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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,910 --> 00:00:19,001 Previously on The Last Man on Earth... 2 00:00:19,002 --> 00:00:20,718 You were gonna go skinny dipping? 3 00:00:20,719 --> 00:00:21,546 It was a prank. 4 00:00:21,547 --> 00:00:23,169 You just sprayed the wrong dog. 5 00:00:23,170 --> 00:00:24,368 We should have never gotten married, 6 00:00:24,369 --> 00:00:25,709 and I'm really, really sorry. 7 00:00:25,710 --> 00:00:26,873 Divorce papers? 8 00:00:26,874 --> 00:00:27,951 You're better off without me. 9 00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:32,318 So the reason Phil and I called you here tonight is 10 00:00:32,319 --> 00:00:33,983 to let you know that we have made 11 00:00:33,984 --> 00:00:37,039 the mutual decision to get divorced. 12 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:38,257 The big D. 13 00:00:38,258 --> 00:00:41,260 You know, we truly do want what's best for each other. 14 00:00:41,261 --> 00:00:43,596 Which means we'll be avoiding each other like the plague. 15 00:00:43,597 --> 00:00:45,330 I'm just kidding. 16 00:00:45,331 --> 00:00:47,332 Carol knows that my door is always open. 17 00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:48,934 Oh, not as open as my door 18 00:00:48,935 --> 00:00:50,736 that you promised to fix but never did. 19 00:00:52,905 --> 00:00:53,905 We'll never lose this. 20 00:00:53,906 --> 00:00:55,273 This is, uh, here to stay. 21 00:00:55,274 --> 00:00:57,075 Hey, to Carol. 22 00:00:57,076 --> 00:00:58,710 Oh. 23 00:00:58,711 --> 00:01:00,712 I sincerely hope you find the happiness 24 00:01:00,713 --> 00:01:02,212 that I was never able to give you. 25 00:01:02,213 --> 00:01:03,213 - And... - And I mean that. 26 00:01:03,214 --> 00:01:04,548 And to Phil. 27 00:01:04,549 --> 00:01:07,952 Thank you for three wonderful weeks of marriage. 28 00:01:07,953 --> 00:01:09,419 Three weeks...?! 29 00:01:09,420 --> 00:01:11,656 Specifically the first day and a half was really something. 30 00:01:11,657 --> 00:01:14,125 - Hear, hear. - Hm. 31 00:01:14,126 --> 00:01:16,794 Ah, enough chit-chat. 32 00:01:16,795 --> 00:01:18,262 Who wants to dance? 33 00:01:18,263 --> 00:01:19,595 Hit it, Gail. 34 00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:35,300 - Synced and Corrected by peterbrito - - www.addic7ed.com - 35 00:01:51,227 --> 00:01:54,128 Carol, I'm throwing paint into a wood chipper 36 00:01:54,129 --> 00:01:55,730 right now, for no reason! 37 00:01:55,731 --> 00:01:57,832 Just mindless, messy fun. 38 00:01:59,402 --> 00:02:02,370 'Cause I don't have to answer to anybody anymore! 39 00:02:02,371 --> 00:02:04,372 Anybody! 40 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:07,141 Oh, shoot. 41 00:02:15,550 --> 00:02:16,884 Ugh, whatever. 42 00:02:16,885 --> 00:02:18,184 Come in. 43 00:02:18,185 --> 00:02:20,186 Gail. 44 00:02:20,187 --> 00:02:22,389 Hey, Phil. 45 00:02:22,390 --> 00:02:24,057 Hey, indeed. Hey, indeed. 46 00:02:24,058 --> 00:02:25,659 What can I do you for? 47 00:02:25,660 --> 00:02:26,992 I did not realize 48 00:02:26,993 --> 00:02:29,995 that you and Carol were only married for three weeks. 49 00:02:29,996 --> 00:02:33,399 That puts kind of a different little spin on things. 50 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,967 Oh, yeah? 51 00:02:34,968 --> 00:02:36,302 Oh, yeah. 52 00:02:36,303 --> 00:02:37,970 I just thought I'd come by and see 53 00:02:37,971 --> 00:02:39,906 if maybe you wanted to have a little fun. 54 00:02:39,907 --> 00:02:42,575 Well, you know. 55 00:02:42,576 --> 00:02:43,909 I love fun, you know? 56 00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:45,243 Big fun enthusiast. 57 00:02:45,244 --> 00:02:46,578 - Uh. - Mmm. 58 00:02:46,579 --> 00:02:48,246 What you, uh... 59 00:02:48,247 --> 00:02:52,250 whatcha thinkin' 'bout, uh, fun-wise? 60 00:02:52,251 --> 00:02:53,585 Um... 61 00:02:53,586 --> 00:02:56,588 I'm sure we can think of something. 62 00:02:56,589 --> 00:02:58,389 Oh, God, no doubt. 63 00:02:58,390 --> 00:03:00,291 Two adults searching for fun. 64 00:03:00,292 --> 00:03:03,293 Yeah, prospects are good. 65 00:03:04,295 --> 00:03:06,296 So, uh... 66 00:03:06,297 --> 00:03:08,632 We talking, like... 67 00:03:08,633 --> 00:03:10,100 watch a movie or...? 68 00:03:10,101 --> 00:03:12,002 No, Phil, I don't want to watch a movie. 