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Previously on The Last Man on Earth...
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We think you should
repopulate with Melissa.
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And you're okay with this?
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This is for repopulation purposes only.
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This is all so romantic.
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Let's just cut the BS and get to it.
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- I just have one more thing.
- Phil, come on.
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Now it's time
for the real fireworks.
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Do you hear something?
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- What the hell?
- Hey.
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I'm Todd.
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This is so crazy. Hi.
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I-I'm Melissa.
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- This is Phil.
- Hey, Todd.
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I can't believe I'm seeing you.
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I mean, I'd just given up on
looking for people, was headed
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to the next town when
I-I saw your fireworks.
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Phil set those off.
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Oh, God bless you, Phil.
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I mean, if you hadn't set those things off,
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- I'd be halfway to Mexico by now.
- Yeah, thank God
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I shot off those frigging fireworks, huh?
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I know. I was this close to driving to
the next town. This close, I... So close.
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Yeah, we're aware of
the timeline. That's been
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established. So you need
directions or something?
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Or, uh...
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Oh, my goodness, I am so sorry.
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I hope I... I wasn't
interrupting anything or...
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Oh, no, you-you weren't.
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Well, I mean. D... What...
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Todd, give us a quick sec, okay?
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Yeah, of course.
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Hey. I don't want to be rude,
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but this sex is pretty time sensitive.
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Okay? So we really got to buckle down here.
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And remember, this lovemaking
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is to save the human race.
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- And that's a big deal.
- Phil, another person just showed up.
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Wow, check out this setup, huh?
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Oh, no, no, no, don't touch that.
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That orgasm
was generously provided by
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Phil Miller.
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Sorry.
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- Synced and Corrected by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Carol.
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Turn that stuff off.
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Okay.
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Phil, you're back so soon.
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Thank you for keeping it expedient.
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Well, it didn't happen.
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- Oh, you have diarrhea?
- No.
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Melissa has diarrhea?
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No, Carol, nobody has diarrhea,
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Okay? Another guy
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just showed up out of nowhere.
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What? Another person?
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Yeah, some friggin' fat dude named Todd.
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Oh, my God.
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This is the best news.
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Melissa can repopulate
with him now and our babies
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won't have to have sex with each other.
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Well, we're not out of the water just yet.
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Why are we still in the water?
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Well, I just have a real hunch
that Melissa would way prefer
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to have sex with me over this
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- Todd character.
- Phil, the only
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reason we entered into this unholy Watusi
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was to spread out the gene pool.
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Carol, shame on you.
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We can't just force
Melissa to have sex with
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some stranger. I mean, that's
called human trafficking.
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Now, she has a Constitutional right
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to choose her own sexual partners, okay?
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This isn't Russia here.
This is the friggin' USA. Mm?
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Phil, are you really concerned
with Melissa's rights?
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Or are you just trying to
justify having sex with her?
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Yes.
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Yes to which one?
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Oh, to the one that makes
you happy. You know the one.
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Okay, good.
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Well, I want to meet him.
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Ugh, but I can't wear this.
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And all my clothes are still wet.
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Oh, I do have one thing that's dry.
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- So what brings you to Tucson, Todd?
- Oh, you know, actually,
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I was on my way to
Zihuatanejo from Baltimore when
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I saw Phil's "Alive in Tucson" billboard.
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Why were you going to Zihuatanejo?
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I... I-I got the idea from...
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uh, The Shawshank Redemption.
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Oh my God, that's...
that's my favorite movie.
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No, it's my favorite movie, too.
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- I've seen it, like, a hundred times.
- Melissa.
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It's just one of those
movies if you turn on the TV
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- Melissa. Melissa.
- and it happens to be on, you just...
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- just have to finish it.
- You have to finish it.
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Melissa, Melissa.
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It's my favorite movie, too.
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Big Shankhead here.
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I thought you said
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your favorite movie
was The Godfather.
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Carol, are you high?
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The Godfather is crap
next to Shawshank.
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Oh. Yes, Tom Hanks at his finest, right?
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Tom Hanks?
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What's your favorite part
of Shawshank, Phil?
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Uh...
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There's so many parts. So many parts to...
