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Previously on The Last Man on Earth.
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- I do.
- I do?
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I thought this whole marriage
thing was just gonna be
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an absolute disaster,
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but it's surprisingly
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- tolerable.
- Whoa!
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Aah!
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Hello?
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Hello in there?
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Are you okay?
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- Uh...
- Phil!
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Wait, is there someone else in your car?
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Can't get my seatbelt off.
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Oh... She's fine.
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Oh, my God!
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Oh, yeah, uh, Carol, get out of that truck.
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There's
another person on Earth.
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I know, I know,
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I know, I know, I know, I know.
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- Are you okay?
- I just, uh, banged my knee, I think.
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Well, here, put your arm around me.
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Come on, we got to get away from this car.
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I can't believe you're here.
Phil, can you believe it?
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There's another person.
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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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Come on, let's get in my car.
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Shotgun!
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Wh...
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Phil?
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I called it!
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We'll just go over here. It's fine.
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Hey, how you doing back there?
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Oh, I'm great. Would you believe
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this is my first ride in a limousine?
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I feel like
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Imelda Marcos back here.
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I'm Carol, by the way. That's Phil.
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Hi.
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I'm Melissa.
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What brings you to Arizona?
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Oh, you know, the unbearable heat,
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lack of water.
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See, that's the exact reason why I
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wouldn't want to come, but...
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No, I saw these billboards that said
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"Alive in Tucson" so I decided
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- to give it a shot.
- Those are Phil's.
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Oh, yeah? You did those?
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That was a really smart idea.
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Mm. I mean... whatever.
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I wish you would have put
your address on them, though.
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I've been here two weeks,
just driving around.
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- Wait, y... you've been here for two weeks?
- So you were
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here before me? That's funny.
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Yeah, Phil, you should've
put your address on
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the sign.
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Yup. Should've done that.
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That's okay, though. Couple
days here, couple days there.
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What would have really been different?
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Yeah.
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Except you could have been
a guest at our wedding.
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Oh, you... you guys are married?
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- I mean...
- Yup. Tied the knot.
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Well, wait,
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you've known each other,
like, a week, right?
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- Yeah.
- Wow.
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- Yeah.
- You guys don't mess around.
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Yes, we do.
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- Carol...
- We had a awkward patch at first,
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but, oh, we have been really
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jelling lately. It's not uncommon
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for us to finish each other's...
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That's a cool function.
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So when Carol says marriage...
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Sentences.
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The-the little window went up.
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Did you guys see that? Ha.
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Yeah, we're literally
in the honeymoon phase.
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We're trying to have
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a baby, so you know what that means...
nonstop...
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Oop! The window's going up again.
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Wait, am I pushing
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the window? I'm not pushing it.
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So, uh,
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this is Chez Phil.
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Wow.
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Holy crap, is that Water Lilies?
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- Yup.
- It's stolen.
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Phil stole
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all of this.
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Well, is it really stealing if
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- there are no people left?
- That's what I said.
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Well, I could really use some rest.
Where should I stay?
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Well, you should probably
stay right here, right?
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You know, it's probably good to have
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somebody watching over you in case
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you got a concussion or something.
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I-I don't have a concussion.
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That's what people always say
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when they got a little concush brewing.
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- I definitely don't have one.
- Think about it.
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S-So can I just take any house? Or...
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Well, this one's Phil's.
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And mine's the one across the
street with the broken door.
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Because...
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Phil broke it.
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I'm gonna fix your door, Carol.
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Well, he's not very handy,
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so I'm not gonna hold my breast.
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Breath.
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Why would I hold my breath? I would die.
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Ca... why would you hold your breast?
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- Oh. No...
- It's "holding your breath" because
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there's danger if you hold your breath.
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I wouldn't. That's what I'm saying.
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So the house with the broken door is yours.
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Yeah.
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But every other one is available.
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I would avoid the white one,
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because Phil uses the pool as a toilet.
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- Carol...
- What? It's the truth.
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You know... she just got here. It's...
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But the toilet pool's the
first thing you showed me.
