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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,202 Previously on The Last Man on Earth... 2 00:00:19,203 --> 00:00:20,770 There's another person on Earth! 3 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:21,905 I know. I know. 4 00:00:21,906 --> 00:00:22,472 Hello, ladies. 5 00:00:22,473 --> 00:00:25,108 What's gotten into you? 6 00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:26,543 I'm so horny, Phil. The only man 7 00:00:26,544 --> 00:00:28,478 left on the face of the Earth and he's married. 8 00:01:16,961 --> 00:01:19,963 And then he said, "Have you ever heard the phrase 9 00:01:19,964 --> 00:01:21,965 "'I wouldn't have sex with you 10 00:01:21,966 --> 00:01:24,367 if you were the last person on Earth'?" 11 00:01:24,368 --> 00:01:26,703 And then two days later somebody changed his tune. 12 00:01:26,704 --> 00:01:28,505 Didn't you, you little tunesmith? 13 00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:31,441 Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. God... 14 00:01:31,442 --> 00:01:32,642 That's really... 15 00:01:32,643 --> 00:01:34,210 Romantic? Yeah. 16 00:01:34,211 --> 00:01:36,880 Melissa, I am so happy you're here. 17 00:01:36,881 --> 00:01:38,081 Me, too. 18 00:01:38,082 --> 00:01:39,282 Me, too. It's so nice to have 19 00:01:39,283 --> 00:01:41,117 - a girlfriend to talk to. - I'm not only 20 00:01:41,118 --> 00:01:43,887 your girlfriend. I will be your BFF. 21 00:01:43,888 --> 00:01:45,021 You have no choice. 22 00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:46,289 Girlfriends! 23 00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:47,991 - Mm-hmm. - Uh-oh. 24 00:01:47,992 --> 00:01:49,993 I need a refresher. 25 00:01:49,994 --> 00:01:51,594 Should I get another bottle? 26 00:01:51,595 --> 00:01:52,295 For sure. For sure. 27 00:01:52,296 --> 00:01:53,830 Take off and... Yeah. 28 00:01:53,831 --> 00:01:55,765 Okay, okay. Why not? 29 00:01:55,766 --> 00:01:58,401 We're having fun. 30 00:01:58,402 --> 00:02:00,403 Yeah. Hey, 31 00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:03,106 you know what, I had such a great time last night. 32 00:02:03,107 --> 00:02:05,241 Oh, God. I'm so embarrassed. 33 00:02:05,242 --> 00:02:07,510 Oh, my God. I-I don't remember you saying anything 34 00:02:07,511 --> 00:02:08,678 you should be embarrassed about. 35 00:02:08,679 --> 00:02:10,914 No, I did. I mean, I said I was... 36 00:02:10,915 --> 00:02:12,582 You were horny. Yeah, I-I remember. 37 00:02:14,151 --> 00:02:15,585 Well, I was drunk 38 00:02:15,586 --> 00:02:16,987 - and feeling s... - Well, but, I mean, not that drunk. 39 00:02:16,988 --> 00:02:18,121 We were both drinking. 40 00:02:18,122 --> 00:02:19,289 - Neither of us... - I was drunk 41 00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:20,857 - and feeling sad for myself. - Were you? Okay. 42 00:02:20,858 --> 00:02:22,058 You didn't tell Carol, did you? 43 00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:23,393 No. No way. 44 00:02:23,394 --> 00:02:26,429 Hey, you and I can have our own little secrets, huh? 45 00:02:26,430 --> 00:02:29,432 Okay, good. I just wouldn't want her to get the wrong idea. 46 00:02:29,433 --> 00:02:30,967 Yeah, we wouldn't want that. And I know 47 00:02:30,968 --> 00:02:33,603 you guys have a weird situation with your marriage and all, 48 00:02:33,604 --> 00:02:35,472 but... Yes, very weird. And I actually wanted 49 00:02:35,473 --> 00:02:36,806 - to talk to you about that. - But I think 50 00:02:36,807 --> 00:02:38,508 it's really great that you're going for it, 51 00:02:38,509 --> 00:02:40,343 - and I really respect you for that. - Well, thank you. 52 00:02:40,344 --> 00:02:42,606 - But going for it might be a little... - Phil, just take the compliment. 53 00:02:42,607 --> 00:02:44,714 You're one of the good guys. 54 00:02:44,715 --> 00:02:46,182 Yeah. You care about your marriage. 55 00:02:46,183 --> 00:02:47,450 Obviously. 56 00:02:47,451 --> 00:02:49,152 And I love that. 57 00:02:49,153 --> 00:02:50,420 Because I got cheated on. 58 00:02:51,722 --> 00:02:53,323 Cheaters can go to hell. 59 00:02:53,324 --> 00:02:56,359 Okay. Prosecco delivery. 60 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,361 Here you go, lady. 61 00:02:58,362 --> 00:03:00,096 Mmm. 62 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,165 Okay. 63 00:03:02,166 --> 00:03:03,533 One last glass. 64 00:03:03,534 --> 00:03:04,801 To girlfriends. 65 00:03:04,802 --> 00:03:06,303 - To girlfriends. - Cheers. 