All language subtitles for Head Case s02e01 Live And Let Diet

Yeah, people ask me all the time, hey,
how do you have it all? A thriving

practice, you're never over 120 pounds,
and you really meet the demands of a

21st century woman.

Well, I'm a healer, like the Lord Jesus
Christ in Oprah, and I choose to do it

alone.

Sure, I thought about getting a dog, but
really, you don't see the Pied Piper

with a partner.

You know, the metaphor for my life is,
my glass is not half full.

It's empty.

Yeah.

So if celebrities have the fantasy of
building a castle in their mind, I'm

to collect the rent.

Where's Dr. Finkelstein?

Nice. Well, he has no patients, so why
would he be here?

First of all, this is Ron Julio. Now
that our major construction is done,

be here to help me with swatches and
curtains.

Lola Ron is a very, very dear family
friend. He helped put my grandmother

when she was very sick.

Let's go through a few ground rules now.
First of all, the dog. The dog is fine

as long as you pick up any kind of
excretions.

Vomit or otherwise.

Any questions about the dog? Anybody
allergic?

Okay, recycling. I don't believe in many
bags. I like everything in one garbage

bag, so please don't recycle.

Sugar. I'm on hormone replacement
therapy, so we can have Splenda and

Low, but the donuts and everything has
to go. Okay, any questions about that?

Let's talk about celebrities. This is
how our profession thrives. It's awards

season. It's going to be crazy. If you
have any questions about whether

somebody's famous or not, guess what?
They are. That's why they're coming to

office. No photos, and please, Ron
Julio, never look at them in the eye.

Comprende?

Yeah, okay. Any questions about that?

Okay, gracias. Moving on.

Ideas about the office? Anything?

Good. Meeting adjourned.

I have never seen George Clooney as
upset as when that pig died.

He was sobbing when he came in here,
Mom. It was terrible.

I felt really sorry for him.

Yeah, I know.

How are you feeling today?

I'm always a little excited.

Always have a little...

tummy thing going on yeah yeah yeah do
you have any sexual partners these days

uh not today no not but it's what time
it's a little early how is j -lo

to get pregnant if they've got
conflicting torture at your mom i've got

i've got to go okay bye morning morning
you missed the staff meeting

it was at 10 where were you staff man i
told you repeatedly my room don't play

dumb who is that This is Alfred Molina.

Patient's dog?

Who's in there? No, she's my dog. She's
your dog?

Yeah. Why is she here?

Because I come to work here.

Well, you can't bring a dog to work. I
can. It's a health hazard. It's covered

in the staff meeting. There are people
that are allergic to dogs. There are

people that are afraid of getting bitten
by a dog. She's a short hair. What if

she bites someone? She's not going to
bite. She's trailing you. What if she

makes? I hold her over the sink and I
go, go potty, go potty, go potty, Alfred

Molina. Why don't you put her over the
toilet? It was all covered in the staff

meeting, Myron. You shouldn't have a dog
here.

A lot of women have the man with the ski
mask approach them, and it's so scary,

and who are they? Well, yeah, I mean,
it's sort of exciting. I mean, I don't

know what it is. I just, the van goes
by, and I just get excited.

I'm concerned about that.

experience you had with the homeless
person. And I just think that there's...

Well, the last time that happened, it
turned out to be a good thing. I mean,

was a very, you know, he was a homeless
man, but beautiful hair, long, beautiful

hair. And it turned out he knew a lot
about the Romanov. I mean, he looked

Rasputin. No, he was an interesting guy,
but he was syphilitic.

Good potty, Alfred Molina. Good potty. A
little wipey. A little wipey.

There we are.

Told you.

I think that somehow you need to be
overwhelmed by your sexual partner.

I want to try something with you, Ione.
If we go from 1 to 10, 10 being a turn

on, 1 you feel nothing. I want you to
tell me on a scale from 1 to 10 how you

feel when I am the governor of
California and I'm threatening you.

That's fabulous.

I know why you're my doctor.

I'm going to use that later.

Is it a 10?

Oh, that's a 10. Is it a 10?

You're amazing.

Myron? Yes?

Isn't Miranda Van Zyl one of your
patients?

She's my 2 o 'clock.

She's not anymore.

She cancelled?

No, she died.

She died?

Is it in the paper? Yeah, she died. She
jumped off the Tappan Zee Bridge.

She took me seriously.

What? That's my 2 o 'clock.

There are certain symbols of sexuality.
For us, it is a phallic symbol of some

sort. That's wonderful.

