All language subtitles for touched_by_an_angel_s07e14_bringer_of_light

Look, that's another one. That's the
third falling star we've seen in one

You do know, don't you, baby? That's not
a star.

No, I know.

It's a chunk of space rock that burns up
as it enters the Earth's atmosphere.

Look, that's not a star either. That
smudgy one, that's the Andromeda Galaxy.

Oh, I see.

Ted, did you know that the Andromeda
Galaxy consists of perhaps half a

stars? But because it's so far away from
us...

It looked like just one.

Where did you learn all of that?

Andrew taught me. The Andromeda Galaxy
consists of perhaps half a trillion

stars. But because it's so far away from
us, it looks like just one.

Look at all that wonderful light.

Just crying out, look what God has done.

Some people do see.

Some people don't see.

And some people try to see.

But the darkness just gets in the way.

That doesn't look like math homework.

Oh, hi. I'm sorry.

I was just taking a break to look at the
stars.

But it's too bright outside.

I used to love to watch the stars.

When I was your age, I used to sit with
my grandma on summer nights and we'd

make up our own constellations.

Lurkey the turkey.

Joanna banana.

I wonder if Joanna's out tonight.

No. No, none of them are out tonight.

Just the moon.

Mom, did you know that the moon was
exactly what we needed?

What do you mean?

Well, Dad was saying how it's unusual
for a planet to just have one big moon.

But that's exactly what we got.

I mean, if it were much smaller or
closer to the Earth, or if we didn't

have one,

we probably wouldn't even be here.

It just makes you wonder how it all got
started, you know?

Told you about that already.

It's just luck.

In a universe of five billion trillion
stars, the odds are one planet's going

get everything right, right?

Dad, it's bad enough having to listen to
you teach at school.

I really don't feel like listening to
this at home, okay?

Who said you listened at all?

That's so unfair.

Hey, hey, truth.

You guys.

Look, I'm tired.

Good night.

I love you.

Good night.

Don't stay up till late.

Did you see that?

A child asks a question.

She wants to understand the music that
the stars make in her soul.

She's trying to find the answer to the
longing and wonder she feels.

And then somebody just casually shoots a
question down.

And a little girl's faith dies before it
can be born.

It happens every day.

But it cannot happen this time.

She's got to find enough faith for a
whole family.

When you walk down the road,

heavy burden, heavy load, I

will rise and I will...

Walk with you.

I'll walk with you.

Till the sun don't even shine.

Walk with you.

Every time I tell you I'll walk with
you.

Walk with you. Believe me, I'll walk
with you.

Morning. Morning.

Lucinda Marie, you are not wearing that.

Why not?

Because you're 15 and your stomach is
showing. That's why.

You got a million other tops to go all
the way down to your pants.

Maybe a sweater would help, honey.

Maybe a snowmobile suit.

Is that like a joke? Lucy, just go
change, okay?

At least she listens to you with me.
It's always a fight.

She's just at that age. Yeah, and she
finally gets to the age where she

that her father's right about
everything.

That was five. You missed it.

Thank you.

What time's your appointment?

Two -thirty.

Much better.

You ready?

I gotta get in and finish grading those
geology tests.

Oh, did you grade mine yet?

No special privileges, just because I'm
your father.

You're telling me.

That's Monica. She's my new English
teacher.

Is she what you call her, Monica?

Sorry.

I haven't left you much room to get out
there.

Try it.

I'll make it.

Maybe it's just God's way of telling me
to go on a diet.

Maybe it's his way of telling me I
should learn how to park.

Hiya, Lucy. Hi. I'm just kidding. I
don't really believe in God. John Baker.

Monica. I do.

You did an excellent job on your English
quiz.

Oh, really? You finished grading them
already?

No, I haven't, but I graded yours in
between you and me.

Is that an A?

Some of you did very well on the geology
test.

Some of you did not.

So much for rocks. Today, we begin to
study astronomy.

The sun, the moon, the earth, the
planets, the comets that circle the sun

beyond the orbits of Neptune and Pluto,
somewhere out by the orbit of

young Danny's ego over here.

