All language subtitles for (1996) Enskilda samtal

PRIVATE CONFESSIONS

First converstaion

One Sunday afternoon
in the end of July 1925.

Come and sit for a while.
What's the rush?

I was going to...

It can't be that urgent. Have a sit and
we'll chat for a while.

How are the children?

They're with their granny in
DalecarIia. I just came from there.

- And Henrik?
- He's in the island. He's fine there.

Alone?

-Yes, but I'm going tomorrow.

- What about you, uncle Jacob?
- I came for a funeraI.

I promised to officiate the function.
My vacations will be over in a week.

Maria and I had a blessed summer,
to use devout words.

I came yesterday from DaIecarlia
and went straight to the hairdresser.

It's a secret passion I indulge in
every now and then.

Yesterday I had diner
with the HasseIroths,

some old friends. My friends.

Henrik didn't want to leave the
countryside, though he'd been invited.

Obviously, since they are my friends.

Forgive me, Uncle Jacob.

It's just that there are
so many things.

Forgive me, I don't cry
very often, but...

It's just that there are
so many things.

If there's something
disturbing you...

No, no. I should head
back home.

Henrik will call at four for sure.

If I don't answer right away,
he gets worried.

Would you like to join me
for coffee and a snack?

That sounds very good.
Much better than eating alone.

Will you be free,
uncle Jacob?

The mass is at 5.30.
Other than that...

And afterwards?

The whole afternoon,
all the time you need.

Maybe this is stupid,
I don't know.

Anna, I performed your confirmation
and I'm your spiritual guide.

You can tell me all that you want.
Or that you must tell me.

I'm an unfaithful wife.

I'm cheating on Henrik.

I'm seeing another man.

I feel a terrible angst.

It's not a matter of bad conscience
or anything like that. That'd be silly.

Just angst.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Another man.

He's much younger.

He's studying theology.

I should break up with him.
For his own good as well.

But I can't.

I love him.

More than one year.

For more than one year.

You know him, uncle Jacob.

It's Tomas.

Everything was so innocent
and yet so harmful.

I told Tomas to come visit us
at DaIecarnia in the summer.

You know, in Vároms,
my parent's summer house.

I invited him to come in
the middle of the summer.

Henrik and my friend Gertrud
were also supposed to be there.

But Henrik couldn't go,

he had to attend a conference.

I thought of canceling everything but

Henrik said that Tomas
should come nevertheless.

We even joked about Gertrud
and Tomas as a possible match.

She would be a good wife
for a priest.

In the end, Tomas came.

During the afternoons

we played the piano and sang.

Gertrud has a beautiful voice
and Tomas

knows a lot about music.

The three of us were
always together.

Tomas, Gertrud and me.

Sometimes, I'd leave Tomas
and Gertrud alone.

I didn't mind that
they were together.

In fact, I wanted them
to be together.

Me, with everything
I'd been through.

I thought I could fly.

One of Tomas' last days in Vároms

I came down from my bedroom
to set the table.

Suddenly he told me

"I love you"...

that he was fond of me.

That he'd been fond of me...

Well, he said he had been loving me

for the last two years.

That he didn't know what would
become of him

if he had to leave me.

If you want to take communion,
do it, Anna.

If you live in grief,
if you are in trouble,

if you don't know what to do,
it could be of help to take comunion

and trust your sorrows
to the heart of God.

I know nothing about
the heart of God, uncle Jacob.

You don't have to.

There's grace in the act itself.

And perhaps it can assuage
your suffering.

I don't think it can.

As you wish.

Well, we'll meet at eight.

Enough.

Will you call Tomas?

Just to know about his mood.

Not to tell him about confessions

or to pressure him so that he'll
feel the obligation to console me.

I know that I won't find him.

I'm sure he's gone
to the botanic garden,

and he must be strolling through
the water lily ponds,

with the fragrance of
Chinese roses.

Or he'll be under the elms' shadow

reading a book for his exams.

May Our Lord Jesus Christ,
whose body and blood

we received, grant you both
eternal life. Amen.

You may go in peace.

The body of Christ,
which will be delivered...

Many people believe that
Luther abolished confession.

But it is not so.

On the contrary, he prescribed
what he called "private confession".

But he didn't understand much
about human beings,

that magnificent reformer.

Face to face, under the day's light,
it becomes difficult.

It is better in the magical
semi-obscurity of the confessionary.

The murmurs,
the smell of incense.

I certainly wanted to take communion,
but I repressed myself.

Shouldn't we sit
in a more comfortable place?

Let us go the library.

That way you could sit in Henrik's
chair and smoke a cigar.

- Henrik rarely smokes cigars.
- Really?

Daddy was a great cigar smoker.

Yes, Johan loved cigars.

Good cigars and good
locomotives were his passion.

I used to love sitting on his lap
while he smoked.

There you go.

Thank you. Actually, I'm not
such a big cigar smoker.

- But this one is good.
- Thank you, sweetheart.

Very good.

This is how it happened,
in case you're wondering.

Tomas and me were alone
at his place.

It was a freezing January day,
night was already falling.

I told him that I had
to return to Stockhom,

and that it would take some time
before we could meet again.

I had already dressed my coat
and I was ready to go.

And at that moment
I made my decision.

He stood there,
noding his head and saying:

"No, no".

"Not this".

But...

I no longer had a choice.

I took his hands
and drew him closer to me.

