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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:19,328 Previously on The Last Man on Earth... 2 00:00:19,329 --> 00:00:21,664 Look what I did. 3 00:00:21,665 --> 00:00:25,100 Big news, everyone! I'm finally moving in with my husband! 4 00:00:25,101 --> 00:00:26,435 Isn't this great? 5 00:00:26,436 --> 00:00:28,170 The best. 6 00:00:42,285 --> 00:00:44,219 Carol... 7 00:00:44,220 --> 00:00:47,690 - Carol! - Huh... huh? 8 00:00:49,993 --> 00:00:51,760 Is everything okay? 9 00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:53,829 You were making that sound again. All right. 10 00:00:53,830 --> 00:00:55,497 I gotta tighten up the mask. 11 00:00:55,498 --> 00:00:58,367 Just... I like to wear it loose so I don't get pressure sores. 12 00:00:58,368 --> 00:01:00,769 But it's a... trade-off, huh? 13 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:03,439 Yeah, yeah... do you have to wear that thing all the time? 14 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:07,109 Oh, Phil... sleep apnea's a part of who I am. 15 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:10,112 Just like dandruff and aggressive night toots 16 00:01:10,113 --> 00:01:11,814 are a part of who you are. 17 00:01:11,815 --> 00:01:15,050 Okay. Well, fine. Just please tighten the mask. 18 00:01:15,051 --> 00:01:16,719 Yes, my prince. Okay. 19 00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:25,461 Okay. 20 00:01:25,462 --> 00:01:27,463 Mmm. 21 00:01:27,464 --> 00:01:29,598 Mmm, mmm. 22 00:01:29,599 --> 00:01:31,600 Hey, Phil, 23 00:01:31,601 --> 00:01:34,737 living together's pretty fun, isn't it? 24 00:01:34,738 --> 00:01:36,939 Yeah. Yeah. 25 00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:39,541 Quick good night kiss? 26 00:01:45,615 --> 00:01:46,782 Good night. 27 00:01:48,251 --> 00:01:50,252 Good night. 28 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,593 - Synced and Corrected by peterbrito - - www.addic7ed.com - 29 00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:10,172 Right... 30 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:11,373 Carol? 31 00:02:11,374 --> 00:02:14,376 What did you do to the Monet? 32 00:02:14,377 --> 00:02:15,644 Well, 33 00:02:15,645 --> 00:02:17,313 this old thing didn't have any life in it, 34 00:02:17,314 --> 00:02:19,381 so I painted a fun little dog on it. 35 00:02:19,382 --> 00:02:20,482 I saw that. 36 00:02:20,483 --> 00:02:21,583 Hi there, little guy. 37 00:02:21,584 --> 00:02:23,118 I call it 38 00:02:23,119 --> 00:02:25,521 Dog Bridge, by Monet and Carol. 39 00:02:25,522 --> 00:02:27,222 Isn't it better? 40 00:02:27,223 --> 00:02:28,891 No, it is not. 41 00:02:28,892 --> 00:02:30,893 Please don't paint on my paintings. 42 00:02:42,672 --> 00:02:44,139 Wait, where are all my magazines? 43 00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:46,008 Oh, you mean the dirty magazines. 44 00:02:46,009 --> 00:02:47,676 Yes. Where are those? 45 00:02:47,677 --> 00:02:50,879 They're in the garage in a box labeled "Molested Girls." 46 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:54,516 Can you please not move my stuff anymore? 47 00:02:54,517 --> 00:02:56,852 Phil, we're living together, so it's no longer "my" stuff 48 00:02:56,853 --> 00:02:59,521 and "your" stuff... Now it's "our" stuff. 49 00:02:59,522 --> 00:03:02,858 Fine. Well, please don't move "our" dirty magazines anymore 50 00:03:02,859 --> 00:03:04,860 because "we" like them in this room 51 00:03:04,861 --> 00:03:07,429 where "we" can get at them more easily. 52 00:03:07,430 --> 00:03:09,364 Well, marriage is about compromise, 53 00:03:09,365 --> 00:03:11,700 so why don't we meet in the middle here, huh? 54 00:03:11,701 --> 00:03:14,470 Why don't you try... 55 00:03:14,471 --> 00:03:15,771 this on for size. 56 00:03:15,772 --> 00:03:18,707 A breast exam pamphlet? 57 00:03:18,708 --> 00:03:21,276 Ooh. Do your worst. 58 00:03:21,277 --> 00:03:22,945 Carol, I don't want to masturbate 59 00:03:22,946 --> 00:03:25,047 - to a breast exam pamphlet! - Phil! 60 00:03:25,048 --> 00:03:28,050 Did you wash your hands with the decorative hand soap? 61 00:03:28,051 --> 00:03:29,551 That's for company! 