All language subtitles for my_boys_s02e02_dinner_party

Friday night. All over the city, people
are out on dates.

But why would I want to do that when I
can do this? Yes!

You're trapped, Mouse!

No, no, this feels good.

We're almost 30 and we're playing a game
that says recommended age 3 to 5.

Yep, life is going according to plan.

Hello, friends.

As you know, the Franklin home employs
the small but necessary staff. We have a

gardener, a dog walker, a maid, and now
a nanny.

A super hot Swedish nanny. Wait.

Exactly how hot?

She is unbelievably gorgeous.

Like, the world smells sweeter. The sky
is bluer. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

We all know that Andy's gauge of hot has
always been way off.

What are you talking about?

Katie Couric.

Come on, you guys don't see it?

Oh. My.

God.

Elsa! Over here.

Hey, Andy.

I have your kids.

Thank you so much.

Elsa, this is my sister PJ.

Hi, Elsa. It's nice to meet you. You
too.

And this is everyone else.

Hello, everyone else.

Where are you from in Sweden?

Stockholm. Oh, gosh, I really want to go
there. I hear it's beautiful.

Isn't it? Yeah, especially in the
summertime.

Summer? I didn't even think about
summer.

Well, um, I should get going.

Bye, Andy. It was really nice to meet
you, everyone.

See you back at the house.

My house, where you live.

With me.

Oh, my God, Andy.

I would kill you if she asked me to.
You'd be justified.

Sweden just let her go. Sweden is dumb.

Is she good with Savannah?

Who cares?

My God, you guys, she's pretty, but come
on, get a hold of yourselves.

That reminds me, do you guys remember
when she was here?

Yes.

And while

some

of us are in a rut, one of us is in a
groove.

So as of this morning, three different
publishers are interested in the book.

Stephanie, that's fantastic.

It's amazing what you can get done when
you swear off TV, men, and Internet

shopping. Well, I'm thrilled for you,
and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I am

totally jealous.

And did I tell you that one of the
publishers is considering signing me to

three -book deal? Oh, my God,
congratulations.

Let me tell you, it can all be yours if
you gave up men.

Oh, yeah, believe me, I'm close.

Italy didn't work out, and here I am,
back in the same old cycle.

Same old people.

Yeah, you need to expand your horizon.

Hey, you should have a single dinner
party.

You know, you invite your single friends
over, they each bring a single friend,

romance ensues.

Not a bad idea.

Oh, my God, last night, I had this
dream. I was, like, 70, still single,

hanging out with the guys.

Oh, sweetie, I've had that dream about
you, too.

A dinner party? Come on, you can't be
serious.

Why not? It could be fun.

So basically what you're suggesting is
that we all come over to your place and

sit around your table and not play
poker.

No, because we would all bring a single
friend.

See, now what you just described is all
of us plus five dudes you've never seen

not playing poker.

That doesn't sound good.

Too many dudes. Who needs?

Please. Come on, you guys. We've got to
try something different, something new.

Oh, my friend Beth.

She's playing guitar tomorrow night. How
about that? Anybody want to come? Dude,

you've got to find yourself a boyfriend
to drag to these lame events.

That's what the dinner party is for.

All right, if none of you guys are going
to go to that, at least one of you guys

can come to this.

All right?

Drop Ratzel.

Ha!

You win. You get to go.

What? No, how is that winning? Tomorrow
night, 8 o 'clock. Don't be drunk.

Oh, fine.

But in the future, there's an easier way
to convince people to do things. Watch

this.

Awesome. I won.

What'd you win? Nothing. You can't go. I
wasn't asking to go. I just want to

know what you won.

Ticket to an awesome concert tomorrow
night, but you're not invited. Okay. Why

is Mike using his weird reverse
psychology thing on me? My friend's

guitar at a coffee shop tomorrow. You
want to come?

Sure. It could be fun.

Puppet master.

Keep it coming. Ooh, you keep it coming.
Not afraid of drowning.

Keep it coming. Ooh, you keep it coming.

Underwater I can breathe.

Not bad, not bad.

Yes, you guys like them?

No, but they're cute.

Really cute. And talented. Here they
come.

Talk me up. Hey, TJ, you made it!

You guys are great.

Thanks so much. This is Margo. Hi. Hi.
PJ.

These are my really good friends. This
is Kenny. This is Mike.

Hi. Nice looking.

You guys were great, honestly. Kind of a
female Simon and Garfunkel with a tasty

urban flavoring. Oh, thanks.