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But... Yeah, but you
don't have to tell her,
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- you know, the...
- Okay, I'm sorry.
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I shouldn't have put Phil's
business out on the streets.
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But don't go swimming in there.
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I'll try to resist the urge.
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- Yeah.
- Thanks.
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You go have yourself a good snooze, okay?
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And when you wake up,
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why don't you drop by for dinner?
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Dinner's a great idea.
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Oh, yeah. You come, too, Carol, sure.
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I still can't believe this. This is...
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Never thought I'd see people again.
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And you two sure are...
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you know... people.
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Come here.
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Oh.
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Hey, I want to get in on this.
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Okay.
- Mm.
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Mm.
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Okay, that's my limit, probably.
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Okay. All right.
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Thanks.
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- She's nice. I like her.
- Yeah.
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And voil�. There you have it:
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The world-famous Pilbasian casserole.
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So what-what's in that?
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Well, you got your raisin
balls, canned tomato sauce
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mint chutney and then
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potato chips for mouth feel.
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You want to try some?
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Yes.
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Okay. Let's get all
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that tomato sauce and then... Mmm.
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It's a juicy one.
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Oh.
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- Mmm.
- Uh-huh. I knew you'd love it.
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Mm-hmm.
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Phil, what's taking you so long?
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Be right down.
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He's probably deciding
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between his cargo shorts
and his sweat pants.
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I'm predicting cargo shorts.
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But you never know with Phil.
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Could be sweat pants, too. I don't know.
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Hello, ladies.
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Phil Miller. What's gotten into you?
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I don't know what you're
talking about, Carol.
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Just coming down for dinner, as I do.
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So you got rid of the beard.
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Yes, I did.
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Thought that was kind of cool.
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You did? Oh.
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Yeah, your chin
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is... too pointy. You just need
something to smooth it out.
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And you feel the same... way about that?
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- Yeah, you look smaller.
- Weaker.
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M'kay...
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Who do you look like?
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00:07:06,723 --> 00:07:08,157
Quentin Tarantino.
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Uh, okay, yeah, yeah. I
don't see that, but...
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- K.D. Lang, isn't it?
- Oh, K.D... It's K.D. Lang.
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K.D. Lang, the-the female country singer?
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- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
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Well, I like it.
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Well, you don't have to look at it.
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I guess I don't.
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Uh, shall we eat?
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So, uh... tell us more about yourself.
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Who is Melissa...
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What's your last name?
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- Shart.
- Sharp?
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Shart.
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Shart.
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Beautiful name.
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So who is
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Melissa Shart? What makes her tick?
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Well, I grew up in Akron.
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- Ohio.
- Yes.
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00:07:56,630 --> 00:07:57,830
Yup. And then
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went to UNLV.
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Go Runnin' Rebels.
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00:08:00,768 --> 00:08:03,102
Yeah, that's the mascot.
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00:08:03,103 --> 00:08:06,372
I know it well. I know it well.
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00:08:06,373 --> 00:08:07,906
Our mascot was St. Peter.
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00:08:08,942 --> 00:08:10,843
I went to a Catholic university.
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He was fierce.
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Mm-hmm.
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Go on. Go on.
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00:08:17,384 --> 00:08:19,084
Well, I was a real estate agent.
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So if you're looking to move,
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right now's a buyer's market.
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That's very funny.
217
00:08:26,226 --> 00:08:27,593
That's a good joke.
218
00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,762
No, but it's been weird. It's been hard.
219
00:08:29,763 --> 00:08:31,964
No, no, no. I know. We
shouldn't joke about that.
220
00:08:31,965 --> 00:08:33,066
But we have to laugh about it.
221
00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:34,400
Best medicine. Got to laugh.
222
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Got to joke about it.
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- Yeah.
- Yeah. Hey,
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00:08:37,271 --> 00:08:39,605
I-I just want to apologize
for smashing up your limo.
225
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,875
I feel just awful about that.
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00:08:41,876 --> 00:08:44,711
Oh, don't even worry about it. I
don't care about that thing.