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choose from and to pick from.
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Uh, probably, you know, the-the part
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where the Shawshank is redeemed.
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'Cause, like, you know,
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Hanks does some...
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Well, I've never seen it.
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Well, I'm... You-You got to see it.
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You know? As they say in
the movie, get busy livin'
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- or get busy...
- Get busy dyin'.
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- Dyin'.
- Yeah.
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption.
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So, uh, Todd, what are you, uh, like,
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uh, three hundo? Two fiddy?
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Phil.
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What? What? I got... It's...
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I'm just curious.
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Hey, guys, it's okay.
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I've been overweight my whole life.
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- See? Both...
- Yeah, my
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parents died when I was really young,
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so I kind of turned to food for comfort.
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Oh.
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Kids were so mean, you know?
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I-I got teased a lot.
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Then, my senior year,
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I actually got voted Homecoming King.
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All I could think was, you know,
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if only...
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my mom and dad could see me now.
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And, uh... anyways,
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the night of the dance comes,
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and they lead me onstage
for the coronation.
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And I'm just beaming, you know?
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00:05:40,932 --> 00:05:43,100
And then they brought out my queen.
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Actually, they led her out on a leash,
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'cause my queen was a
barnyard pig wearing a tiara.
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- Oh.
- It was all just a...
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a big joke.
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Uh, but in answer to
your question, I'm 285.
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Thank you.
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00:06:01,953 --> 00:06:03,387
Guess what, Todd?
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All those kids from your high school?
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They're all dead now.
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So screw 'em. Right?
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Cheers to that. They can lick a duck,
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Todd.
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Hey, Todd...
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They can't hurt you anymore.
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Yeah.
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Well, it's... it's been a big day.
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I should-I should probably get to bed.
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Yeah.
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Hey, hey, you know what? I...
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I'm so happy to be here.
I mean, I just can't wait
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to get to know you better.
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- Good night.
- Good night.
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- Good night.
- Good night.
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What a great guy.
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I ever told you guys that I
had a little weight problem
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myself in high school?
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- No.
- Yeah. And so when Todd
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told those stories it stirred
up a lot of old gunk in me.
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All right,
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I'm gonna hit it, too, guys.
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You want to stick around and play
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a little Cranium or something?
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00:06:56,842 --> 00:06:59,210
- No.
- I'm afraid I insist.
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All right, then. Good night.
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Ah.
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00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:05,883
Wow.
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00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:08,118
That was like a welding
factory. Did you see
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all those sparks?
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Mm.
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Oh, Carol Pilbasian Miller,
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you are one crafty devil.
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Carol?
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What's this?
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00:07:32,544 --> 00:07:35,646
Oh, just a little nudge
for Melissa and Todd.
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I'm setting it up
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so they think the four of us
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are going on an outing,
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but you and I are gonna back out
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last-second.
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00:07:43,788 --> 00:07:46,423
Carol, this is a complete waste of glitter.
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00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,026
Okay? Melissa
would never go for Todd.
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I mean, she's beautiful and smart
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and kind and he's...
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Todd.
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00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:58,002
I don't know. I think they're
more alike than you think.
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00:07:58,003 --> 00:08:00,437
I mean, they had that whole
favorite movie in common.
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00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:01,906
Oh, please Carol,
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00:08:01,907 --> 00:08:04,675
love runs deeper than just
sharing a favorite movie.
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00:08:11,650 --> 00:08:13,517
Hey.
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00:08:13,518 --> 00:08:15,019
What's up, Phil?
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00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:17,188
Oh, just gettin' busy livin'.
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00:08:17,189 --> 00:08:19,056
I still can't believe that
Shawshank's your favorite movie too.
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00:08:19,057 --> 00:08:21,292
Uh, what a cool
thing to have in common.
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00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:23,827
Yeah, I guess. Though it's a lot
of people's favorite movie.
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00:08:23,828 --> 00:08:25,696
Yeah, I was actually thinking about my
favorite Shawshank quote
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00:08:25,697 --> 00:08:27,131
this morning. You want to hear it?
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00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,966
- Yeah.
- Okay,
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00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:32,303
this is Red, as played
by actor Morgan Freeman.
