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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,707 Previously on The Last Man on Earth... 2 00:00:18,708 --> 00:00:19,874 Phil's been missing for about 3 00:00:19,875 --> 00:00:21,476 24 hours. 4 00:00:21,477 --> 00:00:22,978 This guy belong to you? 5 00:00:22,979 --> 00:00:24,879 - Oh, my God. - That guy's handsome. 6 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:27,249 - I like you. - Yeah, but you don't love me. 7 00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:28,683 I'm Phil, Phil Miller. 8 00:00:28,684 --> 00:00:30,051 No, I'm Phil Miller. 9 00:00:30,052 --> 00:00:32,153 Maybe you should both go by your middle names. 10 00:00:32,154 --> 00:00:33,788 - Phil, what's your middle name? - Tandy. 11 00:00:33,789 --> 00:00:35,123 - Tandy? - Carol? 12 00:00:35,124 --> 00:00:36,858 Do you like this guy? You jealous? 13 00:00:36,859 --> 00:00:37,892 Of course not. 14 00:00:37,893 --> 00:00:39,794 Good night... Tandy. 15 00:00:42,565 --> 00:00:44,633 Wow. 16 00:00:44,634 --> 00:00:46,368 I'm blown away. 17 00:00:46,369 --> 00:00:48,970 So, why's it living up here now? 18 00:00:48,971 --> 00:00:50,372 Phil. 19 00:00:50,373 --> 00:00:52,073 So new, so naive. 20 00:00:52,074 --> 00:00:54,042 She wandered up here on her own. 21 00:00:54,043 --> 00:00:56,711 And any real cattleman knows that a cow can't go down stairs. 22 00:00:56,712 --> 00:00:59,098 Shoot, you can make a cow do just about anything 23 00:00:59,099 --> 00:01:01,016 if you show her who's boss. 24 00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:02,817 Hyah! Hyah! Get! Get! Get! 25 00:01:04,754 --> 00:01:05,987 She's going down the stairs! 26 00:01:08,090 --> 00:01:09,190 - What? - Wow! 27 00:01:09,191 --> 00:01:10,392 Well, all it takes is a firm slap 28 00:01:10,393 --> 00:01:12,127 and an authoritative tone, you can make 29 00:01:12,128 --> 00:01:13,562 a cow do whatever you want. 30 00:01:13,563 --> 00:01:15,864 Doesn't just work on cows, hon. 31 00:01:17,199 --> 00:01:18,800 Come on, let's go after her. 32 00:01:18,801 --> 00:01:20,201 - Okay. - Go ahead. 33 00:01:20,502 --> 00:01:22,336 Thank you so much, Phil. 34 00:01:22,337 --> 00:01:23,404 That was amazing. 35 00:01:23,405 --> 00:01:25,406 Oh, you're welcome. 36 00:01:28,243 --> 00:01:30,244 Friggin' Phil. 37 00:01:33,082 --> 00:01:35,416 Friggin' Phil. 38 00:01:35,417 --> 00:01:37,457 - Synced and Corrected by peterbrito - - www.addic7ed.com - 39 00:01:40,022 --> 00:01:42,356 What's all this? 40 00:01:42,357 --> 00:01:45,026 Oh, Phil built it for the cow. 41 00:01:45,027 --> 00:01:46,260 Isn't it nice? 42 00:01:46,261 --> 00:01:48,596 Oh, yeah, I'm sure she loves it, you know. 43 00:01:48,597 --> 00:01:50,031 She provides milk to us and in return, 44 00:01:50,032 --> 00:01:52,533 we thank her by locking her up like Charles Manson. 45 00:01:54,036 --> 00:01:55,737 So, uh... how was your little trip 46 00:01:55,738 --> 00:01:57,238 over to see Phil last night? 47 00:01:57,239 --> 00:02:00,708 Ooh! Someone's jealous! 48 00:02:00,709 --> 00:02:01,743 Carol, please. 49 00:02:01,744 --> 00:02:03,044 It's me... the Tandyman. 50 00:02:03,045 --> 00:02:04,579 I'm not the jealous type. 51 00:02:04,580 --> 00:02:06,247 Admit it! 52 00:02:06,248 --> 00:02:07,749 You're afraid that the new buck in town 53 00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:09,784 is gonna spray all over your turf. 54 00:02:09,785 --> 00:02:11,486 Carol, look around you! 55 00:02:11,487 --> 00:02:13,721 Every inch of this place is already covered 56 00:02:13,722 --> 00:02:16,557 in layers and layers of Tandy Miller spray. 57 00:02:16,558 --> 00:02:18,126 You see it, I've doused it. 58 00:02:18,127 --> 00:02:19,894 And he knows that. 59 00:02:19,895 --> 00:02:22,263 Well, I think Phil's gonna be a very positive addition 60 00:02:22,264 --> 00:02:24,399 - to our community. - Eh... 61 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,401 He said he's even gonna clean out the garbage pool. 62 00:02:26,402 --> 00:02:28,603 So, what... then we just have an empty pool? 63 00:02:28,604 --> 00:02:30,605 Where we gonna put all our garbage? 64 00:02:30,606 --> 00:02:31,906 I'm sure he has a plan. 65 00:02:31,907 --> 00:02:33,441 Why don't you ask him? 66 00:02:33,442 --> 00:02:35,676 Maybe I'll do that. Where is he? 67 00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,712 He's over at Frick and Frack's house. 68 00:02:37,713 --> 00:02:40,248 They asked him to help fix their broken generator. 69 00:02:40,249 --> 00:02:42,450 Oldest trick in the book. 70 00:02:42,451 --> 00:02:45,753 Maybe I ought to go lend a hand on fixing that generator. 71 00:02:48,891 --> 00:02:51,192 Yeah, I can't find anything wrong with this thing. 