62 00:03:29,552 --> 00:03:30,886 What company are we gonna have? 63 00:03:30,887 --> 00:03:32,721 There are only two other people on Earth! 64 00:03:32,722 --> 00:03:35,329 Well, when they're over here, they deserve to be pampered. 65 00:03:35,330 --> 00:03:36,992 If you have a problem with my soap use, 66 00:03:36,993 --> 00:03:39,261 you can go write it up on the grievance board. 67 00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,596 If I can find any room! 68 00:03:40,597 --> 00:03:43,098 It's already filled with complaints about you. 69 00:03:43,099 --> 00:03:45,467 Well, if I'm so bad, then why do you want to live with me? 70 00:03:45,468 --> 00:03:47,469 Because you're my husband, and I'm your wife. 71 00:03:47,470 --> 00:03:49,271 And you better get used to it. 72 00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:52,174 - Where you going? - To get used to it! 73 00:03:52,175 --> 00:03:54,476 Well, pick up a new attitude while you're at it. 74 00:03:54,477 --> 00:03:55,944 I will! 75 00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:58,614 Oh, and toilet paper. 76 00:03:58,615 --> 00:03:59,882 Oh, and decorative hand soap. You know what? 77 00:03:59,883 --> 00:04:01,216 I'm just gonna make a quick list... hold on one second. 78 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,321 Stupid shopping list. 79 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,135 - I'm just evening it out, up here. - Let me see. 80 00:04:20,136 --> 00:04:21,403 - Okay. You ready? - Yes. 81 00:04:21,404 --> 00:04:23,038 - Are you sure? - I don't know. 82 00:04:23,039 --> 00:04:25,474 ♪ Ta-da! ♪ I love it! 83 00:04:25,475 --> 00:04:26,608 I think you look great. 84 00:04:26,609 --> 00:04:28,143 You look great. 85 00:04:28,144 --> 00:04:29,978 Mm... 86 00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:31,980 - Look at that. - Cutest couple on the cul-de-sac. 87 00:04:36,722 --> 00:04:38,687 _ 88 00:04:38,688 --> 00:04:39,822 Okay, let's see. 89 00:04:39,823 --> 00:04:41,423 Toilet paper, check. 90 00:04:41,424 --> 00:04:43,525 Decorative hand soap, check. 91 00:04:43,526 --> 00:04:45,327 Paper towels, check. 92 00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,362 Coffee filters, check. 93 00:04:47,363 --> 00:04:49,965 Lighter fluid, check. 94 00:04:53,970 --> 00:04:55,504 Matches, check. 95 00:04:59,709 --> 00:05:00,909 There you go, Carol! 96 00:05:00,910 --> 00:05:03,078 I finished your stupid shopping list! 97 00:05:03,079 --> 00:05:04,880 Will you let me have my life back now? 98 00:05:04,881 --> 00:05:08,183 Oh, you're just up there laughing at me, God, aren't you? 99 00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:10,652 Why did you do this?! 100 00:05:10,653 --> 00:05:11,687 Why'd you make it seem 101 00:05:11,688 --> 00:05:13,822 like Carol was the last woman on Earth 102 00:05:13,823 --> 00:05:15,824 and then introduce me to Melissa?! 103 00:05:15,825 --> 00:05:19,028 And then you bring freakin' Todd into the picture?! 104 00:05:19,029 --> 00:05:20,362 Oh, so funny, God! 105 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,398 I forgot to laugh! 106 00:05:22,399 --> 00:05:24,400 So funny. 107 00:05:25,402 --> 00:05:28,170 I was being sarcastic. 108 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:33,208 If I only knew then what I know now. 109 00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:37,479 I just wish I could have a do-over. 110 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,482 I wish I could have a do-over. 111 00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,407 - Oh, my God! - Oh! 112 00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,710 This is amazing! 113 00:06:07,711 --> 00:06:09,411 We're not alone! 114 00:06:09,412 --> 00:06:11,413 I-I'm Gail. This is Erica. 115 00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:14,616 Oh, my God. Hi-hi, Gail. Hi, Erica. I'm Phil! 116 00:06:14,617 --> 00:06:16,285 So were you the one who put up 117 00:06:16,286 --> 00:06:17,886 those "Alive in Tucson" billboards? 