69 00:03:12,003 --> 00:03:13,337 Wh-Why? Do you want to watch a movie? 70 00:03:13,338 --> 00:03:15,339 No, no, I just want to do whatever you want to do. 71 00:03:15,340 --> 00:03:16,774 You know, whatever's in that mind of yours. 72 00:03:16,775 --> 00:03:19,108 Well, Phil, you are in luck, 73 00:03:19,109 --> 00:03:21,077 because a couple of very detailed plans 74 00:03:21,078 --> 00:03:23,000 just popped into my head. 75 00:03:23,781 --> 00:03:25,448 Why don't you, uh, debrief me? 76 00:03:27,050 --> 00:03:28,351 That can be arranged. 77 00:03:28,352 --> 00:03:29,886 Hey, guys. 78 00:03:29,887 --> 00:03:32,221 Just picking up more of my stuff. 79 00:03:32,222 --> 00:03:33,723 Divorce, right? 80 00:03:33,724 --> 00:03:36,124 Carol, now's not the... the best time. 81 00:03:36,125 --> 00:03:37,325 Oh, don't mind me. 82 00:03:37,326 --> 00:03:39,394 You guys just go back to what you were doing. 83 00:03:40,797 --> 00:03:42,063 Why don't I come back later? 84 00:03:42,064 --> 00:03:43,732 Say around 3:00? 85 00:03:43,733 --> 00:03:45,066 Hmm. 86 00:03:45,067 --> 00:03:48,069 Might be up doing some chores in my bedroom about that time. 87 00:03:48,070 --> 00:03:49,638 Well, why don't we just meet up there? 88 00:03:49,639 --> 00:03:50,906 Okay. 89 00:03:50,907 --> 00:03:52,907 See you later, Phil. 90 00:03:55,545 --> 00:03:58,445 - A little breakfast for my lady. - Aw... 91 00:03:58,446 --> 00:03:59,814 Aw. Thank you, Todd. 92 00:03:59,815 --> 00:04:01,115 You know how I love butt pancakes. 93 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,349 Oh, woops. Sorry. 94 00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:04,852 - An upside down butt. - Yep. 95 00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,387 Even better. 96 00:04:06,388 --> 00:04:07,722 Well, I hope you like it. 97 00:04:07,723 --> 00:04:10,490 And I mean that from the bottom of my upside down butt. 98 00:04:14,294 --> 00:04:15,996 What? 99 00:04:15,997 --> 00:04:18,999 Nothing, I just... 100 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,433 I'm happier than I've ever been. 101 00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:21,768 It's all because of you. 102 00:04:21,769 --> 00:04:23,202 Todd... 103 00:04:23,203 --> 00:04:25,505 No, I mean it... you know? 104 00:04:25,506 --> 00:04:27,205 When I was out there, you know, 105 00:04:27,206 --> 00:04:30,876 the world was dark and empty. 106 00:04:30,877 --> 00:04:33,812 Then you came along, and you filled it with light. 107 00:04:35,782 --> 00:04:38,784 I guess what I'm saying is... 108 00:04:38,785 --> 00:04:40,419 I love you, Melissa. 109 00:04:40,420 --> 00:04:42,421 Todd... 110 00:04:45,257 --> 00:04:47,258 Thank you. 111 00:04:55,668 --> 00:04:57,669 You're welcome. 112 00:05:01,305 --> 00:05:02,639 - Ah... - Hey, Phil. 113 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:03,974 G'day, Erica. 114 00:05:03,975 --> 00:05:05,141 G'day, cow. 115 00:05:05,142 --> 00:05:06,810 Someone's in a good mood. 116 00:05:06,811 --> 00:05:08,144 Oh, is she talking to you, girl? 117 00:05:08,145 --> 00:05:10,246 You in a good moooooood? 118 00:05:10,247 --> 00:05:11,514 A little cow humor. 119 00:05:11,515 --> 00:05:13,516 So single life's treating you well? 120 00:05:13,517 --> 00:05:14,585 Oh, yeah. 121 00:05:14,586 --> 00:05:15,919 Breaking up was definitely in... 122 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:17,519 in everybody's best interest, you know? 123 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:18,854 And I wish Carol all the best. 124 00:05:18,855 --> 00:05:20,189 And she does the same for me. 125 00:05:20,190 --> 00:05:21,356 - She's a good kid. - Hm. 126 00:05:21,357 --> 00:05:22,524 And I'm a good kid. 127 00:05:22,525 --> 00:05:23,859 We're good kids. Mm. 128 00:05:23,860 --> 00:05:26,195 Hey, so I was thinking 129 00:05:26,196 --> 00:05:29,431 about going on a hike later, at this bluff I found. 130 00:05:29,432 --> 00:05:30,833 Yeah? 131 00:05:30,834 --> 00:05:33,235 Do you have any interest in that? 132 00:05:33,236 --> 00:05:35,503 I'll call that bluff any day of the week, you know? 133 00:05:35,504 --> 00:05:37,138 Love to go on a hike with you. 134 00:05:37,139 --> 00:05:38,573 Big hiking enthusiast. 135 00:05:38,574 --> 00:05:40,241 Got all the gear, got the mindset. 