PJ, I'm so bummed. I wanted to hang out
and catch up, but we have a photo shoot.

Oh, wow.

When am I going to see you?

Gosh, I don't know.

PJ's having a dinner party. That's
right.

A fantastic dinner party. You should
invite your friends.

Yeah, Friday night.

I would love it if you guys could come.

Sounds great. Okay, I'm in. Oh, but not
to be annoying, I don't eat red meat.

Neither do I. Hate it. Oh, I love it.
I'm just allergic.

Yeah, me too.

I'm psyched. We'll see you Friday.

Great, great.

Have a good shoot.

Oh, so now you like my dinner party.

Hey, it's a win -win. You know, you get
your precious dinner party and we get

dates. Fine, I'll set it up. But you
realize you have to bring someone for

I figured I'd bring Mike. I'll bring
Kenny.

No. You know what?

If you guys cannot come up with one
decent man, I will torpedo you both so

your head will spin.

Torpedo me how?

The pillowcase underpants story. The
video of you lineman thing. Oh, the time

you made your own self -tanner. I can
bring Jake. No problem. I actually, I'm

going to call somebody tonight. I can
find a guy on the corner.

Say, if I had a nanny like that, I would
quit my job and I'd stay home just to

be with her.

Dude, if you quit your job, you wouldn't
need a nanny.

Okay, let's not overthink this.

Hello? Hey!

Dude, what are you doing here? Why
aren't you home staring at your nanny?

God, you guys, it's awful.

It's just horrible.

Oh, no, what happened? It didn't work
out? No, she's still there. That's the

problem. Turns out she's not just a hot
sweep.

She paints. She loves jazz.

She's teaching the family Tai Chi. What
a nightmare.

It is a nightmare. Because I have an
involuntary need to impress this woman.

It's awful.

I find myself pretending to be debonair
and intellectual.

I eat healthy.

I mean, it's been days since I've gotten
drunk and watched Point Break.

Please, being debonair is not that hard.
I'm this far from being Cary Grant all

the time. You literally have a pound to
dip on your chin.

Oh, that reminds me. The dinner party's
back on. Bobby, Brendan, you guys in?

I think I'm busy. Me too.

You guys aren't busy.

You're just waiting to see if something
better comes along.

Come on, you guys. I'm just trying to
shake things up here. They don't want to

come. They don't want to come. PJ,
there's no reason to badger them into

to your dumb dinner party.

Smooth, you guys.

Hey. You guys remember when Elsa was in
Crowley's? Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Hello?

Hey, Andy. Hey, Andy.

What are you doing here?

Oh, you know, I just came by to visit
with Savannah and Meredith. I mean, I

haven't seen them in so long, you know.

Savannah's at her friend's house, and
Meredith is... What have you done with

Meredith?

Hi, honey. Look who just showed up at
the back door.

Well... Hello, Robert.

Brendan.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I just brought by some chocolate and
an army knife.

Mm, no.

Sweden.

Too bad you guys weren't here an hour
ago. You could have done yoga with me

Elsa. Oh, shoot. Next time. Yeah, next
time. Yes, well, I had to stop and get

this poetry collection by Charlotte
Estrogran.

Oh, I'm not happy with that translation.

Me either.

Life is so much better since we moved
back to the city.

Andy is like a new man.

I'm always improving.

So, Elsa, how long have you been in
Chicago?

A few years.

I got my degree from the Art Institute,
and I absolutely just fell in love with

the city. Well, if you ever want to see,
like, Wrigley Field or the Chicago

Club, I would be more than happy to show
you.

Or, or, or, you know, the city's got
some great nightlife.

I could take you to a blues club, or
there's this great fondue place

Is that it? Nope.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to go
and pick up Savannah.

And I should get ready for dinner.

Oh, we're having steamed vegetables and
quinoa.

Yum!

It was so nice to see you guys.

So hungry.

Ooh, I have a bag of Cheetos taped to
the back of the toilet.

So, it's you, me, Kenny, Mike, and your
two friends?

Oh, yes, and one mystery man.

Ooh. Okay, the mystery man is for me,
not you. I know. I'm just excited that I

get to watch three blind dates. I mean,
for a woman that's sworn off men in TV,

that's a pretty good night. Yeah, and
this night might bring some of us out of

long romantic slump.

Hey, you look nice.

Thank you. What's she doing here?
Please, watching you on a blind date? I

buy season tickets if I could.