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00:08:44,712 --> 00:08:46,383
- You sure?
- Now, if had been my old
228
00:08:46,384 --> 00:08:47,814
VW Bug, we would've had a problem.
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00:08:47,815 --> 00:08:49,716
Wait, you used to have a VW Bug?
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00:08:49,717 --> 00:08:51,617
- Yeah.
- I used to have a VW Bug!
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00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,720
- You did?
- Yeah, I did.
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00:08:53,721 --> 00:08:55,254
That's such a fun thing to have in common.
233
00:08:55,255 --> 00:08:57,356
- Yeah.
- Couple of Bug owners here.
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00:08:57,357 --> 00:08:58,791
Yeah.
235
00:08:58,792 --> 00:08:59,892
Which one did you have?
236
00:09:03,731 --> 00:09:05,465
Okay, well, full disclosure,
237
00:09:05,466 --> 00:09:07,232
it was actually my buddy's sister's Bug.
238
00:09:08,435 --> 00:09:10,269
And it was a... a Jetta.
239
00:09:10,270 --> 00:09:13,551
But, uh, God, I logged some
serious hours in there.
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00:09:13,552 --> 00:09:14,896
Love those things.
241
00:09:15,375 --> 00:09:17,810
- Great cars.
- Yeah.
242
00:09:17,811 --> 00:09:20,847
So, uh, Melissa,
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00:09:20,848 --> 00:09:23,916
were you married in the old world?
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00:09:23,917 --> 00:09:25,785
Yes, I was married once
245
00:09:25,786 --> 00:09:27,286
to a jerk named Greg.
246
00:09:27,287 --> 00:09:30,022
Cheated on me with a cop.
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00:09:30,023 --> 00:09:32,658
Friggin' cheaters.
248
00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,327
I'm so sorry you went through that.
249
00:09:34,328 --> 00:09:35,862
No, it was all for the best.
250
00:09:35,863 --> 00:09:37,096
- Yeah.
- He wasn't my type anyway.
251
00:09:37,097 --> 00:09:39,365
And what is your type?
252
00:09:39,366 --> 00:09:42,502
Just a man's man. A provider.
253
00:09:42,503 --> 00:09:45,705
Duly noted.
254
00:09:45,706 --> 00:09:49,575
- Um...
- Oh, uh, for... Carol, you know?
255
00:09:49,576 --> 00:09:52,512
Trying to make myself a better
husband for that woman.
256
00:09:52,513 --> 00:09:54,113
And you should.
257
00:09:54,114 --> 00:09:55,882
'Cause Carol, you seem
like a really great lady.
258
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Thank you.
259
00:09:58,418 --> 00:10:00,486
Well, and I-I think Greg's crazy,
260
00:10:00,487 --> 00:10:02,922
because you, Melissa, are a catch.
261
00:10:02,923 --> 00:10:04,991
Like, a Moby Dick-sized catch.
262
00:10:04,992 --> 00:10:06,993
Moby Dick?
263
00:10:06,994 --> 00:10:08,528
Try Moby Double Dick.
264
00:10:08,529 --> 00:10:10,396
Well, I'm gonna get to bed.
265
00:10:10,397 --> 00:10:12,865
Thank you, dinner was...
266
00:10:14,256 --> 00:10:15,067
Thank you.
267
00:10:15,068 --> 00:10:16,803
- Walk you home?
- I'm good.
268
00:10:16,804 --> 00:10:17,970
How about another group hug?
269
00:10:17,971 --> 00:10:19,705
Rain check.
270
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,541
Well, I'm gonna collect.
271
00:10:21,542 --> 00:10:23,643
Believe you me.
272
00:10:23,644 --> 00:10:26,212
Like a tax man collecting hug tax.
273
00:10:26,213 --> 00:10:27,712
I will collect.
274
00:10:29,249 --> 00:10:31,417
So, you ready to take the train
275
00:10:31,418 --> 00:10:33,820
to repopulation station?
276
00:10:33,821 --> 00:10:36,622
Without your beard, you're
like a whole new man.
