All language subtitles for 2010 The Other Guys - Unrated Cut

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,149 --> 00:00:41,529 In New York City, there's a fine line between law and chaos. 2 00:00:41,614 --> 00:00:44,444 On that line live Danson and Highsmith. 3 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:50,119 Tell me again why I decided to get on this roof! 4 00:00:51,124 --> 00:00:54,499 I think you can chalk that up to bad life choices. 5 00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:11,809 Get rid of that asshole. 6 00:01:11,934 --> 00:01:13,854 - Uh-oh! - I hate it when you say "uh-oh!" 7 00:01:24,444 --> 00:01:26,324 Dude, you put a ding in my hood! 8 00:01:30,368 --> 00:01:31,493 Come on with it, then! 9 00:01:37,041 --> 00:01:38,834 Whoa, hey! 10 00:01:45,717 --> 00:01:47,050 That's trouble. 11 00:02:01,733 --> 00:02:05,194 Did someone call Nine-One-holy-shit? 12 00:02:15,538 --> 00:02:17,498 That's it. I'm sick of all this running. 13 00:02:25,381 --> 00:02:26,507 Hang on! 14 00:02:36,935 --> 00:02:42,898 You have the right to remain silent! 15 00:02:43,399 --> 00:02:46,026 But I wanna hear you scream! 16 00:03:01,459 --> 00:03:02,584 Down on the ground! 17 00:03:02,918 --> 00:03:05,086 Detective! Yeah, yeah! Detective! 18 00:03:05,754 --> 00:03:07,797 One at a time, all right? 19 00:03:08,131 --> 00:03:12,176 Yeah, Detectives, Rick Grayson, New York Observer Online. 20 00:03:12,302 --> 00:03:15,221 These suspects were caught with only a quarter pound of marijuana, 21 00:03:15,305 --> 00:03:16,722 a misdemeanor in some states. 22 00:03:16,807 --> 00:03:20,101 Do you think this arrest was worth $12 million in property damages? 23 00:03:20,269 --> 00:03:23,479 Why don't we let New York City answer that question? 24 00:03:23,605 --> 00:03:26,107 The greatest city on Earth, yeah! 25 00:03:29,278 --> 00:03:32,613 Hi, Sarah Gapone from TMZ print edition. 26 00:03:32,698 --> 00:03:36,284 Danson, are the rumors about you and Kim Kardashian true? 27 00:03:36,368 --> 00:03:37,952 No comment. 28 00:03:38,453 --> 00:03:39,787 But, yes. 29 00:03:41,331 --> 00:03:44,834 Danson and Highsmith, free hot dogs for life! 30 00:03:48,297 --> 00:03:52,466 No drinks. No drinks. I can't do it. I can't do it. 31 00:03:52,801 --> 00:03:58,264 Danson and Highsmith shoot, drive, and sex with style. They're rock stars. 32 00:03:58,348 --> 00:04:01,350 Then you got your jokers, your ball busters, your vets... 33 00:04:02,603 --> 00:04:03,644 ... and the other guys. 34 00:04:07,316 --> 00:04:10,318 We know, we know. We know. 35 00:04:10,402 --> 00:04:12,570 All right, all right, all right. Listen up, listen up! 36 00:04:12,654 --> 00:04:16,198 We're having a celebration tonight at Butter. 37 00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:18,868 Brody Jenner's gonna be there. Bai Ling. 38 00:04:18,994 --> 00:04:21,746 - That little short bitch from Jersey Shore. - Yeah! 39 00:04:21,830 --> 00:04:24,916 And most of you are on the list. 40 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,918 You're the best. 41 00:04:27,002 --> 00:04:28,961 Guys, I'm gonna say something right now. 42 00:04:29,046 --> 00:04:31,422 It's about a man who came from Austria with a dream. 43 00:04:31,506 --> 00:04:34,342 - Arnold Schwarzenegger! - Let me finish. 44 00:04:34,426 --> 00:04:36,802 He became a champion and then a movie star, all right? 45 00:04:36,887 --> 00:04:39,055 - Arnold Schwarzenegger! - God damn it, let me... 46 00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:41,056 They ruined the story. They ruined the story. 47 00:04:41,182 --> 00:04:42,766 Let... What... The point is, 48 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:45,936 we couldn't do our job if it weren't for you guys doing all the paperwork, 49 00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,313 answering the phones, and all that stupid shit that we don't like to do. 50 00:04:48,397 --> 00:04:50,398 All the gun fights, all the car chases, 51 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:54,361 all the sex we don't wanna have with women, but we have to, 52 00:04:54,445 --> 00:04:58,114 all due to what you guys do. Thank you. 53 00:04:58,199 --> 00:04:59,449 And we'd do it again and again. 54 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,826 Hey, you shut your face! 55 00:05:01,911 --> 00:05:03,119 If we wanna hear you talk, 56 00:05:03,204 --> 00:05:06,081 I will shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet! 57 00:05:06,290 --> 00:05:07,874 You hear me? You hear me? 58 00:05:08,417 --> 00:05:10,335 - Cash bar. - Yeah. 59 00:05:10,419 --> 00:05:12,253 Peace out, bitches. 60 00:05:13,631 --> 00:05:16,591 Hey, fellas. All right, bring it in. 61 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,218 Come on. Bring it in a little bit. 62 00:05:18,427 --> 00:05:20,428 All right, right there. 63 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,472 Just back up, just like right there. 64 00:05:23,099 --> 00:05:25,183 All right, just one... Just a... 65 00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:27,060 There you go, right there. Right there. 66 00:05:27,603 --> 00:05:29,688 This is their paperwork. You know they're not gonna do it. 67 00:05:29,772 --> 00:05:32,983 That's right. This paperwork is like Bob's wife here. 68 00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:36,736 It's thick, ugly, got Danson's fingerprints all over it. 69 00:05:36,821 --> 00:05:38,238 - No offense, Bob. - That's all right. 70 00:05:38,322 --> 00:05:40,448 - Anyway, now who wants it? - I do! 71 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:43,243 All right! Paper Bitch and Yankee Clipper on the case! 72 00:05:43,953 --> 00:05:45,370 - Nice work. Thanks, Allen. - Thank you, Captain. 73 00:05:45,454 --> 00:05:46,746 "I'll do it! I'll do it!" 74 00:05:56,799 --> 00:05:58,925 Stop humming that song! 75 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,762 - I can hum if I want to. - No, I know you can. 76 00:06:02,847 --> 00:06:04,097 I'm asking you to stop. 77 00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:06,433 - Well, if you're asking, then I'll stop. - Thank you. 78 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,523 Could you not smile like that? 79 00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:17,444 Now you're asking me to mask my emotions because of how it makes you feel. 80 00:06:17,527 --> 00:06:19,319 That I will not do. 81 00:06:23,158 --> 00:06:25,993 Seriously, stop humming! Okay? 82 00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,120 This isn't accounting or wherever the hell 83 00:06:28,204 --> 00:06:31,540 you and your little pocket calculator were transferred from. 84 00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:34,585 Forensic accounting, okay. And it's an important part of the job. 85 00:06:34,669 --> 00:06:38,756 Yeah, whatever. Stop being so overtly happy about doing shit work, you moron. 86 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,716 Hey, guys. Reminder. 87 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,011 The police union picnic's coming up this weekend. 88 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:48,724 My wife's making her famous deviled eggs, again. My waistline's furious. 89 00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:50,184 It's a bad time, Bob! 90 00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:53,312 All right. 91 00:06:53,855 --> 00:06:54,980 Going to get a slice. 92 00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:08,410 You know what I just did? 93 00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,788 I just walked out that door, saw a couple detectives, 94 00:07:10,872 --> 00:07:13,373 and I was about to start bad mouthing you behind your back, 95 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,667 but I stopped myself, because my pops taught me 96 00:07:15,752 --> 00:07:18,378 that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward. 97 00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:19,671 Wow, I actually appreciate that. 98 00:07:19,756 --> 00:07:21,548 Good, 'cause I'm gonna tell you directly to your face. 99 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:24,384 - No. You don't have to. - No, I don't like you. 100 00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:25,886 I think you're a fake cop. 101 00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:29,723 The sound of your piss hitting the urinal? It sounds feminine. 102 00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:32,559 If we were in the wild, I would attack you. 103 00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:37,356 Even if you weren't in my food chain, I would go out of my way to attack you. 104 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,024 If I were a lion, and you were a tuna, 105 00:07:39,109 --> 00:07:41,735 I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you! 106 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:45,197 And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend. 107 00:07:45,281 --> 00:07:49,618 Okay, first off, a lion swimming in the ocean? 108 00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:50,911 Lions don't like water. 109 00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:55,039 If you'd placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that'd make sense. 110 00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:57,667 But you find yourself in the ocean, 20-foot waves, 111 00:07:57,751 --> 00:07:59,544 I'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa, 112 00:07:59,878 --> 00:08:05,133 coming up against a full-grown, 800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends? 113 00:08:05,217 --> 00:08:06,384 You lose that battle. 114 00:08:06,468 --> 00:08:09,387 You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what? 115 00:08:09,471 --> 00:08:13,766 You've wandered into our school of tuna, and we now have a taste of lion. 116 00:08:13,892 --> 00:08:16,269 We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated. 117 00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:17,520 - Yeah? - And said, "You know what? 118 00:08:17,604 --> 00:08:20,773 "Lion tastes good. Let's go get some more lion." 119 00:08:20,899 --> 00:08:23,442 We've developed a system to establish a beachhead 120 00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:26,445 and aggressively hunt you and your family. 121 00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:28,698 And we will corner your pride, 122 00:08:28,782 --> 00:08:30,658 - your children, your offspring. - How you gonna do that? 123 00:08:30,742 --> 00:08:34,328 We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. 124 00:08:34,413 --> 00:08:36,914 We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. 125 00:08:36,999 --> 00:08:41,460 It's not gonna be days at a time, but an hour, hour 45, no problem. 126 00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:44,213 That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, 127 00:08:44,298 --> 00:08:47,383 go back to the sea, get more oxygen, and then stalk you. 128 00:08:47,467 --> 00:08:50,970 You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and outmanned. 129 00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:57,018 Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? 130 00:08:57,102 --> 00:08:58,269 Nope. 131 00:09:05,819 --> 00:09:07,403 Two minutes before the markets open, 132 00:09:07,487 --> 00:09:10,865 Pamela Boardman, CEO of Lendl Global, ringing the opening bell. 133 00:09:10,949 --> 00:09:13,409 With Boardman is investment banker, David Ershon, 134 00:09:13,493 --> 00:09:16,954 who manages 40% of Lendl's $70-billion equity pool. 135 00:09:17,039 --> 00:09:19,874 How much did we lose? 136 00:09:19,958 --> 00:09:22,251 You may ring the bell now, Ms. Boardman. 137 00:09:22,336 --> 00:09:24,420 - $32. - Million? 138 00:09:24,504 --> 00:09:26,714 No, billion. 139 00:09:28,841 --> 00:09:30,175 Shit! 140 00:09:31,052 --> 00:09:35,513 Chinatown. Three Triad gang members. I popped two of them off the draw. 141 00:09:35,598 --> 00:09:37,307 - Bang, bang. - Yeah. 142 00:09:37,391 --> 00:09:39,017 Then I raise up to take the leader out. 143 00:09:39,101 --> 00:09:40,602 Shit, I feel like I'm there now. 144 00:09:40,686 --> 00:09:43,188 I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof. 145 00:09:43,397 --> 00:09:45,273 He says, "Let's even the odds!" 146 00:09:45,566 --> 00:09:49,778 He tosses me down a Mossberg pump. I send one through his chest. 147 00:09:50,821 --> 00:09:52,364 Game over, bitches. 148 00:09:54,450 --> 00:09:56,159 - All right. - Yeah. 149 00:09:57,119 --> 00:10:02,082 Jimmy? Let's talk about how that story made you feel. 150 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,792 Like my cock was made out of concrete. 151 00:10:05,127 --> 00:10:07,003 I know it's very tempting. 152 00:10:07,505 --> 00:10:09,172 You want to impress your friends. 153 00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:11,841 But this is serious stuff we're dealing with, okay? 154 00:10:11,968 --> 00:10:15,345 This is firing your weapon in the line of duty. 155 00:10:15,471 --> 00:10:16,513 Officer Hoitz? 156 00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:18,473 Oh, man. 157 00:10:18,557 --> 00:10:19,724 - Come on! - Here we go. 158 00:10:19,809 --> 00:10:21,184 Would you like to share? 159 00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:22,435 No, I'd rather not. 160 00:10:22,770 --> 00:10:25,188 Officer Hoitz, you've been coming here for six months now, 161 00:10:25,273 --> 00:10:27,023 and you haven't said a word. 162 00:10:27,108 --> 00:10:29,442 This is a safe room, no judgment here. 163 00:10:29,527 --> 00:10:30,610 Jerkoff. 164 00:10:30,695 --> 00:10:33,029 That's judgment, Jimmy. Come on. 165 00:10:33,489 --> 00:10:34,614 I relive it every night. 166 00:10:35,992 --> 00:10:37,909 Bronx, October. 167 00:10:37,994 --> 00:10:39,786 Game 7 of the World Series. 168 00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:43,123 For all the marbles. High pressure, unruly crowd, and I pulled tunnel duty. 169 00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:46,042 I mean, I saw a shadowy figure in the tunnel. I told him to stop. 170 00:10:46,127 --> 00:10:48,044 Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a restricted area! 171 00:10:48,129 --> 00:10:49,462 Finally pulled my gun. 172 00:10:49,547 --> 00:10:50,839 Pulled a deadly weapon. He started running at me. 173 00:10:50,923 --> 00:10:52,799 Don't make me shoot! I'll do it! 174 00:10:54,051 --> 00:10:55,927 Are you deaf? You hear me yell, "Freeze"? 175 00:10:56,012 --> 00:10:59,139 You dick! I'm Derek Jeter! You shot me! 176 00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:01,975 - You cost me 20 grand on that game! - Douche bag. 177 00:11:02,059 --> 00:11:03,518 Cost the city a championship. 178 00:11:03,602 --> 00:11:05,937 I was being groomed for a top position in homicide. 179 00:11:06,146 --> 00:11:08,897 Now I'm stuck with a desk jockey partner. Everybody calls me the Yankee Clipper. 180 00:11:08,982 --> 00:11:10,649 Because you shot Derek Jeter! 181 00:11:10,734 --> 00:11:12,026 He's a biracial angel. 182 00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:13,777 You should've shot A-Rod. 183 00:11:21,369 --> 00:11:22,745 Yo, Paper Bitch. 184 00:11:23,121 --> 00:11:24,788 - What's up, man? - Hey. Hey, guys. 185 00:11:24,873 --> 00:11:26,582 - Paper Bitch. - Paper Bitch. 186 00:11:26,666 --> 00:11:27,750 I don't like that, actually. 187 00:11:27,834 --> 00:11:29,626 I know you guys think it's fun, but I don't like that name. 188 00:11:29,711 --> 00:11:31,295 Still working on the Danson and Highsmith paperwork? 189 00:11:31,379 --> 00:11:33,464 - Shit. - No, actually, actually, that's... 190 00:11:33,548 --> 00:11:34,923 What is this? That looks stupid. 191 00:11:35,008 --> 00:11:38,635 Guys, it's illegal permitting for construction. Specifically, scaffolding. 192 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,262 Some of the guys were talking. 193 00:11:40,555 --> 00:11:43,140 They were like, "How come you've never fired your weapon in the office before?" 194 00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:44,308 Good point. 195 00:11:44,684 --> 00:11:46,018 I'm sorry, I don't follow. 196 00:11:46,102 --> 00:11:47,561 You've never fired your weapon in the office. 197 00:11:47,645 --> 00:11:49,772 We all have, you know. It's called a desk pop. 198 00:11:49,856 --> 00:11:52,566 Fellas, look, I know you don't respect me as a police officer. 199 00:11:52,650 --> 00:11:53,776 - Not true. - I'm not stupid. 200 00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:56,320 I'm not gonna discharge my firearm in the office. 201 00:11:56,404 --> 00:11:57,988 Gamble, listen to me. I'll try to make it real clear. 202 00:11:58,073 --> 00:12:02,242 We honor the flag, and you crap on it when you don't shoot your gun in the office. 203 00:12:02,327 --> 00:12:04,411 Jimmy. When's the last time you had a desk pop? 204 00:12:04,496 --> 00:12:06,413 September '08. 205 00:12:06,831 --> 00:12:08,582 - Be a man. Do it. - Now. 206 00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:10,334 - Please, please, do it. - Pop one off! 207 00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:12,503 - There you go. Pop it off! - Don't think, just go! 208 00:12:12,587 --> 00:12:14,129 - Here we go. - Do it, yes. 209 00:12:15,715 --> 00:12:16,799 He did it! 210 00:12:16,925 --> 00:12:18,759 Hey! Shots fired! 211 00:12:18,843 --> 00:12:21,970 Hey, Terry, I did it! I did my first desk pop! 212 00:12:22,472 --> 00:12:24,056 It's a real thing, right? 213 00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:25,641 - A desk pop? - Yeah. 214 00:12:25,725 --> 00:12:26,850 No, that's not real! 215 00:12:26,935 --> 00:12:30,896 They were so convincing in their argument, they swung me. 216 00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:35,734 All right, Allen, you're gonna have to hand over your gun. 217 00:12:35,819 --> 00:12:36,944 Yes, sir. 218 00:12:37,028 --> 00:12:41,031 Captain, you really wanna disarm this guy, take out the batteries in the calculator. 219 00:12:41,115 --> 00:12:44,492 All right, I'm gonna give you this. This is a dummy gun. I use it for ceremony. 220 00:12:44,576 --> 00:12:45,743 There. 221 00:12:47,079 --> 00:12:50,665 You get this back when I feel you know how to handle it. 222 00:12:51,291 --> 00:12:54,961 Listen, guys. I'm working two jobs. I'm working here. 223 00:12:55,045 --> 00:12:58,214 And I got another job at Bed Bath and Beyond. Okay? 224 00:12:58,298 --> 00:13:00,925 I'm doing that just to put a kid through NYU 225 00:13:01,009 --> 00:13:04,762 so he can explore his bisexuality and become a deejay. 226 00:13:04,847 --> 00:13:08,307 Now the last thing I need is a ballistics report in the unit. 227 00:13:08,392 --> 00:13:10,768 I'm just gonna ask you guys, please, come on, really. 228 00:13:10,853 --> 00:13:12,603 Just think about... Just be smart. 229 00:13:42,134 --> 00:13:43,593 211 in progress. 230 00:13:43,677 --> 00:13:46,762 They're using a wrecking ball to clean out Castien Jewelry. 