Oh. I never got a chance to talk to you
about Beth and Margo.

Is there one of them you like?

I think they're both nice. I figured
I'll see what Mike does and go from

What do you mean? You're going to let
Mike choose for you? No, don't worry.

get in there.

I'm like a Honda. Not too flashy, but
dependable.

Mike's like an old convertible Mustang,
you know? The girls think it's going to

be fun, but the truth is it's two
tickets from a boot. It's missing

smells like french fries.

Used to be the cool car in the
neighborhood.

Now it's the eyesore in the front yard.

That's when they come back to the Honda.

Andy, what are you doing here?

I can't go home.

Well, we're having a dinner party.
There's only so much food.

You don't even know I'm here.

You're avoiding Elsa.

I can't take it anymore.

I got caught in a Charlie Rose lie.

There's so many balls in the air. All
day long, I have to act professional.

And all night long, I have to suck in my
gut and act mature.

I'm exhausted.

I need a break.

Fine, fine. You can stay. Great.

I'm going to go meditate.

I mean...

Pee. I can say it here, can't I?

Hey, everybody.

Hey. Hi. Hey, this is my good buddy,
Chris.

Hi.

Thank you for coming, Chris. Thanks for
having me. You know, it smells delicious

in here. Are you cooking eggplant?

Yes, I am.

Well, I could not be more psyched. I
think I smell, what, sage and marjoram?

Impressive. You have a great nose.

And shoulders.

Want to see what's cooking? Grab a glass
of wine? Sounds good. Okay, I'll follow

you.

Who's that guy?

I barely know him. I play basketball
with him.

Hey, let's talk some strategy.

Sure.

Okay, here's what's going to happen.
When the girls get here, I'm going to

a few minutes chatting them both up. I
will then choose a winner, at which

I will signal you and you get the loser.

What do you think?

Sure. Great.

Hello?

Hello.

Hey, thank you guys for coming.

You brought wine.

Oh, wow. Thank you so much. So nice. Oh,
thank you. I want you to meet some

people. This is Stephanie.

Hi. Chris.

Kenny. Hi, I'm Mike.

Hi. We met the other night. How are you?

Hey.

Hey.

After you guys did the thing with the
guitars, right? How are you? Good. Hi.

You both look lovely. Are you thirsty?
Want a little wine? A little bit? Kenny,

why don't you grab some wine for the
girls? Sure.

Thanks. I'll have some wine, too.

And a beer.

I see you dressed for the party.

I was just going to wear a robe, so
you're welcome.

So, Chris, where'd you learn how to
cook?

Well, my grandmother mostly, but when I
worked at the station, I picked up a

lot. Station?

I was a firefighter for about ten years.

And you don't do that anymore?

No, I took a really bad fall.

Ended up getting 40 stitches in my
shoulder.

You know what? Here, here, fill this
car.

Oh, ouch.

Let me feel.

Ow.

So anyway, now I'm finishing up my
degree in veterinary science.

Bad day means I get bit by a cute puppy.

You are adorable.

Yeah, you mind if I use your restroom?

Oh, yeah, sure. Down the hall, first
door on the left.

You're adorable.

Really? Well, he is.

My God, I just want to break him in two
and suck out the middle.

All right, Steph, put it back in your
pants.

If you want to go after him, that's
fine. Just let me know, because I'm

trying to have a nice dinner party here,
and it's kind of hard to do that if

everybody's fighting over who gets who.

Ewan, what's going on?

My girl's broken. So what do you want me
to do about it? Give me yours.

I'm just saying you guys are the perfect
level of attractive.

I mean, you're good -looking, but not so
much where I feel uncomfortable around

you. Well, that's sweet, kind of. And
wildly offensive, kind of.

No, you know, like, um, Monica Sellis.

Now, him, on the other hand, I can't
even make eye contact.

Are you drunk?

Getting there.

We can't just switch girls. Why not?

Because it doesn't work that way. Plus,
I'm having a really good time talking to

Beth. I thought I was talking to Beth.

You're an idiot.

Dude, just switch with me, please.
Switch with me, please. Switch with me,

please, please, please. Oh, my God. You
might just want to switch. He's not

going to quit.

Fine. I'll switch with you. Thank you.
Now, what can you tell me about the

girl? Beth. It's from Milwaukee.

Her father's a dentist. She just got
done backpacking in Nepal.

When she was 11, she had the hiccups for
two months. Okay, got it.