136 00:05:40,242 --> 00:05:41,576 Let's do it, let's do it. 137 00:05:41,577 --> 00:05:42,911 Let's get that hike on. 138 00:05:42,912 --> 00:05:44,178 Shall we say 5:00? 139 00:05:44,179 --> 00:05:45,546 5:00 is perfect. 140 00:05:45,547 --> 00:05:47,381 It's, like, heaven-sent. 141 00:05:47,382 --> 00:05:49,718 I got a little appointment at 3:00, but knowing my history, 142 00:05:49,719 --> 00:05:52,052 that won't last anywhere near two hours. 143 00:05:52,053 --> 00:05:53,854 So 5:00 it is, yes, yes, yes. 144 00:05:53,855 --> 00:05:54,855 I'll see you at 5:00. 145 00:05:54,856 --> 00:05:55,856 I'll see you at 5:00. 146 00:05:59,761 --> 00:06:02,696 You see what just happened there, didn't you? 147 00:06:06,701 --> 00:06:08,367 Hey, bud. You okay? 148 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,402 Why are you out here walking all alone? 149 00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:16,208 I told Melissa I loved her, and she didn't say anything back. 150 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,543 Oh, that's a major burn. 151 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,545 Oh, that's horrible. 152 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,047 You must feel like crap. 153 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,715 God, that is a bummer. 154 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,416 That's... that's big time. 155 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,384 That's a big time... 156 00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:27,385 That sucks. 157 00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:28,486 Yeah. 158 00:06:28,487 --> 00:06:30,155 Hey, even if she wasn't into you, 159 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:31,823 we're the only two guys around, okay? 160 00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:33,759 And she hates me, so I think you're safe. 161 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:34,960 You know, I just keep thinking, 162 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,427 you know, if we all showed up, 163 00:06:36,428 --> 00:06:38,229 what's to say other people won't show up? 164 00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:40,766 Relax, nobody else is gonna show up. 165 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:42,099 Well, how can you be so sure? 166 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,600 Because I am. 167 00:06:43,601 --> 00:06:44,935 Look, I'm finally single again. 168 00:06:44,936 --> 00:06:47,938 I-I'm friends with my ex, and I have two dates lined up, 169 00:06:47,939 --> 00:06:49,606 one of which is a straight-up sex date. 170 00:06:49,607 --> 00:06:51,241 I'm about 69 percent sure of that. 171 00:06:51,242 --> 00:06:52,977 I have even more to lose than you. 172 00:06:52,978 --> 00:06:55,312 And do I look nervous about it? 173 00:06:55,313 --> 00:06:56,781 No, you don't. 174 00:06:56,782 --> 00:06:58,315 Good. 175 00:06:58,316 --> 00:07:00,316 'Cause I'm not. 176 00:07:00,317 --> 00:07:01,651 Go ahead. 177 00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:21,003 I got a good thing going here, Tucson. 178 00:07:21,004 --> 00:07:23,338 I don't need anyone showing up to blow it for me. 179 00:07:32,182 --> 00:07:33,915 Hmm. 180 00:07:33,916 --> 00:07:37,585 Just a little insurance, and I am good to... 181 00:07:37,586 --> 00:07:39,921 No...! 182 00:07:42,591 --> 00:07:44,258 Oh, farts. 183 00:07:46,898 --> 00:07:48,232 Help! 184 00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:49,766 Help! 185 00:07:50,522 --> 00:07:52,189 Oh, God, please help! 186 00:07:52,190 --> 00:07:54,058 Please help me! 187 00:07:57,494 --> 00:07:59,161 I can make that. I can make that. 188 00:07:59,162 --> 00:08:01,163 If I land just right, I can make it. 189 00:08:01,164 --> 00:08:02,497 I just have to land exactly right. 190 00:08:02,498 --> 00:08:04,066 Just have to land it perfectly. 191 00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:08,704 Two beautiful women waiting for you at home, Phil. 192 00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:11,373 Now, stick the landing and get home 193 00:08:11,374 --> 00:08:13,307 and make love to those women! 