And he fell down
on his knees.

I had his head between my hands

and his face against my breast.

I thought about remorse.

But I don't feel none.

And I thought about sin,
but that's only a word.

I raised a wall of prohibitions
between him and me.

But on the first chance I'd get
to see him, I'd tear it down.

I think I could...

Yes, I know I could...

No.

This is certainly not right.

And then there's the children.

I'm kinder with them now,

more patient.

And also kinder with Henrik.

I can be tender and
caring with him

and he is happier
and less iiritable.

Everything has been better since
I allowed myself to love Tomas.

I just want to ask you something.

If everything is as wonderful
as you say,

why are you crying?

You caught me, Uncle Jacob.

I spent the afternoon
with Tomas in a hotel.

I hadn't seen him for more than one
month. Six weeks, I think.

And while we were talking
in such a lovely way,

I felt...

I think I can guess
what you felt.

I'm sure you can't.

To be honest, I felt scared.

And you started crying.

I heard myself
telling you everything

and then tears began to fall.

And I couldn't...

It could be anything,
couldn't it?

There's always something
to cry about.

I was looking at your
enormous hand, uncle Jacob

and I thought that...

If God had a hand,

which I don't think is the case,

but if God had a hand,
it would be like yours.

Then I thought about that psalm:

"Lord, in this last hour I beg You

take my hand in Your hand.

Guide me".

From what you have told me,
I can see that

you wanted to communicate with me.

Though you thought you couldn't.
- Isn't it always like this?

An enormous bliss...

A bliss so enormous
that it becomes fathomless,

while at the same time carrying
a world of darkness,

all sorts of torment and terror.

I guess that I was to experience

the grief that hides behind joy.

If it wasn't God who gave me Tomas

then I'm very distant from God.
And that is good.

I know that you will think
that I'm being deeply blasfemous.

It's not for you to
decide what I think.

I remeber the confirmation classes.

I remember you were the sharpest.

During the discussions,
you made pertinent questions.

And you were friendly
with your colleagues.

I knew you were coming
from a place of love.

I asked myself what kind of life

was expecting you.

Why did you tell me all this?

If I dare to think about it,

if I dare to think about it
even for the shortest while,

I realize that we live under threat.

I'm more and more helpless.

The children, Henrik, Tomas and I,

we are drawing
closer to a catastrophe.

A life catastrophe, isn't it?

A life catastrophe.

Is there any way out?

And another question,
the one that scares me the most:

do I really want a way out?

Then I think about the children.

And it hurts me so much
that I throw those thouhgts away.

They are almost unbearable.

How could I leave the children? No.

This is how things go, uncle Jacob.

I haven't told this to anyone.

I don't know what I was expecting.

Maybe you could give me
a good advice,

a solution.
Or forgiveness for my sins.

Or at least a temporary relief.

If you're expecting an answer,
I have none.

If you want my compassion,
I tell you I find it hard to express it.

Poor Anna.

If you want my absolution,

I won't give it to you, for I don't
think you repent it at all.

But

if even then you still want my advice,

I'll tell you a few things,
whenever you take me seriously.

I understand.

Everything that I may say to you
will contradict you.

Maybe I will be grateful for it.

I doubt it.

First of all,

you must drastically cut
any relationship whatsoever

with your friend.

Even though it may provide you
with great emotional satisfaction,

you must put an end
to that relationship.

Tomas is commiting a great offense.
It may affect him for his entire life.

If his indiscretion should come
to light, his future as a priest

would be in danger,
not to say impossible.

You say tht you love him,
and I believe you.

Being loved by
someone like you

is a precious gift. So I'm not saying
that you should stop loving him.

What I'm saying

is that you should sever
any connection with him,

completely, absolutely.

This way you'll be
demonstrating your love.

You must also tell everything

to your husband.

- I can't do it.
- You must.

- Anything but that.
- You must do it.

I can't. What would be the point?

It's the truth. You are
entangled in a web of lies.

The longer you live in it,
the more miserable your life will be.

I know that Henrik
wouldn't handle the truth.

It's better if I just disappear.

Henrik can hardly deal
with everyday life.

He's weak and he carries a lot of
angst. He's overloaded with work.

The truth would destroy him.

Our marriage doesn't work,
neither spiritually nor phisically.

But there is some comradeship
that keeps us together.

It has served us for 12 years.
The comraderie and the children.

If I tell the truth now,
it will be hell for us.

No, uncle Jacob, no.

You must tell the truth, Anna.

Can't you see that hiding
the truth is very selfish of you?

And it is possible that with
the truth, Henrik

Henrik will evolve
and improve his life.

That he'll improve his life?
I'm sorry, uncle Jacob,

but Henrik is not that
kind of person.

He runs away from things
everytime he can.

If he loses control for a moment,
he gets furious or ill.

He would sink.

That is the truth.

Maybe

you and your family must
go through a difficult ordeal.

But if you choose the truth,
you'll be making yourself stronger.

Yes, of course. The path of
truth will make you stronger.

If you choose truth,
you will solve

the unsolvable problems.

I must go, Anna.

I understand your distancing.

And I don't ask you
to think the same way I do.

I just told you my opinion.

Don't get angry, uncle Jacob.

Turn on the light so that
I can see your face.

Look me in the eyes.

Yes, you are angry.

No.

You are angry and disappointed.
But what were you expecting?

I don't know.

I just wanted...

