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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,780 --> 00:00:01,960 Stand easy, good guys. 2 00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:03,280 Stand easy. 3 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:04,800 Ignore them. 4 00:00:04,820 --> 00:00:05,820 Shut up! 5 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:06,979 Ignore them. 6 00:00:06,980 --> 00:00:08,540 Don't pay them any attention at all. 7 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,560 It's great to see you all back in uniform. I hope it feels good. I feel 8 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:13,560 mine. 9 00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:14,780 Remember, 10 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:19,820 this is a symbol of authority. The good guys are back together. 11 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:22,580 They have been demoted to uniform. 12 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:28,220 This is not a step down at all. I don't want you to think about this. And I 13 00:00:28,220 --> 00:00:29,860 don't want this referred to as a tit. 14 00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:31,218 At all. 15 00:00:31,220 --> 00:00:35,540 It has many uses, does it not, Ray? 16 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:36,879 Such as? 17 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,160 Well, you can stand on it and look over garden walls and look for criminals. 18 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,560 Indeed, you can gain height in this way. In fact, we should demonstrate. Ray, 19 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:43,860 you'll be my wall. OK. 20 00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:46,180 I'll always be a wall for you, sir. 21 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,880 Climb up here. 22 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,220 Well, don't just stand there and nick them! 23 00:00:53,580 --> 00:00:55,340 Get out of my house, if necessary! 24 00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,100 Cheeky little bum! 25 00:01:23,020 --> 00:01:24,020 The good God. 26 00:01:43,860 --> 00:01:49,780 Well, due to the success of the last series, I've been put in a slightly 27 00:01:49,780 --> 00:01:51,040 position where I've had the... 28 00:01:51,450 --> 00:01:53,110 BBC beeping at my door again. 29 00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:57,810 And all the execs twisting my arm now to do a second series. 30 00:01:58,190 --> 00:02:00,050 This show is a show about two policemen. 31 00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:02,710 Unfortunately, it's about you two policemen. 32 00:02:03,530 --> 00:02:07,350 That gives you glory. You don't have the talent for it. You're not telegenic. 33 00:02:07,570 --> 00:02:11,490 It was a tremendous success, the last series. The viewing figures were 34 00:02:11,490 --> 00:02:17,510 high. It started at 2 .6 million. Yeah. And went down to 0 .5. 35 00:02:18,510 --> 00:02:22,690 And, of course, well, when you get a success like that, you want to repeat 36 00:02:22,990 --> 00:02:26,790 I mean, it's very good that you've come in here, and I can tell you to your 37 00:02:26,790 --> 00:02:28,710 faces that your faces don't fit. 38 00:02:29,570 --> 00:02:35,370 Like the letterbox mouth that's there, mentioned several times. 39 00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:36,590 Geoffrey, please. 40 00:02:37,130 --> 00:02:40,250 Please, I'm begging you, do not call this show. 41 00:02:40,570 --> 00:02:42,910 We've put so much effort and time into this. 42 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,180 Yes, as I've explained to you, I am very sympathetic. 43 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,340 I'm listening very hard to what you're saying. 44 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:55,260 I am, of course, well aware that we had serious problems with the last 45 00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:58,980 operation. Quite frankly, the good guys were bad. 46 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:04,340 The commissioner has insisted on a retraining programme. 47 00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:06,240 Shut up, get back over there. 48 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:11,680 Shut up, you as well. I am completely convinced... that the good guys will now 49 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:15,220 become a force to be reckoned with rather than a disgrace to the force. 50 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:17,500 Is that right? 51 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,320 I'm the staff sergeant here. You will all address me as staff. 52 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:22,560 You understand? 53 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,180 I can't hear nothing. 54 00:03:24,540 --> 00:03:26,380 Right. What's this for, Marilyn? 55 00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:28,420 It's my guitar. 