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Hi, I'm David Faustino, Bud Bundy,
Merriwood Children.
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This is what happens when I drink. My
money's gone, my mother's a midget, and
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wife left me for my neighbor, Julio.
This is my best friend, Corin Nemec,
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star of TV's Parker Lewis Can't Lose. He
did lose. My manager's been with me
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since I was in diapers. Now he's in
diapers.
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When I'm not trying to kill myself, I
run a porn shop left to me by a crazed
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fan. Oh, and I'm also freakishly short.
Thanks, God.
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Dave,
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man, you need some therapy. Where's
Sergeant Rosenbaum?
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He's in Iraq.
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Again, you believe it? He left me here.
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I mean, it could die.
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that insurance in over ten years, okay?
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Oh, I know someone.
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Come on, Dave, my old gang counselor
from my youth.
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There's a lot you don't know about me,
bro.
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Where have you been, anyway?
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I was taking it in the Alps.
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Taking it in the what?
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Chinese guy, right? The motherfucking
Chinese guy looked up the black
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right? He said, oh, I thought we don't
serve nigga here.
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You know what I'm saying? There's killer
folks in the hood.
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You know, it's Thanksgiving, bitch. And
up in the car, you up in the car.
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You know, I'm going to bust it up into
my crib and shit and just, like, beat my
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mom down with a bat. And then they gang
rape my sister.
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That nigga know I got two crates, man.
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I can't get that nigga like that.
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My grandmama, nigga.
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Go ahead, little homie.
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It's your turn, Dave.
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That'll come from your heart.
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Well, I was on a show, a TV show for 11
years, and I
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didn't get any residual.
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What the fuck is a residual?
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Y 'all motherfuckers know who this is,
right? That's Green!
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No, motherfuckers, no!
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That's motherfucking Grandmaster B, Bob
Bundy, motherfuckers!
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Hey,
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wait up here, man. Hold me right here.
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Oh, okay. You hear me?
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He said, since you the motherfucking
comedian, then you must motherfucking
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jokes. You start.
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It's joke time!
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What the black dude get on his SAT tag?
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Barbecue sauce.
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Nigga.
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What? What?
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Nigga.
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Nigga.
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Nigga.
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Nigga. Hey, hey, hey.
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Nigga.
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Nigga.
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What the fuck you just said?
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You about to get your ass whooped.
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Let's go whoop his hunky butt.
4193
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