind if I have a cup of coffee?
170
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:03,851
Help yourself.
171
00:14:03,934 --> 00:14:05,394
Oh, before I forget,
172
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,189
cannot make the rehearsal tonight.
173
00:14:08,272 --> 00:14:10,149
Gotta talk to a guy about a job.
174
00:14:10,232 --> 00:14:12,234
Oh, congratulations.
175
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:14,654
It's an offer for the summer. A barn.
176
00:14:14,737 --> 00:14:16,405
Plainfield, New Jersey.
177
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,369
Oh, that's great. Grab it.
It's good experience.
178
00:14:18,407 --> 00:14:20,117
All the big stars are doing it.
179
00:14:20,201 --> 00:14:24,330
No, no. This guy is a farmer.
He wants me to work in his barn.
180
00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:26,874
Ah, Prince Nicholas.
181
00:14:26,957 --> 00:14:29,543
I am glad that you're back from the Crimea.
182
00:14:33,881 --> 00:14:35,508
Where the heck is the Crimea?
183
00:14:36,801 --> 00:14:39,804
You pass it on the way
to Plainfield, New Jersey.
184
00:15:08,082 --> 00:15:09,166
Oh!
185
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:14,046
Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Gee,
please forgive me. Are you all right?
186
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,507
Well, you ought to watch
where you put that thing, lady.
187
00:15:16,590 --> 00:15:19,593
I know. It's absolutely stupid
of me, but, gee, I am sorry.
188
00:15:19,677 --> 00:15:21,804
A guy could break
every single bone in his...
189
00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:24,348
Oh. Well, hello. Hello.
190
00:15:24,432 --> 00:15:26,267
You're the same girl
that was here yesterday.
191
00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:28,018
Are you sure you're not hurt?
192
00:15:28,102 --> 00:15:30,229
Who, me? No, not a scratch.
193
00:15:30,312 --> 00:15:31,731
Not a scratch.
194
00:15:31,814 --> 00:15:34,108
Funny. Uh, two days in a row.
195
00:15:34,191 --> 00:15:36,026
Maybe we could get the Red Cross
196
00:15:36,110 --> 00:15:38,112
to declare this corner a disaster area.
197
00:15:39,447 --> 00:15:41,991
Uh, as long as we've bumped...
198
00:15:46,203 --> 00:15:50,499
Uh, that girl... She, uh, just took off.
199
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:54,211
What did you expect?
Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?
200
00:15:54,295 --> 00:15:55,838
Yeah.
201
00:16:27,828 --> 00:16:30,539
Good riddance to honorable drunk
202
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,249
and lady chaser.
203
00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:38,422
May the great bird of passage
deliver honorable master to California
204
00:16:38,506 --> 00:16:40,841
with happy wind in tail.
205
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:50,059
I was looking forward
to that trip to California.
206
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:52,144
Are you sure Dunhill beat us out?
207
00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,271
Well, Dunhill called me himself. Hmm.
208
00:16:54,355 --> 00:16:56,232
Had a good three-minute gloat.
209
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:58,275
If I hadn't been so involved
with Leona's divorce,
210
00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:01,237
I would have been out in LA a week
ago and had the deal in my pocket.
211
00:17:02,112 --> 00:17:04,532
You know, Harve, I hate
to see you so hacked up.
212
00:17:04,615 --> 00:17:06,450
I wish there was something I could do.
213
00:17:06,534 --> 00:17:08,911
Marry Leona. Get me off the alimony hook.
214
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:11,080
That good a friend I'm not.
215
00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:13,707
I'll give you three of my Pirraux
paintings in your apartment.
216
00:17:15,918 --> 00:17:17,002
How much are they worth?
217
00:17:17,086 --> 00:17:18,796
$25,000 apiece.
218
00:17:20,089 --> 00:17:21,966
I have to take Leona? Yeah.
219
00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:24,635
Forget it.
220
00:17:27,096 --> 00:17:28,597
Fair-weather friend.
221
00:17:30,599 --> 00:17:32,768
Oh, well. Another audition down the drain.
222
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,812
Hey, anybody want to share
a cab to the village?
223
00:17:34,895 --> 00:17:36,126
No, thanks. I'm being picked up.
224
00:17:36,146 --> 00:17:37,253
I gotta wait for my boyfriend.
225
00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:38,753
Vickie and I are stopping for coffee.
226
00:17:38,816 --> 00:17:40,192
Okay.
227
00:17:41,026 --> 00:17:42,695
You know, um,
228
00:17:42,778 --> 00:17:45,114
I thought you had the best dialect tonight.
229
00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:46,740
Sorry you didn't get the part.
230
00:17:46,824 --> 00:17:49,223
Oh, thank you, and I'm sorry
you didn't get the part, Hatacki.
231
00:17:49,243 --> 00:17:51,412
I mean, after all, you are Japanese.
232
00:17:52,037 --> 00:17:53,539
Taxi!
233
00:17:53,622 --> 00:17:56,083
Um, if you have the best talent
234
00:17:56,166 --> 00:17:58,711
and I have the best face, well,
235
00:17:58,794 --> 00:18:00,921
what has she got?
236
00:18:01,005 --> 00:18:02,089
As soon as you walked on...
237
00:18:02,172 --> 00:18:03,173
You were sensational!
238
00:18:03,257 --> 00:18:05,259
Wasn't she just great?
239
00:18:05,342 --> 00:18:07,094
The part!
240
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,019
Washington Square.
241
00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:26,342
If you want to commit suicide,
242
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:27,469
why don't you jump off a bridge?
243
00:18:27,489 --> 00:18:29,325
What's the matter with you, Mac?
244
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:31,035
See this nut hit me?
245
00:18:31,118 --> 00:18:32,953
Don't be a wise guy.
246
00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:46,614
You know, I get the funniest feeling
247
00:18:46,634 --> 00:18:48,198
that somebody's trying
to tell us something.
248
00:18:48,218 --> 00:18:51,013
Well, I hope we find out what
it is before we kill each other.
249
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:52,097
Hey, I got a thought.
250
00:18:52,181 --> 00:18:53,245
Why don't we duck into that bar
251
00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:55,017
and see if we can't decipher the message?
252
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:56,477
All right.
253
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,520
Don't you know signals? I had my arm up.
254
00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:00,669
Here, fellas. This ought to
straighten out the whole beef.
255
00:19:00,689 --> 00:19:02,066
If a cop don't show up.
256
00:19:15,079 --> 00:19:16,580
Here.
257
00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:20,584
What'll it be?
258
00:19:20,668 --> 00:19:24,672
Uh, ooh, something light. Uh,
quinine water with just a drop of gin.
259
00:19:24,755 --> 00:19:27,091
Vodka martini for me, please.
260
00:19:27,174 --> 00:19:29,927
You know, we're gonna have to
come up with some sort of a system,
261
00:19:30,010 --> 00:19:32,054
because now it's a matter of survival.
262
00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:35,474
Well, why don't we check
itineraries each morning
263
00:19:35,557 --> 00:19:37,017
so that we can avoid each other?
264
00:19:37,101 --> 00:19:40,521
Well, I... I want to continue to
meet you, but not head-on, you see.
265
00:19:40,604 --> 00:19:42,606
Well, I'll tell you.
Let's divide the town in half.
266
00:19:42,690 --> 00:19:44,692
You take the north,
and I'll take the south,
267
00:19:44,775 --> 00:19:46,652
and we can talk across the border.
268
00:19:46,735 --> 00:19:48,487
Well, before we get to strategy,
269
00:19:48,570 --> 00:19:50,698
I think a few vital
statistics are in order.
270
00:19:50,781 --> 00:19:54,451
Now, you said your name was
Joan, and I assume you're a model.
271
00:19:54,535 --> 00:19:56,453
Mmm-mmm. What makes you assume that?
272
00:19:56,537 --> 00:19:59,081
Well, that hatbox is a dead giveaway.
273
00:19:59,540 --> 00:20:01,625
Wrong. Actress?
274
00:20:01,709 --> 00:20:05,462
Well, I'm studying to be, but
that's not what I do for a living.
275
00:20:05,546 --> 00:20:07,381
Well, what do you do for a living?
276
00:20:07,464 --> 00:20:11,176
Uh, that's my secret.
277
00:20:11,260 --> 00:20:12,261
Bet I can guess it.
278
00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:15,848
Well, there's really no trick
to it if you try long enough.
279
00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:17,307
Ten questions.
280
00:20:17,391 --> 00:20:20,894
Okay, but, you know, even if
you do guess it, I might not tell you.
281
00:20:22,104 --> 00:20:24,231
Bartender, let me have
some swizzle sticks, please.
282
00:20:27,109 --> 00:20:30,779
Mmm. No, I'd like 10 of them.
We're gonna play a game.
283
00:20:35,951 --> 00:20:37,161
Thank you.
284
00:20:37,244 --> 00:20:41,123
Uh, could I avail
myself of your services”??
285
00:20:41,206 --> 00:20:43,000
Mmm, yes.
286
00:20:43,083 --> 00:20:46,628
Uh-huh. Is there any special
training required for what you do?
287
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:49,131
Oh, very little.
288
00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:52,843
Well, uh, could what you
do be done in a... In an office?
289
00:20:53,093 --> 00:20:54,470
Mmm-hmm.
290
00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:56,013
An apartment? Mostly.
291
00:20:58,348 --> 00:20:59,475
No. No.
292
00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:01,393
Are your clients exclusively male?
293
00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:03,187
Yes. I see.
294
00:21:03,270 --> 00:21:05,439
Uh, is a telephone essential in your work?
295
00:21:05,522 --> 00:21:08,609
Uh-huh. Very essential.
296
00:21:10,611 --> 00:21:13,906
Would what you do bring extra
comfort and happiness to me?
297
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,658
Well, I'd like to think it would.
298
00:21:18,035 --> 00:21:19,355
Are you in business for yourself?
299
00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:21,830
Oh, no. No, no.
I'm with an organized group.
300
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:24,583
Uh, you know, you only
have two questions left.
301
00:21:24,666 --> 00:21:26,627
Well, is there any risk
involved in what you do?
302
00:21:26,710 --> 00:21:28,879
Oh, my goodness, yes.
Well, do you know that
303
00:21:28,962 --> 00:21:30,839
last week a girl fell off the fireplace?
304
00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:39,139
And you won't believe what
happened to me not long ago.
305
00:21:39,223 --> 00:21:41,975
The sofa caught fire. Well, do
you know that I just got a broom,
306
00:21:42,059 --> 00:21:45,938
beat it out, and I went on as
though nothing had happened.
307
00:21:46,688 --> 00:21:48,107
Wow.
308
00:21:48,857 --> 00:21:50,984
Well, one last question. Um... Okay.
309
00:21:51,068 --> 00:21:52,820
Do your clients have to be present
310
00:21:52,903 --> 00:21:54,703
in order to avail
themselves of your services?
311
00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:56,365
No. Whew.
312
00:21:56,448 --> 00:21:57,825
Well, that's a relief.
313
00:21:57,908 --> 00:21:59,201
Well, what do you mean by that?
314
00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:01,036
Nothing. Nothing at all. Forget it.
315
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:04,164
I'm sure whatever you do
you do very, very well.
316
00:22:04,248 --> 00:22:06,438
Ooh, my goodness. It's
getting late. I've gotta be going.
317
00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:07,981
Well, I'll have you home
in no time. Check, please.
318
00:22:08,001 --> 00:22:09,503
Oh, oh. Please don't bother.
319
00:22:09,586 --> 00:22:11,296
You know, it's really quite a ways.
320
00:22:11,380 --> 00:22:12,673
Oh, it's no bother at all.
321
00:22:12,756 --> 00:22:15,467
By the way, I wish you a lot
of luck on your acting career.
322
00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:16,782
You know, it's a very difficult business.
323
00:22:16,802 --> 00:22:18,178
Don't I know.
324
00:22:18,262 --> 00:22:21,807
The last job I had was in a patriotic
pageant. It was six months ago.
325
00:22:21,890 --> 00:22:23,934
Well, I performed before 14,000 men
326
00:22:24,017 --> 00:22:25,811
at a convention in Atlantic City.
327
00:22:26,436 --> 00:22:28,438
I even got nine curtain calls.
328
00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:31,316
Wow.
329
00:22:31,775 --> 00:22:32,985
Wow.
330
00:22:35,445 --> 00:22:39,158
Hey, Charlie. You ever been to one
of them conventions in Atlantic City?
331
00:22:39,241 --> 00:22:42,286
Nope. You know, I think
we're missing something.
332
00:22:44,288 --> 00:22:46,540
Well, it's quite late, and, really,
333
00:22:46,623 --> 00:22:49,042
I feel guilty about
taking you out of your way.
334
00:22:49,126 --> 00:22:51,044
Well, how do you know what my way is?
335
00:22:51,128 --> 00:22:52,651
We might live right
next door to each other.
336
00:22:52,671 --> 00:22:55,549
After all, I have seen you
up around 62nd Street.
337
00:22:56,341 --> 00:22:57,718
Say, taxi!
338
00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:12,983
Where to, folks?
339
00:23:13,066 --> 00:23:14,276
62nd Street.
340
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:15,861
What did I tell ya?
341
00:23:25,412 --> 00:23:27,873
So this cop kind of looks at me nasty-like,
342
00:23:27,956 --> 00:23:30,000
and he says, "It's a good thing I wasn't
343
00:23:30,083 --> 00:23:32,961
"pending down fixing a run in my stocking."
344
00:23:33,045 --> 00:23:34,087
Broke me up, I tell ya.
345
00:23:34,171 --> 00:23:35,255
Which house, lady?
346
00:23:35,339 --> 00:23:37,633
Oh. Uh, the one right over
there by the fire hydrant.
347
00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:39,384
Okay.
348
00:23:50,729 --> 00:23:52,272
You live here? Yes.
349
00:23:52,356 --> 00:23:55,025
And I want to thank you
for a very lovely evening.
350
00:23:55,108 --> 00:23:56,109
Good night.
351
00:23:56,193 --> 00:23:57,319
Don't go away.
352
00:24:00,322 --> 00:24:03,367
Uh... You don't
have to take me to the door. Really.
353
00:24:03,450 --> 00:24:04,618
But I want to.
354
00:24:04,701 --> 00:24:05,786
Oh.
355
00:24:08,872 --> 00:24:11,500
Well, good night again.
356
00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:16,838
Tom, please don't bother.
357
00:24:16,922 --> 00:24:19,132
I insist on walking you to your door.
358
00:24:19,216 --> 00:24:21,927
But... But it's silly for you
to climb all those stairs.
359
00:24:22,010 --> 00:24:24,846
But I want to. Believe me, I want to.
360
00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:26,306
Oh.
361
00:24:41,613 --> 00:24:44,658
Well, good night again.
362
00:24:48,412 --> 00:24:50,956
Uh, may I ask how long you've lived here?
363
00:24:51,039 --> 00:24:53,500
Oh, just a very short while.
364
00:24:54,584 --> 00:24:56,336
Good night.
365
00:25:03,719 --> 00:25:05,304
Uh, yes, Tom?
366
00:25:05,387 --> 00:25:08,223
We never did get to, uh, last names.
367
00:25:08,307 --> 00:25:10,767
Oh.
368
00:25:10,851 --> 00:25:13,228
No, uh, so we didn't, did we?
369
00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:16,315
Uh, Milford.
370
00:25:16,398 --> 00:25:18,191
Joan Milford.
371
00:25:20,152 --> 00:25:21,194
I'm baffled.
372
00:25:21,278 --> 00:25:22,487
What did you say?
373
00:25:22,571 --> 00:25:24,865
Uh, Baffle. Tom Baffle.
374
00:25:24,948 --> 00:25:27,117
Like confused?
375
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,952
Very.
376
00:25:29,036 --> 00:25:30,370
Oh.
377
00:25:31,455 --> 00:25:33,206
Good night.
378
00:26:02,903 --> 00:26:04,696
Oh!
379
00:26:04,780 --> 00:26:07,324
It's you. Um...
380
00:26:07,407 --> 00:26:10,827
Oh, I hate to leave dirty
milk bottles in the hallway.