118 00:06:17,887 --> 00:06:19,088 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those were mine. 119 00:06:19,089 --> 00:06:20,456 I-I... I did that. 120 00:06:20,457 --> 00:06:22,224 So, it's just you? 121 00:06:22,225 --> 00:06:24,593 You're-you're all alone out here? 122 00:06:32,902 --> 00:06:35,904 Yes. Yes, yes. It's just me. 123 00:06:35,905 --> 00:06:37,640 It's just me. 124 00:06:37,641 --> 00:06:39,108 Do you mind? 125 00:06:39,109 --> 00:06:40,442 No! Aw! 126 00:06:45,398 --> 00:06:48,246 Can't believe how alone I've been. 127 00:06:48,247 --> 00:06:50,482 You know, just two years, all by my lonesome. 128 00:06:50,483 --> 00:06:52,084 - Oh, you poor thing. - Yeah. 129 00:06:52,085 --> 00:06:55,220 Well, you're not alone anymore. We're here now. 130 00:06:55,221 --> 00:06:58,023 Yeah. You are. 131 00:06:58,024 --> 00:07:00,025 Well... 132 00:07:00,026 --> 00:07:03,762 this is us. 133 00:07:06,365 --> 00:07:08,967 To a man being alive! 134 00:07:08,968 --> 00:07:10,469 Alive in Tucson! 135 00:07:10,470 --> 00:07:11,903 And then there were three! 136 00:07:16,242 --> 00:07:17,843 Mmm! 137 00:07:17,844 --> 00:07:19,311 This champagne is good! 138 00:07:19,312 --> 00:07:21,113 - Oprah quality. - Mm-hmm. 139 00:07:27,854 --> 00:07:29,521 So, uh, tell me about yourselves. 140 00:07:29,522 --> 00:07:33,258 Erica, do I detect a little accent? 141 00:07:33,259 --> 00:07:34,359 Yes, you do, Phil. 142 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,094 I thought as much. 143 00:07:36,095 --> 00:07:37,429 I was born in Sydney 144 00:07:37,430 --> 00:07:40,599 and I moved to Brisbane and then Adelaide and... 145 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,501 Crikey. That's a lot of places. 146 00:07:42,502 --> 00:07:43,802 Mmm. Now, Gail, 147 00:07:43,803 --> 00:07:44,870 how 'bout you? 148 00:07:44,871 --> 00:07:46,138 Oh, I'm just... 149 00:07:46,139 --> 00:07:47,305 a dumb little country girl 150 00:07:47,306 --> 00:07:48,874 from Wilmington, North Carolina. 151 00:07:48,875 --> 00:07:52,878 Now, Gail, I can already tell that you are very intelligent. 152 00:07:52,879 --> 00:07:54,379 You are 153 00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:56,648 the smart one... Those billboards. 154 00:07:56,649 --> 00:07:59,351 That was genius. 155 00:07:59,352 --> 00:08:01,353 I don't know about genius. E = MC squared. 156 00:08:01,354 --> 00:08:03,355 "I" before "E" except after "C." 157 00:08:03,356 --> 00:08:04,423 Sorry, that just popped out. 158 00:08:05,458 --> 00:08:07,793 Anyway, my hubby and I had a restaurant 159 00:08:07,794 --> 00:08:09,528 on the waterway there. 160 00:08:09,529 --> 00:08:11,163 Oh, my God. I love restaurants. 161 00:08:11,164 --> 00:08:12,431 Love waterways, too. 162 00:08:12,432 --> 00:08:15,534 Yeah. And, uh, how did the two of you guys meet? 163 00:08:15,535 --> 00:08:18,470 Well, after the virus, I started doing things on my bucket list. 164 00:08:18,471 --> 00:08:19,905 And, um, we ran 165 00:08:19,906 --> 00:08:21,373 into each other at the White House. 166 00:08:21,374 --> 00:08:23,642 I'm kind of a political nerd. 167 00:08:23,643 --> 00:08:25,777 Oh, me, too! Oh, donkeys and elephants. 168 00:08:25,778 --> 00:08:28,480 Love 'em both. Love the process. 169 00:08:28,481 --> 00:08:31,817 So, anyway, we've been traveling together ever since. 170 00:08:31,818 --> 00:08:33,385 - Mm... - This is crazy. 171 00:08:33,386 --> 00:08:36,021 We thought we were the only two people left on Earth. 172 00:08:36,022 --> 00:08:37,422 So I guess, 173 00:08:37,423 --> 00:08:41,760 uh, that's the end of that... chapter. 174 00:08:45,765 --> 00:08:47,933 Of course, 175 00:08:47,934 --> 00:08:50,068 maybe Phil's not even into girls. 176 00:08:55,074 --> 00:08:57,075 "Maybe Phil isn't into girls." 177 00:08:57,076 --> 00:08:59,077 I got news for you, lady. 178 00:08:59,078 --> 00:09:01,346 I'm v... Yeah, very much into girls. 179 00:09:01,347 --> 00:09:04,016 Well, I got to have some more of that champagne 180 00:09:04,017 --> 00:09:05,617 or I'm literally gonna die. 181 00:09:05,618 --> 00:09:07,519 I got it. I got it. 182 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,954 Here you go. 183 00:09:08,955 --> 00:09:11,056 Ooh, Phil. You were married? 