So I've asked Andrew to join us today.
Andrew is from the Hanson Planetarium,

and he's here to help us get started.
Welcome, Andrew. They're all yours.

you. Thanks.

Okay, so can anybody tell me how big the
Milky Way galaxy is?

Anyone?

Okay, well, to give you an idea of how
big it is, if you're going the speed of

light, which is 186 ,000 miles per
second,

it'll take you this long to get to the
moon.

And if you keep going that same speed
for the next 90 ,000 years, then you

might reach the edge.

of our galaxy.

And that's just the beginning. It
doesn't stop there because there are

a hundred billion other galaxies in our
universe.

How are you feeling?

Well, I'm a little tired, but then
again, I have a teenager at home.

There you go.

I'll tell the doctor.

Thanks.

Hey, that's it.

Come by the planetarium anytime and see
me, and we've got a great new show, so

come check it out. One more reminder to
people, your research topics are due

tomorrow.

Andrew, really appreciate you coming by.
Anytime.

Lucy.

You can do better than a C -.

What happened? I thought you studied.

I did.

I guess rocks just don't throw me too
much.

Look, you've got to bring your grade up.

You're sitting on a C average, but
you're not that far away from a D. And

sorry, but I can't help you just
because... I know.

No special privileges.

See ya.

When I heard the learned astronomer,
when the proof, the figures were ranged

columns before me, when I was shown the
charts and diagrams to add, divide, and

measure them...

How soon, unaccountable, I became tired
and sick.

Till rising and gliding out, I wandered
off by myself in the mystical, moist

night air and from time to time looked
up in perfect silence at the stars.

So, what do you think Mr.

Whitman was trying to say?

Mary? Well, it's like he's sick of
knowing all that stuff about the stars.

just wants to remember how cool they
look.

That's exactly right, Mary.

Now, for your next essay, I want you all
to go outside to look at the stars and

to write down what you see and feel.

Lucy. But you can't see the stars.

There's too much light from the city.

Yes, that could be a problem, huh?

Okay, let's see.

Here we go. To see a world in a grain of
sand and a heaven in a wildflower.

We have wildflowers, don't we?

All right, everyone, the essay is due
Wednesday.

Any flower will do.

Monica, if I could find a way, could I
do the stars instead of the wildflowers?

Of course.

Really? Because I'm doing this research
paper for science, and I was thinking

about doing something about the stars at
the planetarium.

Ah, two reports, one research trip. Good
thinking.

What's your research paper on, anyway?

I haven't decided yet.

I just like this whole universe thing,
you know?

Like, well, where did it come from?

Was it just an accident, or what?

I mean, what started it all?

Or who?

Yeah, but that would be like trying to
prove there's a God, and that would

my dad crazy.

Yeah.

Thanks.

You're going to what?

I'm going to prove the existence of God.

Not in my class.

Why not?

I don't care if you get Einstein to
write your paper for you. It's bad time.

Monica thought it was a good idea. Yeah,
well, Monica is not your science

teacher. You just don't like it because
I thought of it. It's somebody else

that... Mom?

What is it, Erica?

It's back.

What?

The cancer is back.

How could the cancer come back?

I thought they got rid of it.

With your mom's kind, it's a little more
complicated.

Yes, but it'll be okay.

I'm just going to have to go back to
chemo and start over again.

Right. And we'll get through it just
like we did last time.

We know how to handle it.

So there's nothing to worry about then,
right?

I am not worried.

We'll just keep on keeping on, okay?

What were you two arguing about when you
came in?

She comes to me and she actually
proposes to prove the existence of God

research paper.

Can you believe that?

You just wanted to get your attention.

What makes you think she can prove
something like that?

She doesn't have to prove it. She got
your goat.

Mission accomplished.

Were you like this when you were 15?

I was perfect.

going to beat this thing again, you
know?

I know.

Good morning, John.

Clarify something for me, will you? Lucy
told me you encouraged her to prove the

existence of God in her research paper
for my class. Is that true?

I didn't discourage her. Oh, really?

It sounded like a lovely hypothesis for
a science project.

I consider your interference with my
students, let alone my daughter, highly

unethical. I'm sorry if this has caused
conflict, John, but I believe in God.

