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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,699 --> 00:00:41,260 Hello? Oh, hi, Ethel. Oh, just straightening up. You know I can't stand 2 00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:42,260 the house isn't neat. 3 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:46,220 A place for everything and everything in its place. That's the way I like it. 4 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,520 Well, Ricky ought to be home any minute. 5 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,760 No, I had dinner. Ricky ate downtown at the club. 6 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,780 Gee, I don't know what we're doing tonight. 7 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,960 I'll call you back after Ricky gets home. 8 00:00:57,540 --> 00:00:58,540 Okay, dear. 9 00:01:09,490 --> 00:01:11,650 Thank you. 10 00:03:32,430 --> 00:03:33,430 in the kitchen. 11 00:03:34,150 --> 00:03:37,510 What are you talking about, Cyclone? Well, something hit this room. 12 00:03:38,430 --> 00:03:39,790 Where? I don't see anything wrong. 13 00:03:40,090 --> 00:03:44,470 Oh, you don't. Would you mind telling me, please, what all these clothes are 14 00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:47,330 doing here in the living room? Oh, that's where I took them off. Would you 15 00:03:47,330 --> 00:03:48,330 them away for me there? 16 00:03:48,490 --> 00:03:51,950 Look, honey, there's a new invention you'll just love. It's a hole in the 17 00:03:52,030 --> 00:03:56,110 has a long pole in it, little metal things hanging on it, and it's called a 18 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,110 closet. 19 00:03:58,130 --> 00:04:00,190 Well, what won't they think of next? 20 00:04:00,530 --> 00:04:04,170 Oh, honestly, Ricky, How can you men be so sloppy and dirty? 21 00:04:04,430 --> 00:04:06,190 You're nothing but a bunch of mess cats. 22 00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:11,170 There's nothing sloppy and dirty about this room. It just looks, uh, lived in. 23 00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:13,990 Well, that's a good answer if you happen to be a pig. 24 00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:19,329 Honey, just drop this object, will you? I'd be glad to drop it if there's any 25 00:04:19,329 --> 00:04:20,329 more room on the floor. 26 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,450 You can't expect me to live in a museum. 27 00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:27,870 A man's home is his castle. And this is my castle. 28 00:04:30,410 --> 00:04:35,150 By your majesty, I bow to Ricardo I, king of the slobs. 29 00:04:38,590 --> 00:04:41,090 Thank you, my faithful subject. 30 00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:46,350 Don't expect this slave to pick up after you. If you want the house to look like 31 00:04:46,350 --> 00:04:48,570 this, okay, you can just sit and wallow in it. 32 00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:51,750 Ay, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. 33 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:57,230 Well, here's a whole spread on Tommy Dorsey at home. And you know something? 34 00:04:57,490 --> 00:05:02,270 What? He has his shoes on and a top. Yeah, what magazine is that? 35 00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:04,390 Your musician's magazine, The Half Beat. 36 00:05:04,650 --> 00:05:05,650 It is? 37 00:05:05,970 --> 00:05:06,970 Let me see that. 38 00:05:08,430 --> 00:05:09,770 Well, how do you like that? 39 00:05:10,130 --> 00:05:12,870 My press agent told me that I was going to get the next spread. 40 00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:17,170 It was going to be Ricky Ricardo at home. What magazine was it going to be 41 00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:18,270 Better Homes and Garbage? 42 00:05:20,930 --> 00:05:22,710 No, Smarty, in that magazine. 43 00:05:23,210 --> 00:05:25,430 That's a very important magazine in the music business. 44 00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:29,050 Wait till I hear from Kenny. Some press agent is. 45 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,360 Hi, Ethel. 46 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,400 Hi, dear. 47 00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:41,040 No, I don't think we're doing anything. Why don't you and Fred come on up? 48 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:45,120 Okay. Ethel and Fred are coming up, honey. Put your shoes on and pick up 49 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,200 papers. What for? 50 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,960 Because company is coming. 51 00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:50,460 It isn't company. It's Fred and Ethel. 52 00:05:51,460 --> 00:05:53,140 Well, put your shoes on. 53 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:54,740 They know I have feet. 54 00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:00,620 Ricky, are you going to help me clean up this place or aren't you? No, this is 55 00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:02,380 my home and I want to be comfortable in it. 56 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:06,960 Honey, I didn't mean it that way. 57 00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:10,140 You know, I was under the impression that half of everything in this house 58 00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:14,100 mine. All right, all right. You go ahead and clean your half of everything and 59 00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:15,960 leave my half just the way it is. 60 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,420 All right, we'll divide the room in half. 61 00:06:21,740 --> 00:06:25,700 I'll keep my half the way I want to. You keep your half any way you please. 