381
00:26:12,954 --> 00:26:16,375
By the way, I was wondering,
could I take you out tomorrow night?
382
00:26:16,458 --> 00:26:19,211
Oh, I'd... I'd love to meet you some place.
383
00:26:19,294 --> 00:26:22,964
Well, I think this place is most
convenient for me. -007?
384
00:26:23,048 --> 00:26:24,424
Well, I don't expect to be...
385
00:26:24,508 --> 00:26:25,801
Tomorrow night at 8:00.
386
00:26:25,884 --> 00:26:27,094
Good night.
387
00:26:27,177 --> 00:26:28,512
Again.
388
00:26:29,971 --> 00:26:31,807
Again.
389
00:26:52,619 --> 00:26:54,287
Where next?
390
00:26:54,371 --> 00:26:56,206
I don't know.
391
00:26:56,289 --> 00:26:57,833
Don't you want to go home?
392
00:26:57,916 --> 00:26:59,459
I am home.
393
00:27:03,171 --> 00:27:05,382
What do you want me to do?
Drive you up the steps?
394
00:27:09,344 --> 00:27:11,012
58th Street Towers.
395
00:27:19,354 --> 00:27:20,647
But where did she get a key?
396
00:27:20,730 --> 00:27:23,108
I don't know. I don't know.
397
00:27:23,191 --> 00:27:25,360
Call the police, Tom.
She's after the paintings.
398
00:27:25,444 --> 00:27:28,029
I'll be personally
responsible for the paintings.
399
00:27:28,113 --> 00:27:30,033
Somebody just stole your
apartment and your name,
400
00:27:30,115 --> 00:27:33,034
and you're gonna be responsible
for my... Call the police.
401
00:27:33,118 --> 00:27:36,788
I will not call the police because I'm
not convinced that this girl is a thief.
402
00:27:36,872 --> 00:27:39,499
Now, I've gotta find out for
myself just what's going on.
403
00:27:41,168 --> 00:27:43,920
And while you're trying to find
out, where do you expect to live?
404
00:27:44,004 --> 00:27:47,466
Harvey. Harvey, what are friends for?
405
00:27:47,549 --> 00:27:49,885
I mean, when you needed
a home for your paintings,
406
00:27:49,968 --> 00:27:51,887
why, who did you come to?
407
00:27:54,598 --> 00:27:56,141
Hmm.
408
00:28:07,194 --> 00:28:09,134
I hope you don't mind
if I don't make it up for you.
409
00:28:09,154 --> 00:28:10,155
That's all right.
410
00:28:10,238 --> 00:28:12,282
Say, uh, do you have an extra key? Hmm?
411
00:28:12,365 --> 00:28:13,700
An extra key.
412
00:28:13,783 --> 00:28:15,577
Over my dead body.
413
00:28:15,660 --> 00:28:19,122
Harvey, are we bosom pals?
I mean, bosom pals.
414
00:28:19,206 --> 00:28:20,665
Yeah, bosom, yes. Key, no.
415
00:28:22,125 --> 00:28:24,149
Do you realize what would
happen if I did call the police?
416
00:28:24,169 --> 00:28:26,568
Why, the paintings would become
a matter of public information
417
00:28:26,588 --> 00:28:28,089
and community property.
418
00:28:29,299 --> 00:28:32,385
Now, either you give me the key, or, uh,
419
00:28:32,469 --> 00:28:34,429
I'll have to call the police.
420
00:28:44,272 --> 00:28:46,066
You bring one little
bunny up to this place,
421
00:28:46,149 --> 00:28:47,839
I'll have you both
arrested for trespassing.
422
00:28:47,859 --> 00:28:49,653
Me? Yeah.
423
00:28:50,987 --> 00:28:51,988
Who are you calling?
424
00:28:52,072 --> 00:28:55,784
I'm gonna call my place, because I
cannot believe what has happened.
425
00:28:55,909 --> 00:28:57,669
Hey, do you think I had
some sort of a lapse?
426
00:29:00,622 --> 00:29:01,665
The line's busy.
427
00:29:01,748 --> 00:29:04,064
Why, of course it's busy.
She's probably calling the truck.
428
00:29:04,084 --> 00:29:06,127
Come and get it!
429
00:29:07,963 --> 00:29:14,052
Goldilocks. I feel just like Goldilocks
sleeping in Papa Bear's bed.
430
00:29:14,135 --> 00:29:15,595
What?
431
00:29:15,762 --> 00:29:18,139
Oh, relax. Milford's in California.
432
00:29:18,223 --> 00:29:20,892
And, well, I just couldn't
let Baffle see where we live.
433
00:29:20,976 --> 00:29:23,895
Look. I got no time to horse
around. The sink is stopped up,
434
00:29:23,979 --> 00:29:26,773
the fuse blew in the bathroom,
and we got ants in the refrigerator.
435
00:29:26,856 --> 00:29:29,609
Now you get out of that bed
and you come right home.
436
00:29:29,693 --> 00:29:31,528
But I'm stuck here. And besides,
437
00:29:31,611 --> 00:29:33,238
we have another date tomorrow night.
438
00:29:33,321 --> 00:29:35,448
Oh, be a good kid, Audrey,
and bring my white dress
439
00:29:35,532 --> 00:29:37,826
and my cold cream and toothbrush, huh?
440
00:29:37,909 --> 00:29:41,955
You get home this very minute,
or I'll come over and get you.
441
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,168
You can't just move into somebody's
apartment without permission.
442
00:29:47,252 --> 00:29:49,337
It's forcible entry. It's trespassing.
443
00:29:49,421 --> 00:29:51,756
It's a criminal offense, punishable by law.
444
00:29:59,222 --> 00:30:01,099
He's in California, huh?
445
00:30:07,689 --> 00:30:09,149
Mmm.
446
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:16,906
Where am I?
447
00:30:18,825 --> 00:30:20,076
Oh.
448
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:23,288
Oh. All right. Come on.
Goldilocks, get up. It's morning.
449
00:30:23,371 --> 00:30:24,497
Come on. Up, up, up. Up.
450
00:30:24,581 --> 00:30:27,125
I heard ya. I heard ya. I heard ya.
451
00:30:30,545 --> 00:30:32,130
Hey, this is the life.
452
00:30:33,965 --> 00:30:36,092
Why don't you go in and tub first
453
00:30:36,176 --> 00:30:38,970
while I just wallow in this ecstasy, huh?
454
00:30:39,971 --> 00:30:41,640
Hey, Joan, let's not get carried away.
455
00:30:41,723 --> 00:30:44,351
You know, we are trespassing.
We could get arrested.
456
00:30:45,852 --> 00:30:47,604
You worry too much. I do, huh?
457
00:30:47,687 --> 00:30:48,688
Mmm-hmm.
458
00:30:48,772 --> 00:30:50,670
Suppose Milford made
a sudden return to New York.
459
00:30:50,690 --> 00:30:53,318
Suppose he walked into this room right now.
460
00:30:53,401 --> 00:30:55,278
Would you want to be found here like this?
461
00:30:55,362 --> 00:30:59,032
I should say not. I'm gonna go
bathe and then put some makeup on.
462
00:31:04,829 --> 00:31:07,332
Leave me some of that hot water, will ya?
463
00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:10,335
I heard ya. I heard ya.
464
00:31:12,295 --> 00:31:14,130
Did you ever meet this Milford guy?
465
00:31:14,214 --> 00:31:17,008
Uh-uh. I only sweep up the remains.
466
00:31:17,759 --> 00:31:20,095
Any idea what his racket is?
467
00:31:20,178 --> 00:31:22,472
Well, I'd say he books talent for orgies.
468
00:31:22,555 --> 00:31:24,808
I got news for ya.
469
00:31:24,891 --> 00:31:26,226
He's a jockey.
470
00:31:26,309 --> 00:31:27,811
A what?
471
00:31:27,894 --> 00:31:29,354
A jockey.
472
00:31:31,106 --> 00:31:33,024
I found this in the night table.
473
00:31:33,108 --> 00:31:35,360
"Ginny Frazell. Chestnut hair. Spirited.
474
00:31:35,443 --> 00:31:38,113
"Good legs. Slow starter,
but great in stretch.
475
00:31:38,196 --> 00:31:40,365
"Murray Hill, 37599."
476
00:31:40,448 --> 00:31:42,450
If he ain't a jockey, he sure loves horses.
477
00:31:42,534 --> 00:31:45,912
He'll love anything.
I clean up this stable. I know.
478
00:31:45,995 --> 00:31:48,081
Here. Read this one.
479
00:31:48,164 --> 00:31:50,417
"Agnes Whitby. Good disposition.
480
00:31:50,500 --> 00:31:52,711
"Affectionate. Slightly nervous.
481
00:31:52,794 --> 00:31:54,921
"Needs two or three outings."
482
00:31:55,004 --> 00:31:58,508
I guess if he likes you, he shoves
a piece of sugar in your mouth.
483
00:31:59,634 --> 00:32:02,846
Oh. Oh, "Flo Whitby. Mother of Agnes.
484
00:32:02,929 --> 00:32:07,892
"Superb track record. Breaks
fast, always there at the finish."
485
00:32:07,976 --> 00:32:11,563
So what's a swinging jockey like
him doing with a bottle of bubble bath?
486
00:32:11,646 --> 00:32:13,732
Maybe his mother
visits him once in a while.
487
00:32:13,815 --> 00:32:15,066
Or Agnes' mother.
488
00:32:15,150 --> 00:32:17,819
Do you think it'd be all right
if we stayed again tonight?
489
00:32:18,862 --> 00:32:21,865
I've got enough apartments
to clean without adding a new one.
490
00:32:22,532 --> 00:32:24,576
Just one more night.
491
00:32:24,659 --> 00:32:27,203
I mean, how can you give up
that wonderful bathtub?
492
00:32:27,287 --> 00:32:29,205
Suppose he asks you
for a date tomorrow night?
493
00:32:29,289 --> 00:32:31,583
And the next night, and the next?
494
00:32:32,292 --> 00:32:35,211
Yeah, that's true.
495
00:32:35,295 --> 00:32:37,756
I can't wear the same
dress each time, can 1?
496
00:32:37,839 --> 00:32:39,883
Now wait a second.
497
00:32:44,220 --> 00:32:46,020
Your stuff's on the left.
Mine's on the right.
498
00:32:46,097 --> 00:32:47,640
It's a pretty tight squeeze.
499
00:32:47,724 --> 00:32:49,142
What about the other closet?
500
00:32:49,225 --> 00:32:50,810
Oh, it's loaded.
501
00:32:50,894 --> 00:32:53,396
He's got fishing rods, diving
equipment, a bowling ball.
502
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,815
There's even a saddle in there.
503
00:32:55,899 --> 00:32:58,193
Hey, maybe he really is a jockey.
504
00:32:58,276 --> 00:33:00,195
Call Agnes. See if she whinnies.
505
00:33:00,278 --> 00:33:02,405
Ew. It's 8:00. I'd better get a move on.
506
00:33:02,489 --> 00:33:04,157
Now you remember what I said.
507
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,159
Don't let Baffle into this apartment.
508
00:33:06,242 --> 00:33:08,244
It's about as feminine
as a wrestler's locker room.
509
00:33:08,328 --> 00:33:10,163
A guy takes a girl out for a big evening.
510
00:33:10,246 --> 00:33:12,040
Now how can I tell him to wait in the hall?
511
00:33:12,123 --> 00:33:14,083
I'll tell you how.
512
00:33:14,167 --> 00:33:17,420
You say, "Wait in the hall." That's how.
513
00:33:17,504 --> 00:33:19,881
Oh, now you're a big help.
514
00:33:19,964 --> 00:33:23,259
Well, next time some Joe takes
you out, you have to do like I do.
515
00:33:23,343 --> 00:33:25,178
I tell them I live in Connecticut.
516
00:33:25,261 --> 00:33:29,098
Then they take me to Grand Central
Station, and I duck into the subway.
517
00:33:29,182 --> 00:33:32,435
So what happens when they
insist on putting you on the train?
518
00:33:32,519 --> 00:33:34,938
So once in a while
I spend a night in New Haven.
519
00:33:36,397 --> 00:33:37,774
Now you remember what I said.
520
00:33:38,983 --> 00:33:39,984
Don't let him in.
521
00:33:40,068 --> 00:33:41,694
What if he insists when we come back?
522
00:33:41,778 --> 00:33:43,092
So I'll move the sofa out into the hallway.
523
00:33:43,112 --> 00:33:44,197
Ooh, thanks a lot.
524
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,157
Coming!
525
00:33:46,241 --> 00:33:47,867
Now remember what I said.
526
00:33:47,951 --> 00:33:50,995
Hi, Tom.
527
00:33:51,079 --> 00:33:53,289
Uh, I'm kind of early.
You mind if I come in?
528
00:33:53,373 --> 00:33:57,001
The place is such a mess.
You see, I'm having maid trouble.
529
00:34:01,464 --> 00:34:04,926
Yeah. We can't get 'em out of the bathtub.
530
00:34:09,597 --> 00:34:10,974
Quinine water and a drop of gin.
531
00:34:11,057 --> 00:34:12,058
Vodka martini.
532
00:34:15,228 --> 00:34:16,980
Charlie.
533
00:34:17,063 --> 00:34:18,064
Charlie.
534
00:34:18,147 --> 00:34:21,526
There's that little swinger
I was telling you about.
535
00:34:23,570 --> 00:34:25,613
The cute little kid?
536
00:34:25,697 --> 00:34:28,032
You've been in that domestic vodka again.
537
00:34:28,116 --> 00:34:30,910
Now take these over and lay an ear on 'em.
538
00:34:30,994 --> 00:34:34,914
You'll hear talk that'll singe
the fuzz right out of your navel.
539
00:34:35,874 --> 00:34:37,750
You know, Joan, I admire you.
540
00:34:37,834 --> 00:34:38,918
I mean, you are a rarity.
541
00:34:39,002 --> 00:34:40,211
Oh?
542
00:34:40,295 --> 00:34:42,297
Well... Thank you.
543
00:34:42,380 --> 00:34:45,967
With everybody crying about
the immorality of the times, uh,
544
00:34:46,050 --> 00:34:47,927
here you are, a little puritan,
545
00:34:48,011 --> 00:34:50,680
in the middle of this great,
big, evil city.
546
00:34:50,763 --> 00:34:52,390
Won't allow a man into her apartment.
547
00:34:52,473 --> 00:34:54,193
Well, I told you,
548
00:34:54,225 --> 00:34:56,185
my housekeeper didn't show up.
549
00:34:56,269 --> 00:34:59,147
Now you know that's not so. You're
just being respectable and proper.
550
00:34:59,230 --> 00:35:00,565
And I commend you for it.
551
00:35:00,648 --> 00:35:03,026
Well, a girl should be careful.
552
00:35:03,109 --> 00:35:04,841
I mean, just recently a
fellow took me out to dinner,
553
00:35:04,861 --> 00:35:06,029
and then to a show,
554
00:35:06,112 --> 00:35:07,594
and then really got terribly upset with me
555
00:35:07,614 --> 00:35:09,532
because I wouldn't let him
kiss me good night.
556
00:35:09,616 --> 00:35:11,075
Well, you stay old-fashioned.
557
00:35:11,159 --> 00:35:13,411
And as far as my interest in
your apartment is concerned,
558
00:35:13,494 --> 00:35:15,455
why, it's, uh, purely professional.
559
00:35:16,748 --> 00:35:18,291
Professional?
560
00:35:18,374 --> 00:35:19,709
Mmm-hmm. You see, I'm interested
561
00:35:19,792 --> 00:35:21,065
in the things that people live with.
562
00:35:21,085 --> 00:35:24,756
Furnishings, accessories, uh, paintings.
563
00:35:24,839 --> 00:35:26,966
Paintings? Well, I certainly
don't have any of those.
564
00:35:27,050 --> 00:35:29,052
You don't? No.
565
00:35:29,135 --> 00:35:30,450
Not unless you can call something
566
00:35:30,470 --> 00:35:31,888
that looks like a two-headed man
567
00:35:31,971 --> 00:35:35,099
with a three-legged chicken
standing on one of them paintings.