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00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:35,139
I have to remind myself
that some birds aren't meant
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to be caged. Their feathers
are just too bright.
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00:08:39,878 --> 00:08:41,212
Wow, that was...
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00:08:41,213 --> 00:08:43,380
And when they fly away,
the part of you that, uh,
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00:08:43,381 --> 00:08:45,516
knows it was a sin to lock them up
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00:08:45,517 --> 00:08:48,319
does rejoice.
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00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,588
- Huh? Yeah.
- That's really great.
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00:08:50,589 --> 00:08:53,090
Oh, my God, how about last
night when I said that Tom Hanks
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00:08:53,091 --> 00:08:55,159
was in Shawshank
and you totally fell for it?
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00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,694
You should have seen the look on your face.
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00:08:56,695 --> 00:08:58,963
You were like, what is
this guy talking about?
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00:08:58,964 --> 00:09:01,499
Well, no, I just
thought you hadn't seen the movie
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00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,067
and were pretending like you had.
224
00:09:03,068 --> 00:09:06,370
Classic. If I hadn't seen
it, would I have known that
225
00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:08,606
Richard Francis-Bruce
edited the dang thing?
226
00:09:08,607 --> 00:09:11,342
Or that, uh, Ken Magee
played Ned Grimes? Oh, jeez.
227
00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:14,278
What's going on here? You got a
bunch of Post-it notes up here.
228
00:09:14,279 --> 00:09:16,747
That's crazy. How'd you guys get
up there? No, no, no, I got 'em.
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00:09:16,748 --> 00:09:19,750
Well, I'm gonna get
these and get out of your hair.
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00:09:19,751 --> 00:09:21,252
Your hair's looking nice, by the way.
231
00:09:21,253 --> 00:09:22,720
Uh, quick question.
232
00:09:22,721 --> 00:09:24,822
Is now a good time to
talk about repopulation?
233
00:09:24,823 --> 00:09:25,823
No.
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00:09:25,824 --> 00:09:27,124
Okay, good, good. Oh...
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00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:28,926
Is this because Todd's here?
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00:09:28,927 --> 00:09:31,529
Okay, talk to you later.
237
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:33,430
It's... It seemslike it's a lot
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00:09:33,431 --> 00:09:34,965
of glitter until you get it on,
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00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:36,433
and then you just want more glitter.
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00:09:36,434 --> 00:09:38,269
- It's pretty.
- Knock, knock.
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00:09:38,270 --> 00:09:41,405
I'm here for the group outing.
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00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:44,742
Ah, showed up fashionably
on time. H-Hey, Melissa.
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00:09:44,743 --> 00:09:47,011
- Hey, Todd.
- Look at you two
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00:09:47,012 --> 00:09:49,580
in your fun casual wear.
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00:09:49,581 --> 00:09:52,316
Well, I'm so excited about
today. I can't wait to just
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00:09:52,317 --> 00:09:54,652
get out there and just
have some fun...
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00:09:55,687 --> 00:09:56,787
Excuse me.
248
00:09:56,788 --> 00:09:58,455
That was weird.
249
00:09:58,456 --> 00:10:00,791
I'm assuming it was nothing.
250
00:10:00,792 --> 00:10:02,426
So what's the plan, Stan?
251
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:04,461
Well, we are going to Señor Goodtimes
252
00:10:04,462 --> 00:10:06,397
Family Funtorium on Third Street.
253
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:08,132
They got mini golf.
254
00:10:08,133 --> 00:10:10,334
Go-karts. The whole kitchen caboodle...
255
00:10:11,770 --> 00:10:13,404
Carol?
256
00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:15,072
Kitchen cabood...
257
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,674
Oh, no.
258
00:10:16,675 --> 00:10:17,942
Here we go again.
259
00:10:17,943 --> 00:10:19,410
Carol, you okay?
260
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:20,811
Hang on one second. I'm sorry.
261
00:10:20,812 --> 00:10:22,813
No.
262
00:10:36,161 --> 00:10:39,463
Okay. All better now.
263
00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:43,434
Ooh.
264
00:10:47,806 --> 00:10:49,473
- Oh.
- C...
265
00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,375
- I am so sorry.