231 00:13:46,847 --> 00:13:48,264 All right, we got it. 232 00:13:48,348 --> 00:13:50,683 - Good luck, guys. Have a good one. - Allen, let's go. 233 00:13:50,767 --> 00:13:53,644 - No, I got work to do. - What? This is work! 234 00:13:53,729 --> 00:13:57,315 Hey, yo! Danson and Highsmith. We roll in heavy. 235 00:13:57,399 --> 00:13:58,733 You cream puffs, sit tight. 236 00:13:58,817 --> 00:14:00,151 You gotta be shitting me! 237 00:14:00,652 --> 00:14:03,321 You can't keep me cooped up in here, okay? 238 00:14:03,405 --> 00:14:06,490 I am a peacock! You gotta let me fly! 239 00:14:12,664 --> 00:14:14,874 Did he just... Did he just call himself a peacock? 240 00:14:18,419 --> 00:14:19,628 Let's go! Let's go! 241 00:14:22,673 --> 00:14:23,757 Come on, fellas! 242 00:14:23,966 --> 00:14:26,384 Wednesday night is taco night at Rikers Island! 243 00:14:40,233 --> 00:14:41,858 That's the second one this week! 244 00:14:43,194 --> 00:14:45,237 Hey, you monkeys! Stop! 245 00:14:45,905 --> 00:14:47,030 Let's go! 246 00:14:47,865 --> 00:14:48,949 Yeah! 247 00:14:49,492 --> 00:14:50,700 Heads up! 248 00:14:51,035 --> 00:14:52,160 Shit. 249 00:15:06,259 --> 00:15:07,342 Special Forces zipline. 250 00:15:07,969 --> 00:15:09,719 Cut that line! Cut it! Let's go! 251 00:15:10,972 --> 00:15:13,223 - These guys are pros. - Let's go! 252 00:15:13,307 --> 00:15:14,683 You thinking what I'm thinking, partner? 253 00:15:15,309 --> 00:15:16,393 Aim for the bushes. 254 00:15:44,005 --> 00:15:47,674 Cops still argue to this day why Danson and Highsmith jumped. 255 00:15:47,758 --> 00:15:51,720 Maybe it was just pride, having survived so many brushes with death. 256 00:15:51,804 --> 00:15:53,972 Maybe their egos pushed them off. 257 00:15:54,055 --> 00:15:56,765 I don't know. But that shit was crazy. 258 00:15:56,850 --> 00:16:01,562 Either way, there was a hole in New York City, and it needed to be filled. 259 00:16:01,646 --> 00:16:03,939 Two days ago, this city wept. 260 00:16:04,024 --> 00:16:07,985 We lost two heroes who gave everything for us, 261 00:16:08,069 --> 00:16:12,990 who paid that ultimate sacrifice so that we may walk these streets safely. 262 00:16:13,908 --> 00:16:15,492 There wasn't even an awning in their direction. 263 00:16:15,577 --> 00:16:17,745 - No, I know. - They just jumped 20 stories. 264 00:16:17,829 --> 00:16:19,163 Doesn't make sense, does it? 265 00:16:19,247 --> 00:16:23,125 I only hope God lets them take their.357s with them to heaven. 266 00:16:23,209 --> 00:16:26,545 It's our moment, Allen. Our moment to step up and be the guys. 267 00:16:27,047 --> 00:16:29,715 - We're at a funeral. Show some respect. - What? 268 00:16:30,008 --> 00:16:33,052 You don't think every other detective here isn't thinking the same thing? 269 00:16:35,847 --> 00:16:37,931 Allen, listen to me. Danson and Highsmith are gone. 270 00:16:38,016 --> 00:16:41,018 Their desks are empty. Someone has to fill those seats. 271 00:16:41,102 --> 00:16:44,646 That someone is us, okay? The city's dying for a hero. 272 00:16:44,981 --> 00:16:46,482 - Is it? - Yeah. 273 00:16:46,566 --> 00:16:50,194 What about nine million socially-conscious and unified citizens, 274 00:16:50,278 --> 00:16:52,029 all just stepping up and doing their part? 275 00:16:52,113 --> 00:16:54,365 As a little kid, didn't you dress up and play cops and robbers? 276 00:16:54,449 --> 00:16:56,617 I'll tell you what I did as a little kid. 277 00:16:56,701 --> 00:16:59,036 I went to school and made my bed. 278 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,747 And at age 11, I audited my parents. 279 00:17:01,831 --> 00:17:05,125 And believe me, there were some discrepancies, and I was grounded. 280 00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:07,086 What the hell are you? 281 00:17:07,170 --> 00:17:10,130 Well, well, well. What do we got here? 282 00:17:10,215 --> 00:17:14,301 Look at these two jamokes, would you? One shot Jeter and the other shot an office. 283 00:17:17,597 --> 00:17:20,307 Have some decorum. We're at a funeral. 284 00:17:20,392 --> 00:17:22,601 You wanna dance, brolio? 285 00:17:22,685 --> 00:17:26,939 I will rock your body with big, nasty hooks. You'll be pissing blood out of your ass. 286 00:17:27,023 --> 00:17:28,107 That's horrible. 287 00:17:28,191 --> 00:17:29,358 Why don't you step back, man? 288 00:17:29,441 --> 00:17:30,900 You touch him, I swear to God 289 00:17:30,984 --> 00:17:32,819 I'm gonna beat the shit out of you with Allen's head. 290 00:17:32,903 --> 00:17:35,446 He's not gonna do that. That's hyperbole. But that's a weird example. 291 00:17:35,531 --> 00:17:37,323 - You wanna go? - I wanna go! 292 00:17:38,742 --> 00:17:40,118 - Get him off. - Kick his ass, Martin. 293 00:17:40,744 --> 00:17:41,953 Yeah. How do you like that? 294 00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,872 - Pull his hair! - I love it. 295 00:17:45,082 --> 00:17:46,749 This hurts so good. 296 00:17:47,668 --> 00:17:49,836 - Very sorry for your loss, ma'am. - What a lovely hat. 297 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,754 I love your shoes. 298 00:17:51,839 --> 00:17:53,589 - It's fine, it's fine. - Go, go. 299 00:17:54,216 --> 00:17:55,341 Punish him! 300 00:17:55,926 --> 00:17:57,468 Oh, man. 301 00:17:58,137 --> 00:18:00,096 Do it. That's how we do it in the hood. 302 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,222 - Punish him. - That's not even a move. 303 00:18:02,641 --> 00:18:04,892 I'm the winner. I'm the winner, everybody saw it. 304 00:18:04,977 --> 00:18:07,228 What the hell is going on here? 305 00:18:07,312 --> 00:18:09,105 Two good men are dead, 306 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:12,275 and you guys are fighting over who's gonna be the next hotshot? 307 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,484 Is that what's happening? 308 00:18:13,610 --> 00:18:15,153 Yes, that's exactly what's happening. 309 00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:17,864 Let me tell you something. 310 00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:19,866 - Sorry for your loss, Lorraine. - Very sorry. 311 00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:22,285 - Sorry, Lorraine. - Sorry, Lorraine. 312 00:18:22,828 --> 00:18:24,120 Hi, I'm Jimmy. 313 00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:26,998 - Too soon? - Why'd you say that? 314 00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,167 I'll tell you something about those guys. 315 00:18:30,169 --> 00:18:33,838 They knew that to become a good cop, you had to solve cases. Okay? 316 00:18:34,631 --> 00:18:37,884 Okay, and maybe you start with the Castien robbery. 317 00:18:38,343 --> 00:18:40,553 Okay? So just watch it. 318 00:18:41,805 --> 00:18:43,723 Next time, me, you, library. 319 00:18:43,849 --> 00:18:45,975 - Not even close. - Come on, guys. Guys, come on. 320 00:18:46,685 --> 00:18:48,644 - You are... - I'm the winner! 321 00:18:48,937 --> 00:18:51,981 I didn't need you to stick up for me, okay? I could've handled that myself. 322 00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:55,776 Hey, don't flatter yourself. It's the partner's code. I had no choice. 323 00:18:55,861 --> 00:18:57,111 Move. 324 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:09,289 - 9:15, let's have a great day, everybody! - Cut the shit! 325 00:19:16,297 --> 00:19:17,506 Good morning. 326 00:19:18,382 --> 00:19:21,676 We've got shots fired. 509 East 10th Street. 327 00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,678 There are large amounts of cocaine on the scene. 328 00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:24,888 Try to stay out of trouble, boys. 329 00:19:24,972 --> 00:19:26,640 There's no chance you'd wanna go on that call, right? 330 00:19:26,724 --> 00:19:28,558 No chance. Too busy. 331 00:19:28,809 --> 00:19:33,188 All right, ladies. Starting to get the picture? We're about to lock shit down. 332 00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:35,273 - That's right. - You girls stay here and get your type on. 333 00:19:35,358 --> 00:19:37,275 Go get them, guys. Lot of energy, lot of focus. 334 00:19:37,401 --> 00:19:38,485 Shut up! 335 00:19:38,569 --> 00:19:40,820 Allen, could I see you in the hallway for a second? 336 00:19:40,905 --> 00:19:42,364 I... I'm super busy right now, Terry. 337 00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:44,324 No, no, no, I know. This'll be real quick. 338 00:19:44,408 --> 00:19:46,284 It's about the construction permits you were talking about. 339 00:19:46,369 --> 00:19:48,370 - The scaffolding violations? - This is our thing, yeah. 340 00:19:49,997 --> 00:19:51,581 So, what do you got? 341 00:19:51,666 --> 00:19:54,167 I got this! I'll put one right in your neck. 342 00:19:54,252 --> 00:19:55,335 What are you doing? 343 00:19:55,419 --> 00:19:58,129 Let's go. We're going to that call. 344 00:19:58,214 --> 00:19:59,798 - What is this? - Shut up. 345 00:19:59,882 --> 00:20:02,217 We're going to the car, and we're going after this case. 346 00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:03,718 - You're not gonna shoot me. - I won't? 347 00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,262 - No. - I shot Jeter. 348 00:20:05,346 --> 00:20:07,514 - That was an accident. - Was it? 349 00:20:07,598 --> 00:20:09,140 - Now move. - Okay. 350 00:20:09,850 --> 00:20:11,184 Hey. 351 00:20:11,269 --> 00:20:14,479 Does anybody see this? He's got a gun on me. 352 00:20:14,564 --> 00:20:16,356 I'm being kidnapped. 353 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,526 Really, we're in a police station and no one is interested in this? 354 00:20:19,735 --> 00:20:22,153 - So, then what happened? - What do you think happened? 355 00:20:22,238 --> 00:20:25,615 I woke up, I took the belt off my neck, and I got in my car, and I got out of there. 356 00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:27,242 Talk about a wild weekend, right? 357 00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:30,620 I thought I was gonna have to shoot my way out. 358 00:20:30,705 --> 00:20:32,872 What are you gonna do, though, you know? Bar mitzvahs. 359 00:20:35,251 --> 00:20:37,127 What the hell is this? 360 00:20:37,211 --> 00:20:39,921 It's my car. It's a Prius. 361 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:43,675 I feel like we're literally driving around in a vagina. 362 00:20:43,758 --> 00:20:46,594 Detective Hoitz and Gamble are on that 518 on East 10th. 363 00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:48,762 Negatory, Martin and Fosse, two minutes out. 364 00:20:48,847 --> 00:20:50,556 We'll just see who's there first. 365 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,350 You stay out of our crime scene! You hear me? 366 00:20:53,518 --> 00:20:55,060 Go, go, go! 367 00:20:55,478 --> 00:20:58,188 You feel that, Allen? That tingling in your balls? 368 00:20:58,273 --> 00:21:00,149 Big metal butterflies fluttering around in your stomach? 369 00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:01,859 Are you sure you don't have testicular cancer? 370 00:21:01,943 --> 00:21:03,986 I got something to get you going. 371 00:21:06,823 --> 00:21:08,991 Let's go do some damage! 372 00:21:10,410 --> 00:21:11,660 Nope. 373 00:21:13,997 --> 00:21:15,164 What the hell is that? 374 00:21:15,498 --> 00:21:17,625 LRB. Little River Band. 375 00:21:17,959 --> 00:21:20,294 This music makes me feel like I'm going shopping for a training bra. 376 00:21:20,629 --> 00:21:23,088 You know what? We go with no music, okay? 377 00:21:23,173 --> 00:21:24,298 - Fine. - Say bye. 378 00:21:24,382 --> 00:21:25,507 No, no, no, don't say bye... 379 00:21:25,592 --> 00:21:27,301 You just signed your own death warrant, Hoitz! 380 00:21:27,385 --> 00:21:30,596 Allen, punch that accelerator or I will shoot you in the foot! 381 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,097 America! 382 00:21:32,432 --> 00:21:34,725 Allen! Allen, hit the brake! 383 00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:38,479 Seriously, slow the car down! We're approaching the crime scene! 384 00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:39,647 Terry, I'm coming in. 385 00:21:39,731 --> 00:21:41,565 You're gonna smash right through the tape! Allen! 386 00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:43,317 Dude! What... 387 00:21:48,531 --> 00:21:50,658 That's a lot of cocaine. 388 00:21:51,618 --> 00:21:54,620 Did you yell "America" when you hit the accelerator? 389 00:21:54,704 --> 00:21:56,497 Nope. No. No. 390 00:21:57,207 --> 00:21:59,541 I've never actually put my foot all the way down 391 00:22:00,335 --> 00:22:03,545 to the ground with the accelerator like that. 392 00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:07,007 It got me slightly aroused. 393 00:22:09,552 --> 00:22:11,136 Here we go. 394 00:22:13,223 --> 00:22:16,684 Way to put your stamp on the crime scene, guys. 395 00:22:16,768 --> 00:22:19,186 - Prius, huh? - Yep, yep. 396 00:22:19,269 --> 00:22:20,520 Good mileage? 397 00:22:20,604 --> 00:22:21,979 - Outstanding. - Yeah. 398 00:22:22,064 --> 00:22:24,649 Did this come with a dental dam? 399 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,276 - No. - Get it? 400 00:22:28,779 --> 00:22:30,738 My Suburban shit one of these last night. 401 00:22:30,823 --> 00:22:32,448 I didn't know they put tampons on wheels. 402 00:22:34,034 --> 00:22:35,201 We've had our fun, huh? 403 00:22:35,285 --> 00:22:38,246 Looks like Scarface sneezed on your car. 404 00:22:38,997 --> 00:22:40,123 All right, everybody! 405 00:22:40,207 --> 00:22:43,251 I'm gonna need you all to back up now. We're taking over. 406 00:22:43,335 --> 00:22:45,753 "At the crime scene, LOL." 407 00:22:45,838 --> 00:22:47,547 - Good tweet, good tweet. - Yeah, thanks. 408 00:22:47,923 --> 00:22:51,676 America has always been defined by its excess. 409 00:22:52,886 --> 00:22:55,346 The Grand Canyon, professional sports contracts. 410 00:22:55,431 --> 00:22:57,849 Wendy's Baconator, extra bacon. 411 00:22:57,933 --> 00:23:01,811 I myself have 18 Lamborghinis 412 00:23:02,980 --> 00:23:04,856 and a Subaru station wagon. 413 00:23:05,190 --> 00:23:08,109 And it's because of this excess that I have flourished. 414 00:23:08,193 --> 00:23:11,779 I implore you, please, do not stop profiting. 415 00:23:11,864 --> 00:23:15,616 Live for excess. It's the American way. 416 00:23:22,166 --> 00:23:23,458 Hello. 417 00:23:24,168 --> 00:23:27,336 Mr. Ershon? I believe this call's for you. 418 00:23:30,716 --> 00:23:31,883 Sir David. 419 00:23:31,967 --> 00:23:35,553 David. You're not returning my calls, so I'd like you to meet Roger Wesley. 420 00:23:35,679 --> 00:23:37,305 - G'day, mate. - Hey. 421 00:23:37,723 --> 00:23:39,974 Roger and his team are gonna babysit you because I don't trust you, 422 00:23:40,058 --> 00:23:41,392 because I think you're going to take off. 423 00:23:42,144 --> 00:23:44,896 Pamela, this is ridiculous. I'm not going anywhere. 424 00:23:45,022 --> 00:23:47,398 David, listen, the Lendl quarterlies come out on the 26th. 425 00:23:47,524 --> 00:23:50,318 You have until then to give me my money. I'm not reporting any losses, David. 426 00:23:50,402 --> 00:23:52,236 I have zeroed in on a new investor. 427 00:23:52,362 --> 00:23:55,406 Well, then, you get their money, make it disappear, and then pay us back. 428 00:23:55,490 --> 00:23:58,742 Yes, yes, I'll tell him he doesn't need to keep watching me. 429 00:23:58,868 --> 00:24:01,328 - David! - Okay, sweetheart, bye-bye. 430 00:24:01,412 --> 00:24:05,832 Yeah. She overreacted. She's a woman. So, you're good to go. 431 00:24:06,250 --> 00:24:07,375 Heard everything, mate. 432 00:24:07,585 --> 00:24:08,752 Ladies and gentlemen, 433 00:24:08,836 --> 00:24:13,340 guess who gave me the secrets to making my first billion dollars. 434 00:24:15,259 --> 00:24:16,718 That man there. 435 00:24:17,512 --> 00:24:19,513 Go! Go! 436 00:24:19,764 --> 00:24:21,598 - Side! - Step aside, please. 437 00:24:22,433 --> 00:24:24,184 You don't think I'm a real cop, do you? 438 00:24:24,268 --> 00:24:26,520 No, I don't. I've said that directly to your face numerous times. 439 00:24:26,604 --> 00:24:27,687 I was really honest about that. 440 00:24:27,772 --> 00:24:30,273 I'm working on a huge case, all right? 441 00:24:30,399 --> 00:24:32,526 Property owner with seven buildings under construction. 442 00:24:32,610 --> 00:24:35,695 He hasn't applied for a single scaffolding permit. 443 00:24:35,780 --> 00:24:39,783 Now, according to Ask Jeeves, this perp is at the Plaza Hotel speaking right now. 444 00:24:39,867 --> 00:24:43,578 - That's your big case? Scaffolding permits? - Yeah. 445 00:24:44,205 --> 00:24:46,915 Guess what? You're coming with me. 446 00:24:47,625 --> 00:24:49,584 It's a wooden gun. 447 00:24:52,046 --> 00:24:53,922 That hurts, man! 448 00:24:56,133 --> 00:25:00,053 I've always got Little River Band loaded up here. I've got six disks in here. 449 00:25:00,888 --> 00:25:04,057 Claude, meet me outside, at the back of the service entrance. 450 00:25:04,141 --> 00:25:06,560 I'm flying Air Singapore. 451 00:25:06,644 --> 00:25:08,395 - Hey, Douglas. How's the wife? - She died. 452 00:25:08,479 --> 00:25:09,563 Attaboy! 453 00:25:09,647 --> 00:25:11,606 I'll be there in two minutes exactly. 454 00:25:11,774 --> 00:25:15,318 Another thing I hate about you? You always pay in exact change. 455 00:25:15,444 --> 00:25:17,737 You're just mad because I have a nice change purse. 456 00:25:17,822 --> 00:25:18,905 Why do you even care? 457 00:25:18,990 --> 00:25:21,992 How can I help it? You know what? You know what's worse? 458 00:25:22,076 --> 00:25:24,077 The way you fart. Even your farts, they're not manly. 459 00:25:24,161 --> 00:25:25,328 You're being ridiculous. 460 00:25:25,413 --> 00:25:27,998 They sound like a baby blowing out the candles on a birthday cake. 461 00:25:28,082 --> 00:25:29,332 - What? - Like a little... 462 00:25:29,458 --> 00:25:31,334 - You know what bugs me about you? - What? 463 00:25:31,419 --> 00:25:32,752 I'm pretty sure you've never voted. 464 00:25:32,836 --> 00:25:36,171 No, I vote. Sports radio, AM 880. Play of the week. 465 00:25:36,256 --> 00:25:38,591 You're like a child in a leatherjacket. That's what you're like. 466 00:25:38,675 --> 00:25:39,758 Get out of the way, man! 467 00:25:39,843 --> 00:25:41,677 Wait. Are you David Ershon? 468 00:25:42,304 --> 00:25:45,097 Yeah, well, it's Sir David Ershon, but I don't bother with the... 469 00:25:45,181 --> 00:25:48,434 Anyway, little bit of a rush, gentlemen, if you don't mind. Thank you. 470 00:25:48,518 --> 00:25:51,770 - Excuse me, but you're under arrest, okay? - What? 471 00:25:51,855 --> 00:25:56,775 You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do or say can be used... 472 00:25:56,860 --> 00:25:58,944 - What's the next part? - As a floatation device. 473 00:25:59,029 --> 00:26:00,529 As a floatation device. 474 00:26:00,655 --> 00:26:04,199 You know what? That's very funny. I have never Miranda-ed anyone before. 475 00:26:04,284 --> 00:26:06,035 - Really? - Are you guys for real? 476 00:26:06,161 --> 00:26:07,202 Am I being punk'd? 477 00:26:08,538 --> 00:26:09,622 Detective Allen Gamble. 478 00:26:09,706 --> 00:26:12,708 We are in a cocaine-covered car, and we are bringing in a perp. 479 00:26:12,792 --> 00:26:15,544 - One David Ershon. - 175 pounds. 