All language subtitles for my_boys_s02e08_jack_bobby

Jack flew in from New York, okay? He
took me to this cool little Italian

in Wicker Park. We had this bottle of
wine.

And... And then we went to this little
blues place and we, um... We

danced. You danced?

I know. Me.

To blues.

Huh.

Can I see a little bit of what that
looked like? Yeah, I think it's best for

both of us if I don't. Well, so now
what?

Oh, God, I don't know.

I don't know. I mean, I really want
Bobby to have a great wedding, and I

have fun with his brother Jack.

Maybe it just doesn't have to be more
complicated than that. No, who cares

Bobby thinks about it? I don't. So
you're not going to tell him, are you?

just that he has so much on his plate.

Hey, what are you guys doing here? I
thought we said no poker.

Brando said it was okay.

Is it okay? I have to pack.

You know I can't not play poker.

I know.

That's why I invited him to play poker.

What about you, Bobby? Don't you have,
like...

Getting married stuff to do?

Elsa kicked me out.

It's like you're already married. No,
no. She said she wanted me to go out and

relax. She says I'm tense.

Hey, I need cash from everybody.

Oh, no.

I left my wallet in the car.

It's great. It's great. Now I have to
walk outside and down the stairs and do

the whole front pocket.

Okay,

dude.

Anything we can do to help?

Yeah. Yeah, could you work on keeping my
father sober and making sure he doesn't

embarrass me or make my mother cry?

Is there anything we can pick up for
you? Maybe some light errands?

No, no, but thank you. Oh, so your buddy
John is definitely going, right?

Because I made him a CD of some great
local bands.

You made him a mixtape?

No, it's for our bar.

You know, it's just some suggestions of
some music that I think he's really

going to like. So it's a mixtape?

Hey, high school crush, we're going to
play poker or what?

Ooh, what's wrong with him?

Oh, his ladies found out about his plans
to meet someone new at the wedding, and

they both dumped him.

Finally, some decent gossip.

Kenny, I'm sorry.

Me too.

No, no, man.

Weddings are the perfect place to
rebound. So many sad, pretty girls

that their time's running out. They'll
fall into the arms of the nearest guys,

and that's going to be us.

So you're using Bobby's wedding just to
hook up? Hell yeah, it's the only reason

I'm going.

I can get behind that.

There's no reason I can't have a fun
romantic time with Jack, while Bobby has

lovely wedding. I mean, look at this
place.

It is ridiculous here. Is this all
yours?

This is unbelievable.

Yeah, now I see why you had me sign a
prenup.

Hey!

Chicagoans, welcome to California.

Hey, Dad.

I love a wedding.

Uh, you guys, this is my father, George
Newman.

Hello again, Mr. Newman. Oh, please.

Call me dad.

You can call me daddy.

Well, that would make sense since I'm
half your age.

I like her.

Where's your mother?

She's coming in tomorrow. She had some
benefit.

Yeah, she hates me. Yep, she does.

So, Mr. Newman, you like horses?

No, I'm deathly afraid of them. But the
ladies love the hat.

My, my.

Hello, Mrs. Newman number six.

You don't want that one. She's evil.

Well, that's the way I like him.

Like Vino?

You guys, I'm so, so sorry about him.

Who? Daddy?

Oh, no, come on. He's hilarious.

Oh, yes, he's hilarious. He keeps joking
that he wants this to be a double

wedding, except it's not a joke. And now
someone has got to save Stephanie.

Where's Jack? I need Jack.

Right here.

What's up, little brother? Hey, I
thought you were on dad patrol.

I am.

He's harmless. Just laugh at everything
he says and eventually he'll fall

asleep. And Bobby... Oh, Dad!

No, Dad!

Welcome to the insanity that is the name
of Daniel.

Hey. Hey.

I had a really good time at that blues
place.

Did I dance?

I believe you did.

We both did.

You also sat in on Harmonica.

I did? No.

But now the dancing part doesn't seem
nearly as humiliating, does it?

This place is incredible.

What are you looking at the place for?
Look at the Swedes.

It's on.

The Kenster is going hunting tonight.