Is there a way for you to maybe try to
explore less of the Schwarzenegger with

gun and more of maybe sort of just your
common man, like your life? Like you're

with just the average person, and that's
what I'm trying to... Well, I'm not

with anybody right now. I'm enjoying my
independence.

Dr. Good's office.

Oh, hello, Mom.

Yep, she's got Ione's guy in with her at
the moment.

He's having a lot of problems.

I can't talk about it now. She might
come out.

Tell me how you feel when you have an
experience with somebody that you

know. Well, that's why I just... I can't
be with someone I've known for more

than, you know, ten minutes or
something. That feels too intimate.

feeling. What is the feeling? Terrible,
terrible stomachache and...

sweating and hot flashes and i feel like
i'm you know in a coffin i really think

we're getting somewhere this is good
good yes you've got a flower delivery

are they from i don't know i'll check
the card so basically your body is

a physical reaction

like

coffins and death and just suffocation
and, you know, really... It's a dark...

Yeah. It's just a... It's really... So
you're in a coffin.

They're from Jeremy Parker.

Thank you.

Yeah, I'm in a coffin and I just feel
like I'm dying. I really feel like...

you okay?

Can you hold on for one second?

Feel like you're dying.

I'm sorry.

So you're dying. Yeah. You're
suffocating. I'm suffocating, and I feel

know. Yes, I do. I do. So you are just
wanting to.

scratch off your skin basically and you
right could you hold on one second i

want you to try to get some air into
your body if you need to lean over put

head between your knees um lola do me a
favor and throw this in the garbage in

the dumpster out back i don't want to
smell a whiff of this goddamn bouquet

thank you i think when we experience
pleasure in life it's a way for our

and our body to somehow connect in a way
that says we're hold on one second i'm

sorry i just have a schedule conflict
all right

Don't throw it away, Lola. Just bring it
back.

People can't always just come. Look, the
fucking lilies are like death.

Look at this. Look at this.

I think that what happens is there's two
sides of you

that are fighting. A physical yearning
versus kind of a rational mind.

You need to find a way for these two to
come together or just be stronger.

I think that strength in any kind of
situation, whether it's anonymous or

You know what? Send this to his
assistant and say, thank you very much,

a bigger dick.

Ione, let's make sex less of an issue,
shall we?

Okay, feel better.

So you'll be back same time tomorrow?

Same time tomorrow.

You know the thing with the flowers?

Why are you telling me this?

You know, because we're, you know,
friends, and I just thought you might

know. Yeah, I just, I don't need to know
any of this.

I just thought you might want to.

No,

no, no, no, no.

Walk. Okay.

Don't forget, you've got Jeff Goldblum,
Nate.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Sorry. It's all right. It's okay. You
okay? I'm fine.

Oh, my God. What? I didn't... I barely
touched... I just got out of a

relationship.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Oh, no, it's okay. I just got out of a
relationship and I'm feeling a little...

I did too, and I know what you mean. I
just... You just got out of a

relationship? Yeah, so I know how you
feel.

Dr. Good's office.

Lola, Jeremy Berger.

Oh, Jeremy, hello.

Did you get the flowers?

Yes. Yeah, pretty nice, huh? They're
lovely.

Spare no expense.

What did you say?

I think it might take more than flowers,
to be honest.

You look like anyone in particular. And
I'm talking about like a celebrity.

Like, do you ever get that?

No, no. Why? What do I?

You look like Grace Kelly to me.

And you've been told that, haven't you?

What did I do? You know, what did I do
that was so wrong? I don't understand,

you know? Well, you could not have
strippers, I suppose, with Fave Pudenda.

don't know. I mean.

Well, I mean, you know, there's a story
there. But should I come over?

I'll get in the car and come over. Oh,
no. Why don't you not?

She's just, she's.

Can I make it up to you for stepping on
you today and maybe take you out for a

drink tonight or maybe a meal?

Sure.

Wow, okay, terrific. I would like that.

Speak English to me. I mean, just lay it
out.

What can a brother do? Help a brother
out, as they say on the street.

Uh -huh.

No, I just... It's fine if everyone's
having a run around.

What?

What? Oh, yeah, there. Okay.

Anyway, uh, okay. Well, I better go and,
uh, talk to you later. Yeah, whatever.

I gotta, I gotta take this call.

Oh!

Hi,

Jeremy.

Um, this is Eddie.

We're getting kind of serious, so...
Stop it, Ed! Oh!

I see.

Oh, yes.

Hello. How are you doing?

Good. I'm here to see Dr.

Good. I'm Dr.

Myron Finkelstein. How are you? I'm
fine. Thank you. How are you? I love

work, by the way.