480 00:26:15,670 --> 00:26:17,713 - Thank you. 175 pounds. - Shut up, man, shut up! 481 00:26:17,881 --> 00:26:21,717 Martin and Fosse are probably on Studio B talking to Shepard Smith right now. 482 00:26:21,801 --> 00:26:24,637 We arrest this jerkoff for a scaffolding permit? 483 00:26:24,721 --> 00:26:26,889 Wait, wait, wait, what am I being arrested for? 484 00:26:27,015 --> 00:26:28,891 For scaffolding permit violation... 485 00:26:37,901 --> 00:26:39,735 - I got my insurance card. Somewhere. - Easy, mate. 486 00:26:39,861 --> 00:26:42,237 - What the hell? You ran right into us! - Stand over there. 487 00:26:42,739 --> 00:26:43,864 Wood? 488 00:26:44,407 --> 00:26:45,491 What the... 489 00:26:45,575 --> 00:26:47,409 - Couldn't see the car. It's big enough, mate. - What? 490 00:26:47,494 --> 00:26:49,078 Do not let these men take me. 491 00:26:50,914 --> 00:26:51,997 Hi. 492 00:26:53,083 --> 00:26:54,583 Why's she looking at you like that? 493 00:26:54,709 --> 00:26:56,168 That's my car! 494 00:26:56,252 --> 00:27:00,047 Hey, hey, hey! We didn't exchange insurance information! 495 00:27:00,423 --> 00:27:01,924 Hey! Excuse me! 496 00:27:02,842 --> 00:27:05,260 Why did they take our shoes? 497 00:27:05,345 --> 00:27:08,764 - What the hell just happened? - Where's my iPhone? 498 00:27:09,932 --> 00:27:12,016 I think we've walked 30 blocks, man. 499 00:27:12,101 --> 00:27:17,188 I don't get why we can't just call the office and have a squad car come pick us up. 500 00:27:17,272 --> 00:27:19,774 No. They took our shoes, our guns, and our car. 501 00:27:19,858 --> 00:27:21,442 There's no way that's going out on the radio. 502 00:27:21,860 --> 00:27:24,946 Look, if we're gonna do this together, there's some issues we need to settle, okay? 503 00:27:25,072 --> 00:27:28,616 I mean, you said I had a weak chin. You said the way I pee is feminine. 504 00:27:28,742 --> 00:27:29,951 How do you think that makes me feel? 505 00:27:30,035 --> 00:27:35,123 I mean, that list you have, you put a lot of thought in. It's weird. 506 00:27:35,207 --> 00:27:37,458 I hear you. 507 00:27:37,543 --> 00:27:42,296 Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start. 508 00:27:42,381 --> 00:27:44,966 All right. Fresh start. 509 00:27:46,719 --> 00:27:50,304 Maybe we should call ourselves the Febreze Brothers, 510 00:27:50,389 --> 00:27:51,973 'cause it's feeling so fresh right now. 511 00:27:53,475 --> 00:27:54,600 Right? 512 00:27:54,893 --> 00:27:57,770 Let's do another fresh start, 'cause I just wanted to punch you in the face. 513 00:27:57,980 --> 00:28:00,648 Fine, fresh start. 514 00:28:00,733 --> 00:28:02,483 It's the last one. 515 00:28:02,609 --> 00:28:04,485 I have to be able to express myself and say things, you know. 516 00:28:07,489 --> 00:28:10,241 - Okay, folks! Everybody, listen up! - Listen up! 517 00:28:10,325 --> 00:28:12,243 Got a high profile kidnapping. 518 00:28:12,453 --> 00:28:15,747 David Ershon, wealthy banker, multinational team. 519 00:28:15,831 --> 00:28:17,915 Maybe a sleeper cell, but it's too early to tell. 520 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:22,420 Hey, Bilbo Baggins. Where are your shoes? 'Cause your feet are black. 521 00:28:22,504 --> 00:28:24,505 Who cares? It's not important, okay? 522 00:28:24,590 --> 00:28:27,133 Hoitz, Gamble, Captain. Not good. 523 00:28:29,011 --> 00:28:30,678 - Bye, guys. - Bye-bye. 524 00:28:30,804 --> 00:28:31,846 Come on. 525 00:28:32,347 --> 00:28:35,516 Guys, this is Don Beaman, the attorney for Mr. Ershon. 526 00:28:35,601 --> 00:28:37,685 Roger Wesley, head of his private security. 527 00:28:37,811 --> 00:28:39,687 - Hey, how are you? You son of a bitch! - Hey, hey, hey! 528 00:28:39,813 --> 00:28:41,522 Hey, Terry! Take it easy! 529 00:28:41,648 --> 00:28:43,608 - That's the guy who took our guns, Captain. - And my shoes! 530 00:28:43,692 --> 00:28:46,694 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you identify yourselves as police officers? 531 00:28:46,819 --> 00:28:47,861 What is this? 532 00:28:47,987 --> 00:28:50,280 - Allen, tell me. Did you? - No, we did not. 533 00:28:50,364 --> 00:28:54,367 Sorry, gentlemen. We thought you were abducting Mr. Ershon. 534 00:28:54,952 --> 00:28:56,119 It's only protocol. 535 00:28:56,329 --> 00:29:00,957 Mr. Ershon has agreed to correct this scaffolding situation. The case is closed. 536 00:29:01,042 --> 00:29:03,543 I've taken care of all necessary paperwork. 537 00:29:03,628 --> 00:29:05,712 And you fellas, at this point, should just be glad that 538 00:29:05,838 --> 00:29:09,299 Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges for excessive use of force. 539 00:29:09,383 --> 00:29:10,884 - Thank you, Captain. - You bet. 540 00:29:11,385 --> 00:29:12,969 Australian? 541 00:29:13,054 --> 00:29:14,513 Special Forces, right? 542 00:29:14,889 --> 00:29:17,390 Best watch your step, Detective. 543 00:29:17,517 --> 00:29:20,227 There are three things I love in this world. 544 00:29:20,311 --> 00:29:21,394 Kylie Minogue, 545 00:29:22,980 --> 00:29:25,732 small dimples just above a woman's buttocks... 546 00:29:25,858 --> 00:29:27,234 Beautiful features. 547 00:29:27,318 --> 00:29:30,070 ...and the fear in a man's eye who knows I'm about to hurt him. 548 00:29:30,154 --> 00:29:34,658 Hey! Shake your dicks. This pissing contest is over. 549 00:29:34,742 --> 00:29:36,076 Come on, man. 550 00:29:38,621 --> 00:29:41,748 All right, look, they returned your shoes. 551 00:29:42,208 --> 00:29:46,419 And they returned your weapons. Here you go, Terry. 552 00:29:48,047 --> 00:29:50,715 Allen, someone was nice enough to put linseed oil on it, 553 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,635 some kind of stain on that, dark walnut or something. 554 00:29:53,761 --> 00:29:56,304 You might wanna think about dropping them a thank you note. 555 00:29:56,430 --> 00:29:57,514 Okay. 556 00:29:57,598 --> 00:29:58,723 You're mad at us, huh, Gene? 557 00:29:58,808 --> 00:30:02,519 First off, don't call me Gene. I'm your captain. 558 00:30:02,603 --> 00:30:05,188 Guys, do you remember the "Be Smart" speech? 559 00:30:05,273 --> 00:30:06,398 - Sure. - All right. 560 00:30:06,482 --> 00:30:09,109 Well, what did you do? What'd you do about it? 561 00:30:09,235 --> 00:30:11,987 The opposite. We were not smart, Captain Gene. 562 00:30:12,113 --> 00:30:14,030 It's just "Captain." 563 00:30:14,115 --> 00:30:17,159 Just "Captain." It's not "Captain Gene." I don't have a kiddie show. 564 00:30:17,285 --> 00:30:18,910 That sounds creepy, "Captain Gene." 565 00:30:19,287 --> 00:30:23,331 Police mistakenly arrest investment banker, David Ershon. 566 00:30:23,456 --> 00:30:26,333 Was he the victim of financial profiling? 567 00:30:26,459 --> 00:30:31,130 Financial profiling? That's crazy. He broke the law and we arrested him. 568 00:30:31,256 --> 00:30:35,301 That wasn't a security team. He said, "Don't let these people take me." 569 00:30:35,427 --> 00:30:37,803 I mean, when you hear hooves, you think horses, not zebras. 570 00:30:39,139 --> 00:30:40,890 What about donkeys or deer? 571 00:30:40,974 --> 00:30:42,975 They have hooves. What about bovine creatures? 572 00:30:44,978 --> 00:30:47,062 Were you just thinking to yourself, "Fresh start"? 573 00:30:47,147 --> 00:30:50,107 - Yeah. - Yeah. I could see it. 574 00:30:50,192 --> 00:30:52,276 Listen, why don't we just go over to my place? 575 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:53,694 We'll talk the case down. 576 00:30:53,820 --> 00:30:55,821 We can have a little dinner. You can meet Sheila. 577 00:30:55,947 --> 00:30:58,616 Two cops talking down a case while eating food, all right? 578 00:30:58,700 --> 00:30:59,867 - It's not dinner. - Fine. 579 00:30:59,993 --> 00:31:01,744 And let me apologize in advance, okay, 580 00:31:01,828 --> 00:31:04,205 in case my wife acts like a world-class bitch. 581 00:31:04,331 --> 00:31:09,501 She's a big old broad, and she likes to wield it. 582 00:31:10,170 --> 00:31:15,507 Okay, so I put together a little bio, complete with pictures of Mr. David Ershon. 583 00:31:15,634 --> 00:31:19,011 I used Adobe Premiere. I like to do a little weekend editing. 584 00:31:19,137 --> 00:31:22,681 I recently just cut three minutes out of Goodfellas. 585 00:31:22,807 --> 00:31:26,018 David Ershon is currently the CEO of Ershon Consortium. 586 00:31:26,144 --> 00:31:27,186 Who's that talking? 587 00:31:27,312 --> 00:31:29,813 It's the Frontline Narration App. It's only 99 cents. 588 00:31:29,898 --> 00:31:33,901 Ershon Consortium, current financial investments exceed $70 billion. 589 00:31:34,027 --> 00:31:37,029 His largest clients include Schering-Plough and Lendl Global. 590 00:31:37,155 --> 00:31:39,823 Lendl Global has those TV ads where I can't figure out what they do. 591 00:31:39,908 --> 00:31:42,993 Yeah, oil, media, health care, you've probably heard their jingle. 592 00:31:43,078 --> 00:31:46,038 Lendl Global, we're in everything 593 00:31:46,164 --> 00:31:48,958 David Ershon is often found in the company of Judge Scalia... 594 00:31:49,042 --> 00:31:51,377 - Yeah. ...and the lead singer of Maroon 5. 595 00:31:51,503 --> 00:31:53,295 I mean, this guy could be connected to drug cartels, 596 00:31:53,380 --> 00:31:56,215 black market organ sales, human trafficking, all of it. 597 00:31:56,341 --> 00:31:57,925 How do you get that from anything I just said? 598 00:31:58,050 --> 00:31:59,801 Hey, guys! Soup's on. 599 00:31:59,885 --> 00:32:01,261 What do you mean? 600 00:32:03,389 --> 00:32:04,472 Hi. 601 00:32:04,556 --> 00:32:06,140 - Hi. - You must be Terry. 602 00:32:06,225 --> 00:32:09,435 I'm sorry I've been hiding, honey, but this dinner was tricky. 603 00:32:10,854 --> 00:32:13,564 - Who are you? - I'm Dr. Sheila Gamble, his wife. 604 00:32:13,899 --> 00:32:16,484 - Come on, seriously. Who is that? - His old lady. 605 00:32:16,568 --> 00:32:19,070 - Sweetie, it's a workstation. - Got it. 606 00:32:19,196 --> 00:32:22,699 And you come in here, dressed like a hobo, it's distracting. 607 00:32:22,783 --> 00:32:24,742 I know you're working. I'm so sorry. 608 00:32:24,868 --> 00:32:26,828 - Come on, seriously. - Come on, what? 609 00:32:26,912 --> 00:32:28,121 Who is that? 610 00:32:28,247 --> 00:32:30,248 That's the old... That's the old ball and chain. 611 00:32:32,584 --> 00:32:34,127 Get over here. 612 00:32:34,253 --> 00:32:35,837 - Not... Not right now. - Okay. 613 00:32:35,921 --> 00:32:37,922 Look, they're not all first-round picks, okay? 614 00:32:38,299 --> 00:32:39,757 Come on, are you gonna tell me who that is? 615 00:32:40,592 --> 00:32:44,095 - Are you really Allen's wife? - I know. 616 00:32:44,221 --> 00:32:47,640 People are shocked because he's Episcopalian and I'm Catholic, 617 00:32:48,309 --> 00:32:49,767 but somehow it works. 618 00:32:50,477 --> 00:32:53,104 - Are you gonna change? - I already did. 619 00:32:53,272 --> 00:32:55,398 It's no big deal. You look really, really nice. 620 00:32:55,482 --> 00:32:59,569 Terry, you don't have to be polite, okay? She looks kind of shitty. 621 00:32:59,653 --> 00:33:00,987 Don't speak to her like that, Allen. 622 00:33:01,113 --> 00:33:05,616 Look, if I put that in my Cosmo Fashion App, you'd probably get a D-. 623 00:33:05,743 --> 00:33:07,702 Allen and his apps. He loves them. 624 00:33:07,786 --> 00:33:11,289 You know he's designed three of his own? One of them... Can I tell him? 625 00:33:11,915 --> 00:33:13,791 One of them, you can take a picture of anybody's face, 626 00:33:13,917 --> 00:33:16,669 and it'll tell you what the back of his head looks like. 627 00:33:16,962 --> 00:33:18,254 - Faceback. - Faceback. 628 00:33:18,339 --> 00:33:20,423 Got some horrible reviews coming out of the gate. 629 00:33:20,799 --> 00:33:21,924 - It's gonna hit. - It's gonna catch. 630 00:33:22,009 --> 00:33:24,052 Why are you with Allen? 631 00:33:24,136 --> 00:33:28,014 I mean, that's not what I meant. I meant, how did you guys meet? 632 00:33:28,140 --> 00:33:30,850 It's a really typical "how we met" story, Terry. 633 00:33:30,976 --> 00:33:32,268 You're gonna be bored by it. 634 00:33:32,353 --> 00:33:36,356 I was a dancer for the Knicks while finishing my residency at Columbia Hospital. 635 00:33:36,481 --> 00:33:38,440 Allen came into the ER with poison ivy on his rectum. 636 00:33:38,524 --> 00:33:39,524 Yes. 637 00:33:40,026 --> 00:33:42,652 Needless to say, I fell for him immediately. 638 00:33:43,071 --> 00:33:47,282 We immediately spent the next three days at the La Quinta Inn, 639 00:33:48,034 --> 00:33:50,327 - and, to be honest, we didn't speak. - Three days 640 00:33:50,411 --> 00:33:52,996 of not communicating once verbally. 641 00:33:53,289 --> 00:33:55,332 We had actually, without knowing it, 642 00:33:55,416 --> 00:34:00,712 developed a language of eye flutters and non-verbal gestures. 643 00:34:00,922 --> 00:34:03,590 You know, Terry, it was just this primal connection. 644 00:34:04,050 --> 00:34:09,054 After those three days of non-verbal communication and a whole lot of loving, 645 00:34:09,263 --> 00:34:12,599 I had to go to a specialist to get my hips realigned. 646 00:34:12,975 --> 00:34:16,603 Similar to operating on a German shepherd 647 00:34:17,355 --> 00:34:20,941 - when they have hip dysplasia. - Very painful. 648 00:34:21,275 --> 00:34:25,278 It's funny, it's like a scene from that one movie, always forget the name of it. 649 00:34:25,405 --> 00:34:26,530 - With Meg Ryan. - Yes. 650 00:34:26,614 --> 00:34:29,616 I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan meets a guy with poison ivy up his ass. 651 00:34:29,700 --> 00:34:32,119 - I'll think of it. I'll think of it. - Okay. 652 00:34:32,203 --> 00:34:33,870 So, what about you, Terry? Do you have a girl? 653 00:34:33,955 --> 00:34:35,956 I did, yeah. 654 00:34:36,082 --> 00:34:38,542 We were supposed to get married, but she backed out. It's complicated. 655 00:34:38,626 --> 00:34:41,044 - Terry shot Derek Jeter. - Shut up, Allen. This was before. 656 00:34:41,129 --> 00:34:42,379 That's okay. 657 00:34:42,463 --> 00:34:44,464 She's Got Mail. That's the name of the movie. 658 00:34:44,549 --> 00:34:46,466 That's it! Honey! 659 00:34:46,592 --> 00:34:47,634 - With Tom Hanks? - Right. 660 00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:48,802 - And Meg Ryan. - Meg Ryan. 661 00:34:48,928 --> 00:34:49,970 He didn't have poison ivy up his ass. 662 00:34:50,096 --> 00:34:51,388 - Yes, he did. - Yes, he did. Yeah. 663 00:34:51,472 --> 00:34:52,681 Way up there. 664 00:34:53,182 --> 00:34:55,767 Well, Terry, can't thank you enough for coming by. What a... 665 00:34:55,893 --> 00:34:57,477 What a wonderful, lovely evening. Thank you. 666 00:34:57,562 --> 00:35:01,189 - It was so, so nice meeting you, Terry. - It was my pleasure. Thank you. 667 00:35:01,274 --> 00:35:05,777 And remember, all I ask of you is, you don't let him get hurt, Terry. 668 00:35:05,903 --> 00:35:08,238 - She tells me that every day before I leave. - Yep, I do. 669 00:35:08,573 --> 00:35:11,408 I come downstairs and I make him his fresh-cut strawberries, 670 00:35:11,533 --> 00:35:14,285 and I say, "Listen, my little sugar balls, whatever you do today, 671 00:35:14,411 --> 00:35:15,661 "you just don't get hurt." 672 00:35:15,745 --> 00:35:17,079 Yeah. Every morning. 673 00:35:17,539 --> 00:35:21,000 And then I show him my breasts, and I say, "These are waiting for you 674 00:35:21,084 --> 00:35:22,209 - "when you get back home." - Right. 675 00:35:22,294 --> 00:35:25,171 You know, Terry, they're not the biggest breasts he's ever seen, 676 00:35:25,255 --> 00:35:27,673 - but, man, are they perky. - Not by a long shot. 677 00:35:27,757 --> 00:35:30,426 - And they are firm, and they are yours. - You're a nice lady. 678 00:35:32,262 --> 00:35:33,429 Thank you for coming. 679 00:35:33,805 --> 00:35:37,766 Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Over. 680 00:35:37,893 --> 00:35:38,934 Go for Hoitz. 681 00:35:39,060 --> 00:35:40,561 - We found your red Prius. - Great. 682 00:35:40,645 --> 00:35:42,730 It was trying to vote for Ralph Nader. 683 00:35:42,814 --> 00:35:45,024 - Come on. - Okay, sugar balls, listen up. 684 00:35:45,108 --> 00:35:46,400 There's gonna be fingerprints on that car. 685 00:35:46,485 --> 00:35:48,819 Tomorrow, we're gonna run those fingerprints through the system. 686 00:35:48,945 --> 00:35:52,573 And if we get a hit, this case is gonna heat up faster than a junkie's spoon. 687 00:35:52,657 --> 00:35:54,992 You do one thing when you wake up tomorrow, bring it. 688 00:35:55,118 --> 00:35:56,160 - Okay. - Thank you, Sheila. 689 00:35:56,286 --> 00:35:57,328 He'll bring it. 690 00:35:57,454 --> 00:35:59,038 - Good night! - Good night. 691 00:35:59,122 --> 00:36:00,456 Thank you, Sheila. 692 00:36:00,790 --> 00:36:03,834 - Bye, Terry! - Bye, Sheila! I'll never forget tonight. 693 00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:05,711 - Bye, Terry! - All right, Allen, whatever. Go inside. 694 00:36:05,795 --> 00:36:06,879 Bye, Sheila! 695 00:36:06,963 --> 00:36:08,464 - Night! - See you... See you, Terry! 696 00:36:08,965 --> 00:36:10,466 Bye, Sheila. 697 00:36:14,429 --> 00:36:17,014 I don't know if he heard me. Bye, Terry! 698 00:36:17,140 --> 00:36:18,682 Bye, Sheila! 699 00:36:22,145 --> 00:36:26,524 Well, here she is. They left her under an overpass for the night. 700 00:36:26,650 --> 00:36:28,275 You find anything? 701 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,111 Yeah. We found a lot of stuff. 702 00:36:31,196 --> 00:36:33,155 From bodily fluid and hair samples, 703 00:36:33,281 --> 00:36:36,283 we determined that a bunch of old, homeless dudes had an orgy in the car. 704 00:36:36,368 --> 00:36:38,577 - Oh, God. - Yeah. 705 00:36:38,995 --> 00:36:40,579 You know what that's called when they do that in there? 706 00:36:40,705 --> 00:36:42,164 That's called a soup kitchen. 707 00:36:42,249 --> 00:36:43,832 It's pretty rough stuff. 708 00:36:43,917 --> 00:36:47,419 Not long after that, a mama raccoon came along 709 00:36:47,503 --> 00:36:48,920 and gave birth on the floor. 710 00:36:49,755 --> 00:36:51,339 Placenta blew out all over the back window there. 711 00:36:52,466 --> 00:36:55,093 Yeah, and then to top it all off, some joker comes along 712 00:36:55,386 --> 00:36:58,471 takes himself a nifty little dump in the driver's seat. 713 00:36:58,806 --> 00:37:00,556 I think he knew you guys were cops, 714 00:37:00,933 --> 00:37:03,434 because this is what I would call a spite shit. 715 00:37:03,894 --> 00:37:05,311 You were able to determine all of that 716 00:37:05,396 --> 00:37:07,230 - from the hair and fluid samples? - Oh, yeah. 717 00:37:07,606 --> 00:37:09,482 What about fingerprints? You find any fingerprints? 718 00:37:09,566 --> 00:37:11,609 - Nope, couldn't get a one. - Found a cell phone. 719 00:37:12,069 --> 00:37:13,278 Yeah, that's mine. 720 00:37:13,404 --> 00:37:14,821 Any signs of a struggle or spent shells? 721 00:37:15,447 --> 00:37:19,617 No. Believe me, everybody that was in on this orgy was more than willing. 722 00:37:19,702 --> 00:37:21,786 In fact, they even left you a note here. 723 00:37:21,870 --> 00:37:25,581 "Thanks for the F-shack. Love, Dirty Mike and the boys." 724 00:37:25,708 --> 00:37:26,708 Here's something we found. 725 00:37:26,792 --> 00:37:29,419 We found about a dozen unscratched lottery tickets. 726 00:37:29,586 --> 00:37:32,630 No fingerprints or nothing. Check that out. 727 00:37:32,798 --> 00:37:36,134 Yeah, it's a real shame, you know. I got myself a Prius. It's a hell of a machine. 