56 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,340 Of course they're doing retraining. What else do you think they're doing? They 57 00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:32,340 were a complete shower. 58 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,680 Shut up, you. Are you tall enough to be a policeman? 59 00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:40,690 Are you? 60 00:03:41,530 --> 00:03:43,810 You're short, fat and as blind as a bat. 61 00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:45,610 Do you understand? 62 00:03:46,090 --> 00:03:47,090 So shut it. 63 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:55,430 He's lucky that he's a senior officer. Do you hear him call me fatty? He's not 64 00:03:55,430 --> 00:03:57,070 exactly skinny himself, is he? 65 00:03:57,850 --> 00:04:01,370 Yes, I mean, personally, I don't believe in psychoanalysis, but really, I was at 66 00:04:01,370 --> 00:04:05,410 the end of my tether and I decided I had to get somebody in, a specialist, to 67 00:04:05,410 --> 00:04:06,850 really find out what had gone wrong. 68 00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:11,610 Bones is first on the psychiatrist's couch and talks about his school days. 69 00:04:15,070 --> 00:04:20,810 Well, in general, you know, it's all right. 70 00:04:22,170 --> 00:04:23,170 All right. 71 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:29,970 You know, usual bit of bullying, you know, at school and stuff. 72 00:04:30,490 --> 00:04:33,730 I just thought if we filmed it up with Walter and left it overnight, it might 73 00:04:33,730 --> 00:04:34,730 just be so stupid. 74 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,040 Straight in there. 75 00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,540 Four or five of them held me down. 76 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:48,560 Put a whole jar of Coleman's mustard over my urogenital area. 77 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,560 How did that feel? 78 00:04:57,820 --> 00:04:58,820 Hot. 79 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,900 No long faces this week, please. OK? 80 00:05:02,390 --> 00:05:06,070 It's not a retraining course, it's merely a refresher. So let's enjoy it, 81 00:05:06,070 --> 00:05:07,950 goodness sake, OK? Come on, cheer up. 82 00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:10,810 That's more like it. That's better. 83 00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:14,430 I'm going to be here. Hold position here. Ray, you're going to be underneath 84 00:05:14,450 --> 00:05:15,149 as usual. 85 00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:16,470 Desard, Bill, you take this one. 86 00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:18,230 Top or bottom? 87 00:05:18,390 --> 00:05:20,410 Steam. Steam might pop up. 88 00:05:20,690 --> 00:05:22,330 22 years I've had that. 89 00:05:23,810 --> 00:05:24,810 What do you see? 90 00:05:29,050 --> 00:05:30,730 Violence, threatening, scary. 91 00:05:31,660 --> 00:05:32,660 Scary. OK. 92 00:05:33,180 --> 00:05:34,180 What about that one? 93 00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:37,900 Also very frightening. 94 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,200 What do you see in it? 95 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,300 Well, it looks like one of the yetis in Doctor Who. 96 00:05:45,740 --> 00:05:46,860 Oi! Oi! 97 00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:51,740 Stop it! Give it back to me! 98 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:05,440 What is it? 99 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:06,379 What is it? 100 00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:07,820 What's disgusting? 101 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:14,780 What have you got in there, man? When I travel, I always take it everywhere with 102 00:06:14,780 --> 00:06:15,780 me. 103 00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:18,380 You take it with you? 104 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:23,740 Yeah, everywhere, everywhere. I mean, when I'm working at home, obviously I 105 00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:27,180 leave it at home. That is your real testicle? 106 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,300 Yeah. 107 00:06:30,469 --> 00:06:35,210 Well, the doctor suggested when I had it removed that if I carried it with me at 108 00:06:35,210 --> 00:06:37,830 all times, I wouldn't feel such a loss. 109 00:06:39,170 --> 00:06:42,010 So what's that, then, the stuff, that wee -wee? 110 00:06:42,430 --> 00:06:45,850 Right, you're all here today because you've failed dramatically on the 111 00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:51,610 and this is a training centre where you will have to be physically trained again 112 00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:55,210 to work as a team. Can you just clear one thing up for me, please? Shut up, 113 00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:56,850 Lose your hat. Someone take his hat. 114 00:06:57,590 --> 00:06:58,590 Come over here. 115 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:00,760 Come over here. 116 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,260 Right. We've got a chart here. 117 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:04,980 It's called a progress chart. 