194 00:08:14,677 --> 00:08:16,010 One... 195 00:08:16,011 --> 00:08:17,445 Two... 196 00:08:17,446 --> 00:08:20,114 Help me! 197 00:08:20,115 --> 00:08:22,516 Help me, I'm gonna die up here! 198 00:08:22,517 --> 00:08:25,252 Help! 199 00:08:25,253 --> 00:08:28,255 I am so scared! 200 00:08:30,925 --> 00:08:32,926 Phil? 201 00:08:32,927 --> 00:08:34,761 It's 3:00. 202 00:08:37,131 --> 00:08:38,799 Phil...? 203 00:08:39,901 --> 00:08:41,234 Phil? 204 00:08:48,541 --> 00:08:50,209 You dirty dog. 205 00:09:07,392 --> 00:09:09,427 Oh, finally, some shade. 206 00:09:10,129 --> 00:09:12,296 No...! 207 00:09:12,297 --> 00:09:14,298 You were my shade! 208 00:09:14,299 --> 00:09:16,300 And my pants! 209 00:09:17,302 --> 00:09:18,637 Phil? 210 00:09:21,940 --> 00:09:23,907 Gail... 211 00:09:23,908 --> 00:09:25,375 Gail. 212 00:09:27,578 --> 00:09:29,579 Erica. 213 00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:32,082 - What are you doing here? - I was supposed to meet up with Phil. 214 00:09:32,083 --> 00:09:33,416 So was I. 215 00:09:33,417 --> 00:09:35,418 Yeah, I can see that. 216 00:09:35,419 --> 00:09:36,987 Guess we got double-booked. 217 00:09:36,988 --> 00:09:39,088 And double stood up. 218 00:09:39,089 --> 00:09:41,490 - Phil. - Friggin' Phil. 219 00:09:41,491 --> 00:09:42,825 Phil, oh... 220 00:09:42,826 --> 00:09:44,160 Wow! 221 00:09:44,161 --> 00:09:45,494 You didn't waste any time. 222 00:09:45,495 --> 00:09:47,697 Carol, Phil and I were just gonna go hiking. 223 00:09:47,698 --> 00:09:50,199 I don't need to know your little Australian terms 224 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,068 for when a man plays with your breasts. 225 00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:55,103 Gail, I suppose that you were gonna go "hiking," too? 226 00:09:55,104 --> 00:09:57,105 No, we were gonna have sex. 227 00:09:57,106 --> 00:10:01,176 Not upset, just know you're getting my sloppy seconds. 228 00:10:02,344 --> 00:10:04,012 And they were sloppy. 229 00:10:07,717 --> 00:10:10,185 Good morning. 230 00:10:10,186 --> 00:10:12,186 Here you go. 231 00:10:12,187 --> 00:10:14,188 Breakfast is served. 232 00:10:14,189 --> 00:10:15,522 What's this? 233 00:10:15,523 --> 00:10:16,691 Uh, did I miss something? 234 00:10:16,692 --> 00:10:17,825 It's juice, syrup, pancake. 235 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:18,826 All there. 236 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:19,994 Todd, what's wrong? 237 00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:22,296 Nothing's wrong, everything's great. 238 00:10:22,297 --> 00:10:24,331 Look, I'm sorry about the other day. 239 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:27,334 It's just I don't take saying the L-word lightly. 240 00:10:29,704 --> 00:10:31,705 Please don't read more into it than that. 241 00:10:31,706 --> 00:10:32,772 I won't. 242 00:10:32,773 --> 00:10:33,807 I'm already not. 243 00:10:33,808 --> 00:10:34,774 Look. 244 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,213 All fixed. 245 00:10:41,348 --> 00:10:43,382 Want some? 246 00:10:46,152 --> 00:10:47,485 No. 247 00:11:08,373 --> 00:11:10,474 So... 248 00:11:10,475 --> 00:11:12,376 How was your little 249 00:11:12,377 --> 00:11:15,479 ménage à three-way with my very recent ex-husband? 250 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:16,981 He never showed up. 251 00:11:16,982 --> 00:11:18,582 What? 252 00:11:18,583 --> 00:11:20,383 Phil Miller missed out on a chance 253 00:11:20,384 --> 00:11:21,785 to have sex with two women? 254 00:11:23,221 --> 00:11:25,155 Oh, my God. 255 00:11:25,156 --> 00:11:27,791 Phil's dead. 256 00:11:44,607 --> 00:11:48,110 So, as you know, Phil's been missing for about 24 hours, 257 00:11:48,111 --> 00:11:49,979 and I think we need to look for him. 258 00:11:49,980 --> 00:11:51,513 I'm sure he's fine. 259 00:11:51,514 --> 00:11:53,015 Maybe we should organize a search party. 260 00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:54,015 Where do we start? 261 00:11:54,016 --> 00:11:55,483 Well, who saw him last? 262 00:11:56,752 --> 00:11:57,919 Oh, there he is. 263 00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,256 No, that's not Phil's truck. 264 00:12:01,257 --> 00:12:03,324 Well, then whose truck is it? 265 00:12:03,325 --> 00:12:06,928 Oh, my God. 266 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,634 This guy belong to you? 267 00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:18,936 So I was driving down Route 77... 