72 00:02:51,193 --> 00:02:53,027 It seems to be working just fine. 73 00:02:53,028 --> 00:02:54,495 Well, that's weird, 74 00:02:54,496 --> 00:02:57,432 because it was making this horrible, 75 00:02:57,433 --> 00:02:58,463 - horrible sound. - Yeah. 76 00:02:58,464 --> 00:03:00,401 - It was like Hong... - Hong clang. 77 00:03:00,402 --> 00:03:01,638 - Hong clang, Hong clang. - Hong clang, yeah. 78 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,105 - Just a real gumbo of sounds. - Hello! 79 00:03:04,106 --> 00:03:06,407 Did someone call for a generator repair backup? 80 00:03:06,408 --> 00:03:08,776 Because the Tandyman is in the hizzy. 81 00:03:08,777 --> 00:03:10,078 In the house. 82 00:03:10,079 --> 00:03:13,181 No need, Tandy. Phil already fixed it. 83 00:03:13,182 --> 00:03:14,348 I didn't do anything. 84 00:03:14,349 --> 00:03:16,684 Great. Well, let me just double-check his work. 85 00:03:16,685 --> 00:03:18,986 Okay, let's see what we got here. 86 00:03:18,987 --> 00:03:20,588 - Hey, Carol. - Oh, hi. 87 00:03:20,589 --> 00:03:21,889 Thanks so much for the pie. 88 00:03:21,890 --> 00:03:23,157 - Oh. - You know, I haven't had 89 00:03:23,158 --> 00:03:24,292 fresh food in two years. 90 00:03:24,293 --> 00:03:25,793 Oh, you know, if it's 91 00:03:25,794 --> 00:03:27,228 food you're after, I can make you 92 00:03:27,229 --> 00:03:29,030 a real home-cooked meal. 93 00:03:29,031 --> 00:03:30,369 'Cause I used to be a chef. 94 00:03:30,370 --> 00:03:31,666 Oh, wow. 95 00:03:31,667 --> 00:03:33,301 But nothing too fancy. 96 00:03:33,302 --> 00:03:34,803 I'm a simple guy. 97 00:03:34,804 --> 00:03:36,905 Oh, I am... I'm a simple girl. 98 00:03:36,906 --> 00:03:38,573 - So we have that in common. - Yeah. 99 00:03:38,574 --> 00:03:40,308 Not as simple as me, though. 100 00:03:40,309 --> 00:03:41,843 They used to call me Simple Gail. 101 00:03:41,844 --> 00:03:42,911 Oh. 102 00:03:42,912 --> 00:03:44,679 Don't sell yourself short, Gail. 103 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,481 You're an incredibly complex woman. 104 00:03:46,482 --> 00:03:48,283 No, no. I'm not. 105 00:03:48,284 --> 00:03:49,784 So, Phil... 106 00:03:49,785 --> 00:03:51,719 Uh, so where you gonna live? 107 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:52,954 I don't know. I... 108 00:03:52,955 --> 00:03:54,222 I haven't found anything yet. 109 00:03:54,223 --> 00:03:56,491 Well, you know, uh, this cul-de-sac's pretty full, 110 00:03:56,492 --> 00:03:58,960 but there are a lot of great houses on the outskirts of town. 111 00:03:58,961 --> 00:04:01,296 Phoenix is beautiful, too. 112 00:04:01,297 --> 00:04:02,597 Oh, nonsense! You could just stay here. 113 00:04:02,598 --> 00:04:04,499 We have plenty of room here. 114 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,501 So, so much room. You should move in with us. 115 00:04:06,502 --> 00:04:08,736 - Well... - You know, now that you got 116 00:04:08,737 --> 00:04:10,371 the gall-dang cow out of my house, 117 00:04:10,372 --> 00:04:12,140 I'm all alone... and divorced. 118 00:04:12,141 --> 00:04:14,375 So I have plenty of room. 119 00:04:14,376 --> 00:04:15,410 Yeah, um... 120 00:04:15,411 --> 00:04:16,544 Got yourself a real 121 00:04:16,545 --> 00:04:17,979 Sophie's Choice here, Phil. 122 00:04:17,980 --> 00:04:21,483 But I got a housing option that might just help you, huh? 123 00:04:21,484 --> 00:04:23,051 Bro it the hell out! 124 00:04:23,052 --> 00:04:24,819 Move in with me, huh? 125 00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:26,621 A little bachelor pad action. 126 00:04:26,622 --> 00:04:27,856 We got the weight bench. 127 00:04:27,857 --> 00:04:29,224 We can spot each other. 128 00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:30,859 Well, uh, let me, um... 129 00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:32,227 Don't you want to be my friend? 130 00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:35,830 Come on, choose this Sophie. 131 00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:39,868 - Sure, yeah. Let's do it. - Hmm? 132 00:04:39,869 --> 00:04:41,236 Yeah, do it, yeah. Uh... 133 00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:42,904 Okay. 134 00:04:42,905 --> 00:04:45,240 - Ah... yeah. - Yeah! 135 00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:47,308 Great. Thanks, ladies. 136 00:04:50,312 --> 00:04:51,312 Broken generator. 137 00:04:51,313 --> 00:04:53,314 Nice try. 138 00:04:59,922 --> 00:05:01,890 What's all this? 139 00:05:03,926 --> 00:05:05,927 Hey! 140 00:05:05,928 --> 00:05:08,363 Hey! Look at this, huh? 141 00:05:08,364 --> 00:05:11,099 You got a class B commercial license to operate this thing? 