- No.
266
00:10:51,376 --> 00:10:53,777
I don't know if you heard
that, but I just vomited.
267
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,179
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we heard.
268
00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:56,747
Want to see it for proof?
269
00:10:56,748 --> 00:10:58,015
- No, no, no, no.
- No, it's okay.
270
00:10:58,016 --> 00:11:01,352
I just don't know
if I can go on this outing anymore.
271
00:11:01,353 --> 00:11:03,254
- You two go ahead without me.
- You sure?
272
00:11:03,255 --> 00:11:04,955
Yeah. Hey, party's in here I guess, huh?
273
00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:07,291
We're not gonna leave
you here when you're sick.
274
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,293
Oh, that's okay. Phil... Phil
will take care of me. Phil?
275
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,995
- What?
- I just vomited.
276
00:11:10,996 --> 00:11:12,863
It's in the pot if you want proof.
277
00:11:12,864 --> 00:11:15,599
I'm gonna need you to
stay here with me, so...
278
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:16,801
I want to go with them.
279
00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:19,470
Phil, you can't leave
your sick wife all alone.
280
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,938
Yeah, but Carol...
281
00:11:20,939 --> 00:11:22,073
Uh...
282
00:11:23,275 --> 00:11:25,343
You're right. You're right, yeah.
283
00:11:25,344 --> 00:11:27,111
You guys go ahead without us.
284
00:11:27,112 --> 00:11:29,213
Uh, got to stay here with my number one.
285
00:11:29,782 --> 00:11:31,149
- You guys have fun.
- All right.
286
00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:32,517
- Thanks.
- Well, feel better.
287
00:11:32,518 --> 00:11:33,685
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry.
288
00:11:33,686 --> 00:11:34,920
- Bye.
- Gosh.
289
00:11:34,921 --> 00:11:36,121
- Bye.
- Bye, Phil. Thank you.
290
00:11:36,122 --> 00:11:38,023
- See you, buddy.
- Yup. Yup.
291
00:11:39,759 --> 00:11:41,493
And that's the Pilbasian nudge.
292
00:11:42,929 --> 00:11:45,063
You want some soup?
293
00:11:53,361 --> 00:11:55,763
Gonna bump you.
294
00:11:55,764 --> 00:11:57,531
Oh. Oh, yeah?
295
00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:01,402
Both having fun playing
around on your little date?
296
00:12:04,439 --> 00:12:06,840
She makes it seem like
she's having fun by laughing,
297
00:12:06,841 --> 00:12:09,783
but I know what her real laugh's like.
298
00:12:10,045 --> 00:12:12,213
God.
299
00:12:12,214 --> 00:12:15,115
What a waste of an afternoon for her.
300
00:12:15,116 --> 00:12:17,518
Break something in the parking lot.
301
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:18,652
- Señor Goodtimes.
- That's my goal.
302
00:12:18,653 --> 00:12:19,787
Got it. I can feel it.
303
00:12:22,457 --> 00:12:23,958
Oh, my goodness!
304
00:12:23,959 --> 00:12:27,127
Oh, playing normal golf
at a putt-putt place.
305
00:12:27,128 --> 00:12:28,596
How original!
306
00:12:28,597 --> 00:12:30,531
I did that on, like, day one here.
307
00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:33,667
Can't you
get it through your head, dude?
308
00:12:33,668 --> 00:12:35,536
You're in the friend zone!
309
00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:36,837
- Ready?
- Yes.
310
00:12:36,838 --> 00:12:38,072
- Eyes closed.
- Okay.
311
00:12:39,808 --> 00:12:41,742
Mmm.
312
00:12:41,743 --> 00:12:44,311
Easy. Sour apple.
313
00:12:44,312 --> 00:12:45,846
You are good.
314
00:12:45,847 --> 00:12:48,382
- All right, your turn. Ready?
- Okay.
315
00:12:48,383 --> 00:12:50,384
Don't give me licorice again.
316
00:12:50,385 --> 00:12:53,854
What kind of guy do
you think I am, huh?
317
00:12:53,855 --> 00:12:56,156
-Todd. Ew! Todd!
- I didn't know that was licorice.