66 00:03:06,304 --> 00:03:07,504 Cheers. 67 00:03:10,641 --> 00:03:12,008 Wow. 68 00:03:12,009 --> 00:03:13,310 Uh-oh. 69 00:03:13,311 --> 00:03:15,645 This Prosecco's making me frisky. 70 00:03:15,646 --> 00:03:18,715 Wink, wink. Frisky for sex. 71 00:03:18,716 --> 00:03:19,916 Come on, Phil. 72 00:03:19,917 --> 00:03:21,718 When duty calls, huh? 73 00:03:21,719 --> 00:03:25,488 Committed to this marriage. Wink, wink. 74 00:03:25,489 --> 00:03:27,357 You guys have fun. 75 00:03:27,358 --> 00:03:29,125 Carol, I-I think 76 00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,461 we might have to cut down on the public displays of affection 77 00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:33,863 - for a bit. - What? Why? 78 00:03:33,864 --> 00:03:35,865 I'm proud that you're my husband, 79 00:03:35,866 --> 00:03:37,801 and I want to revel in it. 80 00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:40,670 Yeah, but, hey, hey, think about Melissa. 81 00:03:40,671 --> 00:03:42,205 I mean, how would you feel if you had to watch 82 00:03:42,206 --> 00:03:43,707 Melissa and I make out all the time? 83 00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:45,208 Would you be okay with that? 84 00:03:46,043 --> 00:03:47,043 I mean... 85 00:03:47,044 --> 00:03:48,044 would you be okay with that? 86 00:03:48,045 --> 00:03:49,045 No. 87 00:03:49,046 --> 00:03:50,380 Okay. That's what I thought. 88 00:03:50,381 --> 00:03:51,314 So... 89 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,249 should we get to it? 90 00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:54,417 Carol, are you sure 91 00:03:54,418 --> 00:03:55,752 we're not rushing into this whole... 92 00:03:55,753 --> 00:03:57,587 - "having a baby" thing? - No. 93 00:03:57,588 --> 00:04:00,423 Phil, this is the most important thing we can do 94 00:04:00,424 --> 00:04:01,758 - for the world. - I know. 95 00:04:01,759 --> 00:04:04,027 We need to make babies for the human race to survive. 96 00:04:04,028 --> 00:04:06,296 As many babies as possible. 97 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:11,434 We need to have as many babies as possible. 98 00:04:11,435 --> 00:04:14,604 Those were Carol's exact words. And then it hit me. 99 00:04:14,605 --> 00:04:16,239 Okay. 100 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:17,574 Now let's say that, Kevin, 101 00:04:17,575 --> 00:04:19,409 you're having a baby with Antawn. 102 00:04:19,410 --> 00:04:20,777 Okay? 103 00:04:20,778 --> 00:04:22,345 This gum is your baby. 104 00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,414 Congratulations. Now, this whole 105 00:04:24,415 --> 00:04:28,618 repopulation thing grinds to a halt until that baby is born. 106 00:04:28,619 --> 00:04:30,086 Unless... 107 00:04:30,087 --> 00:04:34,157 unless Kevin also impregnates 108 00:04:34,158 --> 00:04:36,059 Trevor. 109 00:04:36,060 --> 00:04:38,295 There you go. You're gonna be a great dad. 110 00:04:38,296 --> 00:04:39,896 Anyway, don't you see? 111 00:04:39,897 --> 00:04:42,098 As many babies as possible 112 00:04:42,099 --> 00:04:45,302 means there have to be two balls pregnant at any given time. 113 00:04:45,303 --> 00:04:47,704 So therefore... And this is the whole reason 114 00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:49,272 I brought you here, listen up... 115 00:04:49,273 --> 00:04:51,675 I should be impregnating both Carol and Melissa 116 00:04:51,676 --> 00:04:53,276 for the good of humanity. 117 00:04:53,277 --> 00:04:56,479 Ah. But how do I get them on board? 118 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,815 I got to play this real careful. 119 00:04:58,816 --> 00:05:00,617 Nothing crazy. 120 00:05:00,618 --> 00:05:02,452 Hey, neighbor. 121 00:05:02,453 --> 00:05:04,254 Hey. How was last night? 122 00:05:04,255 --> 00:05:06,256 Great. Great. Just doing our civic duty. 123 00:05:06,257 --> 00:05:08,591 Uh, speaking of which, you're generally in favor 124 00:05:08,592 --> 00:05:09,993 of saving the human race, right? 125 00:05:09,994 --> 00:05:10,994 Of course. 126 00:05:10,995 --> 00:05:13,430 That's good to know. Good to know. 127 00:05:13,431 --> 00:05:17,000 - So did you need something or... - Oh, yeah. 128 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:19,469 Uh, just came by to get your read on these pants. 129 00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:20,704 What do you think? 130 00:05:23,274 --> 00:05:26,276 They're good. Good pants. 