All language subtitles for Star-ving s01e09 Stealing Alan Thicke

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,080 Hi, I'm David Faustino, Bud Bundy, Merriwood Children. 2 00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:05,020 This is what happens when I drink. My money's gone, my mother's a midget, and 3 00:00:05,020 --> 00:00:08,039 wife left me for my neighbor, Julio. This is my best friend, Corin Emmett, 4 00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:10,580 former star of TV's Parker Lewis Can't Lose. He did lose. 5 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,580 My manager's been with me since I was in diapers. Now he's in diapers. 6 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,940 When I'm not trying to kill myself, I run a porn shop left to me by a crazed 7 00:00:16,940 --> 00:00:19,380 fan. Oh, and I'm also freakishly short. Thanks, God. 8 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:31,100 Hi, I'm Alan Six, beloved TV... father here to make you rich like me. 9 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,560 Oh, I'm not talking Kelsey Grammer rich, but I do okay. 10 00:00:34,940 --> 00:00:35,940 Why? 11 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:38,600 Because I sold out completely. 12 00:00:39,180 --> 00:00:40,880 Alan Thicke, what a douchebag. 13 00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:43,980 Actually, I've known Alan a long time. 14 00:00:44,220 --> 00:00:47,100 He's a really nice guy. He's done really well for himself. He's done great with 15 00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:51,760 these infomercials. His son, Robin Thicke, he's even more richer and more 16 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:52,439 than him. 17 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,080 I mean, he's a huge pop star now. He's worth trillions. 18 00:00:55,980 --> 00:00:56,980 Trillions? 19 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:01,760 Get rich with alanthick .com. You click, I stay rich. 20 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:08,780 Where can we find Alan Thick? I don't know what you're thinking over there, 21 00:01:08,780 --> 00:01:09,820 Alan's Canadian. 22 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,240 Where's the nearest ice rink? 23 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,380 You are sharp as a tack. 24 00:01:25,770 --> 00:01:28,390 They could have made the big. I know it. 25 00:01:29,410 --> 00:01:31,130 They said I wasn't tough enough. 26 00:01:32,470 --> 00:01:34,710 Hollywood hockey, that's all I'm good for. 27 00:01:35,330 --> 00:01:39,670 Yeah, yeah. So I would give half my fortune to these departments. 28 00:01:41,610 --> 00:01:42,610 Get him! 29 00:01:42,690 --> 00:01:43,690 Get him! 30 00:01:44,530 --> 00:01:45,530 What's this? 31 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:55,900 Give us your filthy rich son Robin Thicke's phone number right now or else. 32 00:01:57,220 --> 00:01:58,220 Torture. 33 00:02:00,660 --> 00:02:05,120 It's a black one connected to the right testicle and red to the left. 34 00:02:05,380 --> 00:02:06,600 Don't let me stop you. 35 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,539 You know I do like this. 36 00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:11,320 Juice them up! Juice them up! 37 00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:12,540 Hit it! Hit it! 38 00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:19,170 It's what they did just before my penis reduction. We got a good old -fashioned 39 00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:20,170 ripping out of the fingers. 40 00:02:22,130 --> 00:02:25,710 In Canada, we call that a manicure. And make sure you get this one. 41 00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,510 Let me know when you start. 42 00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:38,190 Oh, my God. 43 00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:40,670 Is this guy going to start soon? 44 00:02:41,210 --> 00:02:43,070 I don't believe this. He's not human. 45 00:02:43,270 --> 00:02:44,310 He's not fucking human! 46 00:02:46,590 --> 00:02:49,090 Waterboarding. No one can take a good old drowning. 47 00:02:49,330 --> 00:02:52,190 If you're the senior agent, you go ahead and pour the water. Okay. 48 00:02:52,430 --> 00:02:53,450 You ready? Yeah. 49 00:02:53,690 --> 00:02:55,770 I'd be offended if I nod off. 50 00:02:56,030 --> 00:02:58,190 You're going to give us Robin's number. Come on! 51 00:02:58,430 --> 00:02:59,870 Give us Robin's number! Get it to us! 52 00:03:00,230 --> 00:03:01,990 He's supposed to start freaking out now. 53 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,070 He should start gagging and drowning. 54 00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:08,050 Don't forget to twist those nipples. 55 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:14,360 What? You know I once fucked a moose? Ah, fucking son of a bitch! We can't 56 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,580 get that fucking number! 57 00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:17,460 Now what? 58 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:18,560 You got any beer? 59 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,160 The TV family! 60 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,440 The TV family? The TV family! 