184 00:09:11,057 --> 00:09:12,724 Uh... oh... 185 00:09:12,725 --> 00:09:14,726 well, um... 186 00:09:16,262 --> 00:09:17,429 You don't have to answer. 187 00:09:17,430 --> 00:09:19,431 There's no need to dredge up the past. 188 00:09:19,432 --> 00:09:22,100 Gail's right. The past is the past. 189 00:09:22,101 --> 00:09:23,969 To the future. 190 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,006 You know what? I should probably head out for a few. 191 00:09:28,007 --> 00:09:29,274 Oh, no. 192 00:09:29,275 --> 00:09:31,443 - Did we scare you off? - Oh, no, no, no. 193 00:09:31,444 --> 00:09:32,944 I just got to go deal with some stuff. 194 00:09:32,945 --> 00:09:35,914 You know, feed the meter, check the stove, drop by the bank. 195 00:09:35,915 --> 00:09:37,282 Do you want to come back for dinner? 196 00:09:40,653 --> 00:09:42,654 I would love to come to dinner. 197 00:09:42,655 --> 00:09:43,822 So... 198 00:09:43,823 --> 00:09:45,757 I will see you guys in a couple hours. 199 00:09:45,758 --> 00:09:48,326 Uh... to the future. 200 00:09:57,603 --> 00:09:59,604 There you are. 201 00:09:59,605 --> 00:10:01,940 Where have you been? 202 00:10:01,941 --> 00:10:04,309 I've been worried sick about you. 203 00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:06,478 Uh, just out getting you your items. 204 00:10:06,479 --> 00:10:07,812 You got the toilet paper. 205 00:10:07,813 --> 00:10:09,047 Well, that's not all. 206 00:10:09,048 --> 00:10:10,782 I got you everything on your shopping list, you know. 207 00:10:10,783 --> 00:10:12,517 Uh, and not out of obligation or guilt. 208 00:10:12,518 --> 00:10:13,852 Definitely not out of guilt. 209 00:10:13,853 --> 00:10:16,388 - Hotel sundries? I love this stuff! - Yeah. 210 00:10:16,389 --> 00:10:19,925 Wait, Phil, what were you doing at a hotel? 211 00:10:19,926 --> 00:10:21,359 Meeting your mistress? 212 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,095 Carol... Oh, oh, Carol... Good one. 213 00:10:25,965 --> 00:10:27,132 Phil, I'm not a dummy. 214 00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:29,334 We both know what you were up to today. 215 00:10:29,335 --> 00:10:31,336 We do? 216 00:10:31,337 --> 00:10:32,671 Yeah. 217 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,741 You were finding your smile. 218 00:10:36,742 --> 00:10:38,610 You got out of the house, 219 00:10:38,611 --> 00:10:41,413 you had a little alone time, and you started to find your smile. 220 00:10:41,414 --> 00:10:42,814 Yeah. You know that term? 221 00:10:42,815 --> 00:10:45,650 Finding your smile? It's from City Slickers. 222 00:10:45,651 --> 00:10:47,953 - The movie City Slickers? - Yeah. 223 00:10:47,954 --> 00:10:49,087 Okay. 224 00:10:49,088 --> 00:10:50,722 Bill Crystal's having some life problems, 225 00:10:50,723 --> 00:10:53,358 so he goes to a dude ranch to find his smile. 226 00:10:53,359 --> 00:10:55,894 - And...? - Oh, he finds it. 227 00:10:55,895 --> 00:10:57,362 Oh, good for him. 228 00:10:57,363 --> 00:10:59,364 - Yeah, he just needed to get away. - Good. 229 00:10:59,365 --> 00:11:00,699 Hmm... you know, 230 00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:02,568 Carol, maybe you're right. 231 00:11:02,569 --> 00:11:04,236 Having a little time to myself today 232 00:11:04,237 --> 00:11:05,671 really got my juices flowing. 233 00:11:05,672 --> 00:11:08,440 I mean, I'm like a frigging juice factory right now. 234 00:11:08,441 --> 00:11:10,342 Well, your juices should never go stagnant. 235 00:11:10,343 --> 00:11:11,610 I mean, they could coagulate. 236 00:11:11,611 --> 00:11:13,779 Yeah! No, they could. 237 00:11:13,780 --> 00:11:15,347 They could, they could. 238 00:11:15,348 --> 00:11:18,116 You know, what if I were to go do some camping tonight? 239 00:11:18,117 --> 00:11:19,551 You know, get out there and... 240 00:11:19,552 --> 00:11:21,486 and really look at the man in the mirror? 241 00:11:21,487 --> 00:11:23,555 'Cause I found, like, a little Mona Lisa smile today. 242 00:11:23,556 --> 00:11:26,391 But I want to find a real toothy grin, you know? 243 00:11:26,392 --> 00:11:28,293 I say go for it, Phil. 244 00:11:28,294 --> 00:11:30,028 Whatever you're doing, it's working. 