All language subtitles for Monarch Of The Glen s05e09

Is she there?

Yep.

Five pages.

Why not to blink? Don't worry. Does that
blink now?

Never done that before, so... Lexie
MacDonald, Glenn Bogle's first lady

Relax. Don't look too serious. That's
good. Don't feel very relaxed. Perfect.

Just put my hands here. Good. Since
taking over, Lexie has raised the

sleepy Glenn Bogle.

Not too much, Mary. Okay.

Visitor numbers are climbing left, Lexi,
because you've given the place a wake

-up call.

Turn back the other way.

Turn just a little bit more. Good girl.
That way.

Sorry.

Lexi's house has its own special
ambience.

Ambience.

I couldn't mean the fire engine.

Vogel has been drafted to call her the
Queen of Glen Vogel.

That's lovely, Lexi.

Gorgeous. Lexi, with her customary charm
and elegance... Is that the magazine?

Let's have a seat.

The Queen of Glenbogle.

That's not me.

It is now.

Good morning, Your Majesty.

I got the big beat.

I got

the big beat.

I got the

big beat.

Enjoyed it in your job?

Still trying my head round it all.

This kitchen's bigger than my whole
house.

I just baked this.

Want to try?

It's an olive bread with onion marmalade
on top.

It's a whole lot better than your taste
in music.

Come on, Lexi, watch this.

Now you're in the kitchen, man.

Here she comes.

Morning. Hi, Marie.

You're out of your mind.

Stop that.

I never said any of those things.

I only did it to raise the profile of
the place. And attracting more visitors

can't be a bad thing either.

Well, there'll be no shortage of those
over the next few days.

Exactly.

Right, okay. Any questions?

What is a clan gathering?

It's when the clan...

For what?

Something McDonald's have a compulsive
urge to do every five years.

And this year is going to be the best
year ever.

Now, the first of our guests will be
arriving very shortly.

I thought they weren't coming till
Saturday.

Well, some people like to make a weekend
of it. You know, it's the highlight of

their social calendar.

How sad is that?

And I don't want anyone going away
disappointed thinking that I can't cut

a laird.

But I can't do it all on my own.

More's the pity.

Molly, now, you have to tell me who
people are.

I'll do my best, but they're nearly all
called McDonald.

Ewan, I need you to sort out a delivery
of fuel for the range before Saturday.

I don't see why we have to have caterers
in.

I'm the chef.

And it is your first week, so don't try
and run before you can walk.

Now, Paul.

Where's Paul?

He had to go over to the distillery.

Again?

He does take his responsibilities as a
board member very seriously.

Especially when it involves leaving with
a certain chairperson.

Right, let's go.

Charles, how lovely to see you. And you
too, Molly.

There, where's the host?

Have you not met Plessy?

Hi. Hello.

Archie's abroad, so I'm standing in for
him.

I'm gathering without a Laird.

Unconventional. Well, you've got me.

Temporary acting Laird. But you're not a
Macdonald. I was the last time I read

my marriage certificate.

I beg your pardon. Charles Macdonald of
Castle Macdonald.

Proud to be at your service.

You don't have to kneel.

It's traditional when greeting the new
Laird. Oh.

For a moment there, I thought you were
going to ask me to marry you.

Well, I like to observe the proper
etiquette.

Yeah, well, I'm sure you'll keep us up
to the mark.

Nice car.

My cases are in the boot. Will you have
them taken up to my room?

Thanks for coming with me.

Couldn't face it on my own. Oh, it's a
pleasure. Well, not a pleasure, but, you

know.

So that's my dad.

Not very dignified, is it?

Have you got any plans for scattering
the ashes?

Well, I sort of had an idea.

I wanted to talk to you about it.

Beautiful, isn't it?

I came here a couple of times with my
dad when I was little.

I remember him building me a sandcastle.

He used to love fishing here.

Did you do a lot of stuff together?

Not really.

Not enough, anyway.

I went away to boarding school when I
was 12.

Are you an only child?

Not a son, though.

Was that a problem?

I think it was for him.

I always felt somehow I'd let him down.

That's why I'd like to get this right.

This place was so special, it wouldn't
be perfect.

When do you want to hold the ceremony?

My aunt and uncle are staying with me
this weekend, so if I could ask people

Saturday... There's something going on
up at the house, but I'm sure that'll be

fine.

