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Captioning made possible
By mgm home entertainment
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Oliver: ♪ green acres
Is the place to be ♪
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♪ farm livin' is
The life for me ♪
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♪ land spreadin'
Out so far and wide ♪
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♪ keep manhattan, just
Give me that countryside ♪
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Lisa: ♪ new york ♪
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♪ is where I'd rather stay ♪
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♪ I get allergic ♪
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♪ smelling hay ♪
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♪ I just adore a
Penthouse view ♪
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♪ darling, I love you ♪
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♪ but give me park avenue ♪
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♪ the chores ♪
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♪ the stores ♪
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00:01:01,746 --> 00:01:03,511
♪ fresh air ♪
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♪ times square ♪
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00:01:04,715 --> 00:01:06,581
♪ you are my wife ♪
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♪ good-bye, city life ♪
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♪ green acres, we are there ♪
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Oh!
21
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:44,303
Oh, good morning, dear.
22
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What's good about it?
23
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Ah, a beautiful day, isn't it?
24
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,181
Flattery will get you nowhere.
25
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Oh, lisa!
26
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,720
Ugh.
27
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,532
Lisa.
28
00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:18,003
Some husbands have big
Bedrooms for their wives.
29
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:20,705
Oh!
30
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,410
Excuse me. Oh.
31
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,390
Honey, where are you
Getting all those blankets?
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00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:28,914
Outside the window.
33
00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:33,952
Aw! For...
34
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,720
Ugh.
35
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:36,822
Oh!
36
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,025
Oh!
37
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:41,960
Lisa, what's the
Matter with you?
38
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:46,998
I am tired of making the
Bed inside and outside.
39
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:49,179
This room is too
Tight to move around.
40
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,402
No. It's not so bad. It's...
41
00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:52,838
Ohh!
42
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:54,350
What's the matter?
43
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:56,341
I'm stuck.
44
00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:59,711
Well, you can stay
Stuck for all I care.
45
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:01,424
Either you make
This room bigger,
46
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,226
Or the 6 months I
Promised to stay
47
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,549
Are up immediately.
48
00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:06,417
Lisa!
49
00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:08,119
I called a carpenter 3 weeks ago
50
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,365
To come and give us an estimate.
51
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:11,723
Well, I'll give you an estimate.
52
00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:13,036
Either you make this room bigger
53
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,159
Or I'm leaving.
54
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:15,560
Oh, lisa!
55
00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:16,895
It's either or.
56
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,596
All right. I'll call them later.
57
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:20,109
That's either. Good-bye.
58
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:23,534
No, no! I'll call him right now.
59
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:25,237
Go that way. It's faster.
60
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:45,390
Oh, good morning, mr. Douglas.
61
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:47,570
Good morning, eb. What
Are you doing here?
62
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:49,294
Calling my girl.
63
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:52,264
Ophelia, are you still there?
64
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:54,599
Well, I'm still here.
65
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:55,747
8:00 tonight all right?
66
00:03:57,670 --> 00:03:59,871
Ok. I'll drive by
And pick you up.
67
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,751
Mr. Douglas, can I
Borrow your car tonight?
68
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:02,807
No.
69
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,411
I'll walk by and pick you up.
70
00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:07,512
Good-bye.
71
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,836
It's all yours, mr. Douglas.
72
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:23,895
Hello, sarah?
73
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,004
Can you connect me
74
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:26,872
To the monroe brothers, please.
75
00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:32,603
Carpenter shop.
76
00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:34,150
Oh, hello. Is this the
Monroe brothers?
77
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,674
No. This is just one of them.
78
00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:37,887
Oliver, on phone:
Well, uh, this is...
79
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,911
Which one do you want
To talk to, alf or ralph?
80
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,490
It doesn't make any difference.
81
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:43,815
Well, it does to us.
One of us is married.
82
00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:45,016
Who are you?
83
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:46,617
I'm alf. Ralph is out.
84
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:48,431
Oh, well, this is mr. Douglas.
85
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,199
Uh, you promised to come
Over here 3 weeks ago
86
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:51,367
And give me an estimate
87
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:52,468
On enlarging the bedroom.