118 00:07:05,540 --> 00:07:07,440 And it charts your progress. 119 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,040 As in a points system. 120 00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:10,620 Hold it still. 121 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,460 Right. All your names are on the bottom. 122 00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:15,920 And when I call them out, I want you to answer. 123 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,300 Staff. 124 00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:20,040 We have... Decide. 125 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:21,660 Decide. Shut up. 126 00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:24,240 Bill Zinger. 127 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,180 Zabub. Staff. 128 00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:28,920 Ash. Staff. Bitch. 129 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:32,720 I'll be that. 130 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,020 Bitch, is that you? 131 00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:41,220 Beach. And when you're relating to authority figures, are you always happy 132 00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:42,220 as you're told? 133 00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,740 Oh, certainly, yes. I always respond well to authority. 134 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:46,800 Found you've got the bed already, have you? 135 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:49,040 Yes, Peter, officer. Pole position. 136 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,780 Pole position, my bollocks. You get up there, you down here where I can see 137 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,660 You don't feel threatened by being told what to do? 138 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,160 Not at all. 139 00:07:59,150 --> 00:08:00,150 It's part of my job. 140 00:08:00,310 --> 00:08:01,450 And what's your problem? 141 00:08:02,450 --> 00:08:03,490 I don't have a problem. 142 00:08:03,890 --> 00:08:04,890 Then smile. 143 00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,550 Let me see a smile on that face. 144 00:08:08,350 --> 00:08:09,350 I can smile. 145 00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:11,850 That's what I like to see. 146 00:08:12,090 --> 00:08:13,130 I like to see my men happy. 147 00:08:14,490 --> 00:08:20,150 I expect my men to follow my lead in that and respond to myself as a senior 148 00:08:20,150 --> 00:08:21,890 figure. He's got to stop. 149 00:08:22,230 --> 00:08:24,270 He shouldn't be talking to me like that. 150 00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:25,990 Not in front of everybody. 151 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:30,460 Well, you go and have a word with him. Just don't pack it in. I will. 152 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,980 Listen, tonight you can pop up here if you want. What? 153 00:08:35,659 --> 00:08:36,860 Tonight you can pop up here. 154 00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:41,659 I beg your pardon? No, when the lights go out, you can go up here and I'll go 155 00:08:41,659 --> 00:08:42,619 the down way. 156 00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:43,620 Oh, I see. Yeah, OK. 157 00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:46,820 What do you want me to say to him? 158 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:52,720 Why did talking about your mother make you feel so threatened? 159 00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:56,250 No, talking about my mother doesn't make me feel threatened. 160 00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:59,510 You bloody people are all the same, aren't you? 161 00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:03,210 If you don't see something sinister in what people are thinking or saying, you 162 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,590 have to put something down, don't you? 163 00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:07,110 Well, you're not catching me out like that, Joey. 164 00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:09,430 Why have you got a tie on? 165 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:10,810 Well, where's your tie? 166 00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:12,810 Um, in the dormitory, sir. 167 00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:16,870 Well, then tell me something else. Why is your shirt hanging out the bottom of 168 00:09:16,870 --> 00:09:17,469 your pants? 169 00:09:17,470 --> 00:09:19,050 Well, I took your shirt off. 170 00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,870 And the shoes, why haven't they seen a bit of polish? 