All language subtitles for Touched By An Angel s05e19 Jagged Edges

Sure do appreciate your help, Andrew.

Sometimes it just seems like there's not
enough hours in the day to do

everything that he's doing.

Well, Doug, it's no problem. Looks like
it's not even going to need a second

coat.

What did you call that color again?

Eggshell.

That's what the world needs, different
shades of white.

It's a very subtle difference.

It's been a long time since this house
was a real home.

Anybody else out there have a father
who's a do -it -yourselfer?

You know the kind. You ask him to do
something, he says, do it yourself.

Well, that was my dad.

Not that I don't understand where he was
coming from. He had his hands full

raising the demure flower you see before
you.

Okay, what's next on the list?

Come with me.

Yeah, my life wasn't exactly normal
growing up with my father. Most girls

Barbie dolls.

I had a pipe wrench.

Her name was Susan.

Her stories are very funny.

It's a trick she discovered a long time
ago, baby girl.

How to use humor to take the edge off
the truth.

Well, everyone has to face the truth
head on eventually.

You offered.

Isn't this kind of a big project to be
starting this late?

We don't sit around very well in this
family.

You know, someplace in here is a box
with my daughter's things.

Clothes, pictures, memories.

I need to find it, Andrew.

It's important.

I've got to find it.

at tea parties, but she could change at
a toilet in 12 minutes.

Susan lived in the Malibu toolbox alone.

Yeah, she was adjustable. She could take
care of herself. She didn't need a pair

of pliers breathing down her stem.

What's happening?

You're having a heart attack.

I know that you're in a lot of pain, but
it's not going to last long.

911 has been called.

But they're not going to make it here in
time.

You're the angel of death.

But you've been with me for a while.

Why?

You prayed for help to bring your family
home again.

And God answered your prayer with
angels.

That wasn't that bad.

You were great.

Thank goodness. From the look on your
face, I thought somebody died.

Natalie, your husband just got a call
from someone in Chicago.

Your father suffered a massive heart
attack.

He's gone.

What?

I'm sorry.

When you walk down the road,

heavy burden, heavy load, I

will ride and I will walk with you.

I'll walk with you till the sun don't
even shine.

Walk with you every time.

I tell you I'll walk with you.

Believe me I'll walk with you.

Andrew. Yeah. You're Natalie, right?

Let me give you a hand.

All right. All right.

That's it. Next rental car I get, I'm
definitely saying no to the mechanical

problems out there.

You want me to give it a try?

Okay.

Hey.

What's up, little one?

Come here.

There we go.

Big girl.

That's Lily.

Hey, Lily.

It's been a long day, huh?

She doesn't talk yet, but she's got a
banshee scream that'll knock your socks

off. So, uh, you want me to help you
with the bags?

Do you play?

No, neither did my dad.

My mom played a lot, but she died when I
was really young.

I always wanted to sell this thing and
put in a table saw instead, but my dad

wouldn't part with it.

Well, some people just don't like to
part with their memories.

Natalie, you okay?

Natalie, you okay? Yeah.

Better put her down for a nap.

Okay.

Okay. There you go.

I found a crib in the garage, and I set
it up for you upstairs in your old

bedroom. Okay, thanks.

Have you given much thought as to what
you're going to do about the house?

Sell it as quickly as possible. I've got
a career to get back to.

And a family.

Maybe.

My husband and I have been thinking
about a trial separation.

Whoa.

It's rough timing.

It's all right.

I do fine on my own.

Maybe better even.

Brian deserves to have somebody who's a
little more hands -on.

We'll see.

Time will tell. Que sera, sera and all
that.

You know, it's going to take you a while
to go through everything.

There's probably a lot of stuff around
here with sentimental value.

Not really.

It's mostly junk.

My dad held on to everything.

His mantra was, you never know when this
will come in handy.

My dad was part pack rat and part
fortune cookie.

Natalie.

I was with your dad when he died.

And I don't know if this helps or not,
but his last thoughts were of you.

Yeah? Yeah.

He was looking for a box of your things.

What kind of things?

I don't know.

He just said it was really important
that he find it.

You know, that garage is pretty crowded,
but I'd be glad to help you go through

it if you want.

No, I'm not going into that garage.

I'll get the door.

I'll check the baby.

Hello. I'm Monica.

And I'm Natalie.

Let me save you some time here. I don't
need any cleaning supplies, greeting

cards, or vacuum cleaners.

I'm not much on makeup, and I've already
heard the truth.

But what I do need is to be left alone
so I can get a little peace and quiet.

So whatever you're selling, thanks, but
no thanks.

Actually, I'm here to see Andre.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Come on in. He's upstairs with the baby.

Thank you.

She's definitely not the let's take a
little stroll down memory lane type.