And if someone asks me if his existence
is worthy of discussion, I have to

agree. Do me a favor and keep your God
to yourself.

Lucy has enough problems right now
without you filling her head with a

fairy tales.

For a man that doesn't believe in God,
he seems terribly passionate about him.

noticed that.

But sometimes a man can become so...

He keeps himself in the dark.

Science is science and God is God and
never the twain shall meet. Well, the

twain did meet in his life once.

Really? Just once?

So far.

Okay, I've read your proposals and I'm
very proud of some of you. The rest of

you will notice a big no scrawled across
your title page.

That means you're going to need to
choose a new topic.

So, Danny, we won't be proving the
theory of why men can't do housework.

Very good. As for the rest of you, let's
try and find a topic that actually

resembles science.

Shall we?

So first I've got my English paper, or
how stars make me feel or something.

All right, well, I can provide a few
stars for that.

And I was also hoping you might be able
to help me out with my science project,

too, but my lame -o science teacher
totally shot down my idea because it's

scientific enough.

Well, what was your topic?

To prove the existence of God.

Oh,

so something easy.

All right, well, how about this? Have
you ever heard of the intelligent design

theory? No, no, but this is sounding
very good.

Good.

Hi, Erica.

How you been holding up?

I'm not exactly thrilled to be going
through this again, but I have a lot of

faith in the medicine.

Well, statistics show that people who
have faith get through this sort of

a little better.

But that's faith in God, not faith in
medicine.

Well, my family doesn't believe in God.

What about you?

I think about it sometimes, but my
husband's a science teacher. He has a

with religion.

So I just try not to rock the boat.

But your husband's not the one that's
sitting in this chair.

Is he, baby?

Hey, Lucy.

Hey, you're not going to believe this.
Do you remember that planetarium guy,

Andrew?

He totally showed me a way to nail my
research paper.

When you look up at the stars, what's
wrong?

Do you know how I'm doing my science
paper on how you can cure all different

kinds of cancer?

Yeah. What kind does your mom have?

Ovarian.

God.

Do you know what the survival rate is
for women who get ovarian cancer twice?

It's practically zero.

The second time around, they don't even
talk about getting better.

They just talk about how long until they
die.

My mother is dying, Monica.

She's got a year to live, and she's
lucky.

She's not gonna be there for graduation
or my wedding

or when I have a baby.

She was always supposed to be there for
that stuff.

I love my dad, but we're just too
different.

It's mom who...

How am I supposed to live without my
mom?

Your mother is still here, Lucy, and she
needs you to be strong for her now more

than ever.

I'm not strong.

Yes, you are.

You have so much to offer.

More than you even realize.

You know, you share a name with a famous
literary character.

A very courageous woman in the novel Don
Quixote.

And the name Lucy means bringer of
light.

Maybe that's what you're meant to do for
your mother right now. And your father,

too. Bring light?

I don't understand.

Well, things seem pretty dark right now.

But what happens when it gets darker?

The stars come out.

I thought we were going to get this
thing fixed.

Where have you been? I waited for you
after school.

I was with Monica, okay?

No, not okay.

If you don't need a ride, don't make me
wait around while you're goofing off.

I wasn't goofing off.

Okay. Guys, please stop.

Please.

When were you going to tell me the
truth?

Lucy, your dad's scared, too.

Well, if he is, he sure doesn't show it.

Sure he does.

He shows it by getting angry at things
he can't control, like ovens and teenage

daughters.

Don't do this research paper on God,
Lucy, just to hurt him.

He's hurting enough already.

Maybe it started out that way.

Mom, all of a sudden, I really, really
want to know if there is a God or not.

Because if there isn't, and you die,

all the science in the world isn't going
to help me see you again.

I don't know, sweetheart.

But I'll tell you one thing.

If there is a God, this would be a nice
time to know.

Even Einstein's theory of relativity is
not inconsistent at all with the concept

of eternity and intelligent design.

You're saying that... All the
coincidences in the universe aren't?

Okay.

Let's say that you are out walking in a
field and you happen to see this watch

sitting there on a tree stump.

Now, would you assume that all the gears
and the wheels

and the little springs just... fell down
from the sky and landed there

perfectly together to make this watch.

