All language subtitles for My Boys s02e04 Spit Take

We all get so entrenched in our everyday
lives that sometimes any change in

routine can really be a disruption.

Those are all pre -orders for your book?
Yeah.

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

What's your book about?

Oh, it's a guide to help women get out
of bad relationships.

It's called You're a Great Guy, But...
But what?

No, that's the title. You're a Great
Guy, But... But what?

Like, you're a great guy, but you wear
fedoras.

Yeah, or you're a great guy, but you're
cheap.

Yeah, or you're a great guy, but you're
an idiot.

Oh, I guess it's like you're a great
guy, but you're not a great guy.

You're Mike.

Yeah. Well, whatever.

253 ,000 women have already bought her a
book, and it's not even out yet.

Oh, my God.

Hey, how many do you have to sell to be
a relationship guru?

Oh, I think like a half mil.

So until then, I'm just a humorist.

All right, well, I'm going to go. All
right.

All right.

See you later, Pete. Talk to you
tomorrow.

See you, poopy. Bye.

Why'd we turn on each other there? I
mean, when she's around, same team. I'm

sorry. I panicked. I'm sorry.

Under my skin. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I
apologize. I'm sorry. Okay.

Where's Brendan?

Brendan!

What? Deal me in.

Sometimes people deal with change by not
dealing.

You can't play from the couch. Come on.
Join the class.

No. I'm too tired.

Just tell me what I have.

Two tens.

Okay. Raise.

But not too much. Dude, you don't sound
good. You sure you're not getting sick?

No, I'm not sick.

Just depressed.

Life going poorly.

All right, well, I'm going to re -raise
your tens with my king.

See?

Hi, Al.

Sorry I'm late.

Hey, what's up, Annie? Want a drink?

Yeah. And I'll have some nuts.

You're smiling creepy.

Is everything okay?

Yeah. And you have a stain on your
shirt.

What are you talking about? Yes.

And I'm a Virgo.

Who had today in the When Andy Goes
Crazy pool?

Winner. I'm practicing my improvisation.
My teacher told me to always say yes

and in scene.

Being agreeable makes life easier.

Since when are you taking improv
classes?

The firm is paying for the class.
They're supposed to make me more

better in negotiations.

Because there's nothing tougher than a
lawyer who won't stop agreeing.

Joe took the class, loved it. You're all
about your cool new friend, Joe.

Joe told you to jump off a bridge, would
you?

Yes, and I'd take you with me.

Oh, I did this improviser in college for
a few weeks. It was a nightmare.

He kept doing this.

Oh, God!

He thought it was hilarious.

He was wrong.

Wrong, Kenny. Wrong.

Thanks. Well, I'm liking the class.

The only bummer is I'm the only lawyer.

It's me and a bunch of actresses half my
age.

Yes, and I'll be taking that class with
you. And it costs 300 bucks.

How many girls?

I don't know. Eight?

Eight to 300.

Do it. Seems cost efficient. It's good
value. I'm in. He's good.

Brando, you got eight three of clubs.

Pull off.

He's all in.

Call me after, I guess.

Okay, bye.

Hey, guys.

Hey. Hey, what's up, Bob? No, I just got
off the phone with Elsa. There's maybe

a problem with her visa.

You're kidding me. No.

She might not be able to keep working in
the States.

Dude, that sucks, man. Wait a minute. So
this means I need a new nanny? Yeah,

maybe. She's calling Meredith right now.
Well, I gotta be smart this time. I

gotta find a nanny that's as good as
Elsa, but looks more like Kenny.

So you're looking for a cross between
Kenny and Elsa?

What?

Why's everybody looking at me?

Sometimes a disruption forces you to
come up with a way to deal on the fly.

To improvise.

Well, it's official. Elsa has to leave
the country for two years before she can

work here again. Oh, no, that's
terrible. I'm sorry.

Man, it's amazing. I finally meet
somebody that I really like, and she's

deported. Oh, well, you could do the
long -distance thing until she gets

Yeah, but would that ever really work
out? I mean, let's be honest. It's just

lot of phone calls that are like, what's
wrong?

Nothing. I miss you. I miss you, too.

Why are you getting all quiet?

