All language subtitles for touched_by_an_angel_s07e06_the_empty_chair

What time is it?

Five.

Why didn't the alarm clock go off?

Shh.

I'm trying to remember my dream before I
wake up. You are awake. Shh, shh. Don't

say anything. It was something awful.

Good.

I'd like to hear something awful before
I get out of bed and start the day.

Since when did you start writing down
your dreams?

We have that dream interpreter coming on
the show tomorrow.

I don't know.

I don't read the schedule that far
ahead.

Oh, God forbid you should do that.

What?

Nothing.

You just don't do your homework, that's
all. What homework?

We sit, we talk, we go to commercial.

See, I forgot my dream.

You've engaged me in conversation and my
dream just slipped away.

I have that effect on women.

Do you want coffee?

Yeah.

They seem to get along.

Well, they get along just fine.
Something's missing.

Yes.

No, actually, there's something there.
And that's the problem.

It's something that's never discussed.

It's something that's never resolved, so
it never really goes away.

That's the way marriage ends.

One unspoken word at a time.

And those words just pile up inside, and
one day they come spilling out because

the plate was broken or a fender
smashed.

And today's the day.

Yeah. What do we do?

Just be there.

Sometimes people need to hear the truth
spoken by an angel.

And then sometimes people need to speak
the truth to an angel.

Your assignment is to be there when the
dam breaks and listen.

The children raised over $7 ,000 for the
new gym. And according to their

principal, raised a lot of school spirit
as well.

You know, Harvey, that's my old high
school.

No, I didn't know that. Yes, you did,
Harvey, you moron. She says it once a

month. You never listen.

We'll be back in just a minute with a
look at the weather and a look at the

mayor's new report on crime after this.

Today on Breakfast with the Bats, we'll
be talking with a psychologist who says

you can save your marriage by playing
games. And a fashion expert from New

drops by to give Bud a brand new look
for winter.

That's today at 10 on WZPZ Channel 14.

The one for Omaha.

What kind of games could save your
marriage?

Late.

It's showtime.

It's showtime.

When you

walk down...

Heavy burden, heavy load I

will rise and I will walk with you I'll

walk with you Till the dawn don't even
shine Walk with

you Every time I tell you I'll walk with
you

I'll walk with you.

Did you turn the coffee off?

Yeah, just now.

The coffee's still hot.

It's at the front door at 5 .30 in the
morning.

Hello. Hello, Mr. Baxter?

Yes. My name is Tess. I'll be your
driver today.

I didn't know that we had a driver
today.

Arnie, did you order a limo?

I didn't.

Well, I have here 5 .30 pickup, 6 a .m.
delivered to station WZPZ,

12 .30 p .m. personal appearance at the
Super Food World, and at 1 .30 p .m.

Omaha Children's Hospital.

Hello. Hello.

That was Arnie. He ordered the limo
because of our big day.

I didn't know that we had such a big
day. Yes, you did.

This is really a big day.

Big.

Let's talk about pillow talk.

Sheila.

Well, Bud, it's a fun way to open
avenues of discussion. Just when married

couples start thinking they know
everything there is to know about each

You mean I don't?

Are you kidding? I am the soul of
mystery.

A sphinx.

A sphinx.

A sphinx.

Okay, let's play the game.

It's a snowy Saturday afternoon.

Would your mate rather sit by a cozy
fire or go outside and make a snowman?

Go outside.

Betsy's a doer. I've never seen her sit
by the fire.

Well, actually, we've never had a fire
in our fireplace.

I don't know why.

See? That's good.

You're talking.

And it stopped being a game and become a
conversation.

Sheila, thank you for coming.

Tomorrow we'll be talking about dreams,
how to interpret them and how to learn

from them. So we'll see you then. Have a
great day.

And we're out.

Nice show, guys.

Hey, listen, could you come up to my
office just for a minute?

Oh, Arnie, we got to be at that
supermarket thing in half an hour.

the limo, by the way. It'll only just
take a second.

What's up?

Well, I'd really rather discuss it in my
office.

Oh, man.

This is Arnie. Come on, Arnie. What's
the matter?

You guys have been hearing about the
Sonic Media Communications?