318
00:12:56,157 --> 00:12:58,859
- I didn't know it was licorice.
- Jellybean shower for you.
319
00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:00,361
- Okay.
- I swear I didn't know.
320
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,062
- You're getting a jellybean shower.
- No!
321
00:13:02,063 --> 00:13:04,632
You are!
322
00:13:04,633 --> 00:13:07,234
You're gonna get it.
323
00:13:07,235 --> 00:13:10,471
You can't be falling
for this dude, can you?
324
00:13:10,472 --> 00:13:12,806
- Truce?
- All right.
325
00:13:12,807 --> 00:13:14,642
Nah, you're just friends.
326
00:13:20,615 --> 00:13:22,583
Carol, I don't want to
327
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:25,486
demean your system here,
but it's just so elaborate.
328
00:13:25,487 --> 00:13:27,821
You just have a rag and a brush?
329
00:13:27,822 --> 00:13:30,824
Just keep spinning.
330
00:13:30,825 --> 00:13:34,094
Oh, I heard Melissa and Todd
had a really fun time today.
331
00:13:34,095 --> 00:13:36,430
- Is that so?
- That it so.
332
00:13:36,431 --> 00:13:39,834
And, uh, they're going
on another date tomorrow.
333
00:13:39,835 --> 00:13:41,902
- What?
- Yeah, a tennis date.
334
00:13:43,238 --> 00:13:45,406
Ah, I told you all they
needed was a little nudge.
335
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,208
Carol, will you stop nudging them?
336
00:13:47,209 --> 00:13:48,509
It's just wrong!
337
00:13:48,510 --> 00:13:50,144
I mean, you're trying to play God.
338
00:13:50,145 --> 00:13:51,745
That's enough nudges!
339
00:13:51,746 --> 00:13:53,180
This one wasn't me.
340
00:13:53,181 --> 00:13:55,216
Melissa asked Todd.
341
00:13:55,217 --> 00:13:57,585
She did?
342
00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,653
That's the power of the Pilbasian nudge.
343
00:13:59,654 --> 00:14:01,422
It's like a Slinky.
344
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:03,624
I just give them the
initial push, and they take
345
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,426
the rest of the steps on their own.
346
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,328
You know what, Carol?
347
00:14:07,329 --> 00:14:08,529
Maybe we should join them.
348
00:14:08,530 --> 00:14:11,131
I think we should let
them be alone together.
349
00:14:11,132 --> 00:14:13,000
Well, this is a really
critical time for them.
350
00:14:13,001 --> 00:14:15,469
You know, one false move, and
the whole thing could be off.
351
00:14:15,470 --> 00:14:18,439
Phil Miller, getting in
on the nudge game, huh?
352
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,841
I just want to be there to make sure
353
00:14:20,842 --> 00:14:24,078
things go exactly how we want them to.
354
00:14:24,079 --> 00:14:27,748
All right, guys, well, thanks again
for letting us join here.
355
00:14:27,749 --> 00:14:30,017
- Keep in mind, I've never played before.
- Thanks.
356
00:14:30,018 --> 00:14:32,419
Well, don't worry, Todd.
You're gonna be on my team.
357
00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:34,522
- I'll show you the ropes.
- Oh, no, no, no.
358
00:14:34,523 --> 00:14:36,190
I think Todd should be with Melissa.
359
00:14:36,191 --> 00:14:38,292
Oh, too late, Carol. I called him.
360
00:14:40,295 --> 00:14:42,663
Okay, so, Melissa, why don't
you and Carol be shirts,
361
00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:44,298
and Todd and I will be skins?
362
00:14:46,101 --> 00:14:47,801
Shirts and skins? You
don't do that in tennis.
363
00:14:47,802 --> 00:14:49,803
Oh, no, not normally, but you know,
364
00:14:49,804 --> 00:14:51,138
Todd's new to the game. I think
365
00:14:51,139 --> 00:14:53,007
it'll be easier for him
to identify the teams
366
00:14:53,008 --> 00:14:54,241
if we're doing shirts and skins.
367
00:14:54,242 --> 00:14:56,110
There's a net separating the teams.
