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I'm an open book with pages left to
write.
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We can't wait to see what's inside. This
is the new story of my life.
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00:00:22,510 --> 00:00:26,810
The night I met my boyfriend, Eddie, she
saw me talking to him. So she totally
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00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:29,830
came over and started flirting with him.
She hiked her skirt up so high it
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looked like a tube top.
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I had to bust out the big guns. You just
whipped him out at a party?
7
00:00:39,460 --> 00:00:42,600
No, no. I charmed him with my famous
impression of Woody Allen.
8
00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:47,240
Get me back to Manhattan. I'm so
neurotic.
9
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:50,760
It was the boo.
10
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,820
I was going through a really tough
breakup, and that's why I invited her
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tonight.
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00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:01,740
Yeah, my boyfriend turned out to be a
real jerk.
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00:01:02,490 --> 00:01:04,190
I stayed with him way too long. Why?
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Well... Plus,
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he really knows how to get to you. Like,
he'll compliment the way you look.
16
00:01:14,230 --> 00:01:15,750
Man, you look great in that jacket.
17
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It really shows off your upper body
strength.
18
00:01:20,590 --> 00:01:22,250
It's a silly thing to make you laugh.
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Wait, huh?
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I didn't order the duck.
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And every so often he'll just gaze into
your eyes and kiss you like you're the
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only person in the world.
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Did I tell you I like the jacket?
24
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Well, I'm not really much of a group of
women type of girl. What's wrong with
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women?
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Nothing. If they're by themselves.
27
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But get them together and they become
catty and competitive and they want
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everything that you have.
29
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,040
When did you get so cynical?
30
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Oh, I don't know.
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Can I have my earrings back?
32
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Let me get this straight.
33
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Your sexy rocker boyfriend keeps sending
you expensive jewelry because he wants
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you back so badly.
35
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Yeah, that is tough.
36
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Well, it's a little more complicated
than that.
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I don't think I've ever really been
without a boyfriend.
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Don't take this the wrong way, but I
hate you.
39
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Groupies don't get dinner.
40
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Did you get dinner?
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No, but... Uh -huh.
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Groupies don't spend the night.
43
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Did you spend the night?
44
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She had an early appointment.
45
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Oh, so I slept with her longer at the
book reading.
46
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Not that I even feel the need to dignify
this discussion, but if I'm just a
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groupie, then why did she give me her
phone number?
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00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:53,380
Did you try it yet?
49
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,340
No, but why would I even doubt it?
50
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What are you doing?
51
00:03:00,209 --> 00:03:03,130
Oh, okay, good. Yeah, sure, call her. I
need to speak to her anyway.
52
00:03:05,030 --> 00:03:06,030
Carpet Emporium.
53
00:03:09,170 --> 00:03:15,850
Right before Gavin went into surgery, he
kind of said something to me.
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What? Well, he said that he had feelings
for me and that we should be together.
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Oh, my God.
56
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You and Gavin?
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Dainty, fragile butterfly mating with, I
don't know, whatever you'd be.
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And if you sign up for our membership
card, I can take 20 % off right now.
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I know exactly which 20 % I want you to
take off.
60
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Pick up women, and then I'll ate.
61
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Yes, ma 'am.
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Excuse me.
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I called about an iPod I left here.
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You? Yeah, me.
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I can't believe it. I mean, you're so
young and pretty.
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00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:22,260
Uh, thank you.
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No, no, I didn't mean it like that. I
just mean that you seem so cool.
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Are you seeing anybody?
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Kind of just like my iPod.
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No, no, no.
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No. No, I didn't mean it like that. I
mean, I'm not gay.
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Though I have dabbled.
73
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But, uh,
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there's always been a guy watching.
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I'll be right back.
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Isn't it crazy?
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I mean, look at her.
78
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Great hair, beautiful smile, sexy little
body.
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I'm really confused.
80
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,000
Really? Sounds to me like you've made up
your mind.
81
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:06,260
want nothing more than to bring you back
to my hotel for a night of the wildest,
82
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:08,820
kinkiest sex of your life.
83
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,680
And Skylar never has to know.
84
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:13,400
So what do you say?