But some of it's a little bizarre, I've
got to say.

I mean, the bathroom, for instance.

The colors. What?

Didn't you do the bathroom? Didn't you
design it? No? Oh, no, no. Is that you?

No.

Oh, thank you, Paul. Thank you. All
right.

Lola Buckingham. I'm Dr Good's
assistant.

Okay. Would you like to take a seat and
I'll let the doctor know you're here?

Yes. Okay, please have a seat here.

Doctor. Yeah.

Jeff Goldblum's here.

Okay.

She'll be right with you.

Thank you so much.

How you doing? Hi, hi, hi.

Thank you.

You're waiting for Dr Good, right? Yes,
I am.

I don't, you know, personally, I don't
like to keep people waiting.

My husband, Eddie, would never go to
strippers. He is not so insecure and not

fucked in the head that he needs some
prostitutes to come over and make him

like a man.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What are the odds I'd hit your tiny
penis with that?

You're asking me to come in and see you
today?

Today? It doesn't have to be today, but
unless if you have to run and she

doesn't come out, I'm available.

That's all I'm saying.

That's the craziest thing I've ever
heard. It's not that crazy. I mean, I've

heard crazier things.

Well, how did you hear about my problem?
It was a referral.

One of my manager types.

Okay. Have you ever been in therapy
before?

Yes, I have.

Yeah? For a long time?

You know, I started many years ago.

I was getting married to my first wife
around the time I thought, oh, I

should... You've had wives?

I have had two wives of nine years, of
six years, and then another relationship

of four years, and then... Do they
usually end because of you or them?

But I wouldn't say it publicly but
between you and I I know we're just

to know each other.

This is a safe haven. Thank you.

Utterly confidential.

I would say because of me.

Did you ever have that ups and downs
like this?

Because I know you're, I mean, you
weren't, it's like any other business.

weren't busy all the time, were you?

You're coming back. You know, there's a
lot of books being written on you.

A new one just came out. You're getting
to be like Lincoln.

Are you seeing somebody now?

No, currently not anybody's steady.

And do you tend to participate in
relationships with women your own age?

Not my own age. They're significantly
older?

Younger. I want to ask you something.
This is purely part of the exercise.

I mean, am I too old for you? Do I look
too old for you? Does this do anything

to you?

I think you're very attractive.

Scale from 1 to 10.

These people want to make homosexuals
straight.

I wonder if I could talk to people, what
is it, in the closet.

Instead of coming in the office and
saying, well, I'm going to do this in

closet, make them comfortable.

Why can't you commit? What is it about
men, particularly in this industry, that

makes them unable to commit?

No. Anyway, I just wish for once in a
while you guys would just actually have

relationship and follow it through.

Instead of just spraying your seed all
over Hollywood.

Yeah, well, wow.

You know, it might be a good idea if I
work with people with physical problems.

Hunchbacks.

I've got to do something.

You referred to some things there.

I'd like to go over them point by point,
but that didn't necessarily that I

think you may be assuming or
extrapolating from what we've already

which may be a leap of an assumption
that may be incorrect.

That's first of all. But second of all,
you may be referring to something else.

I'm just putting it into some kind of
context for you to understand. But you

seem particularly, you're kind of
unhappy.

I'm just, I'm just, I'm just.

I couldn't be happier. I'm an extremely
happy person.

Oh, hi.

Hello there.

Nice job on the floors, may I say.

Well, I'm glad. I just want to do one
quick once -over around here. The whole

place? Yeah, everywhere.

Okay, I'll let the doctor know you're
here. Okay.

I'm curious, did any of your therapists
in the past bring up the word

narcissistic? Oh, sure. It's been heard.

What does it mean? I'm very self
-involved. I mean, I know. The floor guy

needs to finish up. Is that okay?

Yeah.

Good. Yo.

We've just had the floors redone.

There is something that goes hand in
hand with acting, which is a constant

exploration of self. But it's always
within the context of the world. So it's

how you relate to other people, how you
relate to the world.

Brian, you know what? This is so light
maple.

We're going to stain those darker.

The whole floor?

I'm going to have to be out of the
office for like a day.

Yeah, probably a day, maybe even two, I
would say.

So, basically, the problem with
narcissists is they don't see themselves

context. Jeff Goldblum, right?

I'm a big fan. I love The Fly. I love
the Jurassic Park movies.

I love them.

Thank you so much. Are you having some
kind of problems?

Brian, he's having a lot. That's why we
need to get back.

Just stain it on a weekend.

If you ever want to just rap with just a
regular dude about him, I'm good with

that stuff. So, you know, whatever.

