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1
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In New York City,there's a fine line between law and chaos.
2
00:00:41,614 --> 00:00:44,444
On that line live Danson and Highsmith.
3
00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:50,119
Tell me again
why I decided to get on this roof!
4
00:00:51,124 --> 00:00:54,499
I think you can chalk that up
to bad life choices.
5
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:11,809
Get rid of that asshole.
6
00:01:11,934 --> 00:01:13,854
- Uh-oh!
- I hate it when you say "uh-oh!"
7
00:01:24,444 --> 00:01:26,324
Dude, you put a ding in my hood!
8
00:01:30,368 --> 00:01:31,493
Come on with it, then!
9
00:01:37,041 --> 00:01:38,834
Whoa, hey!
10
00:01:45,717 --> 00:01:47,050
That's trouble.
11
00:02:01,733 --> 00:02:05,194
Did someone call Nine-One-holy-shit?
12
00:02:15,538 --> 00:02:17,498
That's it. I'm sick of all this running.
13
00:02:25,381 --> 00:02:26,507
Hang on!
14
00:02:36,935 --> 00:02:42,898
You have the right to remain silent!
15
00:02:43,399 --> 00:02:46,026
But I wanna hear you scream!
16
00:03:01,459 --> 00:03:02,584
Down on the ground!
17
00:03:02,918 --> 00:03:05,086
Detective! Yeah, yeah! Detective!
18
00:03:05,754 --> 00:03:07,797
One at a time, all right?
19
00:03:08,131 --> 00:03:12,176
Yeah, Detectives, Rick Grayson,
New York Observer Online.
20
00:03:12,302 --> 00:03:15,221
These suspects were caught
with only a quarter pound of marijuana,
21
00:03:15,305 --> 00:03:16,722
a misdemeanor in some states.
22
00:03:16,807 --> 00:03:20,101
Do you think this arrest was worth
$12 million in property damages?
23
00:03:20,269 --> 00:03:23,479
Why don't we let New York City
answer that question?
24
00:03:23,605 --> 00:03:26,107
The greatest city on Earth, yeah!
25
00:03:29,278 --> 00:03:32,613
Hi, Sarah Gapone from TMZ print edition.
26
00:03:32,698 --> 00:03:36,284
Danson, are the rumors about
you and Kim Kardashian true?
27
00:03:36,368 --> 00:03:37,952
No comment.
28
00:03:38,453 --> 00:03:39,787
But, yes.
29
00:03:41,331 --> 00:03:44,834
Danson and Highsmith,
free hot dogs for life!
30
00:03:48,297 --> 00:03:52,466
No drinks. No drinks.
I can't do it. I can't do it.
31
00:03:52,801 --> 00:03:58,264
Danson and Highsmith shoot, drive,and sex with style. They're rock stars.
32
00:03:58,348 --> 00:04:01,350
Then you got your jokers,your ball busters, your vets...
33
00:04:02,603 --> 00:04:03,644
... and the other guys.
34
00:04:07,316 --> 00:04:10,318
We know, we know. We know.
35
00:04:10,402 --> 00:04:12,570
All right, all right, all right.
Listen up, listen up!
36
00:04:12,654 --> 00:04:16,198
We're having a celebration tonight at Butter.
37
00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:18,868
Brody Jenner's gonna be there. Bai Ling.
38
00:04:18,994 --> 00:04:21,746
- That little short bitch from Jersey Shore.
- Yeah!
39
00:04:21,830 --> 00:04:24,916
And most of you are on the list.
40
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,918
You're the best.
41
00:04:27,002 --> 00:04:28,961
Guys, I'm gonna say something right now.
42
00:04:29,046 --> 00:04:31,422
It's about a man who came from Austria
with a dream.
43
00:04:31,506 --> 00:04:34,342
- Arnold Schwarzenegger!
- Let me finish.
44
00:04:34,426 --> 00:04:36,802
He became a champion
and then a movie star, all right?
45
00:04:36,887 --> 00:04:39,055
- Arnold Schwarzenegger!
- God damn it, let me...
46
00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:41,056
They ruined the story.
They ruined the story.
47
00:04:41,182 --> 00:04:42,766
Let... What... The point is,
48
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:45,936
we couldn't do our job if it weren't
for you guys doing all the paperwork,
49
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,313
answering the phones, and all that
stupid shit that we don't like to do.
50
00:04:48,397 --> 00:04:50,398
All the gun fights, all the car chases,
51
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:54,361
all the sex we don't wanna have with women,
but we have to,
52
00:04:54,445 --> 00:04:58,114
all due to what you guys do. Thank you.
53
00:04:58,199 --> 00:04:59,449
And we'd do it again and again.
54
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,826
Hey, you shut your face!
55
00:05:01,911 --> 00:05:03,119
If we wanna hear you talk,
56
00:05:03,204 --> 00:05:06,081
I will shove my arm up your ass
and work your mouth like a puppet!
57
00:05:06,290 --> 00:05:07,874
You hear me? You hear me?
58
00:05:08,417 --> 00:05:10,335
- Cash bar.
- Yeah.
59
00:05:10,419 --> 00:05:12,253
Peace out, bitches.
60
00:05:13,631 --> 00:05:16,591
Hey, fellas. All right, bring it in.
61
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,218
Come on. Bring it in a little bit.
62
00:05:18,427 --> 00:05:20,428
All right, right there.
63
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,472
Just back up, just like right there.
64
00:05:23,099 --> 00:05:25,183
All right, just one... Just a...
65
00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:27,060
There you go, right there. Right there.
66
00:05:27,603 --> 00:05:29,688
This is their paperwork.
You know they're not gonna do it.
67
00:05:29,772 --> 00:05:32,983
That's right.
This paperwork is like Bob's wife here.
68
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:36,736
It's thick, ugly,
got Danson's fingerprints all over it.
69
00:05:36,821 --> 00:05:38,238
- No offense, Bob.
- That's all right.
70
00:05:38,322 --> 00:05:40,448
- Anyway, now who wants it?
- I do!
71
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:43,243
All right!
Paper Bitch and Yankee Clipper on the case!
72
00:05:43,953 --> 00:05:45,370
- Nice work. Thanks, Allen.
- Thank you, Captain.
73
00:05:45,454 --> 00:05:46,746
"I'll do it! I'll do it!"
74
00:05:56,799 --> 00:05:58,925
Stop humming that song!
75
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,762
- I can hum if I want to.
- No, I know you can.
76
00:06:02,847 --> 00:06:04,097
I'm asking you to stop.
77
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:06,433
- Well, if you're asking, then I'll stop.
- Thank you.
78
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,523
Could you not smile like that?
79
00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:17,444
Now you're asking me to mask my emotions
because of how it makes you feel.
80
00:06:17,527 --> 00:06:19,319
That I will not do.
81
00:06:23,158 --> 00:06:25,993
Seriously, stop humming! Okay?
82
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,120
This isn't accounting or wherever the hell
83
00:06:28,204 --> 00:06:31,540
you and your little pocket calculator
were transferred from.
84
00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:34,585
Forensic accounting, okay.
And it's an important part of the job.
85
00:06:34,669 --> 00:06:38,756
Yeah, whatever. Stop being so overtly happy
about doing shit work, you moron.
86
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,716
Hey, guys. Reminder.
87
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,011
The police union picnic's
coming up this weekend.
88
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:48,724
My wife's making her famous
deviled eggs, again. My waistline's furious.
89
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:50,184
It's a bad time, Bob!
90
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:53,312
All right.
91
00:06:53,855 --> 00:06:54,980
Going to get a slice.
92
00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:08,410
You know what I just did?
93
00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,788
I just walked out that door,
saw a couple detectives,
94
00:07:10,872 --> 00:07:13,373
and I was about to start bad mouthing you
behind your back,
95
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,667
but I stopped myself,
because my pops taught me
96
00:07:15,752 --> 00:07:18,378
that a man who talks
behind somebody's back is a coward.
97
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:19,671
Wow, I actually appreciate that.
98
00:07:19,756 --> 00:07:21,548
Good, 'cause I'm gonna tell you
directly to your face.
99
00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:24,384
- No. You don't have to.
- No, I don't like you.
100
00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:25,886
I think you're a fake cop.
101
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:29,723
The sound of your piss hitting the urinal?
It sounds feminine.
102
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:32,559
If we were in the wild, I would attack you.
103
00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:37,356
Even if you weren't in my food chain,
I would go out of my way to attack you.
104
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,024
If I were a lion, and you were a tuna,
105
00:07:39,109 --> 00:07:41,735
I would swim out in the middle of the ocean
and freaking eat you!
106
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:45,197
And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
107
00:07:45,281 --> 00:07:49,618
Okay, first off,
a lion swimming in the ocean?
108
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:50,911
Lions don't like water.
109
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:55,039
If you'd placed it near a river or some sort
of fresh water source, that'd make sense.
110
00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:57,667
But you find yourself in the ocean,
20-foot waves,
111
00:07:57,751 --> 00:07:59,544
I'm assuming
it's off the coast of South Africa,
112
00:07:59,878 --> 00:08:05,133
coming up against a full-grown,
800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends?
113
00:08:05,217 --> 00:08:06,384
You lose that battle.
114
00:08:06,468 --> 00:08:09,387
You lose that battle nine times out of ten.
And guess what?
115
00:08:09,471 --> 00:08:13,766
You've wandered into our school of tuna,
and we now have a taste of lion.
116
00:08:13,892 --> 00:08:16,269
We've talked to ourselves.
We've communicated.
117
00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:17,520
- Yeah?
- And said, "You know what?
118
00:08:17,604 --> 00:08:20,773
"Lion tastes good.
Let's go get some more lion."
119
00:08:20,899 --> 00:08:23,442
We've developed a system
to establish a beachhead
120
00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:26,445
and aggressively hunt you and your family.
121
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:28,698
And we will corner your pride,
122
00:08:28,782 --> 00:08:30,658
- your children, your offspring.
- How you gonna do that?
123
00:08:30,742 --> 00:08:34,328
We will construct a series
of breathing apparatus with kelp.
124
00:08:34,413 --> 00:08:36,914
We will be able to trap
certain amounts of oxygen.
125
00:08:36,999 --> 00:08:41,460
It's not gonna be days at a time,
but an hour, hour 45, no problem.
126
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:44,213
That will give us enough time
to figure out where you live,
127
00:08:44,298 --> 00:08:47,383
go back to the sea, get more oxygen,
and then stalk you.
128
00:08:47,467 --> 00:08:50,970
You just lost at your own game.
You're outgunned and outmanned.
129
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:57,018
Did that go
the way you thought it was gonna go?
130
00:08:57,102 --> 00:08:58,269
Nope.
131
00:09:05,819 --> 00:09:07,403
Two minutes before the markets open,
132
00:09:07,487 --> 00:09:10,865
Pamela Boardman, CEO of Lendl Global,
ringing the opening bell.
133
00:09:10,949 --> 00:09:13,409
With Boardman is investment banker,David Ershon,
134
00:09:13,493 --> 00:09:16,954
who manages 40%of Lendl's $70-billion equity pool.
135
00:09:17,039 --> 00:09:19,874
How much did we lose?
136
00:09:19,958 --> 00:09:22,251
You may ring the bell now, Ms. Boardman.
137
00:09:22,336 --> 00:09:24,420
- $32.
- Million?
138
00:09:24,504 --> 00:09:26,714
No, billion.
139
00:09:28,841 --> 00:09:30,175
Shit!
140
00:09:31,052 --> 00:09:35,513
Chinatown. Three Triad gang members.
I popped two of them off the draw.
141
00:09:35,598 --> 00:09:37,307
- Bang, bang.
- Yeah.
142
00:09:37,391 --> 00:09:39,017
Then I raise up to take the leader out.
143
00:09:39,101 --> 00:09:40,602
Shit, I feel like I'm there now.
144
00:09:40,686 --> 00:09:43,188
I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof.
145
00:09:43,397 --> 00:09:45,273
He says, "Let's even the odds!"
146
00:09:45,566 --> 00:09:49,778
He tosses me down a Mossberg pump.
I send one through his chest.
147
00:09:50,821 --> 00:09:52,364
Game over, bitches.
148
00:09:54,450 --> 00:09:56,159
- All right.
- Yeah.
149
00:09:57,119 --> 00:10:02,082
Jimmy? Let's talk about
how that story made you feel.
150
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,792
Like my cock was made out of concrete.
151
00:10:05,127 --> 00:10:07,003
I know it's very tempting.
152
00:10:07,505 --> 00:10:09,172
You want to impress your friends.
153
00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:11,841
But this is serious stuff
we're dealing with, okay?
154
00:10:11,968 --> 00:10:15,345
This is firing your weapon
in the line of duty.
155
00:10:15,471 --> 00:10:16,513
Officer Hoitz?
156
00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:18,473
Oh, man.
157
00:10:18,557 --> 00:10:19,724
- Come on!
- Here we go.
158
00:10:19,809 --> 00:10:21,184
Would you like to share?
159
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:22,435
No, I'd rather not.
160
00:10:22,770 --> 00:10:25,188
Officer Hoitz, you've been coming here
for six months now,
161
00:10:25,273 --> 00:10:27,023
and you haven't said a word.
162
00:10:27,108 --> 00:10:29,442
This is a safe room, no judgment here.
163
00:10:29,527 --> 00:10:30,610
Jerkoff.
164
00:10:30,695 --> 00:10:33,029
That's judgment, Jimmy. Come on.
165
00:10:33,489 --> 00:10:34,614
I relive it every night.
166
00:10:35,992 --> 00:10:37,909
Bronx, October.
167
00:10:37,994 --> 00:10:39,786
Game 7 of the World Series.
168
00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:43,123
For all the marbles. High pressure,
unruly crowd, and I pulled tunnel duty.
169
00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:46,042
I mean, I saw a shadowy figure in the tunnel.
I told him to stop.
170
00:10:46,127 --> 00:10:48,044
Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a restricted area!
171
00:10:48,129 --> 00:10:49,462
Finally pulled my gun.
172
00:10:49,547 --> 00:10:50,839
Pulled a deadly weapon.
He started running at me.
173
00:10:50,923 --> 00:10:52,799
Don't make me shoot! I'll do it!
174
00:10:54,051 --> 00:10:55,927
Are you deaf? You hear me yell, "Freeze"?
175
00:10:56,012 --> 00:10:59,139
You dick! I'm Derek Jeter! You shot me!
176
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:01,975
- You cost me 20 grand on that game!
- Douche bag.
177
00:11:02,059 --> 00:11:03,518
Cost the city a championship.
178
00:11:03,602 --> 00:11:05,937
I was being groomed
for a top position in homicide.
179
00:11:06,146 --> 00:11:08,897
Now I'm stuck with a desk jockey partner.
Everybody calls me the Yankee Clipper.
180
00:11:08,982 --> 00:11:10,649
Because you shot Derek Jeter!
181
00:11:10,734 --> 00:11:12,026
He's a biracial angel.
182
00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:13,777
You should've shot A-Rod.
183
00:11:21,369 --> 00:11:22,745
Yo, Paper Bitch.
184
00:11:23,121 --> 00:11:24,788
- What's up, man?
- Hey. Hey, guys.
185
00:11:24,873 --> 00:11:26,582
- Paper Bitch.
- Paper Bitch.
186
00:11:26,666 --> 00:11:27,750
I don't like that, actually.
187
00:11:27,834 --> 00:11:29,626
I know you guys think it's fun,
but I don't like that name.
188
00:11:29,711 --> 00:11:31,295
Still working on
the Danson and Highsmith paperwork?
189
00:11:31,379 --> 00:11:33,464
- Shit.
- No, actually, actually, that's...
190
00:11:33,548 --> 00:11:34,923
What is this? That looks stupid.
191
00:11:35,008 --> 00:11:38,635
Guys, it's illegal permitting for construction.
Specifically, scaffolding.
192
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,262
Some of the guys were talking.
193
00:11:40,555 --> 00:11:43,140
They were like, "How come you've never
fired your weapon in the office before?"
194
00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:44,308
Good point.
195
00:11:44,684 --> 00:11:46,018
I'm sorry, I don't follow.
196
00:11:46,102 --> 00:11:47,561
You've never fired your weapon
in the office.
197
00:11:47,645 --> 00:11:49,772
We all have, you know.
It's called a desk pop.
198
00:11:49,856 --> 00:11:52,566
Fellas, look, I know
you don't respect me as a police officer.
199
00:11:52,650 --> 00:11:53,776
- Not true.
- I'm not stupid.
200
00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:56,320
I'm not gonna discharge my firearm
in the office.
201
00:11:56,404 --> 00:11:57,988
Gamble, listen to me.
I'll try to make it real clear.
202
00:11:58,073 --> 00:12:02,242
We honor the flag, and you crap on it
when you don't shoot your gun in the office.
203
00:12:02,327 --> 00:12:04,411
Jimmy.
When's the last time you had a desk pop?
204
00:12:04,496 --> 00:12:06,413
September '08.
205
00:12:06,831 --> 00:12:08,582
- Be a man. Do it.
- Now.
206
00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:10,334
- Please, please, do it.
- Pop one off!
207
00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:12,503
- There you go. Pop it off!
- Don't think, just go!
208
00:12:12,587 --> 00:12:14,129
- Here we go.
- Do it, yes.
209
00:12:15,715 --> 00:12:16,799
He did it!
210
00:12:16,925 --> 00:12:18,759
Hey! Shots fired!
211
00:12:18,843 --> 00:12:21,970
Hey, Terry, I did it! I did my first desk pop!
212
00:12:22,472 --> 00:12:24,056
It's a real thing, right?
213
00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:25,641
- A desk pop?
- Yeah.
214
00:12:25,725 --> 00:12:26,850
No, that's not real!
215
00:12:26,935 --> 00:12:30,896
They were so convincing in their argument,
they swung me.
216
00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:35,734
All right, Allen,
you're gonna have to hand over your gun.
217
00:12:35,819 --> 00:12:36,944
Yes, sir.
218
00:12:37,028 --> 00:12:41,031
Captain, you really wanna disarm this guy,
take out the batteries in the calculator.
219
00:12:41,115 --> 00:12:44,492
All right, I'm gonna give you this.
This is a dummy gun. I use it for ceremony.
220
00:12:44,576 --> 00:12:45,743
There.
221
00:12:47,079 --> 00:12:50,665
You get this back
when I feel you know how to handle it.
222
00:12:51,291 --> 00:12:54,961
Listen, guys.
I'm working two jobs. I'm working here.
223
00:12:55,045 --> 00:12:58,214
And I got another job
at Bed Bath and Beyond. Okay?
224
00:12:58,298 --> 00:13:00,925
I'm doing that just to put a kid through NYU
225
00:13:01,009 --> 00:13:04,762
so he can explore his bisexuality
and become a deejay.
226
00:13:04,847 --> 00:13:08,307
Now the last thing I need
is a ballistics report in the unit.
227
00:13:08,392 --> 00:13:10,768
I'm just gonna ask you guys,
please, come on, really.
228
00:13:10,853 --> 00:13:12,603
Just think about... Just be smart.
229
00:13:42,134 --> 00:13:43,593
211 in progress.
230
00:13:43,677 --> 00:13:46,762
They're using a wrecking ballto clean out Castien Jewelry.
231
00:13:46,847 --> 00:13:48,264
All right, we got it.
232
00:13:48,348 --> 00:13:50,683
- Good luck, guys. Have a good one.
- Allen, let's go.
233
00:13:50,767 --> 00:13:53,644
- No, I got work to do.
- What? This is work!
234
00:13:53,729 --> 00:13:57,315
Hey, yo! Danson and Highsmith.
We roll in heavy.
235
00:13:57,399 --> 00:13:58,733
You cream puffs, sit tight.
236
00:13:58,817 --> 00:14:00,151
You gotta be shitting me!
237
00:14:00,652 --> 00:14:03,321
You can't keep me cooped up in here, okay?
238
00:14:03,405 --> 00:14:06,490
I am a peacock! You gotta let me fly!
239
00:14:12,664 --> 00:14:14,874
Did he just...
Did he just call himself a peacock?
240
00:14:18,419 --> 00:14:19,628
Let's go! Let's go!
241
00:14:22,673 --> 00:14:23,757
Come on, fellas!
242
00:14:23,966 --> 00:14:26,384
Wednesday night is taco night
at Rikers Island!
243
00:14:40,233 --> 00:14:41,858
That's the second one this week!
244
00:14:43,194 --> 00:14:45,237
Hey, you monkeys! Stop!
245
00:14:45,905 --> 00:14:47,030
Let's go!
246
00:14:47,865 --> 00:14:48,949
Yeah!
247
00:14:49,492 --> 00:14:50,700
Heads up!
248
00:14:51,035 --> 00:14:52,160
Shit.
249
00:15:06,259 --> 00:15:07,342
Special Forces zipline.
250
00:15:07,969 --> 00:15:09,719
Cut that line! Cut it! Let's go!
251
00:15:10,972 --> 00:15:13,223
- These guys are pros.
- Let's go!
252
00:15:13,307 --> 00:15:14,683
You thinking what I'm thinking, partner?
253
00:15:15,309 --> 00:15:16,393
Aim for the bushes.
254
00:15:44,005 --> 00:15:47,674
Cops still argue to this daywhy Danson and Highsmith jumped.
255
00:15:47,758 --> 00:15:51,720
Maybe it was just pride, having survivedso many brushes with death.
256
00:15:51,804 --> 00:15:53,972
Maybe their egos pushed them off.
257
00:15:54,055 --> 00:15:56,765
I don't know. But that shit was crazy.
258
00:15:56,850 --> 00:16:01,562
Either way, there was a holein New York City, and it needed to be filled.
259
00:16:01,646 --> 00:16:03,939
Two days ago, this city wept.
260
00:16:04,024 --> 00:16:07,985
We lost two heroeswho gave everything for us,
261
00:16:08,069 --> 00:16:12,990
who paid that ultimate sacrificeso that we may walk these streets safely.
262
00:16:13,908 --> 00:16:15,492
There wasn't even an awning
in their direction.
263
00:16:15,577 --> 00:16:17,745
- No, I know.
- They just jumped 20 stories.
264
00:16:17,829 --> 00:16:19,163
Doesn't make sense, does it?
265
00:16:19,247 --> 00:16:23,125
I only hope God lets them take their.357swith them to heaven.
266
00:16:23,209 --> 00:16:26,545
It's our moment, Allen.
Our moment to step up and be the guys.
267
00:16:27,047 --> 00:16:29,715
- We're at a funeral. Show some respect.
- What?
268
00:16:30,008 --> 00:16:33,052
You don't think every other detective here
isn't thinking the same thing?