245 00:11:30,029 --> 00:11:31,797 So keep doing it. 246 00:11:31,798 --> 00:11:33,398 I-Is that an order? 247 00:11:33,399 --> 00:11:34,733 Big time! 248 00:11:34,734 --> 00:11:36,668 'Cause when you smile, I smile. 249 00:11:36,669 --> 00:11:38,570 Now git. 250 00:11:38,571 --> 00:11:40,138 That's what they say on the dude ranch. 251 00:11:40,139 --> 00:11:41,507 To the doggies. 252 00:11:41,508 --> 00:11:43,609 Okay, well, see ya, and I would want to be ya, 253 00:11:43,610 --> 00:11:44,810 'cause you're great. 254 00:11:44,811 --> 00:11:47,079 Oh, thanks, Phil. 255 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,680 - Later. - Oh! 256 00:11:48,681 --> 00:11:50,048 What about your camping gear? 257 00:11:53,186 --> 00:11:55,320 Your smile and the moon. 258 00:11:55,321 --> 00:11:56,822 That's my camping gear. 259 00:11:56,823 --> 00:11:59,124 Well, then here's a big one 260 00:11:59,125 --> 00:12:01,460 to get you through the night. 261 00:12:04,130 --> 00:12:05,631 It's a good pic. 262 00:12:12,370 --> 00:12:15,681 Guys, hear me out. I am aware that, on paper, this whole 263 00:12:15,682 --> 00:12:17,916 Gail and Erica situation looks super dicey. 264 00:12:17,917 --> 00:12:20,085 But look, I asked God for a do-over 265 00:12:20,086 --> 00:12:23,464 and then, like, seconds later, these women showed up. 266 00:12:23,465 --> 00:12:25,724 That seems like an incredibly clear sign to me. 267 00:12:25,725 --> 00:12:29,060 And Carol specifically asked me to keep doing what I'm doing. 268 00:12:29,061 --> 00:12:32,897 Now, I know that I withheld a few key facts from her, 269 00:12:32,898 --> 00:12:35,667 but the bottom line is I think leading this double life 270 00:12:35,668 --> 00:12:38,370 is gonna make Phil Miller a better husband to her. 271 00:12:38,371 --> 00:12:41,072 Okay? When I smile, she smiles. 272 00:12:41,073 --> 00:12:43,875 But, look, hey, I want to hear your take on this, okay? 273 00:12:43,876 --> 00:12:46,044 If you think I'm making a mistake right now, 274 00:12:46,045 --> 00:12:47,579 please say so. 275 00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:49,381 No? 276 00:12:49,382 --> 00:12:50,749 Nobody? 277 00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:52,817 All right, don't be shy. This is a free speech zone. 278 00:12:52,818 --> 00:12:55,420 Always has been, always will be. 279 00:12:55,421 --> 00:12:57,389 All right, okay. 280 00:12:57,390 --> 00:12:58,957 How do I look? 281 00:12:58,958 --> 00:13:00,225 You guys! 282 00:13:00,226 --> 00:13:01,593 Thank you. 283 00:13:01,594 --> 00:13:02,894 I think he's gonna love it. 284 00:13:02,895 --> 00:13:04,763 - I think he's gonna love it. - Excuse me, ladies! 285 00:13:04,764 --> 00:13:06,398 We've gotten a few noise complaints. 286 00:13:06,399 --> 00:13:08,566 Hey! Phil! 287 00:13:08,567 --> 00:13:10,068 Apparently, you're being too quiet. 288 00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:13,738 Whoa, you ladies clean up real nice. 289 00:13:13,739 --> 00:13:15,740 Right back at you, Phil... 290 00:13:15,741 --> 00:13:17,909 wait, what's your last name? 291 00:13:20,546 --> 00:13:22,047 Cormaneau. 292 00:13:22,048 --> 00:13:23,548 Well, Phil Cormaneau, 293 00:13:23,549 --> 00:13:25,250 shall we adjourn to the dining room? 294 00:13:25,251 --> 00:13:28,053 I never thought you'd ask. 295 00:13:30,556 --> 00:13:33,758 My God, what's all this? 296 00:13:33,759 --> 00:13:35,293 Gail is an amazing chef. 297 00:13:35,294 --> 00:13:36,561 Aren't you sweet. 298 00:13:36,562 --> 00:13:39,097 Wait, are those raisin balls? 299 00:13:39,098 --> 00:13:41,433 God, no, those a Butterfinger cookie dough truffles. 300 00:13:41,434 --> 00:13:43,234 What are raisin balls? 301 00:13:43,235 --> 00:13:44,869 They're raisins that've been mushed together 302 00:13:44,870 --> 00:13:46,671 by someone's dirty hands. 303 00:13:46,672 --> 00:13:48,606 Well, that sounds gross. 304 00:13:48,607 --> 00:13:50,308 Who would make something like that? 305 00:13:50,309 --> 00:13:51,576 - Raisin balls? - Mmm! 306 00:13:51,577 --> 00:13:54,379 I'll definitely have one of those. All right. 