62 00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:26,759 Are you kidding? 63 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,220 No, I'm very serious. 64 00:06:29,380 --> 00:06:31,620 We'll make a line right about here. 65 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,400 Absolutamente loca. 66 00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:39,420 Never mind that. 67 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:45,040 Now, honey, wait just a minute. What are you... Just stay right over there. 68 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,560 That's your line. You can't come over here without a passport. 69 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,540 Oh, for goodness sakes. 70 00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:52,260 That's on the line. 71 00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:53,900 I just want a cigarette. 72 00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:55,900 Well, half of what's in this pack is mine. 73 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,680 You mean that's the only cigarette we have in the house? 74 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,000 Yep. You get Philip and I get Morris. 75 00:07:16,780 --> 00:07:18,600 What are these things doing over here on my side? 76 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:32,020 Come in. Hi, Lucy. Hi, folks. 77 00:07:32,380 --> 00:07:33,380 Hi. 78 00:07:35,340 --> 00:07:36,340 What's this? 79 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,720 Before you settle down, whose side do you want to sit on? 80 00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:45,200 Huh? Over there in the neat side of the house. 81 00:07:51,690 --> 00:07:55,210 so messy, so I divided the apartment in two. This is my side, that's Ricky's 82 00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:57,570 side. I wondered what happened over there. 83 00:07:58,070 --> 00:07:59,850 What's the matter with it? It looks okay to me. 84 00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:01,790 Okay? 85 00:08:02,010 --> 00:08:03,250 Well, sure, there's nothing wrong. 86 00:08:03,630 --> 00:08:04,950 Just looks lived in. 87 00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:06,770 Attaboy, Fred. 88 00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:10,010 Would you like to join me in the comfortable part of the house? 89 00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:13,010 Delighted. Oh, pull up some debris and sit down, Fred. 90 00:08:14,270 --> 00:08:17,230 Don't touch anything on your way over here. Everything over there... 91 00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:33,780 mind if I sit on this side? 92 00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:37,799 No, I think you might find it rather pleasant over here. Until the wind 93 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,460 Why don't you take your shoes off, Fred? 94 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:43,760 What, can I do that? 95 00:08:43,919 --> 00:08:44,920 Oh, gee. 96 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:10,960 Would you like some fruit? 97 00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:12,020 Yeah, I'd love fruit. 98 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,900 the press agent. Tell him I'm plenty mad at him. Hello, Kenny. 99 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,260 Ricky says to tell you he's plenty mad at you. 100 00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:44,240 Why am I mad at you? 101 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:45,580 Why am I mad at you? 102 00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:50,560 Because you've been promising me a spread in half -beat note magazine since 103 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:54,380 February. Explain that if you can. Because you've been promising me a 104 00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:56,820 half -beat magazine since last February. Explain that. 105 00:10:09,219 --> 00:10:10,780 Okay, well, so long, kid. Take it easy. 106 00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:12,260 Well, so long, kid. Take it easy. 107 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,040 If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe it. 108 00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:22,600 Well, I saw it, and I still don't believe it. 109 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:26,780 Come on, Fred, you want some cold beer? Yeah, I'd love. I think I got some cold 110 00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:28,140 chicken in the icebox. Oh, come on. 111 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,000 Ah, ah, ah, ah, kitchen's on my side, remember? 112 00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:34,560 You mean I can never go into the kitchen? 113 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,840 And stand back a little, you're over the line. 114 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,400 What am I supposed to do? Starve to death? 115 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,120 Oh, I'll toss you a crust of bread now and then. 116 00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:47,280 Hungry, Ethel? Are you kidding? Come on, we'll have some beer and cold chicken. 117 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,640 And we'll toss the bottles and bones on Ricky's side. 118 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:54,100 Oh, say, remind me. I want to show you some bath salts that I got. They were on 119 00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:55,300 sale. Oh, show them to me now. 120 00:10:55,540 --> 00:10:56,540 Okay. 121 00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:59,120 May I see your passport? 