61 00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:25,380 Why didn't we think of that in the first place? I have no idea. They all have 62 00:03:25,380 --> 00:03:27,740 money. Forget about Robin Thicke. Yeah, fuck that. 63 00:03:28,060 --> 00:03:29,039 All right, let's do it. 64 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:33,380 My father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. 65 00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:40,228 Oh, Lord. 66 00:03:40,230 --> 00:03:42,470 Please don't let this be David Faustino. 67 00:03:44,230 --> 00:03:46,050 Hello? Kirk Cameron? 68 00:03:46,370 --> 00:03:48,090 David Faustino! 69 00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:50,010 He passed. 70 00:03:56,810 --> 00:03:58,550 Shit! All right, plan B. 71 00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:00,230 Tracy Gold. 72 00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:09,270 You've got Alan. 73 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:10,950 What's the project? 74 00:04:12,490 --> 00:04:15,110 No, um... We've got Alan. 75 00:04:16,610 --> 00:04:17,610 Yeah. 76 00:04:17,910 --> 00:04:20,089 Yeah? We have him. 77 00:04:21,290 --> 00:04:22,870 We got him blocked. 78 00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:26,250 I don't get it. What do you need me for? 79 00:04:26,550 --> 00:04:29,010 Don't you want to see Alan alive again, Tracy? 80 00:04:29,450 --> 00:04:30,490 Then we need your money. 81 00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:32,130 What are you guys talking about? 82 00:04:32,430 --> 00:04:33,430 Uh, that's it. 83 00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:36,790 Smart girl. Smart girl playing dumb. Nothing sexy. 84 00:04:37,870 --> 00:04:39,450 So, uh, there is no project? 85 00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:40,830 No. 86 00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:44,370 So you got me all the way down here, and there's no project? 87 00:04:46,650 --> 00:04:48,950 We have Alan Fitt. 88 00:04:51,350 --> 00:04:52,350 Oh! Oh! 89 00:04:52,650 --> 00:04:53,730 Oh! Oh! 90 00:04:54,150 --> 00:04:55,650 Oh! Oh! 91 00:04:56,070 --> 00:04:57,070 Oh! Oh! 92 00:04:59,050 --> 00:05:00,250 There's your check from the other day. 93 00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:01,649 Has been. 94 00:05:01,650 --> 00:05:02,650 Thank you! 95 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:19,680 What about the other son on the show? You know, the dorky one, the blonde 96 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:23,540 goody -goody? Oh, the little brother. Yeah. Jeremy Miller. That's right, 97 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:26,560 Miller. I used to smoke weed with him all the time. Really? 98 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,760 Yeah, he's not a goody -goody. 99 00:05:29,060 --> 00:05:33,240 Hi, I'm Alan Thicke, beloved TV father, here to make you rich. 100 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:41,140 Please don't let this be David Faustino. 101 00:05:48,730 --> 00:05:50,590 Hello? Jeremy Miller? 102 00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,850 We have your father. 103 00:05:53,170 --> 00:05:54,650 And we're gonna kill him. 104 00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:55,930 My father? 105 00:05:56,430 --> 00:06:00,250 Well, I mean, it's not your real father. It's, you know, your TV dad, Alan 106 00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:01,250 Thicke. 107 00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:06,410 And? And if you give us one trillion dollars in small unmarked bills 108 00:06:06,410 --> 00:06:10,010 immediately, he's dead, you faggot. A trillion dollars? 109 00:06:10,290 --> 00:06:13,870 All I got is like a hundred bucks and a sack of weed. 110 00:06:14,950 --> 00:06:15,950 We'll take it! 111 00:06:16,390 --> 00:06:17,390 5 p .m. 112 00:06:17,630 --> 00:06:19,160 Vanite! Nice rink. 113 00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:20,640 Be there, bitch. 114 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:24,060 Go down to the mall and sign autographs. 115 00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:26,180 Well, 116 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:30,740 Mr. Pick, you might not be worth a trillion bucks, but we're going home. 117 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,640 What's the matter? No more smart -ass remarks, Mr. Canada? 118 00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:36,100 Mr. Tookie! 119 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:05,840 You first. 120 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:07,660 You first. 121 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:08,799 You first. 122 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:09,759 You first. 123 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,280 Hey, come on. You guys flight it first. 124 00:07:11,580 --> 00:07:12,579 You first. 125 00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:14,360 I don't trust you losers a bit. 126 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,280 Flight it first, then I'll flight it over. You pass your stuff over. 127 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,100 We'll pass our goods over. We meet in the middle. 128 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:22,760 Same time. 129 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:23,800 On three. 130 00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:24,940 On three. 131 00:07:25,580 --> 00:07:26,580 One. 132 00:07:27,340 --> 00:07:28,340 Two. 133 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,240 Thank you. 9092

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