277
00:10:36,623 --> 00:10:38,758
It's like I'm cheating on my husband.
278
00:10:38,759 --> 00:10:41,394
Which I would never, ever do.
279
00:10:41,395 --> 00:10:43,596
Yeah, uh, look, I'm sorry, Carol,
280
00:10:43,597 --> 00:10:45,298
I-I really don't feel like it tonight.
281
00:10:45,299 --> 00:10:47,600
I think I ate something
that didn't agree with me.
282
00:10:47,601 --> 00:10:49,167
Oh.
283
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,438
Is it diarrhea?
284
00:10:52,439 --> 00:10:54,707
Carol, can we please not talk about this?
285
00:10:54,708 --> 00:10:56,909
Phil, I'm your wife, and I want you to know
286
00:10:56,910 --> 00:10:59,946
that you can always tell
me about your diarrhea.
287
00:10:59,947 --> 00:11:01,714
- Carol...
- You can,
288
00:11:01,715 --> 00:11:03,416
and I'll tell you if I ever have it.
289
00:11:03,417 --> 00:11:04,450
It's part of the deal.
290
00:11:04,451 --> 00:11:06,285
It's why people get married.
291
00:11:06,286 --> 00:11:08,554
So they can tell each
other stuff like that.
292
00:11:08,555 --> 00:11:10,656
Carol, look, I don't have diarrhea, okay?
293
00:11:10,657 --> 00:11:13,125
My stomach is just upset.
294
00:11:13,126 --> 00:11:14,994
But I promise you, as your husband,
295
00:11:14,995 --> 00:11:16,562
the moment I have diarrhea,
296
00:11:16,563 --> 00:11:18,197
I will march on over to your house
297
00:11:18,198 --> 00:11:19,532
and tell you all about it.
298
00:11:19,533 --> 00:11:21,601
And I look forward to hearing about yours.
299
00:11:21,602 --> 00:11:23,236
Promise?
300
00:11:23,237 --> 00:11:24,370
I promise.
301
00:11:24,371 --> 00:11:26,571
Okay.
302
00:11:27,708 --> 00:11:29,041
Hey, Phil?
303
00:11:29,042 --> 00:11:30,810
What?
304
00:11:30,811 --> 00:11:33,278
Are you attracted to Melissa?
305
00:11:34,314 --> 00:11:36,314
Honestly?
306
00:11:37,451 --> 00:11:40,118
No.
307
00:11:44,124 --> 00:11:46,359
Okay.
308
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,131
Phil!
309
00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:55,867
Come here.
310
00:11:56,904 --> 00:11:58,937
I want to show you something.
311
00:12:05,145 --> 00:12:06,645
This way.
312
00:12:22,629 --> 00:12:24,764
Hi, Phil. Guess what I have?
313
00:12:24,765 --> 00:12:26,299
Starts with a "D."
314
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:27,833
Diarrhea.
315
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:30,136
Diarrhea,
diarrhea, diarrhea!
316
00:12:39,737 --> 00:12:41,505
Come in.
317
00:12:43,274 --> 00:12:44,673
Oh, hey, Melissa.
318
00:12:46,177 --> 00:12:47,811
What can I do you for?
319
00:12:47,812 --> 00:12:49,112
Can you come with me?
320
00:12:49,113 --> 00:12:50,614
Yeah, hang on one sec.
321
00:12:50,615 --> 00:12:52,816
Almost done with my set.
322
00:12:52,817 --> 00:12:55,052
Got to get those reps in. Ha.
323
00:12:55,053 --> 00:12:57,387
391...
324
00:12:57,388 --> 00:12:59,890
392...
325
00:12:59,891 --> 00:13:01,091
three-ninety...
326
00:13:01,092 --> 00:13:03,493
...three.
327
00:13:04,695 --> 00:13:07,164
393... that's my number.
328
00:13:07,165 --> 00:13:08,464
Let's do it.
329
00:13:13,271 --> 00:13:14,871
So, what is this?