269
00:16:35,847 --> 00:16:37,931
Allen, listen to me.
Danson and Highsmith are gone.
270
00:16:38,016 --> 00:16:41,018
Their desks are empty.
Someone has to fill those seats.
271
00:16:41,102 --> 00:16:44,646
That someone is us, okay?
The city's dying for a hero.
272
00:16:44,981 --> 00:16:46,482
- Is it?
- Yeah.
273
00:16:46,566 --> 00:16:50,194
What about nine million
socially-conscious and unified citizens,
274
00:16:50,278 --> 00:16:52,029
all just stepping up and doing their part?
275
00:16:52,113 --> 00:16:54,365
As a little kid, didn't you dress up
and play cops and robbers?
276
00:16:54,449 --> 00:16:56,617
I'll tell you what I did as a little kid.
277
00:16:56,701 --> 00:16:59,036
I went to school and made my bed.
278
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,747
And at age 11, I audited my parents.
279
00:17:01,831 --> 00:17:05,125
And believe me, there were some
discrepancies, and I was grounded.
280
00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:07,086
What the hell are you?
281
00:17:07,170 --> 00:17:10,130
Well, well, well. What do we got here?
282
00:17:10,215 --> 00:17:14,301
Look at these two jamokes, would you?
One shot Jeter and the other shot an office.
283
00:17:17,597 --> 00:17:20,307
Have some decorum. We're at a funeral.
284
00:17:20,392 --> 00:17:22,601
You wanna dance, brolio?
285
00:17:22,685 --> 00:17:26,939
I will rock your body with big, nasty hooks.
You'll be pissing blood out of your ass.
286
00:17:27,023 --> 00:17:28,107
That's horrible.
287
00:17:28,191 --> 00:17:29,358
Why don't you step back, man?
288
00:17:29,441 --> 00:17:30,900
You touch him, I swear to God
289
00:17:30,984 --> 00:17:32,819
I'm gonna beat the shit out of you
with Allen's head.
290
00:17:32,903 --> 00:17:35,446
He's not gonna do that. That's hyperbole.
But that's a weird example.
291
00:17:35,531 --> 00:17:37,323
- You wanna go?
- I wanna go!
292
00:17:38,742 --> 00:17:40,118
- Get him off.
- Kick his ass, Martin.
293
00:17:40,744 --> 00:17:41,953
Yeah. How do you like that?
294
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,872
- Pull his hair!
- I love it.
295
00:17:45,082 --> 00:17:46,749
This hurts so good.
296
00:17:47,668 --> 00:17:49,836
- Very sorry for your loss, ma'am.
- What a lovely hat.
297
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,754
I love your shoes.
298
00:17:51,839 --> 00:17:53,589
- It's fine, it's fine.
- Go, go.
299
00:17:54,216 --> 00:17:55,341
Punish him!
300
00:17:55,926 --> 00:17:57,468
Oh, man.
301
00:17:58,137 --> 00:18:00,096
Do it. That's how we do it in the hood.
302
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,222
- Punish him.
- That's not even a move.
303
00:18:02,641 --> 00:18:04,892
I'm the winner.
I'm the winner, everybody saw it.
304
00:18:04,977 --> 00:18:07,228
What the hell is going on here?
305
00:18:07,312 --> 00:18:09,105
Two good men are dead,
306
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:12,275
and you guys are fighting over
who's gonna be the next hotshot?
307
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,484
Is that what's happening?
308
00:18:13,610 --> 00:18:15,153
Yes, that's exactly what's happening.
309
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:17,864
Let me tell you something.
310
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:19,866
- Sorry for your loss, Lorraine.
- Very sorry.
311
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:22,285
- Sorry, Lorraine.
- Sorry, Lorraine.
312
00:18:22,828 --> 00:18:24,120
Hi, I'm Jimmy.
313
00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:26,998
- Too soon?
- Why'd you say that?
314
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,167
I'll tell you something about those guys.
315
00:18:30,169 --> 00:18:33,838
They knew that to become a good cop,
you had to solve cases. Okay?
316
00:18:34,631 --> 00:18:37,884
Okay, and maybe you start
with the Castien robbery.
317
00:18:38,343 --> 00:18:40,553
Okay? So just watch it.
318
00:18:41,805 --> 00:18:43,723
Next time, me, you, library.
319
00:18:43,849 --> 00:18:45,975
- Not even close.
- Come on, guys. Guys, come on.
320
00:18:46,685 --> 00:18:48,644
- You are...
- I'm the winner!
321
00:18:48,937 --> 00:18:51,981
I didn't need you to stick up for me, okay?
I could've handled that myself.
322
00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:55,776
Hey, don't flatter yourself.
It's the partner's code. I had no choice.
323
00:18:55,861 --> 00:18:57,111
Move.
324
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:09,289
- 9:15, let's have a great day, everybody!
- Cut the shit!
325
00:19:16,297 --> 00:19:17,506
Good morning.
326
00:19:18,382 --> 00:19:21,676
We've got shots fired. 509 East 10th Street.
327
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,678
There are large amounts of cocaineon the scene.
328
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:24,888
Try to stay out of trouble, boys.
329
00:19:24,972 --> 00:19:26,640
There's no chance
you'd wanna go on that call, right?
330
00:19:26,724 --> 00:19:28,558
No chance. Too busy.
331
00:19:28,809 --> 00:19:33,188
All right, ladies. Starting to get the picture?
We're about to lock shit down.
332
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:35,273
- That's right.
- You girls stay here and get your type on.
333
00:19:35,358 --> 00:19:37,275
Go get them, guys.
Lot of energy, lot of focus.
334
00:19:37,401 --> 00:19:38,485
Shut up!
335
00:19:38,569 --> 00:19:40,820
Allen, could I see you in the hallway
for a second?
336
00:19:40,905 --> 00:19:42,364
I... I'm super busy right now, Terry.
337
00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:44,324
No, no, no, I know. This'll be real quick.
338
00:19:44,408 --> 00:19:46,284
It's about the construction permits
you were talking about.
339
00:19:46,369 --> 00:19:48,370
- The scaffolding violations?
- This is our thing, yeah.
340
00:19:49,997 --> 00:19:51,581
So, what do you got?
341
00:19:51,666 --> 00:19:54,167
I got this! I'll put one right in your neck.
342
00:19:54,252 --> 00:19:55,335
What are you doing?
343
00:19:55,419 --> 00:19:58,129
Let's go. We're going to that call.
344
00:19:58,214 --> 00:19:59,798
- What is this?
- Shut up.
345
00:19:59,882 --> 00:20:02,217
We're going to the car,
and we're going after this case.
346
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:03,718
- You're not gonna shoot me.
- I won't?
347
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,262
- No.
- I shot Jeter.
348
00:20:05,346 --> 00:20:07,514
- That was an accident.
- Was it?
349
00:20:07,598 --> 00:20:09,140
- Now move.
- Okay.
350
00:20:09,850 --> 00:20:11,184
Hey.
351
00:20:11,269 --> 00:20:14,479
Does anybody see this?
He's got a gun on me.
352
00:20:14,564 --> 00:20:16,356
I'm being kidnapped.
353
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,526
Really, we're in a police station
and no one is interested in this?
354
00:20:19,735 --> 00:20:22,153
- So, then what happened?
- What do you think happened?
355
00:20:22,238 --> 00:20:25,615
I woke up, I took the belt off my neck,
and I got in my car, and I got out of there.
356
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:27,242
Talk about a wild weekend, right?
357
00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:30,620
I thought I was gonna
have to shoot my way out.
358
00:20:30,705 --> 00:20:32,872
What are you gonna do, though, you know?
Bar mitzvahs.
359
00:20:35,251 --> 00:20:37,127
What the hell is this?
360
00:20:37,211 --> 00:20:39,921
It's my car. It's a Prius.
361
00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:43,675
I feel like we're literally driving around
in a vagina.
362
00:20:43,758 --> 00:20:46,594
Detective Hoitz and Gamble
are on that 518 on East 10th.
363
00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:48,762
Negatory, Martin and Fosse,
two minutes out.
364
00:20:48,847 --> 00:20:50,556
We'll just see who's there first.
365
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,350
You stay out of our crime scene!
You hear me?
366
00:20:53,518 --> 00:20:55,060
Go, go, go!
367
00:20:55,478 --> 00:20:58,188
You feel that, Allen?
That tingling in your balls?
368
00:20:58,273 --> 00:21:00,149
Big metal butterflies fluttering around
in your stomach?
369
00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:01,859
Are you sure
you don't have testicular cancer?
370
00:21:01,943 --> 00:21:03,986
I got something to get you going.
371
00:21:06,823 --> 00:21:08,991
Let's go do some damage!
372
00:21:10,410 --> 00:21:11,660
Nope.
373
00:21:13,997 --> 00:21:15,164
What the hell is that?
374
00:21:15,498 --> 00:21:17,625
LRB. Little River Band.
375
00:21:17,959 --> 00:21:20,294
This music makes me feel like
I'm going shopping for a training bra.
376
00:21:20,629 --> 00:21:23,088
You know what?
We go with no music, okay?
377
00:21:23,173 --> 00:21:24,298
- Fine.
- Say bye.
378
00:21:24,382 --> 00:21:25,507
No, no, no, don't say bye...
379
00:21:25,592 --> 00:21:27,301
You just signed
your own death warrant, Hoitz!
380
00:21:27,385 --> 00:21:30,596
Allen, punch that accelerator
or I will shoot you in the foot!
381
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,097
America!
382
00:21:32,432 --> 00:21:34,725
Allen! Allen, hit the brake!
383
00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:38,479
Seriously, slow the car down!
We're approaching the crime scene!
384
00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:39,647
Terry, I'm coming in.
385
00:21:39,731 --> 00:21:41,565
You're gonna smash
right through the tape! Allen!
386
00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:43,317
Dude! What...
387
00:21:48,531 --> 00:21:50,658
That's a lot of cocaine.
388
00:21:51,618 --> 00:21:54,620
Did you yell "America"
when you hit the accelerator?
389
00:21:54,704 --> 00:21:56,497
Nope. No. No.
390
00:21:57,207 --> 00:21:59,541
I've never actually put my foot
all the way down
391
00:22:00,335 --> 00:22:03,545
to the ground with the accelerator like that.
392
00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:07,007
It got me slightly aroused.
393
00:22:09,552 --> 00:22:11,136
Here we go.
394
00:22:13,223 --> 00:22:16,684
Way to put your stamp
on the crime scene, guys.
395
00:22:16,768 --> 00:22:19,186
- Prius, huh?
- Yep, yep.
396
00:22:19,269 --> 00:22:20,520
Good mileage?
397
00:22:20,604 --> 00:22:21,979
- Outstanding.
- Yeah.
398
00:22:22,064 --> 00:22:24,649
Did this come with a dental dam?
399
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,276
- No.
- Get it?
400
00:22:28,779 --> 00:22:30,738
My Suburban shit one of these last night.
401
00:22:30,823 --> 00:22:32,448
I didn't know they put tampons on wheels.
402
00:22:34,034 --> 00:22:35,201
We've had our fun, huh?
403
00:22:35,285 --> 00:22:38,246
Looks like Scarface sneezed on your car.
404
00:22:38,997 --> 00:22:40,123
All right, everybody!
405
00:22:40,207 --> 00:22:43,251
I'm gonna need you all to back up now.
We're taking over.
406
00:22:43,335 --> 00:22:45,753
"At the crime scene, LOL."
407
00:22:45,838 --> 00:22:47,547
- Good tweet, good tweet.
- Yeah, thanks.
408
00:22:47,923 --> 00:22:51,676
America has always been definedby its excess.
409
00:22:52,886 --> 00:22:55,346
The Grand Canyon,professional sports contracts.
410
00:22:55,431 --> 00:22:57,849
Wendy's Baconator, extra bacon.
411
00:22:57,933 --> 00:23:01,811
I myself have 18 Lamborghinis
412
00:23:02,980 --> 00:23:04,856
and a Subaru station wagon.
413
00:23:05,190 --> 00:23:08,109
And it's because of this excessthat I have flourished.
414
00:23:08,193 --> 00:23:11,779
I implore you, please, do not stop profiting.
415
00:23:11,864 --> 00:23:15,616
Live for excess. It's the American way.
416
00:23:22,166 --> 00:23:23,458
Hello.
417
00:23:24,168 --> 00:23:27,336
Mr. Ershon? I believe this call's for you.
418
00:23:30,716 --> 00:23:31,883
Sir David.
419
00:23:31,967 --> 00:23:35,553
David. You're not returning my calls,
so I'd like you to meet Roger Wesley.
420
00:23:35,679 --> 00:23:37,305
- G'day, mate.
- Hey.
421
00:23:37,723 --> 00:23:39,974
Roger and his team are gonna babysit you
because I don't trust you,
422
00:23:40,058 --> 00:23:41,392
because I think you're going to take off.
423
00:23:42,144 --> 00:23:44,896
Pamela, this is ridiculous.
I'm not going anywhere.
424
00:23:45,022 --> 00:23:47,398
David, listen,
the Lendl quarterlies come out on the 26th.
425
00:23:47,524 --> 00:23:50,318
You have until then to give me my money.
I'm not reporting any losses, David.
426
00:23:50,402 --> 00:23:52,236
I have zeroed in on a new investor.
427
00:23:52,362 --> 00:23:55,406
Well, then, you get their money,make it disappear, and then pay us back.
428
00:23:55,490 --> 00:23:58,742
Yes, yes, I'll tell him
he doesn't need to keep watching me.
429
00:23:58,868 --> 00:24:01,328
- David!
- Okay, sweetheart, bye-bye.
430
00:24:01,412 --> 00:24:05,832
Yeah. She overreacted. She's a woman.
So, you're good to go.
431
00:24:06,250 --> 00:24:07,375
Heard everything, mate.
432
00:24:07,585 --> 00:24:08,752
Ladies and gentlemen,
433
00:24:08,836 --> 00:24:13,340
guess who gave me the secrets
to making my first billion dollars.
434
00:24:15,259 --> 00:24:16,718
That man there.
435
00:24:17,512 --> 00:24:19,513
Go! Go!
436
00:24:19,764 --> 00:24:21,598
- Side!
- Step aside, please.
437
00:24:22,433 --> 00:24:24,184
You don't think I'm a real cop, do you?
438
00:24:24,268 --> 00:24:26,520
No, I don't. I've said that
directly to your face numerous times.
439
00:24:26,604 --> 00:24:27,687
I was really honest about that.
440
00:24:27,772 --> 00:24:30,273
I'm working on a huge case, all right?
441
00:24:30,399 --> 00:24:32,526
Property owner with seven buildings
under construction.
442
00:24:32,610 --> 00:24:35,695
He hasn't applied
for a single scaffolding permit.
443
00:24:35,780 --> 00:24:39,783
Now, according to Ask Jeeves, this perp
is at the Plaza Hotel speaking right now.
444
00:24:39,867 --> 00:24:43,578
- That's your big case? Scaffolding permits?
- Yeah.
445
00:24:44,205 --> 00:24:46,915
Guess what? You're coming with me.
446
00:24:47,625 --> 00:24:49,584
It's a wooden gun.
447
00:24:52,046 --> 00:24:53,922
That hurts, man!
448
00:24:56,133 --> 00:25:00,053
I've always got Little River Band
loaded up here. I've got six disks in here.
449
00:25:00,888 --> 00:25:04,057
Claude, meet me outside,
at the back of the service entrance.
450
00:25:04,141 --> 00:25:06,560
I'm flying Air Singapore.
451
00:25:06,644 --> 00:25:08,395
- Hey, Douglas. How's the wife?
- She died.
452
00:25:08,479 --> 00:25:09,563
Attaboy!
453
00:25:09,647 --> 00:25:11,606
I'll be there in two minutes exactly.
454
00:25:11,774 --> 00:25:15,318
Another thing I hate about you?
You always pay in exact change.
455
00:25:15,444 --> 00:25:17,737
You're just mad
because I have a nice change purse.
456
00:25:17,822 --> 00:25:18,905
Why do you even care?
457
00:25:18,990 --> 00:25:21,992
How can I help it? You know what?
You know what's worse?
458
00:25:22,076 --> 00:25:24,077
The way you fart.
Even your farts, they're not manly.
459
00:25:24,161 --> 00:25:25,328
You're being ridiculous.
460
00:25:25,413 --> 00:25:27,998
They sound like a baby blowing out
the candles on a birthday cake.
461
00:25:28,082 --> 00:25:29,332
- What?
- Like a little...
462
00:25:29,458 --> 00:25:31,334
- You know what bugs me about you?
- What?
463
00:25:31,419 --> 00:25:32,752
I'm pretty sure you've never voted.
464
00:25:32,836 --> 00:25:36,171
No, I vote. Sports radio, AM 880.
Play of the week.
465
00:25:36,256 --> 00:25:38,591
You're like a child in a leatherjacket.
That's what you're like.
466
00:25:38,675 --> 00:25:39,758
Get out of the way, man!
467
00:25:39,843 --> 00:25:41,677
Wait. Are you David Ershon?
468
00:25:42,304 --> 00:25:45,097
Yeah, well, it's Sir David Ershon,
but I don't bother with the...
469
00:25:45,181 --> 00:25:48,434
Anyway, little bit of a rush, gentlemen,
if you don't mind. Thank you.
470
00:25:48,518 --> 00:25:51,770
- Excuse me, but you're under arrest, okay?
- What?
471
00:25:51,855 --> 00:25:56,775
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you do or say can be used...
472
00:25:56,860 --> 00:25:58,944
- What's the next part?
- As a floatation device.
473
00:25:59,029 --> 00:26:00,529
As a floatation device.
474
00:26:00,655 --> 00:26:04,199
You know what? That's very funny.
I have never Miranda-ed anyone before.
475
00:26:04,284 --> 00:26:06,035
- Really?
- Are you guys for real?
476
00:26:06,161 --> 00:26:07,202
Am I being punk'd?
477
00:26:08,538 --> 00:26:09,622
Detective Allen Gamble.
478
00:26:09,706 --> 00:26:12,708
We are in a cocaine-covered car,
and we are bringing in a perp.
479
00:26:12,792 --> 00:26:15,544
- One David Ershon.
- 175 pounds.
480
00:26:15,670 --> 00:26:17,713
- Thank you. 175 pounds.
- Shut up, man, shut up!
481
00:26:17,881 --> 00:26:21,717
Martin and Fosse are probably on Studio B
talking to Shepard Smith right now.
482
00:26:21,801 --> 00:26:24,637
We arrest this jerkoff
for a scaffolding permit?
483
00:26:24,721 --> 00:26:26,889
Wait, wait, wait,
what am I being arrested for?
484
00:26:27,015 --> 00:26:28,891
For scaffolding permit violation...
485
00:26:37,901 --> 00:26:39,735
- I got my insurance card. Somewhere.
- Easy, mate.
486
00:26:39,861 --> 00:26:42,237
- What the hell? You ran right into us!
- Stand over there.
487
00:26:42,739 --> 00:26:43,864
Wood?
488
00:26:44,407 --> 00:26:45,491
What the...
489
00:26:45,575 --> 00:26:47,409
- Couldn't see the car. It's big enough, mate.
- What?
490
00:26:47,494 --> 00:26:49,078
Do not let these men take me.
491
00:26:50,914 --> 00:26:51,997
Hi.
492
00:26:53,083 --> 00:26:54,583
Why's she looking at you like that?
493
00:26:54,709 --> 00:26:56,168
That's my car!
494
00:26:56,252 --> 00:27:00,047
Hey, hey, hey!
We didn't exchange insurance information!
495
00:27:00,423 --> 00:27:01,924
Hey! Excuse me!
496
00:27:02,842 --> 00:27:05,260
Why did they take our shoes?
497
00:27:05,345 --> 00:27:08,764
- What the hell just happened?
- Where's my iPhone?
498
00:27:09,932 --> 00:27:12,016
I think we've walked 30 blocks, man.
499
00:27:12,101 --> 00:27:17,188
I don't get why we can't just call the office
and have a squad car come pick us up.
500
00:27:17,272 --> 00:27:19,774
No. They took our shoes,
our guns, and our car.
501
00:27:19,858 --> 00:27:21,442
There's no way that's going out on the radio.
502
00:27:21,860 --> 00:27:24,946
Look, if we're gonna do this together,
there's some issues we need to settle, okay?
503
00:27:25,072 --> 00:27:28,616
I mean, you said I had a weak chin.
You said the way I pee is feminine.
504
00:27:28,742 --> 00:27:29,951
How do you think that makes me feel?
505
00:27:30,035 --> 00:27:35,123
I mean, that list you have,
you put a lot of thought in. It's weird.
506
00:27:35,207 --> 00:27:37,458
I hear you.
507
00:27:37,543 --> 00:27:42,296
Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start.
508
00:27:42,381 --> 00:27:44,966
All right. Fresh start.
509
00:27:46,719 --> 00:27:50,304
Maybe we should call ourselves
the Febreze Brothers,
510
00:27:50,389 --> 00:27:51,973
'cause it's feeling so fresh right now.
511
00:27:53,475 --> 00:27:54,600
Right?
512
00:27:54,893 --> 00:27:57,770
Let's do another fresh start, 'cause
I just wanted to punch you in the face.
513
00:27:57,980 --> 00:28:00,648
Fine, fresh start.
514
00:28:00,733 --> 00:28:02,483
It's the last one.
515
00:28:02,609 --> 00:28:04,485
I have to be able to express myself
and say things, you know.
516
00:28:07,489 --> 00:28:10,241
- Okay, folks! Everybody, listen up!
- Listen up!
517
00:28:10,325 --> 00:28:12,243
Got a high profile kidnapping.
518
00:28:12,453 --> 00:28:15,747
David Ershon, wealthy banker,
multinational team.
519
00:28:15,831 --> 00:28:17,915
Maybe a sleeper cell, but it's too early to tell.
520
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:22,420
Hey, Bilbo Baggins. Where are your shoes?
'Cause your feet are black.
521
00:28:22,504 --> 00:28:24,505
Who cares? It's not important, okay?
522
00:28:24,590 --> 00:28:27,133
Hoitz, Gamble, Captain. Not good.
523
00:28:29,011 --> 00:28:30,678
- Bye, guys.
- Bye-bye.
524
00:28:30,804 --> 00:28:31,846
Come on.
525
00:28:32,347 --> 00:28:35,516
Guys, this is Don Beaman,
the attorney for Mr. Ershon.
526
00:28:35,601 --> 00:28:37,685
Roger Wesley, head of his private security.
527
00:28:37,811 --> 00:28:39,687
- Hey, how are you? You son of a bitch!
- Hey, hey, hey!