728 00:37:36,969 --> 00:37:39,929 It's my first brand-new car. I've never owned a new car. 729 00:37:40,014 --> 00:37:41,806 Found a deer vagina. 730 00:37:42,641 --> 00:37:44,851 - What? - Thought it was human lips at first. 731 00:37:44,977 --> 00:37:47,437 Then we took a closer look. It was definitely a deer vagina. 732 00:37:49,732 --> 00:37:50,940 Not even a free ticket. 733 00:37:51,942 --> 00:37:53,151 What are we gonna do? 734 00:37:53,277 --> 00:37:56,321 We got no fingerprints, a bunch of losing lottery tickets. 735 00:37:56,572 --> 00:37:59,282 Look at this, there's a two-minute phone call made after we were jumped. 736 00:37:59,616 --> 00:38:01,534 - They used your phone? - They ghost dialed. 737 00:38:01,618 --> 00:38:02,785 Someone probably sat on it. 738 00:38:02,911 --> 00:38:05,621 It could have recorded some of their conversation when Ershon got grabbed. 739 00:38:05,748 --> 00:38:07,081 We gotta hear the other side of that call. 740 00:38:08,250 --> 00:38:09,584 Nope, no, it's nothing. 741 00:38:09,668 --> 00:38:11,919 - Nothing? It's the only lead we have. - It's nothing. It's nothing. 742 00:38:12,004 --> 00:38:13,421 Why did you just get super jumpy? 743 00:38:14,506 --> 00:38:15,590 What? 744 00:38:15,674 --> 00:38:17,633 It's an ex-girlfriend, okay? 745 00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:19,469 What's the matter? What happened with you guys? 746 00:38:19,595 --> 00:38:21,429 She was just a bit of a handful, that's it. 747 00:38:26,434 --> 00:38:28,352 Allen, it's the only lead we have. 748 00:38:28,478 --> 00:38:30,812 We either go with this or we walk away from this case right now. 749 00:38:31,356 --> 00:38:33,273 Fine. Let's go see her. 750 00:38:46,162 --> 00:38:47,412 Hello, Christinith. 751 00:38:47,497 --> 00:38:49,122 Hello, Allen. 752 00:38:51,501 --> 00:38:54,294 - That's my partner, Terry. - Hi, Telly. 753 00:38:54,712 --> 00:38:57,881 - Holy shit. Dude. - Just relax, relax. 754 00:38:58,674 --> 00:39:03,053 I waited for you in Tower Records for four hours. 755 00:39:04,013 --> 00:39:05,972 That was 13 years ago. 756 00:39:09,018 --> 00:39:13,980 Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert. Who wants some Arnie Palmies? 757 00:39:15,316 --> 00:39:16,900 Sweetie, this one has the vodky, right here. 758 00:39:17,026 --> 00:39:20,195 - Hal, just place it down, please. - All righty. 759 00:39:21,030 --> 00:39:22,239 Okay. 760 00:39:26,369 --> 00:39:31,498 I did things in bed with you that I haven't done with anyone since. 761 00:39:31,582 --> 00:39:32,874 No. 762 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,752 - Christinith, your husband, it's awkward. - Oh, no, he knows all of this. 763 00:39:35,878 --> 00:39:38,380 - You're a lucky dog. - It's true. 764 00:39:41,384 --> 00:39:43,260 Christine, this is a lovely house. 765 00:39:43,386 --> 00:39:46,388 It's Christinith. Are you stupid, or are you deaf? 766 00:39:46,597 --> 00:39:49,224 Christinith, you idiot! 767 00:39:49,559 --> 00:39:53,895 You come to our house, you get my wife's name right! 768 00:39:54,355 --> 00:39:55,689 - What? - Christinith! 769 00:39:55,773 --> 00:39:58,567 Look, we really appreciate the hospitality. 770 00:39:58,901 --> 00:40:01,027 We'd just love to get the message off your cell phone. 771 00:40:01,111 --> 00:40:05,072 We believe it might give us information regarding a kidnapping. 772 00:40:05,198 --> 00:40:10,578 Okay. Why don't you come to the kitchen, and I will let you listen to it 773 00:40:10,704 --> 00:40:14,206 and everyone else stay here. 774 00:40:14,583 --> 00:40:17,251 - Okay, sweetie. - Come on. 775 00:40:21,089 --> 00:40:23,466 - There's my phone. - Great, thank you for... 776 00:40:26,845 --> 00:40:30,264 I hate you, you son of a bitch! 777 00:40:30,348 --> 00:40:33,726 - You're so strong. - I'm stronger than you will ever know! 778 00:40:33,810 --> 00:40:36,854 I hate you! I hate you! 779 00:40:36,980 --> 00:40:40,441 You're so adorable. Look at your face. Look at your face. 780 00:40:40,525 --> 00:40:44,487 You go, "I wuv you." Say it. "I wuv you, Cwistinith." 781 00:40:50,285 --> 00:40:54,705 You probably think because of the beard that I'm really hairy. 782 00:40:54,831 --> 00:40:56,790 But I'm not. 783 00:40:58,168 --> 00:40:59,668 Shaved. 784 00:41:00,170 --> 00:41:01,879 - Allen! - He's fine. 785 00:41:02,839 --> 00:41:04,048 Question. 786 00:41:05,091 --> 00:41:06,258 What would you rather be, 787 00:41:07,636 --> 00:41:10,095 a bear or a dog? 788 00:41:10,263 --> 00:41:13,182 - I don't care. - I wanna be 789 00:41:14,559 --> 00:41:17,144 a bear dog. Half dog, half bear. 790 00:41:17,812 --> 00:41:20,189 'Cause that way, I could live in the house 791 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:23,400 but I still get to make a doodie out in the woods. 792 00:41:24,194 --> 00:41:25,361 Allen! 793 00:41:29,699 --> 00:41:31,158 Allen! Allen! 794 00:41:31,243 --> 00:41:34,453 - This is police evidence. Terry! Let's go! - Hey! 795 00:41:34,538 --> 00:41:37,081 You get back here and you make love to my wife! 796 00:41:37,206 --> 00:41:38,706 Allen! Allen! 797 00:41:39,542 --> 00:41:43,086 I don't get it, man. I just do not get it. 798 00:41:43,212 --> 00:41:45,421 I mean, that girl Christinith was seriously hot. 799 00:41:45,548 --> 00:41:47,131 Your wife is crazy hot. 800 00:41:47,216 --> 00:41:50,260 I mean, even that Brazilian security chick, she threw you a "Do me" vibe. 801 00:41:50,386 --> 00:41:52,011 What is it with you and hot ladies? 802 00:41:52,096 --> 00:41:55,473 First off, my wife is cute, but she's not hot. 803 00:41:55,558 --> 00:41:59,644 Dude, you're insane. Your wife is scalding hot. 804 00:41:59,728 --> 00:42:02,105 - You wanna listen to this message or not? - Yeah, whatever. 805 00:42:02,231 --> 00:42:03,773 You have one job, mate. 806 00:42:03,899 --> 00:42:05,858 Find a sucker to invest with you 807 00:42:05,943 --> 00:42:07,902 so you can pay my boss back the money you lost. 808 00:42:08,028 --> 00:42:09,195 And I don't care who. 809 00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,614 Right. I actually think I found a sucker... 810 00:42:11,740 --> 00:42:14,158 - He's talking to Ershon. ...to invest $32 billion. 811 00:42:14,243 --> 00:42:15,827 Who's got $32 billion to rob? 812 00:42:15,911 --> 00:42:18,204 Once I get the money, I'll falsify the records 813 00:42:18,289 --> 00:42:21,040 to show their massive losses and then repay your employer. 814 00:42:21,125 --> 00:42:24,794 Now, since you're following me, I need to go to 2300 Park Avenue, 815 00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:26,462 and after that... 816 00:42:26,589 --> 00:42:28,339 I told you it wasn't a security team. 817 00:42:28,632 --> 00:42:31,801 - He was being abducted. - Obviously, but what kind... Holy... 818 00:42:31,927 --> 00:42:33,428 Nobody leaves our house without making love to my wife! 819 00:42:33,512 --> 00:42:34,679 - Is that him? - Yeah! 820 00:42:34,763 --> 00:42:36,556 Oh, my God, they came out of nowhere! 821 00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,474 - Holy shit! - They chased us 20 miles. 822 00:42:38,601 --> 00:42:40,768 - You come back here! You get back here! - Allen! 823 00:42:48,527 --> 00:42:52,113 2300 Park Avenue. It's the offices of the lottery. 824 00:42:53,282 --> 00:42:54,949 Holy shit, the lottery tickets we found. 825 00:42:55,326 --> 00:42:57,744 Ershon is using the lottery money to cover his losses. 826 00:42:57,828 --> 00:43:00,663 $32 billion. That's the state's money. 827 00:43:00,789 --> 00:43:02,957 Well, what do we tell Mauch? A guy lost some money. 828 00:43:03,042 --> 00:43:06,544 We have a scratchy cell phone message and an address. It's still half a case. 829 00:43:06,629 --> 00:43:10,590 There's gotta be some sort of paper trail. If we can find that, we can track it, 830 00:43:10,674 --> 00:43:11,883 then we can go to Mauch. 831 00:43:12,634 --> 00:43:16,637 So, I did some more research on Ershon's accounting firm, 832 00:43:16,721 --> 00:43:18,430 and I found some pretty interesting stuff. 833 00:43:18,514 --> 00:43:21,683 It turns out that Gretchel and Dawson has... 834 00:43:23,144 --> 00:43:24,811 Hold on, I'm up. 835 00:43:26,147 --> 00:43:29,191 I gave my love to Erin 836 00:43:30,151 --> 00:43:33,820 She promised to be true 837 00:43:34,364 --> 00:43:38,367 I went to war to come back 838 00:43:38,493 --> 00:43:42,412 And find five British soldiers 839 00:43:42,497 --> 00:43:45,707 Had their way with her 840 00:43:45,875 --> 00:43:50,253 It was consensual 841 00:43:51,005 --> 00:43:52,047 Done? 842 00:43:52,173 --> 00:43:55,092 Gretchel and Dawson Accounting Firm in Fair Lawn, New Jersey 843 00:43:55,176 --> 00:43:58,261 has only one client, David Ershon. 844 00:43:58,346 --> 00:44:00,889 Pretty rinky-dink operation for a guy like that. 845 00:44:01,015 --> 00:44:03,684 Looks like we're going to Jersey to visit an accounting firm. 846 00:44:03,768 --> 00:44:06,520 That's a shitty day. 847 00:44:07,772 --> 00:44:11,817 And all their fathers were hanged 848 00:44:11,901 --> 00:44:15,362 And the children all got pink eye 849 00:44:17,448 --> 00:44:24,287 While their Harry Potter books were burned 850 00:44:29,919 --> 00:44:32,337 Do you have fun singing those songs? They're really depressing. 851 00:44:32,422 --> 00:44:34,881 I do. They're full of rich history. 852 00:44:36,050 --> 00:44:38,051 Damn it, I'm late. I was supposed to go meet my lady. 853 00:44:38,136 --> 00:44:40,512 I thought you said you guys split up. 854 00:44:40,596 --> 00:44:43,140 Let's just keep our thing about work, okay? 855 00:44:43,224 --> 00:44:44,808 All right. Goodbye, buddy. 856 00:44:44,892 --> 00:44:46,893 Hey, get off me, man. 857 00:45:05,495 --> 00:45:08,205 What the hell are you doing? 858 00:45:08,290 --> 00:45:10,875 I'm dancing, Terry. What the hell are you doing here? 859 00:45:10,959 --> 00:45:13,127 I love you, Francine. 860 00:45:13,253 --> 00:45:16,464 If you were with me, you wouldn't be here in this strip club, shaking it for dollar bills! 861 00:45:16,590 --> 00:45:21,594 This is a ballet studio, Terry. Okay? These poles are horizontal. 862 00:45:21,678 --> 00:45:23,721 He loves you very much, Francine. 863 00:45:23,805 --> 00:45:26,265 - Who is this guy? - What are you doing here, Allen? 864 00:45:26,349 --> 00:45:27,975 It's the code. I'm your partner. 865 00:45:28,185 --> 00:45:31,228 I'm here to support a friend and a work colleague. 866 00:45:31,313 --> 00:45:32,813 Francine, is this guy bothering you? 867 00:45:32,939 --> 00:45:35,775 Who's this, your new boyfriend? Great. You got a new boyfriend. 868 00:45:35,859 --> 00:45:39,278 He is my dance partner, Terry. Okay? 869 00:45:39,362 --> 00:45:41,155 I know that this is a big surprise, 870 00:45:41,281 --> 00:45:44,116 but there are other things in the world besides being a cop. Okay? 871 00:45:44,785 --> 00:45:47,620 Now, if you will excuse me, I'm gonna dance. 872 00:45:47,704 --> 00:45:49,497 What, you don't think I can do this shit? 873 00:46:06,014 --> 00:46:08,224 That was surprisingly good, Terry. 874 00:46:08,517 --> 00:46:11,227 - I love you, Francine. - You don't know what love is. 875 00:46:11,311 --> 00:46:13,270 He loves you very much, Francine! 876 00:46:13,355 --> 00:46:15,272 I heard it when he said it. Thank you. 877 00:46:15,357 --> 00:46:17,566 You know what you're doing to me? You're killing me inside. 878 00:46:17,651 --> 00:46:18,776 And don't eyeball me, man! 879 00:46:18,860 --> 00:46:20,820 You're running around with this crack-dealing drug addict? 880 00:46:20,904 --> 00:46:21,987 Terry! 881 00:46:22,072 --> 00:46:23,781 He does not approve of your behavior! 882 00:46:23,865 --> 00:46:25,825 Can you please go? 883 00:46:25,908 --> 00:46:28,201 And you, too, creepy guy standing in the door? 884 00:46:32,331 --> 00:46:33,540 Let's go, Allen. 885 00:46:33,999 --> 00:46:36,584 I think we all experienced our own ballet today. 886 00:46:36,919 --> 00:46:38,711 The ballet of emotion and feelings. 887 00:46:39,171 --> 00:46:40,755 You're kind of making things worse. 888 00:46:50,349 --> 00:46:53,184 - You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. 889 00:46:54,687 --> 00:46:57,188 Hey, I didn't know you could dance. 890 00:46:58,065 --> 00:47:00,525 We used to do those dance moves to make fun of guys when we were kids, 891 00:47:00,609 --> 00:47:02,026 show them how queer they were, okay? 892 00:47:03,904 --> 00:47:06,906 - You learned to dance like that sarcastically? - Yeah, I guess. 893 00:47:07,032 --> 00:47:10,535 Stay out of my personal life, okay? The kid flies private. 894 00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:13,788 Stay focused on the case, man. I'll see you in Jersey tomorrow. 895 00:47:14,206 --> 00:47:15,790 All right, Terry. 896 00:47:16,375 --> 00:47:19,919 Hey, that was liberating for me. I don't know how it felt for you. 897 00:47:42,443 --> 00:47:45,820 Here, check this out. Article from six months ago. 898 00:47:45,905 --> 00:47:47,488 Talking about how the lottery is looking 899 00:47:47,573 --> 00:47:50,325 to invest their $30-billion fund more aggressively. 900 00:47:50,576 --> 00:47:51,576 So he's dealing drugs? 901 00:47:52,161 --> 00:47:55,955 No, it's not drugs. This isn't Miami Vice. 902 00:47:59,084 --> 00:48:00,919 Look, I'm sorry. I just... 903 00:48:01,586 --> 00:48:06,298 I am in a bit of a state today. Sheila and I got into it last night. 904 00:48:06,841 --> 00:48:08,216 What happened? 905 00:48:10,094 --> 00:48:12,930 She was interested in taking this class at The Learning Annex, right? 906 00:48:13,556 --> 00:48:15,474 Called "The Art of Oral Sex"? 907 00:48:15,767 --> 00:48:18,435 You know, we just don't have it in the budget right now. 908 00:48:19,062 --> 00:48:21,021 It's always about her. 909 00:48:21,439 --> 00:48:23,398 Yeah, that's... That's messed up. 910 00:48:25,109 --> 00:48:26,276 Hey, I got you a gift. 911 00:48:27,111 --> 00:48:30,864 I just saw something, and I thought of you, and so, I don't want it to be weird. 912 00:48:30,949 --> 00:48:32,115 I just wanted to be nice. 913 00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:33,533 Of course it's weird. 914 00:48:33,618 --> 00:48:35,452 It's a grown man giving another man a present. 915 00:48:37,121 --> 00:48:39,456 There you go. Open it up. 916 00:48:40,041 --> 00:48:41,959 It's okay, you're welcome. 917 00:48:42,460 --> 00:48:44,461 I like to do things like that. 918 00:48:44,587 --> 00:48:46,630 Take a look what it says. 919 00:48:55,431 --> 00:48:57,891 You know, because we're both in law enforcement. 920 00:48:58,017 --> 00:48:59,559 We both like women. 921 00:48:59,686 --> 00:49:02,688 But I got a weird sense of humor. I'm a sick puppy. 922 00:49:03,022 --> 00:49:05,148 I can't look at it. It makes me laugh so hard. 923 00:49:05,233 --> 00:49:06,525 Me, too. 924 00:49:09,946 --> 00:49:13,115 Real nice. You know, it's all class. 925 00:49:15,368 --> 00:49:16,743 - Okay. - Don't do that shit any more. 926 00:49:16,869 --> 00:49:18,578 Yeah, believe me, I won't. 927 00:49:18,955 --> 00:49:21,248 Do you understand what's so funny about it, though? 928 00:49:22,875 --> 00:49:26,420 'Cause it's the FBI, right? It has the same logo, the same shield. 929 00:49:26,546 --> 00:49:29,589 And at first glance, you're like, it's just a mug that says "FBI." 930 00:49:29,716 --> 00:49:34,553 But then at second glance, you're like, "Female Body Inspector"? 931 00:49:34,637 --> 00:49:36,805 Get out of town. This is outrageous... 932 00:49:36,889 --> 00:49:38,223 Shut up! 933 00:49:50,736 --> 00:49:52,903 I'm gonna climb over that anger wall of yours 934 00:49:52,988 --> 00:49:54,071 one of these days, 935 00:49:54,156 --> 00:49:56,323 and it's gonna be glorious. 936 00:49:59,911 --> 00:50:02,538 Shouldn't we tell Mauch that we're going to check this place out? 937 00:50:02,622 --> 00:50:04,248 For what? We're just going to check it out. 938 00:50:04,332 --> 00:50:06,751 I know, but it's procedure. 939 00:50:06,835 --> 00:50:08,961 Terry answers to no one. 940 00:50:09,629 --> 00:50:11,797 I do what I do. 941 00:50:12,841 --> 00:50:15,301 What accounting firm is closed at 11:00 a.m. On a Tuesday? 942 00:50:15,427 --> 00:50:16,635 This is a shithole. 943 00:50:24,311 --> 00:50:25,394 I love bombs. 944 00:50:25,479 --> 00:50:28,647 I can't hear! I can't hear! 945 00:50:30,108 --> 00:50:32,109 There's blood blisters on my hands! 946 00:50:32,194 --> 00:50:33,277 Oh, my God! 947 00:50:33,361 --> 00:50:35,654 How do they walk away in movies without flinching 948 00:50:35,781 --> 00:50:37,448 when it explodes behind them? 949 00:50:37,532 --> 00:50:40,785 There's no way! I call bullshit on that! 950 00:50:41,119 --> 00:50:44,455 When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star, 951 00:50:44,539 --> 00:50:48,542 and it was followed by the explosion, that was bullshit! 952 00:50:48,627 --> 00:50:51,921 Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars! That was all accurate! 953 00:50:52,005 --> 00:50:53,964 I need an MRI. 954 00:50:54,049 --> 00:50:58,344 I need an MRI! I've got soft tissue damage. 955 00:50:58,804 --> 00:51:00,846 There's no way I don't have soft tissue damage. 956 00:51:00,972 --> 00:51:02,014 Please stop. 957 00:51:02,140 --> 00:51:03,808 I just wanna go somewhere and breastfeed right now! 958 00:51:07,979 --> 00:51:12,358 Fire Department said it was a gas leak, but no way. That was timed. 959 00:51:12,484 --> 00:51:14,235 They didn't wanna kill us, but they wanted to scare us. 960 00:51:14,318 --> 00:51:16,820 Yeah, well, they succeeded, okay? 961 00:51:16,904 --> 00:51:19,531 I'm tired of this. All right? 962 00:51:19,657 --> 00:51:22,158 I'm tired of explosions and people pointing guns at me. 963 00:51:22,243 --> 00:51:24,369 I wanna go back to my desk. 964 00:51:24,495 --> 00:51:27,956 Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes and messes with your ears. 965 00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:30,500 You can't escape it by hiding at your desk for your whole life. 966 00:51:30,584 --> 00:51:33,336 You know what? Yes, you can. I've done it for years, okay? 967 00:51:33,420 --> 00:51:36,339 There's no explosions at my desk. 968 00:51:36,423 --> 00:51:41,344 There's no explosions at my home with my plain wife, in my plain house. 969 00:51:43,681 --> 00:51:45,431 What are you afraid of, man? 970 00:51:46,559 --> 00:51:51,062 I'm your partner. You can tell me. What the hell are you hiding from? 971 00:51:51,856 --> 00:51:54,190 I was a sophomore in college. 972 00:51:55,568 --> 00:51:59,696 The university I went to decided they needed to raise tuition. 973 00:52:00,781 --> 00:52:06,619 A classmate of mine, Brenda, in an effort to raise money and stay in school, 974 00:52:06,704 --> 00:52:08,663 came up with a nifty plan 975 00:52:08,747 --> 00:52:11,207 where she thought she'd date guys and charge them money. 976 00:52:11,375 --> 00:52:12,959 I go on dates all the time, 977 00:52:13,043 --> 00:52:15,170 with a whole bunch of, you know, boys and stuff. 978 00:52:15,254 --> 00:52:18,590 And I kind of need somebody to help me out, like, you know, my partner in crime. 979 00:52:19,216 --> 00:52:21,426 Yeah, I could make a schedule. 980 00:52:21,552 --> 00:52:23,094 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I was thinking. 