330
00:13:14,872 --> 00:13:16,473
I don't know.
331
00:13:16,474 --> 00:13:18,407
Must be from the Volkswagen fairy.
332
00:13:19,844 --> 00:13:21,178
No biggie.
333
00:13:21,179 --> 00:13:22,446
You know, I felt bad about the limo
334
00:13:22,447 --> 00:13:23,914
and so I made right.
335
00:13:23,915 --> 00:13:25,182
That's how I do.
336
00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:27,350
I'm a provider like that.
337
00:13:27,351 --> 00:13:29,252
You really don't have to do that.
338
00:13:29,253 --> 00:13:30,987
I don't do things 'cause I have to.
339
00:13:30,988 --> 00:13:32,189
Phil!
340
00:13:32,190 --> 00:13:33,890
Can I see you for a second?!
341
00:13:33,891 --> 00:13:35,292
Sure, Carol!
342
00:13:35,293 --> 00:13:36,860
Anything for you!
343
00:13:36,861 --> 00:13:38,528
So devoted to her.
344
00:13:38,529 --> 00:13:41,764
- Phil!
- I said I'm coming, Carol!
345
00:13:44,635 --> 00:13:46,203
You shouted?
346
00:13:46,204 --> 00:13:47,804
You bought Melissa a car?
347
00:13:47,805 --> 00:13:50,107
Yeah, Carol, I smashed up her limo.
348
00:13:50,108 --> 00:13:51,808
So you have all the time to do that,
349
00:13:51,809 --> 00:13:55,245
but you couldn't take the
time to fix my door?
350
00:13:55,246 --> 00:13:57,481
Carol, this door is broken in
a way that cannot be fixed.
351
00:13:57,482 --> 00:13:59,583
Okay, it was broken from the start,
352
00:13:59,584 --> 00:14:02,652
so maybe it's time to
think about moving on.
353
00:14:02,653 --> 00:14:03,954
Phil, when something's broken,
354
00:14:03,955 --> 00:14:05,856
you don't just throw it away.
355
00:14:05,857 --> 00:14:07,624
Okay, you work on it and you fix it.
356
00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:09,726
Fine, Carol.
357
00:14:09,727 --> 00:14:11,094
I'll fix the stupid door.
358
00:14:11,095 --> 00:14:12,662
- Fine. Fine.
- Fine!
359
00:14:12,663 --> 00:14:14,731
- Fine! Fine!
- Fine! Fine!
360
00:14:20,805 --> 00:14:23,607
Locked in a pretty serious
battle with Carol's door.
361
00:14:23,608 --> 00:14:25,742
Gonna pop down to the hardware store,
362
00:14:25,743 --> 00:14:26,977
uh, pick up some supplies,
363
00:14:26,978 --> 00:14:29,112
gonna get some two by's, some four by's,
364
00:14:29,113 --> 00:14:30,413
nails for sure.
365
00:14:30,414 --> 00:14:32,916
- A Wilson Phillips head screwdriver...
- A what?
366
00:14:32,917 --> 00:14:35,185
A Wilson Phillips head screwdriver.
367
00:14:35,186 --> 00:14:36,619
You mean a Phillips head screwdriver.
368
00:14:37,755 --> 00:14:39,356
Wilson Phillips was a band.
369
00:14:40,791 --> 00:14:42,759
They named a band after a screwdriver.
370
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:44,127
Cool. Well, uh,
371
00:14:44,128 --> 00:14:45,261
catch you on the flippity.
372
00:14:47,331 --> 00:14:49,765
Pick up a shirt while you're at it.
373
00:14:51,002 --> 00:14:53,003
Yeah, so,
374
00:14:53,004 --> 00:14:55,005
that's the wedding scrapbook.
375
00:14:55,006 --> 00:14:57,307
Wish there were actual picture.
376
00:14:57,308 --> 00:14:59,042
But...
377
00:14:59,043 --> 00:15:01,511
- I like the illustrations.
- Thank you.
378
00:15:01,512 --> 00:15:04,381
Yeah, I took a class from a
police sketch artist once.