88
00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:54,759
Oh, yeah. Well, ralph's
Been on vacation.
89
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,172
Well, when will he be back?
90
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,163
Last wednesday.
91
00:04:58,231 --> 00:04:59,164
You want us to come out today?
92
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,944
Yes. I'd appreciate
It very much.
93
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,834
This is very important.
94
00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:04,002
Thank you.
95
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,838
Mr. Douglas, if
You'll lend me the car,
96
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:08,840
I'll get it washed for you free!
97
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:09,941
No, thanks.
98
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,709
Ophelia's the front
Fender swabber
99
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,311
At the pixley car wash.
100
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,480
Right.
101
00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:18,583
She worked her way up
From rear bumper swabber.
102
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:19,985
She's got ambition!
103
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:22,587
I'm sure she has.
104
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,822
Did you get the
Bedroom-enlarging man?
105
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,402
Yes. They'll be here today.
106
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:27,825
They better be.
107
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,161
Remember. Either or.
108
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,178
Your milking's
Improving, mr. Douglas.
109
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:36,301
Ain't it, eleanor?
110
00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:41,739
That's right from
The horse's mouth.
111
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,445
First time I ever saw
You, I said to myself,
112
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:51,049
There's a man who's got the
Makings of a great farmer.
113
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:55,186
A man who could plow
A field, plant a crop,
114
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:58,323
Milk a cow, and lend
His hired hand his car.
115
00:05:58,392 --> 00:05:59,491
No!
116
00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:01,292
Well, if you won't
Lend me the car,
117
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,538
Would you lend
Me the front seat?
118
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,073
What do you want
The front seat for?
119
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,364
It'll look a lot better
Than standing at the drive-in
120
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:07,433
All through the movie.
121
00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:11,536
You can't have the
Car or the front seat.
122
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:13,171
How about the horn?
123
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,206
So's we can toot
During intermission.
124
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:18,009
Will you forget about the car.
125
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,124
I'm not getting any milk.
126
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,247
I guess eleanor can tell
127
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:25,816
When there's a mean
Hand on the throttle.
128
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:26,996
Here. You take over.
129
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,787
Yes, sir.
130
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:32,690
Co-pilot to crew, I'm
Taking over the controls.
131
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,799
Well, hello, mr. Haney.
132
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,068
That'll be $12.
133
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,236
Just for saying hello?
134
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:47,305
No. For this.
135
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,510
Oh, that's a photograph
Of the house.
136
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:55,813
Painted personal
By dory comstock.
137
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:57,748
He's got a lot of talent.
138
00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,617
He done this.
139
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,922
Oh! That is a work of art.
140
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:09,494
When narrow ties come in,
The world lost a great artist.
141
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,662
That's a matter of opinion.
142
00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:13,565
Would you like to buy it?
143
00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:16,934
For just $2, you can
Have an old masterpiece
144
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,470
Hanging around your neck.
145
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:19,837
No, thank you.
146
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,384
And no, thank you for that.
147
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:22,507
Well, I just thought
148
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:25,110
You might like to remember
How the house looked
149
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:28,079
Before you brought
In the monroe brothers
150
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:31,182
To destroy its
Magnificent symmetry.
151
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,328
How did you find out
152
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:33,463
About the monroe brothers?
153
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,853
We're on the same party line.
154
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:37,855
I just happened to
Pick up the telephone
155
00:07:37,924 --> 00:07:39,491
And heard you talking to ralph.
156
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,259
I was talking to alf.
157
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:42,371
Oh, well, you must have had
158
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,562
A better connection than I did.
159
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,164
Or else I didn't hear so good,
160
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,600
Because I felt kind of faint
161
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,701
When I heard what
You was gonna do
162
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,303
To my house.
163
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:55,373
It's not your house.
I bought it from you.
164
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:57,609
Yeah. But I built it.
165
00:07:57,677 --> 00:08:01,546
Mr. Douglas, I put my heart
And soul into that house.
166
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,381
You should have used lumber.
167
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:06,417
Oh, that is cruel.
