All language subtitles for I Love Lucy s05e07 face to face

And now, I Love Lucy.

Hi, Keith. Hi.

You gonna go to the movies?

Oh, no thanks, we can't. No, I have a
business appointment.

Guess what? He signed with Associated
Artists today. Who are they?

Who are they?

Ha! Just the biggest talent agency in
the business, that's all. Oh, Rick,

great. Congratulations, Rick.

You know, the funniest part about that
is before I went to Hollywood, I

get in the front door of their office.

And since I come back, they came after
me.

Well, that trip to Hollywood sort of
made celebrities out of all of us. I'm a

very important person since we came
home. Really?

Yes, sir.

Nowadays, when I go to the meat market
and order hamburger, the butcher grinds

it right in front of my eyes.

Yeah, you know, if I want to go to the
store without collecting a crowd, I have

to wear dark glasses and walk down an
alley.

Well, that's a lot of trouble, isn't it?

I don't know. I haven't tried it yet.

Hey, that must be Johnny. Oh, we'll duck
out. No, no, no. Stick around.

Stick around. I'd like to meet him. All
right, okay.

Hello, Johnny. How are you? How are you?
Johnny, I'd like you to meet my wife,

Lucy. How do you do, Mr. Clark? Hello,
Lucy. How are you? This is my friend,

Fred and Ethel Mertz. Hello, Mr. Clark.
How are you? Hi, Mr.

Clark. I'm sorry I'm late. I was having
dinner with Bing, and we had a few

problems we had to iron out. Oh, Mr.

Clark, pardon me, but when you left him,
did you shake hands with him?

Yes. Ethel, I just shook the hand...
that shook the hand of Bing Crosby.

I shook it, too. When I was first, you
were a whole hand later.

Sit down, Johnny.

You must forgive Lucy. She's a little
starstruck.

Starstruck? Well, you better get over
that, Lucy, because before long, your

husband is going to be one of the
biggest stars this country has ever

Really?

Absolutely.

Sit down, Johnny.

I saw Dick and Oscar at the store
tonight.

They're considering you for their new
show.

Oh, no kidding.

Yeah, and I think I've got you planted
on the Ed Sullivan show for next month.

No kidding.

Boy. And Ed Warren wants you on his face
-to -face TV show.

Ed Warren?

Yeah. You mean millions of people will
be seeing us right here in our own home?

That's right.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, isn't that wonderful?

Honey, honey. Yeah?

We're not on tonight.

I'll tell you in plenty of time.

Oh, well, that's good because I want to
get new draperies, slipcover all the...

furniture, and we better repaint the
apartment.

Well, that won't be necessary, Mrs.
Ricardo.

No, that won't be necessary, Mrs.
Ricardo.

Well, I just want everything to look
nice and cheery.

Well, it's going to take more than a
coat of paint to make this dump look

anything.

Ricky, you can't be seen on face to face
in a crummy joint like this.

Now, wait a minute now, Johnny. I forgot
to mention something about the

Mercer's. Yeah, we own this crummy
joint.

There's no offense. It's just that we're
building Ricky up as a colorful,

exciting, new personality. And he's got
to live like a star should.

You know, in some place like, well, like
a Park Avenue apartment.

Penthouse, even. Here, I brought along
some apartment house brochures.

Well, look them over.

Well, I like it here.

So do I. I'll have you know that this is
one of the finest apartment buildings

in New York.

If not the finest.

These walls are solid.

Fred.

don't build them like this anymore.

Well, they haven't built them like this
for a hundred years.

Now, just a minute, Johnny.

The Merces are our best friends, and we
lived in this apartment for 15 years,

and we're going to stay right here.

I didn't mean anything, Ricky, and I'm
sorry if I offended anyone. It's just

that I'm thinking about your career.

He can have just as big a career living
here as he can in some Park Avenue

penthouse. That's right. All right, all
right. Have it your own way.

I'll see if I can't get another angle on
that Ed Warren show and call you in the

morning. Okay. Good night, Lucy. Good
night, Mr. Clark.

Goodbye.

Jim.

I'm sorry, Fred.

No, that's all right. This apartment's
been insulted by a bigger man than him.

Imagine us living in a big, fancy
apartment. I like it here.

So do I.

Don't you worry, Fred. We're never going
to leave this crummy joint.

We're not worried about that.

We'll go on the movie. We'll run away.

Goodbye. Don't forget, tomorrow night
we'll play bridge, huh? All right. Okay.

I'm not sure I like your new agent.

Oh, honey, he doesn't know.

Us in a Park Avenue penthouse.