568
00:35:35,183 --> 00:35:37,393
Oh. Well, that sounds very impressionistic,
569
00:35:37,477 --> 00:35:39,312
uh, somebody like Jacques Pirraux.
570
00:35:39,395 --> 00:35:40,877
Now they could be very
valuable, so if I were you,
571
00:35:40,897 --> 00:35:42,523
I would take very good care of them.
572
00:35:42,607 --> 00:35:46,152
Well, is that your business? Paintings?
573
00:35:46,235 --> 00:35:49,113
Not exactly. I...
I'm an interior decorator.
574
00:35:52,116 --> 00:35:54,786
You? An interior decorator?
575
00:35:54,869 --> 00:35:56,429
Well, why not? I mean, is it so strange
576
00:35:56,496 --> 00:35:59,415
that I enjoy chintzes and frilly
gingerbready knickknacks?
577
00:35:59,499 --> 00:36:00,583
Well, no.
578
00:36:00,667 --> 00:36:01,960
No.
579
00:36:02,043 --> 00:36:04,712
It's just that I never
thought of you in that way.
580
00:36:06,089 --> 00:36:08,174
Anyone ever tell you
you don't hear so good?
581
00:36:08,257 --> 00:36:11,719
She's a Girl Scout, and
he's an interior decorator.
582
00:36:11,803 --> 00:36:14,055
That's an interior decorator?
583
00:36:14,138 --> 00:36:17,225
Not only don't you hear
good, you don't see good.
584
00:36:19,310 --> 00:36:22,146
I think it's so exciting what you do.
585
00:36:22,230 --> 00:36:25,692
Well, you know, the sight of an
old Flemish tapestry in muted tones,
586
00:36:25,775 --> 00:36:28,361
or a Louis XV credenza...
587
00:36:28,444 --> 00:36:30,822
Why, they do things to me
that nothing else can do.
588
00:36:30,905 --> 00:36:32,615
Oh, I love pretty things.
589
00:36:32,699 --> 00:36:34,931
But, you know, now that I know
you're an interior decorator,
590
00:36:34,951 --> 00:36:37,120
I certainly can't take you to see my place.
591
00:36:37,203 --> 00:36:39,956
But I'd love to visit your apartment.
592
00:36:40,039 --> 00:36:41,582
My apartment? Mmm-hmm.
593
00:36:41,666 --> 00:36:42,875
Well, why mine?
594
00:36:44,127 --> 00:36:46,379
Well, the answer should be
quite obvious, shouldn't it?
595
00:36:46,462 --> 00:36:49,882
The fact of the matter is, uh,
my place is quite disorganized.
596
00:36:49,966 --> 00:36:52,719
Uh, I've been having maid trouble, too.
597
00:36:52,802 --> 00:36:54,012
Well, I tell you what.
598
00:36:54,095 --> 00:36:55,952
You take me to your apartment,
and I'll show you
599
00:36:55,972 --> 00:36:57,682
what I can do with a vacuum cleaner.
600
00:37:00,727 --> 00:37:02,103
Thank you.
601
00:37:04,188 --> 00:37:06,065
Good night. Oh, night.
602
00:37:09,569 --> 00:37:11,404
You know something, Charlie?
603
00:37:11,487 --> 00:37:13,114
You're stupid.
604
00:37:16,701 --> 00:37:18,953
Oh! It's very lovely.
605
00:37:19,037 --> 00:37:21,873
Just not what I expected
in a decorator's apartment.
606
00:37:21,956 --> 00:37:23,958
Uh, well, tell me more
about your apartment.
607
00:37:24,042 --> 00:37:26,002
It's really quite ugly.
608
00:37:26,085 --> 00:37:28,087
What do you find so ugly about it?
609
00:37:28,171 --> 00:37:30,840
Well, those ridiculous
paintings, of course.
610
00:37:30,923 --> 00:37:33,092
I'd like to toss them out.
611
00:37:34,302 --> 00:37:35,553
You didn't.
612
00:37:35,636 --> 00:37:37,472
No, but I'm thinking about it.
613
00:37:39,015 --> 00:37:41,434
Uh, let me freshen that up, huh?
614
00:37:41,517 --> 00:37:42,602
Yeah, it's warm in here.
615
00:37:42,727 --> 00:37:46,314
Well, I can, uh...
I can open the door for you.
616
00:37:46,397 --> 00:37:50,068
There. Little fresh air. That's better.
617
00:37:50,151 --> 00:37:52,945
Uh, how long did you say
you lived in your place?
618
00:37:53,029 --> 00:37:54,822
Oh, just a short while.
619
00:37:54,906 --> 00:37:56,157
Uh-huh.
620
00:37:57,658 --> 00:38:00,369
There's something very
familiar about that address.
621
00:38:01,829 --> 00:38:04,916
Yeah, in fact, I think I went
to a party there one time.
622
00:38:06,709 --> 00:38:10,046
Now I can't recall
the guy's name, but, uh...
623
00:38:10,129 --> 00:38:12,465
But I'm positive it was
your apartment, in fact.
624
00:38:12,548 --> 00:38:14,509
It's possible. Do you know who I mean?
625
00:38:15,259 --> 00:38:17,095
I never met the gentleman.
626
00:38:23,226 --> 00:38:24,852
You know,
627
00:38:24,936 --> 00:38:26,896
a guy dreams up all sorts of deceptions
628
00:38:26,979 --> 00:38:28,815
to lure a girl up to his apartment,
629
00:38:28,898 --> 00:38:32,110
and, uh, you invited yourself here.
630
00:38:32,193 --> 00:38:34,237
Well, I trust you.
631
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,156
And that's a compliment to your character.
632
00:38:38,241 --> 00:38:41,869
Well, maybe it's that
you think I'm harmless,
633
00:38:42,537 --> 00:38:45,123
and, uh, that's no compliment.
634
00:38:45,206 --> 00:38:48,167
Mmm. A man is only as dangerous
635
00:38:49,377 --> 00:38:51,754
as a girl wants him to be.
636
00:38:51,838 --> 00:38:53,297
Say, what's the...
637
00:38:55,299 --> 00:39:00,138
What's the proportion of gin
and quinine water in this drink?
638
00:39:01,639 --> 00:39:05,268
Oh, I'd say about, uh, even-steven.
639
00:39:05,351 --> 00:39:09,147
I'd say it was more steven than even.
640
00:39:10,314 --> 00:39:12,066
Say,
641
00:39:12,150 --> 00:39:14,068
you're not trying to get me drunk, are you?
642
00:39:14,944 --> 00:39:18,114
We'll examine the motives later, hmm?
643
00:39:18,197 --> 00:39:20,491
But later may be too late.
644
00:39:20,575 --> 00:39:22,326
You know something?
645
00:39:22,410 --> 00:39:23,953
We're talkin' too much.
646
00:39:24,036 --> 00:39:27,498
But if I don't talk, how am I
gonna know what's going on?
647
00:39:27,582 --> 00:39:30,751
If anything very important happens, I, uh,
648
00:39:30,835 --> 00:39:33,004
guarantee you'll be the first to know.
649
00:39:40,553 --> 00:39:42,805
Harvey, sweetheart.
650
00:39:42,889 --> 00:39:45,391
Well, when did you get back into town?
651
00:39:45,474 --> 00:39:47,351
Well, you look just fantastic.
652
00:39:47,435 --> 00:39:50,646
Just like I always say,
my place is your place.
653
00:39:50,730 --> 00:39:53,024
That's why I gave you the key, you know.
654
00:39:53,107 --> 00:39:54,192
How was your trip?
655
00:39:54,275 --> 00:39:55,339
Now, I thought I told you...
656
00:39:55,359 --> 00:39:57,425
Sure, you told me. You told
me you were coming into town,
657
00:39:57,445 --> 00:39:59,677
but you never told me what
time the plane would get there.
658
00:39:59,697 --> 00:40:01,115
I would have been there to meet ya.
659
00:40:01,199 --> 00:40:03,117
Hey, uh, Joan, this is Harve.
660
00:40:03,201 --> 00:40:06,204
How do you do? My best pal.
Greatest pal a guy ever had.
661
00:40:06,287 --> 00:40:08,289
You are a sight for sore
eyes. Will you stop that?
662
00:40:08,372 --> 00:40:09,687
Tom, I am not going to let you...
663
00:40:09,707 --> 00:40:10,875
Isn't he a sweet man?
664
00:40:10,958 --> 00:40:12,398
He's not gonna let me inconvenience myself
665
00:40:12,418 --> 00:40:13,961
by putting him up for the night.
666
00:40:14,045 --> 00:40:15,922
Well, Harvey, if you
want to spend the night in
667
00:40:16,005 --> 00:40:17,798
a dreary old hotel room,
you go right ahead.
668
00:40:17,882 --> 00:40:19,280
What dreary hotel room? I'm not going...
669
00:40:19,300 --> 00:40:21,449
Come on in the kitchen. I
want to get you a glass of milk.
670
00:40:21,469 --> 00:40:24,055
You must have had a very, very
rough trip. How was the flight?
671
00:40:24,138 --> 00:40:25,348
I'll be back in a second.
672
00:40:25,431 --> 00:40:26,682
I don't want any milk.
673
00:40:26,766 --> 00:40:28,664
It doesn't matter. There
must be something in here.
674
00:40:28,684 --> 00:40:29,936
I just don't want to get...
675
00:40:30,019 --> 00:40:31,395
Now look, I thought I told you...
676
00:40:31,479 --> 00:40:33,731
Shh. This is the girl that took my place.
677
00:40:33,814 --> 00:40:35,107
What is she doing in my place?
678
00:40:35,191 --> 00:40:36,505
Well, she won't let me go to my place,
679
00:40:36,525 --> 00:40:38,005
so I had to call your place my place.
680
00:40:38,069 --> 00:40:39,175
Get her out of here, you hear?
681
00:40:39,195 --> 00:40:40,238
Out, out.
682
00:40:40,321 --> 00:40:43,157
Harve, I've been working on
her. She's just starting to talk.
683
00:40:43,241 --> 00:40:45,223
Well, teach her how to walk
and get her out of here.
684
00:40:45,243 --> 00:40:46,515
Look. The case is practically broken.
685
00:40:46,535 --> 00:40:47,683
She's ready to spill the beans.
686
00:40:47,703 --> 00:40:49,205
And she's no crook. Uh-uh.
687
00:40:49,288 --> 00:40:51,479
In fact, she has no idea of
the value of your paintings.
688
00:40:51,499 --> 00:40:53,379
Oh, really? Yeah. She
thinks they're ridiculous.
689
00:40:53,417 --> 00:40:54,418
Oh, really?
690
00:40:54,502 --> 00:40:56,796
Yeah. So ridiculous
she wants to throw 'em out.
691
00:40:56,879 --> 00:40:58,005
Is that... No.
692
00:40:58,089 --> 00:40:59,090
Yeah. Yeah.
693
00:40:59,173 --> 00:41:00,258
Oh, no. No.
694
00:41:00,341 --> 00:41:03,094
Oh, well... Well, I didn't
mean it that way. It's just a joke.
695
00:41:03,177 --> 00:41:06,055
Now, I want my paintings, Tom.
I... I want them tonight. Now!
696
00:41:06,138 --> 00:41:08,432
Harvey. Harvey, please. It
was just a joke. I mean, I...
697
00:41:08,516 --> 00:41:11,018
The paintings are perfectly
safe. They're all right.
698
00:41:11,102 --> 00:41:13,020
Now be a pal. Give me a little time.
699
00:41:13,104 --> 00:41:15,189
I'm on the five-yard line. Hey.
700
00:41:15,273 --> 00:41:16,983
Why don't you check into the Plaza Hotel?
701
00:41:17,066 --> 00:41:18,901
I'll pay for everything. All right?
702
00:41:18,985 --> 00:41:21,153
You check into the Plaza Hotel.
703
00:41:21,237 --> 00:41:24,573
Word of honor, if I detect
any evidence of criminal intent,
704
00:41:24,657 --> 00:41:27,326
I'll pick up the paintings
and... And call the police.
705
00:41:27,410 --> 00:41:29,161
Scout's honor.
706
00:41:30,454 --> 00:41:31,747
Oh.
707
00:41:31,831 --> 00:41:34,583
I've been locked in with my
wife's lawyers for six hours.
708
00:41:34,667 --> 00:41:36,544
I've got indigestion.
709
00:41:37,586 --> 00:41:39,297
I'm tired.
710
00:41:39,380 --> 00:41:43,134
All I want to do is rest my
head on my very own pillow.
711
00:41:43,217 --> 00:41:46,178
I'll pack it in a bag, and you
can take it with you. Come on.
712
00:41:46,262 --> 00:41:48,806
Oh, thank you. Sure. I
knew you'd see it my way.
713
00:41:52,101 --> 00:41:53,644
Going so soon, Harve?
714
00:41:53,728 --> 00:41:57,106
Tom, you're a terrible host.
Give the man some quinine water.
715
00:41:57,189 --> 00:41:58,254
Make yourself at home, Harve.
716
00:41:58,274 --> 00:41:59,275
I have no home.
717
00:42:01,319 --> 00:42:03,279
Good night, Harve.
718
00:42:10,328 --> 00:42:12,288
What does he mean by that?
719
00:42:12,371 --> 00:42:13,831
Who, Harve?
720
00:42:13,914 --> 00:42:15,583
Well, uh, he actually is suffering
721
00:42:15,666 --> 00:42:17,460
from a terrible emotional problem.
722
00:42:17,543 --> 00:42:20,087
He... He thinks he's a wandering gypsy.
723
00:42:20,171 --> 00:42:22,214
He wears bright-colored
shirts and earrings.
724
00:42:22,298 --> 00:42:24,175
Even shakes a tambourine.
725
00:42:24,258 --> 00:42:26,927
Poor Harve.
726
00:42:27,011 --> 00:42:28,179
Listen.
727
00:42:36,479 --> 00:42:37,563
Tom.
728
00:42:37,646 --> 00:42:39,148
Hmm?
729
00:42:39,231 --> 00:42:40,983
Take me home.
730
00:42:41,067 --> 00:42:43,110
Home? Why?
731
00:42:43,986 --> 00:42:47,031
I don't think I should
be here in this condition.
732
00:42:47,114 --> 00:42:48,824
What condition?
733
00:42:48,908 --> 00:42:52,953
Well... I don't
know, but it feels good, and...
734
00:42:53,037 --> 00:42:55,915
I'd be afraid to feel any better.
735
00:42:55,998 --> 00:42:57,833
Don't you trust me?
736
00:42:57,917 --> 00:42:59,293
Should I?
737
00:43:43,045 --> 00:43:45,089
8:00'll be fine, Tom.
738
00:43:45,172 --> 00:43:47,091
Oh, I was looking at those paintings.
739
00:43:47,174 --> 00:43:49,343
They are by that fellow Schmeero.
740
00:43:50,553 --> 00:43:51,971
Oh, Pirraux.
741
00:43:52,054 --> 00:43:55,266
Uh, well, is he a boozer?
742
00:43:55,724 --> 00:43:57,726
Nobody sees things like that sober.
743
00:43:59,061 --> 00:44:00,604
I'd still like to toss them out.
744
00:44:02,273 --> 00:44:05,317
Tom, why do you stutter when I say that?
745
00:44:06,694 --> 00:44:09,071
Okay, I'll think about it.
746
00:44:09,155 --> 00:44:11,031
Somebody's at the door. See you at 8:00.
747
00:44:15,035 --> 00:44:16,537
Hi, guys.
748
00:44:19,957 --> 00:44:22,543
Been rehearsing since 10:00 this morning.
749
00:44:22,626 --> 00:44:24,795
Don't ask me why.
750
00:44:24,879 --> 00:44:26,755
Girl, nobody's making you do it with whips.
751
00:44:26,839 --> 00:44:28,716
You don't like the play, quit.
752
00:44:28,799 --> 00:44:31,218
Well, maybe if I knew what was going on.
753
00:44:31,302 --> 00:44:35,473
Twenty-two weeks rehearsing, and
still doesn't get the author's message.
754
00:44:35,556 --> 00:44:37,725
Tell me about last night.
755
00:44:37,808 --> 00:44:39,226
Well, it was very nice.