Thanks, Paul.

You'll have to do me a favour in return,
though.

You'll be my guest for dinner tonight.
It's part of this clan thing.

I'd love to.

Good.

What am I supposed to say?

Oh, sorry, folks. I know I've only been
in charge for five minutes, but I've

lost our oldest heirloom.

I promise that I'll find it.

Please.

What's wrong?

I've lost the quiche. You know, the
loving cup.

It's been used at every clan gathering
since... Well, since there was a clan

gathering.

Lexie's so determined to make the whole
thing a success.

I just can't... I think where? I would
have put it.

Well, we looked in the cellar.

Ah, now that is a good idea.

Thank you, golly. I don't know what I'd
do without you.

Are you sure you can manage to get one?
I've got a sore shoulder.

It's such a big wound.

All right, wonder woman.

Ah, but, er, there was a minute and a
half to get that done.

What?

Well... I was thinking about us. I mean,
you and me.

We make a pretty good team, don't we?

At work, I mean.

Yeah. And we're friends. I mean, good
friends.

Yeah, no, definitely a really good
friend.

So I was wondering, well, hoping,
really.

Jess!

Jess, I need you to help me move the
wine in the cellar.

All of it?

McDonald Quake might be there. Molly's
looking for it.

Oh, cheers.

You can do that, Leto.

Come on.

Of course.

Can't keep Molly waiting, can we?

Yeah. Come on.

Ah!

So this is where you've been hiding.

Sorry. I still have an estate to run.

You don't have people to do that.

I wish.

Well, I've had a good look round.

The Wolf Park, the Visitor Centre, the
climbing school.

Your husband certainly has a vision.

Yeah, well.

I had some help.

You're managing all right, are you?

A prestigious event like this, it's a
lot for a young woman like yourself to

take on.

Yeah, I can manage.

I even have some ideas of my own.

Really?

Yeah, well, this year, our guest can
take home a Macdonald clan -gathering

commemorative video.

I've hired a film crew for the weekend.

Hardly the most traditional keepsake.

I just wondered if you shouldn't be
paying a wee bit more attention to the

event rather than wasting your time on
all these fripperies.

I'm sorry?

This is not a criticism, but the clan
banner on the flagstaff is flying upside

down.

Right, well, yeah, I'll make sure
someone goes up and changes that.

That's perfectly understandable.

You're new to the family.

I'm more concerned with the welcome
message in my room, and I assume those

the other guests.

You ran it off on your personal
computer, did you?

Yeah. It would describe stay off.

There are two spelling mistakes, three
errors of historical fact and one

grammatical infelicity in the final
sentence. There are some points.

Again, not your fault.

I had the benefit of an education at
Gordonson in Cambridge.

Oh, lucky you.

Well, I'll keep my eyes open and report
back if I notice anything else, I bet.

That would be very kind.

Not at all.

See, when you're in the army, they teach
you that thing where you can just kill

a man with a single blow.

No, we had guns.

Oh, shame.

No, I am going to act like a laird. I'm
not going to let him get to me.

I'm going to be refined.

I'm going to be polite.

Oh, aye.

Well, like three days anyway.

Oh, what can I do for you, sir?

Amanda wants to scatter her father's
ashes on the loch this Saturday.

But that's when we're having the clan
banquet.

Yeah, I know, but I'll be up at the
house where she'll be at the phone of

law. Yeah, yeah, OK, but I've got so
much on my plate this weekend.

You take care of it?

No problem.

It means you'll get to spend more time
with the man, that.

Oh, I can hack that.

What?

Just friends.

It really isn't here.

It must be.

Well, but I've found it by now.

It must be completely out.

You're right.

I'm so sorry.

Archie sent the cup to London to be
cleaned and repaired. I'd completely

forgotten. Oh, can't he send it back?

It'll never be here soon enough.

We'll just have to do without it. I'm so
sorry to have wasted your time.

That's not a problem, Molly.

Anyway, we'd better get this load moved
back.

After you tried so hard, Dad.

Where's the chef?

Who's asking?

I'll break it, pal.

You're talking to him, pal.

No, I mean the chef.

What's the problem?

I'd like to review the menu for this
evening.

You're joking. No, it's important you
serve the correct fare.

Correct fare? A dinner, not a bus.

Mrs Macdonald has asked me to supervise.