131 00:05:26,277 --> 00:05:28,345 Yeah? Yeah? But isn't there some kind of weird rule 132 00:05:28,346 --> 00:05:30,347 that you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day? 133 00:05:30,348 --> 00:05:32,382 Or some restrictive rule like that? 134 00:05:32,383 --> 00:05:34,918 Yeah, but I think you're fine. 135 00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:37,854 So just... shirk that rule? Just chuck it out? 136 00:05:37,855 --> 00:05:39,456 I won't tell anyone if you don't. 137 00:05:39,457 --> 00:05:42,292 Good. Good. 138 00:05:42,293 --> 00:05:44,894 Good. Is that all? 139 00:05:44,895 --> 00:05:46,763 I-I'm kind of busy. 140 00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:48,431 No, not yet. 'Cause I was just thinking, 141 00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:51,134 how crazy is it that there was a time when Rosa Parks 142 00:05:51,135 --> 00:05:53,303 couldn't sit on a bus wherever she wanted to, you know? 143 00:05:53,304 --> 00:05:54,771 And then just one day 144 00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:56,172 she just said, like, "No. 145 00:05:56,173 --> 00:05:58,775 No way. I'm gonna sit wherever I want to." 146 00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,944 You know? Hey, to Rosa Parks 147 00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:03,413 and everyone like her who believes in change. 148 00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:07,917 So would it be safe to say that, leaving this conversation, 149 00:06:07,918 --> 00:06:10,920 I would not be crazy to describe you as an open-minded person 150 00:06:10,921 --> 00:06:12,255 who believes in change 151 00:06:12,256 --> 00:06:14,624 and is generally in favor of repopulation? 152 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:17,060 Yeah. 153 00:06:17,061 --> 00:06:18,762 I'm the exact same way. 154 00:06:18,763 --> 00:06:21,131 Enjoy that corn. 155 00:06:22,433 --> 00:06:26,436 Carol! Carol! Are you here?! 156 00:06:27,438 --> 00:06:29,706 Carol? 157 00:06:29,707 --> 00:06:30,607 Phil? 158 00:06:30,608 --> 00:06:32,609 Oh, Carol! 159 00:06:32,610 --> 00:06:34,411 What's going on? Are you okay? 160 00:06:34,412 --> 00:06:37,414 No, Carol! No, I'm not okay! 161 00:06:37,415 --> 00:06:39,916 Calm down. Calm down. Just have a seat 162 00:06:39,917 --> 00:06:42,185 and tell me what's going on, Phil. 163 00:06:42,186 --> 00:06:43,920 Just sit down. Just calm down. What am I gonna do? 164 00:06:43,921 --> 00:06:46,623 Calm down. Just use your words. 165 00:06:48,225 --> 00:06:51,528 Okay, so I was just going about my day, you know, 166 00:06:51,529 --> 00:06:53,797 thinking about how we might've made a baby 167 00:06:53,798 --> 00:06:55,865 and how freakin' excited I am about it. 168 00:06:55,866 --> 00:06:58,093 You know, w-we both know how important 169 00:06:58,094 --> 00:07:00,103 - repopulation is. - Of course. Of course. 170 00:07:00,104 --> 00:07:02,339 And then I just had the worst thought. 171 00:07:04,008 --> 00:07:06,543 Carol, I don't know what to do... 172 00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:10,013 Shh... 173 00:07:10,014 --> 00:07:11,114 Just calm down. 174 00:07:11,115 --> 00:07:13,850 Just use your words. You got this. 175 00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:17,187 I just had a moment of sickening clarity, 176 00:07:17,188 --> 00:07:19,656 and I just was forced to ask myself 177 00:07:19,657 --> 00:07:23,460 a question that no future parent should deserve to ask themself. 178 00:07:23,461 --> 00:07:25,295 What question? 179 00:07:25,296 --> 00:07:29,099 Carol, do you want our babies 180 00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,868 to have sex with each other? 181 00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:33,703 No, Phil! 182 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:37,707 - No. - I know! I don't either! 183 00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:41,711 But how else can the human race go on beyond our kids?! 184 00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:45,415 Okay. Shh. Okay. We can get through this. 185 00:07:45,416 --> 00:07:47,751 We'll figure it out. No. 186 00:07:47,752 --> 00:07:49,886 I don't think we can figure this out. 187 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:52,355 There's only one solution. 188 00:07:52,356 --> 00:07:55,425 Oh, you found a solution? Well, that's great. 189 00:07:55,426 --> 00:07:56,860 Not great. 