528
00:28:39,813 --> 00:28:41,522
Hey, Terry! Take it easy!
529
00:28:41,648 --> 00:28:43,608
- That's the guy who took our guns, Captain.
- And my shoes!
530
00:28:43,692 --> 00:28:46,694
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you
identify yourselves as police officers?
531
00:28:46,819 --> 00:28:47,861
What is this?
532
00:28:47,987 --> 00:28:50,280
- Allen, tell me. Did you?
- No, we did not.
533
00:28:50,364 --> 00:28:54,367
Sorry, gentlemen.
We thought you were abducting Mr. Ershon.
534
00:28:54,952 --> 00:28:56,119
It's only protocol.
535
00:28:56,329 --> 00:29:00,957
Mr. Ershon has agreed to correct this
scaffolding situation. The case is closed.
536
00:29:01,042 --> 00:29:03,543
I've taken care of all necessary paperwork.
537
00:29:03,628 --> 00:29:05,712
And you fellas, at this point,
should just be glad that
538
00:29:05,838 --> 00:29:09,299
Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges
for excessive use of force.
539
00:29:09,383 --> 00:29:10,884
- Thank you, Captain.
- You bet.
540
00:29:11,385 --> 00:29:12,969
Australian?
541
00:29:13,054 --> 00:29:14,513
Special Forces, right?
542
00:29:14,889 --> 00:29:17,390
Best watch your step, Detective.
543
00:29:17,517 --> 00:29:20,227
There are three things I love in this world.
544
00:29:20,311 --> 00:29:21,394
Kylie Minogue,
545
00:29:22,980 --> 00:29:25,732
small dimples just above
a woman's buttocks...
546
00:29:25,858 --> 00:29:27,234
Beautiful features.
547
00:29:27,318 --> 00:29:30,070
...and the fear in a man's eye
who knows I'm about to hurt him.
548
00:29:30,154 --> 00:29:34,658
Hey! Shake your dicks.
This pissing contest is over.
549
00:29:34,742 --> 00:29:36,076
Come on, man.
550
00:29:38,621 --> 00:29:41,748
All right, look, they returned your shoes.
551
00:29:42,208 --> 00:29:46,419
And they returned your weapons.
Here you go, Terry.
552
00:29:48,047 --> 00:29:50,715
Allen, someone was nice enough
to put linseed oil on it,
553
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,635
some kind of stain on that,
dark walnut or something.
554
00:29:53,761 --> 00:29:56,304
You might wanna think about
dropping them a thank you note.
555
00:29:56,430 --> 00:29:57,514
Okay.
556
00:29:57,598 --> 00:29:58,723
You're mad at us, huh, Gene?
557
00:29:58,808 --> 00:30:02,519
First off, don't call me Gene.
I'm your captain.
558
00:30:02,603 --> 00:30:05,188
Guys, do you remember
the "Be Smart" speech?
559
00:30:05,273 --> 00:30:06,398
- Sure.
- All right.
560
00:30:06,482 --> 00:30:09,109
Well, what did you do?
What'd you do about it?
561
00:30:09,235 --> 00:30:11,987
The opposite.
We were not smart, Captain Gene.
562
00:30:12,113 --> 00:30:14,030
It's just "Captain."
563
00:30:14,115 --> 00:30:17,159
Just "Captain." It's not "Captain Gene."
I don't have a kiddie show.
564
00:30:17,285 --> 00:30:18,910
That sounds creepy, "Captain Gene."
565
00:30:19,287 --> 00:30:23,331
Police mistakenly arrestinvestment banker, David Ershon.
566
00:30:23,456 --> 00:30:26,333
Was he the victim of financial profiling?
567
00:30:26,459 --> 00:30:31,130
Financial profiling? That's crazy.
He broke the law and we arrested him.
568
00:30:31,256 --> 00:30:35,301
That wasn't a security team. He said,
"Don't let these people take me."
569
00:30:35,427 --> 00:30:37,803
I mean, when you hear hooves,
you think horses, not zebras.
570
00:30:39,139 --> 00:30:40,890
What about donkeys or deer?
571
00:30:40,974 --> 00:30:42,975
They have hooves.
What about bovine creatures?
572
00:30:44,978 --> 00:30:47,062
Were you just thinking to yourself,
"Fresh start"?
573
00:30:47,147 --> 00:30:50,107
- Yeah.
- Yeah. I could see it.
574
00:30:50,192 --> 00:30:52,276
Listen, why don't we just
go over to my place?
575
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:53,694
We'll talk the case down.
576
00:30:53,820 --> 00:30:55,821
We can have a little dinner.
You can meet Sheila.
577
00:30:55,947 --> 00:30:58,616
Two cops talking down a case
while eating food, all right?
578
00:30:58,700 --> 00:30:59,867
- It's not dinner.
- Fine.
579
00:30:59,993 --> 00:31:01,744
And let me apologize in advance, okay,
580
00:31:01,828 --> 00:31:04,205
in case my wife acts like a world-class bitch.
581
00:31:04,331 --> 00:31:09,501
She's a big old broad,
and she likes to wield it.
582
00:31:10,170 --> 00:31:15,507
Okay, so I put together a little bio,
complete with pictures of Mr. David Ershon.
583
00:31:15,634 --> 00:31:19,011
I used Adobe Premiere.
I like to do a little weekend editing.
584
00:31:19,137 --> 00:31:22,681
I recently just cut three minutes
out of Goodfellas.
585
00:31:22,807 --> 00:31:26,018
David Ershon is currentlythe CEO of Ershon Consortium.
586
00:31:26,144 --> 00:31:27,186
Who's that talking?
587
00:31:27,312 --> 00:31:29,813
It's the Frontline Narration App.
It's only 99 cents.
588
00:31:29,898 --> 00:31:33,901
Ershon Consortium, current financialinvestments exceed $70 billion.
589
00:31:34,027 --> 00:31:37,029
His largest clients includeSchering-Plough and Lendl Global.
590
00:31:37,155 --> 00:31:39,823
Lendl Global has those TV ads
where I can't figure out what they do.
591
00:31:39,908 --> 00:31:42,993
Yeah, oil, media, health care,
you've probably heard their jingle.
592
00:31:43,078 --> 00:31:46,038
Lendl Global, we're in everything
593
00:31:46,164 --> 00:31:48,958
David Ershon is often foundin the company of Judge Scalia...
594
00:31:49,042 --> 00:31:51,377
- Yeah.
...and the lead singer of Maroon 5.
595
00:31:51,503 --> 00:31:53,295
I mean, this guy could be
connected to drug cartels,
596
00:31:53,380 --> 00:31:56,215
black market organ sales,
human trafficking, all of it.
597
00:31:56,341 --> 00:31:57,925
How do you get that
from anything I just said?
598
00:31:58,050 --> 00:31:59,801
Hey, guys! Soup's on.
599
00:31:59,885 --> 00:32:01,261
What do you mean?
600
00:32:03,389 --> 00:32:04,472
Hi.
601
00:32:04,556 --> 00:32:06,140
- Hi.
- You must be Terry.
602
00:32:06,225 --> 00:32:09,435
I'm sorry I've been hiding, honey,
but this dinner was tricky.
603
00:32:10,854 --> 00:32:13,564
- Who are you?
- I'm Dr. Sheila Gamble, his wife.
604
00:32:13,899 --> 00:32:16,484
- Come on, seriously. Who is that?
- His old lady.
605
00:32:16,568 --> 00:32:19,070
- Sweetie, it's a workstation.
- Got it.
606
00:32:19,196 --> 00:32:22,699
And you come in here,
dressed like a hobo, it's distracting.
607
00:32:22,783 --> 00:32:24,742
I know you're working. I'm so sorry.
608
00:32:24,868 --> 00:32:26,828
- Come on, seriously.
- Come on, what?
609
00:32:26,912 --> 00:32:28,121
Who is that?
610
00:32:28,247 --> 00:32:30,248
That's the old...
That's the old ball and chain.
611
00:32:32,584 --> 00:32:34,127
Get over here.
612
00:32:34,253 --> 00:32:35,837
- Not... Not right now.
- Okay.
613
00:32:35,921 --> 00:32:37,922
Look, they're not all first-round picks, okay?
614
00:32:38,299 --> 00:32:39,757
Come on, are you gonna tell me who that is?
615
00:32:40,592 --> 00:32:44,095
- Are you really Allen's wife?
- I know.
616
00:32:44,221 --> 00:32:47,640
People are shocked
because he's Episcopalian and I'm Catholic,
617
00:32:48,309 --> 00:32:49,767
but somehow it works.
618
00:32:50,477 --> 00:32:53,104
- Are you gonna change?
- I already did.
619
00:32:53,272 --> 00:32:55,398
It's no big deal. You look really, really nice.
620
00:32:55,482 --> 00:32:59,569
Terry, you don't have to be polite, okay?
She looks kind of shitty.
621
00:32:59,653 --> 00:33:00,987
Don't speak to her like that, Allen.
622
00:33:01,113 --> 00:33:05,616
Look, if I put that in my Cosmo Fashion App,
you'd probably get a D-.
623
00:33:05,743 --> 00:33:07,702
Allen and his apps. He loves them.
624
00:33:07,786 --> 00:33:11,289
You know he's designed three of his own?
One of them... Can I tell him?
625
00:33:11,915 --> 00:33:13,791
One of them,
you can take a picture of anybody's face,
626
00:33:13,917 --> 00:33:16,669
and it'll tell you
what the back of his head looks like.
627
00:33:16,962 --> 00:33:18,254
- Faceback.
- Faceback.
628
00:33:18,339 --> 00:33:20,423
Got some horrible reviews
coming out of the gate.
629
00:33:20,799 --> 00:33:21,924
- It's gonna hit.
- It's gonna catch.
630
00:33:22,009 --> 00:33:24,052
Why are you with Allen?
631
00:33:24,136 --> 00:33:28,014
I mean, that's not what I meant.
I meant, how did you guys meet?
632
00:33:28,140 --> 00:33:30,850
It's a really typical
"how we met" story, Terry.
633
00:33:30,976 --> 00:33:32,268
You're gonna be bored by it.
634
00:33:32,353 --> 00:33:36,356
I was a dancer for the Knicks while
finishing my residency at Columbia Hospital.
635
00:33:36,481 --> 00:33:38,440
Allen came into the ER
with poison ivy on his rectum.
636
00:33:38,524 --> 00:33:39,524
Yes.
637
00:33:40,026 --> 00:33:42,652
Needless to say, I fell for him immediately.
638
00:33:43,071 --> 00:33:47,282
We immediately spent the next three days
at the La Quinta Inn,
639
00:33:48,034 --> 00:33:50,327
- and, to be honest, we didn't speak.
- Three days
640
00:33:50,411 --> 00:33:52,996
of not communicating once verbally.
641
00:33:53,289 --> 00:33:55,332
We had actually, without knowing it,
642
00:33:55,416 --> 00:34:00,712
developed a language of eye flutters
and non-verbal gestures.
643
00:34:00,922 --> 00:34:03,590
You know, Terry,
it was just this primal connection.
644
00:34:04,050 --> 00:34:09,054
After those three days of non-verbal
communication and a whole lot of loving,
645
00:34:09,263 --> 00:34:12,599
I had to go to a specialist
to get my hips realigned.
646
00:34:12,975 --> 00:34:16,603
Similar to operating on a German shepherd
647
00:34:17,355 --> 00:34:20,941
- when they have hip dysplasia.
- Very painful.
648
00:34:21,275 --> 00:34:25,278
It's funny, it's like a scene from that
one movie, always forget the name of it.
649
00:34:25,405 --> 00:34:26,530
- With Meg Ryan.
- Yes.
650
00:34:26,614 --> 00:34:29,616
I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan
meets a guy with poison ivy up his ass.
651
00:34:29,700 --> 00:34:32,119
- I'll think of it. I'll think of it.
- Okay.
652
00:34:32,203 --> 00:34:33,870
So, what about you, Terry?
Do you have a girl?
653
00:34:33,955 --> 00:34:35,956
I did, yeah.
654
00:34:36,082 --> 00:34:38,542
We were supposed to get married,
but she backed out. It's complicated.
655
00:34:38,626 --> 00:34:41,044
- Terry shot Derek Jeter.
- Shut up, Allen. This was before.
656
00:34:41,129 --> 00:34:42,379
That's okay.
657
00:34:42,463 --> 00:34:44,464
She's Got Mail.
That's the name of the movie.
658
00:34:44,549 --> 00:34:46,466
That's it! Honey!
659
00:34:46,592 --> 00:34:47,634
- With Tom Hanks?
- Right.
660
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:48,802
- And Meg Ryan.
- Meg Ryan.
661
00:34:48,928 --> 00:34:49,970
He didn't have poison ivy up his ass.
662
00:34:50,096 --> 00:34:51,388
- Yes, he did.
- Yes, he did. Yeah.
663
00:34:51,472 --> 00:34:52,681
Way up there.
664
00:34:53,182 --> 00:34:55,767
Well, Terry, can't thank you enough
for coming by. What a...
665
00:34:55,893 --> 00:34:57,477
What a wonderful, lovely evening.
Thank you.
666
00:34:57,562 --> 00:35:01,189
- It was so, so nice meeting you, Terry.
- It was my pleasure. Thank you.
667
00:35:01,274 --> 00:35:05,777
And remember, all I ask of you is,
you don't let him get hurt, Terry.
668
00:35:05,903 --> 00:35:08,238
- She tells me that every day before I leave.
- Yep, I do.
669
00:35:08,573 --> 00:35:11,408
I come downstairs and I make him
his fresh-cut strawberries,
670
00:35:11,533 --> 00:35:14,285
and I say, "Listen, my little sugar balls,
whatever you do today,
671
00:35:14,411 --> 00:35:15,661
"you just don't get hurt."
672
00:35:15,745 --> 00:35:17,079
Yeah. Every morning.
673
00:35:17,539 --> 00:35:21,000
And then I show him my breasts,
and I say, "These are waiting for you
674
00:35:21,084 --> 00:35:22,209
- "when you get back home."
- Right.
675
00:35:22,294 --> 00:35:25,171
You know, Terry, they're not
the biggest breasts he's ever seen,
676
00:35:25,255 --> 00:35:27,673
- but, man, are they perky.
- Not by a long shot.
677
00:35:27,757 --> 00:35:30,426
- And they are firm, and they are yours.
- You're a nice lady.
678
00:35:32,262 --> 00:35:33,429
Thank you for coming.
679
00:35:33,805 --> 00:35:37,766
Detectives Hoitz and Gamble?Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Over.
680
00:35:37,893 --> 00:35:38,934
Go for Hoitz.
681
00:35:39,060 --> 00:35:40,561
- We found your red Prius.
- Great.
682
00:35:40,645 --> 00:35:42,730
It was trying to vote for Ralph Nader.
683
00:35:42,814 --> 00:35:45,024
- Come on.
- Okay, sugar balls, listen up.
684
00:35:45,108 --> 00:35:46,400
There's gonna be fingerprints on that car.
685
00:35:46,485 --> 00:35:48,819
Tomorrow, we're gonna run those
fingerprints through the system.
686
00:35:48,945 --> 00:35:52,573
And if we get a hit, this case is gonna
heat up faster than a junkie's spoon.
687
00:35:52,657 --> 00:35:54,992
You do one thing
when you wake up tomorrow, bring it.
688
00:35:55,118 --> 00:35:56,160
- Okay.
- Thank you, Sheila.
689
00:35:56,286 --> 00:35:57,328
He'll bring it.
690
00:35:57,454 --> 00:35:59,038
- Good night!
- Good night.
691
00:35:59,122 --> 00:36:00,456
Thank you, Sheila.
692
00:36:00,790 --> 00:36:03,834
- Bye, Terry!
- Bye, Sheila! I'll never forget tonight.
693
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:05,711
- Bye, Terry!
- All right, Allen, whatever. Go inside.
694
00:36:05,795 --> 00:36:06,879
Bye, Sheila!
695
00:36:06,963 --> 00:36:08,464
- Night!
- See you... See you, Terry!
696
00:36:08,965 --> 00:36:10,466
Bye, Sheila.
697
00:36:14,429 --> 00:36:17,014
I don't know if he heard me. Bye, Terry!
698
00:36:17,140 --> 00:36:18,682
Bye, Sheila!
699
00:36:22,145 --> 00:36:26,524
Well, here she is. They left her
under an overpass for the night.
700
00:36:26,650 --> 00:36:28,275
You find anything?
701
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,111
Yeah. We found a lot of stuff.
702
00:36:31,196 --> 00:36:33,155
From bodily fluid and hair samples,
703
00:36:33,281 --> 00:36:36,283
we determined that a bunch of old,
homeless dudes had an orgy in the car.
704
00:36:36,368 --> 00:36:38,577
- Oh, God.
- Yeah.
705
00:36:38,995 --> 00:36:40,579
You know what that's called
when they do that in there?
706
00:36:40,705 --> 00:36:42,164
That's called a soup kitchen.
707
00:36:42,249 --> 00:36:43,832
It's pretty rough stuff.
708
00:36:43,917 --> 00:36:47,419
Not long after that,
a mama raccoon came along
709
00:36:47,503 --> 00:36:48,920
and gave birth on the floor.
710
00:36:49,755 --> 00:36:51,339
Placenta blew out
all over the back window there.
711
00:36:52,466 --> 00:36:55,093
Yeah, and then to top it all off,
some joker comes along
712
00:36:55,386 --> 00:36:58,471
takes himself a nifty little dump
in the driver's seat.
713
00:36:58,806 --> 00:37:00,556
I think he knew you guys were cops,
714
00:37:00,933 --> 00:37:03,434
because this is what I would call
a spite shit.
715
00:37:03,894 --> 00:37:05,311
You were able to determine all of that
716
00:37:05,396 --> 00:37:07,230
- from the hair and fluid samples?
- Oh, yeah.
717
00:37:07,606 --> 00:37:09,482
What about fingerprints?
You find any fingerprints?
718
00:37:09,566 --> 00:37:11,609
- Nope, couldn't get a one.
- Found a cell phone.
719
00:37:12,069 --> 00:37:13,278
Yeah, that's mine.
720
00:37:13,404 --> 00:37:14,821
Any signs of a struggle or spent shells?
721
00:37:15,447 --> 00:37:19,617
No. Believe me, everybody that was
in on this orgy was more than willing.
722
00:37:19,702 --> 00:37:21,786
In fact, they even left you a note here.
723
00:37:21,870 --> 00:37:25,581
"Thanks for the F-shack.
Love, Dirty Mike and the boys."
724
00:37:25,708 --> 00:37:26,708
Here's something we found.
725
00:37:26,792 --> 00:37:29,419
We found about a dozen
unscratched lottery tickets.
726
00:37:29,586 --> 00:37:32,630
No fingerprints or nothing. Check that out.
727
00:37:32,798 --> 00:37:36,134
Yeah, it's a real shame, you know.
I got myself a Prius. It's a hell of a machine.
728
00:37:36,969 --> 00:37:39,929
It's my first brand-new car.
I've never owned a new car.
729
00:37:40,014 --> 00:37:41,806
Found a deer vagina.
730
00:37:42,641 --> 00:37:44,851
- What?
- Thought it was human lips at first.
731
00:37:44,977 --> 00:37:47,437
Then we took a closer look.
It was definitely a deer vagina.
732
00:37:49,732 --> 00:37:50,940
Not even a free ticket.
733
00:37:51,942 --> 00:37:53,151
What are we gonna do?
734
00:37:53,277 --> 00:37:56,321
We got no fingerprints,
a bunch of losing lottery tickets.
735
00:37:56,572 --> 00:37:59,282
Look at this, there's a two-minute phone call
made after we were jumped.
736
00:37:59,616 --> 00:38:01,534
- They used your phone?
- They ghost dialed.
737
00:38:01,618 --> 00:38:02,785
Someone probably sat on it.
738
00:38:02,911 --> 00:38:05,621
It could have recorded some of their
conversation when Ershon got grabbed.
739
00:38:05,748 --> 00:38:07,081
We gotta hear the other side of that call.
740
00:38:08,250 --> 00:38:09,584
Nope, no, it's nothing.
741
00:38:09,668 --> 00:38:11,919
- Nothing? It's the only lead we have.
- It's nothing. It's nothing.
742
00:38:12,004 --> 00:38:13,421
Why did you just get super jumpy?
743
00:38:14,506 --> 00:38:15,590
What?
744
00:38:15,674 --> 00:38:17,633
It's an ex-girlfriend, okay?
745
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:19,469
What's the matter?
What happened with you guys?
746
00:38:19,595 --> 00:38:21,429
She was just a bit of a handful, that's it.
747
00:38:26,434 --> 00:38:28,352
Allen, it's the only lead we have.
748
00:38:28,478 --> 00:38:30,812
We either go with this
or we walk away from this case right now.
749
00:38:31,356 --> 00:38:33,273
Fine. Let's go see her.
750
00:38:46,162 --> 00:38:47,412
Hello, Christinith.
751
00:38:47,497 --> 00:38:49,122
Hello, Allen.
752
00:38:51,501 --> 00:38:54,294
- That's my partner, Terry.
- Hi, Telly.
753
00:38:54,712 --> 00:38:57,881
- Holy shit. Dude.
- Just relax, relax.
754
00:38:58,674 --> 00:39:03,053
I waited for you in Tower Records
for four hours.
755
00:39:04,013 --> 00:39:05,972
That was 13 years ago.
756
00:39:09,018 --> 00:39:13,980
Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert.
Who wants some Arnie Palmies?
757
00:39:15,316 --> 00:39:16,900
Sweetie, this one has the vodky, right here.
758
00:39:17,026 --> 00:39:20,195
- Hal, just place it down, please.
- All righty.
759
00:39:21,030 --> 00:39:22,239
Okay.
760
00:39:26,369 --> 00:39:31,498
I did things in bed with you
that I haven't done with anyone since.
761
00:39:31,582 --> 00:39:32,874
No.
762
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,752
- Christinith, your husband, it's awkward.
- Oh, no, he knows all of this.
763
00:39:35,878 --> 00:39:38,380
- You're a lucky dog.
- It's true.
764
00:39:41,384 --> 00:39:43,260
Christine, this is a lovely house.
765
00:39:43,386 --> 00:39:46,388
It's Christinith.
Are you stupid, or are you deaf?
766
00:39:46,597 --> 00:39:49,224
Christinith, you idiot!
767
00:39:49,559 --> 00:39:53,895
You come to our house,
you get my wife's name right!
768
00:39:54,355 --> 00:39:55,689
- What?
- Christinith!
769
00:39:55,773 --> 00:39:58,567
Look, we really appreciate the hospitality.