Well, actually, she's put you in charge
of me.

Menu, please.

Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

Could it happen to anybody, Molly?

Hmm?

Oh, sorry.

Miles away.

Somewhere nice, I hope.

The past, happy place.

Seem to spend more and more time there.

No wonder it's familiar, comfortable.

Future, now, that's a different matter.

Uncertain. And exciting.

Maybe.

You mustn't blame yourself, Molly, for
the quay. I feel such an idiot not

getting it sent from London.

All the years I've been here, there
hasn't been a Macdonald event without

Time for a change.

Children's christenings, remember?

I remember.

I remember the three of them screaming
so loud you could hear them in

Cairnlochan.

If I spent a little less time thinking
about the past, I wouldn't have

the blessed thing in the first place.

OK, well, dinner will be served tonight
and you've got plenty of time to explore

the estate tomorrow. And if you need
anything, then just ask.

Unbelievable. You spend 300 quid on a
mobile.

It can send video and tell you what the
weather's like in Kuala Lumpur. But can

you make a phone call?

Those are your film people, dear.

You know their face.

And their name's on the tip of your
tongue, right?

Mike Baxter.

Hi, hi. I'm Lexi. You're very sexy,
Lexi.

And you can call me Mrs. McDonald.

Now, you're late, so you probably want
to get started.

Maybe get some pictures of people
arriving?

Darling.

Please. I did have my own late -night
show in Grampian. Just you leave all

technical stuff to me and my crew.

You go ahead and enjoy your party and
pretend we're not here.

If you'd like something to eat first
with some food in the kitchen.

Oh, that's very kind. I'd like to get
set up before we break, please.

Get a few candid reportage shots, OK?

Only got a half kit, so don't expect
miracles.

Look, um...

I don't want to spoil the party, so to
speak, but there is one thing. I've had

few budget problems. We might need to
talk about that.

No, no. We made a deal.

I give you behind -the -scenes access to
a historic clan gathering, and then you

get to keep whatever you make from
selling the film to McDonald's around

world. There won't be any film if I
don't cover my costs. I thought we could

a sponsorship deal.

Well, you thought wrong.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a
guest arriving.

Right. As I said, just pretend we're not
here.

Brian! That'll be your film crew,
pretending they're not here.

You off somewhere?

London. Going to collect the quake.

You're kidding.

I'm gathering it wouldn't be the same
without it, and I could be down here

tomorrow morning and back the day up.

Dad, I've got cool incentives that do
that.

I'd rather do it myself.

I want this to be a surprise for Molly,
so don't tell her where I've gone.

OK, what if she asks?

Well, just tell her I'm working the far
side of the state or something.

And listen, you behave yourself.

Like there's a whole load of waste of
misbehaviour in here.

You know what I mean.

I told you, there's nothing going on
between me and Duncan, OK?

Yeah, let's just keep it that way.

OK, that's me.

See you tomorrow.

Or Saturday.

I know why you're doing this.

It's not for the sake of the clan.

It's for Molly.

Maybe you should tell her that.

I'm not changing the menu, and that's
that.

What's going on?

He doesn't like our menu.

What's wrong with the menu?

Pastor.

Why, have we run out?

Potatoes, porridge, oat cakes and rolls
are all acceptable carbohydrates for the

clan gathering.

Pasta is not.

With the McDonald's, not the Corleone's.

OK,

OK. I don't want to disappoint anyone.

Ewan will serve boiled potatoes with the
salmon tonight.

What? And throw all this away?

Yes. Can you just do it, please?

I don't want that to be included in the
film.

I don't believe this.

OK, problem solved.

Now, anything else, Charles?

As a matter of fact, there was.

Laganmore whisky.

Would you like a wee dram?

I'll just get you a glass. Certainly
not.

You do know that the distillery is owned
by the MacLeish family?

Yes, we do have a feet on the board.

And it's even worse than I thought.

Do you know nothing about the history of
the clan?

Obviously not.

There has been a feud.

between the MacDonalds and the
Macleishes for 400 years.

Your predecessor, the Seventh Laird,
swore a solemn and binding oath. From

day to this, we've been at war.

Well, I did not know that. But nobody
takes that stuff seriously any more.

Well, it's mattered to 12 generations of
your adopted family. It should matter

to you.

Let's go and beg him, son.

I'll have it.