Four bedrooms, four bathrooms, and a
library.

What would we do with all that room?

Private terrace.

Well, that'd be nice for little Ricky.

Daily maid service.

Well.

How much do they want for all that
swank?

They start at $11 ,000 a year.

For us, they end there, too.

I'd kind of like to take a look at one.

Just to see what it's like inside, you
know. Just forget it.

Yeah.

Hi, honey. Well, hi.

Where have you been? It's after 8 o
'clock.

I know. I'm sorry. We're rehearsing a
new show, you know. Thanks a long time.

Do you have any dinner?

Yeah, I had it by the club.

Hey.

Guess what I did today? What?

I looked at one of those Park Avenue
penthouses.

I just wanted to see what it looked
like. It was an $11 ,000 humdinger.

Boy, you should have seen it. A
tremendous living room, view of Central

and the softest carpet. They were this
thick. I didn't see my feet for half an

hour.

Made this place look like a city dump.

Now, Lucy... Relax. I found out a
terrible thing. I wasn't comfortable

there. I guess I'm the city dump type.

Well, my pocketbook thanks you.

I must have looked like the city dump
type, too.

Mrs. Skyler, she's the manager over
there. She wasn't even going to show me

place until I told her who you were.

I'll tell Fred and Ethel you're here.
Okay, I'll clean up. I'll be right out.

Okay, fine. We'll be right over.

Ricky's home. Let's go over and play
some bridge.

Well, come on. What's the matter with
you? Oh, I was just thinking about last

night and how Lucy and Ricky told his
agent they'd never move out of here.

They're such wonderful people.

Yeah, you're right. They really are.

They're the kind of people that give
people a good name.

They're the best friends we ever had.

That's for sure.

We gotta get them out of here.

Yep, we gotta.

We got to make a move out of here. And
lose perfectly good tenants?

Oh, now, Fred, for once will you think
with your heart instead of your wallet?

I don't know what you're talking about.

They don't want to move. Sure they do.

And they should.

But they don't want to hurt our
feelings.

We can't let friendship stand in the way
of Ricky's career.

He doesn't belong in a place like this.

He belongs in a big, beautiful,
wonderful apartment.

You know, you're right.

But how are we going to get them to
move?

Well, we'll have to be subtle about it
so they won't catch on.

We can burn the building down.

Fred, are you crazy?

No, I'm insured.

Now, let's see. How does a landlord get
a tenant to move out?

Well, suppose we give them a lot of bad
service. No heat, no repairs.

Think that'll work?

It hasn't for 15 years.

No, we've got to pick up something else.

How about, uh, well, we could pick a
fight. What about?

Well, we could pick one about, um, about
the bridge game. You know how sensitive

Lucy is about her bridge playing. Good,
come on. Now, Fred, Fred, don't weaken.

Remember, it's all for friendship.

Okay, come on.

What's keeping them?

Well, since when do you knock?

Hi.

Sorry I was late. Come on, let's get
going.

Hurry up, sit down.

Come on, sit down.

Come on.

No, we just came over to tell you not to
count on us for bridge.

Uh, yes, we made other plans.

Well, how come you know this is our
regular bridge night?

Well, maybe it's time for a change.

What do you mean?

Well, I guess you better come right out
and tell them the truth.

The fact of the matter is, we don't want
to play bridge with you anymore.

Why not?

Well, to put it as charitably as
possible, and not wanting to hurt

feelings, you are lousy bridge players.

Oh, just a minute.

Oh, now, Ricky, you're not so bad, but
there's some excuse for you. You learned

how to play in Cuba.

But Lucy, she may bring back Mahjong.

Look who's talking, the queen of the ace
trumpers.

Well, if you want to get nasty about it,
I thought we knew each other well

enough to be honest.

Oh, well, if you want to get honest,
let's go.

I've got plenty of ammunition.

You are possibly one of the worst...
Wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a

Why don't you put your money where your
big mouth is?

Why don't you stay and play for money?

Real money.

Ha! Fred, play for money.

I'm not the cheapskate in this group.

Meaning I...

the skin on your conga drum.

No, no, no, no. Don't bug your eyes out
at me. Save that for your movie fans if

you have any.

This is the thanks we get for sticking
it out for 15 long years in this termite

-ridden deep freeze.

If you don't like it here, nobody is
twisting your arm.

Yeah, go ahead.

Go ahead and what?

Go ahead and move out.

Well, that...

And the sooner, the better.

Don't worry. We're getting out of this
tenement before it's condemned by the

Board of Health.

Good. And you can't make it soon enough
for us. That's right.

Ha! Ha!