268 00:12:18,937 --> 00:12:21,138 I saw a ladder laying beside a billboard. 269 00:12:22,001 --> 00:12:23,701 So I looked up at the sign, I saw something move. 270 00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:24,802 Now, you know, it's not often 271 00:12:24,803 --> 00:12:26,804 you catch something moving these days. 272 00:12:26,805 --> 00:12:29,006 So I stopped to check it out, and I found this guy 273 00:12:29,007 --> 00:12:30,498 passed out in his underwear. 274 00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:33,734 I was surprised he didn't notice the ladder behind the billboard. 275 00:12:33,735 --> 00:12:35,370 There was a ladder? 276 00:12:35,371 --> 00:12:38,139 Thank you so much for bringing him back to us. 277 00:12:38,140 --> 00:12:40,375 Sorry, we don't even know your name. 278 00:12:40,376 --> 00:12:41,742 I'm Phil; Phil Miller. 279 00:12:41,743 --> 00:12:43,077 - I'm... - What? 280 00:12:43,078 --> 00:12:46,079 - Wait, your name is Phil Miller? - Excuse me? 281 00:12:46,412 --> 00:12:47,745 - I'm Phil Miller. - Hold it. 282 00:12:47,746 --> 00:12:49,814 He's in shock... he's just repeating what I'm saying. 283 00:12:49,815 --> 00:12:51,849 No, his name really is Phil Miller. 284 00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:53,150 Seven people left on Earth, 285 00:12:53,151 --> 00:12:54,819 and two of them are named Phil Miller? 286 00:12:54,820 --> 00:12:56,454 And they could not be more different. 287 00:12:56,455 --> 00:12:59,790 I mean, apples and... and oranges. 288 00:12:59,791 --> 00:13:01,125 Your name really is Phil Miller? 289 00:13:01,126 --> 00:13:02,559 - Are you... - Okay, folks. 290 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:04,494 Situation is we got two Phil Millers. 291 00:13:04,495 --> 00:13:05,962 - I'm Phil Miller. - Okay, okay. 292 00:13:05,963 --> 00:13:08,131 Well, tell us about yourself. 293 00:13:08,132 --> 00:13:10,234 I mean, who is Phil Miller? 294 00:13:10,235 --> 00:13:11,368 Well, I'm from North Carolina. 295 00:13:11,369 --> 00:13:13,069 Get out of town. Me, too. 296 00:13:13,070 --> 00:13:14,471 - What part? - I was stationed at Fort Bragg. 297 00:13:14,472 --> 00:13:15,839 Former military. 298 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,341 My dad was in the military. 299 00:13:17,342 --> 00:13:19,642 - I did military. - Phil... 300 00:13:19,643 --> 00:13:21,344 No, but I was military. 301 00:13:21,345 --> 00:13:22,978 - I'm not making that up... - Go on, new Phil. 302 00:13:22,979 --> 00:13:24,413 Well, after I left the Special Forces, 303 00:13:24,414 --> 00:13:25,514 I became a contractor, 304 00:13:25,515 --> 00:13:26,915 mostly for Habitat for Humanity, 305 00:13:26,916 --> 00:13:29,485 but also to make a buck here and there. 306 00:13:29,486 --> 00:13:31,587 That's awesome. I-I also did Habitat for Humanity in college. 307 00:13:31,588 --> 00:13:33,088 Yeah, that's right. 308 00:13:33,089 --> 00:13:35,891 Yeah, hey, Phil, I'm Todd, Melissa's boyfriend. 309 00:13:35,892 --> 00:13:37,058 It's so nice 310 00:13:37,059 --> 00:13:38,860 to have someone here with practical skills. 311 00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:41,263 I mean, none of us have any idea what we're doing. 312 00:13:41,264 --> 00:13:42,731 I wouldn't say none of us. 313 00:13:42,732 --> 00:13:44,065 So, when are you guys going to Tampa? 314 00:13:44,066 --> 00:13:45,700 What do you mean? Uh... 315 00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:47,369 When I found Phil, he had written 316 00:13:47,370 --> 00:13:49,304 "Moved to Tampa" on the billboard. 317 00:13:49,305 --> 00:13:51,773 Ah, yeah, let's just keep talking about something else. 318 00:13:51,774 --> 00:13:53,174 Why would you do that, Phil? 319 00:13:53,175 --> 00:13:54,841 - Prank. - We all know why. 320 00:13:54,842 --> 00:13:56,977 He was finally gonna get a chance to sow his oats, 321 00:13:56,978 --> 00:13:59,380 and he didn't want anyone else to come in and ruin it for him. 322 00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:00,281 Disgusting. 323 00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:04,084 Well, Phil Miller, why don't you let us 324 00:14:04,085 --> 00:14:06,186 give you a little tour of the neighborhood? 