That company that just bought the
station in Kansas City?

Yeah. They bought us. The deal closed
last night.

They, uh... They want to make some
changes.

Changes? The, uh... Your show's
canceled.

What? You're kidding.

Guys, I wish I were.

But they're saying no more local stuff.
Just syndicated talk.

Starting tomorrow.

Are you saying we just did our last
show?

This really stinks, Arnie. We've been
doing the show for 15 years.

You can't just throw us away. I'm not
throwing you away. They are. Just forget

it. Let's get out of here.

Look, I fought for you guys. I did. But
I lost.

And I think once the shock wears off,
you're going to see the other side of

You can sleep in now.

Relax a little bit. Start having a life.

You don't get it, Arnie.

This was our life.

My, my, my. This is really something.

A year's supply of meat.

They must really like you at that
supermarket.

Uh -huh. It's one of the perks of being
a local celebrity.

Well, let's hope they like us enough to
give us a job.

Paper or plastic?

We need a checker up at the front,
please.

I look wonderful in an apron.

Well, you people have had a rough day
today.

And I've seen you keep smiling at the
supermarket and keep smiling at the

hospital and keep smiling with all those
kids.

But you're home now.

And you've probably got a lot of talking
you want to do, so I'll just run along.

Oh, no, no, please, won't you stay for
dinner? I mean, obviously we have a lot

of food.

Yeah, you were so terrific today. I
mean, don't let us send you off without

good meal.

Well, thank you very much, but I've got
to go.

It might freeze tonight.

Now you listen to me.

It's all right to cry.

Because you've lost something very
special.

That show with our baby.

I know.

I think I'll cover the roses.

She said it might freeze.

I want to have these clothes.

I was hoping that you would change your
mind.

Hi, I'm Andrew. This is Monica, and we
hope we're not bothering you, but our

broke down. Oh, of course. Yes, come in.
Come on in.

Great. I hope we're not interrupting
anything.

No, we were just sitting around
wondering what we were going to do

Honey, we have guests.

This is Andrew and Monica.

Their car broke down.

Great! Great!

The party was just starting.

Come on in.

Thanks.

Our guests tonight are Monica and
Andrew, and we'll be discussing the

inviting complete strangers into your
home.

Stay with us. We'll be right back.

This is a marvelous old scotch.

I thought I'd break it out in honor of
our change in circumstances.

Will you have some, uh... Monica.

No, thank you, but perhaps if you have
some coffee?

The coffee that we drink right here on
the show. The show?

Breakfast with the Baxters.

Where are the Baxters?

It's going to be a while before the tow
truck gets here, so we can wait in the

car.

We don't want to be in the way.

Nonsense.

So you've never seen the show?

What show? You're not from around here,
are you?

No. You've never watched WZPZ, Channel
14, the one for Omaha?

You don't know who we are.

Be accurate, darling.

Who we were.

Are you hungry?

Let me see what I have here.

Strangers on a train.

Ships passing through the night.

Meat, meat, meat.

I'm going to make myself another drink.
You, uh, Andrew?

I'll have one.

Uh, ginger ale, please.

Can I help you with something?

Well, I suppose you could chop
something. There's a knife in that

mean, whatever we eat, we'll have to
chop something, right?

We're celebrating, Monica.

Really? Oh, well, in that case, make
that two ginger ales.

We're not celebrating in the strict
sense, of course.

We got fired from our job today.

Panned.

Unceremoniously dumped.

I don't think it could have been any
more humiliating unless they had done it

right on camera while I was getting my
new winter look.

Of course, these things can be blessings
in disguise.

Whoever thought we'd still be in Omaha
after 15 years?

Right, darling? That wasn't the plan,
was it?

Honey, I don't think Monica and Andrew
want to hear about our problem.

You're probably right, honey, but this
is the door they knocked on for shelter

from the storm, and this is the shelter
they're going to get.

And besides that, it'd probably be good
practice for us explaining what

happened, working out the story,
refining the humiliating aspects

in front of people that don't matter.

Well, you know what I mean.

Yeah, yeah, we know what you mean.

What he means is, and I'm not bragging
here, I'm just trying to be honest.

See, we are... Were.

A fixture in this town.