Because I'm tired. It's 4 a .m.

Before you know it, she's telling you
about hiking with her new best friend,

Olaf, and how she and Olaf did the
funniest thing of their day. Wait a

Who's Olaf?

Oh, you'll see.

You would build up some serious frequent
flyer miles.

You know, people don't know that they
can use those miles for other stuff,

shoes or a popcorn maker or shoes.

What's wrong with you? I don't know.

I am not right. Dude, you are sick,
okay? Just go see a doctor.

No. No doctors. No doctors?

What are you, a wounded bank robber? My
health insurance got canceled.

Got no choice.

Gotta go to Dr. Brando now.

No.

Who's Dr.

Brando? The doctor that lives inside his
head.

Yeah. Went to Harvard Medical School.

Inside your head.

Whatever, dude. It's Harvard.

Anyways, Brando's self -diagnosing,
usually using the internet, and the last

time he did it, it did not go very well.

He diagnosed it correctly. It was a
sprained ankle. Yeah, and Dr. Brando

you buy that supermarket cane, and your
ankle healed wrong. Aha, but it did

heal. Harvard.

Hell yeah.

Okay, great. Let's hold it up right
there. Really, really good job,

Very well done. As you can see, pass the
clap.

is an excellent way to warm up the group
mind.

Hey, last time I passed a clap, she
wasn't that happy.

This guy gets it.

Okay, hey, how about we do some scenes,
huh?

Caitlin, why don't you stay up, and
Andy, want to give it a try?

Okay, we'll do two -man scenes.
Everybody else, take a little break

Excellent. We're going to do an open
scene. All right, you just make the call

and begin.

Looks like it might storm, Florence.

Excellent way to set the mood.

Yes. And we should take the test board
in from the veranda.

Wonderful, Caitlin. The Union Army's
guns are close.

Just go with it. The Army's coming.

That's a mighty tight corset you're
wearing there, Florence. Mighty tight.

Now, Grandpa, get back down in the
basement.

And scene.

Okay, really, really wonderful space
work. Both of you, actually. Excellent

justification, Andy.

I have a question.

I'll talk to him later.

Oh, my God, what is that?

Dr. Brando wanted me to drink as much
green tea and garlic as possible.

You guys have green tea? No.

What were you doing in that fireman
scene? I was making a pizza.

I totally thought you were carving a
pumpkin, but it still worked.

Hey, Mike, how was your improv practice?

It's called rehearsal, and it was really
good. You have to come see our first

show. Our class performs Saturday night
from 720 to 745.

Wait a second, you're going to perform
in front of people, Andy? Yeah, Joe is

right. This class has made me so bold
and confident.

Hey, I'm going to take this chair. You
guys aren't using it. Thanks.

We don't even need this chair.

Well, yeah, just promise me nobody
pretends to walk into anything.

We can't promise anything. We make it up
as we go along.

Well, I don't think I can make it. Dr.
Brandon wants me to stay home and have a

good sweat.

Yeah, he'll be happy you're getting a
head start.

Well, I'm coming. I'll bring Beth. She
loves improv.

Beth is still going out with you? What
kind of crazy mojo spell did you cast on

this poor girl? Did you ever think that
maybe she just likes me?

No. Okay, just for that, when they ask
for a location at your improv show, I'm

going to say Scotland.

It's the hardest of all accents.

Oh. No, it's not.

There's a banshee on the moon.

Nailed it.

Hi, guys. Hey.

Hey, Andy.

Hello, Elsa.

Yes,

we did. Thank you.

Elsa, we're really sorry. We heard...
Oh, um, don't be sorry.

We have some great news.

We're engaged.

Really? Yeah!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Finally a reason to buy some shots, huh?
Thank you. Congratulations.

Oh, God.

Oh, honey.

We should call my parents.

They'll be waking up by now. Yeah, sorry
to toast and run you guys, but I'd

rather not have bar noise when I call
her dad and ask for his... And it's

Close. Okay, bye, guys.

Bye. Bye.

We're so happy for you. You guys make a
great couple.

Well, there's a disaster written all
over it. Seriously, he barely knows her.

mean, I don't mean to be a cynic here,
but it does seem sudden.