Anna, we all play many role parts.

Some for fun.

Others because it's what
other people want.

Most of them because we
want to protect ourselves.

And slowly we lose
the one which is not a role part.

As I keep on acting, I get more and
more distant from myself.

So I can say that now,

at this precise moment,

I am finally myself.

Living with Henrik
I was more and more entangled

in what you have called
role parts.

When I'm with Tomas

I know I can be a real person.

It's not like that, Anna.
It's not like that.

I remember what you told me
before your confirmation.

I pray to God that I can
become useful, you said.

- You were tremendously strong.
- Yes, I know.

It was childish. I was a child.

- God listened to your prayer.
- No.

We always receive what
we ask from God,

but not always in the way
that we expect it.

Do you think that God is
not worried about your hardships?

No.

Did you stop believing?

Do you believe in God,
uncle Jacob?

A Father in the sky?
A God of love?

A God with hands

and with a heart
and vigilant eyes?

Don't say that word, "God".
Say "the Holiest".

In every person there is
the holiness of Man.

Everything else is attributes,

masks, manifestations, mistakes.

One cannot calculate or capture

the holiness of Man.

At the same time it is something
to hold on to...

something very concrete,
until death.

What happens afterwards
is a mystery.

Only poets,
musicians and saints

have given us mirrors
in which we can have a glimpse

of the unfathomable.

They have seen,

known, understood.

Not totally,
but through fragments.

I find it recomforting to think
of Man's holiness

and the mysterious immensities
that surround us.

Listen, Anna.

What I'm telling you is not
a mere metaphor, it's reality.

Inscribed in the holiness
of Man is the truth.

Nothing can go against

truth without an error,
without causing harm.

No, uncle Jacob.

I'll never be able to say
what they call the truth.

Never. I'm sure of that.

Second conversation.

One afternoon in the middle
of August.

Some weeks after the
first converstaion.

The sun was shining
over the city.

Shall I help you with the bag?
We'll carry it together.

I'll go to the pier for a swim.

I'll go with you.
This way you won't drown.

It's so hot!

It's very hot!

It's fantastic!

A cup of tea would be nice.

Henrik. Let's have a
cup of tea, yes?

It's been five long weeks.

I missed you.

I missed the children too,

but mostly you.

I'm not complaining.

It would be petty to complain
when things are going so well.

And I didn't feel lonely,
so I can't complain.

You

wrote me some very tender letters,
which I used to read in the afternoon.

And finally you're here.

With me.

And the best thing is that
we'll be alone for a few days,

before the kids come.

I don't want to do it tonight.

No, Henrik. No.

What's wrong?

Nothing. I just want you to let me
be quiet for some time.

Haven't you been
too much already?

I need some time to get used to it.

Don't come making demands.

Strong word.
I don't demand anything from you.

I just don't want it!

Did I do something wrong, Anna?

No.

Forgive me for being so stupid.

Answer me, please,
Anna. I beg you.

You can't treat me like this!

Are you listening to me?

There, now we can
see our faces.

Forgive me, Anna...

I was behaving like a child.
It's just that I was afraid.

Henrik, you must listen to me.

I'm going to tell you something
that will hurt you a lot.

Now I'm worried.

Truth is...

I've been living with another
man for some time now.

Don't continue.

And I love him.

You love him.

I love him more than anyone else.

I live in a complete way
with him.

With my senses,
with my heart.

- The truth, Anna?
- This is the truth, Henrik.

I spent the day with Tomas.
I just came from being with him.

- Tomas?
- I don't want to go on like this.

- I can't.
-Tomas?

You know him.

Tomas Egerman?

Yes, Tomas Egerman.

But he's studying...

He's studying
theology in UpsaIa.

He'll graduate in two or
two and a half years.

I'm sorry, Henrik.

I'm sorry.

I have nothing else to say.

But when I think of how things
will be in the future

I get angry.
I don't know why but...

it's like this.
- I'm trying to remain calm.

I don't want to hurt you, Henrik.

What is the thing
you want the most?

I'd rather stay here with you

and look after our house
and our children.

Anything else is madness,

something unthinkable.

But give me some freedom.

Let me be with Tomas
for some time.

Some time. What is that?

I don't know. You asked me,
I'm trying to answer you.

And should I find me
some "company"

during this indefinite period?

If you wish to...

If you demand it from me, I'm
willing to abandon everything...

The children, the house,
everything.

I will discretely disappear.

- Don't worry.
- The children?

Yes, the children, Henrik.

Maybe it's better for them
if I am not here.

This way they would
be spared any problems.

We've always kept them
away from them, haven't we?

Poor Anna.

Poor Anna,
what you've been through.

I begged God to fall ill
or go straight to the hospital.

Only to escape all this guilt,
all this...

Do you think there is any meaning
in this that is happening to us

and that causes us
so much pain?

I wanted to tell you.
I almost told you several times.

You're still my best friend,
despite all that has happened.

You're the only one
with whom I could always talk,

and it's been very strange for me
to have to pretend

and act.

- Do you understand what I say?
- I do.

I thought of telling you
and furthermore

I thought that between us two...

I understand.

But then I saw all the work
that you had to do,

all the responsibility toward
so many people.

Then I thought that
you couldn't handle the truth.

I thought it would be cruel.

Yes...

It would be cruel to
involve you in something

I had to solve by myself.

Sometimes I'd suddenly think
"it is now".

