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Hi, I'm David Faustino, Bud Bundy,
Merriwood Children. This is what happens
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I drink. My money's gone, my mother's a
midget, and my wife left me for my
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neighbor, Julio. This is my best friend,
Corin Emmett, former star of TV's
4
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Parker Lewis Can't Lose. He did lose.
5
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My manager's been with me since I was in
diapers. Now he's in diapers.
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When I'm not trying to kill myself, I
run a porn shop left to me by a crazed
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fan. Oh, and I'm also freakishly short.
Thanks, God.
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A little lonely present over here.
9
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Ooh.
10
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Shake it.
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Yeah.
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Oh, it's, uh... It's glue.
13
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Really strong glue. Next time your teeth
fall out, you can just glue them back
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in. Oh, I got one right here in my
pocket.
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See? Suddenly not having any dental
insurance is no big deal, huh?
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Let's see.
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Let's see. You got there.
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You fooled me.
19
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Nice, Andy. For you, huh?
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You forgot about me.
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What do we got here?
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Five minute mini therapy session.
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What the fuck do I need therapy for?
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Dave, you're very angry.
25
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No, I'm not.
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Yeah, you are.
27
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No, I'm not.
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All right, maybe you're right.
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I'm sorry about that hit. I will go to
therapy, I promise, and I'll work on
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that. I really apologize.
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It's time for your session.
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Yeah.
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How are you? Good.
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Dr. Lipschitz. I'm David. Nice to meet
you. Come on in, David.
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Get on the bed, you little bitch.
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Fucking corn.
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It's my goddamn bed!
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You dick, cocksucker, pussy ass!
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No, no, no!
40
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Enough!
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Enough!
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Come! Come!
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That's my wife.
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She runs the S &M business in the house,
too.
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Then she's sucking up all my clients.
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How can I compete with that?
47
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Well, you could say...
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Nothing.
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Okay.
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We've only got five minutes, you cheap
fuck.
51
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So what's your problem?
52
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Anger. Oh, I can understand that.
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You're short, you're ugly, you have no
future, and you have a tiny little dick.
54
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Who told you I have a tiny little dick?
55
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My wife texted me.
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I can still hear her laughing.
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Maybe that's why she didn't suck me off.
58
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No, I don't think so.
59
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Anyway, time's almost up.
60
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But what do you do?
61
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Oh, I'm an actor, a comedian.
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I was on a show for 11 years, Bud Bundy
from Married with Children.
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Yeah, I don't know you.
64
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Anyway, I think I have a solution for
you.
65
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I have a brother, a twin brother.
66
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He runs a network.
67
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A network?
68
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What network?
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Al Juheda. Al Juheda? The network that
hates Jews?
70
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Wow, that's big time.
71
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Oh, yeah, it's real big time.
72
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I'd like to adapt better than I am. This
room of a bitch is too hot.
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I don't know how you people stand it. I
like that towel you're wearing. I bet
74
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that's cooler than what I got on.
75
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What's your idea now? Well, I want to
have something like the greatest hit of
76
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Osama bin Laden.
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Get out of here now.
78
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These fucking Jews, they never pay me.
79
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What'd you say? Wait, hey, what?
80
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What'd you say? I say you still owe me
for 9 -11.
81
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You keep your fucking mouth shut, boy.
82
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:02,580
I'll call you when I need you.
83
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,020
Yeah, who are you guys?
84
00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:07,919
Mr. Lipschitz?
85
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:08,920
Yeah.
86
00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:13,430
David Postino, Corin Nemec, your
brother, Mr. Lipschitz. Oh, my brother
87
00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:15,850
you? Yeah, did he tell you he was going
to send you? Yeah, he said he was
88
00:05:15,850 --> 00:05:18,510
sending a couple of schmucks over here.
I said, what do you want?
89
00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:23,090
Okay, we thought a new show for Al
Juheda would be great. You know, both of
90
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:26,170
are big stars in Hollywood. He's bigger,
but, you know. You may have seen some
91
00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:28,970
of our work. David Postino, Bud Bundy,
Married with Children, 11 Seasons.
92
00:05:29,190 --> 00:05:30,230
Oh, yeah. Parker Lewis.
93
00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:32,749
That's shit.
94
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:33,569
That's shit.
95
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I got an idea. I just had an idea. You
two are the new odd couple.
96
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:44,720
You guys are about as odd as they come.
But this time, you've got a next -door
97
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neighbor who's a fag Middle Easterner.
And we're going to use Osama bin Laden
98
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that role.
99
00:05:52,180 --> 00:05:53,800
Osama bin Laden? Yeah, yeah.
100
00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:56,460
Now, hey, bring Osama back in here.
101
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Bring him back.
102
00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,400
Come here, O.
103
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Bud Bundy.
104
00:06:03,220 --> 00:06:07,860
I'm a very big fan of yours. I watch
your show all the time. Yes.
105
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,380
Well, it's nice to meet you.
106
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,280
All right, we're going to do a new
series.
107
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:17,340
It's going to be The Odd Couple. You
remember The Odd Couple? It doesn't
108
00:06:17,540 --> 00:06:20,960
Anyway, this is The Odd Couple. You're
going to be their next -door fag
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00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,500
neighbor. Come again? It's going to be a
fantastic idea.
110
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It is kind of funny, but it's not that
funny, okay?
111
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:30,520
Yeah, yeah.
112
00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:31,540
What's the problem?
113
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I'm not comfortable playing a gay
neighbor. Oh, you'll get comfortable.
114
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We're going to make it.
115
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:40,500
Look, I would really love to do this
with Bud Bundy as one of Al Juheda's
116
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project is. You three.
117
00:06:42,580 --> 00:06:45,380
Al Juheda? It's a good show? Yeah, Al
Juheda.
118
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The new idea.
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The new odd couple. Thank you, Mr.
Lipschitz. It was a pleasure. Very good.
120
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Yeah, we'll talk to you. Bye -bye.
121
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Congratulations.
122
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Oh.
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Dead man, Bundy.
124
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What the hell did you do? Well, he said
that... You know what you just did? That
125
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:11,400
was a compliment. That's Osama Bin
Laden. You spat on him, you dumb
126
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told me that was a compliment? Maybe it
is. That's disgraceful.
127
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That sucks.
128
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What about our show? You're a disgrace
to your country. God, get out of here!
129
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,160
And we're back.
130
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:28,440
Welcome to Cave Talk.
131
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I'm your host, Osama Bin Laden. If you
don't like my show, I kill you.
132
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He's Jew of all Jews.
133
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:36,980
Michael Richard.
134
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,740
Michael Richard is on my show.
135
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,900
You crack me up. Go ahead and you crack
me up.
136
00:07:43,460 --> 00:07:44,460
He's so loud.
137
00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:46,860
What did you do to my poppy seeds?
138
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I smoked them.
10383
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