Yeah, I'm worried.

It worries me. I mean, she knows he's
loaded.

He should get a prenup. Well, there are
only two possibilities.

Elsa is marrying Bobby to get a green
card so she can stay in the country,

It's 1941, and Bobby's going off to war.

Come on, you guys. Look, Elsa's awesome.
Bobby's the most level -headed dude we

know. Don't we trust him to make his own
decisions?

No. Brando, you're delirious with fever.
Okay? This is stupid, and it's rash.

I mean, it's an insane thing to do.

You know, she's not from this land. She
doesn't know our customs.

Uh, she's from Sweden. Not the future.

Okay, well, all I'm saying is somebody
should talk to him, you know,

Make sure he knows what he's doing.

Agreed. I nominate PJ.

Second. There's a third possibility.

Bobby's pregnant.

So what do you think?

Oh, my God.

Stephanie, this is so cool.

I mean, I just love the drawing of the
woman because she can climb a ladder and

eat cake.

Um. Stephanie, this bio says that you
live in a house made of recycled tires

Portland? Mm -hmm.

And whose dog is this?

I don't know. It's all part of the image
of my nom de plume.

Okay, you know that means pen name,
right? Not life story of lies?

Is that... Are you taking care of
someone's bird again?

Ugh, Brando.

Dude, your sickness is starting to stink
up the entire apartment.

Light a candle.

What is with the ice pack?

Oh, Dr. Brando prescribed ice on the
belly. But I thought you had a flu, and

never heard of ice helping... Belly ice.

Ice, ice, ice.

Ah.

So what's going on with Bobby?

You know if he'll set a date yet? Who
knows?

I'm trying not to indulge all of that
insanity.

Why are you so down on them getting
married, anyway?

Because people don't get married just to
stay in the country.

Okay. A, see green card.

And two...

Maybe they're really in love. Please. I
think somebody's letting their Bobby

issues get in the way.

Bobby issues?

You got Bobby issues?

I don't have Bobby issues.

Ooh, let's go watch some improv.

Yay! No, no, no, no, no. PJ, come on,
come on, come on.

Talk to Dr. Brando.

Fine.

I asked Bobby to Italy.

To see if maybe there was a chance for
it. I knew it. But it wasn't meant to

And I am actually totally cool with
that. And that has nothing to do with my

feelings about him getting engaged.

Okay, fine. Not nothing to do with it.

Does Bobby know any of this?

No.

Well, PJ, look, you've got to tell him
the truth, okay? This is a major life

choice he's making here. He needs to
know all of his options.

I agree.

And I am a guru.

Half a million?

Oh, yeah.

Hey. Oh, my God.

Dude, your breath. Oh, sorry. Yeah, I
grew mold on bread and ate it.

Why? Penicillin.

What? I just saved 80 bucks.

Hey,

you guys made it.

Hey, yeah, I wouldn't miss it.

You guys remember Beth?

Hi. I'm so excited. I'm nervous for you.
Are you guys nervous?

Oh, God, I just love improv. I can't
believe you make it up as you go along.

What if it's horrible?

I just got nervous.

Actually, we need to go warm up.

Can you save a seat? Yeah, Meredith is
coming. No, my buddy Joe might drop by.

All right, let's hear it for our
students from level one.

I can't believe we're stuck up here in
this Ferris wheel.

Martha.

It's romantic up here.

All right, easy.

So,

I need a location.

It's not public, it's vacation.

We're too low.

Pull your shoes.

I already did.

You gotta dance.

You wanna dance?

Freeze.

Freeze.

I'm sorry to say the same. Oh, I know. I
couldn't say for me.

You know what? It's for my brother's
friend, Joe.

Yeah, I know. You're PJ, right? I'm Joe.

You're Joe.

I'm PJ.

This is Joe.

Okay, we need a first line of dialogue.

Oh,

Joe's the woman.

I heard, oh, Joe's the woman.

Great, huh? All right.

It felt like it just came together. Did
it feel like it was written?

No. No, it didn't seem written at all.
No, it didn't?

Uh -uh.

It was just a great show, Anne. Really?
Yes. Thanks for coming.