168
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,419
Almost as cruel as bringing in
169
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,722
A couple of perfect
Strangers to change it.
170
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:15,527
Mr. Douglas, nobody but
Me should touch that house.
171
00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:18,029
Well, mr. Haney, I appreciate
172
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:19,937
Your love for this old mansion,
173
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,667
But the monroe brothers
Are going to do the job.
174
00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:23,868
Oh, well, now, I'll admit
175
00:08:23,936 --> 00:08:25,181
That they're mighty
Good carpenters.
176
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,205
Mm-hmm.
177
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,239
And they use the
Very finest materials.
178
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:29,308
That's right.
179
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,509
And their prices are right.
180
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:36,581
And the building inspector
Will never approve of their work.
181
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:37,748
Why not?
182
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:40,251
'cause he's my cousin.
183
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:42,320
Are you trying to tell me
184
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:43,499
That unless you do the job,
185
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,733
Your cousin won't approve it?
186
00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:45,790
Well, no, sir.
187
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,036
What I'm trying
To tell you is...
188
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,394
Oh, there you are, darling.
189
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,474
Oh, good morning, mr. Haney.
190
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:53,864
It wasn't until you walked out
191
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:56,000
And made the sun shine.
192
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,902
Oh, no!
193
00:08:57,970 --> 00:09:01,739
You're like a south wind
Blowing down the canyon
194
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:05,009
Causing the pine trees
To murmur to each other,
195
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:08,613
"Let mr. Haney
Enlarge your bedroom."
196
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:11,749
Aren't the monroe
Brothers going to do it?
197
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,418
They are.
198
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:14,897
Well, then, why is mr. Haney
199
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:17,522
Murmuring in the pine trees?
200
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,357
He can murmur all day,
201
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:21,003
But the monroe brothers
Are going to do it.
202
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,126
Is that definite?
203
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:23,894
Yes. Ok.
204
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:26,497
Do you want to pay me
A consultation fee now
205
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,798
Or do you want me to bill you?
206
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,400
Your consultation fee?
207
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,869
For warning you
About my cousin buford.
208
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,608
Mrs. Douglas, he's the
Tough building inspector
209
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:40,245
That probably ain't going
To approve of your bedroom.
210
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,780
Oliver, why won't his cousin
211
00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:43,981
Approve the bedroom?
212
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,717
Oh! He's just
Trying to coerce me.
213
00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:46,929
You're wasting your time.
214
00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:49,220
Then you ain't gonna
Buy the photograph?
215
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,588
No.
216
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,657
Or the hand-painted necktie?
217
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:55,460
Definitely not.
218
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,564
Then I guess I am
Wasting my time.
219
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:00,998
I'll be seeing ya.
220
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:12,143
Oliver, could he
Really do something?
221
00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:13,378
No, no.
222
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,857
He's always got
Some kind of an angle.
223
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:16,281
Probably doesn't
Even have a cousin.
224
00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:18,327
He's just trying to... Eb!
225
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:19,431
Eb, what are you doing?
226
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:22,086
Washing the car.
227
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,032
In case you change your mind.
228
00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:26,758
Well, I'm not going
To change my mind.
229
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,971
Oh, why don't you
Let him have your car?
230
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:30,428
Because I don't want to.
231
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,330
How about the front seat?
232
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:35,300
It's a long picture to stand up.
233
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:36,867
Has he been talking to you?
234
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,068
No.
235
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:39,236
How about the horn?
236
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,239
He's not going to get
The car and that's that!
237
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,309
Now let...
238
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,442
Oh, excuse me.
239
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:46,311
You called me this
Morning for an estimate.
240
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:47,956
Oh, you're the monroe brothers.
241
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,580
No. I'm just one
Of them. I'm alf.
242
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,693
Ah, well, I'm mr. Douglas.
243
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:51,649
Glad to know you.
244
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:52,861
Uh-huh. How do you do.
245
00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:54,096
And this is mrs. Douglas.
246
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,721
Oh, how... Uh, would
You... Would you mind?
247
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,189
Uh-huh.
248
00:10:58,257 --> 00:10:59,290
How do you do?