981 00:52:23,220 --> 00:52:25,722 - Provide transportation services. - Yeah, yeah. 982 00:52:25,806 --> 00:52:27,932 - It's gonna be a good time. - Thanks so much for asking me. 983 00:52:28,058 --> 00:52:30,476 She said she needed my help to make sure that the dates went okay 984 00:52:30,561 --> 00:52:34,022 and that the guys paid her. She said she'd give me a percentage. 985 00:52:34,106 --> 00:52:37,400 - Oh, my God. You were a pimp. - What? God, no. 986 00:52:37,484 --> 00:52:39,569 No, I was just trying to help a friend. 987 00:52:39,653 --> 00:52:42,238 We started making a lot of money. 988 00:52:43,240 --> 00:52:46,117 And wouldn't you know it, some of Brenda's girlfriends 989 00:52:46,243 --> 00:52:48,912 decided they wanted to be a part of it. 990 00:52:48,996 --> 00:52:51,664 Pretty soon, there were about 14 ladies that I was protecting 991 00:52:51,748 --> 00:52:53,373 while they gave me money. 992 00:52:53,458 --> 00:52:55,000 That's called a stable of whores. 993 00:52:55,919 --> 00:53:00,839 We decided I shouldn't use my real name. So we came up with the name "Gator." 994 00:53:01,090 --> 00:53:02,549 I'm telling you, you were a pimp. 995 00:53:02,634 --> 00:53:05,260 No! Are you even listening to the story? 996 00:53:08,097 --> 00:53:10,140 Anyway, one day, I wake up and I look in the mirror, 997 00:53:10,266 --> 00:53:12,476 and I don't like what I see. 998 00:53:13,770 --> 00:53:17,272 I mean, I had gotten out of control, and I didn't even realize it. 999 00:53:18,107 --> 00:53:20,442 You can't have a conscience in the pimp game. 1000 00:53:21,152 --> 00:53:22,903 One night, two of my favorite girls, 1001 00:53:22,987 --> 00:53:25,197 Candy and Jolene, said, "We gotta take you in," 1002 00:53:25,281 --> 00:53:27,574 and they dropped me off at the emergency room. 1003 00:53:27,659 --> 00:53:29,576 That's where I met Sheila. I was a mess. 1004 00:53:29,661 --> 00:53:34,873 I made a promise to myself and to her that I would never get out of control again. 1005 00:53:35,708 --> 00:53:37,084 So, as soon as I graduated from college, 1006 00:53:37,168 --> 00:53:40,128 I became an accountant for the police department. 1007 00:53:40,713 --> 00:53:43,465 The most stable job I could think of. 1008 00:53:45,009 --> 00:53:47,469 An accountant for law and order. 1009 00:53:49,722 --> 00:53:53,809 I just don't wanna ever feel out of control like that ever again. 1010 00:53:53,893 --> 00:53:56,603 Don't worry. I got your back. 1011 00:53:56,688 --> 00:53:59,106 Now I say we go get in Ershon's grill and see if he cracks. 1012 00:53:59,190 --> 00:54:02,985 - I'm tired of all this tippy-toeing around. - Okay. 1013 00:54:03,319 --> 00:54:06,029 You can either walk the plank or take your panties off. 1014 00:54:06,155 --> 00:54:07,739 The choice is yours. 1015 00:54:07,824 --> 00:54:12,077 - I want to take my panties off. - You've made a wise choice, you have. 1016 00:54:12,161 --> 00:54:16,999 Mr. Ershon, Detective Gamble and the officer who shot Derek Jeter are here. 1017 00:54:17,500 --> 00:54:18,750 Gentlemen, please. 1018 00:54:18,835 --> 00:54:22,129 - Remember us, hotshot? - Of course I do. Please, sit. 1019 00:54:22,213 --> 00:54:23,880 There she blows. 1020 00:54:26,342 --> 00:54:29,553 Two of those Russian waters, please. No lime wedges, just cucumber. 1021 00:54:29,678 --> 00:54:32,763 Guess where we just came from? An explosion at your accounting office. 1022 00:54:33,098 --> 00:54:35,349 Yes, that awful gas leak. 1023 00:54:35,434 --> 00:54:39,353 Gas leak? The only gas leak is the one coming out of your mouth right now. 1024 00:54:39,438 --> 00:54:44,483 I just thank God no one was hurt or injured in a bad way. 1025 00:54:44,568 --> 00:54:47,278 I absolutely abhor death. 1026 00:54:47,529 --> 00:54:51,032 Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber. The jig is up, okay? 1027 00:54:51,116 --> 00:54:52,950 We know that wasn't your security team that grabbed you. 1028 00:54:53,035 --> 00:54:55,369 And we know you're targeting a big fish to cover losses. 1029 00:54:55,454 --> 00:54:57,788 You talk or I beat you so it don't show no bruises. 1030 00:54:58,206 --> 00:55:00,916 God, this water is good. Terry, have you tried the water? 1031 00:55:01,043 --> 00:55:02,501 Shut up, Allen. 1032 00:55:02,586 --> 00:55:05,880 I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about. 1033 00:55:05,964 --> 00:55:09,884 I understand there was a bit of a mix-up with the whole scaffolding business. 1034 00:55:09,968 --> 00:55:15,389 The cucumber accents the water in such a way that... 1035 00:55:16,558 --> 00:55:21,270 Perhaps by way of apology, I can offer you my personal courtside seats 1036 00:55:21,396 --> 00:55:25,566 for the Knicks game, with access to the Ambassador Club. 1037 00:55:27,903 --> 00:55:32,740 Come on, Knicks! Come on! I got Knicks' fever and it's catching! 1038 00:55:34,409 --> 00:55:38,412 Hey. This feels weird sitting here. It feels like it's a bribe. 1039 00:55:38,497 --> 00:55:43,042 It is a bribe. Son-of-a-bitch, I saw courtside and I went blind. 1040 00:55:43,126 --> 00:55:44,418 Come on. 1041 00:55:45,253 --> 00:55:46,587 Call me! 1042 00:55:48,090 --> 00:55:49,840 - Excuse me. - That was a trick. 1043 00:55:49,925 --> 00:55:51,300 No more. 1044 00:55:51,426 --> 00:55:56,764 Gentlemen, you have a choice. Mamma Mia or Jersey Boys. 1045 00:56:00,102 --> 00:56:03,145 Fantastic! You're so unbelievable! 1046 00:56:07,650 --> 00:56:09,609 Damn it. He did it again. 1047 00:56:10,528 --> 00:56:12,821 - Excuse me. - No more tickets. 1048 00:56:12,947 --> 00:56:14,823 Mr. Ershon, I tried to keep them in the waiting room. 1049 00:56:14,949 --> 00:56:18,159 That's okay, Susan. Two Glacier waters with Mediterranean limes. 1050 00:56:18,285 --> 00:56:20,120 No, no, no. No more water. We're not here for that. 1051 00:56:20,204 --> 00:56:22,247 No, I was very much looking forward to having a water. 1052 00:56:22,331 --> 00:56:26,793 - How great is Jersey Boys? - It's not great. It's fantastic! 1053 00:56:26,877 --> 00:56:30,213 You totally undersold it. The pageantry, the costumes. 1054 00:56:30,297 --> 00:56:31,923 Wow, what a musical. 1055 00:56:32,007 --> 00:56:33,883 Hey. Get over here. 1056 00:56:35,010 --> 00:56:36,177 - What's wrong with you? - What? 1057 00:56:36,303 --> 00:56:37,804 That's not what we're here for. 1058 00:56:38,681 --> 00:56:40,807 We're gonna do good cop, bad cop. Okay? 1059 00:56:41,058 --> 00:56:44,102 It's the oldest game in the book for a reason, it works. 1060 00:56:44,186 --> 00:56:45,520 I come strong, then you come in. 1061 00:56:45,646 --> 00:56:46,688 - You got it? - Yeah. 1062 00:56:46,814 --> 00:56:49,441 - I come strong, then you come in. - Right. Got it. 1063 00:56:49,525 --> 00:56:51,484 Now you listen to me, you piece of shit. 1064 00:56:51,694 --> 00:56:54,279 It's just you and me, and I'm gonna rip you apart! 1065 00:56:54,363 --> 00:56:58,575 How did you cover your losses up? What drug cartel are you working with now? 1066 00:56:58,659 --> 00:57:02,579 - Okay, I'll talk to you, you're reasonable! - No, no, look at me! 1067 00:57:02,663 --> 00:57:05,123 You wanna talk to me? You wanna talk to me? 1068 00:57:05,207 --> 00:57:08,710 Allen, what are you doing? What are you doing? Allen! 1069 00:57:09,545 --> 00:57:11,838 I'm gonna make you eat a plate of human shit! 1070 00:57:12,506 --> 00:57:14,257 Get away from me! 1071 00:57:19,013 --> 00:57:20,430 Where is he? 1072 00:57:22,516 --> 00:57:25,059 Look, I'm really sorry about that. 1073 00:57:25,895 --> 00:57:28,438 I saw how aggressive you were being, and I thought, 1074 00:57:28,522 --> 00:57:32,150 "Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that, since we're doing bad cop, bad cop." 1075 00:57:32,234 --> 00:57:37,322 What? No, I said, "Good cop, bad cop." I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop. 1076 00:57:37,406 --> 00:57:41,868 Okay, then there it is. That's it. I thought you said, "Bad cop, bad cop." 1077 00:57:42,202 --> 00:57:45,579 Well, while you were going crazy, look what I snagged from his desk. 1078 00:57:45,705 --> 00:57:47,748 - Think it's his phone sheet. - Nice. 1079 00:57:48,082 --> 00:57:49,791 Seven calls to the lottery office. 1080 00:57:50,126 --> 00:57:51,710 That could be the evidence we need for Mauch. 1081 00:57:54,422 --> 00:57:57,299 - Get back. Colombian drug lords. - Where are you getting that from? 1082 00:57:59,093 --> 00:58:00,302 Jesus! 1083 00:58:09,103 --> 00:58:11,563 Can you imagine where you'd be in your career if you hadn't shot Jeter? 1084 00:58:19,405 --> 00:58:22,699 - We call this in, right? - Looks like we got all the evidence we need. 1085 00:58:22,784 --> 00:58:24,910 I'm sorry, my butterfly. 1086 00:58:26,246 --> 00:58:29,164 We'll load them up, send them back to go. 1087 00:58:37,924 --> 00:58:41,218 - Holy shit. - What? 1088 00:58:41,302 --> 00:58:44,012 What do you mean, what? Where are we? 1089 00:58:45,431 --> 00:58:46,807 We're in the high desert. 1090 00:58:46,933 --> 00:58:50,644 They took my shoes again, man! What the hell is it with taking shoes? 1091 00:58:50,770 --> 00:58:52,271 - They took your wooden gun? - Yeah. 1092 00:58:58,820 --> 00:59:01,071 - Hello? - Hello, Gene? I mean, Captain. 1093 00:59:01,155 --> 00:59:02,573 Captain, it's Allen Gamble. 1094 00:59:02,657 --> 00:59:04,491 Yeah, yeah. Where are you? What's going on? 1095 00:59:04,617 --> 00:59:06,868 Captain, it's a long story, but I'm just gonna cut to the chase. 1096 00:59:06,953 --> 00:59:08,912 We are in Las Vegas, all right? 1097 00:59:08,997 --> 00:59:12,374 We were kidnapped, put on a freight train, and shipped out here. 1098 00:59:12,458 --> 00:59:14,876 Let me just stop you right there. Don't bullshit me. 1099 00:59:14,961 --> 00:59:16,336 Captain, I am being straight with you. 1100 00:59:16,461 --> 00:59:18,754 Look, we think something's going on, okay? 1101 00:59:18,839 --> 00:59:21,716 We think Ershon is targeting the lottery to cover his losses. 1102 00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:27,221 Wait. How many times did I explicitly say to you, "Lay off Ershon"? 1103 00:59:27,723 --> 00:59:29,015 Terry, Captain wants to know 1104 00:59:29,141 --> 00:59:31,017 how many times has he asked us to lay off Ershon. 1105 00:59:31,143 --> 00:59:32,184 Twice. 1106 00:59:33,020 --> 00:59:34,812 Twice. Terry says twice. I agree. 1107 00:59:34,896 --> 00:59:36,981 I'm hanging up. I'm done. 1108 00:59:41,236 --> 00:59:45,823 I gotta tell you, I started getting a hand for that, a taste for that Pai Gow. 1109 00:59:46,491 --> 00:59:51,078 Martin and Fosse, super cops, in three, two... 1110 00:59:51,163 --> 00:59:57,043 So, we busted that junkie. Got back 74 thou in diamonds. 74 thou. 1111 00:59:58,170 --> 00:59:59,587 Solved the Castien case. 1112 00:59:59,671 --> 01:00:02,465 $74,000? That's all they took? 1113 01:00:02,549 --> 01:00:04,800 There's millions of dollars of diamonds in that place. 1114 01:00:04,885 --> 01:00:07,053 How about this, Gamble? How about you shut your face? 1115 01:00:07,179 --> 01:00:08,721 All right? Just shut it. 1116 01:00:08,847 --> 01:00:10,431 Hoitz, Gamble, Captain's looking for you. 1117 01:00:13,393 --> 01:00:15,645 I know it's off the subject, but is Kevlar copyrighted? 1118 01:00:15,729 --> 01:00:17,021 - Captain? - Yeah. 1119 01:00:17,105 --> 01:00:19,607 - Is it a bad time? - No, come on. Come on. 1120 01:00:20,025 --> 01:00:21,817 - Not me, right? - Yeah, and you. 1121 01:00:21,902 --> 01:00:25,613 Fellows, I'm sure you're familiar with the venerable DA Radford. 1122 01:00:25,697 --> 01:00:27,365 He wanted to come down and pay us a visit. 1123 01:00:27,449 --> 01:00:28,699 Hello, gentlemen. 1124 01:00:28,784 --> 01:00:29,909 - Hello, sir. - Hey. 1125 01:00:30,035 --> 01:00:33,371 - You know, I was talking to Gene here. - He prefers "Captain." 1126 01:00:33,455 --> 01:00:36,957 Yes, I was talking to Gene here, and, you know, it's funny. 1127 01:00:37,250 --> 01:00:39,502 I don't know what you two have been up to, 1128 01:00:39,586 --> 01:00:42,963 but I've been getting calls from people I don't ever get calls from. 1129 01:00:43,048 --> 01:00:45,966 In 40 years of enforcing the law, I've learned one thing. 1130 01:00:46,593 --> 01:00:48,302 When that happens, stop. 1131 01:00:49,888 --> 01:00:52,973 - Gene, how's the family? - Good, good, Louis, thanks for asking. 1132 01:00:53,057 --> 01:00:55,058 - My son's bisexual, so... - Tremendous. 1133 01:00:57,895 --> 01:00:59,396 Gentlemen, do we understand each other? 1134 01:01:00,731 --> 01:01:02,899 - Cut the crap! - Will do. 1135 01:01:07,238 --> 01:01:08,655 Guy never comes down here. 1136 01:01:08,739 --> 01:01:11,574 Twenty years, I think I've seen that guy in this building one time. 1137 01:01:11,659 --> 01:01:14,828 - He's a heavyweight cat, that guy. - He was sitting right here. 1138 01:01:15,246 --> 01:01:18,665 Yeah. I think you missed the point. Anyway, look. 1139 01:01:18,749 --> 01:01:22,168 Blue and white found your firearms down by the Hudson River. Here you go, Terry. 1140 01:01:23,838 --> 01:01:25,338 You know what? 1141 01:01:26,006 --> 01:01:27,966 I'm gonna hang on to the wooden gun. 1142 01:01:28,092 --> 01:01:29,926 - To give me back my real gun? - No. 1143 01:01:30,010 --> 01:01:32,095 'Cause I'm gonna give you this. 1144 01:01:32,805 --> 01:01:35,974 It's a rape whistle. You blow that if you run into any trouble 1145 01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:39,144 and someone with an actual gun will come and help you out. 1146 01:01:40,521 --> 01:01:45,191 We were abducted, Captain! This shit is real! Ershon's dirty. He's targeting the lottery! 1147 01:01:45,276 --> 01:01:50,155 Next, I want you guys to hand in all the evidence you think you have to the SEC. 1148 01:01:50,281 --> 01:01:52,073 The financial district's under their jurisdiction. 1149 01:01:52,158 --> 01:01:54,617 Don't you get it? This case is talking to us! 1150 01:01:54,702 --> 01:01:57,829 I'm a peacock, Captain! You gotta let me fly on this one! 1151 01:01:57,955 --> 01:02:00,790 You know what, Terry? Let's just settle this. Peacocks don't fly. 1152 01:02:00,875 --> 01:02:04,335 - They fly, they fly a little bit. - Yeah, about as much as a penguin. 1153 01:02:04,462 --> 01:02:08,047 One more thing, do me a favor, don't go chasing waterfalls. 1154 01:02:08,799 --> 01:02:11,301 Was that accidental, or were you trying to quote TLC on purpose? 1155 01:02:12,136 --> 01:02:13,219 I don't even understand the reference. 1156 01:02:13,804 --> 01:02:15,889 - You don't understand what you said? - I don't know what that is. 1157 01:02:15,973 --> 01:02:17,474 Get out. Go. 1158 01:02:28,152 --> 01:02:30,403 How did they get that story? 1159 01:02:31,988 --> 01:02:34,907 I'm tired of being treated like a jerk for trying to do the right thing. 1160 01:02:34,991 --> 01:02:36,074 Hey, guys. 1161 01:02:36,493 --> 01:02:40,329 There's a proxy vote for a big reinvestment of the pension coming up, 1162 01:02:40,413 --> 01:02:43,290 - so if you just wanna come by the old... - Damn it, Bob! 1163 01:02:43,374 --> 01:02:44,458 Let me ask you something. 1164 01:02:44,542 --> 01:02:46,960 What do you even do around here besides interrupt people? 1165 01:02:47,045 --> 01:02:50,047 Well, I serve as treasurer to the union. 1166 01:02:50,173 --> 01:02:52,966 I make a wicked pot of decaf. 1167 01:02:53,051 --> 01:02:56,345 Exactly! You're a worthless piece of shit! 1168 01:02:58,223 --> 01:03:01,892 Probably right, Terry. That's why I feel so sad all the time. 1169 01:03:02,644 --> 01:03:04,478 I'm gonna go for a walk. 1170 01:03:04,562 --> 01:03:05,812 - Bob! - Say something. 1171 01:03:05,939 --> 01:03:07,814 Come on! Bob! 1172 01:03:07,899 --> 01:03:10,817 I didn't mean it, all right? I'm upset. 1173 01:03:28,628 --> 01:03:33,715 Actually, we don't do that here. This is an installation art piece. 1174 01:03:34,092 --> 01:03:36,176 - This coffee table? - Yes. We don't put drinks on it. 1175 01:03:39,973 --> 01:03:42,641 - Five hundred thousand? - He can read! Congratulations. 1176 01:03:43,101 --> 01:03:45,269 - What? - I'm sorry, are you in the right place? 1177 01:03:45,353 --> 01:03:47,646 Or not? I'm... 1178 01:03:48,856 --> 01:03:50,023 - Terry. - Does he... Okay. 1179 01:03:50,108 --> 01:03:53,360 - Well... - Sorry. Terry! What are you doing here? 1180 01:03:54,612 --> 01:03:58,991 - I want to be with you. - No, Terry, that's not gonna happen. 1181 01:03:59,367 --> 01:04:01,994 You know where you belong. On top of me in the Poconos. 1182 01:04:02,829 --> 01:04:04,871 Instead, you're here selling dirty coffee tables? 1183 01:04:05,039 --> 01:04:06,582 I mean, look at this. This is nonsense! 1184 01:04:06,665 --> 01:04:09,083 Terry, this is an original Haverfield-Jameson. 1185 01:04:09,459 --> 01:04:13,671 The chaos of the coffee table? It represents our fractured egos. 1186 01:04:14,131 --> 01:04:16,132 You think I don't know about this artsy-fartsy crap? 1187 01:04:16,508 --> 01:04:20,970 This coffee table isn't the ego. It represents our shattered sense of community 1188 01:04:21,305 --> 01:04:23,055 in the face of capitalist-driven isolation. 1189 01:04:23,390 --> 01:04:25,933 Looks like the work of Cindy Sherman or Frank Stella. 1190 01:04:26,602 --> 01:04:27,893 How did you know that, Terry? 1191 01:04:28,395 --> 01:04:29,770 I took some classes at RISD 1192 01:04:29,855 --> 01:04:32,148 so I could make fun of these lame artsy douches in my neighborhood. 1193 01:04:32,232 --> 01:04:34,650 - Terry, lower your voice! - I don't have to lower my voice. 1194 01:04:34,735 --> 01:04:37,528 - Is this man bothering you? - Are you actually having sex with this creep? 1195 01:04:37,863 --> 01:04:39,697 Terry, he's gay. Okay? 1196 01:04:40,949 --> 01:04:43,618 He's even wearing a T-shirt that says, "I'm gay"! 1197 01:04:43,910 --> 01:04:45,745 All right? And also, he is my boss. 1198 01:04:46,079 --> 01:04:47,246 Happy for you, man. Good. 1199 01:04:47,331 --> 01:04:49,206 Can you get out of here now? I'm talking to my lady. 1200 01:04:49,416 --> 01:04:52,752 Mr. Reger, everything is fine. Terry is actually leaving now. 1201 01:04:53,170 --> 01:04:55,254 Nice toot, sailor. Jesus. 1202 01:04:56,465 --> 01:04:58,424 Terry, what are you doing? 1203 01:04:58,925 --> 01:05:02,303 Look, I waited three years for you to be more than a cop, okay? 1204 01:05:02,638 --> 01:05:03,888 Just give me one more year. 1205 01:05:04,306 --> 01:05:06,724 Terry, you don't get another year. I'm done. 1206 01:05:07,225 --> 01:05:08,267 Fine. 1207 01:05:08,769 --> 01:05:11,937 - Terry, don't touch that! Terry! - Oh, my God! 1208 01:05:12,272 --> 01:05:14,231 I don't need this shit. I don't need you! 1209 01:05:15,233 --> 01:05:17,318 And when you call me, I'm not coming back! 1210 01:05:18,612 --> 01:05:21,656 - Oh, boy! Over the top! - How outre! 1211 01:05:22,032 --> 01:05:24,158 I'll burn this bitch down to the ground! 1212 01:05:25,452 --> 01:05:27,787 - Fresh! Energetic! - I love his rawness! 1213 01:05:28,163 --> 01:05:31,707 Stop critiquing me, okay? I'm a human being! I'm not a piece of art! 1214 01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:33,834 - Yes, you are. - Bravo! 1215 01:05:34,169 --> 01:05:36,879 I'm a peacock flying into a rainbow! 1216 01:05:37,547 --> 01:05:39,632 Yes! Yes! 1217 01:05:49,266 --> 01:05:51,851 These braised short ribs taste like a dog's asshole. 1218 01:05:51,977 --> 01:05:53,645 - Sweetie. - You know what, I'm sitting here thinking, 1219 01:05:53,771 --> 01:05:56,898 "Who in the world would slow roast a dog's asshole 1220 01:05:56,982 --> 01:05:58,942 "and serve it to their husband?" 