Yeah, I'm going to get on the stain
stuff. Thank you.

So speaking of narcissism... Wait, wait,
wait. I'm so sorry.

Are you kidding?

What? You don't think it should be
darker?

No, I know.

Hold on a second. Hold on.

Dr. Good's office.

Andy, I can't fit you in. I tried.

I can talk to the doctor. I'm going to
have to call you back.

Thank you. Okay, bye.

God.

Hey.

When are you going to be done with the
whole job?

I'm finished.

What about the office?

Yeah, I'm not doing that. My owner says
I stop right here at the door.

Well, what if I, what if I, how much
would it cost to do the office?

I don't know, a few hundred bucks.

A few hundred bucks?

So how are you doing?

Did he ask when he was in here, is he
okay? And you said, no, very not okay.

That's why we have to keep talking. Did
I misunderstand that or is that what you

said? Dr. Good. We're talking about
narcissism. It's nice to be recognized,

isn't it?

No, no, no. When we're in the 50 minutes
that we have, let's go over some of

what I assumed were the ground rules. I
can give you another 40 seconds at the

end.

I see women and I feel like they don't
relate to me in the way I want them to.

And I want to take them home and I want
to put them in a closet or in some kind

of trunk until they can understand. You
know, that's a feeling that I have all

the time.

She had it in writing not to go into the
office?

When you are acting on a stage, aren't
there key grips and sound guys and

around you?

Well, wait a minute. This is the place
where I service people that come to see

me. So I don't have key grips, but I
have people that help me with my floors.

And I have a fabulous Hispanic maid who
comes in and changes the garbage bag.

It takes a village in my profession. So
why can't you see it as, you know,

you're on my set.

And I'm the director.

Oh, my golly.

I woke up recently, and there was this
deer carcass in my bed, and I just had

idea how it got there at all.

Do you have a leak in here, or is that
me?

Oh, motherfucker.

So why don't you marinate, if you will,
in what we talked about today, and you

can see Lola on the way back. I have a
celebrity exit, which is not the door

came in,

Looks like a coke closet.

Good luck with everything. Thank you so
much. You too.

Thank

you

so much. I'll call you. Thank

you. Nice to meet you. Lola. Yeah. Thank
you. Thank you, Lola. My pleasure.

Hold that elevator.

Hey,

man,

I was serious. If you really want to rap
with somebody, you know, I am a good

listener. I'm totally, totally
available.

Did you work out whatever, you know, you
needed to work out in there?

Actually,

I did have a question.

No, are there real dinosaurs in Jurassic
Park?

Wow, lingonberry teeny.

How's your fjord?

I don't know what these are, but I'm
afraid they're seal droppings.

You're really funny.

I can't believe anybody would let you
go.

Oh, well, you know. So how did you know
you were...

over your relationship did you just wake
up one morning and go i'm over it

probably when i found all my stuff on
the street no i didn't i'm kidding i'm

kidding you know what my wife ex -wife
we transitioned out of it so great i

we're still like best friends really
yeah i actually caught uh my ex

with two naked women oh my god no i'd
rather what did you do i left but you

i'm strong i can i've moved right on i
don't talk to him i don't need him no

So you bake? I love that. I love the man
that bakes.

I've been known to make a dessert or
two. You should come over sometime.

I make this amazing apple pie crust that
my grandmother taught me.

They always say the secret to a man's
heart is through his stomach. I think

the other way around.

I do. I think it's the secret to it.

Anyway. I'm sorry. Can you just give me
one second?

Please, one second.

Hey.

Hey, Blue, come here. Let me get you
another drink. No, you know what? I find

this incredibly distracting.

I can't stand people that are rude. And
we've been sitting here for an hour, and

I just have to deal with this right now.

Hi, I'm really sorry. I hate to be rude.

But I'm not a lesbian, and we're not
looking for a hooker.

And I find it very distracting even
staring at me for like an hour. No, no,

This is a disaster. Why?

Because she's so aggressive.

I'm sorry. Who are you? She's very
sweet. She was crying today early.

This is totally weird for me. I'm on a
date and you're... This is my ex -wife

and she watches my date. She has a
better eye than I do.

Oh my God, this is the craziest thing
I've ever heard. I've been on some bad

dates before, but this is... I saw
Brunette. I saw Brunette earlier in the

bathroom. She seemed a little weepy and
I think she'd be really right.

Oh, my God, not that.

Oh, yeah?

We're going to... You go.

Go. Yeah.

So tell me about her. What was she? Is
she... Oh, freckly and kind of... Oh,

freckles. Really beautiful.

Beautiful.

quesadilla