249
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,469
Are you the enlarger?
250
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,659
Yes, ma'am.
251
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:03,238
Now, what we'd like is s...
252
00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:05,396
Ralph, ease off!
253
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,699
Ralph... Ralph made
Some sketches.
254
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:09,667
Ralph? Bring the
Sketches out here.
255
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:10,835
Ralph?
256
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:11,936
Ralph?
257
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,660
I'd like you to meet
My brother ralph.
258
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:18,309
Howdy doody.
259
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:20,712
Your brother is a girl?
260
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,191
No, he's really my sister.
261
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,515
I don't understand.
262
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:25,661
Wouldn't you be a little dubious
263
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,262
About hiring a girl carpenter?
264
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:30,321
Oh, yes. I suppose so.
265
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,067
That's why I call him ralph.
266
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:33,469
Oh, you don't have
To worry about her.
267
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,853
She makes a miter that'd
Knock your eye out.
268
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:39,597
You draw the plans for
Enlarging the kitchen?
269
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,998
Oh, yeah, yeah.
270
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,333
Here. Here they are.
271
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:43,479
Wait. We didn't want
The kitchen enlarged.
272
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:44,602
Oh, why not?
273
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:45,881
We could do that, too.
274
00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:47,204
No. Lisa...
275
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,574
And the bedroom and the
Living room and bathroom.
276
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,208
We could tear down
The whole house
277
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:53,110
And start from over.
278
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:55,580
Whole house done again, huh?
279
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:56,792
All righty. We can...
280
00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:57,915
Wait a minute, alf.
281
00:11:57,984 --> 00:11:59,851
We got that job
Over at stubin bluffs.
282
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:01,085
Oh, I forgot.
283
00:12:01,153 --> 00:12:03,421
We're building a
2-story chicken coop.
284
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:04,622
Chicken coop.
285
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,502
Look, have you ever done
286
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:07,837
Any house remodeling?
287
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:08,861
Oh, yeah.
288
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,239
We redid the ziffel place.
289
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,696
That was a real big job.
290
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:12,965
Took us over 2 months.
291
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:14,965
2 months?
292
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:16,512
Well, I know mr. Ziffel.
293
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:17,613
If you've got any
Doubts, why don't you
294
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:18,569
Take a run over
There and look at it.
295
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,716
I think I might just do that.
296
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,050
Lisa, will you show
The gentlemen...
297
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,986
Uh, I mean the gentleman
298
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:26,611
And his, um, brother...
299
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:27,612
What you want done.
300
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,124
How much bigger do you want it?
301
00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:30,481
Oh, I don't know.
302
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,894
Just lay it out and
Give me an estimate.
303
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,551
Come along. I'll
Show you around.
304
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:34,620
Come on, alf.
305
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,034
Hey, you did a good job, eb.
306
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:40,058
Thanks, mr. Douglas.
307
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,397
Next time, put the top up!
308
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,204
Hello, mr. Douglas.
309
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:55,740
How are you, mr. Ziffel?
310
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,052
Good. I'm glad to see you, sir.
311
00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:58,175
Thank you.
312
00:12:58,244 --> 00:12:59,354
Come on in and sit down.
313
00:12:59,378 --> 00:13:00,311
Thank you.
314
00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:01,312
Arnold, get down from there
315
00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:03,140
And let mr. Douglas sit down.
316
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,683
Wait, I don't want
To disturb him.
317
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:07,262
Well, he needs disturbing.
318
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:08,831
He sits around too much.
319
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,055
Go on out and chase your ball.
320
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,828
Doris got him spoiled
Something awful.
321
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,162
Sit down, mr. Douglas.
322
00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:19,230
Thank you. Thank you.
323
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,833
Now, mr. Douglas, what
Can I do for you, sir?
324
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:23,901
Well, I wanted to
Talk to you about...
325
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,213
Fred, have you seen my hairpins?
326
00:13:25,237 --> 00:13:26,381
Oh, hello, mr. Douglas.
327
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:27,338
Mrs. Ziffel.
328
00:13:27,406 --> 00:13:29,674
You see that, fred?