756
00:44:39,310 --> 00:44:43,439
He's... He's considerate and refined.
757
00:44:43,522 --> 00:44:47,067
He called the play The Onion
because life is like an onion.
758
00:44:47,151 --> 00:44:49,403
Peel away the skins, what have you got?
759
00:44:49,487 --> 00:44:51,947
A naked onion. Now shut up.
760
00:44:52,031 --> 00:44:54,867
All men are considerate
and refined the first time out.
761
00:44:54,950 --> 00:44:56,869
No, no. Tom's really different. He's...
762
00:44:56,952 --> 00:44:58,272
Well, he's an interior decorator.
763
00:44:59,413 --> 00:45:00,998
No. Come on.
764
00:45:01,081 --> 00:45:05,836
I'm not kidding. He loves art and
frilly, chintzy gingerbready things.
765
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,047
That's why he wants to see
this apartment so badly.
766
00:45:08,130 --> 00:45:09,757
He says he's got a lot of ideas.
767
00:45:10,591 --> 00:45:11,884
I'll bet he has.
768
00:45:12,843 --> 00:45:16,347
Look, honey, you've latched on
to a very high-grade mechanic.
769
00:45:16,430 --> 00:45:18,849
He's an interior decorator
like I'm an astronaut.
770
00:45:18,933 --> 00:45:21,810
First he relaxes you with the chintz bit.
771
00:45:21,894 --> 00:45:25,022
Then the next thing you know,
you're asking to see his apartment.
772
00:45:25,105 --> 00:45:26,649
I've already seen his apartment.
773
00:45:26,732 --> 00:45:27,733
What did I tell ya?
774
00:45:27,816 --> 00:45:28,984
That's as far as it went.
775
00:45:29,068 --> 00:45:30,986
Patience. He'll get there.
776
00:45:31,070 --> 00:45:32,655
Look, he was a perfect gentleman.
777
00:45:32,738 --> 00:45:35,115
I went to his apartment,
I had a couple of drinks.
778
00:45:35,199 --> 00:45:36,700
I got a little dizzy.
779
00:45:36,784 --> 00:45:39,870
So he brought me home and
kissed me on the forehead and left.
780
00:45:41,997 --> 00:45:44,500
Could be he is an interior decorator.
781
00:45:44,583 --> 00:45:46,877
The author says life's like an onion...
782
00:45:46,961 --> 00:45:51,006
Not only because it's got
skins, but also because it stinks.
783
00:45:51,090 --> 00:45:55,928
Look. Why don't you make
like a potato and get boiled?
784
00:45:56,053 --> 00:45:57,846
Now leave us alone.
785
00:45:57,930 --> 00:45:59,682
He's coming here at 8:00.
786
00:45:59,765 --> 00:46:02,685
Well, just remember to
keep him out in the hallway.
787
00:46:04,812 --> 00:46:06,939
Maybe I could tell him
it's my brother's apartment.
788
00:46:07,022 --> 00:46:08,983
You haven't got a brother.
789
00:46:09,066 --> 00:46:10,317
Well, he doesn't know that.
790
00:46:10,401 --> 00:46:13,112
He'll find out. Men
don't like women who lie.
791
00:46:13,195 --> 00:46:14,780
Besides, you got a great big doozy
792
00:46:14,863 --> 00:46:16,865
working for you right now. That's enough.
793
00:46:16,949 --> 00:46:20,661
Well, maybe we can stall him
until we rent another apartment.
794
00:46:20,744 --> 00:46:22,288
Do you realize what it would cost
795
00:46:22,371 --> 00:46:24,123
to decorate one as nicely as this?
796
00:46:26,959 --> 00:46:28,669
Wait a second.
797
00:46:30,796 --> 00:46:32,965
Wait a second.
798
00:46:33,048 --> 00:46:35,467
Now, just what piece of hanky-panky
799
00:46:35,551 --> 00:46:38,095
do you have cooking
in that twisted little mind?
800
00:46:45,519 --> 00:46:48,105
Oh! I just remembered.
801
00:46:48,188 --> 00:46:50,524
I got an appointment with
my dentist in Jersey City.
802
00:46:50,608 --> 00:46:52,298
Well, wait for me. My teeth are killing me.
803
00:46:52,318 --> 00:46:53,319
Halt.
804
00:46:53,444 --> 00:46:55,404
No one is leaving the premises.
805
00:46:55,487 --> 00:46:57,489
I am gonna put skirts in this apartment,
806
00:46:57,573 --> 00:46:59,074
and you two are gonna help me.
807
00:47:06,081 --> 00:47:08,000
Mmm-hmm.
808
00:47:08,083 --> 00:47:09,710
Ah, yes.
809
00:47:09,793 --> 00:47:11,295
English tailoring.
810
00:47:11,378 --> 00:47:13,964
But wearable. Wearable.
811
00:47:14,048 --> 00:47:15,090
Your husband's, ma'am?
812
00:47:15,174 --> 00:47:16,383
Mmm.
813
00:47:17,259 --> 00:47:19,178
Hardly worn. Hardly worn.
814
00:47:19,261 --> 00:47:20,763
Uh, he left me.
815
00:47:22,181 --> 00:47:24,600
I see. How long were you married?
816
00:47:26,810 --> 00:47:29,521
Well, I... I'd rather not talk
about it, if you don't mind.
817
00:47:29,605 --> 00:47:31,190
Oh, but I do mind.
818
00:47:31,273 --> 00:47:34,777
You see, I operate here under
the benevolence of a police license,
819
00:47:34,860 --> 00:47:38,656
and if I accept merchandise
of questionable origin,
820
00:47:38,739 --> 00:47:41,158
I jeopardize that license
and my own good name.
821
00:47:41,700 --> 00:47:44,745
Well! If you're
suggesting that I'm a thief...
822
00:47:44,828 --> 00:47:48,457
Well, you say you're married,
but I see you wear no band.
823
00:47:50,709 --> 00:47:54,171
Or could it be that the
vows were never spoken?
824
00:47:55,089 --> 00:47:56,924
Ah. Pity.
825
00:47:57,007 --> 00:47:58,217
You're in difficulty.
826
00:47:58,300 --> 00:48:01,053
But the shame is not in loving unwisely.
827
00:48:01,136 --> 00:48:05,849
The shame rests on him who
would sip the nectar, you might say,
828
00:48:05,933 --> 00:48:09,061
and take flight before
the blossom has fruited.
829
00:48:10,562 --> 00:48:11,980
Mr. O'Shea!
830
00:48:12,064 --> 00:48:13,107
What is it, girl?
831
00:48:13,190 --> 00:48:14,858
Oh, I'm afraid that you have...
832
00:48:14,942 --> 00:48:16,131
Oh, now, don't be afraid, child.
833
00:48:16,151 --> 00:48:18,112
Don't be afraid. Have courage.
834
00:48:18,195 --> 00:48:22,908
After all, it's the most
natural and sacred of miracles.
835
00:48:22,991 --> 00:48:26,787
I'll, uh... I'll lend you $100 on the lot,
836
00:48:27,746 --> 00:48:29,248
in spite of the tailoring.
837
00:48:40,843 --> 00:48:43,762
Uh, you sure you won't sell them?
838
00:48:43,846 --> 00:48:45,889
Still hoping the rascal will return.
839
00:48:47,141 --> 00:48:50,352
They rarely do. They rarely do.
840
00:48:50,436 --> 00:48:53,313
No, no, you... You make
a new life for yourself.
841
00:48:53,397 --> 00:48:55,149
Develop an interest.
842
00:48:55,232 --> 00:48:56,734
Have you any musical ability?
843
00:48:56,817 --> 00:48:58,152
Uh, no, sir.
844
00:48:58,235 --> 00:49:00,279
Oh? Well, here.
845
00:49:00,362 --> 00:49:02,990
Plunk on this to while away the days.
846
00:49:03,073 --> 00:49:06,285
And when the time comes I'll
have a perambulator for you.
847
00:49:06,368 --> 00:49:07,995
Watch your step now as you go out.
848
00:49:08,078 --> 00:49:10,414
You've got to take
great care of yourself now.
849
00:49:10,497 --> 00:49:12,332
Goodbye. Goodbye.
850
00:49:12,416 --> 00:49:14,209
God bless you.
851
00:49:15,252 --> 00:49:17,045
Oh, no.
852
00:49:17,129 --> 00:49:19,173
They can't fool O'Shea.
853
00:49:29,641 --> 00:49:31,852
Call me at the Plaza
as soon as you find out.
854
00:49:31,935 --> 00:49:33,103
Harvey, will you relax?
855
00:49:33,187 --> 00:49:34,563
The paintings are all right.
856
00:49:34,646 --> 00:49:36,148
Call me anyway.
857
00:49:36,231 --> 00:49:39,610
00. I'm gonna push the watch up to 8:00.
858
00:49:39,693 --> 00:49:42,070
She can't possibly leave me
in the hall for a whole hour.
859
00:49:42,154 --> 00:49:43,822
She's gotta ask me in. Talk to you later.
860
00:49:43,906 --> 00:49:45,240
Mmm, yeah.
861
00:50:06,386 --> 00:50:07,846
Well, hi, Tom. Hi.
862
00:50:08,764 --> 00:50:10,084
What are you doing here so early?
863
00:50:10,140 --> 00:50:11,225
Early?
864
00:50:11,308 --> 00:50:13,310
We did make it for 8:00, didn't we?
865
00:50:13,393 --> 00:50:14,853
But it's only 7:00.
866
00:50:14,937 --> 00:50:16,438
7:00?
867
00:50:17,231 --> 00:50:18,273
Well, it is racing a bit.
868
00:50:18,357 --> 00:50:21,318
I guess I am early. I'm
sorry. I'll just wait out here.
869
00:50:21,401 --> 00:50:24,071
Don't be silly. Come on in.
870
00:50:25,489 --> 00:50:27,282
Well, come on!
871
00:50:46,009 --> 00:50:48,679
Uh, Tom, this is Luther.
872
00:50:48,762 --> 00:50:50,013
Hi, neighbor!
873
00:50:50,097 --> 00:50:53,308
Luth, will you get my guest a
drink? I'll just be one minute.
874
00:50:53,392 --> 00:50:54,434
What are you drinkin'?
875
00:50:54,518 --> 00:50:56,895
Uh, uh, nothing, thank you.
876
00:50:56,979 --> 00:50:59,064
You name it, we've got it.
877
00:50:59,314 --> 00:51:03,026
Uh, if you don't mind
I'll just browse around.
878
00:51:08,407 --> 00:51:11,076
How are they getting along out there?
879
00:51:11,159 --> 00:51:12,578
Okay, I guess.
880
00:51:12,661 --> 00:51:13,767
I'd sure like to meet the guy,
881
00:51:13,787 --> 00:51:16,832
but I look like I been working
out with the Green Bay Packers.
882
00:51:21,545 --> 00:51:22,963
He's cute, isn't he?
883
00:51:23,046 --> 00:51:25,007
Not from this angle.
884
00:51:28,093 --> 00:51:29,761
He can walk, can't he?
885
00:51:29,845 --> 00:51:31,096
Sure.
886
00:51:31,179 --> 00:51:33,015
You'd better watch yourself with this guy.
887
00:51:33,098 --> 00:51:35,350
He's gotta be a wolf, from what I can see.
888
00:51:40,147 --> 00:51:42,024
Tom, what's the trouble?
889
00:51:42,107 --> 00:51:44,860
Oh, no trouble at all. I was
just checking the upholstery.
890
00:51:44,943 --> 00:51:46,445
It's very fine. Very fine indeed.
891
00:51:46,528 --> 00:51:47,738
Oh.
892
00:51:47,821 --> 00:51:50,407
Well, I'm all ready. What's on the agenda?
893
00:51:50,490 --> 00:51:52,409
Well, I thought we'd catch a movie.
894
00:51:52,492 --> 00:51:54,244
Then I'd take you for a bite to eat.
895
00:51:54,328 --> 00:51:58,332
And then I'd like to talk to you
about some exciting ideas I have
896
00:51:58,415 --> 00:52:00,125
for redoing my apartment.
897
00:52:00,208 --> 00:52:01,960
Wonderful.
898
00:52:05,088 --> 00:52:08,634
I don't know about that guy.
What's he look like to you?
899
00:52:08,717 --> 00:52:11,178
Just another pretty face.
900
00:52:19,895 --> 00:52:23,231
I tell ya, if there's one thing I
cannot stand, it's a clean Italian movie.
901
00:52:23,315 --> 00:52:26,652
Well, Luigi
Brocatelli always plays such a wolf.
902
00:52:26,735 --> 00:52:29,112
Imagine him as an 80-year-old shoemaker!
903
00:52:29,196 --> 00:52:31,531
I wonder where there's a good
spaghetti place around here.
904
00:52:31,615 --> 00:52:33,533
Hey, hiya, hotshot! Paul.
905
00:52:33,617 --> 00:52:34,660
Guys, look who's here!
906
00:52:34,743 --> 00:52:35,744
Hi, Tommy!
907
00:52:35,827 --> 00:52:36,912
Hi, Tom. How are you?
908
00:52:36,995 --> 00:52:37,996
Hi. How are you?
909
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:40,332
Say, uh, folks, I'd like you to meet Joan.
910
00:52:40,415 --> 00:52:42,459
Joan, this is Kitty and Paul
and Jeff and Helen.
911
00:52:42,542 --> 00:52:43,710
Hello, Joan.
912
00:52:43,794 --> 00:52:45,275
Long time no see, Tom.
Where you been hiding?
913
00:52:45,295 --> 00:52:46,546
Oh, at the office mostly.
914
00:52:46,630 --> 00:52:47,798
Been very busy.
915
00:52:47,881 --> 00:52:49,216
Hey, let's go some place.
916
00:52:49,299 --> 00:52:50,384
Dressed like this?
917
00:52:50,467 --> 00:52:52,219
Really, some other time, huh?
918
00:52:52,302 --> 00:52:54,179
You're close by. How about your place?
919
00:52:54,262 --> 00:52:57,224
Paul's mother is staying with
us. How about your place?
920
00:52:57,307 --> 00:53:00,185
The painters are coming tomorrow
and the whole joint's torn up.
921
00:53:00,268 --> 00:53:02,938
How about your place,
Tom? We won't stay up late.
922
00:53:03,021 --> 00:53:04,940
Uh, well, I'd love to have
you over to my place,
923
00:53:05,023 --> 00:53:06,755
but, you see, the woman
next door is very sick
924
00:53:06,775 --> 00:53:08,340
and the doctors are
coming in and going out.
925
00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:09,403
It's terrible.
926
00:53:10,570 --> 00:53:12,386
Word of honor, I give you
a call next week, all right?
927
00:53:12,406 --> 00:53:13,845
Gee, it was awfully nice to see you.
928
00:53:13,865 --> 00:53:15,138
Good night. Nice to see you. Good night.
929
00:53:15,158 --> 00:53:18,996
Gee, I'm awfully sorry about
not having you over to my place.
930
00:53:19,162 --> 00:53:23,041
I have an idea. Why don't
you all come over to my place?
931
00:53:25,460 --> 00:53:27,379
Why didn't I think of that?
932
00:53:29,798 --> 00:53:31,633
Four scotches, one vodka...
933
00:53:31,717 --> 00:53:33,740
Harve, the least you could do
is come out and say hello.
934
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:36,013
I will not go out there and say hello.
935
00:53:36,096 --> 00:53:38,807
Look, I just told 'em we'd stop
here on the way to Joan's place.
936
00:53:38,890 --> 00:53:40,976
Okay, so take 'em to Joan's place.
937
00:53:41,101 --> 00:53:43,895
Joan has no place! My place is her place.
938
00:53:43,979 --> 00:53:45,293
And I couldn't take 'em to my place,
939
00:53:45,313 --> 00:53:46,503
because your place is my place,
940
00:53:46,523 --> 00:53:48,984
and this gang knows my place,
so I had to come to your place.
941
00:53:59,077 --> 00:54:01,997
I am seriously thinking
of destroying myself.
942
00:54:02,539 --> 00:54:04,583
What will you do when I'm no longer here?
943
00:54:04,666 --> 00:54:06,314
Or will you move me out of that place, too?