142 00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:12,367 I do. 143 00:05:12,368 --> 00:05:14,602 I-I was just kidding, but... 144 00:05:14,603 --> 00:05:15,937 good for you. 145 00:05:15,938 --> 00:05:18,206 I picked this up to handle the garbage pool situation. 146 00:05:18,207 --> 00:05:20,275 You-you need any help or...? 147 00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:21,376 Nah, we're good. 148 00:05:21,377 --> 00:05:22,644 "We"? 149 00:05:22,645 --> 00:05:23,745 Take it easy, Tom. 150 00:05:23,746 --> 00:05:24,879 It's Todd. 151 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:25,980 All right, Tom. 152 00:05:25,981 --> 00:05:27,715 It's Todd! 153 00:05:27,716 --> 00:05:29,451 Faster! 154 00:05:29,452 --> 00:05:31,286 Hey, Todd! 155 00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,291 Frickin' Phil. 156 00:05:39,695 --> 00:05:40,728 There you are. 157 00:05:40,729 --> 00:05:41,729 Tandy. Hey. 158 00:05:41,730 --> 00:05:43,131 Hey. 159 00:05:43,132 --> 00:05:45,433 Trust you've had a chance to take a look around, huh? 160 00:05:45,434 --> 00:05:47,769 - I did. Yeah. To... - Good, good. 161 00:05:47,770 --> 00:05:49,003 Obviously, mi casa es su casa. 162 00:05:49,004 --> 00:05:50,138 That goes without saying. 163 00:05:50,139 --> 00:05:52,207 Uh, if you ever want to have any guests over, 164 00:05:52,208 --> 00:05:53,975 just run it by me... standard stuff. 165 00:05:53,976 --> 00:05:56,111 Anyway, toilet paper's under the sink. 166 00:05:56,112 --> 00:05:57,879 Got about a million toothbrushes under there, too. 167 00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,114 - All different sizes. - Uh-huh. 168 00:05:59,115 --> 00:06:00,982 I'm a large to extra-large. 169 00:06:00,983 --> 00:06:02,317 Wait, what the heck is that? 170 00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:03,918 Oh, you know, riding around in the garbage truck 171 00:06:03,919 --> 00:06:05,687 sort of inspired me to build this. 172 00:06:05,688 --> 00:06:07,088 - Oh. - The flash heater 173 00:06:07,089 --> 00:06:08,957 connects to the water reservoir. 174 00:06:08,958 --> 00:06:10,725 I jacked up the water pressure. 175 00:06:10,726 --> 00:06:13,428 Basically, it feels like a shower. 176 00:06:13,429 --> 00:06:14,529 Oh. 177 00:06:14,530 --> 00:06:16,164 Good for you. All right. 178 00:06:16,165 --> 00:06:18,733 I'm gonna... I'm gonna take a shower. 179 00:06:35,284 --> 00:06:36,651 Can you excuse me? 180 00:06:36,652 --> 00:06:38,353 I'm gonna jump in the shower now. 181 00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:39,954 Right now. 182 00:06:39,955 --> 00:06:41,956 Oh, yeah. Of course. 183 00:06:44,393 --> 00:06:46,061 You okay? 184 00:06:46,062 --> 00:06:47,862 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 185 00:06:54,819 --> 00:06:57,621 Five... six! 186 00:06:57,622 --> 00:06:59,022 All right. 187 00:06:59,023 --> 00:07:01,157 So, hey, what do you guys think? 188 00:07:01,158 --> 00:07:02,592 Huh? And be honest. 189 00:07:02,593 --> 00:07:04,160 This is a good body, right? 190 00:07:04,161 --> 00:07:06,796 I mean, I don't have that weird V thing that he does 191 00:07:06,797 --> 00:07:09,165 that kind of points your eyes down to your business. 192 00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:10,934 But these snakes can bite, huh? 193 00:07:10,935 --> 00:07:12,502 Oh, speaking of snakes... 194 00:07:12,503 --> 00:07:14,804 what do you think of this bad boy? 195 00:07:14,805 --> 00:07:16,640 Huh? It's fine, right? 196 00:07:16,641 --> 00:07:18,909 I know it's not gonna win any penis awards. 197 00:07:18,910 --> 00:07:20,076 But there aren't penis awards. 198 00:07:20,077 --> 00:07:22,012 So, whatever, you know? 199 00:07:22,013 --> 00:07:24,080 And the thing is, as with many Ferraris, 200 00:07:24,081 --> 00:07:27,117 the real show is on the back end. 201 00:07:27,118 --> 00:07:29,052 Not bad, huh? 202 00:07:29,053 --> 00:07:31,054 Hey, who does this guy think he is, huh? 203 00:07:31,055 --> 00:07:32,622 He's taken my name. 204 00:07:32,623 --> 00:07:34,057 He's stealing all my chores. 205 00:07:34,058 --> 00:07:36,359 And-and now, just stripping down 206 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,361 in front of me, in my own house? 207 00:07:38,362 --> 00:07:39,896 He's trying to establish dominance. 208 00:07:39,897 --> 00:07:41,965 That's a statement move right there. 209 00:07:41,966 --> 00:07:45,402 And I have to respond in kind. 210 00:07:45,403 --> 00:07:47,070 You got this! You look good! You got a fine bod! 211 00:07:47,071 --> 00:07:50,006 You can do this! You can do this! 212 00:07:50,007 --> 00:07:52,008 Ha! 213 00:07:54,412 --> 00:07:56,179 Phil... 214 00:07:57,748 --> 00:08:00,217 What are you doing, Tandy? 