190 00:07:56,861 --> 00:07:58,428 Why? 191 00:07:58,429 --> 00:08:00,630 The solution is the hardest part. 192 00:08:00,631 --> 00:08:02,399 Why? 193 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,067 Because... 194 00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:08,071 I'm gonna have to have sex with Melissa! 195 00:08:14,779 --> 00:08:17,347 Wah, wah, wah, wah... 196 00:08:23,827 --> 00:08:25,662 You want to have sex with Melissa?! 197 00:08:25,663 --> 00:08:29,265 No, I don't want to have sex with Melissa. Ew. 198 00:08:29,266 --> 00:08:31,834 I have to have sex with Melissa. 199 00:08:31,835 --> 00:08:34,404 - Phil, this hurts my ears. - Carol, 200 00:08:34,405 --> 00:08:37,140 it hurts my lips to say it. 201 00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:39,208 But our backs are against the wall here. 202 00:08:39,209 --> 00:08:40,610 I mean, like you said, 203 00:08:40,611 --> 00:08:42,979 this Earth needs as many babies as possible. 204 00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:45,481 But I meant Phil and Carol babies. 205 00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:48,685 Carol, we cannot put our babies in a situation 206 00:08:48,686 --> 00:08:50,520 where they have to have sex with each other. 207 00:08:50,521 --> 00:08:53,523 Our babies need other babies to have sex with. 208 00:08:53,524 --> 00:08:55,858 I mean, that's just Parenting 101. 209 00:08:55,859 --> 00:08:59,195 Oh, God. Okay, okay. 210 00:08:59,196 --> 00:09:02,465 Maybe I do need to think about this. 211 00:09:06,704 --> 00:09:08,204 That's my Care Bear. 212 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,873 Be strong. 213 00:09:10,874 --> 00:09:12,375 We'll be strong together. 214 00:09:12,376 --> 00:09:15,645 Now, you take as much time as you need to think about it. 215 00:09:15,646 --> 00:09:17,513 But I'll leave you with this... 216 00:09:18,983 --> 00:09:20,817 Do you want... 217 00:09:20,818 --> 00:09:22,752 our babies... 218 00:09:24,254 --> 00:09:26,189 to have sex... 219 00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,191 with each other? 220 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,894 I vote no. 221 00:09:31,895 --> 00:09:34,163 And Melissa does, too. 222 00:09:34,164 --> 00:09:36,366 Wait, you already talked to Melissa about this? 223 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:39,302 No. 224 00:09:39,303 --> 00:09:41,404 What? Well, then how do you know what she thinks? 225 00:09:41,405 --> 00:09:43,439 You know, just picking up little things here and there. 226 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:44,907 - Like what, though? - Just, like, 227 00:09:44,908 --> 00:09:46,376 she's generally open to change 228 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:48,378 and in favor of repopulation 229 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,580 - and she's been horny. - What?! 230 00:09:50,581 --> 00:09:53,282 No, Carol, she's not talking about being horny about me. 231 00:09:53,283 --> 00:09:55,251 It's more of a general horniness, you know? 232 00:09:55,252 --> 00:09:56,653 - Horny at the world. - Phil, 233 00:09:56,654 --> 00:09:58,655 you're the last man on the face of the Earth. 234 00:09:58,656 --> 00:10:01,224 - About whom else would she be speaking? - I don't know. 235 00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,226 She could be talking about anyone, you know? 236 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,261 I-I'm trying to do what's best for the Earth. 237 00:10:05,262 --> 00:10:07,130 You know, you're being crazy here. 238 00:10:07,131 --> 00:10:09,032 I am not. You're being a skunk! 239 00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:10,299 You take that back. 240 00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:11,768 No, you're a skunk, Phil! 241 00:10:11,769 --> 00:10:14,037 You're just... skunkin' around, 242 00:10:14,038 --> 00:10:16,439 just getting busy with one lady and then, oh, 243 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:17,774 skunkin' on down the road, 244 00:10:17,775 --> 00:10:19,709 just trying to get busy with the next! 245 00:10:19,710 --> 00:10:24,130 - What? - P.U.! Your tail stinks! 246 00:10:24,131 --> 00:10:25,381 - Get out of here, you skunk! - What? 247 00:10:25,382 --> 00:10:27,650 - We are done here! - But... but... 248 00:10:27,651 --> 00:10:32,121 And great job fixing my door, you skunk! 249 00:10:36,694 --> 00:10:38,962 Hey. What's going on? 250 00:10:38,963 --> 00:10:40,163 What the hell did you tell Carol? 