171 00:09:23,450 --> 00:09:27,190 Well, that's not appropriate, is it? Shut up. Sit down. 172 00:09:27,490 --> 00:09:28,490 Sorry. 173 00:09:29,510 --> 00:09:30,710 Put it down! 174 00:09:31,290 --> 00:09:32,290 Put it down! 175 00:09:34,050 --> 00:09:38,170 Why did you... Oh, no! 176 00:09:40,950 --> 00:09:41,950 Well, 177 00:09:45,490 --> 00:09:47,310 that feels fantastic. 178 00:09:48,250 --> 00:09:52,300 Everything's gone. All the... The pressure, tension has been lifted now. 179 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,260 feel marvellous saying that. I really do. 180 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:59,100 In fact, I'm going to have analysis as often as I possibly can. Everybody 181 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,100 indulge in it. 182 00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:01,660 It's really good. I can't thank you enough. 183 00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:03,800 Well, thank you, James, for being here. Not at all. 184 00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:05,100 Great. 185 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,300 Terrific. Take care. 186 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,260 Oh, naughty, naughty. 187 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,020 You chaps get everywhere, don't you? Eh? 188 00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,760 Oh, just explaining why you can't do PE, I presume, yeah? 189 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,760 So, your uncle is the commissioner? 190 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:34,980 What about this one, Mark? 191 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:39,460 What do you see there? 192 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:47,960 Um... No. 193 00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:54,970 Sorry, I'll... Right, as I look amongst you, Today, I'm about ready to pick out 194 00:10:54,970 --> 00:10:56,670 an assistant, a monitor, if you like. 195 00:10:57,150 --> 00:11:01,170 That's going to be my right -hand man, who willed the same amount of power that 196 00:11:01,170 --> 00:11:03,010 I do over you lot. 197 00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:04,990 Sit down, bitch. 198 00:11:06,870 --> 00:11:08,230 Bitch, sit down. 199 00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:12,790 Now, we can't see anything there. 200 00:11:13,450 --> 00:11:14,910 Turn it upside down, maybe. 201 00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:16,550 Turn it around, this way. 202 00:11:19,210 --> 00:11:20,830 What does that remind you of? 203 00:11:25,930 --> 00:11:28,110 And my choice is Mark. 204 00:11:29,090 --> 00:11:32,850 What? Mark? Me, sir? Yes, you, Mark. Come up here, sir. 205 00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:36,110 And this, does that look like smoke? 206 00:11:38,770 --> 00:11:40,810 Smoke? Not really. 207 00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:45,530 But I think you mean... Not a dog smoking a pipe. 208 00:11:46,630 --> 00:11:47,730 There's a pipe here, look. 209 00:11:49,090 --> 00:11:50,090 It's not smoke. 210 00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:51,430 It's just hail. 211 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,210 No, I can't see that, no. 212 00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:58,540 You will take notice of him the same as you would me. 213 00:11:58,840 --> 00:11:59,840 Is that understood? 214 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,860 Stop. Can you hear that, Mark? Stop! I can't hear you! 215 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:04,440 Stop! 216 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:05,479 That's better. 217 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:06,600 And if it were a dog? 218 00:12:07,820 --> 00:12:09,260 How would that make you feel? 219 00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:15,900 Right, today's exercise is all about teamwork. 220 00:12:16,580 --> 00:12:17,720 Mark? Stop! 221 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:19,540 Pick two captains out. 222 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:23,460 For the first time, Mark is asked to assert his authority. 223 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,060 Me and the governor, we're like that. 224 00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:33,580 We're joined at the hip. 225 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,560 We're like Cagney and Lacey, Dempsey and Makeby. 226 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:37,920 We're a team. 227 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:43,900 Captain, if I asked you to climb a mountain, would you wear a pair of 228 00:12:44,420 --> 00:12:45,980 No, you wouldn't. 229 00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:50,700 So I don't want to see you wearing boating shoes in the PE gym. Is that 230 00:12:51,540 --> 00:12:52,700 Now, up to the front. 