All language subtitles for George and Mildred s01e02 The Bad Penny

All right, let's have it then.

Now, be careful.

Don't suck it about.

Put it over there.

Now, let's start with this bit over
here.

Go easy with that chair. It's not as
young as it was. Oi! What?

One of the legs is loose and stuffy.
It's coming out the bottom.

You've got your problems. I've got mine.

Hang on.

You take this with you.

And this.

Would you like to pop the piano on me
back before I break into a trot?

By the look of their furniture, we won't
have much difficulty in keeping up with

them.

Your nose is growing by the minute.

I'm just taking a friendly, neighbourly
interest.

God, what a lot of tat.

Isn't that plain of yours, late? Huh?
The one taking aerial photographs.

You can tell a lot about people by
looking at their furniture.

I think we'll move.

Jeffrey, you promised to make an effort
to be nice to him. Yes, well, only to

his face.

Well, how can you... It's like someone
you've only met once. Well, it's just a

knack.

Left a bit, right a bit, up a bit, down
a bit.

And that's how Charleston was born.

Right.

Where do you want it?

Oh, er, yeah, well, the wife wants it
upstairs, but I think I'll go in the

lounge. I stay up a lot at night, you
know, reading Westerns. Oh, yeah, I like

Westerns. Cowboys and that.

Oh, yeah.

Indians, too.

Indians, they're good, aren't they? Oh,
yeah.

Indeed, it's lovely, isn't it? Why?

See, this chair's very comfortable.

Of course, on the other hand, have you
got a light? I don't smoke.

I don't drink either. I just stand
around here getting ruined.

Oh, yeah, well, right, you'd better go
in here. Thank you very much. Just a

minute, I'd better go in first. Oh, hold
on.

George,

when you packed this teapot, did it not
occur to you to empty it first?

It is empty.

Well, it is now.

I've got tea leaves all over me
underwear. Look at that.

from a loved one and a journey across
the sea.

Can we put this down now? Yes, yes, put
it down somewhere over there. That's it.

If I can find the kettle, I'll make you
some tea. If I can find the tea. It's in

the kettle. Oh, it would be.

Look, George, why didn't you make a list
of where you packed everything?

I did, but I can't remember where I
packed it.

Hey, you're going to bring the bed in
next. It goes in the bedroom.

In the bedroom?

So much to learn, so little time.

It's upstairs.

Oh, George, look at this lot.

This is all I... I've got a show for 20
-odd years of married life.

Useless rubbish.

Well, you've got me, Mildred. Yes.

Useless rubbish.

I mean, George, when did we... I mean,
look at that chair.

I mean, just look at it.

Your father gave us that chair.

There's still a stain on it from the day
war was declared.

Well, that was enough to make anyone
spill their cocoa.

It's all old, George. All of it.

When was the last time we ever bought
anything new?

Last month, that coat hanger.

Oh, we can invite people in. Give them a
tour of the wardrobe.

I don't want people in, Mildred. Ah, now
you see, that's just the difference

between you and me.

I am gregarious, George, you are not.

I don't see what astrology's got to do
with it.

I like people, George.

I like mingling.

When did we last mingle, George? Oh,
don't start that again.

The only person I ever get to talk to is
Eamon Andrews, and he never answers.

I want a social life, George.

I see. It's one of your swanky dinner
parties, is it?

Everyone's standing round in plus fours
with a gob full of Arthur Aitmans.

No, thanks, Mildred. I don't want to
hear it.

Oh, of course.

God, blimey.

Well done, George. You found the kettle.

Geoffrey, if you must stand there
spying, at least give a running

Hmm? Oh, they're just taking in an item
of furniture.

What? I think it used to be a bed.

I hope they get this loading before
Margaret arrives.

Oh, it's Margaret now, is it?

Last week it was Mrs Partridge MP.

Pleased to meet you, ma 'am. Lick, lick,
lick. When you're on the committee at

the tennis club, these natural
friendships spring up quite

If you work at it. I see.

Chatted her up, did you? Not at all. We
found we had a lot in common.

Politics, sense of humour. A moustache?
Yes. No.

Well, yes.

But don't say that tonight. She's a very
important woman, Anne.

We'll frame her knife and fork. Good
idea.

Look at that dining table.

It's a tea chest.

Not that. Behind it.

It looks very similar, I grant you.

But, Geoffrey, I think you should go and
ask them if they'd like a cup of tea. I

didn't hear that, Anne. Either that or
you can help me scrape the vegetables.

Ah, I heard that.

I think I'll go and ask them if they
want a cup of tea.

Do I have to sound as if I mean it?

Yes? Oh, very well.

Daddy, Daddy, you're staying on Niff
Niff's paw.

What? Oh, sorry,

Niff Niff.

He's over there.

Sorry,

Niff Niff.

He's moved again.

Anne, I don't think this imaginary dog
is a healthy thing.

Nonsense, he's a lovely dog.

Aren't you, Niff Niff?

Coochie, coochie, coo.

See? Mummy knows where he is.