307 00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:57,482 Well, you know, the place looks really nice, Carol. 308 00:13:57,483 --> 00:13:58,550 Thank you, Todd. 309 00:13:58,551 --> 00:13:59,918 I've been working hard to blend 310 00:13:59,919 --> 00:14:01,653 Phil's and my stuff together 311 00:14:01,654 --> 00:14:03,822 in a way that makes both of us happy. 312 00:14:03,823 --> 00:14:05,957 Well, I'm sure Phil's gonna love it. 313 00:14:05,958 --> 00:14:07,459 Where is Phil? 314 00:14:07,460 --> 00:14:09,894 Camping. He wanted some alone time. 315 00:14:09,895 --> 00:14:11,930 - That's weird. - Oh, I don't know, Melissa. 316 00:14:11,931 --> 00:14:13,798 You know, camping can be a very spiritual experience. 317 00:14:13,799 --> 00:14:16,334 God! Todd, are you in love with Phil? 318 00:14:17,570 --> 00:14:20,305 - No, I'm not. - It seems like it sometimes. 319 00:14:20,306 --> 00:14:22,607 I mean, maybe you should be married to him instead of Carol. 320 00:14:22,608 --> 00:14:24,275 Look, I am just playing devil's advocate here, 321 00:14:24,276 --> 00:14:25,477 because I feel like, you know, 322 00:14:25,478 --> 00:14:26,745 sometimes you're a little hard on him. 323 00:14:26,746 --> 00:14:27,912 Well, I don't trust him. 324 00:14:27,913 --> 00:14:29,514 I'm sorry, Carol. 325 00:14:29,515 --> 00:14:32,017 You know I just want what's best for you. 326 00:14:32,018 --> 00:14:34,219 I know how you feel, Melissa, but... 327 00:14:34,220 --> 00:14:35,654 I know what I'm doing with him. 328 00:14:35,655 --> 00:14:38,189 And, uh, how much trouble can he get in? 329 00:14:38,190 --> 00:14:39,424 More tequila? 330 00:14:39,425 --> 00:14:41,326 - Mmm, mmm, mmm. - Your funeral, buddy. 331 00:14:41,327 --> 00:14:43,161 Here we go. 332 00:14:43,162 --> 00:14:44,162 Close your mouth. 333 00:14:50,703 --> 00:14:53,938 Oh, my God, this guy is amazing. 334 00:14:53,939 --> 00:14:56,941 I'm so glad that the last man on Earth is fun. 335 00:14:56,942 --> 00:14:58,376 I'm just relieved that he's cute. 336 00:14:58,377 --> 00:15:00,145 Right back at you. 337 00:15:00,146 --> 00:15:01,413 - Mmm! - Oh, this is good! 338 00:15:03,516 --> 00:15:07,018 Mmm, mmm... 339 00:15:07,019 --> 00:15:09,454 Oh, oh. 340 00:15:09,455 --> 00:15:11,389 Oh... 341 00:15:11,390 --> 00:15:12,924 Yes. Mmm. 342 00:15:12,925 --> 00:15:15,026 You guys are liking that food, huh? 343 00:15:16,629 --> 00:15:18,697 So, Phil, what'd you think 344 00:15:18,698 --> 00:15:20,899 when we first popped out of that car? 345 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:23,501 Were you like, "Uh-oh! 346 00:15:23,502 --> 00:15:25,337 Who are these two crazy ladies?" 347 00:15:25,338 --> 00:15:27,672 As if. 348 00:15:28,941 --> 00:15:31,209 Oh, my God, no, it was like a... like a dream. 349 00:15:31,210 --> 00:15:32,744 Talk about a bucket list. 350 00:15:32,745 --> 00:15:34,045 You got a hot older lady, black girl. 351 00:15:34,046 --> 00:15:36,715 Ooh! Yes, please. 352 00:15:36,716 --> 00:15:38,483 Don't mind if I do. 353 00:15:38,484 --> 00:15:40,652 Older lady? 354 00:15:42,521 --> 00:15:45,223 Glad my skin color matched up to your bucket list. 355 00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:49,694 I-I didn't... You know, I didn't mean it 356 00:15:49,695 --> 00:15:52,097 the-the way that it, uh, seems. Appar... 357 00:15:52,098 --> 00:15:54,366 Uh, like, I'm... I did not mean it like that. 358 00:15:54,367 --> 00:15:56,368 Well then how did you mean it, Phil? 359 00:15:56,369 --> 00:15:58,937 You know, I meant it, like, you know, 360 00:15:58,938 --> 00:16:02,240 uh... Wh-Wh... It-It, uh... You know, 361 00:16:02,241 --> 00:16:04,075 an extremely attractive, 362 00:16:04,076 --> 00:16:07,212 uh, experienced, age-neutral 363 00:16:07,213 --> 00:16:08,580 woman, and-and 364 00:16:08,581 --> 00:16:09,714 another, you know, 365 00:16:09,715 --> 00:16:13,118 regardless of skin color... uh, black... 