944
00:54:06,334 --> 00:54:08,754
Harvey. Harvey, don't be bitter.
945
00:54:08,837 --> 00:54:11,339
You know it pains me to do these things.
946
00:54:11,423 --> 00:54:13,133
I told you to call the police days ago.
947
00:54:13,216 --> 00:54:14,593
I'm worried about my paintings.
948
00:54:14,676 --> 00:54:17,512
Well, stop worrying
about 'em. I'll find 'em.
949
00:54:17,596 --> 00:54:19,286
You'll find them? Well,
I... I didn't mean that.
950
00:54:19,306 --> 00:54:21,600
You see, they were temporarily
removed for safety's sake.
951
00:54:21,683 --> 00:54:23,602
Yeah. Uh, they should
be back any... Any, uh...
952
00:54:23,685 --> 00:54:26,063
What happened to my
paintings, Tom? Nothing.
953
00:54:26,146 --> 00:54:27,272
Believe me, they're safe.
954
00:54:27,355 --> 00:54:29,107
She redid my apartment, then she took
955
00:54:29,191 --> 00:54:30,714
the paintings down 'cause they didn't fit.
956
00:54:30,734 --> 00:54:31,860
But as far as being lost...
957
00:54:31,943 --> 00:54:32,944
Where are my paintings?
958
00:54:33,028 --> 00:54:34,071
I don't know.
959
00:54:34,154 --> 00:54:36,782
You don't know? You don't have...
960
00:54:38,116 --> 00:54:40,077
Don't know? Don't know...
961
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:42,871
If you... I'm telling you...
You... You don't know my...
962
00:54:42,954 --> 00:54:44,978
Oh, hello. Young lady, would
you please get off the phone?
963
00:54:44,998 --> 00:54:46,166
I've gotta call the police.
964
00:54:46,249 --> 00:54:48,418
Yes, get off the line.
Thank you. I... What is that?
965
00:54:48,502 --> 00:54:50,108
No, I don't want to hear
about your martinis, no.
966
00:54:50,128 --> 00:54:51,922
This is an emergency.
967
00:54:52,005 --> 00:54:54,758
Room service, I want the
police. No, no, I don't want the...
968
00:54:54,841 --> 00:54:58,261
What? No, I... I don't want two
Scotch and four champagnes!
969
00:54:58,345 --> 00:55:00,263
All I want is the police. Yes!
970
00:55:00,347 --> 00:55:03,183
Oh, she wants them. Well,
why don't you send "em over...
971
00:55:03,266 --> 00:55:05,769
No, look, I want the police,
now. Do you hear? Please get...
972
00:55:05,852 --> 00:55:08,188
Harvey, you put the police onto that girl
973
00:55:08,271 --> 00:55:10,941
and I'll have to put your
wife onto those paintings.
974
00:55:11,024 --> 00:55:12,234
My friend Milford.
975
00:55:12,317 --> 00:55:14,069
My very best friend.
976
00:55:15,070 --> 00:55:16,655
Harve, go back to your apartment
977
00:55:16,738 --> 00:55:18,824
and, word of honor, I won't bug you again.
978
00:55:18,907 --> 00:55:21,368
Oh, all I want is a good night's sleep.
979
00:55:21,451 --> 00:55:24,267
My good night's sleep and my oil
paintings. Now, is that asking too much?
980
00:55:24,287 --> 00:55:26,206
No. No, I think you're
being very reasonable.
981
00:55:26,289 --> 00:55:28,208
I'll give you a hand.
982
00:55:29,376 --> 00:55:30,877
Here.
983
00:55:30,961 --> 00:55:32,337
Let me help you into your pants.
984
00:55:32,420 --> 00:55:34,214
I'll put on my own pants, thank you.
985
00:55:34,297 --> 00:55:36,279
Just trying to be of some
help. I don't want your help.
986
00:55:36,299 --> 00:55:37,801
You've got the touch of disaster.
987
00:55:37,884 --> 00:55:39,302
You just stay away. That's all.
988
00:55:40,053 --> 00:55:41,388
My paintings.
989
00:55:42,764 --> 00:55:44,141
That's fantastic.
990
00:55:44,224 --> 00:55:46,059
Absolutely, completely fantastic.
991
00:55:46,143 --> 00:55:47,144
What is?
992
00:55:47,227 --> 00:55:49,104
You just handed me my trousers, right?
993
00:55:49,187 --> 00:55:51,064
That's all. I just handed 'em to you.
994
00:55:52,566 --> 00:55:54,317
The zipper's stuck.
995
00:55:58,905 --> 00:56:01,116
She's never been this late without calling.
996
00:56:01,199 --> 00:56:04,161
It's only 4:30.
Why the sweat? She's no kid.
997
00:56:04,244 --> 00:56:08,165
Try information again. Baffle.
B-A-F-F-L-E. Uh, 58th Street Towers.
998
00:56:08,248 --> 00:56:11,126
Information already said
there is no phone for that name.
999
00:56:11,209 --> 00:56:13,044
Let's grab a cab and go over there.
1000
00:56:13,128 --> 00:56:15,589
Why are we running? We
don't even know the apartment!
1001
00:56:15,672 --> 00:56:18,049
We know he has the penthouse,
and that's enough.
1002
00:56:43,909 --> 00:56:45,243
All right, all right.
1003
00:56:46,494 --> 00:56:47,621
Ah, wait, wait!
1004
00:56:51,374 --> 00:56:54,878
So that's how it is, is it?
You miserable, depraved beast!
1005
00:56:54,961 --> 00:56:57,339
Luth, take care of him while I get Joan.
1006
00:56:57,422 --> 00:56:59,090
What?
1007
00:56:59,174 --> 00:57:01,509
Wait a second!
This doesn't look like the...
1008
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:11,269
All you had to do was
lift a phone at the hotel.
1009
00:57:11,353 --> 00:57:13,355
You can do that from any position.
1010
00:57:13,438 --> 00:57:15,941
We were having so much fun,
who bothered to look at the clock?
1011
00:57:16,024 --> 00:57:19,319
Do you realize that we called every
place in town, including the morgue?
1012
00:57:20,946 --> 00:57:22,447
By the way,
1013
00:57:22,530 --> 00:57:24,699
if Tom was with you,
1014
00:57:24,783 --> 00:57:26,952
who did Luther punch in the face?
1015
00:57:27,035 --> 00:57:28,787
Hmm. Must have been Tom's friend.
1016
00:57:28,870 --> 00:57:30,956
He went back to sleep at Tom's apartment.
1017
00:57:32,123 --> 00:57:33,917
Oh. Well, anyone who's stupid enough
1018
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:35,961
to answer the door at 4:30 in the morning
1019
00:57:36,044 --> 00:57:37,921
deserves a punch in the face.
1020
00:57:38,004 --> 00:57:41,466
I... It's getting pretty serious
between Tom and me.
1021
00:57:41,549 --> 00:57:44,052
Just these few days?
1022
00:57:44,135 --> 00:57:46,263
Takes me longer to
break in a pair of shoes.
1023
00:57:48,181 --> 00:57:49,724
Boy, half a dozen times last night
1024
00:57:49,808 --> 00:57:51,184
I wanted to tell him the truth,
1025
00:57:51,268 --> 00:57:53,228
but I was afraid.
1026
00:57:53,311 --> 00:57:55,689
Well, just listen to Mother Audrey.
1027
00:57:55,772 --> 00:57:57,274
Don't.
1028
00:58:03,947 --> 00:58:06,324
Do you know how to roast a duck?
1029
00:58:06,408 --> 00:58:08,410
Me? Oh, that's pretty good.
1030
00:58:08,493 --> 00:58:11,121
Ask me if I could roast a
cottage cheese, I might help you.
1031
00:58:11,204 --> 00:58:14,708
Well, Tom's favorite dish is duck I'orange,
1032
00:58:14,791 --> 00:58:16,793
so I invited him up for dinner.
1033
00:58:18,253 --> 00:58:19,963
Do you get pains in your head?
1034
00:58:20,046 --> 00:58:21,236
Well, I couldn't tell him I can't cook.
1035
00:58:21,256 --> 00:58:23,091
Why couldn't you tell him you can't cook?
1036
00:58:23,174 --> 00:58:26,761
All you have to say is, "I can't
cook." That means, "I can't cook."
1037
00:58:26,886 --> 00:58:29,431
You keep getting in deeper
and deeper and deeper.
1038
00:58:29,556 --> 00:58:31,683
But he comes up and sees
this beautiful kitchen
1039
00:58:31,766 --> 00:58:33,435
with all this beautiful equipment...
1040
00:58:33,518 --> 00:58:35,437
But a duck! I mean, The best French chef
1041
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:37,355
in town can't make a decent duck I'orange.
1042
00:58:37,439 --> 00:58:39,566
That's with brandy and
oranges, the whole schmear.
1043
00:58:39,649 --> 00:58:42,569
Well, how am I going
to learn if I don't try?
1044
00:58:42,652 --> 00:58:44,154
You know, you're not well, Joanie.
1045
00:58:44,237 --> 00:58:46,031
You're not at all well.
1046
00:58:46,990 --> 00:58:48,908
Well, I am gonna roast that duck.
1047
00:58:48,992 --> 00:58:50,327
Now, if you don't want to help...
1048
00:58:50,410 --> 00:58:52,120
All right, I'll help, I'll help.
1049
00:58:53,204 --> 00:58:55,707
But what's gonna happen to that duck
1050
00:58:55,832 --> 00:58:57,292
shouldn't happen to a dog.
1051
00:59:00,003 --> 00:59:02,380
Hmm. Mother and child.
1052
00:59:04,049 --> 00:59:05,133
Let me smell.
1053
00:59:05,216 --> 00:59:06,551
Mmm. Gravy smells good.
1054
00:59:06,634 --> 00:59:07,927
Mmm.
1055
00:59:08,011 --> 00:59:11,097
You think we oughta add a
little more brandy and Cointreau?
1056
00:59:12,515 --> 00:59:15,226
Gosh, I don't know. We must
have a quart in there already.
1057
00:59:15,310 --> 00:59:17,562
I mean, I'd hate to have him
get drunk on a duck.
1058
00:59:17,645 --> 00:59:19,606
Mmm. Hey, you'd better
get washed and polished.
1059
00:59:19,689 --> 00:59:21,566
He'll be here very soon.
1060
00:59:21,649 --> 00:59:23,234
What about this kitchen?
1061
00:59:23,318 --> 00:59:25,198
Don't worry. I'll manage,
and then I'll cut out.
1062
00:59:25,236 --> 00:59:26,696
I'm sure you don't want me around.
1063
00:59:26,780 --> 00:59:29,157
Gee, thanks, Audrey. I appreciate that.
1064
00:59:44,589 --> 00:59:45,882
Ah.
1065
00:59:48,093 --> 00:59:51,304
Let's see. "Baste every 15 minutes."
1066
00:59:53,098 --> 00:59:55,100
"Keep oven at 275."
1067
00:59:56,142 --> 00:59:57,811
Mmm-hmm.
1068
00:59:59,270 --> 01:00:00,605
Mmm-hmm.
1069
01:00:01,689 --> 01:00:03,858
Oh! Oh!
1070
01:00:03,942 --> 01:00:06,027
Oh, Joan! Joan, Joan!
Joan, the duck's on fire!
1071
01:00:07,278 --> 01:00:08,279
Joan, look! The duck!
1072
01:00:08,363 --> 01:00:10,782
Oh, don't just stand there! Do something!
1073
01:00:14,327 --> 01:00:15,829
Ooh! What?
1074
01:00:15,912 --> 01:00:16,913
Do you wanna ruin it?
1075
01:00:16,996 --> 01:00:17,997
My duck!
1076
01:00:18,081 --> 01:00:19,457
The fork! Get the serving fork!
1077
01:00:19,541 --> 01:00:22,043
Quick! Don't stand there! Move! Fork!
1078
01:00:22,127 --> 01:00:23,920
Oh... Here. My duck!
1079
01:00:24,003 --> 01:00:25,839
All right, don't panic. My beautiful duck!
1080
01:00:25,922 --> 01:00:27,841
All right...
1081
01:00:27,924 --> 01:00:30,051
The broom! Get the broom! Quick!
1082
01:00:30,135 --> 01:00:31,678
Oh! Oh!
1083
01:00:31,761 --> 01:00:32,804
Don't panic! Don't panic!
1084
01:00:32,887 --> 01:00:33,888
I'm not! I'm not!
1085
01:00:33,972 --> 01:00:35,974
Oh! Oh, I can't watch!
1086
01:00:36,057 --> 01:00:38,309
Oh, I can't watch! Oh, don't ruin it!
1087
01:00:38,393 --> 01:00:40,395
Oh! Oh! Oh, no!
1088
01:00:40,478 --> 01:00:42,689
Oh, you ruined my duck!
1089
01:00:48,153 --> 01:00:49,904
Yeah, and she'll be right over.
1090
01:00:49,988 --> 01:00:52,407
And please pack it well.
1091
01:00:52,490 --> 01:00:53,992
Thank you.
1092
01:00:54,075 --> 01:00:57,287
It's Andre's on 23rd Street.
He'll have the duck all packed.
1093
01:00:57,370 --> 01:01:01,040
I'll clean up the slop and
set the table before I leave.
1094
01:01:01,124 --> 01:01:03,751
Buck up. It was only a duck.
1095
01:01:04,919 --> 01:01:06,546
But she was so beautiful.
1096
01:01:08,173 --> 01:01:10,008
We all have to go some time.
1097
01:01:45,627 --> 01:01:47,295
No duck.
1098
01:02:14,447 --> 01:02:15,949
Whew.
1099
01:02:29,587 --> 01:02:30,922
Ah!
1100
01:02:48,856 --> 01:02:50,922
Hello, Mr. Milford. Anything
to be cleaned or pressed?
1101
01:02:50,942 --> 01:02:52,131
No, Lennie. Thank you very much.
1102
01:02:52,151 --> 01:02:53,194
See you next week.
1103
01:02:53,278 --> 01:02:56,322
Hey, wait. Wait. Come
to think of it, come inside.
1104
01:02:57,907 --> 01:03:01,327
You'd better take this suit because
I've been living in it for a week.
1105
01:03:04,956 --> 01:03:07,834
Tomorrow okay? Yep. Tomorrow'll be fine.
1106
01:03:07,917 --> 01:03:11,087
No. Come to think of it, make it next week.
1107
01:03:13,339 --> 01:03:16,092
Better yet, I'll call for it myself.
1108
01:03:17,385 --> 01:03:19,345
Oh. Thanks, Mr. Milford.
1109
01:03:19,429 --> 01:03:21,931
That's all right. Bye, Lennie.
1110
01:03:39,449 --> 01:03:42,869
"Maid to order. This apartment
serviced by Joan Howell."
1111
01:03:42,952 --> 01:03:45,163
Doesn't sound Japanese.
1112
01:03:45,246 --> 01:03:47,624
"Attention, maid, discontinue service..."
1113
01:03:52,086 --> 01:03:53,254
Joan is my maid!
1114
01:03:54,672 --> 01:03:55,715
Well, I'll be a...
1115
01:04:21,199 --> 01:04:22,742
Tom!
1116
01:04:50,061 --> 01:04:51,688
Tom?
1117
01:04:56,609 --> 01:04:58,111
Uh...
1118
01:04:58,194 --> 01:04:59,445
Tom!
1119
01:05:07,161 --> 01:05:08,871
Taxi!
1120
01:05:09,956 --> 01:05:13,042
I'm sorry. I don't carry your kind, Maxine!
1121
01:05:30,184 --> 01:05:31,728
Well, you've got your big, fat nerve.
1122
01:05:31,811 --> 01:05:33,980
Ma'am, I wonder if I could
trouble you for a dime.
1123
01:05:34,063 --> 01:05:35,837
I wonder if I could trouble
you to go soak your head!
1124
01:05:35,857 --> 01:05:38,005
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take
the booth, but I have a problem.
1125
01:05:38,025 --> 01:05:39,132
Now, if I could have that dime...
1126
01:05:39,152 --> 01:05:41,612
Why don't you just take it?
You've taken everything else.