George, you have been no help to me at
all today. You should have been out

with those removal men.

They said I should be in here with you.
Well, they're no fools, are they? That's

a lot, Mrs... Right, the head of the
household would like to sign here.

Yes, certainly. Thank you.

It's got a nice tip, that pen.

Pardon? Hasn't it a nice tip?

Yes, it has got a nice... Oh, I see.

Yes, of course. I'm so sorry.

There you are. Would you like to get
yourself a drink? Oh, so very much.

I'm afraid we dropped your orange vase.

Oh, George.

They've broken that vase your mother
gave us.

Get yourself two drinks. Thank you.

Take it up there, will you?

Oh, George.

Ah.

All right, thank you very much.

Oh, by the way, um...

That box of salty magazines.

Oh, yeah, we slung it out like you said.
Oh, thank you.

It belonged to a previous document.

Yeah.

Mrs Roper, good afternoon.

Oh, Mr Formile, good afternoon.

Do come in, please.

Thank you.

I'm afraid there's a bit of a mess in
here.

Yes, it's Mr Roper, isn't it?

I've been in my family for over 20
years.

It's been a long time to keep a broken
verse.

No, it wasn't broken until just now.

Surprise me. Oh, Anne, my wife, thought
moving day and so forth that, well,

perhaps a cup of tea would be in order.
Oh, blimey, we've only been here five

minutes. He wants to make tea for him.
Oh, George, you've got hold of the wrong

end of it, as usual.

Will you tell her we'll be delighted?
We'll pop in later. Oh, good.

If there's anything else I can... Have
you been turned on?

I'm not sure.

Gas, water, electricity.

Oh! Yes, we have. Thank you. I would
offer you a sherry, but we haven't got

glasses. We haven't got any sherry
either.

That's another reason. Thank you,
George.

No, no, really.

If you have any other problems, any
problems at all, don't hesitate to deal

them. Oh, thank you.

See you later. Yes. Bye.

Bath, George.

If we are going to go next door, you are
going to have a bath.

I had a bath last month.

George, I keep telling you, once a month
is not enough. Bath.

20 -year -old Ingrid.

Trained to be a tree surgeon, but turned
over a new leaf and branched out into

modelling.

Yeah.

George? Are you in that bath yet? Yeah,
yeah.

Oh, well, then you must look very
foolish, cos there's no water in it.

I haven't heard those taps running.

Well, uh, water, uh, yeah, it's a good
idea, that. I'm thought of that.

Look, I'm not going to wait any longer.

Yeah. I'm going.

All right.

Now, if we put Mrs Partridge and
Margaret there, next to me here, giving

benefit of my better side, then you can
sit there, next to her husband there.

Incidentally, um, don't you think that
dress is a little too, um, you know?

I mean, it's not a coming out party.

I know what I'm doing. It'll take his
mind off the food.

No, but she is a conservative and he
leans a bit to the right.

Sorry, I'll lean a bit to the left and
he won't say anything.

All right.

Don't jump up and down.

Hello. Oh,

thank you, love.

I'm sorry if I was a bit delayed, but I
thought I'd better change out of my old

clothes. Oh, no, no, no, you're fine as
you are.

Is your husband with you? No.

Oh, good. Good if he'd come.

Would you like a cup of tea? Oh, Sherry,
it would be quicker.

You know, a Montalado, Oloroso, Fino.
Oh, lovely.

You must be up to your eyes in it.

No, it's the first one today.

Oh, thank you.

You've actually got a Member of
Parliament coming here for dinner.

You must be so excited.

Oh, we don't like to make a fuss.

No, and we told the whole street, so
they wouldn't make a fuss either.

Well, I mean, I suppose when you get to
know them well. I mean, they're just

like us.

Huh?

Well... Some of them are like some of
us, and others of them are like others

us. Oh, how very true.

Do they live round here?

No, they live in Surrey.

Not all of it, but most of it.

Oh, well, I mean, I know that if they
were coming to my place, I would be in

such a tizzy.

No, no, no, we just take it for granted
that we stay here.

You take the rice buckets, I'll fill the
cokes, right?

Well, if you do, then they're early.

Oh, yes, come inside, please, quickly.

George!

Oh, dear God.

I couldn't find the towels, Mildred. I
looked everywhere.

Oh, go on, I'll help you find them.

I am so sorry about his legs.

That reminds me, I must wash the celery.

Have you got your underpants on, George?
No, I haven't.

and stalked the entire neighbourhood.

Come on.

Oh, look, it's starting to rain.

Please, I've done them for you.

You did not. Yes, I did. I left them on
the hall stand for you.

darling.

Don't you think you should put something
frilly across the top of... No?

Well, no bouncing.

Keep them as still as possible.

Is it all right if I breathe
occasionally?

You must be the judge of that. Just
remember, they are an important couple.

Well, thank you, darling.

Not them.

Them. Oh.

Good evening.

You may be locked out.

Ah.

Seems to be the only one that isn't
locked.

You should be able to get in there,
Mildred.

Don't you think it's a man's job?

Oh, yeah, you could be right.