215 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:03,303 Ah, you know, uh, just going about my customary business 216 00:08:03,304 --> 00:08:04,387 in my own house. 217 00:08:04,388 --> 00:08:06,222 Huh, why don't you go put some clothes on? 218 00:08:06,223 --> 00:08:08,992 Well, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black... 219 00:08:08,993 --> 00:08:10,527 Or, uh... African-American. 220 00:08:10,528 --> 00:08:11,861 Or, uh... American. 221 00:08:11,862 --> 00:08:14,397 What are you trying to say? 222 00:08:14,398 --> 00:08:16,833 Well, you took off your shirt yesterday. 223 00:08:16,834 --> 00:08:19,035 And now suddenly being shirtless is a crime? 224 00:08:19,036 --> 00:08:20,770 I was about to take a shower. 225 00:08:20,771 --> 00:08:22,072 Well, I was about to take a shower, too. 226 00:08:22,073 --> 00:08:23,506 That's what I came to tell you. 227 00:08:23,507 --> 00:08:24,541 So, we're even. 228 00:08:24,542 --> 00:08:26,176 Well, now-now I know. 229 00:08:26,177 --> 00:08:27,911 - Now you know. - Now I know. 230 00:08:27,912 --> 00:08:29,546 Now you know! Ha! 231 00:08:29,547 --> 00:08:30,614 Hey, guys! 232 00:08:30,615 --> 00:08:32,015 Hey... Oh, my God! 233 00:08:33,017 --> 00:08:34,217 Erica, g'day! 234 00:08:34,218 --> 00:08:35,418 G'day! 235 00:08:35,419 --> 00:08:36,753 I'm sorry, if I'd known you were coming, 236 00:08:36,754 --> 00:08:37,954 I would've tucked it in. 237 00:08:37,955 --> 00:08:39,689 Oh, I kind of thought you already did. 238 00:08:39,690 --> 00:08:41,725 As if. 239 00:08:41,726 --> 00:08:43,393 I know you didn't think that. 240 00:08:43,394 --> 00:08:45,161 But I love that old Australian sass. 241 00:08:45,162 --> 00:08:46,363 Well... 242 00:08:46,364 --> 00:08:48,231 uh, I will get out of your hair. 243 00:08:48,232 --> 00:08:50,100 And your bald head, uh... 244 00:08:50,101 --> 00:08:52,102 Oh, look! The U.S. Constitution. 245 00:08:52,103 --> 00:08:53,303 Been meaning to frame that. 246 00:08:53,304 --> 00:08:55,105 We the people! 247 00:08:59,644 --> 00:09:01,645 - Hey. - Hey. 248 00:09:01,646 --> 00:09:04,915 You have a good time with the garbage man? 249 00:09:04,916 --> 00:09:06,761 Todd, come on. 250 00:09:06,762 --> 00:09:08,151 Oh, what? It's a simple question. 251 00:09:08,152 --> 00:09:10,086 Riding on the back of that truck, 252 00:09:10,087 --> 00:09:11,688 wind in your hair, hooting and hollering. 253 00:09:11,689 --> 00:09:13,557 Looked like you were having a great time. 254 00:09:13,558 --> 00:09:15,926 - I was just helping Phil. - Oh, yeah? 255 00:09:15,927 --> 00:09:18,361 And I've always wanted to ride on the back of a garbage truck. 256 00:09:18,362 --> 00:09:20,697 Don't... 257 00:09:20,698 --> 00:09:22,732 hang out with him. 258 00:09:22,733 --> 00:09:24,401 What?! 259 00:09:24,402 --> 00:09:26,069 If this relationship is gonna work, 260 00:09:26,070 --> 00:09:28,939 you can't hang out with him. 261 00:09:28,940 --> 00:09:31,107 I... 262 00:09:31,108 --> 00:09:33,109 I forbid it. 263 00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:36,012 Todd, this has got to stop. 264 00:09:36,013 --> 00:09:38,014 Look, I've had a really nice time with you and I... 265 00:09:38,015 --> 00:09:39,316 Whoa! You know what? 266 00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:41,251 I know how that sentence is gonna end. 267 00:09:41,252 --> 00:09:43,186 And I'll beat you to it. 268 00:09:43,187 --> 00:09:44,454 We're done, Melissa. 269 00:09:44,455 --> 00:09:46,656 I dump you, okay? 270 00:09:46,657 --> 00:09:48,892 That's not what I was going to say. 271 00:09:48,893 --> 00:09:51,428 But... fine. 272 00:09:51,429 --> 00:09:53,029 - Bye, Todd. - No, wait! What...? 273 00:09:53,030 --> 00:09:54,898 What were you gonna say? 274 00:09:54,899 --> 00:09:57,100 What were you gonna say?! 275 00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:00,203 - Almost. - Come on! 276 00:10:00,204 --> 00:10:02,505 - Almost. - Yup, right there! 277 00:10:02,506 --> 00:10:04,040 Knock, knock? 278 00:10:04,041 --> 00:10:05,275 Hey. 279 00:10:05,276 --> 00:10:06,610 What's going on here? 280 00:10:06,611 --> 00:10:08,778 Phil and I are just trying to get this icemaker working. 281 00:10:08,779 --> 00:10:10,780 Well... 282 00:10:10,781 --> 00:10:13,517 I don't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to bring you 283 00:10:13,518 --> 00:10:15,285 these hush puppies I made you. 284 00:10:15,286 --> 00:10:17,087 Simple food. 285 00:10:17,088 --> 00:10:18,622 Much appreciated. 286 00:10:18,623 --> 00:10:20,357 See, it's funny how sweaty you can get 287 00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:22,826 working on an ice machine. 288 00:10:24,262 --> 00:10:25,762 That's funny. 