325 00:14:06,187 --> 00:14:07,187 - It's late. We do it now. - Yeah, come on. 326 00:14:07,188 --> 00:14:08,289 You need help get-getting up? 327 00:14:08,290 --> 00:14:09,256 - Please, here. There you go. - Oh, thank you. 328 00:14:09,257 --> 00:14:10,257 Why not? 329 00:14:10,258 --> 00:14:12,057 - Gentleman. - Do you walk, Phil? 330 00:14:12,058 --> 00:14:13,660 All right, Phil. 331 00:14:16,697 --> 00:14:18,264 I'm Phil Miller. 332 00:14:18,265 --> 00:14:20,433 Well, that guy's handsome. 333 00:14:20,434 --> 00:14:23,235 So we now have a super handsome guy on the block. 334 00:14:23,236 --> 00:14:24,504 That's fun, huh? 335 00:14:24,505 --> 00:14:26,205 Just fell from the sky 336 00:14:26,206 --> 00:14:29,608 like a gosh dang angel. 337 00:14:29,609 --> 00:14:30,909 - Todd? - Yeah? 338 00:14:30,910 --> 00:14:32,043 We doing okay? 339 00:14:32,044 --> 00:14:33,144 Yeah, no, fine. 340 00:14:33,145 --> 00:14:35,714 I'm just pumped up, you know? 341 00:14:35,715 --> 00:14:38,650 I mean, it's not every day you meet a guy like that. 342 00:14:38,651 --> 00:14:40,419 You know, I mean, he's an absolute ten 343 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:42,354 in the looks department. 344 00:14:42,355 --> 00:14:45,656 You guys have that whole Habitat thing going on. 345 00:14:45,657 --> 00:14:47,257 You know? How fun is that? 346 00:14:47,258 --> 00:14:48,258 Right? 347 00:14:48,259 --> 00:14:49,794 Excuse me. 348 00:14:52,798 --> 00:14:53,997 Oh, my goodness. 349 00:14:53,998 --> 00:14:55,333 Can you imagine 350 00:14:55,334 --> 00:14:58,168 how gorgeous your little babies would be? 351 00:14:58,169 --> 00:15:00,871 Todd, we've talked about this. 352 00:15:00,872 --> 00:15:02,238 I like you. 353 00:15:02,239 --> 00:15:03,473 Yeah, but you don't love me. 354 00:15:05,676 --> 00:15:06,876 I... I'm, I'm sorry. 355 00:15:06,877 --> 00:15:07,944 I just... 356 00:15:07,945 --> 00:15:09,746 Being with you has been like a dream, 357 00:15:09,747 --> 00:15:12,782 and I am just so scared I am gonna screw it up. 358 00:15:12,783 --> 00:15:14,150 Then don't screw it up. 359 00:15:14,151 --> 00:15:17,620 Just be your normal, sweet, charming self, 360 00:15:17,621 --> 00:15:18,787 and everything will be fine. 361 00:15:18,788 --> 00:15:20,021 Hah! "Will be" fine, right? 362 00:15:20,022 --> 00:15:21,156 So you admit everything's not currently fine? 363 00:15:21,157 --> 00:15:22,458 Todd! 364 00:15:22,459 --> 00:15:23,992 I-I got it, I got it. 365 00:15:23,993 --> 00:15:25,260 Yeah, I got it. 366 00:15:25,261 --> 00:15:27,663 Totally got it. 367 00:15:27,664 --> 00:15:29,030 Hey, hey, hey. 368 00:15:29,031 --> 00:15:30,866 I just wanted to apologize 369 00:15:30,867 --> 00:15:32,434 for, uh, missing our date yesterday. 370 00:15:32,435 --> 00:15:34,269 Circumstances were just cray-cray. 371 00:15:34,270 --> 00:15:35,136 Uh, yeah. 372 00:15:35,137 --> 00:15:36,203 Speaking of cray-cray... 373 00:15:36,204 --> 00:15:37,638 Sorry about this, you know? 374 00:15:37,639 --> 00:15:39,607 Looks painful. 375 00:15:39,608 --> 00:15:41,409 It is, it is, it hurts quite a bit, 376 00:15:41,410 --> 00:15:43,010 but, you know, that's not the painful part. 377 00:15:43,011 --> 00:15:44,044 That's the healing part. 378 00:15:44,045 --> 00:15:45,145 The part below is painful. 379 00:15:46,648 --> 00:15:47,982 You know, speaking of painful, 380 00:15:47,983 --> 00:15:51,085 uh, we were talking about having some... 381 00:15:51,086 --> 00:15:52,353 sex earlier, 382 00:15:52,354 --> 00:15:55,088 and, uh, I just wanted to know what you're, uh, 383 00:15:55,089 --> 00:15:56,723 what you're up to right now. 384 00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:59,125 Um, no, Phil, I'm actually gonna hit the hay. 385 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:01,561 Why would you hit the hay? Are you mad at it? Boom. 386 00:16:01,562 --> 00:16:03,229 Yeah. 387 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,231 Okay, good night. 388 00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:06,733 Is, uh, Erica around? 389 00:16:06,734 --> 00:16:09,502 Actually, she's, um, she's gonna turn in, too. 390 00:16:09,503 --> 00:16:11,470 Turn into what? I didn't know she was a shape shifter. 