379
00:15:04,382 --> 00:15:08,451
His drawings led to the capture
of the Green River killer.
380
00:15:08,452 --> 00:15:11,020
Well, it really shows.
381
00:15:12,957 --> 00:15:14,424
Hey, I was wondering,
why don't you and Phil
382
00:15:14,425 --> 00:15:16,026
live in the same house?
383
00:15:16,027 --> 00:15:18,461
He likes to have a little buffer.
384
00:15:18,462 --> 00:15:21,031
But why? You're his wife.
385
00:15:21,032 --> 00:15:23,400
Well, to be honest,
386
00:15:23,401 --> 00:15:25,669
we only got married to repopulate.
387
00:15:25,670 --> 00:15:28,238
I didn't want bastard children.
388
00:15:28,239 --> 00:15:30,574
And I got to give him credit.
389
00:15:30,575 --> 00:15:32,175
I mean, he could've walked away.
390
00:15:32,176 --> 00:15:35,312
Most men would probably think
I was crazy for wanting
391
00:15:35,313 --> 00:15:36,646
to be married.
392
00:15:36,647 --> 00:15:39,182
Do you think I'm crazy?
393
00:15:39,183 --> 00:15:41,151
Carol, no.
394
00:15:41,152 --> 00:15:43,019
Do you know how I've spent
the last year of my life?
395
00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:44,421
I've been driving
396
00:15:44,422 --> 00:15:47,190
around the country going
to different coffee shops.
397
00:15:47,191 --> 00:15:49,859
Just sitting there, reading old magazines
398
00:15:49,860 --> 00:15:52,062
with my little cup, and
I'd write my name on it
399
00:15:52,063 --> 00:15:54,397
and misspell it.
400
00:15:54,398 --> 00:15:56,900
Just to feel normal.
401
00:15:56,901 --> 00:15:59,736
Well, I'll go have coffee with you.
402
00:15:59,737 --> 00:16:01,537
I'd like that.
403
00:16:03,574 --> 00:16:05,709
Wh... Is that me?
404
00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:07,544
Yeah.
405
00:16:07,545 --> 00:16:09,179
I just got here yesterday.
406
00:16:09,180 --> 00:16:10,947
Oh, yeah, that's one thing
they teach you in the class.
407
00:16:10,948 --> 00:16:15,285
You have to sketch fast or
the killer could kill again.
408
00:16:15,286 --> 00:16:16,486
Right.
409
00:16:16,487 --> 00:16:18,188
Yeah.
410
00:16:24,962 --> 00:16:25,962
How's it coming?
411
00:16:25,963 --> 00:16:27,430
Oh, hey!
412
00:16:27,431 --> 00:16:29,432
It's going insanely good. It...
413
00:16:29,433 --> 00:16:31,268
Insanely good.
414
00:16:31,269 --> 00:16:32,802
Yeah, it looks like it.
415
00:16:32,803 --> 00:16:34,404
Well, there's an easy fix for that.
416
00:16:34,405 --> 00:16:36,306
You know, you just throw a little
417
00:16:36,307 --> 00:16:37,707
nail in there, like so.
418
00:16:39,977 --> 00:16:42,445
I got my thumb there.
419
00:16:42,446 --> 00:16:43,580
Are you okay?
420
00:16:43,581 --> 00:16:45,649
No, I'm good. I'm good. I'm doing great.
421
00:16:45,650 --> 00:16:48,485
And how are you doing?
422
00:16:48,486 --> 00:16:50,887
I was just wanting to invite
you and Carol over later,
423
00:16:50,888 --> 00:16:52,222
if you're free.
424
00:16:52,223 --> 00:16:53,823
I hooked up my fridge to a little generator
425
00:16:53,824 --> 00:16:55,225
and have some beers chilling.
426
00:16:55,226 --> 00:16:56,593
Well, that'd be great.
427
00:16:56,594 --> 00:16:58,894
Uh, you know, I'll definitely
pass that on to Carol.