Really? Seriously?

Who's the Kenster?

Those girls are cute.

Yeah, they're pretty.

Excuse me?

Well, they're pretty, but aren't you a
little old to be playing with girls?

Wow, this is fun for all ages.

Pace yourself, Mike. It's going to be a
long weekend.

Oh, check out Haas here.

Howdy.

Howdy? Really? Are you trying to repel
women?

Just you.

Howdy, howdy, howdy.

It's not working. It's embarrassing.

Well, Bobby's dad says howdy. Well,
Bobby's dad is rich.

He can say whatever he wants.

Fine. I won't say howdy. And no hat.

Makes your puny little head look even
punier.

Puny's a terrible word.

Hey, guys.

Hey, buddy.

Everyone's ready. I can show you your
room.

And then after that, we have the welcome
wine tasting, followed by the welcoming

barbecue. It's all printed in your
welcome package.

We just really want you to feel welcome.

Come on.

Hey, eating candy will still feel
welcome even if you miss the welcome

tasting. Maybe. Who'd want to make the
welcome barbecue?

Hi. Hi.

Um, look, I don't want to keep you from
the welcome whatever they have planned.

I just really wanted to do this.

Oh, wait, Jack.

I was thinking, it might be better if we
didn't tell Bobby about us. You know,

it's his wedding, and he's just got so
much going on. I just... Yeah, that's

fine. He doesn't need to know.

Wait, why? Are you embarrassed of me?

Yes, totally.

Because I don't think that's very funny.

Seriously? Can you stop talking?

Jack!

And that's why they call it California.

That is a fun fact.

What's up?

Have you guys seen, like, 20 Swedes come
by?

No. I think I've lost half of Elsa's
family.

Already? They just got here. Couldn't
have gone far. They are a slippery

Okay, that was too close.

30 ,000 square feet. I think we could
have a little privacy.

And that's why California cheese is so
dense.

It's okay.

She knows.

Good cover, though. Never would have
guessed.

Dude, wine tasting is really just a
classy way for people to get day drunk.

I hate wine. Can I get a beer?

All right, then fill it up.

Keep it coming.

Come on. Come on.

Do it. Do it.

There you go.

Like I said, classy.

And then Dad proposed, and I laughed.

He wasn't joking.

Did you tell him he was a great guy,
but?

No, I told him he was weird and creepy
and to take his hand off my knee.

See? That's all you gotta do.

Jack,

could you go corral Dad, please? He just
hit on Elsa's mom.

Well, at least she's age -appropriate.

Yes, except she's married to Elsa's dad.

You know how Dad is when he's been
drinking.

Okay, just stop letting him get you so
crazy. I know, but can you just get him

out of here? Yes, I will talk to him
after we finish this pinot.

Right. He could be married by then.

Maybe you should help him.

Way beyond help.

Plus, my dad, he's harmless.

He's harmless.

I said no.

Stop proposing.

Excuse me.

Kenny. What are you wearing?

My lucky flip -flops.

Even after four glasses of wine, you
still repulse me.

You have to change your clothes.

What? Why?

Because if you ever want a woman to be
interested in you again, you need to

listen to me. Why are you helping me?

I'm in the most beautiful location I've
ever been to.

Surrounded by lush vineyards and
beautiful mountains, and all I can see

ugly, lucky flip -flops. So you're doing
this for you?

Of course, sweetie.

Well, good luck, son. Pretty sure this
one likes the ladies.

What? What?

What'd I say?

It is so great to have you and your
brother back here. I really miss those

vacations where we used to beat the tar
out of each other.

Yes, those were the days.

Who won?

You know, it's really not important.

We were just kids. Kids wrestling.

So Jack won. Every time.

Well, not every time.

Thank you. Sometimes you bit me.

Now, come on, when?

Scar right there, see?

Look at his little bobby teeth marks.

Well, he was 22.

Okay. Okay, what about this one? You
remember that? Your archery set?

Dude, that's nothing.

Hockey stick.

Beer bottle.

Wendy.

Oh, man, you made it real.

Still don't like it, but I need a
refill.