391 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,638 Boom. 392 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,773 Ha-ha. 393 00:16:13,774 --> 00:16:15,408 Okay, well, good night, now. 394 00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:16,942 Oh, oh, good night. 395 00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,845 At the White House? 396 00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,181 What a place to be found. 397 00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:24,450 Yeah... 398 00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:25,518 All right! 399 00:16:27,822 --> 00:16:28,887 Okay, do we have everyone? 400 00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,522 Raise your hand if you're not here. 401 00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,457 All right, ice broken. 402 00:16:33,629 --> 00:16:35,663 Uh, so the reason I called you all here today is, 403 00:16:35,664 --> 00:16:37,398 - because, as your president... - Wait. 404 00:16:37,399 --> 00:16:38,666 Wait, what? 405 00:16:38,667 --> 00:16:40,935 Phil's the, uh, 406 00:16:40,936 --> 00:16:42,536 president of the United States, so... 407 00:16:42,537 --> 00:16:44,272 It's a long story. 408 00:16:44,273 --> 00:16:46,573 But it's legit, you know? Anyway, as you're president, 409 00:16:46,574 --> 00:16:48,508 I just wanted you all to know that you can always come to me 410 00:16:48,509 --> 00:16:50,443 if you need anything, okay? 411 00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:53,781 And that-that privilege now extends to you, new guy. 412 00:16:53,782 --> 00:16:55,615 Oh, his name's Phil Miller, Phil. 413 00:16:55,616 --> 00:16:57,651 It should be easy to remember. 414 00:16:57,652 --> 00:16:59,552 The point is, new guy, uh, 415 00:16:59,553 --> 00:17:02,155 you know, if you ever need anything, come to me. 416 00:17:02,156 --> 00:17:03,689 Well, Mr. President, what are y'all doing 417 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:04,757 about electricity? 418 00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:05,925 Uh, generators, obviously. 419 00:17:05,926 --> 00:17:07,927 Next question. 420 00:17:07,928 --> 00:17:10,029 You're in a perfect spot for wind and solar. 421 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,864 We-we had no idea. 422 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:14,167 Oh, well, I can take a look at all that stuff. 423 00:17:14,168 --> 00:17:16,803 Geez, get a room, you two. 424 00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,072 Am I right? 425 00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:23,074 I mean, come on. 426 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,412 Okay, I got to go. 427 00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,682 jeans tight enough? 428 00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:34,953 Sorry. 429 00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,121 Well, well, good news is you're on a smart grid, 430 00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:40,390 which will help get the electricity up and running. 431 00:17:40,391 --> 00:17:41,892 Phil, you are a godsend. 432 00:17:41,893 --> 00:17:43,060 Thank you. 433 00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,829 Oh, I was talking to the other Phil. 434 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,997 That makes sense, since he was the one who just spoke. 435 00:17:46,998 --> 00:17:47,832 You know, that's another thing. 436 00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,233 This having two Phil Millers 437 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,168 is getting confusing already. 438 00:17:51,169 --> 00:17:52,836 - Yeah. - Yes, I agree. 439 00:17:52,837 --> 00:17:55,338 Maybe you should both go by your middle names. 440 00:17:55,339 --> 00:17:56,973 No, no, no, no, no. I was here first. 441 00:17:56,974 --> 00:17:59,175 I'm the president; I should get to be Phil. 442 00:17:59,176 --> 00:18:01,144 Phil, what's your middle name? 443 00:18:01,145 --> 00:18:02,912 Tandy. 444 00:18:02,913 --> 00:18:04,347 T-Tandy? 445 00:18:04,348 --> 00:18:05,849 Yeah. 446 00:18:05,850 --> 00:18:09,085 What kind of middle name is Tandy? 447 00:18:09,086 --> 00:18:10,185 It's my mother's maiden name. 448 00:18:10,186 --> 00:18:12,955 Was your mother Jessica Tandy? 