231 00:12:53,780 --> 00:12:55,400 Together, we work as one. 232 00:12:56,180 --> 00:12:59,460 And he'll never let me down, and I'll never let him down. 233 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:13,420 I had a dream once, a very strange dream, that I was in a dark room and I 234 00:13:13,420 --> 00:13:14,420 him call me. 235 00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:19,740 And he said, Ray, Ray. And I looked there and he was all golden. 236 00:13:21,140 --> 00:13:22,140 Phil! 237 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,380 And he looked like a Buddha. 238 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:32,200 And he said, Ray, follow me, follow me, sir. 239 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,340 It was just such a beautiful dream. 240 00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:42,630 All teams elected! 241 00:13:44,010 --> 00:13:45,010 Right, 242 00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:50,170 well I'm not going to have this great leader of men, bitch, with her best 243 00:13:50,690 --> 00:13:51,830 Mark? No! 244 00:13:52,650 --> 00:13:53,650 Jumble them up. 245 00:13:57,030 --> 00:14:01,070 Gary Bones, team one, and Bill, team two. 246 00:14:02,850 --> 00:14:04,010 When he sings to me. 247 00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:07,670 You know, there's no need for it. He doesn't have to do that, but he knows I 248 00:14:07,670 --> 00:14:09,190 love it, the sound of his voice. 249 00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:11,950 Ash, join Beach. 250 00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:14,350 Get on with it. 251 00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:19,870 It's a bit of luck, so, isn't it? I nearly wasn't on your team yet. 252 00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:21,310 Come on, folks. 253 00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:31,270 I am standing in a river, a raging river, and today's exercise is an 254 00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:34,270 test in order for you to get you and your team... 255 00:14:34,510 --> 00:14:35,970 Over the Raging River. 256 00:14:36,450 --> 00:14:38,370 Now, you're on a timer, so let's go. 257 00:14:38,610 --> 00:14:39,610 Keep it shut, you. 258 00:14:40,750 --> 00:14:41,489 Let's go. 259 00:14:41,490 --> 00:14:42,490 Gather round, my man. 260 00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:46,770 No, no, no, no. Stay, stay, stay. But he's timing us. You're in the Raging 261 00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:47,770 River, sir. 262 00:14:48,910 --> 00:14:50,650 No. More haste. 263 00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:54,870 Let's all be calm about this. It's back to school. It's basic physics that we're 264 00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:56,690 after. I want you to remember three things. 265 00:14:57,170 --> 00:14:58,170 E -F -M. 266 00:14:58,990 --> 00:15:00,190 Equilibrium. Fulcrum. 267 00:15:00,730 --> 00:15:01,730 And meniscus. 268 00:15:02,089 --> 00:15:04,770 It's all a question of weight distribution, okay? 269 00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:07,889 They've done it. 270 00:15:07,890 --> 00:15:08,890 They've done it, sir. 271 00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:10,370 They've done it. They've done it. They're gone. 272 00:15:10,590 --> 00:15:12,250 We can't use their bridge. We're screwed. 273 00:15:12,510 --> 00:15:13,509 There's nothing left. 274 00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:15,570 There's nothing left for us to use. We should have grabbed something first. All 275 00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:17,930 right, plan two. Ray? Yeah. Pull that away. Give it to Gary. 276 00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:20,130 Oh, Ray. Stop mumbling. 277 00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:23,490 Stop mumbling now. Oh, I'm sorry, sir. It's my vertebrae popping. 278 00:15:23,710 --> 00:15:24,710 Oh. 279 00:15:24,910 --> 00:15:25,910 Oh. 280 00:15:26,230 --> 00:15:29,850 Oh. Oh. Shut up. It's my coccyx. Here we go. 281 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,230 That's it. Next one. 282 00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:33,730 The B team finally completes the call. 283 00:15:34,490 --> 00:15:38,410 Sandwich. The canteen was shut. We weren't out there that long, Ray. Four 284 00:15:38,410 --> 00:15:40,310 half hours. We did the job properly, that's why. 285 00:15:41,110 --> 00:15:42,110 Buttocks. 286 00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:44,650 Buttocks in a mouth. 287 00:15:45,370 --> 00:15:46,570 With pits of lips. 288 00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:48,629 In a mouth. 289 00:15:48,630 --> 00:15:49,630 Yeah. 290 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:51,830 What have you got there this time? 291 00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:54,630 Donuts, sir. From the canteen. 292 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:56,430 Right. Me and Bill smuggled them in. 293 00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:57,690 What? 294 00:15:58,150 --> 00:15:59,230 You are pathetic. 