Of course not.

I figure that somebody had left it
there.

Well, why wouldn't you assume that it
had always been there?

Because it couldn't have always been
there.

Why not?

Because it had to come from somewhere.

Like, wherever they make watches.

So what you're saying is...

This what?

Had to be... It had to be imagined.

It had to be made.

And it had to be put on that stump by
someone.

Well, yeah.

You can't have a watch unless somebody's
made it.

And it didn't just jump up on the tree
stump.

Why not?

Out of all the gears and the wheels...

And this brings in the world.

The odds are that some of them had to
finally end up together as a watch on a

tree stump accidentally.

Right?

Well, when you put it that way, it's a
lot harder to believe in coincidence

than it is to believe in a watchmaker.

You never see the watchmaker.

But the evidence that he was there is
right in your hand.

Dr. Cody to the pharmacy.

Dr. Cody to the pharmacy.

Mom, I think I've done it.

What, sweetie?

A number of recent scientific
discoveries can be used to support the

intelligent design.

which suggests the evidence exists.

Mom?

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. I guess I'm
having trouble focusing today.

Lucy, baby, maybe we should do this at a
different time.

Well, but the paper's due tomorrow.

Are you happy with it, honey?

Yeah. I mean, I put a lot of science in
here, which Dad ought to like.

Good.

Good turn it in

It should have been an F. I gave you
points for spelling.

But I proved it. You proved nothing.

You just don't listen.

No, you don't listen. I told you no, but
you just pressed on to make me crazy.

No, I did this because I wanted to know.

How do you know that there isn't a God,
Dad? Did you ever do an experiment to

prove that he didn't exist?

Of course not.

Then how do you know he isn't real?

Because I know.

Because I know.

Okay? That's how I know.

I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Fine. Be that way.

Why are you always doing that, John?

We're always at each other's throats.

What are you two going to do when I'm
gone?

You can't just give up, Erica.

I'm not giving up.

I'm accepting it.

And I want to use the time I have left
to help the two of you accept it, too.

Because if this family falls apart, if
everything my life has been about falls

apart, then I don't know why I was here.

Erica? John.

You've got to let her deal with this in
her own way.

Like that paper she wrote.

But that's not... Science. It's science
fiction.

Some invisible guy in the clouds with
some wonderful plan for hope and love

peace on Earth.

Well, maybe that's just what she needs
right now.

Maybe that's what I need.

I think you're going to be very
comfortable here, baby.

I'm sure I will.

And guess what?

They've got ten different kinds of
jello.

I don't recommend the green one because
it's not actually lime. It's just green.

But the other colors are just fine.

Thank you, Tissel. Remember that.

Well, I'll check on you later.

Okay, Lucy.

We'll be back right after school.

I love you.

Lucy? Try not to be too hard on your
dad.

Okay. Bye.

Oh, and you know what?

I read your science report.

Really?

Did you like it? Did it...

Give you some hope I can tell you worked
really hard on it honey, and I'm so

proud of you

Lucy, how are you today?

We took my mom to the hospital this
morning.

And I don't think she's coming back out.

My dad was right.

I did deserve an F on that stupid paper.

It didn't prove anything.

And it didn't give my mom any light at
all.

So now she's going to die not knowing if
there's a God.

And you know what?

I don't know either.

Just because you can't see the light
doesn't mean it's not there.

Maybe something just got in the way.

Maybe you gave your mother the wrong
report.

where's my wife she left what

we're almost there mom

where exactly are we going you'll see

mean you don't know where she went?
She's your patient.

I realize that, Mr. Baker, but they
didn't tell me exactly where they were

going. Who are they?

Your daughter and pet.

They said something about taking Mrs.
Baker to go see the stars.

This look like a good spot for you,
baby?

Yeah, it does.

Thanks. All right. Honk, Sonia, if you
need me.

Now, what's all this about?

Mom, I know you didn't like my science
paper very much. No, I thought it was

very well. No.

Let me finish.

I wrote two papers at the planetarium.

I gave you the science paper because it
had all the facts and figures, and I

thought all the evidence made a really
good case for some sort of intelligent

design for the universe.