770
00:39:58,901 --> 00:40:01,027
We'd just love to get the message off
your cell phone.
771
00:40:01,111 --> 00:40:05,072
We believe it might give us information
regarding a kidnapping.
772
00:40:05,198 --> 00:40:10,578
Okay. Why don't you come to the kitchen,
and I will let you listen to it
773
00:40:10,704 --> 00:40:14,206
and everyone else stay here.
774
00:40:14,583 --> 00:40:17,251
- Okay, sweetie.
- Come on.
775
00:40:21,089 --> 00:40:23,466
- There's my phone.
- Great, thank you for...
776
00:40:26,845 --> 00:40:30,264
I hate you, you son of a bitch!
777
00:40:30,348 --> 00:40:33,726
- You're so strong.
- I'm stronger than you will ever know!
778
00:40:33,810 --> 00:40:36,854
I hate you! I hate you!
779
00:40:36,980 --> 00:40:40,441
You're so adorable.
Look at your face. Look at your face.
780
00:40:40,525 --> 00:40:44,487
You go, "I wuv you."
Say it. "I wuv you, Cwistinith."
781
00:40:50,285 --> 00:40:54,705
You probably think because of the beard
that I'm really hairy.
782
00:40:54,831 --> 00:40:56,790
But I'm not.
783
00:40:58,168 --> 00:40:59,668
Shaved.
784
00:41:00,170 --> 00:41:01,879
- Allen!
- He's fine.
785
00:41:02,839 --> 00:41:04,048
Question.
786
00:41:05,091 --> 00:41:06,258
What would you rather be,
787
00:41:07,636 --> 00:41:10,095
a bear or a dog?
788
00:41:10,263 --> 00:41:13,182
- I don't care.
- I wanna be
789
00:41:14,559 --> 00:41:17,144
a bear dog. Half dog, half bear.
790
00:41:17,812 --> 00:41:20,189
'Cause that way, I could live in the house
791
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:23,400
but I still get to make a doodie
out in the woods.
792
00:41:24,194 --> 00:41:25,361
Allen!
793
00:41:29,699 --> 00:41:31,158
Allen! Allen!
794
00:41:31,243 --> 00:41:34,453
- This is police evidence. Terry! Let's go!
- Hey!
795
00:41:34,538 --> 00:41:37,081
You get back here
and you make love to my wife!
796
00:41:37,206 --> 00:41:38,706
Allen! Allen!
797
00:41:39,542 --> 00:41:43,086
I don't get it, man. I just do not get it.
798
00:41:43,212 --> 00:41:45,421
I mean,
that girl Christinith was seriously hot.
799
00:41:45,548 --> 00:41:47,131
Your wife is crazy hot.
800
00:41:47,216 --> 00:41:50,260
I mean, even that Brazilian security chick,
she threw you a "Do me" vibe.
801
00:41:50,386 --> 00:41:52,011
What is it with you and hot ladies?
802
00:41:52,096 --> 00:41:55,473
First off, my wife is cute, but she's not hot.
803
00:41:55,558 --> 00:41:59,644
Dude, you're insane.
Your wife is scalding hot.
804
00:41:59,728 --> 00:42:02,105
- You wanna listen to this message or not?
- Yeah, whatever.
805
00:42:02,231 --> 00:42:03,773
You have one job, mate.
806
00:42:03,899 --> 00:42:05,858
Find a sucker to invest with you
807
00:42:05,943 --> 00:42:07,902
so you can pay my boss backthe money you lost.
808
00:42:08,028 --> 00:42:09,195
And I don't care who.
809
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,614
Right. I actually think I found a sucker...
810
00:42:11,740 --> 00:42:14,158
- He's talking to Ershon.
...to invest $32 billion.
811
00:42:14,243 --> 00:42:15,827
Who's got $32 billion to rob?
812
00:42:15,911 --> 00:42:18,204
Once I get the money, I'll falsify the records
813
00:42:18,289 --> 00:42:21,040
to show their massive lossesand then repay your employer.
814
00:42:21,125 --> 00:42:24,794
Now, since you're following me,I need to go to 2300 Park Avenue,
815
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:26,462
and after that...
816
00:42:26,589 --> 00:42:28,339
I told you it wasn't a security team.
817
00:42:28,632 --> 00:42:31,801
- He was being abducted.
- Obviously, but what kind... Holy...
818
00:42:31,927 --> 00:42:33,428
Nobody leaves our house
without making love to my wife!
819
00:42:33,512 --> 00:42:34,679
- Is that him?
- Yeah!
820
00:42:34,763 --> 00:42:36,556
Oh, my God, they came out of nowhere!
821
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,474
- Holy shit!
- They chased us 20 miles.
822
00:42:38,601 --> 00:42:40,768
- You come back here! You get back here!
- Allen!
823
00:42:48,527 --> 00:42:52,113
2300 Park Avenue.
It's the offices of the lottery.
824
00:42:53,282 --> 00:42:54,949
Holy shit, the lottery tickets we found.
825
00:42:55,326 --> 00:42:57,744
Ershon is using the lottery money
to cover his losses.
826
00:42:57,828 --> 00:43:00,663
$32 billion. That's the state's money.
827
00:43:00,789 --> 00:43:02,957
Well, what do we tell Mauch?
A guy lost some money.
828
00:43:03,042 --> 00:43:06,544
We have a scratchy cell phone message
and an address. It's still half a case.
829
00:43:06,629 --> 00:43:10,590
There's gotta be some sort of paper trail.
If we can find that, we can track it,
830
00:43:10,674 --> 00:43:11,883
then we can go to Mauch.
831
00:43:12,634 --> 00:43:16,637
So, I did some more research
on Ershon's accounting firm,
832
00:43:16,721 --> 00:43:18,430
and I found some pretty interesting stuff.
833
00:43:18,514 --> 00:43:21,683
It turns out that Gretchel and Dawson has...
834
00:43:23,144 --> 00:43:24,811
Hold on, I'm up.
835
00:43:26,147 --> 00:43:29,191
I gave my love to Erin
836
00:43:30,151 --> 00:43:33,820
She promised to be true
837
00:43:34,364 --> 00:43:38,367
I went to war to come back
838
00:43:38,493 --> 00:43:42,412
And find five British soldiers
839
00:43:42,497 --> 00:43:45,707
Had their way with her
840
00:43:45,875 --> 00:43:50,253
It was consensual
841
00:43:51,005 --> 00:43:52,047
Done?
842
00:43:52,173 --> 00:43:55,092
Gretchel and Dawson Accounting Firm
in Fair Lawn, New Jersey
843
00:43:55,176 --> 00:43:58,261
has only one client, David Ershon.
844
00:43:58,346 --> 00:44:00,889
Pretty rinky-dink operation
for a guy like that.
845
00:44:01,015 --> 00:44:03,684
Looks like we're going to Jersey
to visit an accounting firm.
846
00:44:03,768 --> 00:44:06,520
That's a shitty day.
847
00:44:07,772 --> 00:44:11,817
And all their fathers were hanged
848
00:44:11,901 --> 00:44:15,362
And the children all got pink eye
849
00:44:17,448 --> 00:44:24,287
While their Harry Potter books were burned
850
00:44:29,919 --> 00:44:32,337
Do you have fun singing those songs?
They're really depressing.
851
00:44:32,422 --> 00:44:34,881
I do. They're full of rich history.
852
00:44:36,050 --> 00:44:38,051
Damn it, I'm late.
I was supposed to go meet my lady.
853
00:44:38,136 --> 00:44:40,512
I thought you said you guys split up.
854
00:44:40,596 --> 00:44:43,140
Let's just keep our thing about work, okay?
855
00:44:43,224 --> 00:44:44,808
All right. Goodbye, buddy.
856
00:44:44,892 --> 00:44:46,893
Hey, get off me, man.
857
00:45:05,495 --> 00:45:08,205
What the hell are you doing?
858
00:45:08,290 --> 00:45:10,875
I'm dancing, Terry.
What the hell are you doing here?
859
00:45:10,959 --> 00:45:13,127
I love you, Francine.
860
00:45:13,253 --> 00:45:16,464
If you were with me, you wouldn't be here
in this strip club, shaking it for dollar bills!
861
00:45:16,590 --> 00:45:21,594
This is a ballet studio, Terry.
Okay? These poles are horizontal.
862
00:45:21,678 --> 00:45:23,721
He loves you very much, Francine.
863
00:45:23,805 --> 00:45:26,265
- Who is this guy?
- What are you doing here, Allen?
864
00:45:26,349 --> 00:45:27,975
It's the code. I'm your partner.
865
00:45:28,185 --> 00:45:31,228
I'm here to support a friend
and a work colleague.
866
00:45:31,313 --> 00:45:32,813
Francine, is this guy bothering you?
867
00:45:32,939 --> 00:45:35,775
Who's this, your new boyfriend?
Great. You got a new boyfriend.
868
00:45:35,859 --> 00:45:39,278
He is my dance partner, Terry. Okay?
869
00:45:39,362 --> 00:45:41,155
I know that this is a big surprise,
870
00:45:41,281 --> 00:45:44,116
but there are other things in the world
besides being a cop. Okay?
871
00:45:44,785 --> 00:45:47,620
Now, if you will excuse me, I'm gonna dance.
872
00:45:47,704 --> 00:45:49,497
What, you don't think I can do this shit?
873
00:46:06,014 --> 00:46:08,224
That was surprisingly good, Terry.
874
00:46:08,517 --> 00:46:11,227
- I love you, Francine.
- You don't know what love is.
875
00:46:11,311 --> 00:46:13,270
He loves you very much, Francine!
876
00:46:13,355 --> 00:46:15,272
I heard it when he said it. Thank you.
877
00:46:15,357 --> 00:46:17,566
You know what you're doing to me?
You're killing me inside.
878
00:46:17,651 --> 00:46:18,776
And don't eyeball me, man!
879
00:46:18,860 --> 00:46:20,820
You're running around
with this crack-dealing drug addict?
880
00:46:20,904 --> 00:46:21,987
Terry!
881
00:46:22,072 --> 00:46:23,781
He does not approve of your behavior!
882
00:46:23,865 --> 00:46:25,825
Can you please go?
883
00:46:25,908 --> 00:46:28,201
And you, too,
creepy guy standing in the door?
884
00:46:32,331 --> 00:46:33,540
Let's go, Allen.
885
00:46:33,999 --> 00:46:36,584
I think we all experienced
our own ballet today.
886
00:46:36,919 --> 00:46:38,711
The ballet of emotion and feelings.
887
00:46:39,171 --> 00:46:40,755
You're kind of making things worse.
888
00:46:50,349 --> 00:46:53,184
- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
889
00:46:54,687 --> 00:46:57,188
Hey, I didn't know you could dance.
890
00:46:58,065 --> 00:47:00,525
We used to do those dance moves
to make fun of guys when we were kids,
891
00:47:00,609 --> 00:47:02,026
show them how queer they were, okay?
892
00:47:03,904 --> 00:47:06,906
- You learned to dance like that sarcastically?
- Yeah, I guess.
893
00:47:07,032 --> 00:47:10,535
Stay out of my personal life, okay?
The kid flies private.
894
00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:13,788
Stay focused on the case, man.
I'll see you in Jersey tomorrow.
895
00:47:14,206 --> 00:47:15,790
All right, Terry.
896
00:47:16,375 --> 00:47:19,919
Hey, that was liberating for me.
I don't know how it felt for you.
897
00:47:42,443 --> 00:47:45,820
Here, check this out.
Article from six months ago.
898
00:47:45,905 --> 00:47:47,488
Talking about how the lottery is looking
899
00:47:47,573 --> 00:47:50,325
to invest their $30-billion fund
more aggressively.
900
00:47:50,576 --> 00:47:51,576
So he's dealing drugs?
901
00:47:52,161 --> 00:47:55,955
No, it's not drugs. This isn't Miami Vice.
902
00:47:59,084 --> 00:48:00,919
Look, I'm sorry. I just...
903
00:48:01,586 --> 00:48:06,298
I am in a bit of a state today.
Sheila and I got into it last night.
904
00:48:06,841 --> 00:48:08,216
What happened?
905
00:48:10,094 --> 00:48:12,930
She was interested in taking this class
at The Learning Annex, right?
906
00:48:13,556 --> 00:48:15,474
Called "The Art of Oral Sex"?
907
00:48:15,767 --> 00:48:18,435
You know, we just don't have it
in the budget right now.
908
00:48:19,062 --> 00:48:21,021
It's always about her.
909
00:48:21,439 --> 00:48:23,398
Yeah, that's... That's messed up.
910
00:48:25,109 --> 00:48:26,276
Hey, I got you a gift.
911
00:48:27,111 --> 00:48:30,864
I just saw something, and I thought of you,
and so, I don't want it to be weird.
912
00:48:30,949 --> 00:48:32,115
I just wanted to be nice.
913
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:33,533
Of course it's weird.
914
00:48:33,618 --> 00:48:35,452
It's a grown man
giving another man a present.
915
00:48:37,121 --> 00:48:39,456
There you go. Open it up.
916
00:48:40,041 --> 00:48:41,959
It's okay, you're welcome.
917
00:48:42,460 --> 00:48:44,461
I like to do things like that.
918
00:48:44,587 --> 00:48:46,630
Take a look what it says.
919
00:48:55,431 --> 00:48:57,891
You know,
because we're both in law enforcement.
920
00:48:58,017 --> 00:48:59,559
We both like women.
921
00:48:59,686 --> 00:49:02,688
But I got a weird sense of humor.
I'm a sick puppy.
922
00:49:03,022 --> 00:49:05,148
I can't look at it. It makes me laugh so hard.
923
00:49:05,233 --> 00:49:06,525
Me, too.
924
00:49:09,946 --> 00:49:13,115
Real nice. You know, it's all class.
925
00:49:15,368 --> 00:49:16,743
- Okay.
- Don't do that shit any more.
926
00:49:16,869 --> 00:49:18,578
Yeah, believe me, I won't.
927
00:49:18,955 --> 00:49:21,248
Do you understand
what's so funny about it, though?
928
00:49:22,875 --> 00:49:26,420
'Cause it's the FBI, right?
It has the same logo, the same shield.
929
00:49:26,546 --> 00:49:29,589
And at first glance, you're like,
it's just a mug that says "FBI."
930
00:49:29,716 --> 00:49:34,553
But then at second glance,
you're like, "Female Body Inspector"?
931
00:49:34,637 --> 00:49:36,805
Get out of town. This is outrageous...
932
00:49:36,889 --> 00:49:38,223
Shut up!
933
00:49:50,736 --> 00:49:52,903
I'm gonna climb over
that anger wall of yours
934
00:49:52,988 --> 00:49:54,071
one of these days,
935
00:49:54,156 --> 00:49:56,323
and it's gonna be glorious.
936
00:49:59,911 --> 00:50:02,538
Shouldn't we tell Mauch that
we're going to check this place out?
937
00:50:02,622 --> 00:50:04,248
For what? We're just going to check it out.
938
00:50:04,332 --> 00:50:06,751
I know, but it's procedure.
939
00:50:06,835 --> 00:50:08,961
Terry answers to no one.
940
00:50:09,629 --> 00:50:11,797
I do what I do.
941
00:50:12,841 --> 00:50:15,301
What accounting firm is closed at 11:00 a.m.
On a Tuesday?
942
00:50:15,427 --> 00:50:16,635
This is a shithole.
943
00:50:24,311 --> 00:50:25,394
I love bombs.
944
00:50:25,479 --> 00:50:28,647
I can't hear! I can't hear!
945
00:50:30,108 --> 00:50:32,109
There's blood blisters on my hands!
946
00:50:32,194 --> 00:50:33,277
Oh, my God!
947
00:50:33,361 --> 00:50:35,654
How do they walk away in movies
without flinching
948
00:50:35,781 --> 00:50:37,448
when it explodes behind them?
949
00:50:37,532 --> 00:50:40,785
There's no way! I call bullshit on that!
950
00:50:41,119 --> 00:50:44,455
When they flew the Millennium Falcon
outside of the Death Star,
951
00:50:44,539 --> 00:50:48,542
and it was followed by the explosion,
that was bullshit!
952
00:50:48,627 --> 00:50:51,921
Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars!
That was all accurate!
953
00:50:52,005 --> 00:50:53,964
I need an MRI.
954
00:50:54,049 --> 00:50:58,344
I need an MRI! I've got soft tissue damage.
955
00:50:58,804 --> 00:51:00,846
There's no way
I don't have soft tissue damage.
956
00:51:00,972 --> 00:51:02,014
Please stop.
957
00:51:02,140 --> 00:51:03,808
I just wanna go somewhere
and breastfeed right now!
958
00:51:07,979 --> 00:51:12,358
Fire Department said it was a gas leak,
but no way. That was timed.
959
00:51:12,484 --> 00:51:14,235
They didn't wanna kill us,
but they wanted to scare us.
960
00:51:14,318 --> 00:51:16,820
Yeah, well, they succeeded, okay?
961
00:51:16,904 --> 00:51:19,531
I'm tired of this. All right?
962
00:51:19,657 --> 00:51:22,158
I'm tired of explosions
and people pointing guns at me.
963
00:51:22,243 --> 00:51:24,369
I wanna go back to my desk.
964
00:51:24,495 --> 00:51:27,956
Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes
and messes with your ears.
965
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:30,500
You can't escape it by hiding
at your desk for your whole life.
966
00:51:30,584 --> 00:51:33,336
You know what? Yes, you can.
I've done it for years, okay?
967
00:51:33,420 --> 00:51:36,339
There's no explosions at my desk.
968
00:51:36,423 --> 00:51:41,344
There's no explosions at my home
with my plain wife, in my plain house.
969
00:51:43,681 --> 00:51:45,431
What are you afraid of, man?
970
00:51:46,559 --> 00:51:51,062
I'm your partner. You can tell me.
What the hell are you hiding from?
971
00:51:51,856 --> 00:51:54,190
I was a sophomore in college.
972
00:51:55,568 --> 00:51:59,696
The university I went to
decided they needed to raise tuition.
973
00:52:00,781 --> 00:52:06,619
A classmate of mine, Brenda, in an effort
to raise money and stay in school,
974
00:52:06,704 --> 00:52:08,663
came up with a nifty plan
975
00:52:08,747 --> 00:52:11,207
where she thought she'd date guys
and charge them money.
976
00:52:11,375 --> 00:52:12,959
I go on dates all the time,
977
00:52:13,043 --> 00:52:15,170
with a whole bunch of,
you know, boys and stuff.
978
00:52:15,254 --> 00:52:18,590
And I kind of need somebody to help me out,
like, you know, my partner in crime.
979
00:52:19,216 --> 00:52:21,426
Yeah, I could make a schedule.
980
00:52:21,552 --> 00:52:23,094
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's what I was thinking.
981
00:52:23,220 --> 00:52:25,722
- Provide transportation services.
- Yeah, yeah.
982
00:52:25,806 --> 00:52:27,932
- It's gonna be a good time.
- Thanks so much for asking me.
983
00:52:28,058 --> 00:52:30,476
She said she needed my help to make surethat the dates went okay
984
00:52:30,561 --> 00:52:34,022
and that the guys paid her.
She said she'd give me a percentage.
985
00:52:34,106 --> 00:52:37,400
- Oh, my God. You were a pimp.
- What? God, no.
986
00:52:37,484 --> 00:52:39,569
No, I was just trying to help a friend.
987
00:52:39,653 --> 00:52:42,238
We started making a lot of money.
988
00:52:43,240 --> 00:52:46,117
And wouldn't you know it,some of Brenda's girlfriends
989
00:52:46,243 --> 00:52:48,912
decided they wanted to be a part of it.
990
00:52:48,996 --> 00:52:51,664
Pretty soon, there were about 14 ladiesthat I was protecting
991
00:52:51,748 --> 00:52:53,373
while they gave me money.
992
00:52:53,458 --> 00:52:55,000
That's called a stable of whores.
993
00:52:55,919 --> 00:53:00,839
We decided I shouldn't use my real name.
So we came up with the name "Gator."
994
00:53:01,090 --> 00:53:02,549
I'm telling you, you were a pimp.
995
00:53:02,634 --> 00:53:05,260
No! Are you even listening to the story?
996
00:53:08,097 --> 00:53:10,140
Anyway, one day,
I wake up and I look in the mirror,
997
00:53:10,266 --> 00:53:12,476
and I don't like what I see.
998
00:53:13,770 --> 00:53:17,272
I mean, I had gotten out of control,and I didn't even realize it.
999
00:53:18,107 --> 00:53:20,442
You can't have a conscience
in the pimp game.
1000
00:53:21,152 --> 00:53:22,903
One night, two of my favorite girls,
1001
00:53:22,987 --> 00:53:25,197
Candy and Jolene, said,
"We gotta take you in,"
1002
00:53:25,281 --> 00:53:27,574
and they dropped me off
at the emergency room.
1003
00:53:27,659 --> 00:53:29,576
That's where I met Sheila. I was a mess.
1004
00:53:29,661 --> 00:53:34,873
I made a promise to myself and to her
that I would never get out of control again.
1005
00:53:35,708 --> 00:53:37,084
So, as soon as I graduated from college,
1006
00:53:37,168 --> 00:53:40,128
I became an accountant
for the police department.
1007
00:53:40,713 --> 00:53:43,465
The most stable job I could think of.
1008
00:53:45,009 --> 00:53:47,469
An accountant for law and order.
1009
00:53:49,722 --> 00:53:53,809
I just don't wanna ever feel out of control
like that ever again.
1010
00:53:53,893 --> 00:53:56,603
Don't worry. I got your back.
1011
00:53:56,688 --> 00:53:59,106
Now I say we go get in Ershon's grill
and see if he cracks.
1012
00:53:59,190 --> 00:54:02,985
- I'm tired of all this tippy-toeing around.
- Okay.
1013
00:54:03,319 --> 00:54:06,029
You can either walk the plankor take your panties off.
1014
00:54:06,155 --> 00:54:07,739
The choice is yours.
1015
00:54:07,824 --> 00:54:12,077
- I want to take my panties off.- You've made a wise choice, you have.
1016
00:54:12,161 --> 00:54:16,999
Mr. Ershon, Detective Gamble and the officer
who shot Derek Jeter are here.
1017
00:54:17,500 --> 00:54:18,750
Gentlemen, please.
1018
00:54:18,835 --> 00:54:22,129
- Remember us, hotshot?
- Of course I do. Please, sit.
1019
00:54:22,213 --> 00:54:23,880
There she blows.
1020
00:54:26,342 --> 00:54:29,553
Two of those Russian waters, please.
No lime wedges, just cucumber.