Like a sink or a toilet. Like a
tradition.

Like a traditional toilet.

It's there.

You can count on it. You don't use it
all the time, but when it's not there,

miss it.

May I please explain to our guests?

Sorry, I don't think we've ever had
guests over for dinner before.

Really? I would have thought... Oh,
well, see, we have to get up early, so

to bed early, and there's just no time
to entertain. Early to bed, early to

makes a man healthy, somewhat wealthy by
Omaha standards, and ultimately very,

very wise.

And here is the wisdom in a nutshell,
Andrew.

Stay up late, sleep in, and never trust
anybody.

What do you mean by that?

I mean never trust anybody.

Anyone, my friend.

Or you might find yourself in Omaha
someday without a distal pot to...

Porterhouse. T -bone.

Filet mignon. You know what I would
like?

Meatloaf.

I can't tell you how long it's been
since I've had meatloaf.

Meatloaf. The scotch of the modern
housewife. It's like cream of wheat or

soup. It's comfort food.

My mom made the best meatloaf. You...

Can't make meatloaf. You don't even know
how to cook.

Well, what do you think I was doing on
our show for 15 years in an apron?

You watch people cook and ask pertinent
questions.

How hot, how long, is it always
necessary to preheat a grand legacy of

broadcasting? I'm going down to the
basement.

To cook.

Somewhere down there is a box with my
mother's meatloaf recipe in it. She gave

it to me when we got married.

Can you please leave your mother out of
this?

How long have you been married?

Fifteen glorious years.

And the show?

A talk show, a coffee clash with the
folks next door.

Fifteen years, too.

Marriage, the show.

Hard to imagine one without the other.

Can I put a little bourbon in that for
you?

Oh, no, no, thank you.

So what happened to your chairs?

Chairs? Yeah, you have a dining table,
but you don't have any chairs.

Ah, yes, well, there were chairs once,
but Betsy didn't like them.

I haven't missed them, really. They were
microwavers, mostly.

Early to bed, early to rise.

Exactly.

What is she doing down there?

you doing down there?

I'm looking for the box.

Oh, basements are marvelous inventions.

A great place to give things a decent
burial without actually having to say

they're dead.

You have a lot of stuff, Monica?

No, not even a basement.

Oh, everybody needs a basement.

I suppose there'll be a box down there
soon with Breakfast with the Baxters

written on it. You're taking this loss
very calmly.

Well, no use crying over spilled milk.

Actually, I think that grieving is a
very necessary process.

I disagree.

What's done is done, and you carry on.

Do you?

Of course.

If I'd stopped to cry for everything
that happened to me, well... I don't

believe you can carry on until you have
stopped to cry.

Carrying on is an art.

And art requires sacrifice.

But I don't expect someone without a
basement to understand that.

Here it is.

1985. I got that.

1985.

The Berlin Wall was still up.

Dallas was still on.

We were in love.

The lilacs were in bloom. My mother made
the best meatloaf. It was tomatoes and

onions and eggs and... When lilacs last
in the dooryard bloomed.

Who was that? Carl Sandburg?

Whitman. It was a poem written about the
assassination of Lincoln.

Monica, would you like to help saute the
vegetables? The pan's over here

somewhere. I'd be happy to.

Lincoln. Now, there was something to
grieve for.

And Kennedy.

I cried for Kennedy.

We were Republicans and I was 10, but I
still cried on general principle.

Does that count?

Does what count?

We were discussing grief.

Andrews for.

I'm against.

Only the fireborn understand blue.

Darling, you have to share the non
sequitur with everybody.

Otherwise, it's rude.

I just thought of it.

Carl Sandburg wrote it. Only the
fireborn understand blue. Only Carl

understands that line.

No, I do.

When children draw fire, they use yellow
and red crayons. But fire, real fire,

the hottest part of the fire.

It's at the center where it's blue.

And only someone who has survived fire
can understand how dangerous blue can

That's why they never go near fire
again.

Yes, exactly.

Sounds terribly metaphorical, Monica.

Metaphorical Monica.

Abstaining Andrew, blue Betsy.

Is that why we never have a fire in the
fireplace?

I don't know.

Monica. You talk like a poet.