Oh, I love that year.

Perfectly aged. Really an amazing blend.

Yeah. Who doesn't love an old wine
blend?

You know nothing about wine, do you? No,
I'm more of a beer guy.

Well, the thing about drinking wine is
savoring the experience, not rushing to

some finish line of being drunk.

See, that's where it loses me.

Oh, there's a white over here that if
you really sip it and savor it, it kind

tastes like beer. Really?

No, it's wine.

You're in a vineyard. This isn't
Milwaukee.

You know, Milwaukee is actually the New
York of Wisconsin.

A lot of people don't know that.

So, I think I'm going to go lay down for
a bit.

Sleep off some of this wine.

Well, you can't lay down.

If you nap now, you're done for the day
and you'll miss the barbecue.

You've got to power through.

Change your shoes. Take a shower, but no
napping.

Come on, Brendan. Any respectable day
drinker knows that.

Look, I just want to close my eyes. No
napping!

No one should be alone.

Everyone find a no -nap buddy.

Buddy.

Excuse me.

I need someone to make sure that I don't
go to sleep.

Huh.

Yeah, I could do that.

Hey.

I never got to finish showing you around
the property.

Oh, yeah?

Well, judging from the size, that could
take like a month.

How do you feel about meeting me over by
the guest house?

Can you be more specific?

It's on your welcome map.

I've got good news and bad news.

Good news is, I think I may have met
wife number six.

Sorry, ladies.

The ship has sailed.

Unless, of course, you feel like you
have second thoughts.

Bon voyage.

Um, Dad, what's the bad news?

Oh, the bad news, yeah. The minister
called. He can't make the ceremony. He's

got kidneys, though.

No, no, the wedding is in two days.

That is okay. We will just find another
minister.

Well, we better make this happen because
Anna could be so upset if we can't work

this out.

Have you seen Jack?

No. I have no idea where he is. Yeah, of
course not, because whenever I need

him, he's not around. Man, I asked him
to do one thing, and he couldn't even

stop Dad from hitting on Elsa.

Wait, wait, wait. Your dad hit on your
fiancée? Yes, he said he didn't know it

was her. He said they all look alike to
him.

Well, maybe you should be mad at your
dad and not Jack.

I just want him to be a little more
helpful. You know, he's my best man, and

would be nice if he started acting like
it. All right, well, is there anything I

can do? If you wouldn't mind marrying my
dad, I think that would take a lot of

the pressure off.

Well, the question is, could I live with
the hat?

No, man, I'm not being a baby. I'm
allergic to bees. All right.

Hey, man, what you doing?

Just having a snack.

Alone? Yeah.

Just a guy having a snack.

Cheese. Nice.

Yeah, that's really dense California
cheese.

Strawberry chocolate campaign, and it
was how to pack a picnic. All right.

Brando, you want one? Oh, come on.
What's my name, baby?

Jackpot. Fence of chocolate.

Thank you. Oh, hey, handsome.

I like this look.

Thank you. Is it true you don't look
disgusting?

Well, you don't look like crap either.

You know, you could learn something from
this.

What? This? No, no, no. I wore this for
John. Inside joke. Oh, I had a message

from John. He's actually stuck in
Chicago. It doesn't look like he's going

make it out here. No.

Yeah. Sorry.

Man, we're going to steal the bar deal.
Well, you're just going to have to

cruise for chicks like the rest of us.
You may want to change into something

nicer.

Okay.

Hey, where is everybody?

Naps. I tried to warn them. You can't
save guys.

And where's Mike?

Oh. I'm sure he's on his way. No chance
he'd close his eyes.

What is this? I don't know, but it
tastes expensive.

Hey. Hey. Hey, buddy.

Hey.

We're so happy you made it. Hey. Hey,
there he is. Place makes me feel poor.

That's what my dad said, too.

Hey, Andy.

Hey. All right.

There's no luck on the minister.

I did find a rabbi's wife and a doula.

Okay, what's a doula, and can they marry
us? No idea, and not in California.

Our minister got kidney stones, so we're
searching for a new one. No, I'm a

minister. I'm a candlestick maker. I'm
president. What are we doing?