366 00:16:13,119 --> 00:16:14,452 woman. You know, I-I don't even 367 00:16:14,453 --> 00:16:15,987 know that you're black. I don't... I-I... 368 00:16:15,988 --> 00:16:17,789 You know, I don't know... Do... How do I know? 369 00:16:17,790 --> 00:16:19,391 What are you? I don't know. 370 00:16:19,392 --> 00:16:20,525 You know? What are all of us? 371 00:16:20,526 --> 00:16:24,396 Wow, this sure took a turn. 372 00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:29,568 I'm so sorry. I screwed up. 373 00:16:29,569 --> 00:16:32,370 I screwed up. I-I... You deserve to know the truth. 374 00:16:32,371 --> 00:16:33,939 The truth about what? 375 00:16:33,940 --> 00:16:35,640 A-About Carol. 376 00:16:35,641 --> 00:16:36,875 Who's Carol? 377 00:16:38,244 --> 00:16:39,744 My wife. 378 00:16:39,745 --> 00:16:41,813 Phil's a good person, Melissa. 379 00:16:41,814 --> 00:16:42,948 Well, if he makes you happy, Carol, 380 00:16:42,949 --> 00:16:44,049 that's good enough for me. 381 00:16:44,050 --> 00:16:45,317 He does make me happy. 382 00:16:45,318 --> 00:16:47,219 Sure, he does some weird stuff 383 00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:50,589 at times, but his heart's in the right place. 384 00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:53,458 Yeah, Carol is my wife. 385 00:16:53,459 --> 00:16:56,595 Well... was my wife. 386 00:16:56,596 --> 00:16:58,897 She passed away many moons ago. 387 00:16:58,898 --> 00:16:59,965 Oh. 388 00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:03,468 She died a long, protracted death. 389 00:17:03,469 --> 00:17:05,470 And, uh, you know, 390 00:17:05,471 --> 00:17:08,473 I nursed her through it. Every step of the way. 391 00:17:08,474 --> 00:17:10,008 I was there for her. 392 00:17:10,009 --> 00:17:11,943 And there were many steps. 393 00:17:11,944 --> 00:17:13,612 I'm just that kind of person. 394 00:17:13,613 --> 00:17:15,814 Oh. Awful. 395 00:17:15,815 --> 00:17:16,848 That's terrible. 396 00:17:16,849 --> 00:17:18,250 Yeah, sometimes I'd be 397 00:17:18,251 --> 00:17:20,185 tamping her forehead with a cool cloth, 398 00:17:20,186 --> 00:17:22,521 and she'd look up to me and she'd say, 399 00:17:22,522 --> 00:17:24,389 through her oxygen mask: 400 00:17:24,390 --> 00:17:26,791 "Phil, you're the best thing 401 00:17:26,792 --> 00:17:29,035 that's ever happened to me." 402 00:17:29,036 --> 00:17:32,430 - Aw... dear... - Oh, my God, Phil. Oh, my God. 403 00:17:32,431 --> 00:17:34,466 She said that. Thank you, that feels good. 404 00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:35,600 - Mm. - That feels good. 405 00:17:35,601 --> 00:17:38,970 At the end of her life, she told me... 406 00:17:38,971 --> 00:17:41,573 she said, "Phil... 407 00:17:41,574 --> 00:17:44,042 get out there, meet other women, 408 00:17:44,043 --> 00:17:45,343 find your smile. 409 00:17:45,344 --> 00:17:47,312 Ball's in your court. 410 00:17:47,313 --> 00:17:49,548 I'm dying. I'm almost dead." 411 00:17:49,549 --> 00:17:52,050 I just couldn't bring myself to do it. 412 00:17:52,051 --> 00:17:55,020 'Cause whenever I see a single woman... 413 00:17:55,021 --> 00:17:56,955 I'm thinking about her in her coffin. 414 00:17:58,491 --> 00:18:00,158 We will get you through this. 415 00:18:00,159 --> 00:18:01,860 We're here for you, Phil. 416 00:18:01,861 --> 00:18:03,795 - Mm. - Mm. 417 00:18:03,796 --> 00:18:05,297 Hey, Care Bear? 418 00:18:05,298 --> 00:18:06,965 - That's what I used to call her. - Mm. 419 00:18:06,966 --> 00:18:08,467 Smile found. 420 00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:15,470 Hey, sorry again for bringing down the party 421 00:18:15,471 --> 00:18:17,739 with my true story about my dead wife. 422 00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:18,906 I have an idea 423 00:18:18,907 --> 00:18:20,942 about how to get this party back on track. 424 00:18:21,977 --> 00:18:23,111 Let's all go skinny-dipping 425 00:18:23,112 --> 00:18:24,245 down at the hot springs. 426 00:18:25,648 --> 00:18:27,815 You are crazy. 427 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:30,184 A warning, Phil, this lady will have you 428 00:18:30,185 --> 00:18:32,887 doing things that you never thought you'd do. 429 00:18:32,888 --> 00:18:36,591 So, how about it, Phil... are you in? 430 00:18:47,903 --> 00:18:49,404 Race you to the car. 431 00:18:49,405 --> 00:18:50,672 Aah! 432 00:18:58,113 --> 00:18:59,547 Oh, that's nice decorative soap. 433 00:18:59,548 --> 00:19:00,815 Oh, thank you. 434 00:19:00,816 --> 00:19:02,684 Phil got that for me today, from a hotel. 