1127
01:05:41,696 --> 01:05:43,614
Only the lowest, the meanest, the nastiest,
1128
01:05:43,698 --> 01:05:45,867
the cheapest kind of person would...
1129
01:05:46,909 --> 01:05:48,745
He took it.
1130
01:05:48,828 --> 01:05:50,872
He took my dime!
1131
01:05:51,164 --> 01:05:53,249
Hello, Sam? Sam, Tom Milford.
1132
01:05:53,332 --> 01:05:54,792
Yeah, listen, don't press my suit.
1133
01:05:54,876 --> 01:05:56,002
Just send it back.
1134
01:05:56,085 --> 01:05:57,545
No, no, don't unpress it.
1135
01:05:57,628 --> 01:05:59,505
Just send it back. And hurry. Okay.
1136
01:05:59,589 --> 01:06:01,466
Oh, Sam! Sam. I'm not at home.
1137
01:06:01,549 --> 01:06:03,384
I'm in a phone booth on 62nd Street,
1138
01:06:03,468 --> 01:06:05,428
right across the street
from my place. Right.
1139
01:06:05,845 --> 01:06:10,266
He grabs my arm and bends my
fingers back until I give him that dime.
1140
01:06:10,349 --> 01:06:12,393
Did ya ever!
1141
01:06:12,477 --> 01:06:15,188
It's the Russians. They're
sprinklin' something around.
1142
01:06:15,271 --> 01:06:17,023
Makes everybody crazy.
1143
01:06:17,190 --> 01:06:19,066
Oh, and, Sam, Sam, one more thing.
1144
01:06:19,150 --> 01:06:22,695
I stole a dime from an old
lady. Would you send that, too?
1145
01:06:22,779 --> 01:06:25,239
Why doesn't somebody call a cop?
1146
01:06:25,323 --> 01:06:28,117
What happened? That
man stole that woman's dime!
1147
01:06:28,201 --> 01:06:30,661
Her diamond? No, no. Her dime.
1148
01:06:30,745 --> 01:06:31,829
Hey, what's going on here?
1149
01:06:31,913 --> 01:06:33,831
That man stole that woman's diamond.
1150
01:06:33,915 --> 01:06:36,083
If there was a red-blooded man around,
1151
01:06:36,167 --> 01:06:39,587
he'd go in that booth
and teach that guy a lesson.
1152
01:06:39,670 --> 01:06:42,632
You got more blood
than I got, lady. You go in.
1153
01:06:43,174 --> 01:06:45,176
Well, I never carry
anything valuable with me.
1154
01:06:45,259 --> 01:06:47,678
I don't even carry green stamps with me.
1155
01:06:47,762 --> 01:06:49,806
All right, ladies,
break it up. Break it up.
1156
01:06:49,889 --> 01:06:53,059
Officer, that fiend threw me
bodily out of the phone booth
1157
01:06:53,142 --> 01:06:54,811
and took my dime!
1158
01:06:54,894 --> 01:06:57,688
I'm a witness, Officer.
I saw every bit of it.
1159
01:06:57,772 --> 01:07:00,608
Where were you when she
was screamin' for help? Yeah!
1160
01:07:00,691 --> 01:07:02,652
I was havin' my ears pierced.
1161
01:07:09,325 --> 01:07:12,286
Officer, would you mind waiting a
moment? I haven't a thing to wear.
1162
01:07:12,370 --> 01:07:14,205
Outside. Yeah, but...
1163
01:07:14,288 --> 01:07:16,833
Outside.
1164
01:07:19,293 --> 01:07:21,963
Believe it or not, I was on
my way to a duck dinner.
1165
01:07:22,046 --> 01:07:24,423
Oh, and I thought you were
waiting for the 4:00 dog sled.
1166
01:07:24,507 --> 01:07:26,843
Well, I know it's unusual,
but I can explain everything.
1167
01:07:26,926 --> 01:07:27,969
Sure!
1168
01:07:28,052 --> 01:07:31,430
You're Nanook of the North
and I am Admiral Byrd.
1169
01:07:32,306 --> 01:07:33,474
You gotta believe me.
1170
01:07:33,558 --> 01:07:36,310
I'm a victim of circumstance,
and I'm waiting for my suit.
1171
01:07:36,394 --> 01:07:39,689
Don't let him talk you out of it,
Officer. He's some kind of a pre-vert.
1172
01:07:39,772 --> 01:07:42,066
I can handle this, lady. Let's take a walk.
1173
01:07:42,149 --> 01:07:44,735
Officer, you gotta believe me.
I'm as sane as you are.
1174
01:07:44,819 --> 01:07:47,196
Sure you are. Saner.
1175
01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:50,116
I asked for this beat. Come on.
1176
01:07:50,825 --> 01:07:54,120
But what about my dime?
Wait. Look. Look. Hold it. Hold it.
1177
01:07:54,203 --> 01:07:57,331
I told you I was just waiting
for my suit. Lennie. Lennie.
1178
01:07:57,415 --> 01:07:59,250
This lady over here gets the dime, please.
1179
01:07:59,333 --> 01:08:00,793
Get in there and put it on.
1180
01:08:00,877 --> 01:08:02,378
And let me tell you something.
1181
01:08:02,461 --> 01:08:04,694
If I catch you causing any
more disturbances around here,
1182
01:08:04,714 --> 01:08:07,258
I'm gonna throw you in the
cookie jar and slap the lid on.
1183
01:08:07,341 --> 01:08:09,427
You understand? Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
1184
01:08:11,596 --> 01:08:12,763
Officer!
1185
01:08:12,847 --> 01:08:13,973
All right, all right!
1186
01:08:14,056 --> 01:08:15,308
Break it up!
1187
01:08:15,391 --> 01:08:16,706
What's the matter? Ain't you never seen
1188
01:08:16,726 --> 01:08:18,853
a naked man in a phone booth before?
1189
01:08:18,936 --> 01:08:21,230
Break it up! Come on! Move on!
1190
01:08:23,190 --> 01:08:25,192
Well, I knew you'd been here
1191
01:08:25,276 --> 01:08:27,194
when I saw your wallet
was left on the table.
1192
01:08:27,278 --> 01:08:28,738
Well, I thought I'd just dash out
1193
01:08:28,821 --> 01:08:30,615
and have my suit pressed
while I was waiting.
1194
01:08:31,365 --> 01:08:33,534
Mmm. This duck is the greatest.
1195
01:08:34,368 --> 01:08:36,495
Why, it's better than Andre's.
1196
01:08:36,579 --> 01:08:38,289
Where'd you learn to cook so well?
1197
01:08:38,372 --> 01:08:40,666
Oh, there are tricks.
1198
01:08:40,750 --> 01:08:43,586
Say, uh, are you just as
good at housekeeping?
1199
01:08:43,669 --> 01:08:46,005
Mmm. I'm even better.
1200
01:08:46,088 --> 01:08:49,091
Career girl, a cook, a housekeeper.
1201
01:08:49,175 --> 01:08:50,468
Wow.
1202
01:08:50,551 --> 01:08:53,137
Why, you're, uh... You're quite a catch.
1203
01:08:53,220 --> 01:08:56,057
It's going to take an awful lot
of husband to keep up with you.
1204
01:08:56,140 --> 01:08:58,726
Or aren't you interested
in getting married?
1205
01:08:58,809 --> 01:09:00,561
Now, what girl isn't?
1206
01:09:00,645 --> 01:09:02,521
Have you got anybody in mind?
1207
01:09:02,605 --> 01:09:04,398
Mmm-mmm. Not yet.
1208
01:09:04,941 --> 01:09:06,130
Well, what's he got to be like?
1209
01:09:06,150 --> 01:09:07,234
Oh, I'm wide open.
1210
01:09:07,318 --> 01:09:11,280
Preferably, uh, rich,
handsome, uh, personable?
1211
01:09:11,364 --> 01:09:15,409
Well, you aim for
the moon and settle for the best.
1212
01:09:15,910 --> 01:09:17,787
Well, you should have no trouble at all.
1213
01:09:17,870 --> 01:09:20,122
I mean, you're pretty,
1214
01:09:20,206 --> 01:09:22,375
uh, gifted,
1215
01:09:22,458 --> 01:09:24,377
you've got a lovely apartment.
1216
01:09:24,460 --> 01:09:27,088
Excuse me.
1217
01:09:27,171 --> 01:09:29,215
In fact, you've got a lot
of things going for you.
1218
01:09:31,217 --> 01:09:35,721
Uh, well, uh, what are
you looking for in a girl?
1219
01:09:36,055 --> 01:09:39,016
Well, I want everything to
be in the right place, of course.
1220
01:09:39,100 --> 01:09:40,685
But there's one quality above all
1221
01:09:40,768 --> 01:09:43,437
that, well, to me is just a must.
1222
01:09:43,521 --> 01:09:44,814
Honesty.
1223
01:09:47,608 --> 01:09:49,808
You see, I believe if a girl
is beautiful on the inside,
1224
01:09:49,860 --> 01:09:52,279
she can't help but be
beautiful on the outside.
1225
01:09:52,363 --> 01:09:54,198
It's simple as that.
1226
01:09:54,490 --> 01:09:56,617
Um...
1227
01:09:56,701 --> 01:09:58,577
Well, uh,
1228
01:09:58,661 --> 01:10:01,372
I... I expect to be leaving here soon.
1229
01:10:02,248 --> 01:10:04,000
Oh?
1230
01:10:04,083 --> 01:10:05,167
Where?
1231
01:10:06,252 --> 01:10:08,004
Well, I'm... I'm not sure.
1232
01:10:09,130 --> 01:10:10,410
You will let me know, won't you?
1233
01:10:12,591 --> 01:10:13,634
Do you want to know?
1234
01:10:14,635 --> 01:10:15,636
I want to know.
1235
01:10:17,221 --> 01:10:19,557
Oh, the... Wine.
1236
01:10:30,192 --> 01:10:33,112
There I am, on 62nd Street in my underwear,
1237
01:10:33,195 --> 01:10:35,156
and I can't even raise a dime.
1238
01:10:36,157 --> 01:10:37,491
What'd she do with your suits?
1239
01:10:37,575 --> 01:10:39,452
I have no idea.
1240
01:10:39,535 --> 01:10:40,828
She probably sold 'em.
1241
01:10:40,911 --> 01:10:42,413
Nah. She's not a thief.
1242
01:10:42,496 --> 01:10:44,457
She's not a compulsive liar either.
1243
01:10:44,540 --> 01:10:46,709
She's just a... Just a bush leaguer,
1244
01:10:46,792 --> 01:10:48,294
trying to make a big impression.
1245
01:10:48,377 --> 01:10:52,214
She saw an opportunity to live
it up for 10 days, she grabbed it.
1246
01:10:52,298 --> 01:10:54,633
Hmm. Uh, when are you
due back from the coast?
1247
01:10:54,717 --> 01:10:55,926
Day after tomorrow.
1248
01:10:56,010 --> 01:10:58,137
Good. Maybe things can get
back to normal around here.
1249
01:10:58,220 --> 01:11:00,681
There's an awful lot of work
piled up on your desk.
1250
01:11:01,682 --> 01:11:04,602
Harve, I was thinking of, uh,
1251
01:11:04,685 --> 01:11:06,812
delaying my return for a few days.
1252
01:11:06,896 --> 01:11:08,898
Oh, no, you're not.
1253
01:11:08,981 --> 01:11:11,901
What concern is it of yours?
I mean, it's my affair.
1254
01:11:11,984 --> 01:11:15,279
Your affairs have a remarkable
way of becoming my affairs.
1255
01:11:15,362 --> 01:11:16,489
Now, I've had it, Tom.
1256
01:11:16,572 --> 01:11:19,325
People waking me at 5:00 in
the morning to take a punch at me.
1257
01:11:19,450 --> 01:11:22,328
Moving around all hours of the
night like a wandering nomad.
1258
01:11:22,411 --> 01:11:24,872
Look, if the girl moves,
I'll never see her again.
1259
01:11:25,081 --> 01:11:28,125
And, uh, I want to see her again.
1260
01:11:28,209 --> 01:11:29,899
Now, what in the world
do you want with a dame
1261
01:11:29,919 --> 01:11:31,837
who's deceived you
from the moment she met you?
1262
01:11:31,921 --> 01:11:34,090
I like her. It's just that simple. Yeah.
1263
01:11:34,173 --> 01:11:36,333
You can pick up that phone
and call any one of 50 girls
1264
01:11:36,383 --> 01:11:38,063
who are a darn sight better than this one.
1265
01:11:38,719 --> 01:11:40,719
You are hardly an expert
at picking the right girl.
1266
01:11:42,223 --> 01:11:45,392
You can stand there, you
with no home and no clothes,
1267
01:11:45,476 --> 01:11:47,196
and tell me that this one is the right one?
1268
01:11:47,269 --> 01:11:48,395
Ah!
1269
01:11:49,855 --> 01:11:52,108
Well, right or wrong,
I just don't want to lose her.
1270
01:11:52,191 --> 01:11:54,568
Now, have the California office
send a telegram in my name
1271
01:11:54,652 --> 01:11:55,966
saying I'll be delayed for a week.
1272
01:11:55,986 --> 01:11:57,404
That's all I'm asking.
1273
01:11:57,488 --> 01:11:59,073
Now, I'm warning you, Tom.
1274
01:11:59,156 --> 01:12:01,951
You've stretched our friendship
just about as far as it'll go.
1275
01:12:02,034 --> 01:12:03,536
I'm running a business here.
1276
01:12:03,619 --> 01:12:05,538
Either get with it or get out.
1277
01:12:08,666 --> 01:12:10,751
All right, Harve. You win.
1278
01:12:11,001 --> 01:12:13,379
I know you have my best
interests at heart, so, uh...
1279
01:12:13,462 --> 01:12:17,758
So I'll forget about the girl and
just let her disappear out of my life.
1280
01:12:17,967 --> 01:12:20,469
And I'll, uh, drown myself in my work.
1281
01:12:21,345 --> 01:12:22,680
You're too agreeable.
1282
01:12:24,098 --> 01:12:27,059
Harvey, from now on, I promise,
I am just a company man.
1283
01:12:27,143 --> 01:12:29,645
You're planning something
sneaky to get even with me.
1284
01:12:29,728 --> 01:12:31,502
You're gonna call Leona and
tell her about the paintings.
1285
01:12:31,522 --> 01:12:32,602
What's the matter with you?
1286
01:12:32,648 --> 01:12:34,296
You're gonna write her
lawyers an anonymous letter
1287
01:12:34,316 --> 01:12:36,277
telling them about
my securities and the boat.
1288
01:12:36,360 --> 01:12:38,259
You hurt me when you
accuse me of things like that.
1289
01:12:38,279 --> 01:12:39,822
You're in love with that girl.
1290
01:12:39,905 --> 01:12:42,408
And a person in love is a person insane.
1291
01:12:42,491 --> 01:12:44,368
I'm not insane. Oh, no?
1292
01:12:44,451 --> 01:12:45,558
What other kind of mind would dream up
1293
01:12:45,578 --> 01:12:47,413
a double-crossing plot like this?
1294
01:12:55,588 --> 01:12:58,966
What are you so clouded
up about? Lovers' quarrel?
1295
01:12:59,049 --> 01:13:01,552
We were never lovers,
and we didn't quarrel.
1296
01:13:01,635 --> 01:13:03,429
What about the banjo?
1297
01:13:03,512 --> 01:13:06,140
I'll take it back to the pawn shop with me.
1298
01:13:06,223 --> 01:13:08,350
Give the ticket to Luther.
He'll get the suits.
1299
01:13:08,434 --> 01:13:10,519
He'll also get a good hit in the head.
1300
01:13:10,644 --> 01:13:11,729
Why?
1301
01:13:11,812 --> 01:13:13,892
"Cause O'Shea'll think
you're the father of my child.
1302
01:13:14,356 --> 01:13:16,942
I haven't been near enough
to her to give her a cold.
1303
01:13:17,026 --> 01:13:20,613
You know, you were
right about men not liking liars.
1304
01:13:21,780 --> 01:13:23,115
He said something.
1305
01:13:23,699 --> 01:13:24,992
How did he happen to mention it?