Yeah, and it was really nice to meet
you, Joe. I mean, Andy has told us so

about you. Thanks. It's really good to
meet you, too. Yeah. Was that a great

show? It was a great show.

Great show.

Makes you realize how much I miss that
class.

Hey,

let's do an improv.

Show continues.

It is hot here in the middle of the
jungle.

Yes, and I am an explorer.

And you are my assistant in the jungle.

Yeah, my knife is ringing.

That's good. I've got to take this. Oh,
and it was getting good. We've got to

sing. Yeah, yeah, no, that was good.
Yeah, oh, it's nice to meet you both.

I'll see you at work. I'll walk you out.
I can't believe Joseph Sheen. I can't

believe I watched a 20 -minute scene
about it.

You don't have to order a beer. I
brought one for you.

Look,

fake beer.

I'm actually thirsty.

Oh, well, then perhaps my lady needs a
hearty mug of mead.

Pie,

can I get a beer?

Dude, great show.

Oh, you too. That was so fun, wasn't it?
No, we're theater people. We hug.

Oh, all right. You were great too,
Caitlin.

Oh, thank you.

Our scenes always have such great
chemistry. I mean, I think we should try

taking it off stage, don't you?

Yes, I do. And?

Um, listen, Mike, you're a great guy,
but I don't think of you in that way.

You're just a little old for me.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

And scene.

Way to give me the old guy character
again. That was great. That felt like a

real rejection.

Great show!

You guys did that whole song in a sink!

I laughed so much, S. Kennedy. She did.

Well, I'm going to go to the loo,
laddie!

Told you.

Who needs? You good? No, no. I need. I
need lots, actually. Hey, I saw you in

the audience.

You did?

Yeah, you were the one who yelled out
Reagan Library at the location, right?

Yeah. That was such a good suggestion.

Thank you.

What's happening?

You're a really great audience member.

Should have seen me watching Rambo.

That's a show.

Oh, my God. God.

So funny. Yeah, thanks.

Of course, most of the Gilligan's Island
references were lost on Elsa, so I'm

pretty sure as a result she had a better
time than I did.

Yeah.

Yeah. So, speaking of Elsa, let's talk
about

Elsa.

Wow, that took you about a minute.

Did they nominate you to talk to me? How
did you guess?

I've been in on that vote before.

It's always you. Always me.

It just seems so fast, you know? I do.

And, you know, her visa expires at the
end of the month, so that definitely

pushed the issue a little bit, but we
both feel really ready for this.

Yeah, but have you really thought this
through? I mean, it's such risky.

Risky? Well, it's a huge life decision,
right? And Andy was telling me that if

INS finds out it's fake, you could go to
jail.

But it's not fake.

Right, I know.

But if INS really, like, looked... But
PJ, it's not fake.

Well, so, I mean, she's really, like,
the one?

I mean, how well do you know this
person?

Really well.

You've only been... Okay, I know she can
reference poets that I've never heard

of, you know? And I know that she sings
this funny German nursery rhyme with her

dad at the end of their phone calls,
and...

I know that she has a tiny little
birthmark right there that looks like a

Snoopy head.

It's amazing.

I know she's afraid of bees, which I
think is adorable.

And, you know, I know that I love her.

And listen, I know that from the
outside, it probably looks like a really

thing to do, and I appreciate the
concern. I do.

But, you know, when you feel this way
about a person, you gotta just go for

You know, you gotta seize the moment and
say Geronimo.

Great news.

I've got shingles.

That's great news?

Yeah.

Yeah, I know what it is. I googled
burning rash around the midsection, and

shingles. Now I can treat it.

Buddy, no offense, but your face kind of
looks like a sweaty volleyball.

Oh.

None taken, dude.

Now, according to internurse .com, all I
got to do is eliminate stress from my

life, and it goes away.

I think shingles is pretty serious,
okay? It can spread.

Okay, okay, okay. Shh.

All right, you're not helping my stress,
okay? Now I'm going to borrow your

Calming Pond Stream CD, Dr. Brando's
orders.

So, listen, do Elsa and I have your...

You know, a blessing.

Wow.

If there's one thing I learned about
improvising, it's that sometimes you

have to say yes.

And?

Geronimo.

Geronimo.