295 00:16:00,190 --> 00:16:03,310 Black market economy, nothing but gangsters. Thank you, sir. 296 00:16:04,210 --> 00:16:07,430 All I see is, like, big, like that. 297 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:09,970 Big buttons, like that. Big. 298 00:16:10,890 --> 00:16:13,650 Go on, slap them, right, slap them. 299 00:16:14,170 --> 00:16:15,170 Lovely. 300 00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:16,550 How much are they? 301 00:16:16,730 --> 00:16:17,730 Ten pound. 302 00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:19,250 How much? 303 00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:20,410 They are, Jen. 304 00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:21,750 Ray, come here! 305 00:16:21,970 --> 00:16:24,330 Yes, sir. When it slaps like that, the fat goes... 306 00:16:31,660 --> 00:16:32,579 Do you want to go home? 307 00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:33,580 I'm not doing that. 308 00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:39,920 How's your doing business with you? 309 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:45,560 Thanks. 310 00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:48,660 Sometimes I just sit on my chest like this. 311 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:54,520 It's like having two huge sacks of flour on my chest. 312 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,060 And I can't move. 313 00:16:56,380 --> 00:17:00,020 I think that's why I joined the police. 314 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,800 I don't trust no one, especially when there's a million people sleeping in one 315 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,640 room. You never know when they're going to come, do you? 316 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,920 So this is more like an indoor wind chime. 317 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,599 It gives me a bit of warning. 318 00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:15,819 That's why I've stayed alive so long. 319 00:17:17,180 --> 00:17:18,180 Don't you worry, 320 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,240 sir. It'll be so crisp in the morning, it'll walk down on its own. 321 00:17:36,940 --> 00:17:37,919 See what I mean. 322 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:38,980 You got that Mars bottle? 323 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,400 I'm starving. 324 00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:48,080 Just look at that. It's a pellet shape. What is that? It's horrible. 325 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,000 Delivery service, mate. 326 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,460 That coffee's working. 327 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:53,799 I'm good. 328 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,740 I was thinking she'd have a Snickers bar in a minute. 329 00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:57,900 Oh, 330 00:17:58,420 --> 00:18:00,840 that's disgusting, Bill. 331 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:05,380 Well, it's still in a wrap. I know where it's come from, mate. I want my money 332 00:18:05,380 --> 00:18:06,380 back. 333 00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:09,549 What's that? 334 00:18:09,550 --> 00:18:10,550 A finger. 335 00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:11,670 I know it's a finger! 336 00:18:11,930 --> 00:18:13,170 It's a dirty finger! 337 00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:16,810 And while you're at it, you can wash the toilet with a toothbrush! 338 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,000 That is disgusting. 339 00:18:40,340 --> 00:18:41,420 He's straightening up a bit. 340 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:48,400 Why are you waking your hands up, Snakey? Come on. Come on. 341 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,540 Come on. Come on. 342 00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:54,820 Come on. Come on. Come on. 343 00:18:55,580 --> 00:19:00,440 Just get out of the bucket. You've got three minutes to show. 344 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,420 Basically, when you start off, it's the spirit that leads the body. 345 00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:08,880 But eventually, as you move on progressively, to be a fully -fledged 346 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,180 city, you can fly. 347 00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:12,060 Physically fly. 348 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:54,260 Aware of the need for high ratings, the BBC is attempting to inject some glamour 349 00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:55,260 into the show. 350 00:20:19,330 --> 00:20:21,230 Wasn't it? Like a very young child. 351 00:20:21,510 --> 00:20:24,750 No, no, no. It's more like a ninja mongoose. 352 00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:27,350 You know, just as they're about to attack the snake. 353 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:34,250 That's too high a pitch. It was lower pitch as well. I've got perfect pitch. 