428
00:17:09,740 --> 00:17:11,875
It's too bad Carol couldn't come.
429
00:17:11,876 --> 00:17:14,811
Yeah. Diarrhea.
430
00:17:14,812 --> 00:17:17,380
She takes a lot of chances in the kitchen.
431
00:17:17,381 --> 00:17:19,315
But, uh, don't mention it to her, okay?
432
00:17:19,316 --> 00:17:22,384
She gets real embarrassed.
433
00:17:23,954 --> 00:17:27,056
Can I confess something to you?
434
00:17:27,057 --> 00:17:29,159
Yeah, of course.
435
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:34,030
When I first met you guys,
I liked Carol immediately,
436
00:17:34,031 --> 00:17:35,931
but I was a little...
437
00:17:37,434 --> 00:17:39,401
unclear on you.
438
00:17:40,437 --> 00:17:42,605
Un-unclear in what way?
439
00:17:42,606 --> 00:17:46,643
There was a weird... weird energy at first.
440
00:17:46,644 --> 00:17:47,977
What?
441
00:17:49,246 --> 00:17:51,614
That's, uh, crazy. What?
442
00:17:51,615 --> 00:17:52,815
But then I talked to Carol
443
00:17:52,816 --> 00:17:54,017
and she told me more about your situation,
444
00:17:54,018 --> 00:17:55,818
and I realized, I might've...
445
00:17:55,819 --> 00:17:57,987
you know, just...
446
00:17:57,988 --> 00:18:00,957
misjudged you, so-so I'm sorry.
447
00:18:00,958 --> 00:18:02,892
Yeah, you misjudged me 'cause I'm not...
448
00:18:02,893 --> 00:18:05,461
That's weird, you
were unclear on that, but...
449
00:18:05,462 --> 00:18:06,496
I said I was sorry.
450
00:18:06,497 --> 00:18:07,530
No, no, no, no, no, no.
451
00:18:07,531 --> 00:18:09,032
I'm saying thanks for saying it.
452
00:18:09,033 --> 00:18:12,268
It takes a big person to be so...
to say sorry
453
00:18:12,269 --> 00:18:14,003
and that was... that's a cool gesture
454
00:18:14,004 --> 00:18:16,172
and, you know, especially
when you're wrong like that.
455
00:18:16,173 --> 00:18:17,540
Um, so...
456
00:18:17,541 --> 00:18:18,808
Hey, cheers to that, though.
457
00:18:18,809 --> 00:18:21,144
I'm so happy that you misjudged me
458
00:18:21,145 --> 00:18:23,112
and think I'm great.
459
00:18:27,718 --> 00:18:29,085
Oh, I need to get another beer.
460
00:18:29,086 --> 00:18:30,286
You want another beer?
461
00:18:30,287 --> 00:18:33,289
Well, pretty tipsy already, but why not?
462
00:18:33,290 --> 00:18:36,325
- One more beer.
- One more won't kill me.
463
00:18:38,195 --> 00:18:39,762
God.
464
00:18:39,763 --> 00:18:42,098
Two years.
465
00:18:42,099 --> 00:18:43,533
Such a long time.
466
00:18:43,534 --> 00:18:45,969
Yeah.
467
00:18:45,970 --> 00:18:47,769
I get so lonely, you know.
468
00:18:48,806 --> 00:18:50,206
Yeah?
469
00:18:50,207 --> 00:18:51,374
I guess it's just that I'm...
470
00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:52,942
and I really hate this word,
471
00:18:52,943 --> 00:18:54,177
but there's no other way to say it,
472
00:18:54,178 --> 00:18:55,377
I'm horny.
473
00:18:58,682 --> 00:19:00,115
I'm so horny, Phil.
474
00:19:01,151 --> 00:19:02,619
Hmm?
475
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:04,387
I mean, after something like this happens,
476
00:19:04,388 --> 00:19:06,422
you realize how necessary it is to be...
477
00:19:06,423 --> 00:19:08,558
you know, just touched
478
00:19:08,559 --> 00:19:11,661
and held and kissed.
