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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,080
Hi, I'm David Faustino, Bud Bundy,
Merriwood Children.
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This is what happens when I drink. My
money's gone, my mother's a midget, and
3
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wife left me for my neighbor, Julio.
This is my best friend, Corin Emmett,
4
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former star of TV's Parker Lewis Can't
Lose. He did lose. My manager's been
5
00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,580
me since I was in diapers. Now he's in
diapers.
6
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,980
When I'm not trying to kill myself, I
run a porn shop left to me by a crazed
7
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fan. Oh, and I'm also freakishly short.
Thanks, God.
8
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What? Say it to my face, motherfucker!
9
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Oh, God.
10
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Oh,
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God.
12
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You look like you could use a free gym
membership.
13
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What makes you say that?
14
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We offer free self -defense classes.
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Why would I need self -defense?
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I'll take it.
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Is that all you got in you, big homie?
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Hello.
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Hi,
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David. Hi, guys.
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I didn't know you two worked out here.
22
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Yeah, we got the Lifetime Celebrity
Women Tour.
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For free?
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Yes, sir.
25
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Fucking bitch!
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Calm down, bud.
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Why is it always going to be butt?
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All right, all right, all right, all
right, all right.
29
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You look good, David. Thanks.
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I'm going to go pull up.
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Good to see you two.
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I'm going to go pull it up.
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Bitches must be.
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All right, everyone reach for the sky.
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Reach.
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Tickle the stars.
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Tickle the stars.
38
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Tickle them.
39
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You stretch your arms to the ceiling,
not your legs, although I don't really
40
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mind that too much.
41
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Up. There. Yes. Up.
42
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Down. Up.
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A little up. A little down.
44
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,060
Yes. No, but a little up and a little
down at the same time.
45
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A little up and a little down. It's the
same.
46
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What?
47
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What?
48
00:03:16,670 --> 00:03:17,670
What time, John?
49
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Shh. This is how you spend your day,
everyone.
50
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You're doing great.
51
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You're doing great. I'm going to help
the new student real quick.
52
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Don't get your fucking hands off me.
53
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Don't you. Shh.
54
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,130
Sorry, class, but I'm late. Did
everybody have a good weekend?
55
00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:34,850
I'm so proud of you. You're all in poses
already. Oh, look at that.
56
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We have a new one.
57
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Hi. Hi. Do you need some help?
58
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Yes, yes, I do. Yes?
59
00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:43,290
Okay, you're a little wide.
60
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Why don't you take those buns and jump a
little bit. Okay. Okay. And go down.
61
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Breathe.
62
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And breathe.
63
00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:37,400
We start tomorrow morning, 5 a .m. Be
here.
64
00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:44,100
Well, I just went swimming. I'm cold.
65
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Pools need it, tiny.
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5 a .m. Be here.
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Steroids, steroids, steroids, steroids.
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00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,440
Don't do it, Dave.
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He's crazy.
70
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Thank you.
4568
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