449 00:18:14,224 --> 00:18:15,991 Yes. 450 00:18:15,992 --> 00:18:18,093 Oh, that's neat. 451 00:18:18,094 --> 00:18:19,594 His mother is not Jessica Tandy. 452 00:18:19,595 --> 00:18:20,863 Oh, you know my lineage? 453 00:18:20,864 --> 00:18:23,698 Phil, what's your middle name? 454 00:18:23,699 --> 00:18:24,666 I don't have a middle name. 455 00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:26,168 Oh, that makes it easy. 456 00:18:26,169 --> 00:18:27,368 So this is Phil, 457 00:18:27,369 --> 00:18:29,170 and this is Tandy. 458 00:18:29,171 --> 00:18:30,938 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 459 00:18:30,939 --> 00:18:32,006 I'm Phil. 460 00:18:32,007 --> 00:18:33,341 Okay, maybe we should 461 00:18:33,342 --> 00:18:35,343 find some kind of competition or something. 462 00:18:35,344 --> 00:18:37,378 You know, something we're both equally good at. 463 00:18:37,379 --> 00:18:38,346 - Fine by me. - Okay. 464 00:18:38,347 --> 00:18:40,381 How about a game of, uh, 465 00:18:40,382 --> 00:18:41,916 hm, hm, uh, Jenga. 466 00:18:41,917 --> 00:18:42,884 Never heard of that. 467 00:18:42,885 --> 00:18:43,884 Yeah, neither have I. 468 00:18:43,885 --> 00:18:44,885 So Jenga it is. 469 00:19:06,072 --> 00:19:07,306 Boom. 470 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,881 - Too easy. Mm-hmm. 471 00:19:17,183 --> 00:19:19,450 If I do this, you're gonna do that, then do that. 472 00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:20,785 Where are you, my little sweet? 473 00:19:22,388 --> 00:19:23,221 Excuse me. 474 00:19:23,222 --> 00:19:24,289 Mm. 475 00:19:33,432 --> 00:19:35,132 What in the hell, Phil? Let's go. 476 00:19:36,935 --> 00:19:38,268 You should enjoy this, Phil. 477 00:19:38,269 --> 00:19:40,570 This might be the last time somebody calls you Phil. 478 00:19:40,571 --> 00:19:42,039 I hate to disappoint you, 479 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,507 but I'm about to set in motion 480 00:19:44,508 --> 00:19:46,709 a chain of events that will leave you shamed, 481 00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:49,947 tamed and without a name. 482 00:19:49,948 --> 00:19:52,081 Oh! 483 00:19:52,082 --> 00:19:54,250 Well... 484 00:19:54,251 --> 00:19:56,419 good game, Tandy. 485 00:20:02,292 --> 00:20:03,292 Hey, Carol...? 486 00:20:03,293 --> 00:20:06,195 Where'd this door come from? 487 00:20:07,797 --> 00:20:09,730 Oh. 488 00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:12,633 Why you all dressed up? 489 00:20:12,634 --> 00:20:15,170 Oh, this? 490 00:20:15,171 --> 00:20:17,372 Oh, it's just how I do. 491 00:20:17,373 --> 00:20:19,307 How about that door, huh? 492 00:20:19,308 --> 00:20:20,541 Phil installed it. 493 00:20:20,542 --> 00:20:22,510 Well, it's a... a little wonky. 494 00:20:22,511 --> 00:20:24,012 Uh, hey, could you 495 00:20:24,013 --> 00:20:25,646 rub some salve on my back for me? 496 00:20:25,647 --> 00:20:27,014 Hm, sorry. 497 00:20:27,015 --> 00:20:28,682 I can't right now. 498 00:20:28,683 --> 00:20:30,451 Oh. 499 00:20:30,452 --> 00:20:32,186 Where you going? 500 00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:34,855 Oh, I'm just taking a thank-you gift to Phil 501 00:20:34,856 --> 00:20:35,990 for fixing my door. 502 00:20:35,991 --> 00:20:37,024 Oh, you made him some raisin balls? 503 00:20:37,025 --> 00:20:38,325 No, apple pie 504 00:20:38,326 --> 00:20:39,726 with homemade creme fraiche. 505 00:20:39,727 --> 00:20:41,695 There's raisin balls in the kitchen, if you want them. 506 00:20:43,030 --> 00:20:43,997 Carol? 507 00:20:45,565 --> 00:20:48,234 The apple pie, 508 00:20:48,235 --> 00:20:49,935 the-the makeup, the clothes... 509 00:20:49,936 --> 00:20:51,971 you like this guy? 510 00:20:51,972 --> 00:20:54,207 You jealous? 511 00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:55,341 Of course not. 512 00:20:55,342 --> 00:20:56,609 You know, we're divorced, 513 00:20:56,610 --> 00:20:59,578 and you have the right to do whatever you want. 514 00:20:59,579 --> 00:21:01,913 Oh, I know. 515 00:21:01,914 --> 00:21:04,883 Good, okay, well... 516 00:21:04,884 --> 00:21:06,418 good night, Carol. 517 00:21:06,419 --> 00:21:08,420 Good night, Tandy. 518 00:21:14,660 --> 00:21:17,546 What is happening here?! 519 00:21:17,547 --> 00:21:19,881 - Synced and Corrected by peterbrito - - www.addic7ed.com - 34511

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