354 00:20:34,930 --> 00:20:35,930 Yeah, 355 00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:37,249 that's it. 356 00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:38,870 It went down. 357 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:56,260 It sounded like someone was definitely in pain. 358 00:20:57,140 --> 00:21:00,360 It was all night, wasn't it? 359 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:08,160 The way you go, Amy. Well, I would be giving you a demonstration 360 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,460 on mouth -to -mouth resuscitation had I got my Respirator doll. 361 00:21:11,740 --> 00:21:16,300 But I can't show you because someone's taken it. Sorry, is that the doll with 362 00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:17,320 the mouth and the... 363 00:21:17,590 --> 00:21:20,370 Yes, it is. Have you seen it? Sorry, I don't know exactly where it is. 364 00:21:23,930 --> 00:21:24,410 And 365 00:21:24,410 --> 00:21:36,310 then 366 00:21:36,310 --> 00:21:40,750 literally pull the head straight, chin back, mouth open. 367 00:21:41,910 --> 00:21:43,690 Just gently squeeze the nose. 368 00:21:44,290 --> 00:21:45,970 Don't go near it. Don't go near it. 369 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,520 That is disgusting. 370 00:21:51,660 --> 00:21:58,060 This is a Redman, sir. It allows us to simulate a full attack without any 371 00:21:58,060 --> 00:22:00,020 or pain to the wearer. 372 00:22:00,260 --> 00:22:04,760 Now, when I leave the side of the wearer, I want you to fully attack him. 373 00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:06,220 All out attack. 374 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,560 Hold nothing back. You'll be able to handle that surely, won't you? 375 00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:13,020 Let's put your little helmet on there. 376 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,740 What's the matter with you, you bunch of wusses? 377 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,200 Come on! 378 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,000 Come on! 379 00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:28,980 Come on! 380 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:35,600 There's a bruise there. 381 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:40,920 Oh, yes, all right. It's a big bruise. Don't... I know where the bruises are. I 382 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,480 can feel them. Did I hurt? 383 00:22:43,140 --> 00:22:44,400 No, of course they don't. 384 00:22:46,260 --> 00:22:47,640 They only hurt when I breathe. 385 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:53,250 Right. As a team, you've nearly got all the points that you need to take you 386 00:22:53,250 --> 00:22:54,189 through the court. 387 00:22:54,190 --> 00:22:57,570 And I can compliment most of you on what you've done and achieved. 388 00:22:58,050 --> 00:23:04,290 But there's still one or two who are utter and complete 389 00:23:04,290 --> 00:23:07,050 crap. Listen, I'm not here. 390 00:23:07,710 --> 00:23:08,710 Right. 391 00:23:10,190 --> 00:23:13,950 As from tomorrow morning, oh, 900 hours, you'll be leaving the establishment and 392 00:23:13,950 --> 00:23:14,950 you'll be back on the street. 393 00:23:15,070 --> 00:23:17,070 But until then, you're mine. 394 00:23:17,610 --> 00:23:21,650 You are under my jurisdiction, the establishment and mine. Stop! 395 00:23:22,130 --> 00:23:27,730 And you will not eat, sleep, shit without my notification or my knowledge 396 00:23:28,070 --> 00:23:30,250 But String has other ideas. 397 00:23:30,730 --> 00:23:31,730 Yeah. 398 00:23:31,930 --> 00:23:32,930 Fantastic, mate. 399 00:23:33,150 --> 00:23:34,150 Yeah. 400 00:23:35,130 --> 00:23:36,130 What do you think? 401 00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:38,830 Give me that to you. You're confined to your dorm. 402 00:23:39,030 --> 00:23:42,710 For the time you're here now, you are confined to your dorm. I don't want you 403 00:23:42,710 --> 00:23:43,710 speak to anyone. 404 00:23:44,210 --> 00:23:47,350 Outside this perimeter of this campus. Do you understand me? Look, staff. 405 00:23:47,530 --> 00:23:48,970 Marilyn, do you understand me? 406 00:23:49,670 --> 00:23:50,670 Staff. 407 00:23:52,170 --> 00:23:54,310 Staff, don't put it in the bin. 408 00:23:55,830 --> 00:23:58,950 We've managed out there with a contract. Waiting to be signed. 409 00:23:59,350 --> 00:24:01,770 You're complying, mate. You're complying. I know, so you've got to help 410 00:24:01,770 --> 00:24:04,250 out there without getting caught. I don't want to lose your points or 411 00:24:04,810 --> 00:24:06,190 Streams, if we get caught, that's it. 412 00:24:06,450 --> 00:24:09,310 There's no operations at all. All the points will be out the window, mate. 413 00:24:09,550 --> 00:24:13,210 Look. When I make it as a big pop star, you'll be with me anyway. 414 00:24:13,430 --> 00:24:14,490 You can be my security. 415 00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:16,370 Tuck in, tuck in. 416 00:24:17,650 --> 00:24:19,270 You all right in there, Strings? 