329
00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:31,086
See what he did when
I came in the room?
330
00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:32,910
What? Stood up.
331
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,078
What's the matter?
332
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:35,223
Ain't your chair comfortable?
333
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:36,647
Well, yes, but...
334
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,483
Well, sit down, sir.
335
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,551
Stand up.
336
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:42,197
You see, fred, that's
What a gentleman does
337
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:43,966
When a lady comes in the room.
338
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:47,358
Doris, you been going
To the library again.
339
00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:50,628
What is that you wanted
To ask me, mr. Douglas?
340
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,007
I wanted to talk
To you about the...
341
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:54,565
Sit down. Oh, thank you.
342
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:55,733
How's your wife?
343
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,245
Oh, fine. Thank you.
344
00:13:57,269 --> 00:13:59,036
She always looks so pretty.
345
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:00,705
You do, too, mr. Douglas.
346
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:02,740
Thank you.
347
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,186
Well, I'm going
Over to see kate.
348
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,843
So long.
349
00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:06,844
You see that, fred?
350
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,413
Even stands up when I leave.
351
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:10,593
Sit down. Oh, thanks.
352
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,983
Stand up.
353
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:13,261
You know, you could take
A few lessons from him.
354
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:14,385
Doing what?
355
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:15,386
Standing up.
356
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:16,988
I know how to stand up.
357
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:18,266
Well, then, why
Don't you stand up
358
00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:19,290
When I come in the room?
359
00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:21,325
Because you
Always take my chair.
360
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,360
Oh, fred.
361
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:24,695
So long. So long, mr. Douglas.
362
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:25,908
Oliver: good-bye.
363
00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:26,964
Sit down.
364
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,153
I've been trying to.
365
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,746
Fred: you know, mr. Douglas,
366
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:33,137
I've been thinking about it.
367
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,606
Maybe I ain't been
As polite to doris
368
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,252
As I oughter have been.
369
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:38,888
You know, she's a good woman.
370
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:41,311
Awfully good woman. Good worker.
371
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:44,281
Oh, you ought to
See her behind a plow!
372
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:49,053
And she's
Kind-hearted to a fault.
373
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:50,165
Mr. Douglas, there ain't
374
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:51,734
Another woman in this valley
375
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,791
That I'd trust my pigs with.
376
00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:58,529
Well, it's nice to have
Such an ideal mate.
377
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:02,299
Now, I wanted to talk to you
About the monroe brothers.
378
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:04,802
Oh, the monroe brothers, yes.
379
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,849
You see, they ain't
Really brothers.
380
00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,138
One of them's a sister.
381
00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:09,506
Yes. I know.
382
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:10,986
They said they did
Some work for you.
383
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,342
Yes. They did.
384
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:13,522
Pretty good job, too.
385
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:14,812
What did they do?
386
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,592
Well, come here. I'll show you.
387
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,515
They fixed this door, here.
388
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,018
You see, I had them
To rehang this door.
389
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,387
This door used to
Open out the other way.
390
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,822
It opens this way now.
391
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:32,797
In 2 months, is
This all they did?
392
00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:35,566
Well, they knocked
Down the front porch.
393
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,334
Of course, that was an accident.
394
00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:39,704
They didn't charge me for that.
395
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,138
Well, uh, thank you...
396
00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:49,546
Now, arnold, I didn't tell you
397
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,048
You could turn
On that television.
398
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,160
How could he do that?
399
00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:53,283
I don't know.
400
00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:55,086
Doris taught him, I reckon.
401
00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:57,554
Oh. Well, thank you, mr. Ziffel.
402
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:58,756
Yes, sir.
403
00:15:58,825 --> 00:15:59,825
Very kind of you.
404
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,336
Yes, sir. Glad you come over.
405
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,392
Good. Bye-bye.
406
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,137
Park your car, sir?
407
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:14,471
No, thank you.
408
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:17,207
Ah! Ah!
409
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:25,884
What happened to the d...
410
00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:36,627
How do you like the estimate?
411
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,929
What have they done?