No, I did one of those online church
things to marry these friends of mine

ago. So legally, I can marry people.

You're kidding. That's awesome.

I should find out if my certificate is
still up to date, but... Uh -oh, what if

it's not?

Well, then we got a big problem, because
I think it cost 12 bucks to renew it.

Judging from this shack, I don't know if
you can afford it.

We'll work it out.

Thank you.

Uh, what happened to you?

I was waiting.

Oh, my God, I am so sorry. We had a
little crisis.

Oh, man, I have been looking for you
everywhere.

I'm right here. What do you need?

Well, I needed your help. We were trying
to find a new minister and... We found

one, right? And it's going to be okay,
right?

See?

All fixed.

Bobby, you need to take it easy.

Have some fun. Enjoy your wedding.
Right, PJ?

Oh, look.

Teeny tiny hot dogs.

Get out of town.

You almost found them, right?

Nah. Probably turned the ground some
hot.

If we could kind of gather around, we
wanted to do a little toast.

Thank you so much for coming. I can't
tell you how happy we are to have you

here.

Yes, yes. Thank you all for being here
for our very special occasion.

It's not that special.

Dad's done it five times.

All right, come on, guys. Relax, okay?
I'm just trying to lighten things up a

little bit. It's just where we started.

Stop it, please.

Okay. Sorry.

I just thought, you know, it's a
wedding. It's supposed to be a

right? So, you know, fun.

So... Oh, no, okay. Just, sorry.

Go ahead. Do your thing.

Huh. That's weird. You're being rude and
insulting.

Usually you're such a gentleman. Oh.

Really? I'm the bad guy? We're trying to
get you to loosen up? I don't need to

loosen up.

Obviously. Looks like you're having a
great time, Bobby. I would be. I would

if you would stop talking.

Okay. Great. All right. Give your little
speech there, skinny. Oh.

Oh.

Wow. Sorry, Elsa.

It's okay. No, you know what? It's not
okay. It's fine. She's got some wet

okay? It's all right.

Loosen up, buddy. Can you get your arm
off of me? No, buddy.

No, no. I'm serious, okay?

What is your problem?

Really? Okay.

Whoa!

Wait! Wait! Oh, my God.

50 bucks on Jack. I'll take that bet.
Somebody do something.

Oh, let him fight. It's good for him.
Buddy.

Buddy.

You okay?

Of course he is. He was winning.

Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm just a little embarrassed.

Let's just go upstairs, okay?

Okay.

I'm sorry, everyone.

That was awful.

All right, I'm going to go talk to Jack.

I'm going to fix this.

Yeah, yeah.

How's she going to fix it? Why would you
listen to her?

And what'd I tell you about prying?

That no one likes a nosy Nellie. Then
don't be one.

Wedding checklist.

Wear bad bridesmaid dress.

Drink too much tequila. And oh, get in
the middle of big family fight.

I have not had enough tequila.

That was stupid, huh?

Kind of.

I don't know what happened. I was just
making some dumb jokes, you know?

He's so sensitive.

Well, you know, it's his wedding, and...
Wait, do you think it was my fault?

Well, I actually don't really think it
matters whose fault it is. I just think,

you know, it's his weekend, and he's
probably entitled to be a little

right? So you do think it's my fault.
No, you're not listening to me. I'm...

I am listening to you.

Yeah, you know, and I've heard this my
whole life.

It always happens whenever we get
together.

You know, something goes down, it's
always Jack's fault. It's always poor

Bobby and his big bad brother Jack.

It's a classic.

Well, Jack, I think you're actually
being a little dramatic.

I'm being dramatic?

Okay. Sorry for that. Look, I really
appreciate you trying to help, but you

can't change Newman family history.

Wait, what are you doing?

I'm removing myself from the drama.

Wait, come on, stop packing.

PJ, trust me.

Things will be a lot smoother if I just
leave.

No, but that's not what I'm saying.

Jack, don't leave.

Tell Bobby good luck.

You see, this is why you should hook up
with someone you're never going to see

again.

I mean, why do I have to make things so
complicated?