85
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Hey, she may be my girlfriend, but she
doesn't own me.
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I can imagine using what you got to get
little things like free drinks, a nice
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dinner.
88
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Condo.
89
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,620
But not marriage. Someone gave you a
condo?
90
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One bedroom, no ocean view. It was like
a slap in the face.
91
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:41,540
So what are you going to do?
92
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I don't know, sell it before the market
crashes?
93
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I love you, Kat.
94
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,580
Harold, I love you. Oh, and Stuart, I
love you.
95
00:05:58,860 --> 00:05:59,860
What did you say?
96
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,500
I love you, Stuart.
97
00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:04,840
Oh, my God, I love you, too.
98
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:06,720
Yeah.
99
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,160
You don't know how long it would be to
say those words to me. I love you, too.
100
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,620
love you so much. I love you.
101
00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:14,120
Thanks, bro. I love you, too. Now, kiss.
102
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,400
R. Kelly.
103
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,820
What? You went on two dates with her.
How could you not realize she was a
104
00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:55,560
teenager? Because she pretended to be
old and she was very convincing. You saw
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her. She looked nothing like a high
school student.
106
00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:58,840
Hey, Gavin.
107
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:04,520
I want you to meet my friend Skyler.
Skyler, this is my fiancé, Charlie
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00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,760
Rosenberg. Very nice to meet you,
Charlie.
109
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:07,879
Don't squeeze.
110
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:08,880
You'll break a finger.
111
00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:14,370
Oh, and this is Charlie's caregiver,
Nixie. Not that he really... he needs
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00:07:14,410 --> 00:07:16,430
He's very independent and healthy.
113
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I've restarted his heart four times.
114
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Twice since he met me.
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Reduce plus the register at Bed Bath &
The Great Beyond.
116
00:07:33,890 --> 00:07:37,270
Well, she doesn't need much for the
wedding. She's already got something old
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blue.
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00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,100
The pyramids aren't as old as he looks.
119
00:07:47,380 --> 00:07:50,520
Maybe he likes her because she reminds
him of his first girlfriend, also named
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Eve.
121
00:07:54,020 --> 00:07:57,460
That's not nice. You know, a lot of
women like older men. Oh, please. He's
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enough to be her father.
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He's old enough to be her forefather.
124
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,880
Don't flirt with Gary, okay? That's
probably why this whole thing started.
125
00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:10,980
You're very flirty.
126
00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:14,710
Flirty. Oh, please.
127
00:08:14,910 --> 00:08:16,310
You were totally flirting with me
yesterday.
128
00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:18,930
Well, that was because I wanted the
weekend off.
129
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,370
By the way, have you made a decision on
that?
130
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:27,230
Yeah, take whatever you need.
131
00:08:28,650 --> 00:08:29,629
Thank you.
132
00:08:29,630 --> 00:08:30,730
It's not your fault.
133
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:33,890
Unless you're being flirty with him like
you are with me.
134
00:08:36,010 --> 00:08:39,010
I'm not flirty with you. Hey, my eyes
are up here.
135
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,100
You know what that means.
136
00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:51,620
Skylar, come on.
137
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:52,700
No, no, no. What does it mean?
138
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:55,680
Come on.
139
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000
Tonight's the night.
140
00:08:57,460 --> 00:08:58,460
For what?
141
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,260
Chicka -bam -bam, chicka -bam -bam. Woo!
142
00:09:03,740 --> 00:09:05,280
You haven't had sex yet?
143
00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:07,100
Kat, we've only been on two dates.
144
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,200
What are you, playing hard to get?
145
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:14,280
Kat, you know, a woman will only wait so
long before she finds someone else to
146
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:15,280
get the job done.
147
00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:21,490
You don't wait for the third date?
148
00:09:21,650 --> 00:09:24,270
What is the third date thing? Does
everybody know about this?
149
00:09:25,510 --> 00:09:27,410
I can't believe we let you handle food.
150
00:09:29,490 --> 00:09:31,530
Yes, Kat, it's a common dating standard.
151
00:09:31,850 --> 00:09:33,450
Yeah, maybe if you're Amit.
11662
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