Ow! I'm going to start packing right
this minute.

Oh, no, you're not.

Why not?

Those two crazy, wonderful people.

What are you talking? What's the...
You're deserting to the enemy?

Honey, don't you see? They were acting
like that because they love us.

Well, I'd hate to think how they'd act
if they couldn't stand us.

No, honey, they think that if I stay
here, it's going to ruin my career.

Oh.

Sure, so they act like that, so we pick
a fight and move to one of those fancy

apartments that my agent was talking
about.

Oh, Ricky, you're right.

When did you catch on?

Listen, any time that Fred Merce tells
one of his steady -paying tenants to

out, there's something fishy somewhere.

Oh, Ricky, there's so... Oh, I could
just cry.

Boy, I bet they move out tomorrow.

Tomorrow? They may even go tonight.

Yeah, they might.

Did you see Lucy's face when I told her
what a horrible bridge player she was?

Did you hear Ricky when I told him what
a cheapskate he is?

Oh, I miss him already.

Yeah, me too.

Now, now we'll have to get somebody else
to play bridge with us.

Yeah, and the way we play, that's not
going to be easy.

What's your Aunt Martha's phone number?

Grammar C3 -8098.

Well, she always wanted to rent an
apartment in our building, and I thought

might let them have the Ricardos
apartment.

Fred, how can you think of money at a
time like this?

In my sorrow, do I know what I'm doing?

Hello? I'll take it.

Hello, Aunt Martha?

This is Little Ethel.

Listen, do you and Uncle Elmo still want
an apartment in our building?

I think we're going to have a vacancy.

Ricardo's.

Well, they haven't told us the exact
date, but I could let you know.

Oh, that's nice.

Okay, I'll call you Aunt Martha.

Bye.

She'll take it.

That's fine.

I miss Lucy already.

Oh, now, honey, but don't start crying.
He's the best friend I ever had.

Come on, honey, snap out of it. Come on.
Oh, I can't help it.

That's the nicest thing anybody ever did
for anybody.

I don't know. Look, we'll just go over
there and we'll tell them that we

appreciate what they're trying to do but
that we're not going to move.

No, honey, we can't do that.

They mustn't know that we know what
they're trying to do.

I guess you're right.

I'll tell you what. Look, I'll apologize
for starting the fight.

I'll tell them it's all my fault.

Well, all right.

Bridge lessons. Hey, that's good. Come
on, let's go.

Hello?

Oh, yes, how are you? It's Ethel's Aunt
Martha.

Oh, uh, well, just a minute.

How tall are you?

Five -eleven and a half. Why?

in our building for 15 years.

Yes, they've been very good tenants.

Oh, she did.

Oh, it is.

Yes.

Yes, I can recommend them very highly.

You're welcome.

Well. Who was that? That was a Mrs.
Schuyler, the manager of a Park Avenue

apartment building. What did she want?

Lucy was over there today looking at an
apartment.

What? Oh, boy, they planned to move out
all the time. They just pretended they

didn't want to leave here. Those dirty
double -crossers. I ought to go right

over there and blacken one of those
bugged -out eyes of Ricky's.

Let's go over there and tell them what
we really think of them. Come on.

Quiet. That agent.

Say, I'm glad I bumped into you two. I
was just on my way over to the Ricardos.

Ed Warren says it's fine to do the show
from here.

From this crummy joint?

Now, we have a new angle.

Instead of Ricky living in a fancy
apartment, we're going to show how

hasn't changed him. How even though he's
a big star, he refuses to move from his

simple and comfortable old apartment and
his two best friends, the Mertzes.

You're both going to be on the show with
him.

That's all very interesting.

It's at 8 o 'clock tomorrow night. The
only reason we got on is somebody else

canceled. Well, thank you very much, Mr.
Clark, but I wouldn't be on a show with

them. Now, just a minute, Ethel.

You tell the Ricardos we'll do it. Okay.

Fred, what's the matter with you? What's
the matter with you? How many chances

do we get to be on face -to -face?

Besides, who am I to deny 50 million
people the opportunity of seeing Fred

Mertz?

And his wife?

Well... And what about the advertising
for the building?

I bet we'd get double rentals for every
apartment in the house.

Fred, I'll say this for you. You never
hold a grudge. Thanks. If there's money

involved.

Nothing doing, Johnny. We just don't
want to do a television show with the

Mercers. But, Ricky. Look, if they want
to go on television, let them go on with

Aunt Martha and Uncle Elmo.

Yeah.

Aunt Martha and Uncle Elmo?

What's that, a kid's show or something?

Never mind. We just don't want to do a
television show with them.