122 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:05,200 I just want to show off my new bath salts. Well, I'm terribly sorry, but the 123 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,760 bathroom is on my side. 124 00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:12,020 go into the bathroom? 125 00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:15,960 That's right. No more taking a shower. No more washing your face. 126 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,160 No more doing whatever it is you do to your hair. 127 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,300 Well, no more food for you. 128 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,960 Okay. We'll see who holds out the longest. 129 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:29,020 Come back in a couple of weeks, Ethel. We'll still be here. A starving Cuban 130 00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:30,020 a dirty brunette. 131 00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:53,740 Whenever all mine trouble makes trouble arise, this was a big straw hat. 132 00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:59,180 Over your eyes you'll never see the circumstance making you... George, is 133 00:11:59,180 --> 00:11:59,879 new number? 134 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:00,719 Yes, Maggie. 135 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,380 Oh, glory be, I've got to see this. Now, don't do it till I get seated. 136 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,280 Okay, you know you're my best critic. 137 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:09,920 Are you ready? 138 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:10,960 I am. 139 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,500 Whenever all... 140 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:18,460 trouble makes trouble you're right just put that big straw hat over your eyes 141 00:12:18,460 --> 00:12:23,000 you'll never see the circumstance making you brown if you'll just push your eyes 142 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:30,000 under the ground life can be a simple thing a simple thing to laugh and sing 143 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:36,480 get yourself a heart of straw and put it on don't take it off and when the 144 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:41,920 landlord tells you the rent's in arrears a big straw hat Over your ears you'll 145 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:47,040 never hear The dialogue tragically grim If you'll just push your ear Under the 146 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,040 brim 147 00:13:34,860 --> 00:13:36,040 A simple thing. 148 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,700 To laugh and sing. 149 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,780 Get yourself a heart of straw. 150 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:44,600 Put it on. 151 00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,680 Don't take it all. 152 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:56,920 I'm pretty. 153 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,580 Soon your troubles will come. 154 00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:08,119 in the sky. 155 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:11,140 Big throw, hat down. 156 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,640 Big throw, hat down. 157 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:15,080 Oh, you're right. 158 00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:20,100 Well? 159 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:30,120 Oh, thank you, Maggie. Thank you very much. 160 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:31,900 Oh, I'm sure the pleasure was all mine. 161 00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:34,580 Oh, thank you. All right. 162 00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:49,420 How's this for fast action? I promised you last night you were going to get the 163 00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:50,420 next magazine spread. 164 00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:53,840 Meet the photographer who's going to shoot it, Jim White. Hello, Jim. Hello, 165 00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,200 Ricky. I'd like to shoot those pictures tonight. 166 00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:59,680 All right, I think tonight will be wonderful. You should get very good 167 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:00,459 here tonight. 168 00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:03,500 Yeah, and I'll tell you something else I'd like to do, Ricky. Some pictures of 169 00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:04,419 your home life. 170 00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:05,339 Oh, sure. 171 00:15:05,340 --> 00:15:06,580 What kind of a place have you got? 172 00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:10,000 Well, I have a little apartment in a reconverted brownstone. 173 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,780 Say, I'd better call the wife and tell her you're coming. 174 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,200 Give her a little warning, eh? 175 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:19,340 Well, to tell you the truth, James, she doesn't need any warning, you know. 176 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:22,040 She's the best little housekeeper you ever saw. 177 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,220 Everything is always as neat as a pin. 178 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,300 Well, we gotta go. 179 00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:28,940 Jim will meet you here after rehearsal and you can take him out to the house. 