435 00:19:02,685 --> 00:19:03,885 Wasn't that sweet? 436 00:19:03,886 --> 00:19:07,088 There, you see? Now that's a good guy. 437 00:19:07,089 --> 00:19:09,424 You know, we should do something nice for Phil. 438 00:19:09,425 --> 00:19:12,093 Show him our appreciation for everything he's done for us. 439 00:19:12,094 --> 00:19:14,462 That's a great idea, Todd. 440 00:19:14,463 --> 00:19:17,365 Phil deserves a little random act of kindness 441 00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:19,601 with a side of senseless act of beauty. 442 00:19:20,903 --> 00:19:22,637 What do you say, Melissa? 443 00:19:22,638 --> 00:19:24,272 I think you guys have had too much wine. 444 00:19:24,273 --> 00:19:25,340 Oh, you know what we should do? 445 00:19:25,341 --> 00:19:26,608 We should go to the party store, 446 00:19:26,609 --> 00:19:28,176 fill the house with balloons. 447 00:19:28,177 --> 00:19:29,577 Yes, yes, yes! 448 00:19:29,578 --> 00:19:30,979 I love it! 449 00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:32,680 Race you to the car. Okay! 450 00:19:39,121 --> 00:19:40,555 - I love hot springs. - Yeah. 451 00:19:40,556 --> 00:19:41,923 They're better than cold springs. 452 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,060 Phil, just to save a little time, 453 00:19:46,061 --> 00:19:48,129 why don't you go ahead and get those pants off? 454 00:19:48,130 --> 00:19:50,131 Carol would've wanted me to get these pants off. 455 00:19:50,132 --> 00:19:51,399 Yeah, you're right. Okay. 456 00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:55,537 Wait, what's that? 457 00:19:55,538 --> 00:19:58,740 - Holy balls, it's another car. - No... 458 00:19:58,741 --> 00:20:00,909 No, those are lightning bugs. We get 'em here all the time. 459 00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:02,610 - Flash your lights, flash your lights. - No, no, no, no, no! No! 460 00:20:02,611 --> 00:20:04,412 They flashed back! 461 00:20:04,413 --> 00:20:06,047 Oh, can you believe it, Phil? 462 00:20:06,048 --> 00:20:08,283 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no... - More people must've seen your billboards. 463 00:20:08,284 --> 00:20:09,751 No, no, no, no, no... 464 00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:11,920 - no, no... - Wow. 465 00:20:14,290 --> 00:20:16,724 Oh... Oh! 466 00:20:16,725 --> 00:20:19,494 - Oh. - Goodness. 467 00:20:21,664 --> 00:20:23,031 Hello! 468 00:20:23,032 --> 00:20:24,599 I guess a hug is in order. 469 00:20:25,868 --> 00:20:27,468 - Oh, my gosh. - Well, hi. 470 00:20:27,469 --> 00:20:28,670 Oh, my God. Amazing. 471 00:20:28,671 --> 00:20:30,305 Oh, wow. Wha... I... 472 00:20:30,306 --> 00:20:31,573 I'm Carol. I'm Carol. 473 00:20:31,574 --> 00:20:32,574 - Todd! - I'm Gail. 474 00:20:32,575 --> 00:20:35,005 I'm Erica. We're months without seeing anyone. 475 00:20:35,006 --> 00:20:37,518 And then we meet four new people, all in one day. 476 00:20:37,519 --> 00:20:39,814 You have to meet our-our nice young man friend. 477 00:20:39,815 --> 00:20:41,349 We were just going skinny-dipping. 478 00:20:41,350 --> 00:20:43,418 Ow, yow! 479 00:20:43,419 --> 00:20:44,919 - Come on! - Yeah. 480 00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:47,411 - Hey. - Hey. 481 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,524 What you doing in there? 482 00:20:49,525 --> 00:20:51,159 Open up. 483 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,760 What is... what is he doing? 484 00:20:52,761 --> 00:20:54,696 What is he do... 485 00:20:54,697 --> 00:20:56,131 Hey! 486 00:21:00,035 --> 00:21:01,202 Phil?! 487 00:21:01,203 --> 00:21:03,304 Wait, you know Phil? 488 00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:06,808 Phil's my husband. 489 00:21:08,619 --> 00:21:10,000 Surprise. 490 00:21:10,001 --> 00:21:13,428 - Synced and Corrected by peterbrito - - www.addic7ed.com - 33988

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