But it's all set.

Ed Warren expects them on the show.

You've got to do it with them. I don't
got to do nothing.

Now, listen, Ricky.

I've got a lot of important people out
there tomorrow night watching you.

Dick and Oscar, they want to hear you
sing.

Ed Sullivan.

Well. Look, honey, if it's important to
your career, I guess we can stomach the

merchants for half an hour. After all,
we never have to see them again once the

show is over.

I guess you're right.

Good. Then it's all settled. I'll see
you tomorrow night, Rick. All right.

Now, don't be nervous, Ricky. Just
pretend like it's just any other night

your living room.

Hey,

these chocolates, they look terrible. I
think the light is melting them. I

better go change them, eh? No, no, no.
We don't have time. Nobody will see

I better get out of here. I'll go over
to the Mercer's and watch it on their TV

set. Okay.

Are you nervous?

No.

One second.

Oh, hello, Ed.

Honey, we're not on yet. I know, I'm
just rehearsing. Oh, hi, Ed.

Oh, hello, Ed.

Oh, Ed, how are you?

Five seconds.

Lucy. Hi, Ed.

And here we go.

And here... is Edward Warren.

Currently making feminine hearts flutter
all across the country is a charming

Cuban named Ricky Ricardo.

He recently made his first Hollywood
film and out there they are calling him

second Valentino.

Ricky lives with his charming red
-haired wife in this converted

apartment house on East 68th Street.

Hello, Ricky.

Ed, I'd like you to meet my wife, Lucy.

Oh, hello, Ed.

Hello there, Lucy.

Ricky.

Ricky. Yes, Ed?

Ricky, now that you have made that
picture, your career is really zooming,

it? Oh, yes.

It's been wonderful. A lot of wonderful
things have happened in the past few

months. How did you find Hollywood?

Huh? I say, how did you find Hollywood?

Oh, Hollywood was wonderful.

It was really great.

You know, I've been working in
nightclubs, you know, for the past few

It was different, you know, working
without an audience.

Ricky, do you like working to an
audience better?

Well, I don't know if I like it better
or not. It's just that it's different,

you know, and then, of course, when
you...

When you go to the preview, and there it
is, and there's nothing you can do

about it, you know?

I imagine that that preview was pretty
exciting for everybody concerned.

How about that, Mrs. Ricardo?

What?

I say...

I say the preview must have been pretty
exciting for everybody.

Yes,

it was very exciting. We can hardly wait
for the picture to open.

Neither can I.

Ricky, I understand that you have an
unusual situation in that you are best

friends with your landlords.

Oh, yes, Fred and Ethel Merz. They are
very best friends.

Would you like to meet them?

Yes, Ricky, I would.

All right.

I'll see if I can get them.

Ed, this is Fred and Ethel Bird.

Hello, Ed. I'm Ethel. Hello, Ethel. Hi
there.

Hi there, all my pals out in
Steubenville, Ohio.

How are you guys down there, Joe and
Bill's Barbershop? Hi. Fred. Hi, Lefty.

Ain't this something?

I'm not used to these things.

Oh, Ricky.

Yes? I hope you won't mind my telling
this.

But I understand from your agent that he
wanted you to move into a swanky

penthouse, but you refused.

Oh, yes, yes.

We lived here for 15 years, and we
wouldn't move for anything in the world.

Anything wrong, Ethel?

I found...

Fred, Ricky's attitude must make you
very happy.

It certainly does, and we hope they
never leave.

That's wonderful. He'd be a fool if he
did.

Get reasonable rent and a wonderful
apartment and plenty of service.

Oh, by the way, if any of you folks out
there need a good apartment, just give

me a ring.

Ricky.

Ricky. Yes, sir? How about a song?

Oh, I'd like to. Sure.

I'm very happy to.

All right.

Now, if my friends here would help me
out with it, we'd like to do it like

doing our pleasant musical evenings at
home. Yes.

Would you like to help me out? You
ready?

Yes. We'll do Rancho Grande.

Here we go.

the advertising on Ricky's program.

We knew you were going to move.

We weren't planning to move out. Yeah.

about moving. Not much. She wasn't. Ha!

What do you mean, ha?

That's what I said, ha.

She was serious about moving. Aunt
Martha called and we found out the

was rented right from under us. I didn't
even call Aunt Martha until you said

you were going to leave us.

What's the matter? She said she didn't
even call Aunt Martha until we said we

were leaving.

What?

And good luck.

Part of Ed Warren was played by Elliot
Reid. Johnny Clark was played by John

Gallaudet. And the director was Monty
Masters.

is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back
next week at the same time.