289 00:10:27,999 --> 00:10:29,332 Yeah, well, 290 00:10:29,333 --> 00:10:30,834 if you ladies will excuse me, 291 00:10:30,835 --> 00:10:32,302 I'm gonna go take a hot shower. 292 00:10:32,303 --> 00:10:33,336 What? 293 00:10:33,337 --> 00:10:35,305 You figured out how to get hot showers? 294 00:10:35,306 --> 00:10:36,873 I sure did. 295 00:10:36,874 --> 00:10:38,975 Y'all are welcome to use it anytime you want to. 296 00:10:38,976 --> 00:10:41,144 Well, I might just take you up on that offer 297 00:10:41,145 --> 00:10:44,814 'cause I am very, very dirty. 298 00:10:44,815 --> 00:10:47,017 Okay. Yeah, sure. 299 00:10:47,018 --> 00:10:49,486 What's, what's that, Carol? 300 00:10:49,487 --> 00:10:53,757 Oh, just a dumb scarf I made you. 301 00:10:53,758 --> 00:10:55,725 It gets drafty in this house. 302 00:10:55,726 --> 00:10:56,860 For me? 303 00:10:56,861 --> 00:10:58,528 Let me see... that's not dumb. 304 00:10:58,529 --> 00:11:00,497 It's beautiful, look at that. 305 00:11:00,498 --> 00:11:02,666 What a set of crafty hands you got. 306 00:11:03,801 --> 00:11:04,935 Wow. 307 00:11:04,936 --> 00:11:07,671 Speaking of crafty hands, what's that there? 308 00:11:07,672 --> 00:11:08,939 Are those little kitties? 309 00:11:08,940 --> 00:11:10,207 Yeah. 310 00:11:10,208 --> 00:11:11,741 I'm a cat man, myself. 311 00:11:11,742 --> 00:11:13,577 - Love cats. - So cute. 312 00:11:13,578 --> 00:11:14,644 Yeah. 313 00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:17,714 Thanks for the scarf. 314 00:11:21,319 --> 00:11:23,320 Well played, Carol. 315 00:11:23,321 --> 00:11:24,921 Well played. 316 00:11:26,991 --> 00:11:30,327 So now I see that exposing my genitals to Phil 317 00:11:30,328 --> 00:11:32,229 was just a massive misfire. 318 00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:34,064 Well, how could you have known? 319 00:11:34,065 --> 00:11:36,500 So, uh, what'd you want to talk to me about, bud? 320 00:11:36,501 --> 00:11:38,502 Oh, nothing, other than blowing the best thing 321 00:11:38,503 --> 00:11:39,836 that ever happened to me. 322 00:11:39,837 --> 00:11:42,172 Melissa and I broke up less than three hours ago, 323 00:11:42,173 --> 00:11:44,174 and I'm already in a kind of free fall. 324 00:11:44,175 --> 00:11:45,909 Don't know where the bottom is... 325 00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:47,544 cow. 326 00:11:47,545 --> 00:11:49,246 Hey, Todd, hey, hey. 327 00:11:49,247 --> 00:11:52,249 Don't put this on yourself. This is all Phil's fault, okay? 328 00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:54,050 You're good, you're fine, all right? 329 00:11:54,051 --> 00:11:55,252 Look at you. 330 00:11:55,253 --> 00:11:56,887 You look like a million bucks. 331 00:11:56,888 --> 00:11:58,054 Ah, thanks, man. 332 00:11:59,824 --> 00:12:01,358 Hey, do you think I'm being paranoid, 333 00:12:01,359 --> 00:12:03,693 or do you think Phil really wants to sleep with Melissa? 334 00:12:03,694 --> 00:12:05,529 Todd, don't worry. 335 00:12:06,631 --> 00:12:08,298 He definitely wants to sleep with Melissa. 336 00:12:08,299 --> 00:12:09,432 And everyone else here. 337 00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:11,635 Hell, I'm not even sure the cow's safe. 338 00:12:11,636 --> 00:12:13,870 And I'm sorry you had to hear that, girl. 339 00:12:14,906 --> 00:12:17,073 He's a monster. 340 00:12:19,177 --> 00:12:21,178 Attention, everyone. 341 00:12:21,179 --> 00:12:23,947 Here's some trash talk that I can get behind. 342 00:12:23,948 --> 00:12:26,116 The garbage pool is clean. 343 00:12:26,117 --> 00:12:28,451 Thanks to Phil. 344 00:12:28,452 --> 00:12:31,388 And that definitely doesn't stink. 345 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:33,824 I see what you did there. 346 00:12:33,825 --> 00:12:34,925 Thank you. 347 00:12:34,926 --> 00:12:36,259 That was cute. 348 00:12:40,932 --> 00:12:42,732 Bravo. 349 00:12:42,733 --> 00:12:43,967 Thanks, Tandy. 350 00:12:43,968 --> 00:12:46,703 - No, I really mean it. - I never questioned that. 351 00:12:46,704 --> 00:12:48,738 Good, 'cause it was unquestionable. 352 00:12:50,074 --> 00:12:51,842 Do you have a problem with me? 353 00:12:51,843 --> 00:12:53,710 - No, I don't. - 'Cause it seems like you do. 354 00:12:53,711 --> 00:12:55,479 Well, maybe that's 'cause I do. 355 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,214 What's your problem with me? 356 00:12:57,215 --> 00:13:00,417 Oh, you friggin' come in here and try to impress everybody 357 00:13:00,418 --> 00:13:02,085 with all your skills that pay the bills. 358 00:13:02,086 --> 00:13:03,954 But deep down, you're jealous. 359 00:13:03,955 --> 00:13:06,056 Jellin' so hard right now. 360 00:13:06,057 --> 00:13:07,891 I got no beef with you, Tandy. 