251 00:10:40,164 --> 00:10:42,098 What? Nothing. What? 252 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:44,167 Oh, so she just came over and ripped me a new one for the hell of it? 253 00:10:44,168 --> 00:10:45,835 I honestly don't know what you're talking about. 254 00:10:45,836 --> 00:10:48,471 Fill me in. What-What's going on? 255 00:10:48,472 --> 00:10:50,340 She said something about me stealing her man 256 00:10:50,341 --> 00:10:51,808 and something about, if I'm horny, 257 00:10:51,809 --> 00:10:53,443 I should go to a hardware store. 258 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:55,979 Well, that's bizarre. 259 00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:57,714 Did you tell her I told you I was horny? 260 00:10:57,715 --> 00:10:59,115 Trying to remember the conversation. 261 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,651 Did that come up? Did I tell her you were horny? 262 00:11:01,652 --> 00:11:02,552 You are such a dick! 263 00:11:02,553 --> 00:11:05,688 - What? Wha...? What? - Look, you married her. 264 00:11:05,689 --> 00:11:07,857 It may have been under crazy circumstances, but you did it, 265 00:11:07,858 --> 00:11:09,826 and you have no right to drag me into this. 266 00:11:09,827 --> 00:11:11,694 I know. I don't. I'm so sorry. 267 00:11:11,695 --> 00:11:14,197 Look, and-and I'll be honest, it's just coming back to me. 268 00:11:14,198 --> 00:11:15,365 I did say that. 269 00:11:15,366 --> 00:11:18,401 I told her you were horny. I... It was a textbook slip. 270 00:11:18,402 --> 00:11:19,602 Well, thanks a lot. 271 00:11:19,603 --> 00:11:21,170 She was my one chance at having a girlfriend, 272 00:11:21,171 --> 00:11:22,505 and now she hates me. 273 00:11:22,506 --> 00:11:25,508 You had a chance to have another girlfriend right here. 274 00:11:25,509 --> 00:11:28,144 Sure, I'm a guy, but I honestly, I... 275 00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:30,647 I swear I never meant to come between you and Carol. 276 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:31,814 Well, it's too late. 277 00:11:31,815 --> 00:11:34,017 - The damage is done. - Then, let's 278 00:11:34,018 --> 00:11:36,252 start repairing the damage. You want to get some lunch? 279 00:11:42,192 --> 00:11:44,227 Well, they both think I'm a skunk now. 280 00:11:44,228 --> 00:11:47,196 Got to get back on track here, got to do something. 281 00:11:47,197 --> 00:11:49,032 Think, think, think, you damn skunk. 282 00:11:54,571 --> 00:11:56,773 All right, ladies, 283 00:11:56,774 --> 00:11:58,941 this skunk has obviously offended you, 284 00:11:58,942 --> 00:12:01,844 and now it's time for you to turn the tables. 285 00:12:01,845 --> 00:12:04,013 Come on, look, we shouldn't be fighting. 286 00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:06,716 We should be having fun. 287 00:12:06,717 --> 00:12:09,552 I mean, you can't stay mad at me forever. 288 00:12:09,553 --> 00:12:11,721 I'm the last man on Earth. 289 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:27,012 Let's get this party started, huh? 290 00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:29,114 Come on out here and dunk the guy 291 00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,050 that angered two great people 292 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:34,186 who did not agree with his, granted, solid logic, 293 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:35,754 but that doesn't matter. 294 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,423 'Cause now you can dunk him. 295 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,858 Did you see the sign? 296 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,560 It's time to dunk, dunk, dunk... 297 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,399 Oh, looks like we got a slightly faulty seat here. 298 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,436 Just gonna reset that like so. 299 00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:53,606 We are GTG. We are good to go. 300 00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:58,277 When that bronco bucks you off, 301 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,279 you just get right back in the saddle... 302 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:06,152 Yeah, definitely hurt my foot there. 303 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:08,320 Yeah, there's some blood in the tank. 304 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,189 Careful. Wet T-shirt contest. 