"Now I'll tell him everything,
no matter what".

But then I saw your anxiety

and your exhaustion.

And the more time passed away

the harder it was for me.

Does anyone else
know about it?

No.

Not even your mother?

No. How can you think
that I'd tell it to her?

Not at all.

No one else?

No.

Are you sure?

Märta knows it.

Ah, Märta.

I'll tell you,
but it will hurt you.

Maybe it's better if I know it.

I wanted to be with Tomas.

I wanted us to be alone
for a few days.

Tomas had much more doubts than
me. He wanted it and he didn't.

He was afraid.
He said it would be a mistake.

But I told him that a mistake
would already be a prowess.

So I wrote to Märta,

who was spending some time
with her aunt in Norway.

I explained her the whole situation.

She replied and said that
we could spend there

a few days on our own.
- I see.

I can see that you
want to understand it.

And I thank you for it.

Have you talked with
anyone else?

Yes.

So?

With uncle Jacob.

So he knows about it.

He's our friend,
an intimate friend.

He conducted my confirmation.

- He's my superior.
- Does it matter?

No, maybe not.

He likes you, I know it.
And you also know it.

I met him unexpectedly.

We sat on a bench in the
cemetery and we talked.

He directly asked me if there was something
bothering me and I confessed it.

What did he say?

He advised me to tell the truth,
that there was no other option.

He told me to break my
relationship with Tomas.

That it was my only option,
that it was my duty.

He said that I'd be sinning
against you if I didn't tell you.

He was very harsh.

Or maybe he just sounded
harsh to you.

What were you expecting?

I don't know.

I made my confession without
any goals or hopes.

It was necessary. I guess I
knew what he would tell me

but I was afraid.

You were afraid?

Yes, I was afraid.

I told uncle Jacob that the
truth in this situation

could be a disaster for
many people.

And he replied that

it was a mistake to
underestimate you, Henrik.

And now I see

that uncle Jacob was right.

And I thank you, Henrik.

You helped me.

Is it true that sister Sophia
will be working as a visitor?

Why not?
She's an excellent person.

But she has artritis
and she's always tired.

How did they select her?

- I understand it.
- Well, I don't.

What I can't undestand is why
we eat in a dirty tablecloth.

I don't understand it.
- A dirty tablecloth?

Yes, the tablecloth is stained.

I don't know how long it's
been like this. More than one week.

Ten days at least.

I can't believe you didn't notice it.

You usually detect stains.

Where are the stains? Where?

Here...

Here and...

here.

I don't know where you're
heading, Henrik.

Nowhere special.
It's nothing important.

Not for you, at least,
or so it seems.

Tomorrow you'll eat over a clean
tablecloth. The subject is closed.

I'm very sorry if the tablecloth
stains have annoyed you,

but we are in the country
and we have no guests.

Things don't seem that
simple to me.

Then tell me how things
seem to you.

It's very clear, Anna.

I just realized that you are
neglecting our place.

What did you say?

Neglecting our place.

Fluff under the bed,
filthy tablecloths,

dead plants.

I've been away for six weeks.
And the plants...

And why were you away
for six weeks?

Answer me sincerely.

Sincerely, Anna.

I don't understand it.
We had agreed on this.

You didn't want to
go to Dalecarlia with mother.

You preferred to stay here,
by the sea.

You yourself suggested that

me and the children should go
to DalecarIia and that we would

meet here in the beginning
of August. Remember?

I remeber how quicky you
accepted my suggestion.

I was thankful to you for not
making it more complicated.

You were thankful because you
could meet your lover this way.

All these little trips to Uppsala
were beginning to sound suspicious.

Now I understand it.

I went three times to UppsaIa
with my mother

to help her with some matters.

Four times. Four, Anna.

Four, it's true. Four.

All of which were
magnificient opportunities

to meet with your lover.

Answer me, Anna. For God's sake,
let's be honest!

I beg you.

What do you want to know?

- I already told you everything.
- I want details.

Details? What do you mean?

Just what I said.

You owe me a detailed explanation

of this amorous affair
with that person.

What if I refuse?

I have many ways to force you.
Have you thought about it?

- You can keep the children.
- It will be better for both of us

if you are as honest as possible.

Answer my questions
with complete honesty.

And with complete tranquility
I will evaluate your answers,

perhaps with the help
of a legal attorney,

and then decide about
the following step.

Do you understand me?
- Yes.

Do you want to say something?

I was just wondering

where has all your mercy
and comprehesion gone.

Where is it, the one
you displayed on Sunday?

My comprehension is not
unchanging.

What you told me paralized me,
but now I can see my duty.

Your duty?

Yes. My duty toward the children.

I can't leave them. I must think of
the children before anything else.

My sweet Henrik.

Since you, obviously without
any hesitation whatsoever,

placed your pleasure before
anything else,

endangering your family,

I must assume the responsibility.

I can't tolerate broken glasses,
dirty tablecloths,

dead plants or thorn curtains.

I can't tolerate the untidiness your
indecency has brought into this house.

Henrik, you can't...

I can't what? I will do
what must be done!

I will do what my duty
requires at this moment!

If you find it less unpleasant,
less embarrassing,

I can write my questions to you

and you will answer me
in a letter,

which, of course, will be treated
with the utmost care.

- I see.
- I was here

alone, missing my family.

I was happy to see that you
and the children were fine.