Off you go, then.

Get out of here, dear.

Burglars.

Burglars.

Ah.

Ah, there you are.

It's all right. Your daddy's already in
the bath.

Oh, laugh.

Oh, God.

Mildred!

Mildred!

Oh, did they get in all right? One of
them did. The other one's still here.

Sherry, which was yours?

Oh, yes, the merely empty one.

Geoffrey, at least fill it up.

Oh, no. That's all right, love, I
shouldn't really.

Oh, but I will.

Well, where's your little boy, then?

He's having an early night.

Yes, Geoffrey thought it best with his A
-levels coming up in 12 years.

I'm afraid that Anne would bring him up
according to Spock.

Oh, that's the doctor, not the one with
the pointed tongue.

I think I'd better go and dry my hair.

Oh, what now? I suppose he can't find
his flower.

Yes, what is it? Hello, Geoffrey. Oh,
Margaret, Charles.

That sounds like your guest, love. I'd
better go. Finish your drink. Oh, right.

Hello.

Anne. Anne, you know, Margaret. And
Charles.

Hello, Charles. How are you?

And this is Mrs... Mildred. From next
door.

How do you do?

Oh.

How do you do?

I've never shaken hands with a Member of
Parliament before. Well, you still

haven't, actually.

My wife is the MP.

Oh.

I really must ask you now, the Prime
Minister... Is he the same in real life

he is on television?

I'm afraid so.

Oh, how interesting.

And tell me, I mean, apart from being an
MP, what do you do?

I'm a parliamentary private secretary.

Oh. Oh, I always wish I'd learnt a type.

Margaret, Margaret, you mustn't
monopolise Mrs Roper.

Come on down, let me show you my robe.

Oh, good grief.

He wants to come in.

No,

no, no, no, shouldn't think so, no.

You can't leave him out there.

Poor fellow could have had his brain
piped.

Can't think I'll put me knee out.

Yes, well, come and tell me about it,
sir, outside.

Slightly. You mean you're still locked
out? Yeah. You see, I couldn't get out

the room.

I'll phone for a locksmith.

Now, stay there.

Tristan, we should be in bed.

Nickness wanted a drink.

I'm sick and tired of that damn dog.

He's over there. Well, that damn dog...
Son,

what dog is this?

My dog, Nickness.

He's invisible.

Oh, yeah.

And he bites.

I don't like to have to be the one to
tell you, but there isn't any dog there.

I know.

I made him up.

Oh, I see.

He's a nice little fellow, isn't he?

He's a sort of... I think I'll wait in
there.

Could I speak to Mr Groves, please?

I don't care if you are a recording
machine. Let me speak to Mr Groves.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, it shook me up a bit, you
know.

The drainpipe coming away like that.

Here, I've got a bruise on me the size
of... No, George!

My husband was on his way to the bath.

Of the drainpipe?

Oh, it's a long story.

It must be.

Thank you. Oh, yeah, thank you. What
exactly is it, this green

stuff? Avocado.

Oh, yeah?

Same colour as our lavatory.

a locksmith. He won't be here for an
hour. Oh, that's all right. No hurry.

Nice drop of brandy, that.

Tories, yeah, that's the party for rich
twits, isn't it?

Now, I've got nothing against you
personally, Maggie.

I'm in labour.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I have been for years, you see.
Now, you see, now, where you Tories go

wrong... Yeah, George, it's closing
time.

What, the pubs? No, your mouth.

Where you Tories go wrong is not having
a firm policy on the price of budgie

seed.

You mean we lost the budgie vote?

Oh, yes, definitely.

And it's your leadership, isn't it,
Charlie?

I mean, you're Mrs Thatcher, you see.
Now, if she was to wear organics and

a pipe, well, she'd... Yes, but with
whom?

Let's put it this way. I mean, what's
she got that Mike Yarwood can get hold

Geoffrey, if I don't serve dinner five
minutes ago, it'll be ruined.

Not while he's here. We'll have to give
him some.

It's evaporating.

It'll be all cock and no van.

it, you see. I mean, you Tories, I mean,
no, no, no offence, but you see, when

you get down to it, you're just a lot of
chinless wonders, aren't you?

Not for George, thank you. No, he only
drinks to be sociable.

You take your, what's -name, Macmillan
wife, who's never had it so good.

That'll be for you, I hope.

I mean, what did he ever do, eh? Apart
from letting the wind of change blow up

his corridor of power.

Goodnight. Oh, it's been ever so...
Well, I think you know what it's been.

Ah, this is the locksmith. Oh, hello.

Oh, it's ever so nice of you. I'm sorry
to have dragged you out to... George?

What are you doing? I'm strapping this
invisible dog milk in.

George, you're drunk.

Look, Mike.

Just run.

He didn't really strike him because he's
over there.

He's got this invisible dog called Niff
-Niff.

I'll give you Niff -Niff when I get you
inside.

Oh, that's the man.

Here we are, madam.

I'll send you my bill.

Oh, thank you very much.

Right, come and have your bath, George.

It'll be run cold by now.