1221 01:05:59,026 --> 01:06:02,445 - You would. - You are being awful. What's wrong? 1222 01:06:02,530 --> 01:06:07,283 - Captain took us off the case. - I'm sorry. 1223 01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:12,956 I told Terry about my dark days in college, and it brought up some feelings. 1224 01:06:13,374 --> 01:06:18,586 Well, honey dick, that was a long time ago. You're not that same person you were. 1225 01:06:18,713 --> 01:06:22,132 No, you don't get it. There is a darkness inside of me. 1226 01:06:22,258 --> 01:06:25,218 It wants to get out. It wants to walk around. 1227 01:06:25,302 --> 01:06:28,430 It wants some walking around money, and it wants to buy some shoes. 1228 01:06:28,556 --> 01:06:33,101 And it wants to walk up with the people and say, "Hey, Gator don't play no shit." 1229 01:06:33,436 --> 01:06:34,769 - You feel me? - Yeah. 1230 01:06:34,895 --> 01:06:38,940 Gator never been about that, never been about playing no shit. 1231 01:06:41,986 --> 01:06:43,987 - Sweetie, I'm sorry. - It's okay. 1232 01:06:44,613 --> 01:06:47,991 - I just... - Remember that night we met? 1233 01:06:48,784 --> 01:06:53,455 The attending physician told me, "We got a drugged-out pimp in the back." 1234 01:06:54,165 --> 01:06:57,584 And I went back there, and I pulled open that curtain, 1235 01:06:57,668 --> 01:06:59,252 and I saw you. 1236 01:06:59,962 --> 01:07:02,839 You were weak, scared, 1237 01:07:02,965 --> 01:07:07,051 ass up, inflamed, crying. 1238 01:07:07,136 --> 01:07:12,307 At that moment, I knew. "Hey, he's no pimp. Pimps don't cry." 1239 01:07:13,267 --> 01:07:21,566 Pimps don't cry 1240 01:07:21,649 --> 01:07:24,610 No, they don't 1241 01:07:24,986 --> 01:07:27,946 They don't shed a tear 1242 01:07:28,656 --> 01:07:33,994 Pimps don't cry 1243 01:07:34,204 --> 01:07:36,163 They never shed a tear 1244 01:07:41,002 --> 01:07:44,463 Come lay with me. Be safe, and let's make love. Come on. 1245 01:07:44,547 --> 01:07:46,965 Every time you say, "Be safe," it tears me apart. 1246 01:07:47,050 --> 01:07:49,676 You gotta let me be who I'm gonna be. 1247 01:07:51,221 --> 01:07:53,722 Allen, I'm pregnant. 1248 01:07:54,641 --> 01:07:55,974 Whose baby is that? 1249 01:07:56,059 --> 01:07:59,520 Who's the man who did that to you? Gator's bitches better be using jimmies! 1250 01:08:01,356 --> 01:08:04,441 I'm sorry. See, that's what I'm talking about. 1251 01:08:04,526 --> 01:08:06,193 Oh, my God. 1252 01:08:08,029 --> 01:08:09,446 You need to leave. 1253 01:08:09,531 --> 01:08:13,200 Get out! Get out, Allen! Get out! 1254 01:08:29,926 --> 01:08:31,051 Hey. 1255 01:08:32,095 --> 01:08:34,680 Hey. What are you doing here? 1256 01:08:37,100 --> 01:08:42,187 Come here when I have lady troubles, which means I come here about every night. 1257 01:08:42,272 --> 01:08:44,356 What are you doing here? 1258 01:08:45,525 --> 01:08:48,026 Sheila and I got into it tonight. 1259 01:08:48,903 --> 01:08:51,196 She threw me out. 1260 01:08:52,240 --> 01:08:55,242 Well, you're not a cop till your wife throws you out of the house, partner. 1261 01:08:55,367 --> 01:08:59,203 Does it bother you that the Castien robbers only took 74 grand in diamonds? 1262 01:08:59,538 --> 01:09:01,956 They're junkies. Who cares? I mean... 1263 01:09:02,082 --> 01:09:05,835 I don't know if a junkie can go down a 20-story zipline, though. 1264 01:09:05,919 --> 01:09:06,961 How you fellas doing? 1265 01:09:08,505 --> 01:09:11,674 We're about to have us a little screw party in this red Prius over here 1266 01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:13,009 if you wanna join us. 1267 01:09:13,093 --> 01:09:15,177 You're not going anywhere near that Prius, okay? 1268 01:09:15,512 --> 01:09:18,347 Here's what we're talking about. We're talking about a bunch of hobos 1269 01:09:18,807 --> 01:09:20,725 with fingers in each other's pooper 1270 01:09:20,809 --> 01:09:23,603 in a stranger's car with talk radio playing really loud. 1271 01:09:23,687 --> 01:09:24,854 It's gonna be a nice evening. 1272 01:09:25,188 --> 01:09:27,523 Well, we're not participating in that. We have no interest. 1273 01:09:27,691 --> 01:09:28,816 Let me rephrase it. 1274 01:09:29,192 --> 01:09:32,028 We got a jar of old mustard, and we got a poodle, 1275 01:09:32,237 --> 01:09:35,406 and we're just get in there and we're gonna put some D's in some A's. 1276 01:09:35,741 --> 01:09:37,575 Hey, are you Dirty Mike and the boys? 1277 01:09:37,659 --> 01:09:40,202 - How do you know who we are? - You left a note in that car. 1278 01:09:40,287 --> 01:09:42,872 - Police, shithead. - He's a copper. We gotta go. Come on! 1279 01:09:42,956 --> 01:09:44,790 Hey! Goose it, boys! They're cops! 1280 01:09:45,250 --> 01:09:47,001 Rub your dicks on the car as you're running away! 1281 01:09:47,085 --> 01:09:49,420 You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare! 1282 01:09:49,546 --> 01:09:53,215 We are gonna have sex in your car! It will happen again! 1283 01:09:55,344 --> 01:09:57,011 I don't know where I'm gonna sleep tonight. 1284 01:09:57,095 --> 01:09:58,888 Fortunately, I know where you're gonna be drinking. 1285 01:09:59,014 --> 01:10:01,265 Jack of All Trades. Drinks on me. Come on. 1286 01:10:01,850 --> 01:10:03,517 - No, I already have a beer. - No, no, no, no. 1287 01:10:03,852 --> 01:10:06,187 I'm talking about doing some serious drinking. 1288 01:10:06,313 --> 01:10:07,647 Drinking with Terry Hoitz. 1289 01:10:56,529 --> 01:10:58,363 This sucks, man. Work our ass off on this case, 1290 01:10:58,447 --> 01:11:00,031 now we gotta hand over all of our evidence? 1291 01:11:00,116 --> 01:11:01,366 Yeah, it's not right. 1292 01:11:01,450 --> 01:11:03,535 Oh, my God, I'm hungover. 1293 01:11:05,913 --> 01:11:07,080 So, you guys are law enforcement? 1294 01:11:07,415 --> 01:11:09,290 Yeah, we're an independent government agency who, 1295 01:11:09,417 --> 01:11:11,251 along with the FBI and the Federal Reserve, 1296 01:11:11,377 --> 01:11:13,545 regulate the stock market and corporate fraud. 1297 01:11:13,879 --> 01:11:16,464 And the Federal Reserve is a prison? 1298 01:11:16,757 --> 01:11:19,467 No, basically, it's a held-for-profit bank that sets interest rates 1299 01:11:19,593 --> 01:11:20,969 and loans money to other banks. 1300 01:11:21,554 --> 01:11:23,722 - Is that a wastebasket? - Yeah, right there. 1301 01:11:23,806 --> 01:11:25,223 Thank you. 1302 01:11:26,934 --> 01:11:30,270 - You all right? - Holy hell! 1303 01:11:31,897 --> 01:11:33,606 I'm so sorry. 1304 01:11:34,150 --> 01:11:35,525 I got so drunk last night. 1305 01:11:35,609 --> 01:11:39,487 I think I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. 1306 01:11:40,614 --> 01:11:42,407 Come on in, fellas. 1307 01:11:43,451 --> 01:11:45,660 You gotta be kidding me. You're Ershon's lawyer. 1308 01:11:45,786 --> 01:11:47,495 We're turning over our investigation to you? 1309 01:11:47,955 --> 01:11:50,165 Let me assure you there will be no conflict of interest 1310 01:11:50,291 --> 01:11:51,708 between me and David Ershon. 1311 01:11:51,792 --> 01:11:55,920 And if this were an actual investigation, I would immediately recuse myself. 1312 01:11:56,005 --> 01:12:00,258 This is all the evidence we have, and I truly hope you take this seriously. 1313 01:12:00,342 --> 01:12:01,634 Yes. Very much so. 1314 01:12:01,761 --> 01:12:03,470 From everything I've heard, I understand 1315 01:12:03,596 --> 01:12:06,806 you guys are the best at these types of investigations. 1316 01:12:06,932 --> 01:12:09,642 Outside of Enron and AIG 1317 01:12:09,768 --> 01:12:11,185 and Bernie Madoff, 1318 01:12:11,811 --> 01:12:14,521 WorldCom, Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers. 1319 01:12:14,647 --> 01:12:16,482 Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Detective. 1320 01:12:16,608 --> 01:12:18,358 - Would you like a seat, or you're fine? - No, I'm good. 1321 01:12:18,485 --> 01:12:20,110 Okay. Let me just assure you fellas, 1322 01:12:20,528 --> 01:12:23,030 David Ershon is an upstanding citizen. 1323 01:12:23,823 --> 01:12:25,532 I am playing squash with him tonight at the club, 1324 01:12:25,658 --> 01:12:26,742 and we're having dinner. 1325 01:12:26,826 --> 01:12:29,119 You listen to me, you Windsor knot-wearing monkey, 1326 01:12:29,204 --> 01:12:31,288 you play squash with Ershon, right? 1327 01:12:31,372 --> 01:12:34,625 Your kids go to school with his? How would you know if he's clean or not? 1328 01:12:34,709 --> 01:12:36,376 I will take a look at your evidence, 1329 01:12:36,503 --> 01:12:37,669 and I will take a second look at the financials. 1330 01:12:38,379 --> 01:12:40,464 And when I come back and bust your ass, 1331 01:12:40,548 --> 01:12:43,050 we're locking David Ershon in the Federal Reserve! 1332 01:12:43,176 --> 01:12:44,635 He still doesn't understand the concept. 1333 01:13:05,990 --> 01:13:07,366 What are you doing? 1334 01:13:08,076 --> 01:13:11,370 We just handed all of our evidence over to the bad guy's lawyer! 1335 01:13:11,454 --> 01:13:13,705 Are you a big man, huh? 1336 01:13:13,790 --> 01:13:15,249 - I'm talking to you. - What? 1337 01:13:15,416 --> 01:13:18,168 You wake up in the morning, you say, "I'm putting on my big boy pants"? 1338 01:13:18,253 --> 01:13:19,503 "Look, I'm wearing a belt! 1339 01:13:19,587 --> 01:13:21,755 - "I've got big boy pants on!" - No! 1340 01:13:21,965 --> 01:13:23,757 You borrow a little jacket, you go? 1341 01:13:23,925 --> 01:13:26,009 You take your lunch 'cause you got big boy pants on? 1342 01:13:26,511 --> 01:13:28,345 You got your big boy pants and your snack? 1343 01:13:29,097 --> 01:13:30,764 I could say big, loud things! 1344 01:13:31,266 --> 01:13:32,641 I could be demonstrative! 1345 01:13:32,976 --> 01:13:34,893 - Stop! - We don't, we don't do this! 1346 01:13:34,978 --> 01:13:37,104 You're scaring the shit out of me, man! Stop it! 1347 01:13:37,188 --> 01:13:40,399 Is this how you conduct yourself? In a democracy? 1348 01:13:40,483 --> 01:13:42,150 What the hell are you doing, man? 1349 01:13:42,610 --> 01:13:46,989 I'm so tired of you getting angry and yelling all the time. 1350 01:13:47,906 --> 01:13:49,574 It's exhausting. 1351 01:13:51,702 --> 01:13:53,578 I feel like I'm partners with the Hulk. 1352 01:13:53,954 --> 01:13:56,414 You wanna know why I'm so angry all the time? 1353 01:13:56,498 --> 01:13:59,876 'Cause the more I try and do right, the more I screw things up. 1354 01:14:00,627 --> 01:14:05,631 We've got a possible jumper at 3 World Financial Center, 23rd floor. 1355 01:14:05,716 --> 01:14:07,967 All units, fire department, en route. 1356 01:14:08,051 --> 01:14:10,386 - SEC. - Beaman's office. 1357 01:14:10,512 --> 01:14:11,888 We have to go. 1358 01:14:12,139 --> 01:14:13,848 - But the Captain. - We have to go, Allen. 1359 01:14:13,974 --> 01:14:18,686 All units, I need a respondent. Possible jumper, 3 World Financial Center. 1360 01:14:29,823 --> 01:14:32,033 Shit. It's Beaman! 1361 01:14:32,826 --> 01:14:35,661 - He's gotta know something. - Wesley! 1362 01:14:35,871 --> 01:14:37,705 Detective Hoitz and Gamble. We got this. 1363 01:14:38,206 --> 01:14:40,249 I took an online class at University of Phoenix on negotiating. 1364 01:14:40,876 --> 01:14:43,002 I'm gonna need a priest and a bullhorn. 1365 01:14:43,086 --> 01:14:45,463 - I got no bullhorn. - Does anyone have a bullhorn? 1366 01:14:45,547 --> 01:14:47,757 - Bullhorn, anyone? - Truck. 1367 01:14:48,842 --> 01:14:50,801 Police business. I need to use your PA system. 1368 01:14:50,886 --> 01:14:52,178 Okay, let me turn it on. 1369 01:14:54,056 --> 01:14:56,891 Mr. Beaman? Mr. Don Beaman? 1370 01:14:57,017 --> 01:15:00,186 It's Wesley. I know Ershon's Wesley's... 1371 01:15:00,270 --> 01:15:03,105 Look, there's a lot to live for in this life. 1372 01:15:03,231 --> 01:15:08,235 A lot of great things, like soda pop, big fresh can of soda pop. 1373 01:15:08,362 --> 01:15:09,695 They do not care! 1374 01:15:09,780 --> 01:15:12,073 Give me this. I know how to talk to him. 1375 01:15:12,199 --> 01:15:15,826 Listen, we all know you're a scumbag, and nobody cares about you. 1376 01:15:15,911 --> 01:15:17,244 Rotten piece of shit. 1377 01:15:17,371 --> 01:15:19,288 That's worse than what I was saying. 1378 01:15:19,748 --> 01:15:21,290 I'm not gonna lie to you, Don. 1379 01:15:21,415 --> 01:15:25,126 People down here are starting to murmur that you don't have the balls to do it. 1380 01:15:25,544 --> 01:15:27,545 - I don't care! - Yeah. 1381 01:15:27,630 --> 01:15:29,965 I say you can do it. 1382 01:15:30,758 --> 01:15:34,761 I mean, I don't want you to jump. I'm just saying you have the capability. 1383 01:15:35,304 --> 01:15:36,429 Look, he's flying! 1384 01:15:42,103 --> 01:15:43,395 Stop that. 1385 01:15:44,105 --> 01:15:45,981 Half empty bottle of gin. Chair knocked over. 1386 01:15:46,107 --> 01:15:49,109 Look at this, it's a clear sign of a struggle. Make sure you get this, all right? 1387 01:15:49,944 --> 01:15:52,779 Detectives, all your work's done here. You can go. 1388 01:15:52,905 --> 01:15:54,447 What about Ershon targeting the lottery? 1389 01:15:54,573 --> 01:15:58,702 You know why Ershon was calling down to the lottery offices all those times? 1390 01:15:58,786 --> 01:16:00,787 Because he was hooking up with the Powerball girl, 1391 01:16:00,913 --> 01:16:03,164 the one on TV with all the numbered balls. 1392 01:16:03,290 --> 01:16:05,458 Yeah. She filed a restraining order on him last week. 1393 01:16:05,960 --> 01:16:07,752 It was right there in front of you the whole time. 1394 01:16:07,837 --> 01:16:09,796 - Can't be. - You guys are getting transferred. 1395 01:16:09,922 --> 01:16:12,007 - What? - Traffic. 1396 01:16:12,133 --> 01:16:13,216 Yeah, that's right. 1397 01:16:13,300 --> 01:16:16,970 You, you're gonna walk a beat downtown. You're gonna walk a beat downtown. 1398 01:16:17,096 --> 01:16:19,389 - It's done. No, no. It's done. - Captain, what are you talking about? 1399 01:16:19,473 --> 01:16:21,349 - Save yourselves some gas. - Captain! 1400 01:16:21,934 --> 01:16:23,268 Is there an appeal process we can... 1401 01:16:23,352 --> 01:16:26,521 Had to do what you had to do, Captain. 1402 01:16:26,647 --> 01:16:28,815 Wow! That hurt. 1403 01:16:30,985 --> 01:16:33,111 - Excuse me. Where's my car? - They towed it. 1404 01:16:33,195 --> 01:16:35,655 Couple of homeless people were messing around in it. 1405 01:16:35,781 --> 01:16:39,451 - That's an official police car. - Could have fooled me. 1406 01:16:44,540 --> 01:16:45,832 Wow, Mauch was upset, huh? 1407 01:16:46,375 --> 01:16:47,542 Really? 1408 01:16:47,668 --> 01:16:50,003 The only thing I had to be proud of in my life was being a detective. 1409 01:16:50,129 --> 01:16:52,672 That was all I had. Now it's gone. 1410 01:16:53,382 --> 01:16:55,884 I know. I know. You still got me. 1411 01:16:56,010 --> 01:16:59,512 Don't you get it? I don't want you, Allen, okay? I never did. 1412 01:16:59,637 --> 01:17:01,847 I told you that scaffolding violation was dogshit. 1413 01:17:02,182 --> 01:17:04,266 I can't believe you still doubt me after everything we've seen. 1414 01:17:04,350 --> 01:17:08,896 It's a real case, and I'm a real cop. We just got the wrong target for Ershon. 1415 01:17:09,022 --> 01:17:11,231 - You carry a rape whistle. - This is real cop work. 1416 01:17:11,357 --> 01:17:14,151 There is nothing about you that makes a man a man, okay? 1417 01:17:14,235 --> 01:17:17,654 You got no gun, no car, no wife, and now you got no partner. 1418 01:17:17,739 --> 01:17:19,364 Leave me alone. 1419 01:17:19,991 --> 01:17:21,450 A mutt case. 1420 01:17:21,534 --> 01:17:24,078 Terry, I am a cop, for your information, okay? 1421 01:17:24,204 --> 01:17:26,330 A broken partnership. 1422 01:17:26,414 --> 01:17:27,539 I'm a cop! 1423 01:17:27,665 --> 01:17:31,293 And getting busted down to a shitty assignment. 1424 01:17:31,377 --> 01:17:34,505 Allen and Terry hit the trifecta. 1425 01:17:37,217 --> 01:17:40,344 But sometimes when you get your ass kicked, 1426 01:17:41,554 --> 01:17:44,223 that's when you find out what's real... 1427 01:17:46,559 --> 01:17:48,602 ... and what needs doing. 1428 01:17:54,567 --> 01:17:56,610 Whether it's directing traffic... 1429 01:17:56,736 --> 01:17:57,736 Come on! 1430 01:17:58,238 --> 01:18:01,698 ... or cracking a multibillion dollar fraud. 1431 01:18:13,128 --> 01:18:15,212 - Do you work here? - Yeah, I do. 1432 01:18:15,296 --> 01:18:18,132 The wrecking ball that crashed into Castien down there. 1433 01:18:18,258 --> 01:18:19,800 They also did damage to your office? 1434 01:18:19,926 --> 01:18:22,427 Some police officers came by and sealed it off. 1435 01:18:22,554 --> 01:18:23,846 Do you recall what they looked like? 1436 01:18:23,930 --> 01:18:26,640 One of them had an Australian accent. 1437 01:18:27,225 --> 01:18:30,978 You don't happen to do any business for the state lottery, do you? 1438 01:18:31,104 --> 01:18:34,439 No. Our main client is Lendl Global. 1439 01:18:34,565 --> 01:18:36,149 Can I ask what this is about? 1440 01:18:49,621 --> 01:18:51,831 Gator needs his gat, you punkass bitch! 1441 01:19:01,258 --> 01:19:03,301 'Cause that's what a real cop is. 1442 01:19:03,427 --> 01:19:05,887 No, I didn't say "Lock her up." I never said, "Lock her up." 1443 01:19:05,971 --> 01:19:08,764 A guy who does what needs to be done. 1444 01:19:08,849 --> 01:19:12,810 A guy who knows how to use his dark side for good. 1445 01:19:12,936 --> 01:19:14,520 And then you move to Florida. 1446 01:19:23,822 --> 01:19:24,989 One, two, three, attack! 1447 01:19:27,659 --> 01:19:28,868 Terry, it's me. 1448 01:19:28,994 --> 01:19:31,204 - Tap out. Tap out. - It's me, Allen. 1449 01:19:31,330 --> 01:19:32,872 Are you tapping out, or are you hitting me in the face? 1450 01:19:32,998 --> 01:19:34,665 I'm tapping you out! 1451 01:19:35,500 --> 01:19:38,544 You crazy? What are you doing, man? 1452 01:19:38,670 --> 01:19:40,087 - They might be watching us. - Could've killed you. 1453 01:19:40,172 --> 01:19:41,297 - Turn out the lights. - What? 1454 01:19:41,381 --> 01:19:42,506 - They could be watching us. - Who? 1455 01:19:42,841 --> 01:19:45,343 I found some big information, okay? 1456 01:19:45,469 --> 01:19:48,554 - About what? - Some scary shit, Terry. This is big. 1457 01:19:48,847 --> 01:19:51,641 How'd you get in here? This place is foolproof. 1458 01:19:51,725 --> 01:19:54,185 - We can't be too careful. - What are you talking about? 1459 01:19:54,311 --> 01:19:57,480 - This place might be bugged. - There's no bugs in here. 1460 01:20:01,693 --> 01:20:04,695 First off, I missed you. 1461 01:20:04,821 --> 01:20:07,573 - What's going on? - Did you hear what I said? 1462 01:20:07,699 --> 01:20:11,661 - Fine, I kind of missed you, too. - Thank you. 1463 01:20:11,744 --> 01:20:16,039 Okay. I found out whose losses Ershon has to cover. 1464 01:20:16,165 --> 01:20:18,416 - It's Lendl Global. - What? 1465 01:20:18,542 --> 01:20:21,044 Lendl staged the Castien robbery as a distraction 1466 01:20:21,170 --> 01:20:24,130 so they could break into their own accounting firm next door. 1467 01:20:24,215 --> 01:20:27,425 They then altered all the records to cover the losses 1468 01:20:27,551 --> 01:20:30,345 that Ershon had cost them through all of his bad investments. 