I told you in a letter
to be brave,

to rest, to take care of yourself,

that we'd see each other soon,
that we are in the hands of God.

What do you want now?

Were you naked with
this person?

You've heard me.

Yes, but I don't know
if I'm dreaming.

Were you naked,
were both of you?

Yes, we were naked!

Interesting. With me,

you only get naked reluctantly.

That is true.

How many times
did you sleep with him?

I don't know.

I'm sure you do, but you're
ashamed to tell it to me.

Between 15 and 20 times, I think.

And how many times did
you come straight from his bed

to me?

I don't know.
I tried to avoid it.

But then I thought that as long
as it was as brief as possible,

it would be better to submit
without making a scene.

And is that love?

Yes, maybe that's love.

And how long has
this ignominy been going on?

I by that you mean

my amorous relatioship
with Tomas,

then it's been going on
for more than a year.

Last Summer, Gertrud
and Tomas came to Vároms.

You were supposed to join us
later and I was alone with the kids.

They came and we celebrated
St. John's night together.

We used to go for long walks
in the woods.

One day

Gertrud had a sore throat
and decided to stay at home.

Tomas and I went
together to Djuptjärn.

There's an old farm there.

I asked him to be with me.

I pushed him into it!

- Aren't you ashamed?
- No.

How come?

After the problems with
my last delivery,

I think I can't feel
ashamed anymore.

And why did you tell me
to do it safely?

You made me do it safely.
Why did you lie to me?

I lied to you because

the idea of having your seed
inside my body was unbearable.

- But not his?
- No.

Not his.

Now I understand.

Now I understand

why you've been so careless
about your house this last year.

The broken glasses,

the dirty tablecloths...

Quite the contrary.

My conscience was so heavy
that I worked twice as hard,

for you and for the kids.

I did everything I could,
everything I could think of.

You can accuse of the worst things

but not of neglecting our house.

Nor my work at the parish

or my affection.
- But your conscience was heavy.

Yes.

It's true.

But mostly because
I love them

and you too.

I wanted to make it up to you
as much as possible.

And what do you talk about?

I don't understand you.

What do you talk about?
Or do you just fornicate?

Don't talk to me like that!
It's humiliating!

Then answer me!

I don't know! He asks himself if
God will punish us!

And?

And what?

I thought I could live
the joy of love

for once in my life.
Now I don't know anymore.

I begged God to punish me
instead of Tomas.

- You superseded one another.
- What do you mean?

You superseded one another
in religious erotism.

I must vomit.

Drink this.

It will be good for you.

Do you want to

throw up again?

I will sit by your side.

Take a rest in the sofa.

We won't talk.

Let's not make things worse.

You'll be fine with
the blanket and the cushion.

I'll be sitting here without
making any noise.

I think it's raining.

I'll close the terrace door.

Done.

Third conversation.

Six months after the first
meeting of Anna and Tomas.

Two months before the confession.

Please, could you...

Good morning. These bags are going
to the boat from Molde.

Maybe we should salute each other.

Yes. Good morning, Mrs. Bergman.

Good morning, Mr. Egerman.

How thoughtful of you
to come and pick me up.

We had stayed in the boat.

I've been waiting for you for hours.

Maybe you were hoping
I wouldn't come.

I guess I'm afraid.

- This is an adventure.
- Are you still afraid?

Aren't you?

Yes.

A little.

Well, let's go.

Thanks.

"Molde is beautifully located,...

with a wonderful view
to the fiords and the snowy

RomsdaI hills".

- A main street.
- He looks like our parish priest.

Let's discuss the practical details.

- That sounds terrible.
- Terrible but necessary.

I suppose it is.

Finaly we can be on our own
fot a couple of days.

All this looks incredibIe,
to me at least.

We'll stay in Märta's aunt's house,
outside the village.

Can you trust her?

She's the only one who knows,
but it's inevitable.

We became close friends
at the nursing school in Uppsala.

She's a missionary and a nurse,
and she works in China.

She came to visit her aunt,
who lives in Molde

but now is in a bathing resort
in Baviera.

And Märta is out for a
congress in Eidsvág...

We'll be alone at the house.

This boat stops at Eidsväg
before MoIde.

Märta will come to give us
the house keys.

Your friend will come here?

To the boat?

Don't be so alarmed, Tomas.

You should have told me.

You said that you'd plan the
trip according to my wishes

and that I'd deal with the
practical issues.

Yes, but this about your friend...

Don't worry about Märta.

She's the best friend
one can have.

She doesn't approve of our
relationship. She says

it is dangerous and all that.

But when the moment comes,
she's very loyal.

Aren't you afraid, Anna?

So much planning.

If I think about it, yes. So I
don't think. I just plan it, that's it.

The only thing that frightens me...

The only thing that frightens me
is that we must

give our love such proportions.

What do you mean by that?

Maybe our poor love
won't stand all this weight.

- It must justify what we do.
- Think so?

You have such beautiful hands.

But you bite your nails.

At he begnining, without
you realizing it,

I used to watch your hand
when you were not watching

and used to think that this hand...

Yes?

No, nothing.

We must discuss
another practical issue.

It's the wedding ring
of my maternal grandfather.

He gave it to me before he died.

You can put it on.

It would look awkward if you
didn't carry a wedding ring.

But Anna...

- You promised to play at the church.
- Yes, of course.

- But even so...
- The ring is a precaution,

Nothing more, Tomas.
- You thought of everything.