417 00:24:20,710 --> 00:24:24,210 Sorry, mate, you'll have to make do. All right. We'll leave you here, we'll come 418 00:24:24,210 --> 00:24:26,650 back and get you, yeah? Don't forget to come back, will you? Of course not. 419 00:24:26,710 --> 00:24:27,629 Don't be too long. 420 00:24:27,630 --> 00:24:28,750 All right, keep it down, son. 421 00:24:28,990 --> 00:24:30,530 Good luck, Strings. Cheers, bones. 422 00:24:31,390 --> 00:24:34,790 Strings' new manager arrives for the secret meeting. In the box. 423 00:24:35,090 --> 00:24:36,009 You're in the box? 424 00:24:36,010 --> 00:24:39,310 Yeah. Hey, what is Cumberland doing here? I have a contract. 425 00:24:39,710 --> 00:24:42,090 I have contract. Quick, because they're coming back for me. Okay, I pass 426 00:24:42,090 --> 00:24:45,510 contract through, and there is contract. 427 00:24:46,310 --> 00:24:47,810 Contract is in your fingers. 428 00:24:48,490 --> 00:24:49,490 I've got it. 429 00:24:49,510 --> 00:24:52,290 All right, now you sign contract, Richka. 430 00:24:52,790 --> 00:24:54,130 It's not very thick, is it? 431 00:24:54,590 --> 00:24:58,050 No, but it's something else thick for you I have. 432 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,740 What I can say is that they've come as individuals and I've forced them into a 433 00:25:01,740 --> 00:25:03,540 team. And now they'll work as a team. 434 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,400 And as you can see by the point that they've mounted up, obviously some have 435 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,340 done so well, but most of them have really flew. 436 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,200 And like I say, I mean, you know, they're working together. So I'm quite 437 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,200 with the result. 438 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,540 You sure that camera light doesn't bite us? No, it's good. 439 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:17,459 We can't be seen? 440 00:25:17,460 --> 00:25:18,460 No. Right. 441 00:25:19,220 --> 00:25:22,940 This is a very, very, very important mission. We've got to be like ninjas in 442 00:25:22,940 --> 00:25:24,660 night. And I'm the officer in command, OK? 443 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,760 Not like... You can't really get in the red shirt. Do you understand me? Let's 444 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:28,599 get on. 445 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,600 Where'd you come from? 446 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:31,520 How'd you find us? 447 00:25:32,060 --> 00:25:34,980 Saw the camera light out there. What are you doing? You said we couldn't be 448 00:25:34,980 --> 00:25:35,980 seen. 449 00:25:37,380 --> 00:25:38,520 We're going on a mission. 450 00:25:39,700 --> 00:25:41,240 You can't do that. That stuff will kill you. 451 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:42,459 Bullocks and stuff. 452 00:25:42,460 --> 00:25:44,340 You're either with us or you're against us. What's it going to be? 453 00:26:26,260 --> 00:26:27,260 Yeah, 454 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,280 well I think as a team, I mean, they work quite well together. 455 00:26:40,570 --> 00:26:45,930 There was one or two individuals who really, you know, stopped a lot of 456 00:26:45,930 --> 00:26:48,170 happening, which was Beech for one. 457 00:26:48,930 --> 00:26:52,990 Ash. Well, Ash as well, yeah. I mean, you know, he needed a little bit of 458 00:26:52,990 --> 00:26:53,990 prodding. And bones. 459 00:26:54,390 --> 00:26:57,610 Well, he's physically inadequate, really, bones. I mean, he's got to lose 460 00:26:57,610 --> 00:26:58,610 little bit of weight. 461 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:35,680 On their return to camp, Gary is in danger of losing the team their hard 462 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:36,680 -earned points. 463 00:27:39,050 --> 00:27:39,989 Get moving. 464 00:27:39,990 --> 00:27:43,070 Come on. Stay in another week. 465 00:27:43,330 --> 00:27:46,970 Try and shut me up! 466 00:27:47,770 --> 00:27:49,290 Get him in there. 467 00:27:49,990 --> 00:27:51,610 Do what that bitch tells you. 468 00:27:52,790 --> 00:27:54,690 Drastic action is needed. 469 00:27:56,070 --> 00:27:57,850 I will not be... 470 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:03,160 No, no, Marcel, I've not witnessed any bullying or racism in the 20 years that 471 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:04,139 I've been at the college. 472 00:28:04,140 --> 00:28:08,600 And I want to make it abundantly clear, there is no bullying or racism in 473 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:09,600 today's police force. 474 00:28:09,820 --> 00:28:12,100 We can't leave him like this, sir. I know, I know. 475 00:28:13,140 --> 00:28:14,920 Gary, Gary, you're going to lose your life. 476 00:28:38,670 --> 00:28:41,550 two Hollywood stars come to see the good guys in action. 36333

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