When do you think she'll be ready?

I think...

I think it's going to take some time.

A few more pots and pans and that's one
room done.

What's up to this?

Well, there's always a garage.

You know what?

I think I've had enough for today.

You have any plans tonight? Big date
with Monica, maybe?

Oh, no.

No, Monica's the friend.

Oh, it's okay, Marie.

Yes.

I'm sorry.

I don't mean to yell. It's just... She
just... She seems to be into everything

these days.

I don't know how a mother is supposed to
handle this stuff.

Well, just try to imagine being this age
again. I mean, this whole world is new.

And it's very interesting, and you just
want to go explore everything. Who

wouldn't?

You know what I need?

I think I need to just get away from
this.

Maybe going to town, see if I can get a
workout in.

You want to bundle up chuckles there and
come with me, maybe?

You want Lily and me to go with you to
the gym?

Not that kind of workout.

I'm a new mother.

Thank you.

Nice to hear a loud noise that doesn't
sound like a fire truck coming at you.

I don't know if any of you have kids,
but if you do, I think you know the

I mean.

Now,

parents, back me up on this.

If you listen to this sound for too
long, it can really mess you up bad.

Well, I'm not saying kids are a bad
idea.

They should just come with a mute
button.

It's all over now, you know.

No, it's not.

Did you take your medication?

What for?

You're supposed to put them in your
mouth and swallow them.

What's the point?

Do it for tests, baby. Come on, do it
for tests.

I got you a new puzzle.

You want to work on it until the
medication kicks in? No more kitties.

No, this is a landscape, Inspector.

Trees and flowers.

And shouldn't there be some kind of
instruction manual that

explains how this whole thing is
supposed to work?

How's she doing?

Not so good, baby.

How do you think she'll react to seeing
Natalie?

I don't even know how Natalie's going to
react finding out her mother's alive.

Just playing through?

That's good. It's funny.

It's a living.

You know, I gotta admit, I was kind of
surprised last night, you being a

comedian and all, because Doug was so...
Not funny?

Yeah.

My dad wasn't much of a jokester.

He took life pretty seriously.

But, hey, we all deal with life
differently, don't we?

True. I make a few jokes, and... my dad
used to golf.

He used to lug those things out every
Sunday.

Rain or shine, he was more regular than
a mail carrier on a bran muffin diet.

Natalie, we need to talk.

Uh -oh.

Am I grounded?

Your father was getting ready to tell
you something.

And it's something that you still need
to know.

Saved by the bell.

It's probably Monica. I asked her to
come over here.

Excuse me.

Hello.

Natalie, did I mention to you that
Monica is a patient advocate over at

Riverwood Hospital?

Does this have something to do with my
father's death?

No, this is about your mother.

My mother died in a car crash a long
time ago when I was just a kid.

Natalie, your mother is alive.

What?

That's what your father was getting
ready to tell you.

No.

It doesn't make any sense.

I mean, where's she been for over 20
years?

She's been at Riverwood Hospital.

For 20 years? I mean, come on, even an
HMO can get you in and out quicker than

that.

Natalie, there are lots of different
wards at Riverwood, and some are

to treat people and get them home, and
others are for more permanent

residents.

Natalie, this is Tess.

Nice to meet you, Tess.

Your mother has suffered severe
depression, and she's kept herself

own delusions for a long time.

The medication has evened out her
emotional state, but the doctors still

been able to break through her traumatic
amnesia.

She's making a lot of progress, but as
Monica said, there's still a gap.

Such as?

You know she won't recognize you.

Well, I have done a little growing in 20
years.

It's not that, baby.

She thinks you're dead.

Guess that makes us even, then.

It's a joke.

See?

My dad told me she was dead.

Never mind.

Well, seeing you might bring some new
awareness, but, you know, it could be

traumatic for you, too.

Oh.

Oh, really?

You mean finding out my mother is alive
and insane is going to be a walk in the

park compared to what you have in mind
for me next?

Yes.

You've got a visitor, Amanda.

A friend.

You're very pretty.

Thanks.

Perhaps she could help you finish your
puzzle.

Do you like to do puzzles?

It's been a long time since I did one.

Doug and I used to do them all the time
together.

You have to start with the corner pieces
first.

Then the side pieces.

You know how to do it.

My dad taught me.

What's your name?

It's Natalie.

Natalie? Natalie?

You all right?

She was putting that puzzle together
just like my dad and I used to do it.

And then when I told her my name, she
got upset and went to the piano, just

she used to.

She always went to the piano.

And that song.

She's come a long way, Natalie, but she
still has a long road to travel.

I know.

I know.

Nothing's ever easy, is it?

Wow.

You've actually made some progress in
here.

I keep looking for that box of stuff of
yours your dad was talking about. So

far, really.