What a sad face.

No, no. But the ring...

I don't know.

You must be wise, Tomas.

The ring is a practical matter.

And fun too.

What would grandfather say
on his grave?

Put it, Tomas.

We'll become invisible
during these two days.

No one will see us,
no one will hear us.

It's like a dream.

Let's hope it won't
turn into a nightmare.

Smile a little, Tomas.

Are you crying?

I almost never cry.
I quit it long ago.

I've also been
feeling distressed.

Sometimes I think:
"My poor Tomas...

Emotions certainly disturb him,

my emotions and his".

I think that maybe you were
longing for something else,

something peaceful and pretty,

free of lies.

Yes, a gift from God.

Not like this.

I won't start crying.
I'm not sad, really.

No need to console me.

Yes, console me.

I'm inconsolable.

Märta.

The one and only.

Goos morning, Anna.

Good morning, Sr. Egerman.

Anna, sweet heart,

despite everything
you're radiant and happy.

And your cheeks are reddish.

Do you want something to
drink? A tea...

or a snack.

No, thank you.

But still,

if you don't mind, I'd like
to talk with Anna alone.

Anna and I will go somewhere
and you may perhaps

stay here reading a book.

You can get something
from my traveling books.

There you go.

I'm sure you haven't read it.

"The Works of Love" by Sören
Kierkegaard, written in 1847,

translated and recently published
with annotations by

Torsten Bohlin.

I will do what your friend says.

Take the keys.

This is the side entrance
to the house

and this is the main door.

I suggest you use the
main entrance,

the neighbors can't see it.

They are very reserved and
I don't think they will disturb you.

I hope you won't regret
this adventure.

I will pray for you tonight

so that nothing can hinder us.

You may think that this trip
is a sudden whim.

This trip...

I don't know how to explain it.

This trip has something
to do with death.

I can't find the right words but

it's something like this:

I think

it is painful to discover
one's own loneliness.

I don't mean absolute loneliness,
the loneliness

at one's dying moment,
the loneliness of a child.

Yes, I know, Märta.
We are never alone,

we live in the hands of God.

I've tried so many times,

but I never managed
to achieve that bliss.

Alone.

It's pretty clear.

Then Tomas came
into my solitude.

And no we both can say

that we are not alone.

What else can I say?

At least I can tell you
I'm in a good mood.

I'm not well. I'm sad.

But what's the point of saying

"I am sad" if no one cares?

Let's see.

Look.

Look.

Look at that house.

Your Anna is a little tipsy,

but I'm telling you
it didn't happen yesterday.

I was born under the sign of Leo,

I have the heart of a lion.

I got it from my mother,
ans she's not afraid of anything.

Neither am I.

Are you afraid of me?

I guess not.

Be honest.

- Yes, sometimes.
- What frightens you?

I don't know.
I don't think that way.

You don't think that way?

You scare me when...

I take control.

Yes.

Forget about tomorrow.

We won't make plans again.

- Do you regret making this trip?
- No.

Yes, but not the way you think.
- Then how?

I wouldn't know how
to put it.

Aren't you afraid?

Come here, sweet heart.

Let's go to Mrs. Borkman room

before we run out of courage.

Let us undress separately.

I'll undress in the bathroom and
you'll undress outside. Agreed?

And don't turn on the light.

If someone passes by,
surely they will ask

what Mrs. Borkman
is doing at her age.

- I must get up.
- Yes, of course.

Just move a litlle.

I must still be sleeping.

I'm going.

The boat to AndaIsnäs
will leave in two hours,

at seven.

It leaves

one hour later on Sundays.

I will walk to the port.
It's not far.

I found a note
in the dressing room

with the timetable
for arrivals and departures.

On Sundays it leaves at seven.

One hour later than
the rest of the week.

There is a direct
connection with the train.

It leaves at 5 p.m..

It's a slow train.

A passengers train that stops
at every single station.

I won't reach Oslo before

tomorrow at one o'clock.

From there I have several options.

I could be in Stockholm at 7 p.m.

and in UppsaIa at 9.

Don't go.

One must be consequent.

What do you mean?

Just what I said.

I must be consequent.

I realized that I haven't been.

In what respect haven't you
been consequent?

I should have seen my
own insufficiencies.

I should have said that
this trip was a mistake.

Perhaps not for you,
but for me, yes.

This adventure is too much for me,
I'm too dull.

I knew it from the beginning
but you took the initiative

and I was a coward,
I didn't want to contradict you.

I knew I couldn't handle it.

I knew it all the time.

Please don't feel so miserable.
Or at least...

let us be miserable together.

It's obvious that we have thrown
ourselves into something

too big and too dangerous.

But if we stick together
maybe we can fix the damage.

Such tiny feet.

Are you still here?
I thought that you...

Yes.

Thanks you.

You're very kind, Märta.

You're very kind.

One thing is certain.

What?

Well, I know

I've seriously harmed Tomas

by forcing him to come here.

He could have refused.

How could he refuse?
I was so excited.

No, no, no.

He made some comments,
of course.

Small, innocent comments.

Did you ever experience
this strange thing

that you can't remember
the faces you see every day?

I'm trying to remember

mother's face, or Tomas',
or the children's, and I can't.

And when I dream,

I know that I'm dreaming of
someone close,

someone I see every day.

The dream tells me it is so,

but the face...

almost never fits,
it's an unknown face.