412
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,631
Well, they pushed out the walls
413
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:44,468
So we can see how big
The room is going to be.
414
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,137
Why did you let
Them do that for?
415
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,104
Well, they said they do it
416
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,839
To all the chicken coops.
417
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,307
It's going to be lovely.
418
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,643
Look. This is the
Clothes closet.
419
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,279
And we can walk right
Through to the shower.
420
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,192
And, look. I can make up the bed
421
00:16:57,216 --> 00:16:58,849
On both sides inside.
422
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,386
Why did y...
423
00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:03,532
Where are they?
424
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,389
They went to get the lumber.
425
00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:06,969
I didn't even see the estimate!
426
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:08,225
It's very good.
427
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:09,371
How much is it?
428
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:10,928
1 week.
429
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,063
1 week?
430
00:17:12,131 --> 00:17:15,066
That's all it's going
To take them to build it.
431
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:17,467
How much is it going to cost?
432
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,136
Well, they tell you
When they're through.
433
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:22,785
I'm not going to approve
An estimate like that.
434
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,875
You don't have to. I did.
435
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:25,944
You did?
436
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:27,489
This is community property
437
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:30,314
And my community
Said to go right ahead.
438
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,083
What about the specifications?
439
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,185
What kind of lumber
Are they going to use?
440
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:36,754
Very good. Wood lumber.
441
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:38,388
Oh, lisa!
442
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:39,902
Why, darling, if
You don't like it
443
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,036
When they're through,
444
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,980
You can sleep in
The living room.
445
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:46,764
I am not going to
Sleep in the living room.
446
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:47,932
Then you like it.
447
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,600
Well, if it makes you happy.
448
00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:50,979
But it won't make you happy.
449
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:52,003
It will. It will.
450
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,003
Then why are you sleeping
451
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,004
In the living room?
452
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,305
I'm not...
453
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,541
Look, tell them to
Go ahead. To build it.
454
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:58,642
They can't.
455
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,544
Why not?
456
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:01,623
They need a building permit.
457
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,147
Well, let them get one.
458
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:05,094
They can't. They're
Getting the lumber.
459
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,628
Well, who's going to
Get the building permit?
460
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,185
You. From mr. Drucker.
461
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,495
Monroe brothers are the
Contractors, is that right?
462
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:19,604
Yes. That's right.
463
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:21,498
Well, you couldn't
Have got 2 better boys.
464
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:23,533
Except ralph.
465
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:24,713
You really think
They're good, huh?
466
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,637
Did you see what they
Did for fred ziffel?
467
00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:27,972
Yes.
468
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,600
Ooh, that door of
His really swings now.
469
00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:32,721
Well, I guess
That about does it.
470
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:36,647
Except I have to stamp it
With a building code stamp.
471
00:18:36,715 --> 00:18:38,182
Where is that thing?
472
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,184
Oh, well, I'll just
Stamp it air mail.
473
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,719
Nobody ever reads these
Building permits anyway.
474
00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:59,136
Who moved the bed?
475
00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:00,905
Howdy doody, mr. Douglas.
476
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,350
Oh, did you get the permit?
477
00:19:02,374 --> 00:19:03,507
Yes, but...
478
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:05,120
How do you like it so far?
479
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,012
I'd like to find out how
Much it's going to cost.
480
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,684
I said how much
Is it going to cost?
481
00:19:13,752 --> 00:19:15,530
We can't tell you
Till we're all finished.
482
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:19,123
Then we'll give you a
Real accurate estimate.
483
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:20,991
Don't you have any idea?
484
00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:25,162
Saw that.
485
00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:27,932
Now, I tell you, it
Won't be too expensive.
486
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000
How big a trapdoor do you want?
487
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:34,004
Well, I d... I... What trapdoor?
488
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:35,672
The one in the ceiling.
489
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:38,309
So we can climb up the
Pole to answer the phone.
490
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,980
You can't leave
The pole in the room!
491
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:44,049
Why not?
492
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:46,397
It'll make a wonderful
Conversation piece.
493
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:49,053
I don't want a telephone
Pole in the bedroom.
494
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:51,055
You mean, you
Want us to move it?