368
00:14:56,111 --> 00:14:57,811
Yeah, but what if the net breaks?
369
00:14:57,812 --> 00:14:59,680
Oh, look at you. Got a little belly.
370
00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:01,315
No, I don't. I do not.
371
00:15:01,316 --> 00:15:02,616
Pop a skin. Come on.
372
00:15:02,617 --> 00:15:04,251
Uh, you know, I don't care.
373
00:15:04,252 --> 00:15:06,086
I mean, it's kind of
hot out here anyway, so,
374
00:15:06,087 --> 00:15:07,521
skins it is.
375
00:15:07,522 --> 00:15:10,191
Oh, my God.
376
00:15:10,192 --> 00:15:12,293
Todd, what happened?
377
00:15:12,294 --> 00:15:13,460
It's pretty simple really.
378
00:15:13,461 --> 00:15:14,662
Just a long history of overeating.
379
00:15:15,797 --> 00:15:17,498
You mean the scar?
380
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:19,099
Scar?
381
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:20,801
Oh, ew!
382
00:15:20,802 --> 00:15:23,003
It's disgusting, right?
383
00:15:23,004 --> 00:15:26,273
I donated one of my kidneys
to my foster brother Hector.
384
00:15:26,274 --> 00:15:28,843
- Oh, that is so sweet.
- Todd.
385
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:30,444
Tennis, anyone?
386
00:15:30,445 --> 00:15:33,047
It was about ten years ago.
387
00:15:33,048 --> 00:15:36,450
He had this disease where his
kidneys couldn't process sodium.
388
00:15:36,451 --> 00:15:39,220
We could not find a donor.
You know, so I got checked out.
389
00:15:39,221 --> 00:15:41,021
- It was match, and, uh...
- Love serving love!
390
00:15:41,022 --> 00:15:42,490
A week later, we did the surgery.
391
00:15:42,491 --> 00:15:43,824
First, it was looking
really good, you know?
392
00:15:43,825 --> 00:15:44,992
Love serving love.
393
00:15:44,993 --> 00:15:46,794
Hector was starting to get his color back.
394
00:15:46,795 --> 00:15:49,230
- And all of a sudden...
- Okay, fault!
395
00:15:49,231 --> 00:15:50,831
His body rejected the kidney.
396
00:15:50,832 --> 00:15:51,999
- Oh.
- Oh.
397
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,634
Just like that, he was gone.
398
00:15:55,237 --> 00:15:56,504
Uh... let.
399
00:15:56,505 --> 00:15:57,872
He was only 13.
400
00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,340
Serving two!
401
00:15:59,341 --> 00:16:01,041
- That's horrible. I'm so sorry.
- Up!
402
00:16:01,042 --> 00:16:04,211
I'm sorry. I'm just gonna...
403
00:16:04,212 --> 00:16:05,946
Guys, we're losing the light here!
404
00:16:05,947 --> 00:16:08,349
Need a minute. Thank you.
405
00:16:08,350 --> 00:16:10,918
Wait, Todd. Wait.
406
00:16:10,919 --> 00:16:13,187
Oh, poor guy.
407
00:16:13,188 --> 00:16:15,756
- I'm gonna go check on Todd.
- No, leave them alone!
408
00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:18,058
I will. Oh...
409
00:16:22,931 --> 00:16:25,866
Oh.
410
00:16:25,867 --> 00:16:27,968
Brilliant nudge.
411
00:16:27,969 --> 00:16:30,304
How did you know about the scar?
412
00:16:30,305 --> 00:16:34,175
Just dumb luck I guess.
413
00:16:34,176 --> 00:16:35,843
Well, it worked perfectly.
414
00:16:40,549 --> 00:16:42,550
Mm.
415
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:55,947
Hey! Just checking in see
how you're doing tonight.
416
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,115
I'm fine.
417
00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,751
Good, good. Good.
418
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,153
So uh, Todd, huh?
419
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,923
What a guy.
420
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:06,224
Yeah, he's a great guy.
421
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:07,626
Yeah, yeah.
422
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:10,161
He's just a big ol'
breath of fresh air, or...
423
00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,097
seems like it right now at least, huh?
424
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:13,632
How so?
425
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,634
Well...