1469 01:20:30,554 --> 01:20:33,848 You're not supposed to be doing this. You're supposed to be walking the beat. 1470 01:20:33,933 --> 01:20:36,559 I know. Pretty tricky, though, huh? 1471 01:20:37,061 --> 01:20:39,062 This is bad, Allen. This is bad. 1472 01:20:39,188 --> 01:20:41,606 No wonder the captain wanted us to stay out of this. 1473 01:20:41,732 --> 01:20:43,817 Yeah, I bet Beaman started asking questions. 1474 01:20:43,901 --> 01:20:45,860 - That's why they killed him. - Man. 1475 01:20:45,945 --> 01:20:47,112 Here's the other thing. 1476 01:20:47,238 --> 01:20:49,239 Tomorrow, there's a massive business deal going down. 1477 01:20:49,407 --> 01:20:50,782 Ershon's leading it. 1478 01:20:50,908 --> 01:20:53,743 I still can't figure out who the poor sucker is they're making the deal with, 1479 01:20:53,869 --> 01:20:54,995 but we gotta stop it. 1480 01:20:55,079 --> 01:20:56,746 It's time to let the peacock fly. 1481 01:20:57,790 --> 01:20:59,708 I'm not going, Allen. I like what I do. 1482 01:21:00,084 --> 01:21:02,210 So do I. We're cops. 1483 01:21:02,295 --> 01:21:06,840 No. I like what I do now. I like working traffic. It's a great gig. 1484 01:21:06,924 --> 01:21:07,966 What? 1485 01:21:08,592 --> 01:21:12,345 I like working traffic. I'm not going with you. 1486 01:21:12,430 --> 01:21:14,931 What is this traffic bullshit? 1487 01:21:18,769 --> 01:21:22,272 - What are you talking about? - I'm talking about my life. 1488 01:21:22,398 --> 01:21:25,066 The corner I run on 54th and 3rd Avenue? It hums. 1489 01:21:25,151 --> 01:21:28,862 It's Terry's intersection. And the traffic guys? They're good guys. 1490 01:21:28,946 --> 01:21:31,990 There's this one guy, Phillip? He can pee in the urinal from 20 feet. 1491 01:21:32,116 --> 01:21:33,241 You've gotta see it, Allen. You've got to. 1492 01:21:33,326 --> 01:21:35,952 What happened to you? What happened to this being our time? 1493 01:21:36,287 --> 01:21:38,455 No way, Allen. I'm out. I'm done. 1494 01:21:39,665 --> 01:21:42,584 - Get in the car. - Come on, Allen. We both know it's wooden. 1495 01:21:44,128 --> 01:21:47,922 - Apartment pop. Now get in the car. - You're not gonna shoot me. 1496 01:21:48,006 --> 01:21:50,591 Okay, I'll be honest. This is only the second time I've ever fired this. 1497 01:21:50,800 --> 01:21:51,967 So stop pointing it at me. 1498 01:21:52,093 --> 01:21:56,138 Look, tomorrow morning, all I know is I'm going to Mauch, all right? 1499 01:21:56,348 --> 01:21:57,514 For what? He doesn't care. 1500 01:21:57,640 --> 01:22:00,768 He's been dodging this case for too long and I want answers. 1501 01:22:00,852 --> 01:22:03,103 I want him to look me in the eye and tell me why. 1502 01:22:03,188 --> 01:22:05,981 Turn on the news, man. Nobody cares. 1503 01:22:06,649 --> 01:22:08,025 I hope I'm not alone. 1504 01:22:08,818 --> 01:22:11,362 Hope you bring it. 1505 01:22:13,114 --> 01:22:15,199 We got a big day out there. Big one. 1506 01:22:15,325 --> 01:22:17,826 We got a full moon. People are gonna be amped, all right? 1507 01:22:18,161 --> 01:22:20,662 Let's see what we got on hot tips, all right? 1508 01:22:22,207 --> 01:22:23,332 The new bathmats are in. 1509 01:22:26,169 --> 01:22:30,339 One more thing. We got a serial rapist in Crown Heights. 1510 01:22:30,465 --> 01:22:33,926 Jeez, I'm sorry. That's from my other job. Ignore that. Forget that. 1511 01:22:34,010 --> 01:22:35,177 Well, don't ignore it. 1512 01:22:35,303 --> 01:22:38,472 If you live in Crown Heights, you know, walk in pairs. 1513 01:22:38,556 --> 01:22:42,893 Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories. Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories. 1514 01:22:43,019 --> 01:22:46,647 I gotta go. Go get 'em. Let's be careful out there. 1515 01:22:48,691 --> 01:22:49,817 The oak. 1516 01:22:49,901 --> 01:22:53,445 I like to keep the oak together and the maple separately, okay? 1517 01:22:53,530 --> 01:22:54,655 And these chopping boards? 1518 01:22:54,864 --> 01:22:55,989 Hey, Captain. 1519 01:22:57,367 --> 01:22:59,910 Hey, Allen. Hey, how you doing? 1520 01:23:00,036 --> 01:23:01,829 What are you doing here? Are you here for the bathmats? 1521 01:23:02,330 --> 01:23:05,958 - I need you to be straight with me. - Straight with us. 1522 01:23:06,042 --> 01:23:08,752 Hey, Terry. Look at this. 1523 01:23:08,878 --> 01:23:12,548 - I thought you were working traffic today. - Let them block the box. 1524 01:23:12,924 --> 01:23:16,385 - Besides, partners' code, right? - Thanks. 1525 01:23:17,929 --> 01:23:20,556 Hey, why have you worked your ass off trying to kill this case? 1526 01:23:22,015 --> 01:23:25,059 All right, fine. I'm gonna tell you guys something. 1527 01:23:25,185 --> 01:23:28,438 You really went into deep water on this one. You really went in deep. 1528 01:23:28,564 --> 01:23:30,481 Ershon's connected to all the higher ups, 1529 01:23:30,566 --> 01:23:33,443 and I gotta save what little ass I have left, okay? 1530 01:23:34,069 --> 01:23:36,237 You keep hiding from shit in the world, 1531 01:23:36,363 --> 01:23:38,573 and eventually the world comes to your front door. 1532 01:23:39,074 --> 01:23:41,284 - Nice. - That's very nice. 1533 01:23:41,410 --> 01:23:42,952 I heard it in an episode of Touched By An Angel. 1534 01:23:43,537 --> 01:23:47,498 You keep this thing real quiet, and you make sure you have real evidence, 1535 01:23:47,583 --> 01:23:49,167 and maybe I'll see what I can do. 1536 01:23:49,251 --> 01:23:50,460 But if you make a lot of noise 1537 01:23:50,586 --> 01:23:53,713 and you attract the media attention, and you bring the DA in on this, 1538 01:23:53,797 --> 01:23:55,381 I am out, okay? 1539 01:23:55,466 --> 01:23:56,757 Yeah, we'll go in there like church mice. 1540 01:23:56,884 --> 01:24:01,220 But there's one case, one case in a career where you go all in. 1541 01:24:01,305 --> 01:24:02,430 This is it. 1542 01:24:03,056 --> 01:24:06,392 All right. Then you do us proud. 1543 01:24:06,894 --> 01:24:08,144 'Cause I don't want no scrubs. 1544 01:24:08,896 --> 01:24:11,397 - Really? - No. 1545 01:24:11,482 --> 01:24:14,817 - You're not aware that's a TLC song? - I have no idea what you're talking about. 1546 01:24:15,110 --> 01:24:16,486 - Second time. - You said chasing waterfalls, 1547 01:24:16,612 --> 01:24:17,737 now you're saying you don't want no scrubs. 1548 01:24:17,821 --> 01:24:19,614 - I don't even understand the reference. - It's like a tic. 1549 01:24:19,740 --> 01:24:20,823 I have no idea what you're talking about. 1550 01:24:20,949 --> 01:24:23,242 Remember, this thing gets messy, we never talked. 1551 01:24:23,619 --> 01:24:25,328 - You can trust us. - Real quiet. 1552 01:24:25,454 --> 01:24:27,747 You gotta creep. Creep. 1553 01:24:27,956 --> 01:24:29,290 Come on. 1554 01:24:30,250 --> 01:24:32,752 You don't say "Creep-creep" unless you're quoting TLC. 1555 01:24:32,961 --> 01:24:34,337 Hey, guys. 1556 01:24:35,297 --> 01:24:37,173 You know Danson and Highsmith were not good cops, right? 1557 01:24:37,841 --> 01:24:39,634 Yeah, I guess we kind of knew that, but it's a drag. 1558 01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:41,636 I mean, at a certain point, who's left to be a hero? 1559 01:24:41,970 --> 01:24:45,139 Not to be corny, maybe it's you guys. 1560 01:24:46,600 --> 01:24:48,100 You ready? 1561 01:24:48,185 --> 01:24:49,852 - Yeah. - Let's go. 1562 01:24:58,362 --> 01:25:00,738 - No, but the highlights are great. - Thank you. 1563 01:25:00,821 --> 01:25:02,906 - Sexy but serious. - Thank you. 1564 01:25:02,990 --> 01:25:04,366 Excuse me. 1565 01:25:05,368 --> 01:25:08,036 Who the hell are all these people? I was only expecting one man. 1566 01:25:08,162 --> 01:25:12,624 You know, they're just some people I owe money to who wanted to be here. 1567 01:25:12,708 --> 01:25:13,833 Who are they? 1568 01:25:15,336 --> 01:25:20,006 Well, they are some Chechen patriots, entrepreneurs. 1569 01:25:20,132 --> 01:25:25,929 And the black chaps are some businessmen from Nigeria. 1570 01:25:26,013 --> 01:25:28,223 You owe money to the Nigerians and Chechens? 1571 01:25:28,349 --> 01:25:29,808 Yes. Yes, I do. 1572 01:25:29,892 --> 01:25:33,061 - You're a piece of work. - Thank you. 1573 01:25:33,229 --> 01:25:36,648 Probably best to get started. 1574 01:25:37,024 --> 01:25:40,485 This is good, baby. We're in the game, we know the score. 1575 01:25:40,570 --> 01:25:43,488 The only thing that bugs me is we still don't know who Ershon's targeting. 1576 01:25:43,573 --> 01:25:47,659 - Is it the lotto? Who is it? - Who cares? Some rich prick. 1577 01:25:47,743 --> 01:25:53,707 I have to tell you, I am tremendously excited by this deal. 1578 01:25:53,833 --> 01:25:56,251 And I can assure you that every dime of your money 1579 01:25:56,377 --> 01:25:59,379 will be invested with the utmost diligence. 1580 01:25:59,505 --> 01:26:01,423 Your rates of return are really exciting. 1581 01:26:01,549 --> 01:26:03,049 We think our members are gonna be just thrilled. 1582 01:26:03,175 --> 01:26:07,012 Yeah. I mean, we've averaged, like, 18% over the last 10 years. 1583 01:26:08,055 --> 01:26:10,265 All right. Quiet as a church mouse, in and out. 1584 01:26:10,391 --> 01:26:12,601 I can feel that tingling in my balls you were talking about. 1585 01:26:12,727 --> 01:26:13,768 Beautiful. 1586 01:26:13,894 --> 01:26:15,270 All right, listen up. 1587 01:26:15,396 --> 01:26:18,273 I am Detective Gamble. This is Detective Hoitz. 1588 01:26:18,399 --> 01:26:20,525 We need your cooperation. 1589 01:26:20,610 --> 01:26:22,068 David Ershon. 1590 01:26:22,194 --> 01:26:24,487 You're under arrest for fraud, embezzlement, 1591 01:26:24,572 --> 01:26:26,281 and in connection to the murder of Don Beaman. 1592 01:26:26,782 --> 01:26:28,241 This is a bad idea. 1593 01:26:28,743 --> 01:26:30,076 Hey, guys. 1594 01:26:31,704 --> 01:26:34,122 Bob? What are you doing here? 1595 01:26:34,582 --> 01:26:35,915 I'm investing. 1596 01:26:36,041 --> 01:26:38,417 Do you remember we talked about that proxy vote a while back? 1597 01:26:38,543 --> 01:26:40,127 - This is what it was for. - Holy shit. 1598 01:26:40,253 --> 01:26:42,755 It's a more aggressive investment strategy for the pension. 1599 01:26:42,881 --> 01:26:47,092 Allen! We're the suckers. They're targeting the police pension fund. 1600 01:26:53,433 --> 01:26:57,061 Gentlemen, you're here illegally and without a warrant. 1601 01:26:57,937 --> 01:26:59,438 We are within our rights to take action. 1602 01:27:57,831 --> 01:27:59,748 So much for quiet as church mice! 1603 01:28:00,166 --> 01:28:01,291 Go! 1604 01:28:06,464 --> 01:28:07,798 Who the hell are those guys? 1605 01:28:07,882 --> 01:28:10,926 Gentlemen, I can get you obstructed view tickets for Rock of Ages. 1606 01:28:11,010 --> 01:28:14,972 Even I admit that's not very tempting, but I'm not made of tickets, God damn it! 1607 01:28:15,055 --> 01:28:17,014 - Get in the front! - How do you start this freaking thing? 1608 01:28:17,307 --> 01:28:18,307 Go on! Go! 1609 01:28:19,017 --> 01:28:20,017 - Shit! - Go! 1610 01:28:22,479 --> 01:28:23,479 Oh, my... 1611 01:28:24,898 --> 01:28:27,775 Jeanie! Get over here! You, go get the bloody car! 1612 01:29:14,364 --> 01:29:15,364 Hold the wheel! 1613 01:29:21,038 --> 01:29:23,414 - Open the back! - I got it. I got it! 1614 01:29:31,381 --> 01:29:34,300 They're gonna kill me. And then they will kill you. 1615 01:29:34,426 --> 01:29:36,802 - Well, I'm gonna kill you first! - And then they will kill me. 1616 01:29:36,929 --> 01:29:39,972 We have two rogue police officers. They are armed and dangerous, 1617 01:29:40,057 --> 01:29:41,724 - and holding David Ershon hostage. - Stupid pricks! 1618 01:29:41,808 --> 01:29:45,311 - It's us, we're good guys! - Exactly. They're the good guys. 1619 01:29:45,395 --> 01:29:47,563 Where do we go? Where do we go? 1620 01:29:47,647 --> 01:29:50,315 I have a small apartment. No one knows about it. 1621 01:29:50,399 --> 01:29:53,068 I use it mainly for my parents and prostitutes. 1622 01:29:53,152 --> 01:29:55,278 Not at the same time. That would be wrong. 1623 01:29:58,491 --> 01:30:01,576 Let's hear it from the top, every detail. 1624 01:30:01,661 --> 01:30:06,498 I think the best way to tell the story is by starting at the end, briefly, 1625 01:30:06,582 --> 01:30:11,586 then going back to the beginning, and then periodically returning to the end, 1626 01:30:11,671 --> 01:30:14,756 maybe giving different characters' perspectives throughout. 1627 01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:18,093 Just to give it a bit of dynamism, otherwise, it's just sort of a linear story. 1628 01:30:18,177 --> 01:30:19,344 Just tell us what happened. 1629 01:30:19,470 --> 01:30:22,180 I lost a bunch of money from some people and now they want it back. 1630 01:30:22,515 --> 01:30:23,848 What about Don Beaman? 1631 01:30:23,933 --> 01:30:26,434 Beaman knew that I had falsified my financials, 1632 01:30:26,519 --> 01:30:29,437 so they sent down Wesley to try and keep him quiet. 1633 01:30:29,522 --> 01:30:31,356 He forced him at gunpoint to drink a bunch of gin 1634 01:30:31,482 --> 01:30:33,525 and then forced him onto the ledge. 1635 01:30:33,609 --> 01:30:35,277 It was only a matter of time before he fell. 1636 01:30:35,361 --> 01:30:38,780 At least we stopped you from getting the pension fund. 1637 01:30:38,864 --> 01:30:42,117 Well, but, yeah, but you didn't. It's already in my account. 1638 01:30:42,201 --> 01:30:44,786 By 9:00 in the morning, it goes into the Lendl equity fund 1639 01:30:44,870 --> 01:30:47,622 and from there it's transferred to a dozen offshore accounts. 1640 01:30:47,707 --> 01:30:49,207 By 9:01, it's gone. 1641 01:30:49,333 --> 01:30:52,294 - Well, what if we stop the transfer? - But you can't. I mean, there's a... 1642 01:30:52,378 --> 01:30:54,879 What if we stop the transfer? 1643 01:30:54,964 --> 01:30:57,799 You'd have to be at Endemic Bank for 9:00 exactly, 1644 01:30:57,883 --> 01:31:00,385 find the clerk, get the routing number. 1645 01:31:00,469 --> 01:31:01,469 We gotta stop it. 1646 01:31:01,554 --> 01:31:02,804 There's no way. 1647 01:31:02,888 --> 01:31:06,474 Every cop, the crazy Australian and his crew, they'll all be after us. 1648 01:31:06,559 --> 01:31:10,687 You could let me go, and I'll give you $10 million each. 1649 01:31:11,314 --> 01:31:14,316 - It's not a bribe. - Of course it's a bribe. 1650 01:31:14,400 --> 01:31:16,568 You're offering to pay us money to not do our job. 1651 01:31:18,654 --> 01:31:19,904 It's not a bribe. 1652 01:31:20,531 --> 01:31:22,907 We hang low here tonight. Nobody knows about this place. 1653 01:31:23,034 --> 01:31:24,743 We'll be safe. And tomorrow, we hit it. 1654 01:31:25,535 --> 01:31:27,077 First things first, I gotta go see Sheila. 1655 01:31:27,162 --> 01:31:28,537 No way, it's too dangerous. 1656 01:31:28,663 --> 01:31:30,914 Look, Terry, we don't know what's gonna happen to us tomorrow, 1657 01:31:31,041 --> 01:31:34,585 but tonight, I need to make things right with Sheila. 1658 01:31:35,086 --> 01:31:37,004 All right, go. Go. Be careful. 1659 01:31:37,422 --> 01:31:39,089 Thanks, I will. 1660 01:31:39,924 --> 01:31:41,175 Will you say hi to Sheila for me? 1661 01:31:41,343 --> 01:31:43,093 - Okay. - Okay. 1662 01:31:43,178 --> 01:31:46,096 Tell her. Say Terry was asking about you. 1663 01:31:46,222 --> 01:31:47,681 He wants to make sure you know 1664 01:31:47,766 --> 01:31:50,100 that he'll be there for you if anything happens. 1665 01:31:50,226 --> 01:31:52,269 - Yeah. - Drop of a hat, I'm there. 1666 01:31:52,520 --> 01:31:54,521 Look, it's starting to get a little weird, man. 1667 01:31:54,606 --> 01:31:57,524 If something happens to you, I need to be there to take care of her. 1668 01:31:57,609 --> 01:32:00,527 All of her wants, her needs, and desires are now my responsibility. 1669 01:32:00,612 --> 01:32:02,780 Why do you say it like it's a predetermined thing? 1670 01:32:02,947 --> 01:32:04,365 Just go, man. 1671 01:32:05,075 --> 01:32:06,575 Okay. Thanks. 1672 01:32:07,535 --> 01:32:08,619 Go. 1673 01:32:12,582 --> 01:32:13,749 Janeco Gallery. 1674 01:32:14,709 --> 01:32:16,794 Francine, it's Terry. Please don't hang up. 1675 01:32:27,472 --> 01:32:28,639 Please pick up. 1676 01:32:29,557 --> 01:32:30,724 Hello. 1677 01:32:30,809 --> 01:32:33,977 Hey, sweetie. I was praying you'd be at your mom's house. 1678 01:32:34,062 --> 01:32:37,314 You know what, I can't talk any more. I think the phone's being tapped. 1679 01:32:37,565 --> 01:32:40,067 Baby, where are you? I wanna see you. 1680 01:32:40,151 --> 01:32:42,319 I'm near the place where we did it three Halloweens ago. 1681 01:32:42,404 --> 01:32:43,445 Do you remember? 1682 01:32:44,406 --> 01:32:45,739 Okay, yeah, I got it. 1683 01:32:45,824 --> 01:32:49,493 I'm just warning you, though. Watch out. I think they're watching the house. 1684 01:32:49,577 --> 01:32:52,162 Don't worry, sweetie. I think I have a way of talking to you. 1685 01:32:52,664 --> 01:32:56,625 I have to admit, I wasn't gonna come. I mean... 1686 01:32:57,794 --> 01:33:01,255 After all those years, after the restraining order. 1687 01:33:01,338 --> 01:33:04,674 I was worried I might not see you again. 1688 01:33:04,800 --> 01:33:06,426 There's some very dangerous people after him, 1689 01:33:06,510 --> 01:33:07,510 and now they're after us. 1690 01:33:10,764 --> 01:33:12,348 It's just the old lady. 1691 01:33:17,688 --> 01:33:19,105 Hello, Allen. 1692 01:33:19,189 --> 01:33:21,774 Hello, Mama Ramos. What are you doing out here? 1693 01:33:21,859 --> 01:33:26,195 Sheila said she doesn't know what happened and she wants you back. 1694 01:33:26,280 --> 01:33:28,114 - She also says... - Yes. 1695 01:33:28,198 --> 01:33:32,034 ...she wants you on top of her, holding her hair, 1696 01:33:32,161 --> 01:33:34,203 and riding her like a bucking bronco 1697 01:33:34,830 --> 01:33:38,458 while she sucks your thumb and says, "Mommy likey." 1698 01:33:39,293 --> 01:33:40,710 You, you tell your daughter... 1699 01:33:41,295 --> 01:33:43,713 He said he'll always love you. 1700 01:33:43,797 --> 01:33:46,466 And he's so happy that you're having his child. 1701 01:33:46,550 --> 01:33:47,717 Allen. 1702 01:33:47,801 --> 01:33:49,635 He also says that 1703 01:33:49,720 --> 01:33:53,765 he wants you to stare into each other's eyes without blinking while you do it. 1704 01:33:54,391 --> 01:33:56,893 - I love when we do that, Mom. - And then afterward, 1705 01:33:56,977 --> 01:33:58,978 lick the sex off each other. 1706 01:34:00,814 --> 01:34:02,732 I don't wanna do this. 1707 01:34:04,151 --> 01:34:07,528 - You say things that are too personal. - Okay, but just one more thing. 1708 01:34:07,863 --> 01:34:09,781 She said she loves you, 1709 01:34:09,865 --> 01:34:12,992 and wants to hold your hand and have iced tea with you. 1710 01:34:13,660 --> 01:34:16,162 Come on. That's not all she said. 1711 01:34:16,663 --> 01:34:17,830 No. 1712 01:34:18,916 --> 01:34:22,502 - She says other things, but I don't want... - Please, please, please. 1713 01:34:22,586 --> 01:34:24,837 You don't realize, I may be killed tomorrow. 1714 01:34:25,339 --> 01:34:26,506 Okay. 1715 01:34:29,051 --> 01:34:33,930 She says she wants to unplug all the clocks and the phones 1716 01:34:34,014 --> 01:34:37,225 - and have a three-day F marathon. - That's more like it. Yeah. 1717 01:34:37,517 --> 01:34:42,646 She wants to walk wrong for a week because you guys F'd so hard. 1718 01:34:42,730 --> 01:34:43,939 That's just lovely. 