Golly!

He's gone to London.

Right, around David Beckham.

He has?

Did you see the pick -up outside?

Golly doesn't do travel.

Except as a surprise for Molly.

We're supposed to keep it a secret,
though.

Aye.

So, are you doing anything this evening,
then?

No, nothing at the moment, I haven't.

Good, because then I could come round
and visit you. I mean, keep me company.

Unless, of course, you want the place to
yourself.

No, no.

Well, that'd be really nice, yeah.

Well, you know, I might see you later
then.

Maybe.

Bye then.

Yeah, great upstairs -downstairs vibe.

Don't worry, most of it ends up on the
cutting room floor.

Want me to cut?

Cut! Who are you? I can do with a cuppa.

Paul, I need a word.

Come here. No, in private.

No, no.

Like your man said, he's late.

I'm sorry, Paul, but there's only a few
people.

They're scattering ashes, not dancing
the conga naked.

I know.

Look, there's this thing between the
McDonald's and the McLeishies. A feud.

I don't know much about it, but we're
supposed to respect it. And with all

people from the clan here, I'm sorry, I
just can't let her do it.

It's got nothing to do with them.

You're the lad, it's up to you.

I don't want to stop her, but I have to.

Come on, can you not understand that?

No, no, what I say is this clan thing
getting out of hand.

It's tradition, OK? It matters to our
guests because they've grown up with it,

with being a McDonald.

I mean, we haven't. So what do I tell
Amanda?

Look, nothing.

I'll talk to her, OK?

If she was to ask you nicely, you'd
probably invite her whole family up

Hey, I've told you, we just... Right, I
know.

Is it out of focus?

No. Your eyes have just glazed over the
boardroom.

I don't know why I imply you.

Because I'm the only camera on the left
north of the border who'll work with you

after that incident in Scotland Report.

Hi.

Oh, how's it going?

We've started to write the BAFTA
acceptance speech already.

Best thing we've done since day in the
life of the Crankies.

Can I have a look?

No, no, no. Best to wait until it's all
cut together.

We're just about to take a break.

That's right.

Union agreement.

My hands are tied.

What have you done?

Never looked like this when Golly's
here.

It's not like it.

No, it's great.

Someone smells good.

Not you, the cooking.

Not that you don't smell good. What I
mean is that you... I think you smell...

Shut up.

You know what I'm trying to say?

We don't often get the chance to be
alone together.

We have now.

Two and a half hours it's taken me to
find this place.

Have you given directions?

No one told me.

Fine here.

It's a self -inflation job, so I'll
leave that to your husband.

No, I'm perfectly capable.

No need to ask who wears the trousers
here, eh?

Are you calling me a wuss?

Don't worry, Duncan, I'll let you help.

What is it?

It's a washing machine.

Dad is going to kill me.

Do you know that he still washes all of
his stuff by hand?

He didn't see why we need one.

Come on.

I just want to go through to the
shoreline. Dinner will be there shortly,

Right then.

See you.

See you.

Hi, Manta.

Have I come to the right place?

Yeah, well, it depends.

Paul invited me to dinner.

Oh, did he? Sorry, Mum. I never
mentioned it.

So, yeah, well, more the merrier. This
is for you.

It's a lagging mower, single motor.

And I had the special sleeves made up in
memory of my father, you know, for

Saturday. Oh, yeah.

Actually, I wanted to talk to you about
Saturday.

I am so grateful.

I know that maybe you and I didn't get
off to the best start, but I hope we can

put all of that behind us now.

You've been such a good neighbour,
letting me have my ceremony here. It

lot to me. Yeah, I know.

Me and my dad might not have always seen
eye to eye, but at least now I can say

goodbye to him properly.

Anyway, you wanted to talk to me.

Yeah, no, I just wanted to say, well, if
you need any help, then just ask Paul.

Oh, thanks. I will. Do you want to go
through there? I'll see you in a bit.

Who told you?

I'm changing my mind.

Look, Amanda Finn can go ahead as long
as none of the other guests find out

about it, especially Charlotte
MacDonald.

Will you explain that to her?

She doesn't need to know, but... could
steer the conversation away from the

subject this evening at my help.

So, I say thank you, let's see if you
need your girlfriend in to drink.

She's not my girlfriend.

Would you allow me to trot you in?

Um, yeah, yeah, of course. Just give me
a moment.