361 00:13:07,892 --> 00:13:11,495 That's President Tandy to you. 362 00:13:11,496 --> 00:13:13,430 Okay, I think we've had enough of this president crap. 363 00:13:13,431 --> 00:13:16,233 Oh, so you think the American system of government is crap. 364 00:13:16,234 --> 00:13:18,268 No, I think the fact that you think you're president is crap. 365 00:13:18,269 --> 00:13:19,669 And we didn't even get to vote. 366 00:13:19,670 --> 00:13:21,004 It's not fair. 367 00:13:21,005 --> 00:13:22,973 Yes, it is, and even if it wasn't, 368 00:13:22,974 --> 00:13:24,641 none of you seem to be interested 369 00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:25,976 in the responsibility. 370 00:13:25,977 --> 00:13:28,612 So unless any of you want to get off your butts 371 00:13:28,613 --> 00:13:30,280 and throw your hats in the ring, 372 00:13:30,281 --> 00:13:32,082 looks like you're stuck with little old me. 373 00:13:33,117 --> 00:13:34,751 Well, I'd throw my hat in the ring. 374 00:13:34,752 --> 00:13:36,987 You want to be the president, huh? 375 00:13:36,988 --> 00:13:39,623 No, no, no, I just don't want you to be the president. 376 00:13:41,959 --> 00:13:43,293 Well, great. 377 00:13:43,294 --> 00:13:45,896 Well, the next vote is in-in four years, so... 378 00:13:45,897 --> 00:13:47,464 I say we revote right now. 379 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,534 Well, I would like to give a speech. 380 00:13:50,535 --> 00:13:52,536 No speeches, all in favor of Phil being president, 381 00:13:52,537 --> 00:13:53,870 raise your hand. 382 00:13:57,341 --> 00:13:58,809 Carol. 383 00:13:58,810 --> 00:14:01,445 Well, looks like we have a new president. 384 00:14:11,363 --> 00:14:12,363 Speech! Speech! 385 00:14:12,364 --> 00:14:13,364 Oh, no, no. 386 00:14:13,365 --> 00:14:14,365 I don't have anything to say. 387 00:14:14,366 --> 00:14:17,902 Well, I-I guess I should ask. 388 00:14:17,903 --> 00:14:20,538 Why did you guys choose to live in Tucson? 389 00:14:20,539 --> 00:14:22,840 I mean, no offense, but in this new world, 390 00:14:22,841 --> 00:14:25,443 Tucson is pretty much the worst place to sustain human life. 391 00:14:25,444 --> 00:14:27,779 Hey, Tucson is my hometown, 392 00:14:27,780 --> 00:14:30,748 and I will not hear it be slandered like that. 393 00:14:30,749 --> 00:14:32,750 Wonderful universities, great zoo; 394 00:14:32,751 --> 00:14:34,418 multiple periodicals have named it 395 00:14:34,419 --> 00:14:36,087 one of the top ten places to retire. 396 00:14:36,088 --> 00:14:38,990 - Okay. - Multiple periodicals, not just one. 397 00:14:38,991 --> 00:14:42,409 - Don't get me wrong... - We're here, Mr. President, 398 00:14:42,410 --> 00:14:45,327 because Tandy, here, had the good sense to put up 399 00:14:45,328 --> 00:14:47,155 those "Alive in Tucson" signs, 400 00:14:47,156 --> 00:14:49,400 so we should all be thanking him. 401 00:14:50,703 --> 00:14:52,370 All right, no disrespect to Tucson, 402 00:14:52,371 --> 00:14:54,472 - but I'm talking about farming. - Yes. 403 00:14:54,473 --> 00:14:56,641 - Growing fresh foods. - Fantastic. 404 00:14:56,642 --> 00:14:59,010 - Water. - That's what I've been saying. 405 00:14:59,011 --> 00:15:00,345 That's why I planted my own garden, 406 00:15:00,346 --> 00:15:01,612 but it's just not enough. 407 00:15:01,613 --> 00:15:03,614 Uh, thanks a lot, Mr. President. 408 00:15:03,615 --> 00:15:05,917 Or should I say "Mr. Spoiler Alert"? 409 00:15:05,918 --> 00:15:07,218 What are you talking about, Tandy? 410 00:15:07,219 --> 00:15:10,588 My surprise, which this guy just spoil-alerted. 411 00:15:11,657 --> 00:15:12,990 I've made us a farm, 412 00:15:12,991 --> 00:15:14,959 a viable, sustainable, working farm. 413 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:15,960 I did that. 414 00:15:15,961 --> 00:15:17,462 Nope. No, you didn't. 415 00:15:17,463 --> 00:15:19,130 Uh, I sure did, Melissa. 416 00:15:19,131 --> 00:15:21,632 Uh, I found some good forgivable Tucson land, 417 00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:23,935 and I plowed it, I raked it, I tilled it, 418 00:15:23,936 --> 00:15:26,371 I sewed it, I farmed it. 419 00:15:26,372 --> 00:15:28,039 And that was gonna be a big surprise come harvest, 420 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,707 till this guy ruined it. 421 00:15:29,708 --> 00:15:31,009 With his big mouth. 422 00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:33,077 Can we take a look at it, your farm? 423 00:15:33,078 --> 00:15:35,146 Yeah, let's go. 424 00:15:35,147 --> 00:15:36,648 - Let-let's do it. - Let's go right now. 425 00:15:36,649 --> 00:15:38,149 - Let's go right now. - Right... Oh, shoot. 