1719 01:34:44,357 --> 01:34:47,943 No more! He says things I can't say. 1720 01:34:48,027 --> 01:34:53,823 It involves a mannequin hand and an electric shaver taped to a golf club. 1721 01:35:02,375 --> 01:35:03,542 Now what'd she say? 1722 01:35:05,962 --> 01:35:07,712 She says she loves you. 1723 01:35:13,970 --> 01:35:16,304 I'm so sorry about everything. 1724 01:35:17,181 --> 01:35:21,643 And I just had to come here tonight to tell you that I love you. 1725 01:35:21,727 --> 01:35:25,564 And the reason why I act like you're a plain wife is that 1726 01:35:27,233 --> 01:35:31,319 I'm afraid that if I admit to how stunning 1727 01:35:31,404 --> 01:35:34,197 and intelligent and wonderful you are, 1728 01:35:35,074 --> 01:35:38,910 - I'd just lose you. - Shut up, Allen. I love you. 1729 01:35:39,412 --> 01:35:42,205 We have a place that's safe. All right. 1730 01:35:54,760 --> 01:35:56,011 I'm gonna break your hip. 1731 01:36:04,770 --> 01:36:07,063 I'm about to do you grandpa-style. 1732 01:36:22,454 --> 01:36:24,121 I brought some music. 1733 01:36:28,627 --> 01:36:30,628 Not what I would've chosen, but screw it. 1734 01:36:30,712 --> 01:36:33,964 All right. Let's go, Monday morning, time to go to work. 1735 01:36:34,049 --> 01:36:35,132 Let's do it. 1736 01:36:35,258 --> 01:36:36,967 - You want my gate code? - Shut up, man! 1737 01:36:44,559 --> 01:36:45,643 That's Wesley! 1738 01:36:56,655 --> 01:36:57,780 Yes! 1739 01:37:00,158 --> 01:37:02,743 - Where'd you learn to drive like that? - Grand Theft Auto! 1740 01:37:05,664 --> 01:37:06,914 Shit, Allen, they're coming. 1741 01:37:09,793 --> 01:37:12,336 - Oh, my God! - Shit. 1742 01:37:13,630 --> 01:37:15,339 - Do something, Allen! - Hold on, hold on. 1743 01:37:36,820 --> 01:37:38,696 Someone's been playing Grand Theft Auto. 1744 01:37:40,365 --> 01:37:41,699 I did that! 1745 01:37:41,825 --> 01:37:43,450 - I did that! - Oh, my God! 1746 01:37:43,535 --> 01:37:45,869 - That's what I'm talking about! - We jackknifed them! 1747 01:37:45,954 --> 01:37:48,455 Did you see that? It went backwards and then turned upside-down. 1748 01:37:48,540 --> 01:37:52,126 Gator turns vans upside-down like they're in a crazy washing machine! 1749 01:37:52,209 --> 01:37:54,252 Why are you calling yourself Gator? 1750 01:37:54,670 --> 01:37:57,463 It's a nickname I had in college. I used to run a dating service. 1751 01:37:57,548 --> 01:38:00,758 - He was a pimp. - Yeah, I was. I was a pimp. 1752 01:38:00,884 --> 01:38:03,386 Is it me or does it smell like deer vagina in here? 1753 01:38:04,388 --> 01:38:05,555 My poor car. 1754 01:38:05,889 --> 01:38:08,349 Right now the streets are a bloodbath. 1755 01:38:08,434 --> 01:38:11,561 And, statistically speaking, there's about 30 kids in here, 1756 01:38:11,645 --> 01:38:13,646 10 of you are gonna be dead before your next birthday. 1757 01:38:13,939 --> 01:38:17,024 Got a couple of tips, help you guys stay out of jail. 1758 01:38:17,109 --> 01:38:21,362 One, try your hardest to not be black or Hispanic. 1759 01:38:21,447 --> 01:38:23,698 - It's a good tip. - Yeah. Two... 1760 01:38:23,782 --> 01:38:25,074 Gentlemen, we got a hot one. 1761 01:38:25,159 --> 01:38:28,786 Hoitz and Gamble have Ershon hostage, high-speed car chase in progress. 1762 01:38:28,871 --> 01:38:30,705 Yes! Gun, gun! 1763 01:38:30,998 --> 01:38:32,832 Pass up the guns. Pass them up. Let's go, people. 1764 01:38:32,916 --> 01:38:34,542 There we go. Anything, any Tasers? No? 1765 01:38:34,626 --> 01:38:36,043 Good. Who wants to go on a ride-along? 1766 01:38:36,128 --> 01:38:37,587 I do! 1767 01:38:38,088 --> 01:38:39,464 All right, you, sweetie. Come on, let's go. Move. 1768 01:38:39,548 --> 01:38:41,090 - Move! Let's go. - Come on! 1769 01:38:50,809 --> 01:38:54,228 Cool, a helicopter! Must be covering the high-speed chase. 1770 01:38:59,485 --> 01:39:00,860 Jesus! 1771 01:39:05,699 --> 01:39:08,493 - Who are those guys? - They're Chechen investors. 1772 01:39:08,577 --> 01:39:11,621 We were gonna do a Chechen version of Dora the Explorer. 1773 01:39:11,705 --> 01:39:13,289 Anyway, it went terribly wrong. 1774 01:39:16,460 --> 01:39:18,669 I feel like it's not fair that they have a helicopter! 1775 01:39:19,671 --> 01:39:20,755 Oh, no. 1776 01:39:22,132 --> 01:39:23,216 Damn it. 1777 01:39:27,094 --> 01:39:29,554 Watch your head. God, your hair is soft. 1778 01:39:29,639 --> 01:39:31,097 VO5 Hot Oil. 1779 01:39:34,435 --> 01:39:36,728 You're gonna wreck! There's cars coming from both directions! 1780 01:39:36,813 --> 01:39:37,938 I'm not gonna wreck! 1781 01:39:39,899 --> 01:39:41,650 - I'm gonna wreck! You're right! - You want me to drive? 1782 01:40:01,671 --> 01:40:04,339 - This was a very clever idea. - Yeah. 1783 01:40:16,435 --> 01:40:17,727 They're gone. 1784 01:40:19,146 --> 01:40:20,230 Let's go. 1785 01:40:32,535 --> 01:40:35,996 They are Nigerians. Yeah, I'd forgotten about them. 1786 01:40:43,838 --> 01:40:45,088 - This is a shortcut. - Are you kidding me? 1787 01:40:45,172 --> 01:40:46,381 You cannot go down there. 1788 01:40:54,307 --> 01:40:55,807 What are you doing? 1789 01:41:02,023 --> 01:41:03,106 Hit him! 1790 01:41:10,822 --> 01:41:12,197 - Where are we? - Chelsea Pier. 1791 01:41:18,663 --> 01:41:19,747 What the hell? 1792 01:41:21,082 --> 01:41:22,166 Jesus! 1793 01:41:29,549 --> 01:41:31,383 Them having a helicopter is definitely cheating. 1794 01:41:32,135 --> 01:41:33,218 Go! 1795 01:41:38,350 --> 01:41:39,433 Come on! 1796 01:41:41,311 --> 01:41:42,895 We're cops! Hit the chopper! 1797 01:42:05,794 --> 01:42:08,671 This is Martin and Fosse, en route. Back off! This is our collar! 1798 01:42:10,507 --> 01:42:13,175 Set up a perimeter. No arrests until we get there! 1799 01:42:13,468 --> 01:42:14,551 Take the light! 1800 01:42:34,739 --> 01:42:36,281 Do not authorize that transfer. 1801 01:42:36,366 --> 01:42:37,950 This is David Ershon. The transfer is for him. 1802 01:42:38,034 --> 01:42:40,452 He will tell you not to authorize it, okay? Tell him. 1803 01:42:40,536 --> 01:42:43,162 - Tell him! - Yeah, do as they say. Stop the transfer. 1804 01:42:43,247 --> 01:42:44,330 Approve it. 1805 01:42:45,791 --> 01:42:46,874 Now. 1806 01:42:46,959 --> 01:42:48,543 Do not touch anything! 1807 01:42:48,961 --> 01:42:51,212 I swear to God I'll blow your head all over this desk. 1808 01:42:51,296 --> 01:42:53,715 Not a person in this room believes you'll shoot this clerk. 1809 01:42:53,799 --> 01:42:54,882 Yeah? 1810 01:42:56,260 --> 01:42:59,762 Thank you so much, gentlemen, for the prompt delivery of Mr. Ershon. 1811 01:42:59,847 --> 01:43:03,266 I have two competing bids from jilted investors. 1812 01:43:03,976 --> 01:43:06,185 They're at 30 million, and holding. 1813 01:43:06,895 --> 01:43:08,855 - Wait! Can't you let me... - Take him away. 1814 01:43:09,440 --> 01:43:10,982 But computers. 1815 01:43:12,067 --> 01:43:16,529 What if, one day, they were in charge? 1816 01:43:18,115 --> 01:43:22,201 Now if you don't shut up, I will cut your ear off with a butter knife. 1817 01:43:22,286 --> 01:43:24,370 That's blunt. Blunt's worse than if it's sharp. 1818 01:43:24,455 --> 01:43:25,705 Now! 1819 01:43:32,755 --> 01:43:33,921 You just stood there! 1820 01:43:34,006 --> 01:43:36,799 I didn't know that "now" meant that. How am I supposed to know that? 1821 01:43:36,884 --> 01:43:38,760 - I knew what that meant. - Shut up. 1822 01:43:38,844 --> 01:43:41,888 You kill us and you kill Ershon. You're out 30 million dollars. 1823 01:43:41,972 --> 01:43:44,057 - Who's got the golden goose now, huh? - Yeah. 1824 01:43:48,103 --> 01:43:49,687 Shit! 1825 01:43:50,397 --> 01:43:52,565 He's still valuable with a bullet wound, mate. 1826 01:43:52,649 --> 01:43:54,525 He immediately called your bluff. 1827 01:43:54,610 --> 01:43:56,444 Get up. And kill the police. 1828 01:43:56,528 --> 01:43:57,987 I just wanna make sure I get it right. 1829 01:43:58,072 --> 01:44:01,491 Did you want this transfer approved or not approved? 1830 01:44:01,950 --> 01:44:04,327 You, mate, I'm gonna kill just for fun. 1831 01:44:05,871 --> 01:44:08,664 Police, don't move! Drop your weapons! 1832 01:44:08,749 --> 01:44:11,667 Drop it, or be dropped, homeboy! 1833 01:44:11,752 --> 01:44:14,712 I hope you like the taste of prison food and penis. 1834 01:44:14,797 --> 01:44:17,590 - Police! Down on the ground! - Let me see your hands! 1835 01:44:25,431 --> 01:44:27,724 - Hey, hey, you okay? - Hey. 1836 01:44:28,601 --> 01:44:30,977 Hey, Gene. Captain. I'm sorry. 1837 01:44:31,270 --> 01:44:32,979 - I'm sorry. - That's okay. Don't worry about it. 1838 01:44:33,064 --> 01:44:34,564 You can call me Gene when we're not in the office. 1839 01:44:34,941 --> 01:44:37,192 Okay. Thanks for coming by. 1840 01:44:37,276 --> 01:44:39,361 Attaboy. 1841 01:44:39,445 --> 01:44:41,488 Come on, stay with me. Stay with me. 1842 01:44:41,739 --> 01:44:44,616 We're losing him! We're losing him! He's dying! 1843 01:44:45,076 --> 01:44:48,411 No. No, no, no, no. I'm just resting. I'm just resting. 1844 01:44:48,496 --> 01:44:50,664 - I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? - I was just resting. 1845 01:44:50,748 --> 01:44:52,290 - Are you all right? - Just resting. 1846 01:44:52,375 --> 01:44:53,792 Hey, let me tell you something. 1847 01:44:53,876 --> 01:44:56,711 As far as paperwork goes, we'll take care of it. 1848 01:44:57,046 --> 01:44:58,630 - You know why? - Why? 1849 01:44:58,714 --> 01:45:00,215 Ain't too proud to beg. 1850 01:45:00,842 --> 01:45:02,050 Come on. 1851 01:45:02,135 --> 01:45:03,969 - What? - It's not funny anymore. 1852 01:45:04,053 --> 01:45:06,596 - I don't know what you're talking about. - TLC references. 1853 01:45:06,681 --> 01:45:08,682 Still nothing. I swear to you. 1854 01:45:09,016 --> 01:45:14,354 I'm gonna go over and check on Terry. I got a bad knee. Hold on. There you go. 1855 01:45:14,438 --> 01:45:17,232 It was the king of the mutt cases, 1856 01:45:17,316 --> 01:45:20,443 but Allen and Terry had worked it like stars. 1857 01:45:23,322 --> 01:45:26,449 Within 24 hours of learning about Ershon's scheme 1858 01:45:26,534 --> 01:45:28,577 and Lendl's massive losses, 1859 01:45:28,661 --> 01:45:31,371 the government issued TARP funds to bail out Lendl. 1860 01:45:31,455 --> 01:45:36,001 Lendl is in everything, and we're gonna go everywhere... 1861 01:45:36,085 --> 01:45:37,878 They were too big to fail. 1862 01:45:37,962 --> 01:45:43,175 Ershon now resides in Palomino Federal Correctional Facility in Florida. 1863 01:45:43,259 --> 01:45:46,344 He still invests. Currency's just different. 1864 01:45:47,388 --> 01:45:49,806 Roger Wesley was linked to the Beaman murder 1865 01:45:49,891 --> 01:45:53,685 by security cam footage which Martin and Fosse hadn't checked. 1866 01:45:53,768 --> 01:45:55,603 It only showed the back of their heads. 1867 01:45:55,687 --> 01:45:59,815 But Allen's Faceback app was able to get a match to their faces. 1868 01:46:00,275 --> 01:46:02,151 Terry married Francine. 1869 01:46:02,235 --> 01:46:05,196 He played harp at the reception and it was beautiful. 1870 01:46:05,280 --> 01:46:06,822 He had learned how to play it in the eighth grade 1871 01:46:06,907 --> 01:46:10,242 to make fun of the fairy that lived up the street. 1872 01:46:10,660 --> 01:46:13,913 Terry asked Sheila to be his best man, but she declined. 1873 01:46:14,205 --> 01:46:18,417 Let's be honest, we all wanna be superstars and hotshots. 1874 01:46:18,501 --> 01:46:19,710 But guess what? 1875 01:46:19,794 --> 01:46:23,297 The people that do the real work, the ones that make the difference, 1876 01:46:23,548 --> 01:46:26,550 you don't see them on TV or on the front page. 1877 01:46:27,218 --> 01:46:30,679 I'm talking about the day-in, day-outers, the grinders. 1878 01:46:30,805 --> 01:46:33,933 Come on, man, you know who I'm talking about: The other guys. 1879 01:46:34,017 --> 01:46:35,184 - See? That's a no-go. - Hey, hey. 1880 01:46:35,936 --> 01:46:37,937 You think you broke this Ershon case open? 1881 01:46:38,355 --> 01:46:39,563 You did nothing. 1882 01:46:39,981 --> 01:46:41,565 Corporate lobbyists are spending millions 1883 01:46:41,650 --> 01:46:43,901 to make sure guys like Ershon keep doing what they do. 1884 01:46:44,778 --> 01:46:45,778 Derek Jeter? 1885 01:46:47,197 --> 01:46:50,282 Yeah, it's me. You were set up that night you shot me, Terry. 1886 01:46:50,575 --> 01:46:53,369 - I told you! - They knew by putting someone like you 1887 01:46:53,453 --> 01:46:56,413 with a quick trigger finger next to that door where I do my pre-game walk, 1888 01:46:56,581 --> 01:46:58,958 it'd end up bad. Bad for both of us. 1889 01:46:59,501 --> 01:47:01,585 Now, I've been doing my own investigation on the banking industry, 1890 01:47:01,753 --> 01:47:03,796 and I was close. I was real close. 1891 01:47:04,214 --> 01:47:05,381 So I forgive you, Terry. 1892 01:47:05,924 --> 01:47:08,050 I appreciate that, man. I'm sorry about what happened. 1893 01:47:08,802 --> 01:47:09,802 I'm glad you're doing better. 1894 01:47:10,261 --> 01:47:12,596 The whole damn system is clogged up with dirty money. 1895 01:47:13,181 --> 01:47:16,433 And the news doesn't say a word about it. 'Cause who owns them? 1896 01:47:16,601 --> 01:47:19,019 The same corporations that own the government. 1897 01:47:19,604 --> 01:47:21,313 Courts and the law is all we have left. 1898 01:47:22,649 --> 01:47:24,108 So here's you guys' next case. 1899 01:47:25,235 --> 01:47:28,112 Guy by the name of Carl Bachand, CEO of Killister Bank. 1900 01:47:28,779 --> 01:47:32,615 He took three billion in TARP funds. He's crooked. He's real crooked. 1901 01:47:33,117 --> 01:47:37,745 Take him down, but be careful. He's got Blackwater mercenaries 24/7. 1902 01:47:38,789 --> 01:47:39,956 Thanks, Derek. 1903 01:47:41,250 --> 01:47:43,376 Hey, Derek! Wait! What if we need to get in touch with you, 1904 01:47:43,460 --> 01:47:45,795 get some more information or some tickets or something? 1905 01:47:46,547 --> 01:47:47,714 What just happened? 1906 01:47:50,592 --> 01:47:53,678 Goldman Sachs. This case is gonna be nasty. 1907 01:47:56,348 --> 01:47:58,057 Hi. Cute glasses. 1908 01:47:59,059 --> 01:48:01,019 - What was that? - What? 1909 01:48:01,103 --> 01:48:04,731 What? Dude, what is it with you and hot ladies? What's your secret? 1910 01:48:04,815 --> 01:48:07,483 Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about. 1911 01:48:07,568 --> 01:48:09,610 Tell me who you lost your virginity to. 1912 01:48:09,695 --> 01:48:12,739 She actually became a TV actress. Heather Locklear. 1913 01:48:12,823 --> 01:48:14,490 Heather Locklear, what? 1914 01:48:14,575 --> 01:48:16,200 - You've heard of her? - Come on! 1915 01:48:16,285 --> 01:48:20,413 - She was much chubbier back then. - I don't get it. I really, I don't get it. 1916 01:53:21,006 --> 01:53:22,673 That was you. You don't have a sense of humor. 1917 01:53:22,799 --> 01:53:24,258 I do... I have a wonderful sense of humor. 1918 01:53:24,760 --> 01:53:26,302 If you say something funny, I'll laugh. 1919 01:53:26,386 --> 01:53:29,096 - All right, I'm gonna tell you a great joke. - Please. I love jokes. 1920 01:53:29,222 --> 01:53:31,807 All right. Little boy on his 13th birthday. 1921 01:53:33,185 --> 01:53:36,312 - It's time to get laid. - Already feels inappropriate. 1922 01:53:36,646 --> 01:53:38,397 So he goes to the lady at the whorehouse, he goes, "Miss, 1923 01:53:38,774 --> 01:53:41,942 "look, I know usually you want money, but I don't have any money and it's my birthday. 1924 01:53:42,277 --> 01:53:44,028 "Do you think I could have sex with you for this duck?" 1925 01:53:44,571 --> 01:53:46,781 - Was he a farmer? - No. 1926 01:53:46,990 --> 01:53:51,285 That's probably a Health Code violation, bringing a duck into a place of prostitution. 1927 01:53:51,703 --> 01:53:53,287 They weren't gonna have sex with the duck! 1928 01:53:53,538 --> 01:53:55,289 No, I just mean Health Code violation 1929 01:53:55,374 --> 01:53:59,001 to have the duck brought into a facility like that. 1930 01:54:00,504 --> 01:54:02,671 So, anyway, she says, "Yes, I'll do it." 1931 01:54:03,173 --> 01:54:05,633 So he goes in there, gives it to her. 1932 01:54:06,176 --> 01:54:09,345 - He gives her what? - The high, hard one! She loves it. 1933 01:54:09,638 --> 01:54:12,640 She goes, "You know what? If you do that again, I'll give you your duck back." 1934 01:54:12,974 --> 01:54:14,892 - It's like getting laid twice for free. - So... I'm sorry. 1935 01:54:14,976 --> 01:54:16,102 I'm so sorry. 1936 01:54:16,395 --> 01:54:20,356 - The duck is payment for sexual intercourse. - Yes. Yes. 1937 01:54:20,524 --> 01:54:21,649 - Very good. - He used the duck as payment, 1938 01:54:21,733 --> 01:54:23,359 and now he's being paid back the duck. 1939 01:54:23,777 --> 01:54:26,862 He goes, "Oh, my God, this is the greatest birthday ever." He does it again. 1940 01:54:27,197 --> 01:54:30,741 - Now he's walking home, right? Walking... - So she was satisfied with duck. 1941 01:54:31,034 --> 01:54:33,035 - With a duck as currency... - Yes. 1942 01:54:33,120 --> 01:54:35,579 ...to her. Great. Good. 1943 01:54:35,914 --> 01:54:39,667 So he's walking home, now he can't wait to get home to tell his father. Right? 1944 01:54:40,043 --> 01:54:42,169 He's walking down the street with the duck, and all of a sudden, voom, 1945 01:54:42,254 --> 01:54:43,671 truck comes by and runs over his duck. 1946 01:54:43,755 --> 01:54:45,131 - Kills the duck? - Killed the duck. 1947 01:54:45,215 --> 01:54:47,383 - So the duck is now dead. - The duck is dead. 1948 01:54:47,884 --> 01:54:51,178 The kid starts crying, truck driver stops, he's all upset, he didn't mean... 1949 01:54:51,346 --> 01:54:54,473 Of course he's crying! He's a 13-year-old boy who's just had sex, twice, 1950 01:54:54,641 --> 01:54:58,102 - and he watched his beloved duck die. - Will you shut up and let me tell the story? 1951 01:54:58,270 --> 01:55:00,187 So far, I don't know how this is ever gonna be funny. 1952 01:55:00,480 --> 01:55:02,940 The guy feels so bad about killing the duck, he gives him two dollars. 1953 01:55:03,316 --> 01:55:04,650 And the kid's happy with the two bucks? 1954 01:55:05,152 --> 01:55:08,612 He's ecstatic! He got laid twice, and now he's got two dollars on top of it. 1955 01:55:08,697 --> 01:55:11,157 Seems like a duck would be worth a lot more than two dollars. 1956 01:55:12,325 --> 01:55:13,868 This was a while back. You what I'm... 1957 01:55:14,244 --> 01:55:16,745 So he goes home, his dad goes, "What happened? What happened? 1958 01:55:16,830 --> 01:55:20,291 "Tell me! Tell me!" He goes, "Dad, I got a fuck for the duck, 1959 01:55:20,417 --> 01:55:21,957 "I got a duck for the fuck, 1960 01:55:22,042 --> 01:55:23,787 "and I got two bucks for a fucked-up duck!" 1961 01:55:26,882 --> 01:55:28,087 So it's like a limerick. 1962 01:55:29,297 --> 01:55:30,552 You didn't think that was funny? 1963 01:55:31,012 --> 01:55:32,887 I thought it was entertaining at the end, sure, 1964 01:55:33,597 --> 01:55:35,347 the way all the words were put together, 1965 01:55:35,432 --> 01:55:36,977 but in terms of content? 1966 01:55:38,602 --> 01:55:39,727 No. 1967 01:55:42,937 --> 01:55:46,567 Get the check-check from Shen-Shen. Let's get out of here. 1968 01:55:51,782 --> 01:55:55,947 Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. 1969 01:55:56,452 --> 01:55:57,457 And cut. 164376

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