479
00:19:11,662 --> 00:19:13,730
I would saw off my right arm to make out
480
00:19:13,731 --> 00:19:14,931
with a dude.
481
00:19:14,932 --> 00:19:16,766
I would, too. I would, too. It's natural.
482
00:19:16,767 --> 00:19:19,402
You know, that's why I'm so
happy for you and Carol.
483
00:19:19,403 --> 00:19:20,703
No, but...
484
00:19:20,704 --> 00:19:22,038
I mean, I know that it's not
perfect between you guys,
485
00:19:22,039 --> 00:19:23,740
but at least you have each other.
486
00:19:23,741 --> 00:19:25,041
Yeah, but I mean...
487
00:19:25,042 --> 00:19:27,176
And I respect that.
488
00:19:27,177 --> 00:19:29,779
But God, I just want to get laid.
489
00:19:32,049 --> 00:19:33,349
Sorry, that was inappropriate.
490
00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:34,517
No, no, no, no.
491
00:19:34,518 --> 00:19:36,085
I shouldn't be talking to
a married man like that.
492
00:19:36,086 --> 00:19:38,721
No, no, no, no, no. Don't
beat yourself up about that.
493
00:19:38,722 --> 00:19:40,390
It's just my luck, the only man
left on the face of the Earth
494
00:19:40,391 --> 00:19:41,791
and he's married.
495
00:19:41,792 --> 00:19:45,061
He doesn't have to be.
496
00:19:45,062 --> 00:19:47,030
What?
497
00:19:48,399 --> 00:19:50,333
I got to go have a quick talk with Carol
498
00:19:50,334 --> 00:19:52,201
and I will be right back.
499
00:19:54,305 --> 00:19:56,271
Carol!
500
00:19:57,274 --> 00:19:58,741
Coming in!
501
00:20:04,581 --> 00:20:05,982
- Carol.
- Hi, Phil.
502
00:20:05,983 --> 00:20:07,350
I have something really important
503
00:20:07,351 --> 00:20:08,818
I need to talk to you about.
504
00:20:08,819 --> 00:20:09,919
Okay, hold on just... just putting
505
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,487
the finishing touches on this project.
506
00:20:11,488 --> 00:20:15,058
I really need to talk to
you about this marriage.
507
00:20:15,059 --> 00:20:16,292
And... done.
508
00:20:16,293 --> 00:20:18,027
I think you're really going to like it.
509
00:20:18,028 --> 00:20:19,228
It's for my door.
510
00:20:19,229 --> 00:20:20,630
Oh, no.
511
00:20:20,631 --> 00:20:22,764
Home of Carol Pilbasian-Miller.
512
00:20:23,801 --> 00:20:25,568
Look, Phil,
513
00:20:25,569 --> 00:20:28,338
I know it can be an annoying job at time
514
00:20:28,339 --> 00:20:30,673
to fix the door,
515
00:20:30,674 --> 00:20:32,675
but I thought this could help.
516
00:20:32,676 --> 00:20:34,877
It's just a reminder
that I'm rooting for you
517
00:20:34,878 --> 00:20:38,614
and I believe in you, 'cause I'm your wife.
518
00:20:38,615 --> 00:20:40,983
And I know
519
00:20:40,984 --> 00:20:43,386
fixing the door may take time,
520
00:20:43,387 --> 00:20:47,056
but I believe that one day you will fix it
521
00:20:47,057 --> 00:20:49,658
and that door will be magnificent.
522
00:20:53,630 --> 00:20:56,832
Um, wh-what did you want to talk about?
523
00:21:00,371 --> 00:21:02,838
I have diarrhea.
524
00:21:04,208 --> 00:21:06,109
Thank you.
525
00:21:06,110 --> 00:21:08,611
Yep.
526
00:21:08,612 --> 00:21:11,180
Phil, you know the door
symbolizes our marriage.
527
00:21:11,181 --> 00:21:13,082
I know, Carol. I know.
528
00:21:13,083 --> 00:21:16,185
- Synced and Corrected by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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