1021
00:54:29,678 --> 00:54:32,763
Guess where we just came from?
An explosion at your accounting office.
1022
00:54:33,098 --> 00:54:35,349
Yes, that awful gas leak.
1023
00:54:35,434 --> 00:54:39,353
Gas leak? The only gas leak is the one
coming out of your mouth right now.
1024
00:54:39,438 --> 00:54:44,483
I just thank God
no one was hurt or injured in a bad way.
1025
00:54:44,568 --> 00:54:47,278
I absolutely abhor death.
1026
00:54:47,529 --> 00:54:51,032
Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber.
The jig is up, okay?
1027
00:54:51,116 --> 00:54:52,950
We know that wasn't your security team
that grabbed you.
1028
00:54:53,035 --> 00:54:55,369
And we know you're targeting a big fish
to cover losses.
1029
00:54:55,454 --> 00:54:57,788
You talk or I beat you
so it don't show no bruises.
1030
00:54:58,206 --> 00:55:00,916
God, this water is good.
Terry, have you tried the water?
1031
00:55:01,043 --> 00:55:02,501
Shut up, Allen.
1032
00:55:02,586 --> 00:55:05,880
I assure you,
I have no idea what you're talking about.
1033
00:55:05,964 --> 00:55:09,884
I understand there was a bit of a mix-up
with the whole scaffolding business.
1034
00:55:09,968 --> 00:55:15,389
The cucumber accents the water
in such a way that...
1035
00:55:16,558 --> 00:55:21,270
Perhaps by way of apology,
I can offer you my personal courtside seats
1036
00:55:21,396 --> 00:55:25,566
for the Knicks game,
with access to the Ambassador Club.
1037
00:55:27,903 --> 00:55:32,740
Come on, Knicks! Come on!
I got Knicks' fever and it's catching!
1038
00:55:34,409 --> 00:55:38,412
Hey. This feels weird sitting here.
It feels like it's a bribe.
1039
00:55:38,497 --> 00:55:43,042
It is a bribe. Son-of-a-bitch,
I saw courtside and I went blind.
1040
00:55:43,126 --> 00:55:44,418
Come on.
1041
00:55:45,253 --> 00:55:46,587
Call me!
1042
00:55:48,090 --> 00:55:49,840
- Excuse me.
- That was a trick.
1043
00:55:49,925 --> 00:55:51,300
No more.
1044
00:55:51,426 --> 00:55:56,764
Gentlemen, you have a choice.
Mamma Mia or Jersey Boys.
1045
00:56:00,102 --> 00:56:03,145
Fantastic! You're so unbelievable!
1046
00:56:07,650 --> 00:56:09,609
Damn it. He did it again.
1047
00:56:10,528 --> 00:56:12,821
- Excuse me.
- No more tickets.
1048
00:56:12,947 --> 00:56:14,823
Mr. Ershon,
I tried to keep them in the waiting room.
1049
00:56:14,949 --> 00:56:18,159
That's okay, Susan. Two Glacier waters
with Mediterranean limes.
1050
00:56:18,285 --> 00:56:20,120
No, no, no. No more water.
We're not here for that.
1051
00:56:20,204 --> 00:56:22,247
No, I was very much looking forward
to having a water.
1052
00:56:22,331 --> 00:56:26,793
- How great is Jersey Boys?
- It's not great. It's fantastic!
1053
00:56:26,877 --> 00:56:30,213
You totally undersold it.
The pageantry, the costumes.
1054
00:56:30,297 --> 00:56:31,923
Wow, what a musical.
1055
00:56:32,007 --> 00:56:33,883
Hey. Get over here.
1056
00:56:35,010 --> 00:56:36,177
- What's wrong with you?
- What?
1057
00:56:36,303 --> 00:56:37,804
That's not what we're here for.
1058
00:56:38,681 --> 00:56:40,807
We're gonna do good cop, bad cop. Okay?
1059
00:56:41,058 --> 00:56:44,102
It's the oldest game in the book for a reason,
it works.
1060
00:56:44,186 --> 00:56:45,520
I come strong, then you come in.
1061
00:56:45,646 --> 00:56:46,688
- You got it?
- Yeah.
1062
00:56:46,814 --> 00:56:49,441
- I come strong, then you come in.
- Right. Got it.
1063
00:56:49,525 --> 00:56:51,484
Now you listen to me, you piece of shit.
1064
00:56:51,694 --> 00:56:54,279
It's just you and me,
and I'm gonna rip you apart!
1065
00:56:54,363 --> 00:56:58,575
How did you cover your losses up?
What drug cartel are you working with now?
1066
00:56:58,659 --> 00:57:02,579
- Okay, I'll talk to you, you're reasonable!
- No, no, look at me!
1067
00:57:02,663 --> 00:57:05,123
You wanna talk to me?
You wanna talk to me?
1068
00:57:05,207 --> 00:57:08,710
Allen, what are you doing?
What are you doing? Allen!
1069
00:57:09,545 --> 00:57:11,838
I'm gonna make you eat
a plate of human shit!
1070
00:57:12,506 --> 00:57:14,257
Get away from me!
1071
00:57:19,013 --> 00:57:20,430
Where is he?
1072
00:57:22,516 --> 00:57:25,059
Look, I'm really sorry about that.
1073
00:57:25,895 --> 00:57:28,438
I saw how aggressive you were being,
and I thought,
1074
00:57:28,522 --> 00:57:32,150
"Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that,
since we're doing bad cop, bad cop."
1075
00:57:32,234 --> 00:57:37,322
What? No, I said, "Good cop, bad cop."
I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop.
1076
00:57:37,406 --> 00:57:41,868
Okay, then there it is. That's it.
I thought you said, "Bad cop, bad cop."
1077
00:57:42,202 --> 00:57:45,579
Well, while you were going crazy,
look what I snagged from his desk.
1078
00:57:45,705 --> 00:57:47,748
- Think it's his phone sheet.
- Nice.
1079
00:57:48,082 --> 00:57:49,791
Seven calls to the lottery office.
1080
00:57:50,126 --> 00:57:51,710
That could be the evidence
we need for Mauch.
1081
00:57:54,422 --> 00:57:57,299
- Get back. Colombian drug lords.
- Where are you getting that from?
1082
00:57:59,093 --> 00:58:00,302
Jesus!
1083
00:58:09,103 --> 00:58:11,563
Can you imagine where you'd be
in your career if you hadn't shot Jeter?
1084
00:58:19,405 --> 00:58:22,699
- We call this in, right?
- Looks like we got all the evidence we need.
1085
00:58:22,784 --> 00:58:24,910
I'm sorry, my butterfly.
1086
00:58:26,246 --> 00:58:29,164
We'll load them up, send them back to go.
1087
00:58:37,924 --> 00:58:41,218
- Holy shit.
- What?
1088
00:58:41,302 --> 00:58:44,012
What do you mean, what? Where are we?
1089
00:58:45,431 --> 00:58:46,807
We're in the high desert.
1090
00:58:46,933 --> 00:58:50,644
They took my shoes again, man!
What the hell is it with taking shoes?
1091
00:58:50,770 --> 00:58:52,271
- They took your wooden gun?
- Yeah.
1092
00:58:58,820 --> 00:59:01,071
- Hello?
- Hello, Gene? I mean, Captain.
1093
00:59:01,155 --> 00:59:02,573
Captain, it's Allen Gamble.
1094
00:59:02,657 --> 00:59:04,491
Yeah, yeah. Where are you?
What's going on?
1095
00:59:04,617 --> 00:59:06,868
Captain, it's a long story,but I'm just gonna cut to the chase.
1096
00:59:06,953 --> 00:59:08,912
We are in Las Vegas, all right?
1097
00:59:08,997 --> 00:59:12,374
We were kidnapped, put on a freight train,
and shipped out here.
1098
00:59:12,458 --> 00:59:14,876
Let me just stop you right there.
Don't bullshit me.
1099
00:59:14,961 --> 00:59:16,336
Captain, I am being straight with you.
1100
00:59:16,461 --> 00:59:18,754
Look, we think something's going on, okay?
1101
00:59:18,839 --> 00:59:21,716
We think Ershon is targeting the lottery
to cover his losses.
1102
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:27,221
Wait. How many times
did I explicitly say to you, "Lay off Ershon"?
1103
00:59:27,723 --> 00:59:29,015
Terry, Captain wants to know
1104
00:59:29,141 --> 00:59:31,017
how many times
has he asked us to lay off Ershon.
1105
00:59:31,143 --> 00:59:32,184
Twice.
1106
00:59:33,020 --> 00:59:34,812
Twice. Terry says twice. I agree.
1107
00:59:34,896 --> 00:59:36,981
I'm hanging up. I'm done.
1108
00:59:41,236 --> 00:59:45,823
I gotta tell you, I started getting a hand
for that, a taste for that Pai Gow.
1109
00:59:46,491 --> 00:59:51,078
Martin and Fosse, super cops,
in three, two...
1110
00:59:51,163 --> 00:59:57,043
So, we busted that junkie.
Got back 74 thou in diamonds. 74 thou.
1111
00:59:58,170 --> 00:59:59,587
Solved the Castien case.
1112
00:59:59,671 --> 01:00:02,465
$74,000? That's all they took?
1113
01:00:02,549 --> 01:00:04,800
There's millions of dollars of diamonds
in that place.
1114
01:00:04,885 --> 01:00:07,053
How about this, Gamble?
How about you shut your face?
1115
01:00:07,179 --> 01:00:08,721
All right? Just shut it.
1116
01:00:08,847 --> 01:00:10,431
Hoitz, Gamble, Captain's looking for you.
1117
01:00:13,393 --> 01:00:15,645
I know it's off the subject,
but is Kevlar copyrighted?
1118
01:00:15,729 --> 01:00:17,021
- Captain?
- Yeah.
1119
01:00:17,105 --> 01:00:19,607
- Is it a bad time?
- No, come on. Come on.
1120
01:00:20,025 --> 01:00:21,817
- Not me, right?
- Yeah, and you.
1121
01:00:21,902 --> 01:00:25,613
Fellows, I'm sure you're familiar with
the venerable DA Radford.
1122
01:00:25,697 --> 01:00:27,365
He wanted to come down and pay us a visit.
1123
01:00:27,449 --> 01:00:28,699
Hello, gentlemen.
1124
01:00:28,784 --> 01:00:29,909
- Hello, sir.
- Hey.
1125
01:00:30,035 --> 01:00:33,371
- You know, I was talking to Gene here.
- He prefers "Captain."
1126
01:00:33,455 --> 01:00:36,957
Yes, I was talking to Gene here,
and, you know, it's funny.
1127
01:00:37,250 --> 01:00:39,502
I don't know what you two have been up to,
1128
01:00:39,586 --> 01:00:42,963
but I've been getting calls
from people I don't ever get calls from.
1129
01:00:43,048 --> 01:00:45,966
In 40 years of enforcing the law,
I've learned one thing.
1130
01:00:46,593 --> 01:00:48,302
When that happens, stop.
1131
01:00:49,888 --> 01:00:52,973
- Gene, how's the family?
- Good, good, Louis, thanks for asking.
1132
01:00:53,057 --> 01:00:55,058
- My son's bisexual, so...
- Tremendous.
1133
01:00:57,895 --> 01:00:59,396
Gentlemen, do we understand each other?
1134
01:01:00,731 --> 01:01:02,899
- Cut the crap!
- Will do.
1135
01:01:07,238 --> 01:01:08,655
Guy never comes down here.
1136
01:01:08,739 --> 01:01:11,574
Twenty years, I think I've seen that guy
in this building one time.
1137
01:01:11,659 --> 01:01:14,828
- He's a heavyweight cat, that guy.
- He was sitting right here.
1138
01:01:15,246 --> 01:01:18,665
Yeah. I think you missed the point.
Anyway, look.
1139
01:01:18,749 --> 01:01:22,168
Blue and white found your firearms down
by the Hudson River. Here you go, Terry.
1140
01:01:23,838 --> 01:01:25,338
You know what?
1141
01:01:26,006 --> 01:01:27,966
I'm gonna hang on to the wooden gun.
1142
01:01:28,092 --> 01:01:29,926
- To give me back my real gun?
- No.
1143
01:01:30,010 --> 01:01:32,095
'Cause I'm gonna give you this.
1144
01:01:32,805 --> 01:01:35,974
It's a rape whistle.
You blow that if you run into any trouble
1145
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:39,144
and someone with an actual gun
will come and help you out.
1146
01:01:40,521 --> 01:01:45,191
We were abducted, Captain! This shit is real!
Ershon's dirty. He's targeting the lottery!
1147
01:01:45,276 --> 01:01:50,155
Next, I want you guys to hand in all
the evidence you think you have to the SEC.
1148
01:01:50,281 --> 01:01:52,073
The financial district's
under their jurisdiction.
1149
01:01:52,158 --> 01:01:54,617
Don't you get it? This case is talking to us!
1150
01:01:54,702 --> 01:01:57,829
I'm a peacock, Captain!
You gotta let me fly on this one!
1151
01:01:57,955 --> 01:02:00,790
You know what, Terry? Let's just settle this.
Peacocks don't fly.
1152
01:02:00,875 --> 01:02:04,335
- They fly, they fly a little bit.
- Yeah, about as much as a penguin.
1153
01:02:04,462 --> 01:02:08,047
One more thing, do me a favor,
don't go chasing waterfalls.
1154
01:02:08,799 --> 01:02:11,301
Was that accidental, or were you trying
to quote TLC on purpose?
1155
01:02:12,136 --> 01:02:13,219
I don't even understand the reference.
1156
01:02:13,804 --> 01:02:15,889
- You don't understand what you said?
- I don't know what that is.
1157
01:02:15,973 --> 01:02:17,474
Get out. Go.
1158
01:02:28,152 --> 01:02:30,403
How did they get that story?
1159
01:02:31,988 --> 01:02:34,907
I'm tired of being treated like a jerk
for trying to do the right thing.
1160
01:02:34,991 --> 01:02:36,074
Hey, guys.
1161
01:02:36,493 --> 01:02:40,329
There's a proxy vote for a big reinvestment
of the pension coming up,
1162
01:02:40,413 --> 01:02:43,290
- so if you just wanna come by the old...
- Damn it, Bob!
1163
01:02:43,374 --> 01:02:44,458
Let me ask you something.
1164
01:02:44,542 --> 01:02:46,960
What do you even do around here
besides interrupt people?
1165
01:02:47,045 --> 01:02:50,047
Well, I serve as treasurer to the union.
1166
01:02:50,173 --> 01:02:52,966
I make a wicked pot of decaf.
1167
01:02:53,051 --> 01:02:56,345
Exactly! You're a worthless piece of shit!
1168
01:02:58,223 --> 01:03:01,892
Probably right, Terry.
That's why I feel so sad all the time.
1169
01:03:02,644 --> 01:03:04,478
I'm gonna go for a walk.
1170
01:03:04,562 --> 01:03:05,812
- Bob!
- Say something.
1171
01:03:05,939 --> 01:03:07,814
Come on! Bob!
1172
01:03:07,899 --> 01:03:10,817
I didn't mean it, all right? I'm upset.
1173
01:03:28,628 --> 01:03:33,715
Actually, we don't do that here.
This is an installation art piece.
1174
01:03:34,092 --> 01:03:36,176
- This coffee table?
- Yes. We don't put drinks on it.
1175
01:03:39,973 --> 01:03:42,641
- Five hundred thousand?
- He can read! Congratulations.
1176
01:03:43,101 --> 01:03:45,269
- What?
- I'm sorry, are you in the right place?
1177
01:03:45,353 --> 01:03:47,646
Or not? I'm...
1178
01:03:48,856 --> 01:03:50,023
- Terry.
- Does he... Okay.
1179
01:03:50,108 --> 01:03:53,360
- Well...
- Sorry. Terry! What are you doing here?
1180
01:03:54,612 --> 01:03:58,991
- I want to be with you.
- No, Terry, that's not gonna happen.
1181
01:03:59,367 --> 01:04:01,994
You know where you belong.
On top of me in the Poconos.
1182
01:04:02,829 --> 01:04:04,871
Instead, you're here
selling dirty coffee tables?
1183
01:04:05,039 --> 01:04:06,582
I mean, look at this. This is nonsense!
1184
01:04:06,665 --> 01:04:09,083
Terry, this is an original Haverfield-Jameson.
1185
01:04:09,459 --> 01:04:13,671
The chaos of the coffee table?
It represents our fractured egos.
1186
01:04:14,131 --> 01:04:16,132
You think I don't know
about this artsy-fartsy crap?
1187
01:04:16,508 --> 01:04:20,970
This coffee table isn't the ego. It represents
our shattered sense of community
1188
01:04:21,305 --> 01:04:23,055
in the face of capitalist-driven isolation.
1189
01:04:23,390 --> 01:04:25,933
Looks like the work of Cindy Sherman
or Frank Stella.
1190
01:04:26,602 --> 01:04:27,893
How did you know that, Terry?
1191
01:04:28,395 --> 01:04:29,770
I took some classes at RISD
1192
01:04:29,855 --> 01:04:32,148
so I could make fun of these lame artsy
douches in my neighborhood.
1193
01:04:32,232 --> 01:04:34,650
- Terry, lower your voice!
- I don't have to lower my voice.
1194
01:04:34,735 --> 01:04:37,528
- Is this man bothering you?
- Are you actually having sex with this creep?
1195
01:04:37,863 --> 01:04:39,697
Terry, he's gay. Okay?
1196
01:04:40,949 --> 01:04:43,618
He's even wearing a T-shirt that says,
"I'm gay"!
1197
01:04:43,910 --> 01:04:45,745
All right? And also, he is my boss.
1198
01:04:46,079 --> 01:04:47,246
Happy for you, man. Good.
1199
01:04:47,331 --> 01:04:49,206
Can you get out of here now?
I'm talking to my lady.
1200
01:04:49,416 --> 01:04:52,752
Mr. Reger, everything is fine.
Terry is actually leaving now.
1201
01:04:53,170 --> 01:04:55,254
Nice toot, sailor. Jesus.
1202
01:04:56,465 --> 01:04:58,424
Terry, what are you doing?
1203
01:04:58,925 --> 01:05:02,303
Look, I waited three years
for you to be more than a cop, okay?
1204
01:05:02,638 --> 01:05:03,888
Just give me one more year.
1205
01:05:04,306 --> 01:05:06,724
Terry, you don't get another year. I'm done.
1206
01:05:07,225 --> 01:05:08,267
Fine.
1207
01:05:08,769 --> 01:05:11,937
- Terry, don't touch that! Terry!
- Oh, my God!
1208
01:05:12,272 --> 01:05:14,231
I don't need this shit. I don't need you!
1209
01:05:15,233 --> 01:05:17,318
And when you call me, I'm not coming back!
1210
01:05:18,612 --> 01:05:21,656
- Oh, boy! Over the top!
- How outre!
1211
01:05:22,032 --> 01:05:24,158
I'll burn this bitch down to the ground!
1212
01:05:25,452 --> 01:05:27,787
- Fresh! Energetic!
- I love his rawness!
1213
01:05:28,163 --> 01:05:31,707
Stop critiquing me, okay?
I'm a human being! I'm not a piece of art!
1214
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:33,834
- Yes, you are.
- Bravo!
1215
01:05:34,169 --> 01:05:36,879
I'm a peacock flying into a rainbow!
1216
01:05:37,547 --> 01:05:39,632
Yes! Yes!
1217
01:05:49,266 --> 01:05:51,851
These braised short ribs taste
like a dog's asshole.
1218
01:05:51,977 --> 01:05:53,645
- Sweetie.
- You know what, I'm sitting here thinking,
1219
01:05:53,771 --> 01:05:56,898
"Who in the world would slow roast
a dog's asshole
1220
01:05:56,982 --> 01:05:58,942
"and serve it to their husband?"
1221
01:05:59,026 --> 01:06:02,445
- You would.
- You are being awful. What's wrong?
1222
01:06:02,530 --> 01:06:07,283
- Captain took us off the case.
- I'm sorry.
1223
01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:12,956
I told Terry about my dark days in college,
and it brought up some feelings.
1224
01:06:13,374 --> 01:06:18,586
Well, honey dick, that was a long time ago.
You're not that same person you were.
1225
01:06:18,713 --> 01:06:22,132
No, you don't get it.
There is a darkness inside of me.
1226
01:06:22,258 --> 01:06:25,218
It wants to get out. It wants to walk around.
1227
01:06:25,302 --> 01:06:28,430
It wants some walking around money,
and it wants to buy some shoes.
1228
01:06:28,556 --> 01:06:33,101
And it wants to walk up with the people
and say, "Hey, Gator don't play no shit."
1229
01:06:33,436 --> 01:06:34,769
- You feel me?
- Yeah.
1230
01:06:34,895 --> 01:06:38,940
Gator never been about that,
never been about playing no shit.
1231
01:06:41,986 --> 01:06:43,987
- Sweetie, I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
1232
01:06:44,613 --> 01:06:47,991
- I just...
- Remember that night we met?
1233
01:06:48,784 --> 01:06:53,455
The attending physician told me,
"We got a drugged-out pimp in the back."
1234
01:06:54,165 --> 01:06:57,584
And I went back there,
and I pulled open that curtain,
1235
01:06:57,668 --> 01:06:59,252
and I saw you.
1236
01:06:59,962 --> 01:07:02,839
You were weak, scared,
1237
01:07:02,965 --> 01:07:07,051
ass up, inflamed, crying.
1238
01:07:07,136 --> 01:07:12,307
At that moment, I knew.
"Hey, he's no pimp. Pimps don't cry."
1239
01:07:13,267 --> 01:07:21,566
Pimps don't cry
1240
01:07:21,649 --> 01:07:24,610
No, they don't
1241
01:07:24,986 --> 01:07:27,946
They don't shed a tear
1242
01:07:28,656 --> 01:07:33,994
Pimps don't cry
1243
01:07:34,204 --> 01:07:36,163
They never shed a tear
1244
01:07:41,002 --> 01:07:44,463
Come lay with me.
Be safe, and let's make love. Come on.
1245
01:07:44,547 --> 01:07:46,965
Every time you say, "Be safe,"
it tears me apart.
1246
01:07:47,050 --> 01:07:49,676
You gotta let me be who I'm gonna be.
1247
01:07:51,221 --> 01:07:53,722
Allen, I'm pregnant.
1248
01:07:54,641 --> 01:07:55,974
Whose baby is that?
1249
01:07:56,059 --> 01:07:59,520
Who's the man who did that to you?
Gator's bitches better be using jimmies!
1250
01:08:01,356 --> 01:08:04,441
I'm sorry. See, that's what I'm talking about.