1306
01:13:25,075 --> 01:13:26,952
Came out somehow.
1307
01:13:28,037 --> 01:13:31,582
Maybe it's just as well it ends right now.
1308
01:13:40,132 --> 01:13:42,593
Thirty, 40, 50,
1309
01:13:42,676 --> 01:13:45,638
60, 70, 80, 90,
1310
01:13:45,721 --> 01:13:47,097
100.
1311
01:13:47,181 --> 01:13:48,349
What are the charges?
1312
01:13:48,432 --> 01:13:49,516
No. No charge.
1313
01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:50,768
Glad to be of help.
1314
01:13:50,851 --> 01:13:52,269
Well, thank you, Mr. O'Shea.
1315
01:13:52,353 --> 01:13:54,396
And if I might make a suggestion,
1316
01:13:54,480 --> 01:13:56,273
now that he's back, you run him down
1317
01:13:56,357 --> 01:13:58,442
to city hall and get a license.
1318
01:13:58,525 --> 01:14:01,195
Mr. O'Shea, there's
something I must tell you.
1319
01:14:01,278 --> 01:14:04,031
Oh, tell me nothing. The
child's got to have a name.
1320
01:14:05,115 --> 01:14:07,660
I am not going to have a child.
1321
01:14:09,119 --> 01:14:11,205
Well, don't tell him
till after the wedding.
1322
01:14:11,288 --> 01:14:14,208
You get the certificate.
It's a permanent credit card.
1323
01:14:14,291 --> 01:14:16,502
You listen to O'Shea.
1324
01:14:20,297 --> 01:14:21,362
This came right after you left.
1325
01:14:21,382 --> 01:14:22,466
Oh.
1326
01:14:28,931 --> 01:14:33,644
"Attention, maid. Return
delayed one week. Milford."
1327
01:14:43,696 --> 01:14:44,822
She loves the guy.
1328
01:14:44,905 --> 01:14:46,365
Love, schmove.
1329
01:14:46,448 --> 01:14:48,158
One more skin on the onion.
1330
01:15:25,529 --> 01:15:27,323
Hello?
1331
01:15:27,406 --> 01:15:28,949
Oh, hello, Tom.
1332
01:15:29,033 --> 01:15:31,493
Uh, no. I just stepped out for a minute.
1333
01:15:32,828 --> 01:15:37,124
Um, Tom, I was wondering if we
should be seeing each other again.
1334
01:15:39,043 --> 01:15:41,503
Well, there are many reasons.
1335
01:15:42,296 --> 01:15:43,422
Oh, no, no.
1336
01:15:43,505 --> 01:15:46,467
You've been very nice and
I've enjoyed being with you.
1337
01:15:47,801 --> 01:15:51,096
Oh, I do. I do.
1338
01:15:52,556 --> 01:15:55,434
Yeah. No.
1339
01:16:00,898 --> 01:16:02,483
Oh, Tom.
1340
01:16:03,901 --> 01:16:08,030
Oh, you mean he shuttled in
and shuttled out again?
1341
01:16:08,113 --> 01:16:10,491
Must we go through all
the details, Mr. O'Shea?
1342
01:16:10,574 --> 01:16:13,660
Well, you can't have him
running in and out like the tides.
1343
01:16:13,744 --> 01:16:16,914
You'll wear yourself
out carrying the suits.
1344
01:16:16,997 --> 01:16:18,791
Look, I'm in a hurry. Never mind the money.
1345
01:16:18,874 --> 01:16:20,626
Just hold the suits for me, huh?
1346
01:16:20,709 --> 01:16:22,461
Do you love the man?
1347
01:16:23,921 --> 01:16:26,423
Mr. O'Shea, there is no man.
1348
01:16:26,507 --> 01:16:28,175
I see.
1349
01:16:28,258 --> 01:16:30,094
You want to forget him.
1350
01:16:30,177 --> 01:16:33,013
Good riddance it is. So now I can tell you.
1351
01:16:33,097 --> 01:16:34,390
Goodbye, Mr. O'Shea.
1352
01:16:34,473 --> 01:16:35,516
There's another woman.
1353
01:16:40,521 --> 01:16:42,356
What'd you say?
1354
01:16:42,439 --> 01:16:45,442
I found this in one of the
pockets the first time you came in.
1355
01:16:45,526 --> 01:16:49,321
I didn't want to upset you,
so I slipped it to one side.
1356
01:16:50,531 --> 01:16:52,449
Why, that's Tom.
1357
01:16:55,327 --> 01:16:57,454
That's Tom!
1358
01:16:57,538 --> 01:16:59,039
That's Tom Milford!
1359
01:16:59,123 --> 01:17:01,208
Oh, no. Oh, no!
1360
01:17:02,042 --> 01:17:05,045
Oh, I just want to die.
1361
01:17:05,129 --> 01:17:07,464
Oh, I am so embarrassed.
1362
01:17:07,548 --> 01:17:10,509
I just want to die!
1363
01:17:10,717 --> 01:17:14,555
Well, why didn't the bum say
something? Why did he string you along?
1364
01:17:14,680 --> 01:17:16,245
As far as I know, all that changed hands
1365
01:17:16,265 --> 01:17:18,725
was some quinine water and a roast duck.
1366
01:17:18,809 --> 01:17:21,019
Because he wanted me to look like
1367
01:17:21,103 --> 01:17:23,188
the biggest idiot that
ever came out of the west.
1368
01:17:23,272 --> 01:17:26,358
Or the north, south and east. And Canada.
1369
01:17:26,442 --> 01:17:28,026
Well...
1370
01:17:28,110 --> 01:17:29,361
It's that time again.
1371
01:17:29,445 --> 01:17:31,447
If he had one shred of decency,
1372
01:17:31,530 --> 01:17:33,198
he would have never led me on.
1373
01:17:33,282 --> 01:17:35,033
Any gentleman would have spoken up
1374
01:17:35,117 --> 01:17:37,494
the minute I brought him
back to his apartment.
1375
01:17:37,578 --> 01:17:41,165
Only a lying, sneaky, deceitful
snake would do that to a girl.
1376
01:17:41,290 --> 01:17:42,291
Yeah, how about that?
1377
01:17:42,374 --> 01:17:45,377
When all you did was steal his
apartment and hock all his clothes.
1378
01:17:45,461 --> 01:17:46,795
Why didn't he stop me?
1379
01:17:46,879 --> 01:17:48,338
Why did you start it?
1380
01:17:48,422 --> 01:17:49,673
Don't change the subject.
1381
01:17:49,756 --> 01:17:52,342
Give me a hand with
these slipcovers, will ya?
1382
01:17:52,426 --> 01:17:54,678
He is not gonna get away
with it. Do you understand me?
1383
01:17:54,761 --> 01:17:56,305
He is not gonna get away with it!
1384
01:17:56,388 --> 01:17:58,474
Joanie, sit down, hmm?
1385
01:18:00,017 --> 01:18:03,395
Do you know that you
could get six months for this?
1386
01:18:03,479 --> 01:18:05,355
Jail. Pokey-pie.
1387
01:18:05,439 --> 01:18:08,317
You should be grateful
that he didn't blow a whistle.
1388
01:18:08,400 --> 01:18:10,194
Oh, he wouldn't dare.
1389
01:18:10,277 --> 01:18:11,403
He wouldn't dare,
1390
01:18:11,487 --> 01:18:14,615
because I can prove that he
led me on for immoral purposes.
1391
01:18:15,574 --> 01:18:18,410
Now, Joanie, you didn't tell me about that.
1392
01:18:18,494 --> 01:18:19,995
When did it happen?
1393
01:18:20,078 --> 01:18:22,498
It didn't. But he was getting around to it.
1394
01:18:22,623 --> 01:18:24,082
Are you gonna help me or not?
1395
01:18:24,166 --> 01:18:25,834
I am not leaving this apartment.
1396
01:18:25,918 --> 01:18:29,046
He humiliated me, and he
is not gonna get away with it.
1397
01:18:29,129 --> 01:18:30,631
Don't forget, I'm from Iowa.
1398
01:18:30,714 --> 01:18:32,514
What has that got to
do with it? I don't know.
1399
01:18:32,549 --> 01:18:36,053
But he is gonna rue the day that
he ever toyed with Joan Milford.
1400
01:18:36,136 --> 01:18:37,846
Your name is Howell. Remember?
1401
01:18:37,930 --> 01:18:39,223
How you gonna get him to rue?
1402
01:18:39,306 --> 01:18:40,307
I'll think of something.
1403
01:18:40,390 --> 01:18:42,414
Oh, then you're gonna keep
your date with him tonight.
1404
01:18:42,434 --> 01:18:44,353
Oh! I can't wait.
1405
01:18:44,436 --> 01:18:49,233
He may just give me the clue
on the best way to rue.
1406
01:18:54,238 --> 01:18:55,697
Oh, it hardly seems possible
1407
01:18:55,781 --> 01:18:58,450
that we've known each other
less than two weeks.
1408
01:18:58,534 --> 01:19:00,911
I feel like I've known you forever.
1409
01:19:00,994 --> 01:19:04,498
And yet, you know, we really
know very little about one another.
1410
01:19:04,581 --> 01:19:07,084
Well, what more do you have to know?
1411
01:19:07,167 --> 01:19:10,295
Oh, things like your ideas and such.
1412
01:19:10,379 --> 01:19:12,339
At 2:30 in the morning?
1413
01:19:12,422 --> 01:19:15,133
That's a heck of a time to exchange ideas.
1414
01:19:15,217 --> 01:19:16,552
Well, you know, you once told me
1415
01:19:16,635 --> 01:19:20,347
that the most important
quality in a woman was honesty.
1416
01:19:20,430 --> 01:19:22,766
What do you think the most
important quality in a man is?
1417
01:19:22,849 --> 01:19:24,810
Same thing. Honesty.
1418
01:19:24,893 --> 01:19:26,228
Honesty in anybody.
1419
01:19:26,311 --> 01:19:29,898
And do your friends
consider you an honest man?
1420
01:19:29,982 --> 01:19:31,275
I like to think so.
1421
01:19:32,359 --> 01:19:34,570
You must have such exciting friends.
1422
01:19:34,653 --> 01:19:36,196
Especially among the women.
1423
01:19:36,280 --> 01:19:38,490
No, I... I'm actually a lonely man.
1424
01:19:40,284 --> 01:19:42,160
You see, my real love is my work.
1425
01:19:42,244 --> 01:19:44,871
Now, splashes of colors
or beautiful fabrics
1426
01:19:44,955 --> 01:19:46,498
or a well-turned piece of wood,
1427
01:19:46,582 --> 01:19:49,209
now those are the things
that can thrill me.
1428
01:19:49,459 --> 01:19:51,670
I'm, uh, really quite an artist.
1429
01:19:53,463 --> 01:19:56,008
Yes, you certainly are quite an artist.
1430
01:19:56,091 --> 01:20:00,012
But, you know, you
should have more friends.
1431
01:20:00,095 --> 01:20:01,805
I have you. What more do I need?
1432
01:20:01,888 --> 01:20:04,516
What do you say I have a party for you?
1433
01:20:04,600 --> 01:20:06,977
But we have each other.
That's plenty, isn't it?
1434
01:20:07,060 --> 01:20:09,479
Oh, but, Tom, I'm not really very exciting,
1435
01:20:09,563 --> 01:20:12,441
and I can introduce you to
a lot of interesting people.
1436
01:20:12,524 --> 01:20:15,402
Mmm. I... I'm very
uncomfortable around people.
1437
01:20:15,485 --> 01:20:18,196
Well, Tom, my mind's made up.
1438
01:20:18,280 --> 01:20:20,616
I'm going to invite a few
friends over Friday night.
1439
01:20:20,699 --> 01:20:22,576
And we can have a few drinks and dance
1440
01:20:22,659 --> 01:20:24,453
and I'll get some sandwiches in.
1441
01:20:24,536 --> 01:20:27,372
Why, I bet you
the change would do you good.
1442
01:20:27,456 --> 01:20:29,333
Well, if it'll please you, then I'm for it.
1443
01:20:29,416 --> 01:20:30,417
Yes.
1444
01:20:32,502 --> 01:20:35,088
It's getting late now, Tom.
You'd better go.
1445
01:20:35,172 --> 01:20:36,715
Okay.
1446
01:20:41,053 --> 01:20:43,055
Night. Night.
1447
01:20:56,610 --> 01:20:58,779
Hello. Is Agnes there?
1448
01:20:59,905 --> 01:21:03,200
Oh, hello, Agnes. This
is Mr. Milford's secretary.
1449
01:21:03,283 --> 01:21:06,370
We're having a little party
Friday night at Mr. Milford's place.
1450
01:21:06,453 --> 01:21:08,455
A "Streets of Paris" party.
1451
01:21:08,538 --> 01:21:10,791
And all the girls are coming dressed
1452
01:21:10,874 --> 01:21:13,085
as their favorite women of the boulevards.
1453
01:21:16,421 --> 01:21:20,175
Oh, fine. And, Agnes, uh,
please, it's a surprise party.
1454
01:21:20,258 --> 01:21:22,469
So don't call Tom back.
1455
01:21:22,552 --> 01:21:24,805
Al righty.
1456
01:21:24,888 --> 01:21:26,598
Goodbye, Agnes.
1457
01:21:26,682 --> 01:21:29,768
Uh, what are you trying to do, Joan?
1458
01:21:29,851 --> 01:21:32,312
This is national rue week. Remember?
1459
01:21:32,396 --> 01:21:34,398
Yeah, but what point
are you trying to make?
1460
01:21:34,940 --> 01:21:38,110
This is a man who demands
honesty in his women.
1461
01:21:38,193 --> 01:21:41,655
Well, I just want to show him that
it's a pretty good virtue in men, too.
1462
01:21:42,155 --> 01:21:45,033
Huh! "I'm so alone, Joan.
1463
01:21:45,117 --> 01:21:48,453
"I'm so uncomfortable around women."
1464
01:21:48,537 --> 01:21:50,831
I don't know. You're going
to an awful lot of trouble
1465
01:21:50,914 --> 01:21:52,457
for a guy you're supposed to hate.
1466
01:21:56,920 --> 01:21:58,088
You want a lift home?
1467
01:21:58,171 --> 01:22:01,258
No, Harve, thank you. I'm gonna
hang around and do a little thinking.
1468
01:22:01,341 --> 01:22:02,381
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
1469
01:22:02,426 --> 01:22:04,302
Good afternoon, Bert. Have a nice weekend.
1470
01:22:04,386 --> 01:22:05,887
Bye.
1471
01:22:05,971 --> 01:22:07,848
What do you wanna think about?
1472
01:22:07,931 --> 01:22:09,391
Joan.
1473
01:22:09,474 --> 01:22:11,393
Suddenly, she's very important to me.
1474
01:22:11,476 --> 01:22:13,270
I'm awfully fond of that girl.
1475
01:22:13,353 --> 01:22:16,231
I don't dig it. You know
she's been one long lie.
1476
01:22:16,356 --> 01:22:19,526
No. Her only crime has been
trying to impress me.
1477
01:22:20,610 --> 01:22:22,028
No matter how you rationalize,
1478
01:22:22,112 --> 01:22:24,072
she's trespassing
on someone else's property.
1479
01:22:24,156 --> 01:22:25,615
That's morally and legally wrong.
1480
01:22:27,367 --> 01:22:29,870
Well, what about a man who conceals assets
1481
01:22:29,953 --> 01:22:32,706
that, morally and legally,
are not completely his,
1482
01:22:32,789 --> 01:22:35,417
such as a nice collection of oil paintings?
1483
01:22:35,500 --> 01:22:36,752
Well, uh...
1484
01:22:37,419 --> 01:22:39,838
She's throwing
a little party for me tonight.
1485
01:22:41,089 --> 01:22:44,050
I told her I didn't have many
friends, that I was kind of a hermit.
1486
01:22:44,176 --> 01:22:46,219
Oh, that must have been
a very touching scene.
1487
01:22:46,762 --> 01:22:49,097
Harvey, I feel like a heel.
1488
01:22:49,890 --> 01:22:51,933
For two weeks now
I've been spiking her drinks,
1489
01:22:52,058 --> 01:22:55,562
playing on her sympathies, lurking
around just waiting to take advantage.