180 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,980 Okay, I'll see you then. Fine. Bye. 181 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,780 Oh, you don't say, Marge. Is that so? 182 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:43,480 Really? 183 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,870 Well, it's certain... Certainly good to get the other side of the story for a 184 00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:50,010 change. Hey, do you know we've been gabbing for 45 minutes? 185 00:15:50,630 --> 00:15:53,570 Yeah. Well, let's get together next week and have a real talk. 186 00:15:54,630 --> 00:15:55,630 Okay, dear. 187 00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:56,790 Bye. 188 00:15:57,070 --> 00:16:00,230 Hi. Oh, hi, Ethel. Welcome to Tobacco Road. 189 00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:03,610 How did Ricky get out of the house this morning without crossing the line? 190 00:16:03,710 --> 00:16:07,290 Through the bedroom window? No, he used the back door. We made a deal. I swapped 191 00:16:07,290 --> 00:16:09,110 him kitchen privileges for bathroom rights. 192 00:16:11,810 --> 00:16:13,790 Lucy, how long can this go on? 193 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:16,760 Oh, it's over now. I'm going to clean up the whole house this afternoon. 194 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,040 Well, thank goodness. 195 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,420 Oh, I forgot what I came up for. Ricky just called me. Your line was busy. 196 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,880 What'd he want? He said to tell you he's bringing a magazine photographer home 197 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,920 tonight to take some pictures, and he wants you to clean up the house 198 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,960 all of it. Oh, he won't keep it clean for me, but when it's important for him, 199 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:36,340 he wants the whole house cleaned up perfectly, all of it. Let's face it, 200 00:16:36,340 --> 00:16:39,440 man. Serve him right if I left it just the way it is. Yeah. 201 00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:41,880 Hey, I'll do it. 202 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,980 Oh, Lucy, you wouldn't. Yes, I would. What about that photographer? 203 00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:49,280 Oh, that doesn't matter. It's just for that silly musician's magazine. Nobody 204 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,280 ever reads it anyway. 205 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:52,600 And as soon as I make my point, I'll tell him it's a gag. 206 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,940 And as long as it's a gag, I might as well go whole hog. 207 00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:59,720 Ethel, will you help me? Sure. What do you want me to do? Well, listen, when 208 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,720 Ricky comes home with that photographer, we'll have the whole place... 209 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,060 Is this your apartment? 210 00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:27,079 Well, it sure doesn't look anything like this. 211 00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:33,580 Well, what do you know, Jim? 212 00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:35,420 We're getting to the run -up on... 213 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:18,940 Is this your wife? 214 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,200 Why, sure. 215 00:18:25,580 --> 00:18:26,580 Yes, Jim. 216 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,240 This is my wife. 217 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:29,920 Lucy, meet Jim. 218 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,280 What's the matter? Look at the way this place looks. 219 00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:54,680 Yeah, it looks pretty good, don't it? You should have seen it before I cleaned 220 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,680 it up. 221 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:00,800 It's a regular pig pen. 222 00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:03,500 Oh, it ain't a regular one, but it'll do. 223 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,840 You know we don't keep pigs in here, just chickens. 224 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:14,240 Jim, Jim, please, please, please, Jim. Now, look, believe me, this place has 225 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,520 never looked like this before. 226 00:19:36,590 --> 00:19:39,230 Funny, do you realize that this man is a very important photographer? 227 00:20:27,210 --> 00:20:30,830 washing machine, but I darn near passed out coming through the ringer. 228 00:21:09,899 --> 00:21:11,760 She said she's going hunting. 229 00:21:12,060 --> 00:21:14,400 Hunting. Hunting in the bedroom. How do you like that? 230 00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:16,560 That's the most ridiculous thing... 231 00:21:46,830 --> 00:21:49,490 Don't read your darn magazine but musician fellers. Yeah! 232 00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:51,370 Lucy. Huh? 233 00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:54,430 This man is not from, from hot beat... 234 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,300 They showed the nightclub and the band and the shots of you singing. 235 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,520 Honey, what are you crying about? 236 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:31,020 Jim White promised me he wouldn't use a single picture of you in the article. 237 00:22:31,340 --> 00:22:33,260 No, I wasn't in the article. 18561