Haven't found anything that fits the
bill.

Don't sweat it, Andrew. I think I
already got what my dad wanted me to

Aren't you even a little curious?

I don't know.

Come on, give me a hand. It'll be like a
treasure hunt.

Come on.

Don't worry about it. I'll go check on
Lily. Just keep looking.

Mommy? Where are we going?

I think we're going bye -bye.

Okay? Why isn't Daddy coming? I think
we're going bye -bye.

Okay? No, Mom!

We're going bye -bye.

Bye -bye.

me, Andrew.

She tried to kill me.

Natalie!

Hello, Natalie.

Did Andrew send you?

Are you all right?

I still haven't picked out the
headstone.

They said it takes six months to get it
made and engraved and everything.

Guess I ought to get it going, but I
just can't think of what to put on it.

How about the truth?

Douglas Randolph, devoted husband and
father.

Why didn't he tell me?

He wanted to protect you.

He wanted all your memories of your
mother to be good ones.

It wasn't a good decision, but it was a
loving one.

He knew he would have to tell you before
he brought her home and the time was

coming. Why didn't you tell me?

Telling you would not have been the same
as remembering.

Well, I remembered all right.

I could never piece it together before.

I was so young.

I just... I couldn't help her.

Why, she's been in a hospital all this
time.

She was found guilty of child
endangerment and sentenced to a medical

For 20 years?

For an undetermined amount of time,
until she was capable of returning to

family. But she didn't just wake up one
day and decide to pile the family into

the garage and turn on the carbon
monoxide, right?

I mean, this woman had some problems.

Yes.

Probably going back to her own
childhood.

And then she lost a baby in childbirth.

A boy would have been your little
brother.

I... I never knew.

It wasn't her fault that the baby died.

But nevertheless, she tormented herself
with guilt.

She fell into a deep well of sorrow and
self -recrimination that was so

overwhelming, it became an illness.

And the only way to kill the illness,
she believed, was to kill herself.

And in her tragically disturbed mind,
she couldn't leave without you.

She remembers all this?

She remembers everything except that
you're alive.

Somewhere she knows that's true, but she
doesn't want to believe it.

What do you remember?

Not much. The car, the smell of the
fumes, the cold.

I was scared and confused.

I... Saw some things in a box that my
father saved for me, and they triggered

what little I do remember.

Oh, and there was a metronome, you know,
those timekeepers that piano players

use? That's what I really remember about
her. I mean, she was always turning

that thing on and playing the piano. I
mean, always.

Like she had to.

Didn't matter how much I cried or how
much I tried to crawl into her lap and

her attention. She just kept...

Like, if she stopped, something terrible
would happen.

I guess... maybe that day she stopped.

It's important that you remember that.
And that could help Amanda, knowing that

she tried to fight and her daughter
remembers the struggle.

No.

No, I... I'm not going back there again.

She tried to kill me.

I've... I've lived this long without
knowing about that, without knowing her.

I just assume... Leave... Leave that
alone.

You can't.

Natalie, you can't put back what you
found in that box.

Your father wasn't saving it for you.

You remember this lady?

Yes, she came to visit me.

That's right. And she's brought you some
things to look at.

Things from your old house.

Oh.

Do you live there now?

I'm visiting there.

What do you got in the box?

Well... I've found some things in the
garage.

Oh.

I haven't seen this in years.

Oh, look at this.

This is beautiful. Look at this.

Did you make this, Samantha?

Yeah.

I like to keep busy.

What about this?

Did you make this, too?

Yes.

She made it for me.

There's no need to be afraid, Amanda.

Go on, baby. Go ahead.

Bye.

I found some other things at the house,
Amanda.

Here's some pictures of Natalie when she
was five, six, and seven years old.

Your daughter grew up, Amanda.

And here I am in seventh grade.

And in twelfth grade, I graduated from
high school.

Your daughter didn't die in the garage,
Amanda.

And it's all right for you to know that.

Go on, baby, go on. I won this Miss
Pallet Show in college.

I'm a comedian now.

I just stand up in clubs.

And you're married, and you have a
family.

Yes. Your little girl grew up, Amanda.

She didn't die.

right to hug her i'm not really big on
hugs look i i

really gotta be somewhere natalie no
really i'm glad

i could help but i i really i gotta do
something don't go back to the club stay

here and feel what's happening i can't i
know it's frightening but you're

running away just like your mother
always ran to the piano to avoid real

but in the end Playing the piano didn't
work for her, and someday, telling jokes

won't work for you, and then what will
you do?

I'm not like her!

I'm so proud of you, baby.

I know it's scary, but from now on,
things are just going to get better and

better.