495
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:52,422
Yes. We can't.
496
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:53,423
That's the property
497
00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:55,003
Of the hooterville
Telephone company.
498
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,538
They're the only
Ones who can move it.
499
00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:57,895
Is that so?
500
00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:00,097
Well, I'll straighten that out.
501
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,398
I'll call sarah.
502
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:02,967
She's not there, darling.
503
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,768
She went bowling
With her league.
504
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:07,338
Hey, that's right!
Today's wednesday.
505
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:08,672
Come on, ralph!
506
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:09,840
Where are you going?
507
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:10,919
We're in the league!
508
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,042
Come on!
509
00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:13,043
Oliver: wait a minute.
510
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:14,544
You can't leave it like this.
511
00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:22,197
You had to enlarge the bedroom.
512
00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:29,647
Hey. Is dinner ready, honey?
513
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:30,627
Almost.
514
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:31,628
What are we having?
515
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:32,697
Guess.
516
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:35,565
Not hotcakes again.
517
00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:36,700
No.
518
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,002
Veetcakes.
519
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,371
I did it with our own veets.
520
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:41,471
You what?
521
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,487
I went into the fields
522
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:46,821
And I picked some veets
523
00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:49,679
And I put it in the batter.
524
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:53,450
Lisa, you don't use
Wheat from the field.
525
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:57,165
I just came in to
Say good night.
526
00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:58,789
Doesn't eb look nice!
527
00:20:58,857 --> 00:21:00,035
Thank you, mrs. Douglas.
528
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:03,593
Ophelia likes the
Ivory league clothes.
529
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,429
Aren't you starting
A little early?
530
00:21:05,497 --> 00:21:06,830
Well, I'm walking.
531
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:07,932
Ain't I?
532
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,166
Yes.
533
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:10,379
You won't change your mind?
534
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:11,735
No.
535
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:13,048
Well, I hope you
Have better luck
536
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:14,883
With mr. Wilkins
Than I have with you.
537
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:15,839
Wilkins?
538
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:17,085
The building inspector.
539
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,949
He's looking over your bedroom.
540
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,016
Ah, hello there.
541
00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:27,318
Howdy.
542
00:21:27,386 --> 00:21:28,919
I'm mr. Douglas.
543
00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:31,922
You look like your cousin.
544
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,324
Which one?
545
00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:34,558
Mr. Haney.
546
00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:37,627
Folks do say they's
A slight resemblance.
547
00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:39,241
But I look more like my aunt.
548
00:21:39,265 --> 00:21:41,265
Except she don't wear glasses.
549
00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:43,700
I'm glad you didn't
Let my cousin
550
00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:45,769
Talk you into
Giving him this job.
551
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:47,537
Them monroe brothers,
552
00:21:47,606 --> 00:21:49,373
They know their business.
553
00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:50,522
Then this is all right, eh?
554
00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:51,675
Oh, yeah.
555
00:21:51,743 --> 00:21:54,945
There's no reason
Why I shouldn't mark it
556
00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:58,048
A-proved.
557
00:21:58,117 --> 00:21:59,117
Hi, mr. Wilkins.
558
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,484
Oh, hi, eb.
559
00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:02,519
So, you're taking ophelia
560
00:22:02,588 --> 00:22:04,466
To the drive-in
Movie tonight, huh?
561
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:05,422
Yes, sir.
562
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,057
Ophelia's mr. Wilkins' daughter.
563
00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:08,806
Ah. Oh.
564
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:12,096
It's mighty nice of you to
Let the kids have the car.
565
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,897
He ain't letting us have it.
566
00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:15,265
He ain't?
567
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:18,202
Dis a-proved.
568
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:20,537
Hey, wait a minute.
569
00:22:20,606 --> 00:22:23,240
Also con-demned.
570
00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:26,243
Darling, you better
Let him have the car.
571
00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:27,244
No. I won't.
572
00:22:27,313 --> 00:22:29,413
Double con-demned.
573
00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:32,349
This is nothing but blackmail!
574
00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:34,318
$50 fine.