Don't worry, I won't say a word. You
don't want us to have the good stuff at

party.

Who's the instructions?

Don't worry about it, it's okay. You
don't want to spend the whole evening

putting a washing machine.

That's only ten minutes, and you know
what you do.

I will kick in with Garth.

Or would we be? This was a kicker.

You must visit Castle MacDonald.

Oh, that would be marvellous.

Who knows? We might even have the clan
gathering there one day. No, no. It's

always been at Clem Bogle. Oh, of
course.

But you know, it's the clan that decides
where the gathering is to be held, not

the laird.

Castle MacDonald would be available.

Tell me...

Who's the young blonde lady over there?

I don't recognise her.

That's Paul's girlfriend.

Amanda MacLeish.

She runs the Lagamore distillery now.

How interesting.

Yes! Oh, sorry.

Don't worry, Duncan.

It happens sometimes.

Leave it. I'll call the plumber
tomorrow.

I'm not going to let that thing beat me.
Duncan, you've spent nearly two hours

on it already. Come on.

I'm nearly there.

There's the picture of the horse thing
again.

Maybe it's supposed to be the other way
up.

Right.

I'm going to get this thing cracked.

Even if it takes all night.

I'll go and read my book.

There are ten McDonald's coming from
California.

The famous people.

Dolly the sheep.

Her last interview.

Are you finished with that?

Are you enjoying the meal?

Personally, I'm not a great fan of
farmed salmon, but by the by, why are we

sitting down to eat with a member of
Clan MacLeish?

Amanda is a friend of ours.

And an enemy of your family. I did
explain about your responsibility.

Yeah. Yeah, she did. She was already
invited.

Excuse me. If there's a problem, can we
sort it out between ourselves?

The McDonald's and the MacLeish's have
been sworn enemies for over 400 years.

Charles, it's neither the time nor the
place for a history lesson.

Oh, I couldn't agree less.

Well, all I know is that back in the
Middle Ages, MacLeish's used to rape

women and steal your sheep.

Maybe it was the other way around.

And the McDonalds gave as good as they
got. But we all hung up our claymores a

long time ago.

Well, that's the MacLeish point of view.

Look, can we drop this?

You are a guest in our house.

And you, Mr. Bowman, are a guest of the
McDonald clan gathering.

In my personal opinion, it's never wise
to talk to MacLeish.

They're all liars, cowards and cheats to
a man.

Or a woman. My father told me about
this. He said it was all a lot of

Well, then your father is a fool.

Will you excuse me, please? Amanda

has

just lost her father.

Okay.

We have liftoff.

Let's see what this baby can do.

We have a problem.

Chet?

Chet?

What about dinner?

Morning.

What time is it? It's quite late.

I've got a bit of an alarm last night.

You should be all right.

Yeah, it's all right. What's going on?

Watch out.

Who's that?

Oh. Oh.

Oh, sorry, sorry.

I was looking for Golly.

One of the guests wants to go fishing.

They were coming about.

Dad being hit by a car? I think he meant
to track it down.

Oh, well, if you see him, tell him I'm
looking for him.

Oh, no.

What?

I shall tell him as soon as she sees
him.

That we were drinking tea.

Where does that look like that?

He'll go ballistic.

That's his problem. No, believe me, a
ballistic golly is everybody's problem.

See, the thing is, golly trusts me. And
if he thinks for a minute that I was

running round behind his back... Duncan,
we haven't done anything behind his

back. Yeah, I know.

Yeah.

Do either of you need a lift up to the
house?

Looking for something?

Marmalade. It usually comes in a jar?

I prefer the coarse variety.

Well, you won't find any in there.

Or were you really after the whiskey?

I beg your pardon?

Hands off, pal.

This is reserved for the function
tomorrow.

Function? You mean the banquet?

No.

I mean for Amanda and her guest up by
the lock.

It looks like you won't be getting any.

I don't much care for your tone.

And I don't like people stealing booze
from my kitchen.

Are you calling me a thief?

Away and raffle your doughnut, pal.

Duncan! Are you sure you don't mind
storing the whiskey here?

Of course not.

I'm supposed to be meeting my aunt at
the station and I have to get to the

toilet before it closes.

Hold on.

I put the ashes from the urn in here.

I couldn't stand that plastic thing they
gave us at the undertaker.