Betsy was going to be a poet.

And I was going to be... Gosh, I forgot.

Do we have that in the box downstairs
too, honey?

There's an old manila envelope over
there with some of my poetry in it,

if you're interested.

It's probably very sophomoric and silly.

It's easy to find an old recipe.

What was that secret ingredient?

Oregano? So, Andrew, are you guys
married?

No. Oh, there's plenty of time. Plenty
of time. You know you remind me of the

kind of school teacher I used to have.
Because it's a wonderful thing that you

don't want to miss out on.

And you know that single men don't live
as long as married men?

And people with pets, they live longer.
So I can often ask myself, if you're

married with a pet that does that,
double your chances of extending your

this earth? Or do they simply cancel
each other out?

I'm so sorry. I didn't know that was in
there.

I forgot it was there.

What is that?

What does it look like?

Just before we started doing our show,
we were expecting

a baby, but we lost it.

I bought that the day I found out I was
pregnant, but I didn't stay pregnant

very long.

Betsy, why don't you put the box back
downstairs?

No, no. I want to find that form, and I
want to find those recipes. There's

stuff in here I need now. No, you don't.

Leave it alone.

Don't touch it. It's my stuff.

Well, it's my stuff, too.

Well, right.

Now you care.

Actually, I don't.

I just want to put the box away.

Of course you do.

God forbid we should even think about
it.

Why don't you go outside and prune your
stupid roses?

You don't know.

You don't know.

Want to bet?

Only the fireborn understand, Boo.

Huh?

You think I haven't felt the heat all
these years?

You think I haven't been burned, too?

You actually think I'm stupid enough to
believe for 15 years that we lost that

baby?

We lost that baby the same way we lost
breakfast with the Baxters. We didn't

lose it.

That baby just got canceled.

Didn't it?

Didn't it?

You canceled it, didn't you?

They're not supposed to live this long
in this kind of weather.

There it is.

Holding on.

I bet they're beautiful in the spring.

So what kind of work do you do, Andrew?

Non -profit.

Long -term planning.

Short -term troubleshooting.

Well, how does that work?

It works just fine, actually.

Speaking of long -term planning, how
long were you planning on staying out

Until I figure it all out, I guess.

Haven't you had 15 years to do that?

Well, I didn't know the truth before.

Really?

That's not what it sounded like in
there.

Short -term troubleshooter, huh?

Strangers on a train, right?

ships passing in the night I'll be gone
in a few hours

I

Put the meatloaf in the oven I used my
own recipe.

I hope you don't mind no

I can't remember how the end of this
goes.

The Vault Tree, doesn't it?

By Sibelius.

It's hard to imagine a couple dancing to
something called The Sad Waltz.

It's so beautiful, though.

There's a story behind it. I can't quite
remember it.

It's the composer falling asleep at his
piano and dreaming of his

dead mother.

And she comes to him in spirit.

And at that moment, she is so real, so
alive.

And then the dawn comes, and he has to
wake up, and she has to go back to

wherever it is they go.

The ones you lose, they have to go
somewhere, don't they?

Yes.

And that's the part I can't remember.

The end.

When he wakes up and can't hold on to
the dream.

That's why you should stay asleep as
long as you can.

We were engaged living in Boston.

Two very ambitious wannabes looking for
TV news jobs somewhere.

Anywhere. Just as long as we were
together.

Jobs like that are practically
impossible to find for one person, you

alone two.

And then we get this dream offer to go
to Omaha.

And it's perfect.

I mean, it was the big break that we
needed.

So we're packing, getting ourselves
ready to come out here, and all of a

she looks up and tells me she's
pregnant.

Not part of the plan.

A hydrogen bomb dropped directly on the
planet.

So I guess I didn't handle it very well.

I didn't want to deal with it. I wasn't
very sensitive. She got hurt.

It was just... Anyway, I ended up going
alone to this wedding on the vineyard

that we were both supposed to go to over
the weekend.

And when I got back, that's when she
told you that she lost

the baby.

Lost.

Had some clinic, I guess.

I figured one day when she was ready to
talk about it, she would.

But she never mentioned it again.

And neither did you?

No.

It was just such a relief.

I put it behind me.