305 00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:14,326 Aw, damn it! 306 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:17,596 I'm getting back on. 307 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,698 It's really fun. You guys, it's really fun. 308 00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,534 Uh, I can't even oversell you on this. 309 00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:23,269 Ah, ah, here comes Melissa. 310 00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,304 Looks like someone's ready to blow off a little 311 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:28,307 steam and dunk... that... skunk! 312 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,975 Ah, the seat held this time. 313 00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:36,615 Melissa, you don't want to have some fun? Huh? 314 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,851 Just heading to Carol's, huh? Cool, cool, cool. 315 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:42,354 Carol? Knock, knock. 316 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,824 Well, look who it is. 317 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:47,326 You're here to talk about your horniness? 318 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,528 Carol, the only thing I'm horny for is your friendship. 319 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:50,629 That's not what Phil says. 320 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,665 Well, Phil is an ass. 321 00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:53,766 Is that Prosecco? 322 00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:54,800 Yeah. 323 00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,001 Look, this is really silly. 324 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,603 Can we just call a truce? 325 00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:59,438 The last women on Earth can't be fighting. 326 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,809 Get in here. 327 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:08,747 Three hours in. 328 00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,449 I am very, very cold. 329 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,151 But who's complaining, huh? 330 00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,353 Still a great night under the stars. 331 00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:18,491 Okay, looks like we lost the power there. 332 00:14:18,492 --> 00:14:20,326 But, you know, who cares? 333 00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:22,561 It's still a rockin' party. 334 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:29,468 Why are you guys being like this?! 335 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:33,072 Trying to freakin' make amends here! 336 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:35,174 Put a lot of work into this! 337 00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:38,177 And I didn't do it for me. I did it for you! 338 00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:41,213 Just rude. 339 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,183 Where I come from, when somebody tried to make amends with you, 340 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,685 you at least acknowledged them! 341 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:50,089 So disrespectful! 342 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,324 Oh, hey, you guys. You ready to have some fun? 343 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,893 You want me to jump back in there? 344 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,128 We need to talk. 345 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:04,036 Guys, 346 00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:06,238 look, I already said I'm sorry. 347 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,073 I feel terrible. 348 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:10,042 Although I do believe my logic is sound. 349 00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,645 Phil, 350 00:15:12,646 --> 00:15:14,880 we think... 351 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,883 that you should repopulate with Melissa as well. 352 00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,155 This a trick? 353 00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:25,524 It feels like a trick. Is it a trick? 354 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:26,792 What's happening? 