1251
01:08:04,526 --> 01:08:06,193
Oh, my God.
1252
01:08:08,029 --> 01:08:09,446
You need to leave.
1253
01:08:09,531 --> 01:08:13,200
Get out! Get out, Allen! Get out!
1254
01:08:29,926 --> 01:08:31,051
Hey.
1255
01:08:32,095 --> 01:08:34,680
Hey. What are you doing here?
1256
01:08:37,100 --> 01:08:42,187
Come here when I have lady troubles,
which means I come here about every night.
1257
01:08:42,272 --> 01:08:44,356
What are you doing here?
1258
01:08:45,525 --> 01:08:48,026
Sheila and I got into it tonight.
1259
01:08:48,903 --> 01:08:51,196
She threw me out.
1260
01:08:52,240 --> 01:08:55,242
Well, you're not a cop till your wife
throws you out of the house, partner.
1261
01:08:55,367 --> 01:08:59,203
Does it bother you that the Castien robbers
only took 74 grand in diamonds?
1262
01:08:59,538 --> 01:09:01,956
They're junkies. Who cares? I mean...
1263
01:09:02,082 --> 01:09:05,835
I don't know if a junkie can go down
a 20-story zipline, though.
1264
01:09:05,919 --> 01:09:06,961
How you fellas doing?
1265
01:09:08,505 --> 01:09:11,674
We're about to have us a little screw party
in this red Prius over here
1266
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:13,009
if you wanna join us.
1267
01:09:13,093 --> 01:09:15,177
You're not going
anywhere near that Prius, okay?
1268
01:09:15,512 --> 01:09:18,347
Here's what we're talking about.
We're talking about a bunch of hobos
1269
01:09:18,807 --> 01:09:20,725
with fingers in each other's pooper
1270
01:09:20,809 --> 01:09:23,603
in a stranger's car
with talk radio playing really loud.
1271
01:09:23,687 --> 01:09:24,854
It's gonna be a nice evening.
1272
01:09:25,188 --> 01:09:27,523
Well, we're not participating in that.
We have no interest.
1273
01:09:27,691 --> 01:09:28,816
Let me rephrase it.
1274
01:09:29,192 --> 01:09:32,028
We got a jar of old mustard,
and we got a poodle,
1275
01:09:32,237 --> 01:09:35,406
and we're just get in there
and we're gonna put some D's in some A's.
1276
01:09:35,741 --> 01:09:37,575
Hey, are you Dirty Mike and the boys?
1277
01:09:37,659 --> 01:09:40,202
- How do you know who we are?
- You left a note in that car.
1278
01:09:40,287 --> 01:09:42,872
- Police, shithead.
- He's a copper. We gotta go. Come on!
1279
01:09:42,956 --> 01:09:44,790
Hey! Goose it, boys! They're cops!
1280
01:09:45,250 --> 01:09:47,001
Rub your dicks on the car
as you're running away!
1281
01:09:47,085 --> 01:09:49,420
You turned my beautiful Prius
into a nightmare!
1282
01:09:49,546 --> 01:09:53,215
We are gonna have sex in your car!
It will happen again!
1283
01:09:55,344 --> 01:09:57,011
I don't know where I'm gonna sleep tonight.
1284
01:09:57,095 --> 01:09:58,888
Fortunately, I know
where you're gonna be drinking.
1285
01:09:59,014 --> 01:10:01,265
Jack of All Trades. Drinks on me. Come on.
1286
01:10:01,850 --> 01:10:03,517
- No, I already have a beer.
- No, no, no, no.
1287
01:10:03,852 --> 01:10:06,187
I'm talking about doing
some serious drinking.
1288
01:10:06,313 --> 01:10:07,647
Drinking with Terry Hoitz.
1289
01:10:56,529 --> 01:10:58,363
This sucks, man.
Work our ass off on this case,
1290
01:10:58,447 --> 01:11:00,031
now we gotta hand over
all of our evidence?
1291
01:11:00,116 --> 01:11:01,366
Yeah, it's not right.
1292
01:11:01,450 --> 01:11:03,535
Oh, my God, I'm hungover.
1293
01:11:05,913 --> 01:11:07,080
So, you guys are law enforcement?
1294
01:11:07,415 --> 01:11:09,290
Yeah, we're an independent
government agency who,
1295
01:11:09,417 --> 01:11:11,251
along with the FBI and the Federal Reserve,
1296
01:11:11,377 --> 01:11:13,545
regulate the stock market
and corporate fraud.
1297
01:11:13,879 --> 01:11:16,464
And the Federal Reserve is a prison?
1298
01:11:16,757 --> 01:11:19,467
No, basically, it's a held-for-profit bank
that sets interest rates
1299
01:11:19,593 --> 01:11:20,969
and loans money to other banks.
1300
01:11:21,554 --> 01:11:23,722
- Is that a wastebasket?
- Yeah, right there.
1301
01:11:23,806 --> 01:11:25,223
Thank you.
1302
01:11:26,934 --> 01:11:30,270
- You all right?
- Holy hell!
1303
01:11:31,897 --> 01:11:33,606
I'm so sorry.
1304
01:11:34,150 --> 01:11:35,525
I got so drunk last night.
1305
01:11:35,609 --> 01:11:39,487
I think I thought a tube of toothpaste
was astronaut food.
1306
01:11:40,614 --> 01:11:42,407
Come on in, fellas.
1307
01:11:43,451 --> 01:11:45,660
You gotta be kidding me.
You're Ershon's lawyer.
1308
01:11:45,786 --> 01:11:47,495
We're turning over our investigation to you?
1309
01:11:47,955 --> 01:11:50,165
Let me assure you there will be
no conflict of interest
1310
01:11:50,291 --> 01:11:51,708
between me and David Ershon.
1311
01:11:51,792 --> 01:11:55,920
And if this were an actual investigation,
I would immediately recuse myself.
1312
01:11:56,005 --> 01:12:00,258
This is all the evidence we have,
and I truly hope you take this seriously.
1313
01:12:00,342 --> 01:12:01,634
Yes. Very much so.
1314
01:12:01,761 --> 01:12:03,470
From everything I've heard, I understand
1315
01:12:03,596 --> 01:12:06,806
you guys are the best
at these types of investigations.
1316
01:12:06,932 --> 01:12:09,642
Outside of Enron and AIG
1317
01:12:09,768 --> 01:12:11,185
and Bernie Madoff,
1318
01:12:11,811 --> 01:12:14,521
WorldCom, Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers.
1319
01:12:14,647 --> 01:12:16,482
Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Detective.
1320
01:12:16,608 --> 01:12:18,358
- Would you like a seat, or you're fine?
- No, I'm good.
1321
01:12:18,485 --> 01:12:20,110
Okay. Let me just assure you fellas,
1322
01:12:20,528 --> 01:12:23,030
David Ershon is an upstanding citizen.
1323
01:12:23,823 --> 01:12:25,532
I am playing squash with him
tonight at the club,
1324
01:12:25,658 --> 01:12:26,742
and we're having dinner.
1325
01:12:26,826 --> 01:12:29,119
You listen to me,
you Windsor knot-wearing monkey,
1326
01:12:29,204 --> 01:12:31,288
you play squash with Ershon, right?
1327
01:12:31,372 --> 01:12:34,625
Your kids go to school with his?
How would you know if he's clean or not?
1328
01:12:34,709 --> 01:12:36,376
I will take a look at your evidence,
1329
01:12:36,503 --> 01:12:37,669
and I will take a second look
at the financials.
1330
01:12:38,379 --> 01:12:40,464
And when I come back and bust your ass,
1331
01:12:40,548 --> 01:12:43,050
we're locking David Ershon
in the Federal Reserve!
1332
01:12:43,176 --> 01:12:44,635
He still doesn't understand the concept.
1333
01:13:05,990 --> 01:13:07,366
What are you doing?
1334
01:13:08,076 --> 01:13:11,370
We just handed all of our evidence over
to the bad guy's lawyer!
1335
01:13:11,454 --> 01:13:13,705
Are you a big man, huh?
1336
01:13:13,790 --> 01:13:15,249
- I'm talking to you.
- What?
1337
01:13:15,416 --> 01:13:18,168
You wake up in the morning, you say,
"I'm putting on my big boy pants"?
1338
01:13:18,253 --> 01:13:19,503
"Look, I'm wearing a belt!
1339
01:13:19,587 --> 01:13:21,755
- "I've got big boy pants on!"
- No!
1340
01:13:21,965 --> 01:13:23,757
You borrow a little jacket, you go?
1341
01:13:23,925 --> 01:13:26,009
You take your lunch
'cause you got big boy pants on?
1342
01:13:26,511 --> 01:13:28,345
You got your big boy pants and your snack?
1343
01:13:29,097 --> 01:13:30,764
I could say big, loud things!
1344
01:13:31,266 --> 01:13:32,641
I could be demonstrative!
1345
01:13:32,976 --> 01:13:34,893
- Stop!
- We don't, we don't do this!
1346
01:13:34,978 --> 01:13:37,104
You're scaring the shit out of me, man!
Stop it!
1347
01:13:37,188 --> 01:13:40,399
Is this how you conduct yourself?
In a democracy?
1348
01:13:40,483 --> 01:13:42,150
What the hell are you doing, man?
1349
01:13:42,610 --> 01:13:46,989
I'm so tired of you getting angry
and yelling all the time.
1350
01:13:47,906 --> 01:13:49,574
It's exhausting.
1351
01:13:51,702 --> 01:13:53,578
I feel like I'm partners with the Hulk.
1352
01:13:53,954 --> 01:13:56,414
You wanna know why
I'm so angry all the time?
1353
01:13:56,498 --> 01:13:59,876
'Cause the more I try and do right,
the more I screw things up.
1354
01:14:00,627 --> 01:14:05,631
We've got a possible jumperat 3 World Financial Center, 23rd floor.
1355
01:14:05,716 --> 01:14:07,967
All units, fire department, en route.
1356
01:14:08,051 --> 01:14:10,386
- SEC.
- Beaman's office.
1357
01:14:10,512 --> 01:14:11,888
We have to go.
1358
01:14:12,139 --> 01:14:13,848
- But the Captain.
- We have to go, Allen.
1359
01:14:13,974 --> 01:14:18,686
All units, I need a respondent.Possible jumper, 3 World Financial Center.
1360
01:14:29,823 --> 01:14:32,033
Shit. It's Beaman!
1361
01:14:32,826 --> 01:14:35,661
- He's gotta know something.
- Wesley!
1362
01:14:35,871 --> 01:14:37,705
Detective Hoitz and Gamble. We got this.
1363
01:14:38,206 --> 01:14:40,249
I took an online class
at University of Phoenix on negotiating.
1364
01:14:40,876 --> 01:14:43,002
I'm gonna need a priest and a bullhorn.
1365
01:14:43,086 --> 01:14:45,463
- I got no bullhorn.
- Does anyone have a bullhorn?
1366
01:14:45,547 --> 01:14:47,757
- Bullhorn, anyone?
- Truck.
1367
01:14:48,842 --> 01:14:50,801
Police business.
I need to use your PA system.
1368
01:14:50,886 --> 01:14:52,178
Okay, let me turn it on.
1369
01:14:54,056 --> 01:14:56,891
Mr. Beaman? Mr. Don Beaman?
1370
01:14:57,017 --> 01:15:00,186
It's Wesley. I know Ershon's Wesley's...
1371
01:15:00,270 --> 01:15:03,105
Look, there's a lot to live for in this life.
1372
01:15:03,231 --> 01:15:08,235
A lot of great things, like soda pop,big fresh can of soda pop.
1373
01:15:08,362 --> 01:15:09,695
They do not care!
1374
01:15:09,780 --> 01:15:12,073
Give me this. I know how to talk to him.
1375
01:15:12,199 --> 01:15:15,826
Listen, we all know you're a scumbag,and nobody cares about you.
1376
01:15:15,911 --> 01:15:17,244
Rotten piece of shit.
1377
01:15:17,371 --> 01:15:19,288
That's worse than what I was saying.
1378
01:15:19,748 --> 01:15:21,290
I'm not gonna lie to you, Don.
1379
01:15:21,415 --> 01:15:25,126
People down here are starting to murmurthat you don't have the balls to do it.
1380
01:15:25,544 --> 01:15:27,545
- I don't care!
- Yeah.
1381
01:15:27,630 --> 01:15:29,965
I say you can do it.
1382
01:15:30,758 --> 01:15:34,761
I mean, I don't want you to jump.I'm just saying you have the capability.
1383
01:15:35,304 --> 01:15:36,429
Look, he's flying!
1384
01:15:42,103 --> 01:15:43,395
Stop that.
1385
01:15:44,105 --> 01:15:45,981
Half empty bottle of gin. Chair knocked over.
1386
01:15:46,107 --> 01:15:49,109
Look at this, it's a clear sign of a struggle.
Make sure you get this, all right?
1387
01:15:49,944 --> 01:15:52,779
Detectives, all your work's done here.
You can go.
1388
01:15:52,905 --> 01:15:54,447
What about Ershon targeting the lottery?
1389
01:15:54,573 --> 01:15:58,702
You know why Ershon was calling down
to the lottery offices all those times?
1390
01:15:58,786 --> 01:16:00,787
Because he was hooking up
with the Powerball girl,
1391
01:16:00,913 --> 01:16:03,164
the one on TV with all the numbered balls.
1392
01:16:03,290 --> 01:16:05,458
Yeah. She filed a restraining order on him
last week.
1393
01:16:05,960 --> 01:16:07,752
It was right there in front of you
the whole time.
1394
01:16:07,837 --> 01:16:09,796
- Can't be.
- You guys are getting transferred.
1395
01:16:09,922 --> 01:16:12,007
- What?
- Traffic.
1396
01:16:12,133 --> 01:16:13,216
Yeah, that's right.
1397
01:16:13,300 --> 01:16:16,970
You, you're gonna walk a beat downtown.
You're gonna walk a beat downtown.
1398
01:16:17,096 --> 01:16:19,389
- It's done. No, no. It's done.
- Captain, what are you talking about?
1399
01:16:19,473 --> 01:16:21,349
- Save yourselves some gas.
- Captain!
1400
01:16:21,934 --> 01:16:23,268
Is there an appeal process we can...
1401
01:16:23,352 --> 01:16:26,521
Had to do what you had to do, Captain.
1402
01:16:26,647 --> 01:16:28,815
Wow! That hurt.
1403
01:16:30,985 --> 01:16:33,111
- Excuse me. Where's my car?
- They towed it.
1404
01:16:33,195 --> 01:16:35,655
Couple of homeless people
were messing around in it.
1405
01:16:35,781 --> 01:16:39,451
- That's an official police car.
- Could have fooled me.
1406
01:16:44,540 --> 01:16:45,832
Wow, Mauch was upset, huh?
1407
01:16:46,375 --> 01:16:47,542
Really?
1408
01:16:47,668 --> 01:16:50,003
The only thing I had to be proud of
in my life was being a detective.
1409
01:16:50,129 --> 01:16:52,672
That was all I had. Now it's gone.
1410
01:16:53,382 --> 01:16:55,884
I know. I know. You still got me.
1411
01:16:56,010 --> 01:16:59,512
Don't you get it?
I don't want you, Allen, okay? I never did.
1412
01:16:59,637 --> 01:17:01,847
I told you that scaffolding violation
was dogshit.
1413
01:17:02,182 --> 01:17:04,266
I can't believe you still doubt me
after everything we've seen.
1414
01:17:04,350 --> 01:17:08,896
It's a real case, and I'm a real cop.
We just got the wrong target for Ershon.
1415
01:17:09,022 --> 01:17:11,231
- You carry a rape whistle.
- This is real cop work.
1416
01:17:11,357 --> 01:17:14,151
There is nothing about you
that makes a man a man, okay?
1417
01:17:14,235 --> 01:17:17,654
You got no gun, no car, no wife,
and now you got no partner.
1418
01:17:17,739 --> 01:17:19,364
Leave me alone.
1419
01:17:19,991 --> 01:17:21,450
A mutt case.
1420
01:17:21,534 --> 01:17:24,078
Terry, I am a cop,
for your information, okay?
1421
01:17:24,204 --> 01:17:26,330
A broken partnership.
1422
01:17:26,414 --> 01:17:27,539
I'm a cop!
1423
01:17:27,665 --> 01:17:31,293
And getting busted downto a shitty assignment.
1424
01:17:31,377 --> 01:17:34,505
Allen and Terry hit the trifecta.
1425
01:17:37,217 --> 01:17:40,344
But sometimeswhen you get your ass kicked,
1426
01:17:41,554 --> 01:17:44,223
that's when you find out what's real...
1427
01:17:46,559 --> 01:17:48,602
... and what needs doing.
1428
01:17:54,567 --> 01:17:56,610
Whether it's directing traffic...
1429
01:17:56,736 --> 01:17:57,736
Come on!
1430
01:17:58,238 --> 01:18:01,698
... or cracking a multibillion dollar fraud.
1431
01:18:13,128 --> 01:18:15,212
- Do you work here?
- Yeah, I do.
1432
01:18:15,296 --> 01:18:18,132
The wrecking ball that crashed into Castien
down there.
1433
01:18:18,258 --> 01:18:19,800
They also did damage to your office?
1434
01:18:19,926 --> 01:18:22,427
Some police officers came by
and sealed it off.
1435
01:18:22,554 --> 01:18:23,846
Do you recall what they looked like?
1436
01:18:23,930 --> 01:18:26,640
One of them had an Australian accent.
1437
01:18:27,225 --> 01:18:30,978
You don't happen to do any business
for the state lottery, do you?
1438
01:18:31,104 --> 01:18:34,439
No. Our main client is Lendl Global.
1439
01:18:34,565 --> 01:18:36,149
Can I ask what this is about?
1440
01:18:49,621 --> 01:18:51,831
Gator needs his gat, you punkass bitch!
1441
01:19:01,258 --> 01:19:03,301
'Cause that's what a real cop is.
1442
01:19:03,427 --> 01:19:05,887
No, I didn't say "Lock her up."
I never said, "Lock her up."
1443
01:19:05,971 --> 01:19:08,764
A guy who does what needs to be done.
1444
01:19:08,849 --> 01:19:12,810
A guy who knows how to use his dark sidefor good.
1445
01:19:12,936 --> 01:19:14,520
And then you move to Florida.
1446
01:19:23,822 --> 01:19:24,989
One, two, three, attack!
1447
01:19:27,659 --> 01:19:28,868
Terry, it's me.
1448
01:19:28,994 --> 01:19:31,204
- Tap out. Tap out.
- It's me, Allen.
1449
01:19:31,330 --> 01:19:32,872
Are you tapping out,
or are you hitting me in the face?
1450
01:19:32,998 --> 01:19:34,665
I'm tapping you out!
1451
01:19:35,500 --> 01:19:38,544
You crazy? What are you doing, man?
1452
01:19:38,670 --> 01:19:40,087
- They might be watching us.
- Could've killed you.
1453
01:19:40,172 --> 01:19:41,297
- Turn out the lights.
- What?
1454
01:19:41,381 --> 01:19:42,506
- They could be watching us.
- Who?
1455
01:19:42,841 --> 01:19:45,343
I found some big information, okay?
1456
01:19:45,469 --> 01:19:48,554
- About what?
- Some scary shit, Terry. This is big.
1457
01:19:48,847 --> 01:19:51,641
How'd you get in here?
This place is foolproof.
1458
01:19:51,725 --> 01:19:54,185
- We can't be too careful.
- What are you talking about?
1459
01:19:54,311 --> 01:19:57,480
- This place might be bugged.
- There's no bugs in here.
1460
01:20:01,693 --> 01:20:04,695
First off, I missed you.
1461
01:20:04,821 --> 01:20:07,573
- What's going on?
- Did you hear what I said?
1462
01:20:07,699 --> 01:20:11,661
- Fine, I kind of missed you, too.
- Thank you.
1463
01:20:11,744 --> 01:20:16,039
Okay. I found out whose losses
Ershon has to cover.
1464
01:20:16,165 --> 01:20:18,416
- It's Lendl Global.
- What?
1465
01:20:18,542 --> 01:20:21,044
Lendl staged the Castien robbery
as a distraction
1466
01:20:21,170 --> 01:20:24,130
so they could break into
their own accounting firm next door.
1467
01:20:24,215 --> 01:20:27,425
They then altered all the records
to cover the losses
1468
01:20:27,551 --> 01:20:30,345
that Ershon had cost them
through all of his bad investments.
1469
01:20:30,554 --> 01:20:33,848
You're not supposed to be doing this.
You're supposed to be walking the beat.
1470
01:20:33,933 --> 01:20:36,559
I know. Pretty tricky, though, huh?
1471
01:20:37,061 --> 01:20:39,062
This is bad, Allen. This is bad.
1472
01:20:39,188 --> 01:20:41,606
No wonder the captain wanted us
to stay out of this.
1473
01:20:41,732 --> 01:20:43,817
Yeah, I bet
Beaman started asking questions.
1474
01:20:43,901 --> 01:20:45,860
- That's why they killed him.
- Man.
1475
01:20:45,945 --> 01:20:47,112
Here's the other thing.
1476
01:20:47,238 --> 01:20:49,239
Tomorrow, there's a massive
business deal going down.
1477
01:20:49,407 --> 01:20:50,782
Ershon's leading it.
1478
01:20:50,908 --> 01:20:53,743
I still can't figure out who the poor sucker is
they're making the deal with,
1479
01:20:53,869 --> 01:20:54,995
but we gotta stop it.
1480
01:20:55,079 --> 01:20:56,746
It's time to let the peacock fly.
1481
01:20:57,790 --> 01:20:59,708
I'm not going, Allen. I like what I do.
1482
01:21:00,084 --> 01:21:02,210
So do I. We're cops.
1483
01:21:02,295 --> 01:21:06,840
No. I like what I do now.
I like working traffic. It's a great gig.
1484
01:21:06,924 --> 01:21:07,966
What?
1485
01:21:08,592 --> 01:21:12,345
I like working traffic. I'm not going with you.
1486
01:21:12,430 --> 01:21:14,931
What is this traffic bullshit?
1487
01:21:18,769 --> 01:21:22,272
- What are you talking about?
- I'm talking about my life.
1488
01:21:22,398 --> 01:21:25,066
The corner I run on 54th and 3rd Avenue?
It hums.
1489
01:21:25,151 --> 01:21:28,862
It's Terry's intersection.
And the traffic guys? They're good guys.
1490
01:21:28,946 --> 01:21:31,990
There's this one guy, Phillip?
He can pee in the urinal from 20 feet.
1491
01:21:32,116 --> 01:21:33,241
You've gotta see it, Allen. You've got to.