And whether Dad liked it or not, the
things I found out really got me

thinking and got me asking questions of
how we got here.

The truth is, all I really care about
now is where we're going.

So I think I gave you the wrong paper.

This is my English paper.

A plus.

My goodness.

Anyway, when I wrote this, I wasn't
really thinking about God.

I was just thinking about the stars.

But I just read it again, and all of a
sudden, it makes perfect sense.

The science paper doesn't prove there's
a God.

It just gives evidence.

The proof is in here.

Looking at the stars, all of a sudden, I
don't care how many there are or how

far away they might be.

All I think about as I look up at the
sky is that they're so beautiful.

And something happens inside me.

Something I can't explain.

Something that feels very real and
somehow very old.

As if what I'm feeling tonight in the
21st century is the same thing people

been feeling for thousands and thousands
of years.

Something that makes us feel tiny and
yet part of something huge all at the

time.

Something that makes me feel.

Grateful.

Yes.

I used to feel that.

But, Mom, don't you see? If I felt
grateful, if

something inside of me had to say thank
you, then there must be somebody out

there to feel grateful to.

Somebody that people have been feeling
grateful to for centuries.

Long before we knew about light years
and black holes and galaxies.

It's inside of us.

And I think everybody feels it at least
once.

Yeah.

I did.

But...

I guess I just didn't look long enough.

That's why I brought you here.

Look up, Mom.

He's there.

Andrew!

Anybody here?

Andrew has left.

Oh, hi.

The planetarium is closed.

I'm the only one here.

Have you seen Lucy here with her mother?

Are you sure?

Yes. Because they left the hospital to
go look at the stars, but this is the

only place around you can see them.

That's right.

Too many bright lights.

Too much smog and haze.

Too much in the way to even know if the
stars are real at all.

I don't know where else they could be.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

I don't, um...

what to do.

Lucy told me about your wife.

I walked into that room tonight and it
was empty and... You know, all of a

sudden I... I knew what it was going to
feel like after she's... You know, after

she's gone and I'm alone.

You won't be alone.

Lucy, let me...

I'm already losing her.

She hates me.

And I don't know why.

And I can never seem to find the right
words.

I've never been alone.

I just don't know if I can bear it.

Is that true, John?

Isn't there a time once, somewhere, when
you felt alone?

I don't know.

Yeah, um... Once when I was a kid, I got
lost

camping.

It got dark.

And what happened?

Something told me to look up, and I saw
the North Star, and I

just followed it, and I found my way
out.

Something told you, and you looked up,
and lo and behold, somebody had put a

star in the sky.

Not exactly.

Quite exactly.

Exactly north.

That star has been leading people home
for a long time.

God is quite the scientist, don't you
think?

I told you I don't believe in God.

Then start.

What?

Just start.

Like every experiment you've ever done.

Behave as if God exists.

And then start looking for him.

As if you'll find him.

Why would I even bother?

Because you keep saying that you don't
believe in God.

But you never say that you don't want
to.

And I think that you do, especially now.

And I also think that you're afraid.

You're afraid that if you find evidence
of an intelligent and loving God, that

will mean that all your years of
studying science were for nothing. But

not going to happen, John.

As a matter of fact... You've spent your
life discovering how amazing the

universe is.

And that's why you can understand more
than most people just how amazing God

If I just believe.

If I just start.

Yes.

You see, God promises that if you take
one step out of the darkness into the

light, no matter how small the step, the
light will shine brighter.

Take a step, John.

Just one step into the light.

And if God is not there, you've lost
nothing.

But if he is there, you have gained
everything.

Maybe.

But it still won't save my family.

It already has.

One step.

One. Okay.

God.

This is great.

God.

This is me.

Are you there?

Yes.

Yes, he is.

And he wants you to know how much he
loves you.

You're an angel.

Yes.

Thank you you jumped dead Monica

How did you know where to find us?

Well, something just told me.

We came to look at the stars.

So did I.

I love you, kid.

I love you too, Daddy.

You know that paper you wrote?

Yeah.

I'd like to read it again.

I think I may have missed something the
first time.

Feels good, doesn't it, baby?

Yes, it does.

It's wonderful to see them all together.

How long do they have, Andrew?

Forever.