Suddenly, when walking
around here...

It must have been
Sunday afternoon because...

Or maybe it was Monday
afternoon, I don't know.

Suddenly,

while I was walking
through the houses,

I saw Henrik's face.

And it was horrible because

it wasn't Henrik as he is today.

Not that face that is

authoritarian and malicious,
or that cries.

Neither it was Henrik when he
becomes demanding or anguished.

Nor Henrik with

the frightened or simply
dumb face.

It was not that face.

It was another face.

But although it was another face,

I knew it was Henrik.

And I know

that he is the most lonesome
person on earth.

He's...

an adult child.

And I had been left
to look after him,

I had been given
the responsibility.

I...

am the one who's going to inflict
those wounds that never heal.

The wounds that get infected...

the ones that hurt the most.

The ones that never heal.

I see him holding on to me.

I am scared

and furious.

And when he truly threatens
my poor freedom,

I mortally wound him.

I could easily kill him.

And my gun...

Is Tomas.

This is how things are.

It's this simple, Märta.

What about Tomas?

Tomas left me.

But I won't leave him.

Fourth conversation.

Ten years later.
An Sunday in October.

Dear Anna.

How lovely, dear Anna.

You haven't changed.

Dear Anna.

It's been a long time.

- A long time, no?
- Yes.

Wait. It was...

Wait, let me see.

We met for the last time
in Hedvig EIeonora, two...

No, actually it was
three years ago.

Yes, Henrik was reading the mass.

It was the Sunday before
the 1932 advent

and you were there with the children.

One gets geographically
distant from people

although the distance is not long.

Geographically, yes.
But not...

How should I say this...

Not in a significant way.
Not emotionally.

I often think about you, Anna.

And I think about...

Here I am.

I spend the day
worrying about things.

You've always enjoyed that,
uncle Jacob.

I must not complain.

I am fine
in my uselessness.

I'm not doing bad.

But that takes a long time.

Now I do everything very slowly.

It suits me well,
for being so impatient and vague.

Now I must make an effort
every hour,

every minute.

But I want to be up and dressed.

I want to sit on my chair
as soon as possible.

I have a strong heart,
that won't stop working.

One afternoon,

my heart speeded up,
and then it stopped...

and I stopped to think
about it.

And I thought: "that's it, it's over".

But no.

And now I'm addicted to morphine.

That's the best part

in this long and sad story.

If I seem to be very
lively and talkative,

that's because I've just
been given my dose.

And it's like paradise.

First,

pain and afliction.

Then, no pain and euphoria.

So it's all about

dividing my time
between good and evil.

Maria reads to me
several hours a day.

I am

too tired and wasted to read.

She reads me
"The Queen's Diadem".

Sometimes hours are too long.

Then Maria plays
the piano for me.

I don't need company.

It's too exhausting and disturbing.

Friends think that
you need company when

you are dying, but not me.

So Maria says "no"
to every one of them.

The only thing

which is truly tedious

in all this tedium
is that I can't eat.

Liquids are the only thing I tolerate,
and that's horrible.

When I think of

the gluttonous epicure
I used to be...

Eating well and drinking well.

But I guess this
is my punishment.

Gluttony is one of
the seven deadly sins.

How are things going
for you, Anna?

Well, nothing much.
Same as usual.

And that is good.

It would be unfair to complain.
The children are good.

Mother had pneumonia, but
we think she will recover.

Henrik is nervous
because of the nomination.

But you already know this...

Yes, yes. I didn't ask
you for a report.

I want to know how
things are going for you,

how is Henrik,
what happened.

It's been ten years since
we last had a serious conversation.

The moment has come.

I read somewhere that your
friend got married

and I heard that he is
living outside UppsaIa.

I also heard that.

Why the gloomy face?

Don't I deserve

that you tell me how it all was?

Of course you do,
but I don't know

if there is anything to tell.

The reason why I asked

Maria to contact you...

The reason was that

I didn't want to die without
knowing how it worked for you.

I've always loved you

as if you were mine, Anna.

Like a daughter.

Not a single day passes
in which I don't think about your life.

During the long hours
of sickness,

the conversation

we had ten years ago
keeps coming to my mind...

Coming to my mind...

And it won't let me rest.

But here we are,

face to face.

The moment has come.

Now I want to know.

I followed your advice,
uncle Jacob.

I took the opportunity that
Henrik and I were

alone in the summer house.

It was difficult.

I must tell you it was
very difficult.

I knew I'd hurt him.

But I told him
everything as it was,

concealing nothing.

Not even the most painful details.

Henrik remained immobile

but he listened to me
without interrupting.

When I was finished,

we were in silence for a while.

Then Henrik said:

"Poor Anna, what
you've been through".

And we started talking

and I found the courage
to talk more about myself

than in the twelve years
we had been living together.

It was an incredible evening,
Uncle Jacob.

Almost majestic.

I thought of everything
you had told me,

of giving Henrik
the opportunity to mature.

Without reproaches...

without threats,
without bitterness,

with nothing bad.

See, Anna?

See?

Yes, I see it.

And then?

I did what you had advised me to.

I broke up with Tomas.

It was hard,

but after telling about it
to Henrik

our secret life could not go on.

So I broke up with Tomas.

There were tears,
of course. But

now it is nothing more
than a beautiful memory.

Tomas got married.

Well, you already know it.

I don't see him anymore.

Is Henrik still working too much?