1492
01:21:33,326 --> 01:21:35,952
What happened to you?
What happened to this being our time?
1493
01:21:36,287 --> 01:21:38,455
No way, Allen. I'm out. I'm done.
1494
01:21:39,665 --> 01:21:42,584
- Get in the car.
- Come on, Allen. We both know it's wooden.
1495
01:21:44,128 --> 01:21:47,922
- Apartment pop. Now get in the car.
- You're not gonna shoot me.
1496
01:21:48,006 --> 01:21:50,591
Okay, I'll be honest. This is only
the second time I've ever fired this.
1497
01:21:50,800 --> 01:21:51,967
So stop pointing it at me.
1498
01:21:52,093 --> 01:21:56,138
Look, tomorrow morning,
all I know is I'm going to Mauch, all right?
1499
01:21:56,348 --> 01:21:57,514
For what? He doesn't care.
1500
01:21:57,640 --> 01:22:00,768
He's been dodging this case for too long
and I want answers.
1501
01:22:00,852 --> 01:22:03,103
I want him to look me in the eye
and tell me why.
1502
01:22:03,188 --> 01:22:05,981
Turn on the news, man. Nobody cares.
1503
01:22:06,649 --> 01:22:08,025
I hope I'm not alone.
1504
01:22:08,818 --> 01:22:11,362
Hope you bring it.
1505
01:22:13,114 --> 01:22:15,199
We got a big day out there. Big one.
1506
01:22:15,325 --> 01:22:17,826
We got a full moon.
People are gonna be amped, all right?
1507
01:22:18,161 --> 01:22:20,662
Let's see what we got on hot tips, all right?
1508
01:22:22,207 --> 01:22:23,332
The new bathmats are in.
1509
01:22:26,169 --> 01:22:30,339
One more thing.
We got a serial rapist in Crown Heights.
1510
01:22:30,465 --> 01:22:33,926
Jeez, I'm sorry. That's from my other job.
Ignore that. Forget that.
1511
01:22:34,010 --> 01:22:35,177
Well, don't ignore it.
1512
01:22:35,303 --> 01:22:38,472
If you live in Crown Heights,
you know, walk in pairs.
1513
01:22:38,556 --> 01:22:42,893
Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories.Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories.
1514
01:22:43,019 --> 01:22:46,647
I gotta go. Go get 'em.
Let's be careful out there.
1515
01:22:48,691 --> 01:22:49,817
The oak.
1516
01:22:49,901 --> 01:22:53,445
I like to keep the oak together
and the maple separately, okay?
1517
01:22:53,530 --> 01:22:54,655
And these chopping boards?
1518
01:22:54,864 --> 01:22:55,989
Hey, Captain.
1519
01:22:57,367 --> 01:22:59,910
Hey, Allen. Hey, how you doing?
1520
01:23:00,036 --> 01:23:01,829
What are you doing here?
Are you here for the bathmats?
1521
01:23:02,330 --> 01:23:05,958
- I need you to be straight with me.
- Straight with us.
1522
01:23:06,042 --> 01:23:08,752
Hey, Terry. Look at this.
1523
01:23:08,878 --> 01:23:12,548
- I thought you were working traffic today.
- Let them block the box.
1524
01:23:12,924 --> 01:23:16,385
- Besides, partners' code, right?
- Thanks.
1525
01:23:17,929 --> 01:23:20,556
Hey, why have you worked your ass off
trying to kill this case?
1526
01:23:22,015 --> 01:23:25,059
All right, fine.
I'm gonna tell you guys something.
1527
01:23:25,185 --> 01:23:28,438
You really went into deep water on this one.
You really went in deep.
1528
01:23:28,564 --> 01:23:30,481
Ershon's connected to all the higher ups,
1529
01:23:30,566 --> 01:23:33,443
and I gotta save
what little ass I have left, okay?
1530
01:23:34,069 --> 01:23:36,237
You keep hiding from shit in the world,
1531
01:23:36,363 --> 01:23:38,573
and eventually the world
comes to your front door.
1532
01:23:39,074 --> 01:23:41,284
- Nice.
- That's very nice.
1533
01:23:41,410 --> 01:23:42,952
I heard it in an episode
of Touched By An Angel.
1534
01:23:43,537 --> 01:23:47,498
You keep this thing real quiet,
and you make sure you have real evidence,
1535
01:23:47,583 --> 01:23:49,167
and maybe I'll see what I can do.
1536
01:23:49,251 --> 01:23:50,460
But if you make a lot of noise
1537
01:23:50,586 --> 01:23:53,713
and you attract the media attention,
and you bring the DA in on this,
1538
01:23:53,797 --> 01:23:55,381
I am out, okay?
1539
01:23:55,466 --> 01:23:56,757
Yeah, we'll go in there like church mice.
1540
01:23:56,884 --> 01:24:01,220
But there's one case,
one case in a career where you go all in.
1541
01:24:01,305 --> 01:24:02,430
This is it.
1542
01:24:03,056 --> 01:24:06,392
All right. Then you do us proud.
1543
01:24:06,894 --> 01:24:08,144
'Cause I don't want no scrubs.
1544
01:24:08,896 --> 01:24:11,397
- Really?
- No.
1545
01:24:11,482 --> 01:24:14,817
- You're not aware that's a TLC song?
- I have no idea what you're talking about.
1546
01:24:15,110 --> 01:24:16,486
- Second time.
- You said chasing waterfalls,
1547
01:24:16,612 --> 01:24:17,737
now you're saying you don't want no scrubs.
1548
01:24:17,821 --> 01:24:19,614
- I don't even understand the reference.
- It's like a tic.
1549
01:24:19,740 --> 01:24:20,823
I have no idea what you're talking about.
1550
01:24:20,949 --> 01:24:23,242
Remember, this thing gets messy,
we never talked.
1551
01:24:23,619 --> 01:24:25,328
- You can trust us.
- Real quiet.
1552
01:24:25,454 --> 01:24:27,747
You gotta creep. Creep.
1553
01:24:27,956 --> 01:24:29,290
Come on.
1554
01:24:30,250 --> 01:24:32,752
You don't say "Creep-creep"
unless you're quoting TLC.
1555
01:24:32,961 --> 01:24:34,337
Hey, guys.
1556
01:24:35,297 --> 01:24:37,173
You know Danson and Highsmith
were not good cops, right?
1557
01:24:37,841 --> 01:24:39,634
Yeah, I guess we kind of knew that,
but it's a drag.
1558
01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:41,636
I mean, at a certain point,
who's left to be a hero?
1559
01:24:41,970 --> 01:24:45,139
Not to be corny, maybe it's you guys.
1560
01:24:46,600 --> 01:24:48,100
You ready?
1561
01:24:48,185 --> 01:24:49,852
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
1562
01:24:58,362 --> 01:25:00,738
- No, but the highlights are great.
- Thank you.
1563
01:25:00,821 --> 01:25:02,906
- Sexy but serious.
- Thank you.
1564
01:25:02,990 --> 01:25:04,366
Excuse me.
1565
01:25:05,368 --> 01:25:08,036
Who the hell are all these people?
I was only expecting one man.
1566
01:25:08,162 --> 01:25:12,624
You know, they're just some people
I owe money to who wanted to be here.
1567
01:25:12,708 --> 01:25:13,833
Who are they?
1568
01:25:15,336 --> 01:25:20,006
Well, they are some Chechen patriots,
entrepreneurs.
1569
01:25:20,132 --> 01:25:25,929
And the black chaps
are some businessmen from Nigeria.
1570
01:25:26,013 --> 01:25:28,223
You owe money
to the Nigerians and Chechens?
1571
01:25:28,349 --> 01:25:29,808
Yes. Yes, I do.
1572
01:25:29,892 --> 01:25:33,061
- You're a piece of work.
- Thank you.
1573
01:25:33,229 --> 01:25:36,648
Probably best to get started.
1574
01:25:37,024 --> 01:25:40,485
This is good, baby.
We're in the game, we know the score.
1575
01:25:40,570 --> 01:25:43,488
The only thing that bugs me is
we still don't know who Ershon's targeting.
1576
01:25:43,573 --> 01:25:47,659
- Is it the lotto? Who is it?
- Who cares? Some rich prick.
1577
01:25:47,743 --> 01:25:53,707
I have to tell you,
I am tremendously excited by this deal.
1578
01:25:53,833 --> 01:25:56,251
And I can assure you
that every dime of your money
1579
01:25:56,377 --> 01:25:59,379
will be invested with the utmost diligence.
1580
01:25:59,505 --> 01:26:01,423
Your rates of return are really exciting.
1581
01:26:01,549 --> 01:26:03,049
We think our members
are gonna be just thrilled.
1582
01:26:03,175 --> 01:26:07,012
Yeah. I mean, we've averaged,
like, 18% over the last 10 years.
1583
01:26:08,055 --> 01:26:10,265
All right.
Quiet as a church mouse, in and out.
1584
01:26:10,391 --> 01:26:12,601
I can feel that tingling in my balls
you were talking about.
1585
01:26:12,727 --> 01:26:13,768
Beautiful.
1586
01:26:13,894 --> 01:26:15,270
All right, listen up.
1587
01:26:15,396 --> 01:26:18,273
I am Detective Gamble.
This is Detective Hoitz.
1588
01:26:18,399 --> 01:26:20,525
We need your cooperation.
1589
01:26:20,610 --> 01:26:22,068
David Ershon.
1590
01:26:22,194 --> 01:26:24,487
You're under arrest for fraud, embezzlement,
1591
01:26:24,572 --> 01:26:26,281
and in connection
to the murder of Don Beaman.
1592
01:26:26,782 --> 01:26:28,241
This is a bad idea.
1593
01:26:28,743 --> 01:26:30,076
Hey, guys.
1594
01:26:31,704 --> 01:26:34,122
Bob? What are you doing here?
1595
01:26:34,582 --> 01:26:35,915
I'm investing.
1596
01:26:36,041 --> 01:26:38,417
Do you remember we talked about
that proxy vote a while back?
1597
01:26:38,543 --> 01:26:40,127
- This is what it was for.
- Holy shit.
1598
01:26:40,253 --> 01:26:42,755
It's a more aggressive investment strategy
for the pension.
1599
01:26:42,881 --> 01:26:47,092
Allen! We're the suckers.
They're targeting the police pension fund.
1600
01:26:53,433 --> 01:26:57,061
Gentlemen, you're here illegally
and without a warrant.
1601
01:26:57,937 --> 01:26:59,438
We are within our rights to take action.
1602
01:27:57,831 --> 01:27:59,748
So much for quiet as church mice!
1603
01:28:00,166 --> 01:28:01,291
Go!
1604
01:28:06,464 --> 01:28:07,798
Who the hell are those guys?
1605
01:28:07,882 --> 01:28:10,926
Gentlemen, I can get you
obstructed view tickets for Rock of Ages.
1606
01:28:11,010 --> 01:28:14,972
Even I admit that's not very tempting,
but I'm not made of tickets, God damn it!
1607
01:28:15,055 --> 01:28:17,014
- Get in the front!
- How do you start this freaking thing?
1608
01:28:17,307 --> 01:28:18,307
Go on! Go!
1609
01:28:19,017 --> 01:28:20,017
- Shit!
- Go!
1610
01:28:22,479 --> 01:28:23,479
Oh, my...
1611
01:28:24,898 --> 01:28:27,775
Jeanie! Get over here!
You, go get the bloody car!
1612
01:29:14,364 --> 01:29:15,364
Hold the wheel!
1613
01:29:21,038 --> 01:29:23,414
- Open the back!
- I got it. I got it!
1614
01:29:31,381 --> 01:29:34,300
They're gonna kill me.
And then they will kill you.
1615
01:29:34,426 --> 01:29:36,802
- Well, I'm gonna kill you first!
- And then they will kill me.
1616
01:29:36,929 --> 01:29:39,972
We have two rogue police officers.They are armed and dangerous,
1617
01:29:40,057 --> 01:29:41,724
- and holding David Ershon hostage.
- Stupid pricks!
1618
01:29:41,808 --> 01:29:45,311
- It's us, we're good guys!
- Exactly. They're the good guys.
1619
01:29:45,395 --> 01:29:47,563
Where do we go? Where do we go?
1620
01:29:47,647 --> 01:29:50,315
I have a small apartment.
No one knows about it.
1621
01:29:50,399 --> 01:29:53,068
I use it mainly for my parents
and prostitutes.
1622
01:29:53,152 --> 01:29:55,278
Not at the same time. That would be wrong.
1623
01:29:58,491 --> 01:30:01,576
Let's hear it from the top, every detail.
1624
01:30:01,661 --> 01:30:06,498
I think the best way to tell the story
is by starting at the end, briefly,
1625
01:30:06,582 --> 01:30:11,586
then going back to the beginning,
and then periodically returning to the end,
1626
01:30:11,671 --> 01:30:14,756
maybe giving different characters'
perspectives throughout.
1627
01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:18,093
Just to give it a bit of dynamism,
otherwise, it's just sort of a linear story.
1628
01:30:18,177 --> 01:30:19,344
Just tell us what happened.
1629
01:30:19,470 --> 01:30:22,180
I lost a bunch of money from some people
and now they want it back.
1630
01:30:22,515 --> 01:30:23,848
What about Don Beaman?
1631
01:30:23,933 --> 01:30:26,434
Beaman knew
that I had falsified my financials,
1632
01:30:26,519 --> 01:30:29,437
so they sent down Wesley
to try and keep him quiet.
1633
01:30:29,522 --> 01:30:31,356
He forced him at gunpoint
to drink a bunch of gin
1634
01:30:31,482 --> 01:30:33,525
and then forced him onto the ledge.
1635
01:30:33,609 --> 01:30:35,277
It was only a matter of time before he fell.
1636
01:30:35,361 --> 01:30:38,780
At least we stopped you
from getting the pension fund.
1637
01:30:38,864 --> 01:30:42,117
Well, but, yeah, but you didn't.
It's already in my account.
1638
01:30:42,201 --> 01:30:44,786
By 9:00 in the morning,
it goes into the Lendl equity fund
1639
01:30:44,870 --> 01:30:47,622
and from there it's transferred
to a dozen offshore accounts.
1640
01:30:47,707 --> 01:30:49,207
By 9:01, it's gone.
1641
01:30:49,333 --> 01:30:52,294
- Well, what if we stop the transfer?
- But you can't. I mean, there's a...
1642
01:30:52,378 --> 01:30:54,879
What if we stop the transfer?
1643
01:30:54,964 --> 01:30:57,799
You'd have to be at Endemic Bank
for 9:00 exactly,
1644
01:30:57,883 --> 01:31:00,385
find the clerk,
get the routing number.
1645
01:31:00,469 --> 01:31:01,469
We gotta stop it.
1646
01:31:01,554 --> 01:31:02,804
There's no way.
1647
01:31:02,888 --> 01:31:06,474
Every cop, the crazy Australian and his crew,
they'll all be after us.
1648
01:31:06,559 --> 01:31:10,687
You could let me go,
and I'll give you $10 million each.
1649
01:31:11,314 --> 01:31:14,316
- It's not a bribe.
- Of course it's a bribe.
1650
01:31:14,400 --> 01:31:16,568
You're offering to pay us money
to not do our job.
1651
01:31:18,654 --> 01:31:19,904
It's not a bribe.
1652
01:31:20,531 --> 01:31:22,907
We hang low here tonight.
Nobody knows about this place.
1653
01:31:23,034 --> 01:31:24,743
We'll be safe. And tomorrow, we hit it.
1654
01:31:25,535 --> 01:31:27,077
First things first, I gotta go see Sheila.
1655
01:31:27,162 --> 01:31:28,537
No way, it's too dangerous.
1656
01:31:28,663 --> 01:31:30,914
Look, Terry, we don't know
what's gonna happen to us tomorrow,
1657
01:31:31,041 --> 01:31:34,585
but tonight,
I need to make things right with Sheila.
1658
01:31:35,086 --> 01:31:37,004
All right, go. Go. Be careful.
1659
01:31:37,422 --> 01:31:39,089
Thanks, I will.
1660
01:31:39,924 --> 01:31:41,175
Will you say hi to Sheila for me?
1661
01:31:41,343 --> 01:31:43,093
- Okay.
- Okay.
1662
01:31:43,178 --> 01:31:46,096
Tell her. Say Terry was asking about you.
1663
01:31:46,222 --> 01:31:47,681
He wants to make sure you know
1664
01:31:47,766 --> 01:31:50,100
that he'll be there for you
if anything happens.
1665
01:31:50,226 --> 01:31:52,269
- Yeah.
- Drop of a hat, I'm there.
1666
01:31:52,520 --> 01:31:54,521
Look, it's starting to get a little weird, man.
1667
01:31:54,606 --> 01:31:57,524
If something happens to you,
I need to be there to take care of her.
1668
01:31:57,609 --> 01:32:00,527
All of her wants, her needs,
and desires are now my responsibility.
1669
01:32:00,612 --> 01:32:02,780
Why do you say it
like it's a predetermined thing?
1670
01:32:02,947 --> 01:32:04,365
Just go, man.
1671
01:32:05,075 --> 01:32:06,575
Okay. Thanks.
1672
01:32:07,535 --> 01:32:08,619
Go.
1673
01:32:12,582 --> 01:32:13,749
Janeco Gallery.
1674
01:32:14,709 --> 01:32:16,794
Francine, it's Terry. Please don't hang up.
1675
01:32:27,472 --> 01:32:28,639
Please pick up.
1676
01:32:29,557 --> 01:32:30,724
Hello.
1677
01:32:30,809 --> 01:32:33,977
Hey, sweetie.I was praying you'd be at your mom's house.
1678
01:32:34,062 --> 01:32:37,314
You know what, I can't talk any more.
I think the phone's being tapped.
1679
01:32:37,565 --> 01:32:40,067
Baby, where are you? I wanna see you.
1680
01:32:40,151 --> 01:32:42,319
I'm near the place where we did it
three Halloweens ago.
1681
01:32:42,404 --> 01:32:43,445
Do you remember?
1682
01:32:44,406 --> 01:32:45,739
Okay, yeah, I got it.
1683
01:32:45,824 --> 01:32:49,493
I'm just warning you, though. Watch out.
I think they're watching the house.
1684
01:32:49,577 --> 01:32:52,162
Don't worry, sweetie.I think I have a way of talking to you.
1685
01:32:52,664 --> 01:32:56,625
I have to admit, I wasn't gonna come.
I mean...
1686
01:32:57,794 --> 01:33:01,255
After all those years,
after the restraining order.
1687
01:33:01,338 --> 01:33:04,674
I was worried I might not see you again.
1688
01:33:04,800 --> 01:33:06,426
There's some
very dangerous people after him,
1689
01:33:06,510 --> 01:33:07,510
and now they're after us.
1690
01:33:10,764 --> 01:33:12,348
It's just the old lady.
1691
01:33:17,688 --> 01:33:19,105
Hello, Allen.
1692
01:33:19,189 --> 01:33:21,774
Hello, Mama Ramos.
What are you doing out here?
1693
01:33:21,859 --> 01:33:26,195
Sheila said she doesn't know what happened
and she wants you back.
1694
01:33:26,280 --> 01:33:28,114
- She also says...
- Yes.
1695
01:33:28,198 --> 01:33:32,034
...she wants you on top of her,
holding her hair,
1696
01:33:32,161 --> 01:33:34,203
and riding her like a bucking bronco
1697
01:33:34,830 --> 01:33:38,458
while she sucks your thumb and says,
"Mommy likey."
1698
01:33:39,293 --> 01:33:40,710
You, you tell your daughter...
1699
01:33:41,295 --> 01:33:43,713
He said he'll always love you.
1700
01:33:43,797 --> 01:33:46,466
And he's so happy
that you're having his child.
1701
01:33:46,550 --> 01:33:47,717
Allen.
1702
01:33:47,801 --> 01:33:49,635
He also says that
1703
01:33:49,720 --> 01:33:53,765
he wants you to stare into each other's eyes
without blinking while you do it.
1704
01:33:54,391 --> 01:33:56,893
- I love when we do that, Mom.
- And then afterward,
1705
01:33:56,977 --> 01:33:58,978
lick the sex off each other.
1706
01:34:00,814 --> 01:34:02,732
I don't wanna do this.
1707
01:34:04,151 --> 01:34:07,528
- You say things that are too personal.
- Okay, but just one more thing.
1708
01:34:07,863 --> 01:34:09,781
She said she loves you,
1709
01:34:09,865 --> 01:34:12,992
and wants to hold your hand
and have iced tea with you.
1710
01:34:13,660 --> 01:34:16,162
Come on. That's not all she said.
1711
01:34:16,663 --> 01:34:17,830
No.
1712
01:34:18,916 --> 01:34:22,502
- She says other things, but I don't want...
- Please, please, please.
1713
01:34:22,586 --> 01:34:24,837
You don't realize, I may be killed tomorrow.
1714
01:34:25,339 --> 01:34:26,506
Okay.
1715
01:34:29,051 --> 01:34:33,930
She says she wants to unplug all the clocks
and the phones
1716
01:34:34,014 --> 01:34:37,225
- and have a three-day F marathon.
- That's more like it. Yeah.
1717
01:34:37,517 --> 01:34:42,646
She wants to walk wrong for a week
because you guys F'd so hard.
1718
01:34:42,730 --> 01:34:43,939
That's just lovely.
1719
01:34:44,357 --> 01:34:47,943
No more! He says things I can't say.
1720
01:34:48,027 --> 01:34:53,823
It involves a mannequin hand
and an electric shaver taped to a golf club.
1721
01:35:02,375 --> 01:35:03,542
Now what'd she say?
1722
01:35:05,962 --> 01:35:07,712
She says she loves you.
1723
01:35:13,970 --> 01:35:16,304
I'm so sorry about everything.
1724
01:35:17,181 --> 01:35:21,643
And I just had to come here tonight
to tell you that I love you.
1725
01:35:21,727 --> 01:35:25,564
And the reason why I act like
you're a plain wife is that
1726
01:35:27,233 --> 01:35:31,319
I'm afraid that if I admit to how stunning
1727
01:35:31,404 --> 01:35:34,197
and intelligent and wonderful you are,
1728
01:35:35,074 --> 01:35:38,910
- I'd just lose you.
- Shut up, Allen. I love you.
1729
01:35:39,412 --> 01:35:42,205
We have a place that's safe. All right.
1730
01:35:54,760 --> 01:35:56,011
I'm gonna break your hip.
1731
01:36:04,770 --> 01:36:07,063
I'm about to do you grandpa-style.
1732
01:36:22,454 --> 01:36:24,121
I brought some music.