And carried on.

I think it saved our marriage.

Bud and I have never really talked about
the baby thing.

And tonight of all nights, I mean, our
show falls apart and this has to come

It makes perfect sense.

It does?

You experienced a terrible loss today.

You work together for 15 years on
something that was taken away from you

moment. You need to grieve over that
together.

But how can you when you haven't even
finished grieving the loss that happened

before?

I don't feel like I deserve to grieve.

I know what I did, and I know why I did
it.

Sometimes you do things you think you'll
never do.

My life started falling apart. I just
wanted to make it stop.

I just didn't know then what it would
feel like now.

We had a plan, you know.

Do the show a couple of years.

Get our careers going.

The babies would come later.

It's later.

You know, Monica, they can talk all they
want to about politics and rights and

choices. I did.

But when you're in that little room and
you're putting your clothes

back on, you know that when you walk out
that door,

you're leaving a little piece of your
soul behind and you will never, ever get

it back.

He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul.

No.

Not for me.

Not for me.

I would have talked about it if she just
brought it up, you know?

But she never did.

Yeah, but neither did you.

She didn't want me to.

Well, how would you know that if you
never...

Talk to her. It was understood.

Then why are you so angry? I don't know.

Maybe because she made the decision in
the first place without talking to me.

But it sounds like that you weren't even
there for her to talk to.

Hey, she didn't want me there.

Did she say that?

Or was it something that was, what,
understood?

What difference does it make? It was a
long time ago.

You know, I have stood at this window
and imagined what life would have been

like if there had been a swing set out
there instead of a rose garden.

Jackie Kennedy had a rose garden and a
swing set, and life still didn't turn

the way she wanted it to.

She was a hero of mine when I was
little.

All that pain.

And she never let them see her cry.

Good girls don't cry, you mean?

Good girls...

don't do a lot of things until they do.

There he goes again, back and forth and
back and forth.

What has he got to be angry about?

It's hard to lose the lie that you've
grown comfortable with.

But I didn't actually lie to him. I
didn't actually tell him the truth

but he knew all along, didn't he?

He knew and he didn't say anything.

He just let me carry it around inside me
for 15 years.

And he never said anything.

He wasn't there for me when I needed
him.

He hasn't been there since.

He's been here in Omaha.

God, will we ever get out of Omaha.

I'm going out.

Of course you are. Don't forget your
coat.

What is that supposed to mean?

That means that you always forget your
coat when you make one of your little

escapes. I am not escaping.

Hey, you got something you want to say?

Say it. You went to the wedding. You
came back. You never asked me what

happened. You didn't want me to.

Oh, you didn't want to know because you
didn't want to share the responsibility.

It wasn't my body. It was your child.

Oh, right.

That is so typical.

It's your body.

And it's your decision until you want
somebody to blame. I'm not trying to

anybody. I'm just trying to deal with
this.

Fifteen years later and you're still
dealing with it? Come on. You didn't

that baby any more than I do.

Did.

Did you hear yourself?

What? Are you analyzing me now?

I'm the bad guy, right?

It's all about me? Well, let me make it
easier for you.

I'm taking me out of the picture. The
show's over, and so are we.

But where are the suitcases?

The basement.

Figures.

You know, that may well be the first
fire that's ever been in there.

There's something about a fire that
changes the room, don't you think?

Mm -hmm.

It adds a certain life.

Meatloaf smells good.

I hope it tastes good.

I'm not a very good cook.

You'd have to try pretty hard to mess up
a meatloaf. That's what my mother

always said, anyway.

Oh, I found it.

The recipe.

So what was the secret ingredient?

You know, I looked, but I don't see
anything special in there.

Maybe it just tasted better because it
was my mom's.

I'm sure you're right.

And I'm a pack rat, just like she was.

I have saved everything.

Recipes and clippings, poetry.

Little souvenirs to pass on to someone
someday.

Aren't you tired of listening to me?

Not at all.

Well, I am.

What are you doing?

What does it look like?

Does this make you feel better?

Monica, I can't feel anything at all.
Betsy, please don't.

I never was much of a poet.

Would you like to do the honors?

Have you heard of...

Post -abortion syndrome.