426
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:18,403
I have a lot of experience
with the fat community.
427
00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:21,406
Uh, in the old world, all
of my friends were fats.
428
00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:23,575
You know, just every last one of them.
429
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:26,478
My skinniest friend was 225,
and he was five foot, two.
430
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:29,180
So I know the mindset
of the fats very well.
431
00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:30,849
And what is the mindset?
432
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,218
Fats are very loose with the facts.
433
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:36,288
You know, they've been ridiculed
their whole lives, so they,
434
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,056
you know... they pump up their stats.
435
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,592
Uh, for instance, a fat who
works in a mailroom might claim
436
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,961
at a cocktail party that
they're the CEO of the company.
437
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:44,963
That kind of stuff. Uh...
438
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,866
You know, I hate to say
this, I really do, but...
439
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,635
it's hard to trust fats.
440
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:52,804
You are such an ass.
441
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,072
I'm concerned about you.
442
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,573
Wait! Wait! Wait! Melissa!
443
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,676
Come on, I'm trying to help you here!
444
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:01,680
Damn it!
445
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,559
Melissa!
446
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,861
I'm sorry. Todd's a great guy.
447
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:18,597
He didn't deserve this.
448
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,765
I think I'm going crazy.
449
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:26,738
Look, for the last two years, I've...
450
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,940
All I've been doing is, like, going around
451
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,976
drinking and breaking stuff
452
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:35,447
and-and talking to sports
balls like they were people.
453
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,016
But now that actual people are here, I...
454
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:41,286
You know, I'm still trying to
figure out how to talk to 'em.
455
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,425
So... you're right.
456
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,393
But whether you believe it or not,
457
00:18:43,851 --> 00:18:45,818
I'm an ass.
458
00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:51,096
I'm-I'm really, really sorry.
459
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,766
Okay. Good night.
460
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:04,576
You talk to sports balls?
461
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,645
And that's Bryce, and that is Antawn
462
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,214
and Diego and Gary.
463
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:10,782
Gary's like my best friend.
464
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:13,952
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
465
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:15,353
Thanks for showing me this.
466
00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:16,955
That explains a lot, actually.
467
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,657
Yeah. I know.
468
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,292
You want a whiskey?
469
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:21,826
- Sure.
- Okay.
470
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,995
All right.
471
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,997
Phil, can I ask you something?
472
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,266
Sure.
473
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:30,502
What's your favorite movie?
474
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,239
What is my favorite movie?
475
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,309
- Mm.
- Uh...
476
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:39,344
The Godfather.
477
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,079
Why didn't you just say that?
478
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,415
I don't know. I... I just... I don't know.
479
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:46,418
The Godfather is like
my second favorite movie.
480
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:48,453
And Tom Hanks is phenomenal in it.
481
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,959
I deserved that. I did deserve that.
482
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,161
Just be honest with me about stuff.
483
00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:57,963
Yeah?
484
00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,364
Yeah.
485
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,733
Okay, okay.
486
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,735
Well, here goes nothing.
487
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:13,845
You... were the one I was waiting for.
488
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,780
From the moment I met you,
489
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:18,617
you took my breath away.
490
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:22,621
I mean, I've never felt this
way about anybody else before.
491
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:24,389
And...
492
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,358
when I'm around you, I'm a frigging idiot.
493
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,892
I say the dumbest things.
494
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,995
Because I can't think straight.
495
00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:33,665
Because... when I look into your eyes,
496
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:35,800
all I can think about is
497
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:38,236
how every minute of every day
498
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:41,606
I want to be looking into those eyes.
499
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:46,144
I think I'm falling in love with you.
500
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:47,879
Is there any chance
501
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,982
that you would feel that same way about me?
502
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,953
No.
503
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:05,630
So I was gonna say all that stuff to Carol.
504
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:08,099
- Uh, what do you think?
- Any notes?
505
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,068
No, I think Carol will love that.
506
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:12,404
Yeah, good. Okay, that's
what I was thinking, too.
507
00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:15,073
Yeah, I'll just keep it
exactly the same for Carol.
508
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:17,108
Yeah.
509
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:20,111
- Synced and Corrected by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -
36152
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