What can you tell me about Margo? I
don't know. She's crazy. You've been

to her for ten minutes. You haven't
learned anything? She's a crazy zombie.

luck.

Balls, dude. Brendan is here.

Please, of course, to my Honda.

Tough, tough day at the station today,
man.

A huge fight broke out over whether or
not Billy Ocean was considered adult

contemporary or smooth R &B.

I'm like, who's Billy Ocean?

Did not go over well.

Hi, I'm Chris.

Oh, hey, Brendan. Good to know you.

Brendan, what you doing here?

Well, I live here, and I thought you
guys were my friends.

Yeah, you just said you weren't coming.

No, no, no, no. I never said either way.
Well, there just isn't enough food.

Oh, my God.

Marco is laughing. She thinks Kenny is
funny. What's wrong with her? How's Mike

doing? I'm not good.

Beth looks like this.

Wow. Two girls are into Kenny.

Dude must be in the love zone.

It's a... Lesser known Billy Ocean hit.

Yeah, would you excuse me? I'm just
gonna... All right, girls.

So what's the 411 on Brendan?

Uh, regarding... Was he in the choir?

Gay?

No. Damn. All the good ones are either
straight or taken.

Who wants more red wine?

I'm okay.

Oh. My.

God.

Mike brought us a gay man.

Hey, when's dinner? There's too many
people.

FHB. No, no FHB. Yes, FHB. Okay, what's
FHB? Whenever the Franklin family has a

large event, there's never enough food.
So we have to institute an FHB, a family

holdback. Meaning, make sure the guests
get plenty to eat before the family

eats. That's not fair. I'm a family
guest.

I don't know what that means.

PJ, you gotta help me.

Put in a good word with Beth and Maggie.

Margo? Whatever.

They think Kenny is the catch.

Someone's got to tell these blind idiots
what is what.

Somebody's got to explain why they
brought a non -viable man to a setup

Yeah. What are you talking about?

He doesn't know. Know what?

Chris is gay.

What? No.

I play basketball with him every
weekend. Dude.

They think you're gay.

I am.

Do you have a problem with that?

No.

You're gay?

Does the rest of the team know? Mike,
it's a...

Gay League.

Dude.

More wine.

So those ladies seem to think that
you're pretty funny.

Yeah, I told them I'd rather dance with
a panda bear than eat a Brussels sprout.

What does that even mean? I have no
idea, but they just laughed and laughed

laughed. All right, you guys, dinner's
ready. Could you please just step into

the living room and let me finish up? I
think we might want to wait.

You can't be yourself enough for me.
That is so unfair. He's clearly into me.

No, he's not.

You're just dominating the conversation.

Oh, God.

I am mortified.

So sorry, PJ.

Barely know you would make a big scene.

I should go.

Call me, okay? Seriously.

Margo?

Margo?

I'm sorry, PJ. I should really patch
things up with her. I'll call you later.

Yeah, no problem.

Bye, Kenny.

Kenny is really cute.

Don't.

Way to go, Yoko.

Broke up the band.

Guess that's it for the dinner party.

This is really delicious.

People left.

FHB lifted, right?

Why are you so hard on yourself?

You lost a couple women to Kenny. Who
cares?

You will not speak of it. Can we speak
about how you set your female friend up

with a gay guy? You know what? I'm just
a little off my game, okay? I just need

to shake it off. Hey, how's it going?

Oh, my God.

Has that ever worked?

I'm in hell.

Welcome to my world. I can't even go
home.

Hey, the girl just gave me her number
out of the blue.

What a range of pores, huh?

I'm happy for you. Really? No.

Oh, my God.

Who is Bobby with?

Oh, I don't believe it. I can't believe
he brought her here.

Although that means she's not at my
house.

Hi, guys.

Hi, everybody.

Hey, Andy.

Hello. Elsa, who will I see that day?

Tita poor clocking.

Bobby?

Close the bar. My house just became
pants optional.

So, Bobby, can I get you something to
drink?

No, no, no, you sit. I'll get it. No,
don't be ridiculous.

How about I surprise you? Okay. Yeah?
Sounds great.

Anyone else?

Very good.

So, well played, sir.

Well,

PJ made the point that we are all
single, and I just thought I'd get out

and mix things up a little bit. So thank
you, PJ.

My pleasure.

You know, Bobby, I didn't peg you as the
hot young nanny type.

Who isn't? My entire basketball league.