Difficulty sleeping.

Difficulty with intimacy.

Workaholism.

Inability to relax. Inability to bond
with children and husbands.

Difficulty feeling anything at all.

And it can go on for years, Betsy.

Five. Ten.

Even fifteen.

the price you pay.

No, it's a consequence of a choice that
you make. It's not a punishment from

God. That's not how he works.

You believe in God, don't you?

Yes, I do.

And if you were me and you prayed to
God, what would he tell you to do?

I believe that he would ask you to open
your heart to him, to tell him how you

feel and to ask him to help you heal.

That means you have to talk, Betsy.

Really talk.

To God and to your husband.

Losing your job today may have been a
blessing.

Now you're both back where you started
with a chance of a new beginning.

Only it needs forgiveness.

You ask for it and you give it.

I tried to talk to Bud about it once,
but I didn't know how to start.

So I wrote him a poem, but I couldn't
give it to him.

Well, you can give it to him now.

I can't.

I just burned it.

Is this it?

How did you... It wasn't too late.

You found them?

Yeah. Off to the bedroom to pack your
new winter look.

Seems sort of appropriate that we do
this in front of an audience, doesn't

Before we leave, may I... May I ask a
question?

What?

Well, it's just that I still don't
understand why you never had any chairs

around your dining room table.

Well, for God's sakes, we better get
that settled before I leave this

Anybody want to take that? Yes.

We did have chairs once.

It was our first dinner together in our
new home.

And I lit the candles and we sat down.

Terrible silence.

We just didn't have anything to say.

No.

We had everything to say.

We were just afraid to start.

And Bud stood up in the middle of
dinner.

And he announced that the chairs just
weren't too comfortable.

And he walked into the kitchen and he
finished his dinner right at the kitchen

counter.

And I sat there.

All by myself at the table.

And I knew we would never, ever find the
right chairs.

I can't do this.

I just don't see the point in it. The
point is that I love you.

And you love me. I know it.

Oh, buddy, there is something to fight
for.

We have to yell and scream and cry if
that's what it takes.

Listen. Just listen to this.

I wrote this years ago for you, but I
just could never... Just listen.

Monica, please.

Let me break it in half and give some to
you.

I cannot eat it all day after day.

I swallow earthen, gagging on pieces of
my grief.

Conceived without hunger, delivered
without grace.

It is never enough to fill this empty
belly.

Come.

Sit at the table and share this terrible
communion we have prepared.

This is my body.

This is your wine. Say the words. Taste
the blood.

And let's finish this meal.

May I please be excused to sit by the
fire and rock.

the invisible sorrow to sleep until the
flames die and the faces in the

blue go away.

I'm sorry, Beth.

you understand why I can't talk about
it.

I'm afraid, Vince.

I'm so afraid if I start to talk, I'll
start to cry.

I'll cry about who we were and who we
lost.

And then I'll just lose it and I'll just
go crazy.

So I go outside and I grab a shovel.

Plant another rose bush instead.

My God.

I can't stop crying or I'll go someplace
crazy.

And I won't find my way back.

Yes,

you will.

The journey back has already begun.

You've been entertaining angels.

We are angels.

Messengers from God.

Why?

Because God loves you.

He knows everything.

And he still loves you.

God could have made a very different
kind of world, you know.

With people who never made mistakes,
never thought for themselves, and

did only what God wanted them to do all
the time.

But then there wouldn't have been any
free will.

And without the freedom to love, love is
not a choice.

And that is a choice that God gives you
every day.

But I didn't take it, did I?

Betsy, 15 years ago you made a choice.

And but one way or another, you helped
her to make that choice. And God did not

send us here to judge you and punish you
for that.

God wants you to know that he is life
itself.

And that he holds all the life there was
and is, and is to be in his

hand already.

And yes, there was a future that might
have been that you chose to change.

And for whatever reason, you chose not
to include God in that decision.

But he asks you now to include him in
the next one that you make.

Because he understands your pain.

Because no one knows better the
invisible sorrow that you still

carry in your heart than no one wants to
heal you more.

All you have to do is sit down at your
table together.

And invite him to join you.

Are you ready to go?

Yes.

Something tells me that car is going to
start right up.