355 00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:29,695 Melissa and I had a long talk. 356 00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:33,065 I just realized how important it is to have friends, 357 00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:35,835 and I want my babies to have friends, too. 358 00:15:35,836 --> 00:15:37,703 Also, I don't want my babies 359 00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,805 to have to have sex with each other. 360 00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:42,708 And you're okay with this? 361 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,109 I'm sitting here. 362 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,612 Well, I'm gonna have to think about it. 363 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,547 My answer is yes, so you want to say nowish? 364 00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,149 Not so fast, Phil. 365 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,551 This is for repopulation purposes only, so there are 366 00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,953 - going to be rules. - Mm-hmm. 367 00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:56,055 One... you can only have sex with Melissa 368 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,590 three days each month. 369 00:15:57,591 --> 00:15:58,390 Three days?! 370 00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,492 But that's not... 371 00:15:59,493 --> 00:16:00,993 Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no. 372 00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:02,328 Three is great. Three is great. 373 00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:03,729 During those three days, 374 00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:06,132 sex can occur a maximum of three times per day. 375 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,501 But, mathematically, 376 00:16:08,502 --> 00:16:10,336 if each session is eight hours long... 377 00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:12,104 Okay, Phil, I would tread lightly, 378 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,606 'cause you are walking real close 379 00:16:13,607 --> 00:16:15,040 to skunk territory right now. 380 00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,175 Watch it! 381 00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:18,144 Just trying to get the rules down. 382 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:21,914 With-with much respect, continue. 383 00:16:23,784 --> 00:16:25,718 Once Melissa is pregnant, 384 00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:28,320 no more physical contact of any kind. 385 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:29,789 And that includes sex? 386 00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:30,956 Yes. 387 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,993 Phil, do you understand the rules? 388 00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:36,495 Not only do I understand them. 389 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,464 I appreciate them. 390 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,833 'Cause this is a job we have to do. 391 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,968 Now, if you ladies will excuse me... 392 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,755 Aah! Thank you! Thank you! 393 00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,757 Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 394 00:17:08,519 --> 00:17:10,387 Phil? 395 00:17:13,257 --> 00:17:15,258 Today's the day! 396 00:17:15,259 --> 00:17:17,527 Time to procreate with Melissa. 397 00:17:18,563 --> 00:17:20,630 Oh, that's today? 398 00:17:20,631 --> 00:17:23,533 Here. This is called G.O.R.A.P. 399 00:17:23,534 --> 00:17:25,769 It stands for "good old raisins and peanuts." 400 00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:28,538 Some people call it "gorp," but that's incorrect, 401 00:17:28,539 --> 00:17:30,407 because they're forgetting about the "and." 402 00:17:30,408 --> 00:17:31,942 It's not a sexy food. 403 00:17:31,943 --> 00:17:33,310 It's just for energy. 404 00:17:33,311 --> 00:17:34,778 Great. 405 00:17:34,779 --> 00:17:36,079 Well, you smell clean. 