426 00:15:38,150 --> 00:15:40,184 Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot. 427 00:15:40,185 --> 00:15:41,919 It's late, and, uh, you know, 428 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:44,589 dark and cold... The plants are, uh, resting. 429 00:15:44,590 --> 00:15:45,790 What about first thing in the morning? 430 00:15:46,825 --> 00:15:48,159 First thing in the morning... 431 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,261 as early as we can do it, yeah. 432 00:15:50,262 --> 00:15:51,596 Good. 433 00:15:51,597 --> 00:15:53,264 First thing come morn, 434 00:15:53,265 --> 00:15:57,268 we'll go see... my farm. 435 00:16:01,106 --> 00:16:02,440 Come on. 436 00:16:02,441 --> 00:16:04,108 Come on, be a tractor. 437 00:16:04,109 --> 00:16:05,943 Be a tractor for me. 438 00:16:05,944 --> 00:16:07,545 I need some kind of key or...? 439 00:16:07,546 --> 00:16:09,514 Oh, something happened. 440 00:16:09,515 --> 00:16:12,050 Oh! Oh! 441 00:16:12,051 --> 00:16:14,052 Nothing. 442 00:16:14,053 --> 00:16:15,186 Damn it. 443 00:16:16,522 --> 00:16:17,855 Come on...! 444 00:16:23,595 --> 00:16:25,196 You know what they say. 445 00:16:25,197 --> 00:16:27,365 Bros before hoes. 446 00:16:27,366 --> 00:16:29,300 Boom. I still got it. 447 00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:53,891 Cock a doodle doo! 448 00:16:53,892 --> 00:16:56,561 Tandy Farms is open for business! 449 00:16:56,562 --> 00:16:59,697 - Who wants to go see a genuine farm...? - Tandy... Tandy. 450 00:17:00,733 --> 00:17:01,899 Todd, what's the matter? 451 00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:04,269 It's Phil, new Phil. 452 00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:05,603 What happened? What did he do? 453 00:17:05,604 --> 00:17:06,804 He had sex with them. 454 00:17:06,805 --> 00:17:08,506 Sex with who? 455 00:17:08,507 --> 00:17:10,608 All of 'em. 456 00:17:10,609 --> 00:17:13,111 He had sex with all of 'em! 457 00:17:14,146 --> 00:17:17,282 Oh, Tandy...! 458 00:17:22,757 --> 00:17:24,424 Carol, I cannot believe you. 459 00:17:24,425 --> 00:17:26,527 Have you no morals? 460 00:17:26,528 --> 00:17:27,694 What are you talking about? 461 00:17:27,695 --> 00:17:29,363 Oh, you know what I'm talking about. 462 00:17:29,364 --> 00:17:31,698 Hey, uh, Carol, where are the other two? 463 00:17:31,699 --> 00:17:34,034 Oh, they headed home, but they say "thank you." 464 00:17:34,035 --> 00:17:36,270 We all had a wonderful time. 465 00:17:36,271 --> 00:17:37,671 Oh, my God. 466 00:17:37,672 --> 00:17:39,439 That was amazing. 467 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,708 What is happening here?! 468 00:17:41,709 --> 00:17:43,010 So you ready to go check out your farm? 469 00:17:43,011 --> 00:17:45,946 Haven't you done enough plowing for one day? 470 00:17:45,947 --> 00:17:48,656 - I can't believe I got to take a shower. - Yeah. 471 00:17:48,657 --> 00:17:49,850 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 472 00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:51,718 A shower. 473 00:17:52,887 --> 00:17:54,388 Oh, my God... private individual showers. 474 00:17:54,389 --> 00:17:55,589 That's all you were doing? 475 00:17:56,791 --> 00:17:58,125 Nobody else. No... 476 00:17:58,126 --> 00:17:59,793 Like, s-same-sex showers. 477 00:17:59,794 --> 00:18:01,128 One person at a time. 478 00:18:01,129 --> 00:18:03,097 You were nowhere there to be, uh, seen? 479 00:18:04,432 --> 00:18:05,766 Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. 480 00:18:05,767 --> 00:18:07,101 This is all making sense to me. 481 00:18:07,102 --> 00:18:08,635 Made sense to me, that's what I thought. 482 00:18:08,636 --> 00:18:11,338 You know, just Todd had said that you had all done, 483 00:18:11,339 --> 00:18:12,539 uh, something else. 484 00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:15,542 Well, Todd's been wrong about a lot of stuff lately. 485 00:18:15,543 --> 00:18:16,944 Bye. 486 00:18:18,146 --> 00:18:19,980 So... farm. 487 00:18:19,981 --> 00:18:21,048 Yeah. 488 00:18:21,049 --> 00:18:22,416 - Let's go. - Yeah, sure. 489 00:18:23,651 --> 00:18:25,719 Just friends taking showers, 490 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,722 individually, toweling off on their own, 491 00:18:28,723 --> 00:18:31,458 coming out, joining each other once they're fully clothed. 492 00:18:31,459 --> 00:18:35,395 Nice job, Tandy, this is a really good start. 493 00:18:35,396 --> 00:18:36,597 So what'd you plant? 494 00:18:36,598 --> 00:18:38,899 Ah, you know... the necessities. 495 00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:42,002 Everything from, uh, fruits to veggies. 