I suppose it's kind of appropriate.

But it's to lose his whole life.

And now... You go. I can sort everything
out up here.

You've got enough to think about.

And I'll even provide some food for your
guests.

I can't ask you to do all that.

It's no problem. Leave it to me.

Do you need a trolley?

I can manage.

Not a word.

Can I ask you to take the ashes as well?

It would be one less thing to worry
about.

Yeah, of course.

Thanks.

Hello, Molly.

I don't know what to say.

Don't eat.

You've done a good job, though, haven't
you? It is beautiful.

Imagine you go all the way to London.

Oh, thank you so much.

No, you weren't tempted by the bright
lights, then. All those exciting things

you could see and do.

No, no, Molly.

Everything I want is right here.

Where's the sound?

They're off mic.

No. No, there's nothing there. I don't
believe it. The first decent footage.

It's not all bad. That guy's asked me to
film his daughter's wedding.

Oh, excellent.

Is it going?

No, every frame's a Rembrandt.

No, no, no, no, that argument from last
night, I do not want that in it.

You have my word, as a producer.

Look, what we need is some kind of
introductory interview.

You know, this kind of thing, Lexi
MacDonald, first female laird of

If you say it often enough, I might
start believing it.

Ah. Good morning, Charles.

How are we today?

Displeased.

Your chef has been insufferably rude.

Hmm? Hmm?

I want something done.

OK. OK.

Move it to me.

Look, um... I was very interested in
what you were saying last night about

clan history.

Fascinating, all that stuff about the
feud.

And right now, history is the new rock
and roll.

You make a good history, Doc. It is
shown all round the world.

Really? Mm -hm.

Maybe we should talk.

I cannot believe you said that to him.

You cannot go round just insulting our
guest.

No, because all we're interested in is
being Queen of Glenbogo and passing

yourself off as one of the top.

I am not passing myself off as anything.

I grew up two miles away from you.

Then why do you pretend you're somebody
else?

So, we open with marching feats, burning
haystacks, naked women

running out of their crofts, and then
the Mel Gibson voiceover. I was thinking

more compare and contrast.

You know, Catherine MacDonald with this
pale imitation of a clan gathering.

You're the boss, Charlie.

It's Charles.

I don't know about you, but I could do
with a drink.

If there's one thing more annoying than
your constant need for refreshment, it's

your urge to tell everyone about it.

What the hell?

Don't worry.

You okay?

What are you doing out here?

I thought I'd keep out of the way.

I'd hate to put Charlie Boy off his
cucumber sandwiches.

Are you getting Tuesday?

I'm making a handle.

Look like they.

I thought your boss was supposed to
stick up for you.

She's under a lot of pressure right now.

It's not my fault.

At least I've got a day off tomorrow.

See how the caterers like it.

But you'd rather be the one doing the
cooking, eh?

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you do the food for Amanda
thing down by the loft?

Yeah?

Yeah.

Here.

Hey,

shovel.

Duncan, you are filthy.

Washing machine.

Ladies and gentlemen, fellow

McDonald's. Before we embark on another,
no doubt, excellent dinner...

I'd like to perform a small ceremony.

Would Lexie MacDonald step forward,
please?

I wasn't expecting that.

When I was researching clan history, I
discovered an historic oath of

taken by the first laird of Glenbogle.

And it occurred to me it might be
fitting to ask the first female laird to

the same oath.

Here, here.

No, no, no, no, no. I don't think it's
quite my style.

Ah, but remember, it's... The clan that
decides, not the laird.

And I'm sure we'd all like to hear you
take the oath.

Yeah!

Told you this was getting out of hand.

Charles? Oh, I see the first laird also
had a word for it this time.

It's my own translation.

From the old Scots.

OK.

I,

Lexie MacDonald...

do swear to uphold and fight for the
customs and traditions of my clan, give

no succour to our enemies, and honour
the will of my clansmen.

I shall do this for as long as I do
remain Laird of Glenbogle.

Well done.

Well, make a Laird of you, yeah?

Duncan, where are you?

Here.

Come on, I promise I won't laugh.

You're great.

You promised.

I think it's all your colour.

Right, that's it.

Hi. You can't come in.

There's something I need to tell you.

No one.

Hey, listen.

Amanda gave me a bottle. Aye.

I'll tell you.

I bought a washing machine.