Henrik works extremely hard.

He always works like that.

That was a bad year,
in all respects.

The children got sick,
I got sick.

Henrik was not allowing himself
a single moment of rest.

And then his nervous crisis came.

But you know, uncle Jacob?
At the hospitaI

we ended up closer
to one another.

I think there is
nothing else to tell.

They operated me twice
and I almost died.

So mother had to
take charge of the house.

It wasn't easy. Mother
and Henrik never got along.

What about Henrik and Anna?

Henrik and Anna

live together like good friends.

We can even have a fight,
which we didn't before.

And Henrik understands
that I need a little freedom.

Just a little.

Next Summer,

me and two other women
are going to Italy.

It's a big step.

To be honest, I was worried.

I wouldn't dare
asking you about it.

What you've told me

is a great relief.

Now I can say what
Simeon said in the Temple:

"Lord, now allow your
servant to leave in peace,

according to your word".

Forgive me, Anna.

I feel great tenderness
for your courage.

Do you remember when we stopped
at the Cathedral's Bridge

and we counted the seven
bridges of UpsaIa?

Yes...

And the capital sins.
- Yes.

Pride, avarice, lust,

envy, gluttony,

laziness,

wrath.

And spiritual sloth.

May God bless you.

Could you wait
outside for a moment?

- We'll be finished in a moment.
- Of course.

Good morning.

Good morning.

You see, I happen to be

one of his oldest friends.

He asked me

to give him communion now.

Today

is the anniversary
of our joint ordination.

Fifty years ago.

You can come now.

The night that

Christ was betrayed,
He took the bread,

thanked the Lord for it,
broke it

and gave it to His disciples,
saying: take it and eat it,

this is my body, which
will be given by you.

Do this in my memory.

In the same manner,
He took the chalice

and said:

take it and drink from it.

This is the chalice of my blood,

which will be shed for you,

for the remission of your sins.

Do this in my memory.

Our Father who art
in heaven, hallowed be...

The body of Christ,
which will be given by you.

The body of Christ,
which will be given by you.

The blood of Christ,
which will be shed for you.

The blood of Christ,
which will be shed for you.

May Jesus Christ.

whose body and blood
you have received,

grant you eternal life.

Amen.

Don't forget the psalm.

The psalm, yes.

Well, let's sing the psalm.

Lord, in my dying hour
I beg you

to take my hand unto your hand.

Guide me with your eternal light.

Lead me to your joyful kingdom.

He needs air.

Let's put his arms up.

Anna, call sister EIlen.

Come, please.
Uncle Jacob is not well.

Fifth conversation

One afternoon in May, 1907.
Anna is 18 years old.

At 10h30 we will all meet

in the dressing room.

At a quarter to eleven

we will go in procession
to the cathedral.

There will be a seat reserved
for you, I will point it out.

You must bring your missals.

And you cannot receive flowers
or gifts before the office.

Well, let us thank the Lord.

I'll see you at the
morning celebration.

Good afternoon and good night,
my children.

Good afternoon.

You may go.

Can I have a word with you?

Just a moment.

Of course.

It's a new hat.
I thought it was very ellegant.

You'll get used to it.

Father invites you and aunt
Maria for a meal this Sunday.

Thank you very much.

There will be music afterwards.

Sounds very tempting.

Mother will call you.

Actually, this was not the reason...

No, I had figured that out.

- It's about a problem.
- I thought it would be.

I'm afraid you may feel
offended, uncle Jacob.

I doubt that you can say anything
that will offend me.

It's like this...

Say it, Anna.

I can't take communion.

If you can't take communion,
you'll have a good reason for that.

I try to imagine myself
on my knees in the altar...

with the host and the wine.

It would be a deceit.

Deceit is a very strong word.

A lie, if you prefer.

If I took part in that ritual,
I'd be acting.

I can't.

Let's go out for a walk.
Let's have a look

at springtime.

I'll fetch my hat and my coat.

Let us sit here.

- What are you thinking, uncle Jacob?
- What am I thinking?

One doesn't have to say

"I love you". But one can
perform works of love.

That's how I imagined my life.

- You have thrown away the hat.
- No, it fell down on its own.

You let it fall?

You didn't like it.

Don't worry, it will pass.

Hug me, it's nothing serious.
Don't say a word.

You can't forbid me to talk.

I don't want to talk.

But I do.

What would you want to say?

I was just going to say
that the Fyris has seven bridges.

The Iceland Bridge,

the Västgöta Bridge,
the New Bridge,

the Cathedral Bridge,
the Hagalund Bridge,

and the Luthagen Bridge.

Seven bridges.

Seven, like the deadly sins.

Can you list them?

Laziness,

wrath,

gluttony,

envy, lust...

It's striking nine o'clock.

Your father will be wondering
where you are now.

Mother is already angry.

We'll say goodbye here.

Thank you. Good night.

Anna, if you don't want to take
communion tomorrow,

call me at eight.
I will be in my study room.

Then you'll tell me

if you're going or not.

I'll call you.

The worst part is
mother and the guests.

- And the confirmation dress.
- Be serious.

I'm being serious.

I'm almost crying.

Go to your room,
close the door

and cry.

When you're done with crying

take your decision
- Just like that?

Just like that.

Translated by Sateri for Karagarga.

Kindly sponsored by
Dudu, Stiller, Pueben, JoaoKG,
Gbigbi and Luther B.