Speaking of dogs, Have you ever noticed,
if you blow on a dog's nose, you know,

like right on his snout, you know, oh,
he hates that. It drives him crazy. You

know, they can't stand that. You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. Just give me a hug.

Roll down the window and drive like 90
miles an hour.

What's the first thing he does?

He sticks his head out the window.

Oh, life is confusing.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, we've got another
terrific surprise for you tonight.

Another terrific performer, very funny,
from New York City. Please give a big

hand to Natalie Billings. Give her a big
hand, Natalie.

Hey, Dan.

I'm not really a visitor to Chicago. I
was born here.

I moved to New York a few years ago
because, frankly, New York has better...

Toddling town.

What is that?

You, sir, were you born in Chicago?

Have you ever toddled once?

I've got my own theories, but I want to
hear from you people.

Have you ever been arrested for
toddling?

Have you ever been accused of toddling?

Actually, it must be a good thing if
it's a song, right?

Whoa.

I have a four -year -old.

Four -year -old?

Okay.

Let's see,

where were we?

I'm not from Chicago. I left. I mean, I
am from Chicago. I left. And, you

know.

If you've got a four -year -old at home,
she's wondering where you are

right now.

I mean, what are you doing here?

I mean, little kids are really
sensitive.

paramedics involved.

She's a nice lady, you know?

I'm glad you called.

Just

take

all the time you want. I'll be in my
office if you need anything.

Thank you.

Natalie?

Where's my baby?

Lily's with Tess.

She likes you. She doesn't like me.

No, that's not true.

Lily loves you.

And she needs you.

Just like you loved and needed your
mother.

And just like your mother, you can't be
there for Lily right now.

Until you get through all the pain
inside.

you to listen to what Monica and I have
to say.

Am I having a nervous breakdown?

In a way, yes.

For so long, you've worked so hard to
keep from remembering the truth that

you finally had to face it all at once,
you've been overwhelmed by emotions you

haven't allowed yourself to feel for 25
years.

It's just a lot to process.

You did not inherit her illness, but you
have inherited the consequences of it.

My mother tried to kill me.

Your mother tried to end her pain.

You were just too young then to
understand that, so you developed a way

survive such a rejection.

You stopped feeling anything altogether.

God gave you a talent, Natalie.

A great humor.

Although he never intended for you to
use it to keep yourself from your own

heart or your own child.

I'm having a breakdown and you're
talking about God?

Breakdowns don't have to be complete,
Natalie.

Not tomorrow.

And in the weeks to come, there'll be
doctors and nurses there to support you

and help you climb back up.

You've got two angels here.

And we're here to help you grab onto the
first rung of that ladder.

It's called hope.

And it's a gift from God.

Do you know that before you came
tonight, I sat here

and I prayed for the first time in my
life?

Yes.

God truly loves you, Natalie.

God gave you a sound mind and he knows
everything in it.

But sometimes the tragedies of this
world twist minds and hearts.

And sometimes you have to break down the
false life that you've built to survive

before you can build a new way to truly
live.

It's going to be hard.

But you get to choose what to keep and
what to break down.

Don't let it break you down.

It hurts so much to remember all

the times I tried to get her.

I was so afraid to love my baby, and I
never knew why.

Thank you so much for coming. We have
some very entertaining entertainment.

And the best part of all is that it's
free.

Free? It's $700 a day here just for us,
friends.

Ladies and gentlemen, here for her final
performance, the comedy stylings of

Natalie Billings.

Been a long time since they let me go
this far.

I've got something I want you to see.

Is it something good?

Have I ever led you wrong?

How would I know, Jess?

Touché, touché.

Woo -hoo! I just flew in from the psych
ward!

I didn't actually fly in.

I just wanted to make sure you knew I
knew that.

I'm scheduled to go home today. I
wouldn't want anything to get in the

You're a good -looking crowd.

I haven't seen so many slippers since
the After Father's Day sale at Walmart.

But how embarrassing is it for me to
come in and see 30 other people wearing

outfit?

I asked for something a little fancier.
I tried on some jackets, but the sleeves

were too long.

used to being upstaged i'm a new mother
i have a beautiful daughter her name is

lily she's with her father right now and
what's most amazing to me is how much

i miss having her around everything's a
reminder the crying the screaming the

yelling spitting up

He'll be right back.

Oh, wonderful.

Some things are inherited to me.

Mom, I didn't tell you this before, but
I was scared to death that I had what

you had.

Turns out that's not what I got from
you, but I did get something.

I got your sense of humor, and it saved
my life.

You didn't see your mama?

Here's something else I wouldn't have if
it weren't for you.

Want to say hi to your grandma?

You want to hold her?

Brian's waiting for you in the car.

We've been talking and I think we're
going to be okay.

What a cute little girl.

What a sweet little girl.

In a few months.