496 00:18:42,003 --> 00:18:43,737 Good work. 497 00:18:43,738 --> 00:18:45,305 Yeah. 498 00:18:45,306 --> 00:18:48,308 Look, I'm sorry, uh, things got a little tense 499 00:18:48,309 --> 00:18:49,777 between us this week. 500 00:18:49,778 --> 00:18:51,111 Uh, looking at what you did, 501 00:18:51,112 --> 00:18:53,113 I realize I may have been off base. 502 00:18:53,114 --> 00:18:54,615 - Yeah? - Yeah. 503 00:18:55,817 --> 00:18:57,818 Yeah... you're welcome. 504 00:18:57,819 --> 00:19:00,554 You know, I-I just want to say I feel like 505 00:19:00,555 --> 00:19:02,223 you caught me on a weird week. 506 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,224 That's for sure. 507 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,258 Yeah, when you showed up, 508 00:19:04,259 --> 00:19:05,893 I kind of reared up on my haunches 509 00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:07,461 and let out a little warning roar. 510 00:19:07,462 --> 00:19:08,796 It's pure animal instinct. 511 00:19:08,797 --> 00:19:09,797 You feel me, Philbert? 512 00:19:09,798 --> 00:19:10,798 Oh, I feel you. 513 00:19:10,799 --> 00:19:12,132 Yeah. 514 00:19:12,133 --> 00:19:13,801 So we cool? 515 00:19:13,802 --> 00:19:15,135 We way cool. 516 00:19:15,136 --> 00:19:16,804 Mondo cool. 517 00:19:21,509 --> 00:19:23,444 I wish you guys had been there to see it. 518 00:19:23,445 --> 00:19:25,779 He was so impressed with me. 519 00:19:25,780 --> 00:19:28,115 I mean, we really reached an understanding. 520 00:19:28,116 --> 00:19:31,118 And, sure, for a while, we were like two alpha dogs 521 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:33,120 baring our teeth, and peeing everywhere 522 00:19:33,121 --> 00:19:34,622 to mark our territory, 523 00:19:34,623 --> 00:19:35,923 but it came out a draw. 524 00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:38,459 As often happens in the animal kingdom. 525 00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:39,927 Bottom line... 526 00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:41,595 He respects me. 527 00:19:41,596 --> 00:19:43,931 You know, he knows this is my land. 528 00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:46,033 And he knows not to step on my turf. 529 00:19:48,870 --> 00:19:49,937 Hello. 530 00:19:51,806 --> 00:19:53,140 You changed your nails up? 531 00:19:53,141 --> 00:19:54,475 Different cats. 532 00:19:54,476 --> 00:19:55,776 I like it. 533 00:19:57,212 --> 00:19:58,212 You noticed. 534 00:19:58,213 --> 00:19:59,547 Yeah. 535 00:19:59,548 --> 00:20:01,248 Scarf looks good. 536 00:20:03,351 --> 00:20:04,685 You noticed. 537 00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:12,626 Respect. 538 00:20:12,627 --> 00:20:15,296 This is Tandy Land, and he knows it. 539 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,965 He smells the spray, he's trying to tip-toe through it. 540 00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:19,967 But it's all over his feet and legs. 541 00:20:19,968 --> 00:20:21,869 Poor guy. 542 00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:23,971 Mmm, Phil. 543 00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:25,973 Oh, there you go, you big camper. 544 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,975 Oh, now put the food in the bear box. 545 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:29,410 The food's in the box, baby. 546 00:20:29,411 --> 00:20:31,378 Put it high up in the tree so the bears can't get to it. 547 00:20:31,379 --> 00:20:33,180 It's in the tree, it's high up there. 548 00:20:33,181 --> 00:20:34,982 - Yeah, it is. - Way out of reach. 549 00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:37,818 Put a log on the fire, get those mosquitoes away, Phil! 550 00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,854 - Can't stand those damn mosquitoes! - Get 'em out! 551 00:20:39,855 --> 00:20:41,522 Oh, Phil! 552 00:20:41,523 --> 00:20:43,190 I want a s'more right now! 553 00:20:43,191 --> 00:20:44,191 To Carol. 554 00:20:44,192 --> 00:20:45,860 To Carol. 555 00:20:45,861 --> 00:20:48,329 That luck B-word. 556 00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,496 Oh, I want chocolate. 557 00:20:49,497 --> 00:20:50,831 What kind of chocolate do you want? 558 00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,433 - I want the darkest chocolate! - The darkest chocolate! 559 00:20:52,434 --> 00:20:54,768 Yeah, Phil Miller! 560 00:20:54,769 --> 00:20:57,271 Oh...! 561 00:20:57,272 --> 00:20:58,506 Oh, you've camped before. 562 00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,508 I love camping... 563 00:21:09,718 --> 00:21:11,719 We got to kill this guy. 564 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,907 I'm in. 565 00:21:14,908 --> 00:21:17,558 - Synced and Corrected by peterbrito - - www.addic7ed.com - 38510

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