575
00:22:34,387 --> 00:22:36,553
Look. I'm not going
To pay any fine.
576
00:22:36,622 --> 00:22:42,559
$100 fine for refusing
To pay $50 fine.
577
00:22:42,628 --> 00:22:45,529
Oliver, give him the keys.
578
00:22:45,597 --> 00:22:46,730
No. I'm not going to.
579
00:22:46,798 --> 00:22:49,099
It's either or.
580
00:22:49,168 --> 00:22:52,802
All right.
581
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:56,373
A-proved.
582
00:22:56,442 --> 00:22:57,652
Thank you, mr. Douglas.
583
00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:01,078
That was a mighty nice thing
That you did, mr. Douglas.
584
00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:03,325
Now can we get the permit?
585
00:23:03,349 --> 00:23:04,915
Certainly can.
586
00:23:04,983 --> 00:23:05,916
There you are.
587
00:23:05,984 --> 00:23:07,851
Signed, sealed and de-livered.
588
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:08,852
Thank you.
589
00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:09,986
By the way,
590
00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:13,590
You'll notice that I
Approved this for occupancy
591
00:23:13,659 --> 00:23:17,761
Of no more than 60
Chickens and 2 roosters.
592
00:23:17,829 --> 00:23:19,563
Well, that's very...
593
00:23:19,631 --> 00:23:22,666
What's that about the
Chickens and the roosters?
594
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:24,179
It's going to be a bedroom.
595
00:23:24,203 --> 00:23:26,503
I don't care what the
Chickens use it for,
596
00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:28,939
As long as there's no
More than 60 of them.
597
00:23:29,007 --> 00:23:30,774
You don't seem to understand.
598
00:23:30,842 --> 00:23:34,144
The monroe brothers
Enlarged the bedroom for us.
599
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,815
Dis a-proved.
600
00:23:38,884 --> 00:23:40,451
Why?
601
00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:44,354
The monroe brothers have
A j-2 contracting license,
602
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:47,357
Which means they can
Only build chicken coops
603
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:48,625
And rehang doors.
604
00:23:48,694 --> 00:23:50,294
I'll be seeing you.
605
00:23:52,064 --> 00:23:54,631
They can't do that to us!
606
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:56,500
I got that permit
From mr. Drucker.
607
00:23:56,569 --> 00:23:58,802
I'm going to call him
And... Who took the pole?
608
00:23:58,870 --> 00:23:59,936
I didn't.
609
00:24:00,005 --> 00:24:01,271
Well, what happened to it?
610
00:24:01,340 --> 00:24:02,439
We moved it.
611
00:24:02,508 --> 00:24:03,773
Where to?
612
00:24:03,842 --> 00:24:05,342
Ben miller's farm.
613
00:24:05,411 --> 00:24:06,910
What for?
614
00:24:06,979 --> 00:24:08,545
You didn't want it.
615
00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:10,013
Ben was next in line.
616
00:24:10,082 --> 00:24:12,449
Well, get it back.
617
00:24:12,518 --> 00:24:14,585
You'll have to
File an application.
618
00:24:14,653 --> 00:24:15,685
So long, mac.
619
00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:19,990
Of all the stup...
620
00:24:20,058 --> 00:24:22,626
You want to move
Back to new york?
621
00:24:22,694 --> 00:24:24,161
No. I don't.
622
00:24:24,230 --> 00:24:25,762
Now, come on.
623
00:24:25,831 --> 00:24:27,498
Let's drive into town.
624
00:24:27,566 --> 00:24:29,566
We'll have some dinner.
We'll go to a movie.
625
00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:31,135
Put the top down on the car...
626
00:24:31,203 --> 00:24:32,302
On what car?
627
00:24:32,371 --> 00:24:33,570
The car that I loaned eb.
628
00:24:35,641 --> 00:24:37,174
We can't go out!
629
00:24:37,243 --> 00:24:38,843
Oh, yes, we can, darling.
630
00:24:53,559 --> 00:24:56,493
Captioning made possible
By mgm home entertainment
631
00:24:56,562 --> 00:24:59,682
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute... Www.Ncicap.Org...
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