Evening.

Just thought I'd get an early night.

Perfect. I think we should have a toast,
Molly.

Mm -hm. What shall we drink to?

Old friends.

Fresh starts.

It's the sun over the yardarm already.

Oh, I wouldn't mind Vox Pop in that.

That is my daughter.

OK.

Brian, could we set up for the
interview, please?

Where are you going to be today?

With Amanda.

It's the only few to worry. It's all
under control. Yeah, well, as long as

Charles Macdonald doesn't find out
what's going on.

Anyone seen Duncan?

Yeah, he's at the main gate, stopping
cars and checking invitations.

Hi. Hi.

Actually, Jess, I need to... All under
control, ain't he?

And Duncan on traffic duty.

He should admit that.

As long as he sends a Macdonald's to the
house and a McLeish to the beach, it

shouldn't be a problem.

He'll be fine.

And you ones can wait out later with the
food.

Ewan? I asked him to help.

Apparently, you've been giving him a bit
of our time recently.

Okay, okay, but he hasn't been much
help, though.

We are all behind you, Lex, including
Ewan. He wants this weekend to be a

success as much as you do.

Don't forget that, eh?

Although the beach is just round the
corner.

Here she is, the fragrant goddess of the
Glen. What do you want? A few pearls of

wisdom that we can immortalise and sell
you, Lloyd.

An audience with Lexie MacDonald.

He means an interview.

Oh, right, well, I'll have to wait.

I'll come to Elkwood to find out if
you're home too fast.

So the caterers have left because the
range isn't working?

What's wrong with it?

Just isn't working.

Have you checked the fuel?

Yeah.

Did you order it?

You didn't tell me. I did!

You just didn't listen!

I'm sorry.

Well, it's too late for that now.

We'll have to find the barbecue.

You want me to call the caterers back?

No. Because now you get your wish.

You're going to do it. But I'm supposed
to be helping Paul down by the lock.

Not until you've sorted something out
here first.

Oh, hi. Have you got my clothes?

No.

We could start early. I think we're
nearly all here.

Well, there's no rush, is there?

I mean, perhaps...

Perhaps people would like a bit of a
walk first.

Is there a problem?

No, no, of course not. What about the
ashes?

They're up at the house.

I don't want to take any chances.

They're hardly likely to be stolen.

No, but best be on the safe side.

I'd better go and see how Ewan's getting
on.

I'll be straight back.

Calm down. You're more nervous than I
am.

Thank you.

No, the clan gathering.

Sorry about that, but if you go further
up, you'll find your party on the right.

You lied to me.

Dad. You.

You get back to work.

Are you going to tell me what the
questions are? No, I like spontaneous.

just go for it. Turn over.

Lexi, you've been called the Queen of
Glenbogle.

How does... Cut!

Can you tell me to be quiet?

You! Will you keep the noise down in
there, please?

Maybe we should give it five minutes
here, will you?

No, I'd like to go again.

Turn over.

Relaxing. You have cut... Excuse me a
minute.

Falcon, this is a mimosas.

Yesterday, when you were moving bottles,
you came across a lagomore whiskey

sleeve with dust inside.

I've got to look.

I've got to find it, and quick, or I'm
in big trouble.

Hurry up, we need something to put all
this green charcoal into.

Leave it to me.

Now, when you're... When you're finished
that, just get this all fired up. Mrs

Macdonald, we're ready for your
interview now.

Let's... Let's have a word.

Sorry, will you just give me a minute?

Brian!

We're here. We would have found them by
now. They've got to be here somewhere.

They've got to be.

Um, there is this.

Are you sure about that?

It'll work. Trust me. Come on.

What?

Sorry about that. It's been a very busy
day.

I've got a fair ten minutes now, though.
Let's get on with it, then.

Can I brag? Can you turn over, please?

Lexi.

You've been called the Queen of
Glenbogle.

How does your approach differ from those
of previous layers?

Well, I believe if it ain't broken... We
have to cut. What?

Charles asked us to let him know who
we're doing the interview.

Charles? Ah.

The heady scent of showbiz. Even grown
men can't resist a wee sprinkling of

stardust.

Let's go and look for him, shall we?

Find them.

Now, the McDonald's.

Famous for fast food and old feuds.

Can you tell me about the bad feeling
between your family and the McLeishies?