1733
01:36:28,627 --> 01:36:30,628
Not what I would've chosen, but screw it.
1734
01:36:30,712 --> 01:36:33,964
All right. Let's go, Monday morning,
time to go to work.
1735
01:36:34,049 --> 01:36:35,132
Let's do it.
1736
01:36:35,258 --> 01:36:36,967
- You want my gate code?
- Shut up, man!
1737
01:36:44,559 --> 01:36:45,643
That's Wesley!
1738
01:36:56,655 --> 01:36:57,780
Yes!
1739
01:37:00,158 --> 01:37:02,743
- Where'd you learn to drive like that?
- Grand Theft Auto!
1740
01:37:05,664 --> 01:37:06,914
Shit, Allen, they're coming.
1741
01:37:09,793 --> 01:37:12,336
- Oh, my God!
- Shit.
1742
01:37:13,630 --> 01:37:15,339
- Do something, Allen!
- Hold on, hold on.
1743
01:37:36,820 --> 01:37:38,696
Someone's been playing Grand Theft Auto.
1744
01:37:40,365 --> 01:37:41,699
I did that!
1745
01:37:41,825 --> 01:37:43,450
- I did that!
- Oh, my God!
1746
01:37:43,535 --> 01:37:45,869
- That's what I'm talking about!
- We jackknifed them!
1747
01:37:45,954 --> 01:37:48,455
Did you see that? It went backwards
and then turned upside-down.
1748
01:37:48,540 --> 01:37:52,126
Gator turns vans upside-down like
they're in a crazy washing machine!
1749
01:37:52,209 --> 01:37:54,252
Why are you calling yourself Gator?
1750
01:37:54,670 --> 01:37:57,463
It's a nickname I had in college.
I used to run a dating service.
1751
01:37:57,548 --> 01:38:00,758
- He was a pimp.
- Yeah, I was. I was a pimp.
1752
01:38:00,884 --> 01:38:03,386
Is it me or does it smell
like deer vagina in here?
1753
01:38:04,388 --> 01:38:05,555
My poor car.
1754
01:38:05,889 --> 01:38:08,349
Right now the streets are a bloodbath.
1755
01:38:08,434 --> 01:38:11,561
And, statistically speaking,
there's about 30 kids in here,
1756
01:38:11,645 --> 01:38:13,646
10 of you are gonna be dead
before your next birthday.
1757
01:38:13,939 --> 01:38:17,024
Got a couple of tips,
help you guys stay out of jail.
1758
01:38:17,109 --> 01:38:21,362
One, try your hardest
to not be black or Hispanic.
1759
01:38:21,447 --> 01:38:23,698
- It's a good tip.
- Yeah. Two...
1760
01:38:23,782 --> 01:38:25,074
Gentlemen, we got a hot one.
1761
01:38:25,159 --> 01:38:28,786
Hoitz and Gamble have Ershon hostage,high-speed car chase in progress.
1762
01:38:28,871 --> 01:38:30,705
Yes! Gun, gun!
1763
01:38:30,998 --> 01:38:32,832
Pass up the guns. Pass them up.
Let's go, people.
1764
01:38:32,916 --> 01:38:34,542
There we go. Anything, any Tasers? No?
1765
01:38:34,626 --> 01:38:36,043
Good. Who wants to go on a ride-along?
1766
01:38:36,128 --> 01:38:37,587
I do!
1767
01:38:38,088 --> 01:38:39,464
All right, you, sweetie.
Come on, let's go. Move.
1768
01:38:39,548 --> 01:38:41,090
- Move! Let's go.
- Come on!
1769
01:38:50,809 --> 01:38:54,228
Cool, a helicopter!
Must be covering the high-speed chase.
1770
01:38:59,485 --> 01:39:00,860
Jesus!
1771
01:39:05,699 --> 01:39:08,493
- Who are those guys?
- They're Chechen investors.
1772
01:39:08,577 --> 01:39:11,621
We were gonna do a Chechen version
of Dora the Explorer.
1773
01:39:11,705 --> 01:39:13,289
Anyway, it went terribly wrong.
1774
01:39:16,460 --> 01:39:18,669
I feel like it's not fair
that they have a helicopter!
1775
01:39:19,671 --> 01:39:20,755
Oh, no.
1776
01:39:22,132 --> 01:39:23,216
Damn it.
1777
01:39:27,094 --> 01:39:29,554
Watch your head. God, your hair is soft.
1778
01:39:29,639 --> 01:39:31,097
VO5 Hot Oil.
1779
01:39:34,435 --> 01:39:36,728
You're gonna wreck!
There's cars coming from both directions!
1780
01:39:36,813 --> 01:39:37,938
I'm not gonna wreck!
1781
01:39:39,899 --> 01:39:41,650
- I'm gonna wreck! You're right!
- You want me to drive?
1782
01:40:01,671 --> 01:40:04,339
- This was a very clever idea.
- Yeah.
1783
01:40:16,435 --> 01:40:17,727
They're gone.
1784
01:40:19,146 --> 01:40:20,230
Let's go.
1785
01:40:32,535 --> 01:40:35,996
They are Nigerians.
Yeah, I'd forgotten about them.
1786
01:40:43,838 --> 01:40:45,088
- This is a shortcut.
- Are you kidding me?
1787
01:40:45,172 --> 01:40:46,381
You cannot go down there.
1788
01:40:54,307 --> 01:40:55,807
What are you doing?
1789
01:41:02,023 --> 01:41:03,106
Hit him!
1790
01:41:10,822 --> 01:41:12,197
- Where are we?
- Chelsea Pier.
1791
01:41:18,663 --> 01:41:19,747
What the hell?
1792
01:41:21,082 --> 01:41:22,166
Jesus!
1793
01:41:29,549 --> 01:41:31,383
Them having a helicopter
is definitely cheating.
1794
01:41:32,135 --> 01:41:33,218
Go!
1795
01:41:38,350 --> 01:41:39,433
Come on!
1796
01:41:41,311 --> 01:41:42,895
We're cops! Hit the chopper!
1797
01:42:05,794 --> 01:42:08,671
This is Martin and Fosse, en route.
Back off! This is our collar!
1798
01:42:10,507 --> 01:42:13,175
Set up a perimeter.
No arrests until we get there!
1799
01:42:13,468 --> 01:42:14,551
Take the light!
1800
01:42:34,739 --> 01:42:36,281
Do not authorize that transfer.
1801
01:42:36,366 --> 01:42:37,950
This is David Ershon. The transfer is for him.
1802
01:42:38,034 --> 01:42:40,452
He will tell you not to authorize it, okay?
Tell him.
1803
01:42:40,536 --> 01:42:43,162
- Tell him!
- Yeah, do as they say. Stop the transfer.
1804
01:42:43,247 --> 01:42:44,330
Approve it.
1805
01:42:45,791 --> 01:42:46,874
Now.
1806
01:42:46,959 --> 01:42:48,543
Do not touch anything!
1807
01:42:48,961 --> 01:42:51,212
I swear to God
I'll blow your head all over this desk.
1808
01:42:51,296 --> 01:42:53,715
Not a person in this room believes
you'll shoot this clerk.
1809
01:42:53,799 --> 01:42:54,882
Yeah?
1810
01:42:56,260 --> 01:42:59,762
Thank you so much, gentlemen,
for the prompt delivery of Mr. Ershon.
1811
01:42:59,847 --> 01:43:03,266
I have two competing bids
from jilted investors.
1812
01:43:03,976 --> 01:43:06,185
They're at 30 million, and holding.
1813
01:43:06,895 --> 01:43:08,855
- Wait! Can't you let me...
- Take him away.
1814
01:43:09,440 --> 01:43:10,982
But computers.
1815
01:43:12,067 --> 01:43:16,529
What if, one day, they were in charge?
1816
01:43:18,115 --> 01:43:22,201
Now if you don't shut up,
I will cut your ear off with a butter knife.
1817
01:43:22,286 --> 01:43:24,370
That's blunt. Blunt's worse than if it's sharp.
1818
01:43:24,455 --> 01:43:25,705
Now!
1819
01:43:32,755 --> 01:43:33,921
You just stood there!
1820
01:43:34,006 --> 01:43:36,799
I didn't know that "now" meant that.
How am I supposed to know that?
1821
01:43:36,884 --> 01:43:38,760
- I knew what that meant.
- Shut up.
1822
01:43:38,844 --> 01:43:41,888
You kill us and you kill Ershon.
You're out 30 million dollars.
1823
01:43:41,972 --> 01:43:44,057
- Who's got the golden goose now, huh?
- Yeah.
1824
01:43:48,103 --> 01:43:49,687
Shit!
1825
01:43:50,397 --> 01:43:52,565
He's still valuable with a bullet wound, mate.
1826
01:43:52,649 --> 01:43:54,525
He immediately called your bluff.
1827
01:43:54,610 --> 01:43:56,444
Get up. And kill the police.
1828
01:43:56,528 --> 01:43:57,987
I just wanna make sure I get it right.
1829
01:43:58,072 --> 01:44:01,491
Did you want this transfer approved
or not approved?
1830
01:44:01,950 --> 01:44:04,327
You, mate, I'm gonna kill just for fun.
1831
01:44:05,871 --> 01:44:08,664
Police, don't move! Drop your weapons!
1832
01:44:08,749 --> 01:44:11,667
Drop it, or be dropped, homeboy!
1833
01:44:11,752 --> 01:44:14,712
I hope you like the taste
of prison food and penis.
1834
01:44:14,797 --> 01:44:17,590
- Police! Down on the ground!
- Let me see your hands!
1835
01:44:25,431 --> 01:44:27,724
- Hey, hey, you okay?
- Hey.
1836
01:44:28,601 --> 01:44:30,977
Hey, Gene. Captain. I'm sorry.
1837
01:44:31,270 --> 01:44:32,979
- I'm sorry.
- That's okay. Don't worry about it.
1838
01:44:33,064 --> 01:44:34,564
You can call me Gene
when we're not in the office.
1839
01:44:34,941 --> 01:44:37,192
Okay. Thanks for coming by.
1840
01:44:37,276 --> 01:44:39,361
Attaboy.
1841
01:44:39,445 --> 01:44:41,488
Come on, stay with me. Stay with me.
1842
01:44:41,739 --> 01:44:44,616
We're losing him! We're losing him!
He's dying!
1843
01:44:45,076 --> 01:44:48,411
No. No, no, no, no. I'm just resting.
I'm just resting.
1844
01:44:48,496 --> 01:44:50,664
- I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?
- I was just resting.
1845
01:44:50,748 --> 01:44:52,290
- Are you all right?
- Just resting.
1846
01:44:52,375 --> 01:44:53,792
Hey, let me tell you something.
1847
01:44:53,876 --> 01:44:56,711
As far as paperwork goes,
we'll take care of it.
1848
01:44:57,046 --> 01:44:58,630
- You know why?
- Why?
1849
01:44:58,714 --> 01:45:00,215
Ain't too proud to beg.
1850
01:45:00,842 --> 01:45:02,050
Come on.
1851
01:45:02,135 --> 01:45:03,969
- What?
- It's not funny anymore.
1852
01:45:04,053 --> 01:45:06,596
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- TLC references.
1853
01:45:06,681 --> 01:45:08,682
Still nothing. I swear to you.
1854
01:45:09,016 --> 01:45:14,354
I'm gonna go over and check on Terry.
I got a bad knee. Hold on. There you go.
1855
01:45:14,438 --> 01:45:17,232
It was the king of the mutt cases,
1856
01:45:17,316 --> 01:45:20,443
but Allen and Terry had worked it like stars.
1857
01:45:23,322 --> 01:45:26,449
Within 24 hours of learningabout Ershon's scheme
1858
01:45:26,534 --> 01:45:28,577
and Lendl's massive losses,
1859
01:45:28,661 --> 01:45:31,371
the government issued TARP fundsto bail out Lendl.
1860
01:45:31,455 --> 01:45:36,001
Lendl is in everything,
and we're gonna go everywhere...
1861
01:45:36,085 --> 01:45:37,878
They were too big to fail.
1862
01:45:37,962 --> 01:45:43,175
Ershon now resides in PalominoFederal Correctional Facility in Florida.
1863
01:45:43,259 --> 01:45:46,344
He still invests. Currency's just different.
1864
01:45:47,388 --> 01:45:49,806
Roger Wesley was linkedto the Beaman murder
1865
01:45:49,891 --> 01:45:53,685
by security cam footagewhich Martin and Fosse hadn't checked.
1866
01:45:53,768 --> 01:45:55,603
It only showed the back of their heads.
1867
01:45:55,687 --> 01:45:59,815
But Allen's Faceback appwas able to get a match to their faces.
1868
01:46:00,275 --> 01:46:02,151
Terry married Francine.
1869
01:46:02,235 --> 01:46:05,196
He played harp at the receptionand it was beautiful.
1870
01:46:05,280 --> 01:46:06,822
He had learned how to play itin the eighth grade
1871
01:46:06,907 --> 01:46:10,242
to make fun of the fairythat lived up the street.
1872
01:46:10,660 --> 01:46:13,913
Terry asked Sheila to be his best man,but she declined.
1873
01:46:14,205 --> 01:46:18,417
Let's be honest,we all wanna be superstars and hotshots.
1874
01:46:18,501 --> 01:46:19,710
But guess what?
1875
01:46:19,794 --> 01:46:23,297
The people that do the real work,the ones that make the difference,
1876
01:46:23,548 --> 01:46:26,550
you don't see them on TVor on the front page.
1877
01:46:27,218 --> 01:46:30,679
I'm talking about the day-in,day-outers, the grinders.
1878
01:46:30,805 --> 01:46:33,933
Come on, man, you know whoI'm talking about: The other guys.
1879
01:46:34,017 --> 01:46:35,184
- See? That's a no-go.
- Hey, hey.
1880
01:46:35,936 --> 01:46:37,937
You think you broke this Ershon case open?
1881
01:46:38,355 --> 01:46:39,563
You did nothing.
1882
01:46:39,981 --> 01:46:41,565
Corporate lobbyists are spending millions
1883
01:46:41,650 --> 01:46:43,901
to make sure guys like Ershon
keep doing what they do.
1884
01:46:44,778 --> 01:46:45,778
Derek Jeter?
1885
01:46:47,197 --> 01:46:50,282
Yeah, it's me. You were set up
that night you shot me, Terry.
1886
01:46:50,575 --> 01:46:53,369
- I told you!
- They knew by putting someone like you
1887
01:46:53,453 --> 01:46:56,413
with a quick trigger finger next to that door
where I do my pre-game walk,
1888
01:46:56,581 --> 01:46:58,958
it'd end up bad. Bad for both of us.
1889
01:46:59,501 --> 01:47:01,585
Now, I've been doing my own investigation
on the banking industry,
1890
01:47:01,753 --> 01:47:03,796
and I was close. I was real close.
1891
01:47:04,214 --> 01:47:05,381
So I forgive you, Terry.
1892
01:47:05,924 --> 01:47:08,050
I appreciate that, man. I'm sorry about
what happened.
1893
01:47:08,802 --> 01:47:09,802
I'm glad you're doing better.
1894
01:47:10,261 --> 01:47:12,596
The whole damn system is clogged up
with dirty money.
1895
01:47:13,181 --> 01:47:16,433
And the news doesn't say a word about it.
'Cause who owns them?
1896
01:47:16,601 --> 01:47:19,019
The same corporations
that own the government.
1897
01:47:19,604 --> 01:47:21,313
Courts and the law is all we have left.
1898
01:47:22,649 --> 01:47:24,108
So here's you guys' next case.
1899
01:47:25,235 --> 01:47:28,112
Guy by the name of Carl Bachand,
CEO of Killister Bank.
1900
01:47:28,779 --> 01:47:32,615
He took three billion in TARP funds.
He's crooked. He's real crooked.
1901
01:47:33,117 --> 01:47:37,745
Take him down, but be careful.
He's got Blackwater mercenaries 24/7.
1902
01:47:38,789 --> 01:47:39,956
Thanks, Derek.
1903
01:47:41,250 --> 01:47:43,376
Hey, Derek! Wait!
What if we need to get in touch with you,
1904
01:47:43,460 --> 01:47:45,795
get some more information
or some tickets or something?
1905
01:47:46,547 --> 01:47:47,714
What just happened?
1906
01:47:50,592 --> 01:47:53,678
Goldman Sachs.
This case is gonna be nasty.
1907
01:47:56,348 --> 01:47:58,057
Hi. Cute glasses.
1908
01:47:59,059 --> 01:48:01,019
- What was that?
- What?
1909
01:48:01,103 --> 01:48:04,731
What? Dude, what is it with you
and hot ladies? What's your secret?
1910
01:48:04,815 --> 01:48:07,483
Honestly, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
1911
01:48:07,568 --> 01:48:09,610
Tell me who you lost your virginity to.
1912
01:48:09,695 --> 01:48:12,739
She actually became a TV actress.
Heather Locklear.
1913
01:48:12,823 --> 01:48:14,490
Heather Locklear, what?
1914
01:48:14,575 --> 01:48:16,200
- You've heard of her?
- Come on!
1915
01:48:16,285 --> 01:48:20,413
- She was much chubbier back then.
- I don't get it. I really, I don't get it.
1916
01:53:21,006 --> 01:53:22,673
That was you.
You don't have a sense of humor.
1917
01:53:22,799 --> 01:53:24,258
I do... I have a wonderful sense of humor.
1918
01:53:24,760 --> 01:53:26,302
If you say something funny, I'll laugh.
1919
01:53:26,386 --> 01:53:29,096
- All right, I'm gonna tell you a great joke.
- Please. I love jokes.
1920
01:53:29,222 --> 01:53:31,807
All right. Little boy on his 13th birthday.
1921
01:53:33,185 --> 01:53:36,312
- It's time to get laid.
- Already feels inappropriate.
1922
01:53:36,646 --> 01:53:38,397
So he goes to the lady at the whorehouse,
he goes, "Miss,
1923
01:53:38,774 --> 01:53:41,942
"look, I know usually you want money, but
I don't have any money and it's my birthday.
1924
01:53:42,277 --> 01:53:44,028
"Do you think I could have sex with you
for this duck?"
1925
01:53:44,571 --> 01:53:46,781
- Was he a farmer?
- No.
1926
01:53:46,990 --> 01:53:51,285
That's probably a Health Code violation,
bringing a duck into a place of prostitution.
1927
01:53:51,703 --> 01:53:53,287
They weren't gonna have sex with the duck!
1928
01:53:53,538 --> 01:53:55,289
No, I just mean Health Code violation
1929
01:53:55,374 --> 01:53:59,001
to have the duck brought into
a facility like that.
1930
01:54:00,504 --> 01:54:02,671
So, anyway, she says, "Yes, I'll do it."
1931
01:54:03,173 --> 01:54:05,633
So he goes in there, gives it to her.
1932
01:54:06,176 --> 01:54:09,345
- He gives her what?
- The high, hard one! She loves it.
1933
01:54:09,638 --> 01:54:12,640
She goes, "You know what? If you do that
again, I'll give you your duck back."
1934
01:54:12,974 --> 01:54:14,892
- It's like getting laid twice for free.
- So... I'm sorry.
1935
01:54:14,976 --> 01:54:16,102
I'm so sorry.
1936
01:54:16,395 --> 01:54:20,356
- The duck is payment for sexual intercourse.
- Yes. Yes.
1937
01:54:20,524 --> 01:54:21,649
- Very good.
- He used the duck as payment,
1938
01:54:21,733 --> 01:54:23,359
and now he's being paid back the duck.
1939
01:54:23,777 --> 01:54:26,862
He goes, "Oh, my God, this is
the greatest birthday ever." He does it again.
1940
01:54:27,197 --> 01:54:30,741
- Now he's walking home, right? Walking...
- So she was satisfied with duck.
1941
01:54:31,034 --> 01:54:33,035
- With a duck as currency...
- Yes.
1942
01:54:33,120 --> 01:54:35,579
...to her. Great. Good.
1943
01:54:35,914 --> 01:54:39,667
So he's walking home, now he can't wait
to get home to tell his father. Right?
1944
01:54:40,043 --> 01:54:42,169
He's walking down the street with the duck,
and all of a sudden, voom,
1945
01:54:42,254 --> 01:54:43,671
truck comes by and runs over his duck.
1946
01:54:43,755 --> 01:54:45,131
- Kills the duck?
- Killed the duck.
1947
01:54:45,215 --> 01:54:47,383
- So the duck is now dead.
- The duck is dead.
1948
01:54:47,884 --> 01:54:51,178
The kid starts crying, truck driver stops,
he's all upset, he didn't mean...
1949
01:54:51,346 --> 01:54:54,473
Of course he's crying! He's a 13-year-old boy
who's just had sex, twice,
1950
01:54:54,641 --> 01:54:58,102
- and he watched his beloved duck die.
- Will you shut up and let me tell the story?
1951
01:54:58,270 --> 01:55:00,187
So far, I don't know
how this is ever gonna be funny.
1952
01:55:00,480 --> 01:55:02,940
The guy feels so bad about killing the duck,
he gives him two dollars.
1953
01:55:03,316 --> 01:55:04,650
And the kid's happy with the two bucks?
1954
01:55:05,152 --> 01:55:08,612
He's ecstatic! He got laid twice,
and now he's got two dollars on top of it.
1955
01:55:08,697 --> 01:55:11,157
Seems like a duck would be worth
a lot more than two dollars.
1956
01:55:12,325 --> 01:55:13,868
This was a while back. You what I'm...
1957
01:55:14,244 --> 01:55:16,745
So he goes home, his dad goes,
"What happened? What happened?
1958
01:55:16,830 --> 01:55:20,291
"Tell me! Tell me!" He goes,
"Dad, I got a fuck for the duck,
1959
01:55:20,417 --> 01:55:21,957
"I got a duck for the fuck,
1960
01:55:22,042 --> 01:55:23,787
"and I got two bucks for a fucked-up duck!"
1961
01:55:26,882 --> 01:55:28,087
So it's like a limerick.
1962
01:55:29,297 --> 01:55:30,552
You didn't think that was funny?
1963
01:55:31,012 --> 01:55:32,887
I thought it was entertaining
at the end, sure,
1964
01:55:33,597 --> 01:55:35,347
the way all the words were put together,
1965
01:55:35,432 --> 01:55:36,977
but in terms of content?
1966
01:55:38,602 --> 01:55:39,727
No.
1967
01:55:42,937 --> 01:55:46,567
Get the check-check from Shen-Shen.
Let's get out of here.
1968
01:55:51,782 --> 01:55:55,947
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
1969
01:55:56,452 --> 01:55:57,457
And cut.
164376
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