1490
01:22:57,230 --> 01:22:58,879
Would you want somebody
to do that to your sister?
1491
01:22:58,899 --> 01:23:01,860
I sure would. My sister's
single and pushing 40.
1492
01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:04,279
I'm gonna go to the party
and grab her aside,
1493
01:23:04,362 --> 01:23:06,261
tell her who I am and forgive
her for what she's done.
1494
01:23:06,281 --> 01:23:09,493
I don't care what you do. Just
come back with my paintings.
1495
01:23:10,994 --> 01:23:12,788
Hey, Harve, why don't
you come along with me
1496
01:23:12,871 --> 01:23:15,207
and pick up the paintings yourself?
1497
01:23:15,290 --> 01:23:18,190
I mean, after all, you've been involved
in this whole thing from the beginning.
1498
01:23:18,210 --> 01:23:19,878
Could be a lot of laughs.
1499
01:23:19,961 --> 01:23:21,463
Could just be a lot of laughs.
1500
01:24:15,892 --> 01:24:17,519
Must be old home week.
1501
01:24:40,250 --> 01:24:43,378
I don't get it. What kind of
a party is this without men?
1502
01:24:43,461 --> 01:24:45,130
Be patient. You know Tom.
1503
01:24:45,213 --> 01:24:46,965
He's always full of surprises.
1504
01:24:47,048 --> 01:24:48,675
He never surprised me.
1505
01:24:49,926 --> 01:24:51,887
Look at the one at the table,
1506
01:24:51,970 --> 01:24:54,472
the one stuffing her face
with the tuna fish sandwiches.
1507
01:24:59,519 --> 01:25:01,813
That's gotta be Ginny Frazell.
1508
01:25:01,897 --> 01:25:04,149
Slow starter, but great in the stretch.
1509
01:25:05,317 --> 01:25:07,277
That's right, Chief. Dozens of 'em.
1510
01:25:07,903 --> 01:25:09,362
I can't figure it either,
1511
01:25:09,446 --> 01:25:12,324
unless the seventh fleet's
steaming down Madison Avenue.
1512
01:25:20,957 --> 01:25:23,335
What are you gonna do when
your man finally shows up?
1513
01:25:23,418 --> 01:25:26,338
I don't have to do anything.
I just want him to see me.
1514
01:25:26,421 --> 01:25:27,797
He'll get the message.
1515
01:25:27,881 --> 01:25:30,425
Chief, I counted 50.
1516
01:25:30,508 --> 01:25:33,219
Must be a national convention.
1517
01:25:33,303 --> 01:25:35,305
Just a second.
1518
01:25:35,388 --> 01:25:37,557
Two male individuals just arrived.
1519
01:25:38,516 --> 01:25:40,018
I can't see their faces.
1520
01:25:43,980 --> 01:25:46,441
But they ain't here to read the gas meters.
1521
01:25:46,524 --> 01:25:48,360
Yeah. Yeah.
1522
01:25:48,443 --> 01:25:50,695
Better charter a bus.
1523
01:25:51,029 --> 01:25:53,281
Looks like they're all here.
1524
01:25:53,365 --> 01:25:56,785
I wish he'd hurry. I'm getting worried.
1525
01:25:56,868 --> 01:25:58,745
What are you worried about?
1526
01:25:58,828 --> 01:26:00,205
I don't know.
1527
01:26:00,330 --> 01:26:04,876
But with all this talent and no
place to put it, something's gotta give.
1528
01:26:04,960 --> 01:26:06,252
That's funny.
1529
01:26:06,336 --> 01:26:09,130
I could have sworn she
said just a few friends.
1530
01:26:09,214 --> 01:26:11,174
Sounds like a few dozen to me.
1531
01:26:11,257 --> 01:26:12,822
That's what I mean about this girl, Harve.
1532
01:26:12,842 --> 01:26:14,803
She's so concerned for my welfare.
1533
01:26:14,928 --> 01:26:17,639
Imagine going to all
this trouble and expense.
1534
01:26:17,764 --> 01:26:19,975
I just hope there's
some way I can repay her.
1535
01:26:20,058 --> 01:26:21,643
Well...
1536
01:26:24,604 --> 01:26:26,898
Hi!
1537
01:26:29,067 --> 01:26:32,153
Hey, where are the other
fellas? There's only two of you!
1538
01:26:33,154 --> 01:26:35,490
Hi! Come on in!
1539
01:26:37,200 --> 01:26:39,680
Oh, I'll grab the paintings,
and I'll meet you down in the car.
1540
01:26:50,755 --> 01:26:52,173
What is this?
1541
01:26:52,257 --> 01:26:54,300
Welcome to your party, Mr. Milford.
1542
01:26:55,510 --> 01:26:58,930
I just thought you might enjoy
being surrounded by the, uh...
1543
01:26:59,014 --> 01:27:01,307
Things you love best.
1544
01:27:01,391 --> 01:27:04,185
Joan, I swear I was on my
way to clear up this whole mess.
1545
01:27:04,269 --> 01:27:05,770
You're a little bit late.
1546
01:27:05,854 --> 01:27:07,856
Well, what's a guy supposed to do?
1547
01:27:07,939 --> 01:27:10,150
A girl takes me to my own
apartment, tells me it's hers.
1548
01:27:10,233 --> 01:27:12,152
I couldn't get over the shock for a week!
1549
01:27:12,235 --> 01:27:15,238
That still leaves one week unaccounted for!
1550
01:27:15,321 --> 01:27:18,283
You deliberately led me on
to humiliate me, and you have.
1551
01:27:18,366 --> 01:27:20,201
Goodbye. Now listen.
1552
01:27:20,285 --> 01:27:22,203
Step aside, please.
1553
01:27:23,621 --> 01:27:25,290
Could we be alone, please?
1554
01:27:25,373 --> 01:27:27,917
Oh, sure. What did you have in mind?
1555
01:27:28,710 --> 01:27:30,545
I meant Joan.
1556
01:27:30,628 --> 01:27:32,005
You stay right here, Audrey.
1557
01:27:33,381 --> 01:27:37,552
As far as being offended, I have as
much right to be offended as you do.
1558
01:27:37,635 --> 01:27:41,222
I knew what I was doing was
wrong, but my motives were good.
1559
01:27:41,306 --> 01:27:44,184
I met a man I liked
and I wanted to impress him.
1560
01:27:44,267 --> 01:27:46,352
But you lied to me
for your own evil purposes.
1561
01:27:47,562 --> 01:27:49,105
If I say I love you...
1562
01:27:51,816 --> 01:27:54,944
I suggest you scratch
this horse, Mr. Milford.
1563
01:27:55,028 --> 01:27:56,821
It's shy, nervous
1564
01:27:56,905 --> 01:27:59,115
and refuses to enter the starting gate.
1565
01:27:59,199 --> 01:28:00,909
Now, you're talking about lies.
1566
01:28:00,992 --> 01:28:03,203
How about your lies to me?
1567
01:28:03,286 --> 01:28:05,997
Didn't you tell me you were
a very good cook? Huh?
1568
01:28:06,081 --> 01:28:08,063
Well, you know darn well you
didn't cook that duck dinner.
1569
01:28:08,083 --> 01:28:09,250
I tried!
1570
01:28:09,334 --> 01:28:11,649
You take a duck, you put it
in the oven, you turn the oven on...
1571
01:28:11,669 --> 01:28:13,588
Can you hear what he's sayin'?
1572
01:28:13,671 --> 01:28:16,883
He sounds disappointed because
she didn't make him a duck dinner.
1573
01:28:16,966 --> 01:28:18,239
The whole thing burned up.
1574
01:28:18,259 --> 01:28:20,325
Drop a cigarette in it?
I've got ashtrays in my apartment.
1575
01:28:20,345 --> 01:28:23,181
What about the other one
that's playing cards on the bed?
1576
01:28:23,264 --> 01:28:24,390
You didn't cook it!
1577
01:28:24,557 --> 01:28:25,725
I didn't cook it!
1578
01:28:25,809 --> 01:28:27,519
I'm still workin' on the duck dinner.
1579
01:28:27,602 --> 01:28:29,876
You got a duck that tasted
that good from a delicatessen?
1580
01:28:29,896 --> 01:28:31,127
I have to leave!
1581
01:28:31,147 --> 01:28:32,398
Where are you taking them?
1582
01:28:34,025 --> 01:28:36,277
You can't... Oh, you can't leave, Harve!
1583
01:28:36,361 --> 01:28:37,570
But I've got an appointment.
1584
01:28:37,654 --> 01:28:38,780
You don't have to leave us!
1585
01:28:38,863 --> 01:28:40,824
Yes, I... You don't have to.
1586
01:28:40,907 --> 01:28:42,075
Yes, I have to go.
1587
01:28:42,158 --> 01:28:43,243
Where you going?
1588
01:28:50,750 --> 01:28:52,752
Uh, where you going, sir? Home.
1589
01:28:52,836 --> 01:28:55,088
We have just one stop to
make first. Into the wagon.
1590
01:28:55,171 --> 01:28:56,548
What? In the wagon.
1591
01:28:56,631 --> 01:28:58,550
But I don't know anything
about those people.
1592
01:28:58,633 --> 01:29:00,240
Now, you see,
I'm a responsible businessman.
1593
01:29:00,260 --> 01:29:01,491
I just came up here for my paintings.
1594
01:29:01,511 --> 01:29:03,221
Into the wagon.
1595
01:29:03,304 --> 01:29:06,182
Now please, Sarge. I've never
seen those people before in my life.
1596
01:29:06,266 --> 01:29:09,477
You see, my wife, Leona, she's
asking an awful lot of money.
1597
01:29:09,561 --> 01:29:12,322
And, uh... Well, anyway, I was
keeping my paintings up at Tom's place,
1598
01:29:12,355 --> 01:29:14,595
and I was staying at my place,
in my beautiful apartment.
1599
01:29:14,649 --> 01:29:17,193
Then he asked me to check
into the Plaza Hotel, which I did.
1600
01:29:17,277 --> 01:29:20,280
I was gonna call you fellas, but
this girl kept ordering martinis.
1601
01:29:20,363 --> 01:29:22,323
And then when my zipper
got stuck, you see...
1602
01:29:22,407 --> 01:29:23,700
In the wagon!
1603
01:29:23,783 --> 01:29:25,952
Oh, all right. I'll get in the...
1604
01:29:26,035 --> 01:29:27,912
Just push a little bit. Thank you.
1605
01:29:27,996 --> 01:29:29,956
Stop! Will you... Come on outta here.
1606
01:29:30,039 --> 01:29:32,292
I'll have you broken for this, you goon!
1607
01:29:32,375 --> 01:29:35,253
But I told you, I'm a secretary at the UN.
1608
01:29:35,336 --> 01:29:38,631
Wait till my old man
gets a hold of that Milford.
1609
01:29:40,592 --> 01:29:42,385
Why don't you believe me?
1610
01:29:42,468 --> 01:29:45,471
Officer, you don't
understand. It was all a joke.
1611
01:29:45,555 --> 01:29:47,807
I mean, it was my idea.
1612
01:29:47,891 --> 01:29:49,809
Look, I don't even know these girls.
1613
01:29:49,893 --> 01:29:52,103
Sure, girlie. Nobody
knows nobody around here.
1614
01:29:52,187 --> 01:29:55,003
You all just happened to be standing
up there waiting for a trolley car.
1615
01:29:55,023 --> 01:29:56,357
In the van!
1616
01:29:57,734 --> 01:29:59,777
Officer, look, I can
explain this whole thing.
1617
01:29:59,861 --> 01:30:01,342
You see, I know all
these people. I live here.
1618
01:30:01,362 --> 01:30:02,906
They're all friends of mine. Uh-huh.
1619
01:30:02,989 --> 01:30:05,325
Look, I never even got a
traffic ticket in my whole life.
1620
01:30:05,408 --> 01:30:06,951
Uh-huh. Maybe somebody can help me.
1621
01:30:07,035 --> 01:30:08,536
Officer, let me explain it to you.
1622
01:30:08,703 --> 01:30:10,303
The whole thing is just a gag. It was...
1623
01:30:10,330 --> 01:30:14,000
You again. You know, I didn't
recognize you with your pants on.
1624
01:30:15,460 --> 01:30:17,670
Yes, sir. I'll go quietly.
1625
01:30:32,435 --> 01:30:35,355
Lovely evening to get arrested, isn't it?
1626
01:30:37,106 --> 01:30:40,109
You know, if you like the apartment,
1627
01:30:40,193 --> 01:30:43,279
I have no objections to you
using it on a more permanent basis.
1628
01:30:44,739 --> 01:30:46,741
That is, uh,
1629
01:30:46,824 --> 01:30:49,369
if you'd like to use the Milford name
1630
01:30:49,452 --> 01:30:51,037
on a more permanent basis.
1631
01:30:52,121 --> 01:30:54,374
Pay attention. That's a proposal.
1632
01:30:55,875 --> 01:30:58,878
Oh, and you don't have to worry
about tossing away those paintings,
1633
01:30:58,962 --> 01:31:00,296
because they belong to Harve.
1634
01:31:01,256 --> 01:31:03,508
Oh!
1635
01:31:03,591 --> 01:31:07,011
Are these magnificent
paintings really yours?
1636
01:31:07,095 --> 01:31:09,305
Well, yes. I... I think so. I...
1637
01:31:09,389 --> 01:31:12,767
Oh, well, I was only saying the other day
1638
01:31:12,850 --> 01:31:15,061
that whoever owns these paintings
1639
01:31:15,144 --> 01:31:18,773
must be a man of great
taste and refinement.
1640
01:31:18,856 --> 01:31:20,566
Oh, really?
1641
01:31:20,650 --> 01:31:22,568
Uh-huh. Well
1642
01:31:24,237 --> 01:31:25,947
So I'm passing the police station
1643
01:31:26,030 --> 01:31:28,950
and these two vans pull up and unload
1644
01:31:29,033 --> 01:31:31,786
the biggest bunch of night
fliers you've ever seen.
1645
01:31:31,869 --> 01:31:34,747
And who do you think is right
smack in the middle of them?
1646
01:31:34,831 --> 01:31:37,250
Your friend, Little Miss Muffet.
1647
01:31:37,333 --> 01:31:39,669
How about that? How about that?
1648
01:31:39,752 --> 01:31:41,671
Oh, it's like I always said.
1649
01:31:41,754 --> 01:31:43,673
The city is a jungle.
1650
01:31:43,756 --> 01:31:45,842
Crawling with vice, it is.
1651
01:31:45,925 --> 01:31:48,094
Why, only this week, mind you,
1652
01:31:48,177 --> 01:31:51,764
a mere wisp of a child with the
bloom of innocence still on her cheeks
1653
01:31:51,848 --> 01:31:53,016
comes into the place.
1654
01:31:53,099 --> 01:31:54,434
And would you believe it?
1655
01:31:54,517 --> 01:31:56,269
Some dirty dog of a scoundrel,
1656
01:31:56,352 --> 01:31:59,147
some mean, low-down, cheap, conniving,
1657
01:31:59,314 --> 01:32:01,858
two-faced, lecherous snake in the grass...
1658
01:32:01,941 --> 01:32:03,234
Why...
1659
01:32:08,031 --> 01:32:09,490
I'll take care of 'em.
1660
01:32:09,574 --> 01:32:11,367
You listened last time. It's my turn.
1661
01:32:11,451 --> 01:32:13,036
You always wanna keep the good ones.
1662
01:32:13,119 --> 01:32:16,414
Okay, okay. We'll both take care of 'em.
1663
01:32:26,215 --> 01:32:28,301
You and your English tailoring.
1664
01:32:30,178 --> 01:32:31,554
Tom!
1665
01:32:32,805 --> 01:32:34,515
Honey?
1666
01:32:34,599 --> 01:32:36,642
Are you all right?
1667
01:32:37,685 --> 01:32:39,354
Well, Tom...
1668
01:32:44,859 --> 01:32:46,444
You know somethin', Charlie?
1669
01:32:46,527 --> 01:32:49,781
When you got her around,
you don't need television.125966
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