Hold on. Can we stop that there?

I don't know much about the family
history. I told you that. Keep rolling.

You don't know much about the family
history.

No, but I will learn.

Moving on.

Amanda... Don't touch me!

Were you trying to humiliate me? No.

No, I'm really sorry. I was desperate.

Someone must have taken the ashes. I
don't know how it happened.

That is the most feeble excuse I've ever
heard. It's not even an excuse.

I know.

I wanted more than anything for today to
go right for you.

Well, it hasn't.

The one thing I wanted to do for my dad,
and it turns into a complete disaster.

I promised myself I wasn't going to do
this.

I'm so sorry.

This is where the Macdonald clan has
gathered to celebrate its history and

tradition. But could you tell me what is
happening at the other end of the loch?

Look, that's it. It's over. Cut the
camera. You've allowed members of the

MacLeish family to carry out a ceremony
of their own, flouting the traditions

that only last night you swore to
uphold.

We await an explanation.

Why are you doing this? We had a deal. I
suggested that the treachery of the

Queen of Glenbogle might make a better
story.

So I hired Michael here.

And he who pays the piper.

Shall we adjourn to the beach?

And see if we have indeed been invaded
by Clan MacLeish.

If you did want to try and outbid

Charlie, boy, I'm open to offers.

Perhaps not.

What on earth is happening? It's a
nightmare.

What do I tell them?

Leave it to me.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have an apology
to make.

What now?

I think this might be what you're
looking

for.

This is outrageous.

It is indeed.

You've no right to be here.

What are you talking about?

Scattering your father's ashes on
McDonald's land.

How dare you?

She's got every right to be here.

Your presence here on this beach,
sneaking in behind our backs, is an

the McDonald's. Stop it!

All of you!

And while I am laird, I'll say what goes
on in this estate, not you.

We have taped evidence that you've
betrayed your oath.

And I put it to you that you're no
longer fit to host this clan gathering

that in future they should be held at
Castle Macdonald. We can take a vote

Right, OK, OK. Well, we can let the clan
decide, but... Can I say something

first?

Now, we are all gathered here to
celebrate the traditions of the

I arrived here a kid with no home, no
job and...

And this family took me in.

So to me, the Macdonald traditions that
matter the most are generosity and

hospitality.

But there are some traditions that we're
far better off without.

And one of them is this stupid quarrel
with the MacLeish family.

I want to end it today.

This is all beside the point. No, it's
not.

Amanda is our friend.

And if we can't end this fight with her
family, then...

then I don't want to host any more clan
gatherings.

You're welcome, St Charles.

So, who wants to put an end to a feud
that is so old that no

one can even remember what it was about?

This is the Macdonald Quay.

One of the family's oldest heirlooms.

And something that the clan have valued
for generations.

It's been used to end disputes.

Few friendships.

Doesn't that tell you what the
McDonald's value most?

Not wars and feuds, but a good party.

Golly.

MacLeish whiskey in a McDonald cup.

To the clan MacLeish.

MacLeish!

Now, who'll take a drink with me?

My father loved this place, and he
thought of the McDonald's as his

The nothing would please him more.

The McDonald's.

Ron McLeish.

Excuse me, coming through.

Do it yourself, mate.

Eh? Eh, Brian, we're a team. Oh, yeah?
I'll make it 50 -50.

Thank you.

Have you done it? Never.

Never? Yeah. Look at everybody having
such fun.

They certainly put Charles in his place.

Yeah, but of course they have to manage
to hurt all the people with the only

master.

Charles is right, Molly.

I'm no liar.

Then nothing will do.

You won't believe there were sworn
enemies a couple of hours ago, will you?

In the spirit of McLeish and McDonnell's
refreshment.

Done?

Yes.

Don't be too hard on them, Gully.

This is a mistake.

Maybe, but even if it is, it's their
mistake.

Sometimes we have to get out of our old
ways of thinking about things.

All sorts of things that would never
have been possible in the past can

now.

Bye.

You were fantastic.

I haven't heard a speech like that since
the Oscars.

And halfway through, it hit me. I don't
know where it comes from. It's a gift, I

guess. Anyway, what we should do is a
great, big, in -your -face, feel -good

movie about you.

The Glasgow girl that became a fairytale
princess.

You know, you can take the girl out of
Glasgow.

Away and raffle your donut, pal.