406 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,181 I suppose you washed your genitals real nice for her? 407 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,450 - Carol, come on. - Phil. 408 00:17:40,451 --> 00:17:42,185 Yes, I did. 409 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,221 Good. Don't embarrass us. 410 00:17:45,556 --> 00:17:47,624 Also, your sex with Melissa 411 00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:50,994 should be vigorous but not fun, 412 00:17:50,995 --> 00:17:54,097 thorough but not sexy. 413 00:17:54,098 --> 00:17:55,966 Save the fun stuff for your wife. 414 00:17:55,967 --> 00:17:58,068 Care Bear, relax, okay? 415 00:17:58,069 --> 00:18:00,103 This is a job to me. 416 00:18:00,104 --> 00:18:02,939 I'm just gonna punch in and punch out. 417 00:18:02,940 --> 00:18:05,275 Punch in and punch out. 418 00:18:05,276 --> 00:18:08,578 Punch in, punch out. 419 00:18:08,579 --> 00:18:11,014 Then I'm gonna come home to my wife. 420 00:18:17,288 --> 00:18:19,289 Punch in and punch out. 421 00:18:19,290 --> 00:18:20,424 Okay. 422 00:18:23,461 --> 00:18:25,796 Godspeed. 423 00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,815 Ah. 424 00:18:44,816 --> 00:18:47,284 This is... 425 00:18:47,285 --> 00:18:49,319 - Whoa... - I know. 426 00:18:50,855 --> 00:18:53,990 Dark chocolates for my lady. 427 00:18:53,991 --> 00:18:56,994 "Ignite the spank"? No, no. It says "spark." 428 00:18:56,995 --> 00:18:59,262 "Ignite the spark." Looks like it says "Ignite the spank." 429 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,198 Shh... 430 00:19:01,199 --> 00:19:03,100 Just relax and chew. 431 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,868 Relax and chew. 432 00:19:04,869 --> 00:19:06,103 You likey? 433 00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:08,538 What's wrong? 434 00:19:08,539 --> 00:19:11,975 This is all so... romantic. 435 00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:14,845 I know. I thought this was just going to be about, 436 00:19:14,846 --> 00:19:16,713 you know, the stuff Carol said. 437 00:19:16,714 --> 00:19:20,384 Repopulation, our duty to mankind. 438 00:19:20,385 --> 00:19:21,451 Are you not into it? 439 00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:22,786 Oh, I'm into it. 440 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,488 I haven't been with a man in a long time. 441 00:19:24,489 --> 00:19:25,989 I just feel guilty about Carol. 442 00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:28,381 So, let's just cut the BS and get to it. 443 00:19:28,381 --> 00:19:31,194 I mean, if the lady wants to cut the BS and get into it, I'm gonna... 444 00:19:31,195 --> 00:19:32,663 - Thank you. - Ooh! 445 00:19:32,664 --> 00:19:34,531 Oh, wait, wait. 446 00:19:34,532 --> 00:19:35,732 I just have one more thing. 447 00:19:35,733 --> 00:19:37,401 Phil, come on. No. 448 00:19:37,402 --> 00:19:39,836 You're gonna love this. I-I just want tonight to be special. 449 00:19:39,837 --> 00:19:41,872 - It already is! - Trust me. You'll see. 450 00:19:41,873 --> 00:19:43,907 You'll see. 451 00:19:43,908 --> 00:19:46,843 Oh, God, please don't play me a song on the guitar. 452 00:19:46,844 --> 00:19:50,914 Okay. Well, then, how about I just do this? 453 00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:59,022 Amazing. 454 00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:00,190 Now get back here. 455 00:20:00,191 --> 00:20:01,692 Hang on. Patience! 456 00:20:01,693 --> 00:20:02,893 I got one more. 457 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:29,186 Now it's time for the real fireworks. 458 00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:30,954 And it's gonna be all finale. 459 00:20:30,955 --> 00:20:32,723 Phil, did you shave your chest? 460 00:20:32,724 --> 00:20:36,026 Sure did. Did you shave yours? 461 00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:37,928 JK. No. But I did. 462 00:20:37,929 --> 00:20:39,796 Can we just do this? 463 00:20:39,797 --> 00:20:42,065 Just want to tell you one last thing. 464 00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:43,767 From the moment... 465 00:20:43,768 --> 00:20:45,869 I met you... 466 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,338 I couldn't... 467 00:20:48,339 --> 00:20:49,773 Do you hear something? 468 00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,110 Damn it, Carol! 469 00:20:54,779 --> 00:20:56,947 Oh, my God. 470 00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:11,495 Hey. 471 00:21:13,931 --> 00:21:15,999 I'm Todd. 472 00:21:16,766 --> 00:21:19,917 - Synced and Corrected by peterbrito - - www.addic7ed.com - 33197

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